Here With Me - colorsflashing (2024)

Chapter 1: It Ain’t My Fault

Chapter Text

I never in a million years would have expected to be line dancing at a random dive bar in a small Italian village to Alan Jackson but here I am and let me just say, I'm having a blast. The handsome Italian man standing beside me is trying his hardest to keep up with the dance but he's having a little trouble. He's being a good sport about it though so I can't complain.

“Bellisima, where did you learn to dance like this?" He shouts over the music. I do a little spin and give him a smile as I answer that I'm from Texas and practically came out of the womb being able to line dance.

"Ahh the outfit makes much more sense now." He says looking down at my very scuffed up cowboy boots up to my short yellow sundress with little white daisies on it, both that I've had since high school. I wink at him once his eyes come back up to my face and I watch as his cheeks turn a little pink knowing that he got caught checking me out.

I know I'm an attractive woman. I have long dark brown wavy hair that hangs down to my waist and big ocean blue eyes. My skin tans nicely in the summer time and I'm blessed with being pretty tall and having a fast metabolism that keeps me thin even after having a child and also being 30 years old. Speaking of that child, I realize that he's calling me. I pull out my vibrating phone from where I had it hidden in my dress and take a step outside of the bar. Once outside I quickly answer my phone, not wanting to miss the call.

"My baby! How did your race go?!" I say excitedly which makes him chuckle. I smile as I hear him, and realize how much I miss him.

"I won again! Have you been drinking?" He asks with a stern voice but laughs indicating he's joking.

"Congratulations baby!! And yes, I have! You better stop judging me, I'm still young!" I tell him, as I notice a very nice car pull into the parking lot of the dive bar. It's a Ferrari and way too nice to be in this part of town. My eyes remain on the car, waiting for their owner to emerge while I listen to my baby's response.

"You are Mama and you deserve to have some fun. Just be safe, please?" He says and my heart melts. My sweet, sweet boy. I'm distracted by his sweet words that I don't see the owner of the Ferrari until he passes by me, heading into the bar. He gives me a small smile and a nod as he walks through the door. He's probably one of the most handsome men I've ever seen. Dark floppy hair, green eyes from the looks of it and just the right amount of facial hair to be sexy. For some reason he looks really familiar but I can't put my finger on why.

"I will be. I promise." I say into my phone as I stare at the bar door closing, wracking my brain on why I recognize that man.

"Good. Well I just wanted to call and tell you about my win. I miss you."

"I miss you too, baby. Congratulations again, I'm so proud of you. I wish I could have been there to see it." I tell him as tears threaten to fall from my eyes. It's been a few weeks since I've seen him, he's been with his karting team training and going to different races all over Europe.

"Hopefully you'll be able to come see a race soon now that it's summer break and you won't have school." He says with such hope that I don't want to tell him that I just got a second job for the summer, helping at one of the local restaurants while school is out and I'm not teaching.

"I sure hope so! Listen baby, I got to go. My song is playing and I'm the only one here who will appreciate it. I'll talk to you soon, I love you!" I tell him, partially because I don't want to lie to him, and partially because my song is just starting to play. He chuckles and tells me to enjoy the rest of my night and that he loves me. He also told me to send him a text when I get home. I agree and quickly hang up the phone, stuffing it into my dress once more as I walk through the door dancing along to 'It Ain't My Fault' by Brothers Osborne and singing along as I make my way to the makeshift dance floor in the center of the bar.

The people in the bar are staring, I can feel so many sets of eyes watching me. I don't blame them for staring. I'm an enigma to them, a crazy American. One who wears cowboy boots and plays country music on the jukebox in a dive bar in the middle of Italy. My whole life I've been a spectacle, so why would I stop now? It's not like I'll ever see these people again so I might as well have some fun. So I let myself pretend they aren't here, that I'm back at home in Texas, back to when I was a carefree teenager with no responsibilities. Someone who loved life and everything about it. Someone who had no worries beyond who I was going to go to the drive in movie theater with that weekend. I let myself smile, I let myself be free as I sing and dance along to the song.

My fantasy breaks when the Italian man from before approaches me again, grabbing my hips, pulling me against him so he can dance with me. This is one thing I dislike about Italy, or Europe in general. Men don't seem to care about personal space and they just do what they want. It's innocent enough but it gets old. I grab his hands from my hips and remove them with a smile, letting him down easy. He nods and takes a step back but remains dancing next to me for the remainder of the song.

Once the song ends I excuse myself to find the bathroom. I don't actually have to go, I just needed to get away from him. Stepping into the bathroom, I walk to the mirror to check my reflection. I'm not wearing much makeup, just some mascara and some blush. My mascara is a bit smudged so I fix it and then splash a little water on my neck and chest because I'm hot and sweaty from all the dancing. Grabbing a paper towel from the dispenser I wipe away the excess water and then walk myself back towards the bar. The music is back to what it was when I came in earlier, and I'm sure the locals are relieved.

When I walk up to the bar, I order another whiskey sour. As the bartender makes my drink, I turn around in my seat and lean against the bar while I people watch. My eyes scan the bar that's surprisingly packed for being in the middle of nowhere Italy. As my eyes make the rounds, they spot the man from earlier, the one who was driving the Ferrari. Again, there is something so familiar about him. I'm staring at him so intensely, trying to figure it out, that when his eyes flash to me I don't realize it until it's too late. He caught me staring and he doesn't look very happy about it. Well sh*t.

"Here you go." The bartender says behind me, and I turn around to face him giving him a thanks as I take a sip of the drink. It's delicious, probably one of the best whiskey sours I've ever had. I'm taking another sip when someone comes up to sit beside me at the bar. I turn to the side to see who it is, and it's Ferrari man. He's holding a beer and staring at me expectantly like he's waiting for me to say something even though he's the one who approached me. co*cky much? I mean he's sexy as sin, but come on dude. Just because I was staring doesn't mean I want you.

"Can I help you?" I ask with confusion and his expression looks bewildered. He co*cks his head to the side and studies me intently. I raise my eyebrows and look at him expectantly because what on earth is going on?

"I saw you staring at me." He says darkly and in that moment I realize he has a French accent. Interesting.

"So?" I ask with a laugh.

"So ask me for my autograph or a picture so we can be done with this." He says with such arrogance that I want to slap him silly. Who does this guy think he is?

"Look Henri, can I call you Henri?" I ask but continue on before he can respond. He looks perplexed and I don't blame him. I'm a fast talking Texan, he's in way over his head.

"I don't know who you are or where you get the audacity to act so arrogant, but I do not want your autograph or a photo. Now please leave me alone so I can enjoy my drink." I tell him with annoyance and then turn back to my drink.

He scoffs beside me and I can see in my peripheral that he's shocked by my response. It's quite funny actually, he's acting like he doesn't know what to do, like this is the first time something like this has happened to him. Good, hopefully this will be a lesson for him to not act like such a prick again to random people he sees in bars.

"You really have no idea who I am?" He asks incredulously and I roll my eyes before turning back to face him.

"No. I mean you look super familiar, that's why I was staring at you so intently. I was trying to figure out how I knew you." I tell him honestly even though he doesn't necessarily deserve to know the truth behind why I was staring. He laughs heartily beside me and I stare at him like he's lost his mind because I seriously think he did. He has tears coming out of his eyes he's laughing so hard. It's at that moment the bartender comes and stands in front of us.

"I'm a huge fan Charles. Will you sign this so I can hang it on my wall? Prove that you were actually here?" He asks as he slides a coaster and a pen across the bar. Charles smiles at the man and picks up the pen. I notice he has a handful of bracelets on his wrist and a few rings on his hands. I catch myself admiring his hands as he signs the coaster and then I snap out of it after I realize what I'm doing. Now that I know his first name, I feel like I should be able to maybe piece together why I recognize him. His name is Charles and he's clearly an athlete or a celebrity of some sort? Charles....Charles...Charles...he's French...Charles. Holy sh*t.

"You're Charles Leclerc!" I practically shout at him once I figure it out. He's mid conversation with the bartender who's staring at me like I'm crazy. Charles is smiling at me though like he finds me to be the most fascinating thing he's seen. I quickly grab my phone out of my dress, but then I realize what I'm doing. I can't ask for a photo with him now after what I just told him before I knew who he was. Ezra is going to be so mad at me when I tell him about this, he's never going to believe it.

"Change your mind about the photo?" Charles asks me as he notices the phone in my hand.

"No actually. I was just going to call a cab to take me home. It's getting late." I say as I pull up the number I called earlier for the cab that brought me here tonight. Before I can press the call button, Charles grabs ahold of my phone. My mouth drops open in shock. How dare he just take my phone right from my hands. Before I can stop him, he pulls up the camera app on my phone and starts snapping a few photos of himself. I try to grab my phone from him, but like my 16 year old son, he pulls it away so it's out of my reach. I huff in annoyance and I hear him chuckle. He's enjoying this little game.

"I'll let you have it back if you take one photo with me." He says, whispering in my ear which causes my body to break out in goosebumps. I push away the feeling and turn to face him, debating on whether or not I should take the photo.

"Fine. The faster I get my phone back the faster I can get out of here." I tell him glumly and he furrows his brows for some unknown reason. A moment later I lean toward him so we are shoulder to shoulder. He holds up the camera so we are both in the frame and we smile as he takes a few different ones. Finally he goes to hand me my phone but when I go to take it he holds onto it firmly. I narrow my eyes at him.

"Let me drive you home." He says with hope in his eyes. I guess it would be stupid to turn down a ride with one of the best Formula 1 drivers in the world. Especially when he's driving a Ferrari around. I simply nod my head and he releases my phone before standing up.

“Give me a minute to say goodbye to Carlos and then we can go." He tells me as I stand up as well. My mouth drops open when I hear what he says.

"Carlos Sainz is here?!" I ask excitedly as I start looking around the bar to try to find him. I hear Charles mutter under his breath, something along the lines of 'of course she knows who Carlos is, but not me". I hide my laugh behind my hand, it's so funny because he sounded so put off by that. Charles starts walking back to where I saw him earlier when I got caught staring and sure as sh*t I see Carlos looking at the two of us with intrigue.

"I'll meet you outside." I tell Charles before I follow him over to Carlos. Charles furrows his brow but nods. He clearly doesn't understand why I don't want to follow him. But I don't want to invade Carlos' privacy by approaching him. I shouldn't even be accepting this ride from Charles either.

As I step outside I realize how dumb of an idea it is to have Charles drive me home. There's no way I can allow it. A man like him should not be seen with a woman like me. Before he comes out, I run around to the other side of the bar and start walking further into town. I duck into a deserted alleyway and call the cab company. Five minutes later I see the cab and hop in giving them my address and ignore the bar as we pass, not wanting to see if the Ferrari is still parked in the parking lot or not.

Chapter 2: Location

Chapter Text

It's been three days since the night at the bar. Three days since I met Charles Leclerc. Three days I've spent thinking about him non stop which was not apart of the plan. I'm not sure why I am obsessing over him, I purposely tried to avoid looking him up on social media but failed miserably. There's just something about him that intrigues me about him, maybe it's because my kid loves him and idolizes him. Or maybe it's those piercing green eyes that are filled with such sadness, the same sadness that is behind mine. The kind of sadness it seems like we both try to hide.

I'm obsessing over him but I'm likely to never see him again. At least not for awhile. I might in 2-3 years when Ezra is hopefully in Formula 1. I'm sure he'll still be driving then, I think he's still pretty young. Which is another reason my obsession needs to stop. Even if he was interested in me, I'm too old for him and once he found out I have a kid he'd be running for the hills.

Speaking of my kid, he just walked through the door of our tiny one bedroom apartment. I swear he's grown since I've seen him last and as I pull him into my arms and hug him tightly I realize that he has grown, he's at least 3 inches taller than my 5'9" and it makes me emotional. My baby isn't much of baby anymore.

"Mama, you're making it hard for me to breathe." He laughs as he tries to disentangle himself from me. I squeeze my arms tightly one last time and finally let him go. I'm getting my hugs in while I can because I'm sure they will be stopping soon enough because teenagers will be teenagers when it comes to their parents.

"Shut it Ez. I haven't seen you in three weeks, let your Mama love on you." I tell him with mock annoyance to which he rolls his eyes but secretly I know he loves my hugs and I hope that he always will, but like I said...teenager. So I'm getting them in as much as I can now. Especially because I've missed so much of his youth by being stuck in Texas while he's been out here for the last 5 years. I watch as he walks into our tiny kitchen and opens the refrigerator looking for something to eat. The last two days I've been busy cooking all of his favorites so I was ready for when he got home. My boy can eat and I wanted to make sure he was well fed while he's here for the next three weeks before he leaves again on another stent of races.

"You're the best Mama!" He exclaims as he pulls out the Mississippi roast meat and grabs the bag of rolls I bought at the local bakery. He sits at the small table we have off the kitchen and starts digging in. I smile as I watch him but then my thoughts wonder back to the time I was sitting at my own dining table in my parents house sitting them down to tell them I was pregnant. Let's just say it did not go well, with it ending with them disowning me and kicking me out of their house because I said I wanted to keep the baby. I had only just turned 14 a few weeks prior to finding out. From that day forward it was just me and Ezra. It's been the hardest 16 years but watching him in front of me, I realize that it was completely and utterly worth it.

"So I have some good news!" Ezra says excitedly and I snap out of my thoughts.

"Oh yeah? You gonna tell me then?" I say sarcastically.

"I was invited to visit the Ferrari Academy in Maranello!" He answers excitedly and my heart lurches in my chest. My baby's dreams are starting to come true and I can't be anymore happy for him.

"No way, that is so amazing baby! When do you go?"

"This Friday. They invited us for the day." He tells me as he takes a bite of one of his sandwiches.

"Oh, did they invite your teammates too?" I ask, slightly worried that this isn't what I think it means. That it's just a team bonding experience or something. He shakes his head and swallows his food before answering.

"No, just me. They invited me and you." My stomach drops at this, I'm meant to start my new job at the restaurant this weekend.

"What's wrong?" Ezra asks me noticing the change in my demeanor and I curse silently to myself. I was hoping I'd be able to break the news of my second job to him under better circ*mstances than this.

"I haven't had a chance to tell you yet, but I got a second job for over the summer at a restaurant down the street. I'm supposed to start this weekend." I tell him as I watch his face closely. He immediately looks disappointed but tries to hide it by taking another bite of his sandwich but I saw it. My biggest fear in life is disappointing him, and I've done it so many times over the last 16 years. Once I moved to Italy to be near him, I thought I would be done disappointing him.

"Oh. Okay, I guess I can drive myself. I'd have to borrow your car..." He trails off, looking away from me, trying to hide his glistening eyes from me and my heart breaks.

"No. I am going with you. I'll figure everything out. I promise baby, this is too important for me to miss." I tell him as I rush over to him and wrap my arms around him, hugging him tightly.

He brightens up again after that and we spend the rest of the evening talking about the past three weeks. My heart is full by the time he goes to his room and gets ready for bed. I clean up the plates and food that are still out and tidy up around the kitchen area. Once that's complete I head to get my bed ready so I can go to sleep. Since I can only afford a one bedroom apartment, I let Ezra have the bedroom while I use the pull out couch I have as my bed. I'm removing the cushions from the couch when Ezra walks out of his room.

"Will you lay with me until I fall asleep?" He asks softly and if my Mama heart doesn't just expand. He may be a teenager but he's still my little boy and I will do anything for him.

"Of course baby. I'll be there in a minute." I tell him and I watch as he walks back to his room, trying to gain control of my emotions. Before heading into his room I make sure the door and windows are locked and then head into his room. He has a queen size bed in the center of the room, a desk on the other side that holds his computer and a modified racing simulator. His closet is overflowing with clothes and shoes and every inch of his walls are covered with photos, posters and racing memorabilia like trophies and awards. There's even a poster of Charles that I try to avoid looking at but as I climb into his bed and cuddle up against him, my eyes find it on their own volition. I stare at that damn poster until Ezra's breathing evens out and he's fast asleep. As I walk out of Ezra's room, I laugh to myself for not recognizing Charles in the bar when my kid has had that poster up on his wall for the past 6 months.

Two days later we are packing our suitcases into the trunk of my 1970 Fiat 128. Ezra hates it but I was limited in funds when I moved to Italy, basically spending my life savings to be able to afford the move from Texas so this was what I ended up with. I actually really love it. It's this pretty teal color that I feel like matches my personality perfectly and it's reliable enough for being an old car. The only thing I don't like about it is the lack of ways to listen to music. I've gotten into the habit of bringing a Bluetooth speaker so I can play music from my phone. As we climb into the car I hand Ezra the speaker and he rolls his eyes in annoyance. He's been quite the typical teenager this morning and it's getting on my nerves.

“Stop rolling your eyes and put some damn music on. We have an hour drive and I'm not going to be making it without music especially if you keep acting this way." I say as I stick the key into the ignition and start the car up. As I pull away Ezra connects his phone to the speaker and puts on Khalid. We don't talk for awhile as we start our drive to Maranello. I'm silently singing along to 'Location' when Ezra turns to me. I glance at him and he has a small smile on his face and it looks like he wants to say something.

"I can't wait until I'm in Formula 1 so I can buy you the car that you deserve." He tells me and I'm so taken aback by that statement that I have to look away from him. My eyes glisten and I try to keep it together as I try to figure out how to respond.

"Oh baby, that's so sweet but once you make it to Formula 1, that money will be all yours and I won't be letting you spend a single penny on me." I tell him as I swipe at a stray tear that escaped my eye and focus on the road in front of me. In my peripherals I see him shake his head like he wants to argue but then decides to not to. I'm thankful he dropped it because I don't want to argue with him about money, especially because it's not important at this point in time.

For the rest of the ride to Maranello we don't talk. I can tell Ezra is nervous and when he gets like that the best course of action is to just let him work through it himself. I'm nervous too, but probably not for the same reason as him. No, I'm nervous because I know he'll be invited to join the academy and I'm going to have to figure out how I'm going to afford it because I know it's expensive. We've been lucky that Ezra has gotten sponsors to help him the last 10 years and I know they will continue supporting him but they never cover the whole cost. I'm already stressed enough about trying to get the funds for Formula 3 especially when the restaurant I got hired on at fired me for not being able to start work this weekend.

I'm stressing up until the point I'm parking the car in the Ferrari Academy's parking lot. As I pull into the parking spot I can't help but cringe as I look at the cars surrounding us. I feel bad for Ezra having to pull up here in an old Fiat while all around us are $300,000+ cars. I'm admiring a Ferrari 488 Pista as we walk to the front of the headquarters building and Ezra grabs my attention when I hear him say that car belongs to Charles Leclerc. My brain short circuits at that statement, because why would he be here? Ezra must be able to read my mind because he continues...

"His brother Arthur is one of the current academy drivers. I didn't think Charles would be here though, holy sh*t. I might get to meet Charles Leclerc!" He rambles and my stomach drops. How could this be happening right now? I'm nervous for a completely different reason now as we walk through the front doors. I never told Ezra about meeting Charles the other day and if we run into him I'm screwed. The receptionist sitting at the welcome desk looks up at us expectantly with a bright smile as we approach her.

"Good Afternoon, you must be Ezra Kincaid." She says and I smile brightly, happy that they don't need to ask who we are, that they already know who he is. Ezra nods, his cheeks turning pink in embarrassment and I can't help but smile at him adorably. Sometimes he's so innocent. The receptionist turns to me then and gives me a knowing smile.

"Are you Mr. Kincaid's sister?" She asks brightly and I can't help the laugh that escapes me. She furrows her brow at my reaction.

"Sorry, it's not funny, we just get that often. No, I'm his mother, Lydia Kincaid." I tell her and I watch as her eyes grow wide in shock.

"Wow, you do not look old enough to have a 15 year old." She says as her eyes move between Ezra and me. I smile but don't respond to her comment. It's none of her business about how I can have an almost 16 year old. After a few awkward moments of silence she snaps into work mode again and informs us she will let the academy director know that we are here. We get directed to a seating area while we wait. Ezra gives me a knowing stare and I roll my eyes at him.

He thinks its funny when people think I'm his sister and not his mother but I get tired of it quickly. Especially when people ask me if I'm sure. 'Yes Larry, I'm sure. I vividly remember pushing him out of my vagin*. Thanks!' It's tiresome at best and aggravating at worst. Don't get me wrong, I know I don't look like I'm old enough to be his mother, I mean I did have him when I was 14, but it's also because I don't look 30 either. At most I look 25. I guess that's one thing I can thank my awful parents for, good genes.

A few minutes after we sit down an older gentleman approaches us. He looks to be in his late 40's and he's very handsome. It seems like Italy is full of beautiful men. Ezra and I stand to introduce ourselves to the man who introduces himself as Mario. As I shake his hand I see his eyes linger on me just a few seconds too long. Ezra notices too because as we follow Mario he whispers in my ear.

"How much do you want to bet that he'll ask you out on a date before the end of the tour?" I roll my eyes at him and pretend like I don't know what he's talking about.

"So, is there a Mr. Kincaid?" Mario asks a moment later and Ezra turns to me with a knowing look, I pinch him in his side as I respond to Mario.

"No. I'm a single mother." I answer and I see a glint in Mario's eye. Ezra is right, he'll be asking me out on a date by the end of the day. I groan internally and pray that he won't but by the time we finish the tour he's starting to ask about our plans for dinner this evening. I'm trying to figure out a way to get around him asking me what I know he wants to ask when I hear voices coming towards us and it sounds like they are speaking French. My body breaks out in butterflies as my brain immediately wonders if it's Charles, then I curse myself for being excited at the prospect it might be him.

Mario, Ezra and I turn towards the voices and sure enough Charles and I'm assuming his brother Arthur are walking towards us. They stop talking when they see us, and I see the moment of recognition in Charles gaze as he sees me standing there. His eyebrows furrow for a moment before he comes to stand in front of me.

"Are you stalking me?" He asks with a smirk and my mouth drops opens slightly in shock by his statement. That's what he decides to say right now?

"You wish." I whisper and I can't believe I just said that. What is wrong with me? Why am I flirting? I can feel Ezra's penetrating gaze on me as he looks between Charles and me. He's going to be so angry with me since I never told him I met Charles.

"I do, mon soleil." He whispers back and my stomach dips as I hear the French words fall from his tongue.

"What does that mean?" I ask wistfully but he just smirks. I hear Arthur laugh under his breath and I furrow my brows wondering if he said something bad. Before I can pressure him more about what he said Ezra makes himself known.

"Mama? Care to introduce me to your friend?" He asks me sarcastically and I snap out of whatever trance Charles had me under and take a step away from him and turn to Ezra who is staring daggers at me.

"Mama?" Charles asks in shock and I cringe because he almost sounds betrayed. I turn back to him to him while grabbing Ezra's arm and pulling him to stand next to me.

"Charles, I would like you to meet my son Ezra. He'll be starting Formula 3 next season and hopefully will be joining the academy soon." I tell him as he stares between Ezra and I trying to figure out how I could possibly be a mother. Ezra has his hand sticking out waiting for a handshake. I give Charles a pointed look when he looks at me again and he snaps out of whatever thoughts he had and grabs Ezra's hand and giving it a firm shake.

"It's an honor meeting you. I'm a huge fan. I'm a huge fan of the both of you." Ezra says, looking between Charles and Arthur. When his handshake with Charles is over he goes to Arthur and grabs his hand to shake too. Arthur, bless his heart asks Ezra if he would want to go see the training track they have on site which Ezra agrees to readily. I watch as he walks away with Arthur and I can't help but smile. My babies dreams are coming true and I can't be happier.

"Lydia, may I escort you to our hospitality room for some coffee and pastries?" Mario asks interrupting my thoughts. I see Charles' head whip towards Mario and glare. What's that about?

"That's very nice of you Mario, but I think I am going to follow after Ezra and take a look at the track as well." I say and before he can respond I hear Charles say that he will escort me, affectively letting Mario know he's no longer needed. I can't believe Charles just did that to the director of the academy but I suppose he's important enough to Ferrari that he can do anything he pleases.

Chapter 3: Feels Like

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"So, Ezra?" Charles asks as we start walking to the track.

"Just ask me what you want to know Charles." I tell him with a sigh because there's no point in not answering his questions. He would probably find out one way or another.

"How old are you?" He asks first and I bite my lip to prevent myself from laughing. I don't know what I was expecting him to ask first but it wasn't that.

"I turned 30 in February." I tell him and watch him closely, seeing how he reacts. His eyes widen in surprise but I'm not sure why.

"And Ezra?"

"He'll be 16 in December."

"So you were only 14 when you had him?" He asks with interest and not with judgement, for which I am thankful. I tend to get judged pretty harshly when people find out that I was a teen mom.

"Yep, funny thing is I conceived him the day I turned 14 and it was my first time even having sex." I laugh because it's honestly absurd. Who gets pregnant the first time they have sex? We even used a condom, which is the ironic part. For a long time I cursed myself, thinking I must have done something horrible in a past life to deserve this life, but then I realized that Ezra is the best thing to ever happen to me. Sure, I lost pretty much everything at the time, but I've gained so much more than I could have ever imagined. It's been an extremely difficult life that I don't wish upon anyone but I would do it over and over again if it meant I got Ezra.

"That's....wow, Lydia. That's a lot. Is his father around?" He asks with curiosity and I try to ignore the way he said my name. It was the first time he's said it.

"He bailed the second I told him I was pregnant. Everyone bailed on me. My friends, my family..." I trail off, stopping to look at a large mural painted in the walkway we're in. I realize after a moment that it's of Charles' Formula 1 car, I can tell by the number 16 displayed proudly on the side. I smile as this moment turns surreal. Never in a million years did I think I would be in the Ferrari Academy headquarters building, with the number one Ferrari driver next to me asking me questions about my life.

Charles isn't looking at the mural with me though, he's looking at me. I turn my gaze to the side and see sadness in his eyes and a moment later his arms are around me and he's hugging me tight. For a moment I stand frozen, not really sure what to do. Ezra's the only one who's hugged me this way for the past 15 years. It takes me a second to relax but when I do, I wrap my arms around Charles and he squeezes me tighter against him. He holds me for what feels like hours, but it's merely only seconds before he releases me.

"What was that for?" I ask curiously.

"I don't know, it just seemed like you could use a hug." He replies and I have to turn away from him, because he doesn't know how true that statement is. I'm starved for physical touch. Don't get me wrong I've had my fair share of hooks up and the occasional boyfriend but once guys find out I have a kid, they go running like I told them I have a STD or something. All of the guys I have hooked up with were never serious either, they never made my pulse quicken, they never made me feel safe. I try to ignore when my brain tells me I feel those things with Charles.

"So what about you? What's your sob story?" I ask as a joke, trying to make the mood less tense than it has been but when I look over at Charles I realize that I'm not the only one who has had a tough life. His eyes look so sad as he looks at me, and I immediately regret my statement.

"sh*t, forget I said that. You don't have to tell me anything about you." I say quickly, trying to backpedal because I feel awful. He smiles sadly and before he can reply I change the subject.

"Let's talk about something easy. Whose your favorite band or singer?" I ask and I grab his hand to follow me as we continue our way to the track. Once I know he's following along, I drop his hand and I swear I felt him try to stop me but no, that's just my brain playing tricks on me. A moment later he tells me his favorite band is Coldplay which somewhat shocks me.

For some reason I was expecting him to say a DJ or a rapper but I guess that's just a stereotype that I bought into. He asks me the same question and I reply that I don't really have just one but the person I'm listening to the most lately is Gracie Abrams. When I look at him I can tell he doesn't know who she is so I pull my phone out of my purse and open up Spotify. I see Charles step closer to look at what I'm doing and I can't help but feel a little nervous for him to see my playlists. It's so silly but music is very personal to me.

It was easy to find the playlist I am looking for because it's the first one listed. I listen to it the most, it's called 'Oh How I Love Being A Woman'. I choose the song called 'Feels Like' and press play. I turn to watch Charles' face as he listens. For some reason I hope that he likes it just as much as I do, which is strange. Who cares if he likes it or not. His face shows nothing and I get self cautious so I look down at my phone and go to turn the music off but he stops me. He takes my phone from me then, but blocks me from seeing what's he doing. I watch him as he smiles wickedly at whatever he's doing. After a few moments he hands me my phone back but it's back on the playlist. I furrow my brows as I stare down at my phone questioningly.

"What did you do?" I ask looking back at him to see his gaze on mine.

"I'm not telling you. You'll just have to figure it out." He smirks, and god does he look sexy.

We're staring at each other, and I feel like Charles is getting closer and closer but that has to be my imagination. We're so distracted by each other that we don't see Ezra and Arthur walk up until they are standing right beside us. Ezra clears his throat and I shake my head free of whatever Charles just did to me...yet again. I turn to look at Ezra who is staring at me like he's never seen me before.

"How was the track walk?" I ask with a bright smile, ignoring his glare.

“It was amazing! I hope I'll be able to drive here one day." He says, his glare turning to a look of wonderment.

"It will happen baby. I promise." I reply, pulling him into my arms and giving him a tight hug because I'm just so proud of him and I will make this happen for him if it's the last thing I'll do. When I let go of him, I decide that it's time for us to leave. I have to get away from Charles and the way he's making me feel right now.

"We should get going, we have an hour drive back home and we need to make dinner." I announce and turn to Charles and Arthur.

"It was good seeing you again Charles and it was nice meeting you Arthur. Thank you for spending some time with Ezra."

I start dragging Ezra's hand towards the exit and he's trying to stop me, muttering something under his breath that I am ignoring. I'm sure I look crazy walking away so quickly, trying to make a fast exit but I literally don't know how to act around Charles. When we make it outside, I take a deep breath and I Ezra finally is able to evade my grip on him.

"Mama, will you stop for a second?" He asks and I stop immediately because of his tone.

"Arthur invited me to go karting tomorrow morning at a local track. Do you think I could do that?" He asks looking at me with puppy dog eyes.

"What time?" I ask hoping that it's not early in the morning.

"8am. But I was thinking we could just rent a hotel room for the night so then we don't have to wake up super early to get here." He replies and my stomach drops. Money is so tight and I don't have much spending money, basically none for fun stuff but Ezra looks so hopeful and karting with a Leclerc is too good to pass up.

"Okay, that's fine." I say as I pull my phone out to start searching for a nearby hotel. As I am pulling up google I hear the door behind me open.

"Arthur, she said that I can go karting with you tomorrow morning!" Ezra says excitedly, and I curse silently as I realize Charles and Arthur are the ones who walked out. I shouldn't be surprised though, just my luck.

"That is awesome. Are you guys staying in Maranello? We should get dinner together." Arthur says and I cringe internally trying to calculate how much money that will cost me because I can't say no.

"My mama is looking for a hotel room now and dinner sounds great!" Ezra responds brightly and I look down at my phone to hide my reaction. I try to remind myself that he doesn't know the extent of the stress money brings me. Of course he knows I stress about it but he doesn't know that I'm paying the difference that the sponsors aren't paying. He thinks that they cover everything so he doesn't know I scrap by pay check to pay check and sometimes don't eat more than one meal a day to save money. In google I search 'budget motels in Maranello and click on the top result. The cheapest room is around $100 per night before fees and I want to cry.

“Why don't you two stay in my hotel room? I can stay with Arthur for the night at his place." Charles says and my head whips up to see he's looking at me intently.

"Thank you, but it's okay. I just found one I can book." I say, because I will not take charity from him. His brows furrow at my response and I look back down at my phone to avoid his judgement. I can feel his gaze still on me and I force myself not to look up at him even though I want to.

"I insist. Or if you don't want my room, let me book a room for you since Arthur is the one who invited Ezra to stay." He says and I want to punch him. He probably thinks he's being nice but to me it feels like a handout and I hate that.

"How about Ezra stays with me tonight and you two can share the hotel room. There's two beds, right Charles?" Arthur suggests and I want to punch him as well.

"That sounds perfect!" Ezra adds and now I want to punch him as well.

All three of them stare at me expectantly as I try to talk myself out of punching them all for pissing me off. I look around at each of them, every one of them smiling at me brightly like they've won, like their idea is the best idea ever and I hate it.

"How about you stay with Arthur and I go home for the night. Then tomorrow afternoon I can come back and pick you up when you're done karting." I tell Ezra with my own smile and I watch as his face falls slightly. I turn to Charles and Arthur who now are no longer smiling, which makes me smile more broadly.

"But Mama, that makes no sense. Think of all the gas you'll waste going back and forth. You might as well stay here." Ezra says and I curse silently to myself because what the hell kid? You're supposed to be on my side.

"I have good gas mileage in my car, it's fine." I say and Ezra scoffs loudly. I narrow my gaze at him and he laughs.

“Your piece of sh*t car gets the worst gas mileage I've ever seen."

"Hey! Watch your mouth. And stop dissing my car, she's a classic and I love her. Maybe more than I love you at the moment." I tell him and he laughs even harder. All three of them do. Having enough of them, I start walking away, heading to said piece of sh*t car. I cringe as I pass Charles' car and go to open the door of mine. Turning around so I can yell at Ezra to call me in the morning, I see that all three of them followed me and are standing only a few feet away from me. Charles is staring at my car like it's a bug he'd like to smash with his shoe. Arthur is laughing at something Ezra mumbles under his breathe and I officially want to die.

"Alright, I'm leaving. Ez, call me in the morning. Please be safe, and don't make dumb choices like getting 14 year old girls pregnant, okay?" I say as I climb into the car. Arthur laughs hard at my statement while Ezra now looks like he wants to die. Charles is still staring at my car not even acknowledging what I said.

"Jeez Mama. I'm not like the douchebag who knocked you up even though I have his DNA. You don't need to remind me that every time you say goodbye to me." Ezra tells me and I laugh heartily as I start my car up and look back at the three of them standing beside it. Charles is now looking at me and no longer at my car, but worry is clearly etched across his face.

"I won't stop reminding you until you're married baby. Now be good, I love you. Charles...Arthur, make sure he doesn't die please." I say, looking at them pointedly. Then I close the door to my car and connect my phone to the Bluetooth speaker, pressing play on the playlist I showed Charles earlier. I'm about to pull out of the parking space when I hear a tap on my window. I look to see Charles standing there, his head leaning down looking into the car. I crank my window down and look at him expectantly.

"Is this car safe? When was the last time you had it serviced?" He asks, practically sticking his whole head into my window to take a look around.

"It's safe. And I haven't had it serviced since I bought it." I mumble the second half of that sentence and Charles' eyes found mine and he looks like he's about to pass out. I roll my eyes because he's being so dramatic. Annoyed with him, I push his head out of the window so I can back up. Before he can stop me I put my car in reverse and back out of the spot. Right before I'm about to pull forward to leave the parking lot Charles tells me to text Ezra when I get home so they know I got home safe. I give him a thumbs up as I drive away, ignoring the butterflies that flutter in my stomach at his request.

Chapter 4: Fast Car

Chapter Text

It's been two weeks since Ezra and I went to Maranello. The day after we toured the Ferrari Academy and when Ezra got to spend time with the Leclerc brothers, he was beaming when I picked him up. He would not stop talking the whole way home, talking about how great the brothers are, how Charles spent so much time helping him out and telling him stories of his karting days. Everything he told me about Charles has forced it's way into my brain. I only saw Charles in passing when I picked Ezra up, and I've come to the resolution that I won't be seeing him again. At least not for awhile. Ezra and I are currently lounging on the couch, watching Yellowstone. Scratch that, I'm watching Yellowstone while he's on his phone, texting god knows who. I kick him lightly with my foot to get his attention, to which he looks up with a silly smile on his face.

"Who are you texting? A girl?" I ask, lifting my eyebrows up and down with insinuation. He laughs and shakes his head.

"No, I'm in a group text with Arthur and Charles." He responds and my body immediately reacts when I hear Charles' name which is a major problem. I make a noncommittal noise and turn back to the tv screen, but I don't see a thing. My focus is shot, and now I'm thinking about Charles and what he's been doing the past two weeks. I know he had a race last weekend in Montreal and he ended up finishing in P2.

"Mama, Charles wants to know if you've been listening to any new Spotify playlists lately...?" Ez asks and I furrow my brows because that's an odd question to ask but then I remember Charles took my phone when I showed him that Gracie Abrams song. I grab my phone beside me and open up Spotify, going to my playlists and right there on top is a new playlist titled 'le soileil et la lune'. When I open it, I notice that there is a collaborator, which ends up being Charles. There's currently only one song on it... 'Adventure of a Lifetime' by Coldplay. Is he trying to tell me something or did he only add it because it's maybe his favorite Coldplay song? Does he want me to add songs? I decide that he wouldn't have made it a collaborative playlist if he didn't want me to add songs. For a few minutes I think of what song to add when I decide on 'Fast Car' by Luke Combs.

"Mama, now Charles wants to know if he can have your number?" Ezra asks me a few minutes later and I hate how excited that makes me. I try to act cool but fail miserably when my face lights up with a smile.

"Sure." I try to reply with ease but in the inside I'm freaking out. Ezra rolls his eyes at me but in my peripheral I can see that he's smiling when he goes back to his phone.

A few minutes later my phone vibrates next to me and I try not to rush to grab it but fail miserably. I quickly open up the new text message and read it quickly. I'm practically convulsing as I read what it says and Ezra is looking at me like I'm crazy.

"Please don't tell him you just saw me do that." I beg and he promises me he won't even though I don't believe him.

Unknown: Go on a date with me.

Me: Who is this?

Unknown: You know who.

Me: Arthur?

Unknown: Wrong brother.

Me: Lorenzo?

Unknown: Try again.

Me: Henri?

Unknown: Lydia...

Me: Are you sure you want to go out on a date with me?

Unknown: Of course I'm sure. Why wouldn't I be?

Me: 1. I have a kid. 2. I'm what, five years older than you?

Unknown: 1. He's closer to an adult than a kid. Plus I love kids. 2. Five years isn't that much. If roles were reversed you wouldn't have an issue.

Me: You make good points...

Me: Fine. When?

Charles: Tomorrow. I'll pick you up at 7.

Me: What should I wear?

Charles: Keep it casual and comfortable.

Me: Okay, see you tomorrow.

Charles: Goodnight mon soleil.

Me: Goodnight Henri.

I have the biggest smile on my face when I set my phone down after that conversation. I'm giddy and I wish I had someone to talk about it with. I don't have any close friends, haven't since my childhood. After everyone dropped me when I got pregnant I lost my faith in people and have guarded my heart closely ever since. I don't normally let people in easy, that's why I'm shocked that I have already been so open with Charles and how easily I agreed to go out with him.

There's just something about him...and even if this ends with me getting hurt I know I'll be okay as long as I have Ezra. I've been through hell and back, I can survive anything.

After Ezra goes to bed, I'll tidying up the living room and kitchen before getting ready for bed. As I'm wiping down the kitchen counter I hear my phone beep with a notification. I pull it out of my back pocket and see that it's a notification from Spotify, notifying me that C.Laclerc added a new song to our playlist. Opening up Spotify I check out the playlist to see which song he added. It's 'Je te laisserai des mots' by Patrick Watson.

For the rest of the evening I spend translating the lyrics and I also realize that in his texts he called me the same thing he called me that day in Maranello. When I translate it, I find out the translation is my sun or my sunshine. I go to bed with a smile on my face. My thoughts are of Charles. I find myself excited for our date but also extremely nervous and scared. I can't help but wonder if he's feeling the same things as me?

The next morning I wake up anxious and it doesn't get any better throughout the day. I spend my time alternating between stress cleaning the apartment and job searching on my phone. So far I haven't found anything promising on the job front, and I'm trying not to worry but it's definitely adding to my stress. Ezra has luckily been gone all day long, training and prepping for his Formula 3 debut next year. He comes home around 5pm and takes one look at me and heads straight to his room, not bothering to even try to talk to me. I don't take offense because I know I look on the verge of a breakdown. I decide that I should probably start getting ready so I don't have to stress about being ready on time.

I jump into the shower and make sure that I have exfoliated, shaved and washed my hair before getting out. When I get out I moisturize, brush my hair, blow dry it until it's almost dry and then braid it. Wrapping a robe around me I head back to the living room, grabbing my makeup bag that's in the linen closet in the hallway and setting everything up on the small dining table. I don't have much makeup because I usually don't wear much. That's one good thing my parents did, they gave me good genes. My skin is smooth and acne free, and I have dark long eyelashes that most people would kill for, so I don't have to do much in terms of makeup to which I'm thankful for because I can't afford to buy much makeup. For the next ten minutes I add some concealer under my eyes, some bronzer and some blush and mascara. I also decide to put some brown liner along my lash line and smoke it out to make my eyes pop a little more than they normally would. To finish off the look I add some gloss to my lips and call it a day.

When I look at my phone at the time I see that it's already 6:30pm so I walk to the coat closet next to the front door. I use it at my closet since Ezra uses the one in his room, besides I don't have too many clothes. All of my clothes are from thrift stores and there's even still a few items that I have had since I was in high school. Charles said to dress casual and comfortable so I end up grabbing a pair of high waisted jean shorts and a taupe colored ribbed spaghetti strap top. I add my cowboy boots and the one necklace I own - a dainty gold chain with a star burst charm on it that Ezra gave me for Mother's Day. After I'm dressed I take my braid out of my hair so now it's down and wavy.

"Hey Ez, what do you think? Do you think it's okay?" I ask as I step in his open doorway. He looks up from his phone and furrows his brows. Oh no, that's not a good sign.

"You look good, but shouldn't you dress up a bit more?" He ask.

"Charles told me casual and comfortable." I argue.

"What about that yellow dress with the white flowers?"

"I was wearing that the night I met Charles at the bar." I tell him and he frowns. The next thing I know he's getting off his bed and walking past me, heading to the closet to look through my clothes. After a few moments he pulls out a dress that I forgot I even still had. It's probably the most expensive piece of clothing I have and I've never worn it. It's a crimson red slip dress that I found in a thrift store in Austin. It's a mini dress with a cowl neckline and absolutely beautiful.

"You don't think this is too fancy?" I ask, taking it from his outstretched hands.

"No, not if you wear the boots with it." He tells me, so I head to the bathroom to change.

When I come back out from the bathroom, I walk into the living room to find Ezra standing with Charles. They turn towards me when they hear me coming and my eyes immediately find Charles'. I give him a tentative smile, suddenly feeling a little shy for some reason. Probably because a multi-millionaire is in my crappy one bedroom apartment or maybe it's because of the way he's looking at me. I watch as his eyes roam over me, lingering on my legs and I wonder what he's thinking. When his eyes find mine again, they are intense and my stomach flips thinking about what the look could mean.

"Hey, I'm almost ready. I just need to grab my purse." I answer, because one of us needs to say something so we stop staring at each other.

"Take your time, I'm a little early." Charles responds with an adorable smile, his dimples on full display and holy sh*t, they are hot. I'm temporarily distracted by them, and forget that I'm supposed to be getting my purse. Luckily Ezra distracts Charles by asking if he wants to see his room. As they walk past me towards the bedroom, Charles' hand grazes my thigh as he walks by and my body immediately responds by getting the chills. I bite my lip to avoid embarrassing myself by moaning and I see Charles smirk as he follows Ezra into his room.

While Ezra is showing off his room, I head to the kitchen to grab my purse. It doesn't really go with my outfit but it's the only purse I have. I make sure I have my wallet, phone and keys before going to find the boys. When I step into the doorway of Ezra's room, I find Ezra talking Charles' ear off about his practice session today as Charles is looking at the bulletin board of photos Ezra has on his wall. It's a collage of past teammates of his, some of me and him through the years, and one of me 9 months pregnant about to give birth.

I know that's the one Charles' is looking at based on his reaction when he notices me in the doorway. The look in his eyes tells me enough, the realization of how young I truly was when I became a mother. It's different hearing it and then seeing it, and I can tell he feels sorry for everything I had to go through. I smile sadly at him as memories come flooding back of me giving birth alone, going home with my new baby alone...having no one helping me.

"Oh dude! Do you think you can sign my poster?" I hear Ezra say excitedly, causing me to snap out of my thoughts. Charles is still staring at me when he registers what Ezra asked and he shakes his head a little and smiles, turning towards Ez.

"Of course." He replies as he takes the pen that Ezra went and collected for him from his desk. Charles walks over to the poster of himself and signs his name. Ezra can barely contain his excitement and it makes me smile. Charles turns to look at me again and gives me a wink. Ugh, he's going to be the death of me. How is he so attractive? It's honestly not fair.

"Should we get going?" I ask with a smile and Charles quickly says yes then turns to Ezra and hands him the pen.

"I'll be back later baby. If you end up going anywhere, please send me a quick text to let me know. And please be safe. I love you." I tell Ezra, walking into his room to give him a tight hug and a kiss on the cheek. Partially to embarrass him in front of Charles and partially because I want to get as many hugs as I possibly can since I missed out on so many for the past 5 years of his life.

"I'm staying in tonight. Arthur and I are going to stream while we play Call of Duty." He says and I smile brightly, happy that him and Arthur seem to be getting so close.

"Have fun, and tell Arthur hi for me." I tell him as I walk over to Charles and grab his hand. As I'm lead him out of Ezra's room, he says a goodbye to Ez.

"Have fun you two! Please try not to get pregnant Mama!" Ezra says as we're almost out of his room. I stop in my tracks and whip my head towards him in shock at what he just said. Charles is trying to control his laughter and Ezra looks scared but on the verge of exploding in laughter, he's just waiting for my reaction. I can't even be mad at his statement because I always tell him not to get anyone pregnant, and it was freaking funny but I can't let him know that I think it was funny. Instead of laughing, I just turn back around and head to the front door, leaving Charles and Ezra in my wake.

Opening the front door, I walk out of my apartment, pretending to be mad and behind me I hear Ezra frantically telling Charles that it was just a joke and didn't mean to piss me off. I hear Charles tell Ezra that it's alright, and that he'll talk to me...that everything will be okay. A moment later I hear my apartment door shut and Charles comes up beside me and tentatively grabs my hand, leading me to his Ferrari 488 Pista.

It's not until I'm sitting in his car that I start laughing hysterically over what Ezra said. When Charles climbs in and sees me laughing, he shakes his head in mock disgust at my behavior and tells me I'm evil and that Ezra was really upset that he thought I was angry with him, which makes me laugh even harder. I'm laughing so hard that I don't realize that Charles is taking a video of me and sending it to Ezra.

"Ezra agrees, you're an evil woman." Charles tells me with a laugh, showing me his phone screen of the video he sent Ezra and his response. My laughter dies down a little as I take his phone and watch the video. In the middle of watching it, a text notification pops up on his phone from someone named Charlotte. I know from my internet stalking of him that he had an ex named Charlotte. Is it her? It was in French so I don't know what it said, but Charles grabbed his phone from me after it popped up and slides it into his pocket. I try not to read too much into that, but I can't help but feel that was a little weird and suspicious.

"You ready to go?" He asks, looking over at me with a grin and I nod. A few moments later he's peeling out of my apartment parking lot and we're off officially starting our date.

Chapter 5: Say Yes To Heaven

Chapter Text

I'm admiring Charles' car when we make our way to the heart of Parma. He is focusing on the road and seems almost distracted while I ask him about his day. His response was a generic answer so I decide to sit quietly as we drive to wherever we're going. I'm not sure what happened in the last few minutes, the only thing I can think of is the text message from Charlotte. I know they broke up over a year ago, at least based on social media. He's actually had another girlfriend after her but they didn't date for very long, at least not as long as he and Charlotte did.

Eventually we pull up to a part of town that I've never wandered to because it's too high end for me and I didn't want to tempt myself by the stores and restaurants. He finds a parking space and immediately people flock towards him and the car, taking photos and asking for autographs. He obliges while I stand away from the crowd and watch him interact with his fans. He's very gracious and acknowledges everyone around him. After a few minutes he finds me in the spot I've been waiting with an apologetic expression on his face. I give him a smile hopefully indicating to him that I don't mind.

"Ready?" He asks as he starts walking toward a center square where booths are set up. When we approach the area I realize that it's a farmers market. I immediately smile brightly as I take in all the booths and I excitedly skip over to one that's giving away free samples of Parmesan cheese and ham. Charles follows me with a laugh, his dimples out on full display. As I take the samples and put them in my mouth, I'm immediately moaning in satisfaction with how delicious it is. I turn to see Charles looking at me, with his sample hovering near his mouth, his eyes are dark and smoldering.

"You okay?" I ask with a smirk and he shakes his head with a slight chuckle as he eats his own sample. He must not think it's as good as I did because he doesn't seem as taken with it as I was. To my surprise he talks to the booth attendant in Italian. I have no idea what he said but I watch as the attendant starts wrapping up cheese and ham and puts it in a bag for Charles who hands him money. Charles looks at me when he takes the bag and asks me if I want to keep exploring. I roll my eyes because of course I do, so we continue our perusal of the booths. We stop by a booth selling fresh baguettes, olive oil and balsamic vinegar, which Charles bought as well. When I question him he tells me we're going to have a picnic and I can't help the smile that comes over my face.

We end up finding some fresh strawberries and blackberries at a different booth that were so sweet and delicious that I almost ate half of them as we walk through the square. Charles stops at a booth selling wine, and he's currently having a long discussion in Italian with the owner of the vineyard the wine is from. I excuse myself, telling Charles I'm going to check out the booth across the way that's selling handmade jewelry. Not that I could afford any of it but I can look.

As I admire the rings on display, I come across a few that are moss agate stones and absolutely beautiful. I pick one up that's a beautiful blue green color that reminds me of the color of Charles' eyes and try it on. It fits on my pointer finger and I stare down at it wishing I could buy it. Maybe I can? I look at the price tag that's attached by a little string and see that it's marked as $100. I immediately take the ring off my finger and put it back in its spot. How did I think I would be able to buy something like that in this part of town? It's at that moment that Charles walks up and stands next to me. I will the tears that are threatening to fall from my eyes away so he doesn't see my upset over a stupid ring.

"See anything you like?" He asks as his eyes roam over the rings in front of us. I shake my head no when the woman manning the booth makes her way over, saying something in Italian. I can't understand her but Charles responds and the two of them have a conversation while I stand their awkwardly. I turn away and look out at the square to see where else I want to explore because I need to get my good mood back after this stupid ring incident. A moment later Charles turns to me.

"Did you buy a bottle of that wine?" I ask as we start walking again. Charles holds up a bag towards me, showing me he bought two bottles. For the next thirty minutes we continue exploring the market. Charles periodically buying things whenever he sees something he wants or likes. I can't help but feel jealous, wishing I was able to spend money so freely. It's a wild concept to me, but it shouldn't surprise me that Charles likes to spend his money when he's wearing a Richard Mille watch. It just makes me question why he would be interested in someone like me. We clearly don't fit together looks wise. He's in designer clothes head to toe. His whole outfit minus his watch is probably more than I make in two months. Meanwhile I'm wearing a dress that I bought for $20 at a thrift store and scuffed up cowboy boots that are 16 years old.

"I'm ready to go." I tell him as I notice a group of girls in their early 20's staring at us. Their obvious disgust towards me is making me uncomfortable and I'm over the stares since I've been getting them ever since we got here. Charles looks at me with confusion because I had just told him I wanted to look at the booth selling flowers. He follows my gaze to the group of girls and understanding comes over him.

"Here, take my keys and head to the car. I'll be right behind you, I just need to get a few more things. He tells me as he pulls his keys from his pocket and hands them to me. My mouth drops open in shock.

"You trust me enough to give me the keys to your car?" I raise my eyebrows in question and he chuckles like I said something funny and then starts walking away telling me he'll see me in a few minutes. I stare after him for a moment in shock before heading back to where he parked his car. When I approach the car I see a small group of people taking photos of it and I wonder how Charles handles it...the constant stream of people either wanting photos of with him or of his car. Pushing my way through the crowd, I press the unlock button of the keys and quickly climb into the car, locking the doors as I take my seat because I don't trust people.

There's a guy with a professional camera taking my photo through the window and I do my best to ignore him. Putting the keys in the center console and then looking through my bag for my phone. I pull it out and check to see if I have any notifications which I don't. While I'm waiting for Charles, I open my Spotify to find a song to add to our playlist. After a couple of minutes of looking through songs, I choose 'Someone To You' by BANNERS and add it to the playlist.

As I press the add button I hear someone trying to open the drivers side door. For a second I freak out thinking it's one of the random people that were surrounding the car, but when I look I see Charles bending down looking through the window. I quickly push the unlock button and he's opening the door. He says something in Italian as he bends down near his seat and pushes a button which looks to open the trunk of the car. He's still talking in Italian as he walks to the back and stores the bags he was carrying. A moment later he's climbing into the car and shutting the door.

"Sorry I locked you out, I was just a little freaked out about all the people standing around your car." I say, looking back out the window at the people. I realize too late that the man with the professional camera is still right next to my window. I curse under my breath and move my hair so it's blocking my face, even though I know he already got the shot.

"No, I should be the one apologizing. I didn't even think about there being people waiting. I should have been with you." He says as he takes the keys from the console and starts the car.

"Did you find everything you needed?" I ask as he carefully pulls away from our parking spot and into traffic.

"Yes, I did. Are you ready for the next stop?" He replies and I smile excitedly for what I'm assuming is the picnic part of our evening and tell him I'm ready. He tells me to connect my phone to his Bluetooth and choose a playlist to listen to on the drive because it's a little bit out of town. I quickly connect my phone and choose one of my playlists that go with the vibes I'm feeling tonight.

The first song that comes on is 'Say Yes To Heaven' by Lana Del Rey. I can't help but watch Charles as he drives, especially with this song playing in the background. At the part of the song where Lana sings 'I've got my eye on you' Charles looks towards me and finds me staring at him. We share such a heated stare that I feel like I'm on fire. The tension between us is palpable and I so desperately want to lean towards him and kiss him.

Instead of kissing him like I want to, I look away from him and out the window. I take a deep breath to try to gain my composure back. I'm not sure how a 25 year old is causing me such distress but here we are. About twenty minutes later Charles pulls off the main highway and heads into a more wooded area of Parma. After a bit more driving we pull up to a beautiful building that looks abandoned. When we get out of the car I walk towards the building while Charles grabs all of the items for our picnic from the trunk of the car. I realize when I get closer to the building that it's an old church.

"Wow this is beautiful." I say with awe when Charles meets me.

"You haven't seen anything yet." He tells me as he points his head in the direction of the back of the church. As we walk around the side, my mouth drops open at the scene before me. There's a small lake nestled behind the church and along the woods. As we make our way towards the water I marvel over the beauty of it and wonder how Charles even knew this was here. We walk for a little bit until we get to a grassy area that overlooks the lake. The next thing I know Charles is pulling out a blanket from one of the bags, along with all of our food and a bottle of wine. He then pulls out a small bouquet of wildflowers and hands them to me along with a small white box that fits in the palm of my hand. I furrow my brows as I look down at the box.

"What is this?" I ask with confusion.

"A gift from me to you." He tells me as he helps me sit down on the blanket. I look at him one last time with my brows drawn in before opening the box. I gasp when I see the contents. It's the moss agate ring that I tried on earlier. My eyes flash to him to see that he's watching me carefully. I'm not sure how to react. It's a very sweet gesture and a wonderful gift but I also feel extremely weird that he spent so much money on something for me...a person he barely knows.

"I can't accept this. It's too much." I say as I put the lid back on the box.

"What are you talking about? Don't you like it?"

"Of course I like it...I love it. But it's too expensive Charles. You should not be spending that much money on me." I practically shout in frustration. He looks at me with so much confusion in his gaze.

"That much money..." he laughs and I want to cry because $100 is not that much money to him, but it is to me. Our differences are so glaringly obvious right now that it's ridiculous. I don't even know why I'm here right now, this date was probably a mistake. I'm about to ask him to just take me home when he puts a hand on my chin and forces me to look at him.

"Talk to me. I can tell you want to run from me, but why?" He asks and I don't understand how well he can read me already.

"Have you ever had your power or water turned off because you couldn't pay the bills? Have you ever gone days without eating because you didn't have money to buy food? Have you ever had to work three jobs to get yourself through college, all while supporting your son and his karting career and paying rent so you don't become homeless? Something tells me you've never experienced anything remotely close to that. It's painfully obvious when you think $100 isn't a lot of money. To someone like me, $100 is maybe one week of groceries. I don't fault you for wanting to spend your money. It's your money you can spend it however you want to. And I'm proud of you for working for that money, you deserve it. But I don't want you spending it on me. I'm not here with you because you have money. I don't need gifts nor do I want them. I appreciate it, it's beautiful and I love it but I can't accept it." I tell him and as I'm talking I can see him realize how much I've have to suffer through and I hope that he can finally understand where I'm coming from. It takes him a moment to respond to me which isn't surprising because I just unloaded a lot onto him.

"You're right, I've never experienced any of those things. I've been very privileged and have never once had to worry about money. I'm sorry that you have experienced such things, and that it seems like you still are experiencing them. But like you said it's my money and I can spend it however I want to. And I want to spend it on gifts for you because it makes me happy. No one has taken care of you for 16 years mon soleil, so let me take care of you. Please accept the ring, it would make me so happy to see you wearing it knowing that I'm the one who bought it for you." He tells me and butterflies erupt in my stomach at his words. I stare at him for a moment, letting his word sink in, and finally I look back down at the ring box and slowly take the lid off. Then I pick up the ring and place it on my finger. The smile that Charles gives me is out of this world, his dimples showing more than ever before.

Before I can talk myself out of it, I lean towards him until our lips are only millimeters apart and then with one little tilt of my head, my lips are on his. The second our lips connect, Charles' hands are tangled into my hair, holding my head in place making sure I'm not going anywhere. Like I could go anywhere right now, I belong to him in this moment. I've never felt like this before, the instant connection I felt when our lips touched was unexpected. I knew it was going to feel good to kiss him, but I didn't think it would feel this good. I let out a soft moan, which gave Charles an opening to deepen the kiss. His tongue gently presses against mine, exploring, and deepening our connection.

I'm about to lose my mind and take this further when I pull away. This is not the place for that. I pull away from him gently, his hands still tangled in my hair. I rest my forehead on his and smile as he rubs our noses together lightly. It's adorable and I realize in that moment that I officially like him, like really like him and that I can see myself falling for him. It wouldn't be hard to fall fast, it already seems like I'm half way there.

"Let's eat." I whisper and Charles groans but pulls away from me and releases my hair with a broad smile. Then he starts organizing the food and we dig in.

It's been the most perfect evening. The food is great, and the company even better. We're currently laying on the blanket, staring up at the stars that are starting to come out above us. Music is playing quietly from Charles' phone and we're playing 21 questions, getting to know one another. I have just asked Charles if he has always wanted to drive Ferrari and if he's ever thought about going to a different team. He takes him a long time to answer and I'm worried that I may have taken the question too far.

"I've always wanted to drive for Ferrari ever since I was a little kid. I can't see myself leaving Ferrari until I win the championship. I made a promise to someone that I would. So until then, I don't think I could go to a different team. Even if I get frustrated with the team, I can't give up that dream." He responds and my heart hurts because I know he made that promise to his father and to Jules. He has yet to bring either of them up to me. I find his hand laying beside mine and intertwine our fingers and squeeze his hand letting him know I'm here and I understand his need to stay with Ferrari. We're silent for a few minutes, just enjoying each others company when he asks his next question.

"Why do you let Ezra have the bedroom when he's rarely home?" He asks and I sigh because I figured the questions regarding my apartment were coming up.

"Ezra and I were apart for 5 years. From age 11 to now he's been in Italy while I was back in Texas working my ass off so I could move and be here for him. I worked three jobs to get myself through college, I got my bachelors and masters degree in 5 years so that I would have a better chance at being hired as a professor for a university here. Luckily, I was able to get one at the university closest to his teams headquarters. So for the first time in 5 years he was able to live with me again. All I can afford is a one bedroom apartment, and I wanted him to have some semblance of normalcy after not having any for basically his whole life. So, I let him have the bedroom. Even if he's not here a lot I needed him to know that he has been and always will be my number one priority. I may have a sh*tty way of showing it, and I may make a lot of mistakes and disappoint him more than I make him proud but he deserves to have the best. If the best that I can do right now is letting him have his own bedroom I'm going to do that." I tell him, wiping away at the tears that have spilled out of my eyes. Charles rolls onto his side and peers down at me, his free hand coming up to my face and wiping away the tears for me as he stares deeply into my eyes.

"I don't think you could do anything to disappoint him Lydia. He talks so highly of you and is constantly talking about how great of a mom you are and how much you do for him. But I don't think he truly knows how much you do for him...how much you sacrifice for him." He whispers as his fingers linger on my face. I stare up at him, processing his words and trying to believe them. Before I can respond to his sweet words he bends down and kisses me, gently at first but it quickly becomes more intense.

By the time Charles is pulling away from me, I'm breathless and completely turned on. Charles lays back down and I can't help but start giggling like a schoolgirl, I'm giddy and being awkward. Charles looks over at me like I've lost my mind, and maybe I have.

Chapter 6: Dandelions

Chapter Text

Charles has his hand on my thigh as he drives me home. I don't know if he's aware but he's rubbing his thumb along my skin and it's slowly driving me crazy. Cigarettes After Sex is playing quietly and again this feeling is surreal. I still don't understand what Charles wants to do with me. I glance over at him to because I can't help it, he's so beautiful. He notices me staring and turns to give me a soft smile and I wish I could kiss him.

"You need to stop looking at me like that." He whispers as his eyes move to look at my lips.

"I'm not doing anything. It's not my fault that you're freaking hot and have your hands on me!" I say biting my lip which makes Charles' eyes darken. My stomach dips as I feel his hand ever so slowly move up my thigh.

"You're the one who needs to stop!" I laugh as I grab his hand and remove it from my leg, instead intertwine our fingers so we are holding hands. Charles chuckles wickedly and I roll my eyes as I look away from him and out the window. After a few minutes Charles squeezes my hand gaining my attention. I turn to face him again and notice he seems worried.

"I'm going to be gone for the next two weeks." He tells me and I nod because I already knew that. Ezra is also gone but for three weeks. I'm sad but also excited that they'll be gone. Sad because I'll miss them but happy because I can focus on finding another summer job.

"Ez will be gone too."

"So what are your plans?" He asks curiously.

"My main goal is to find a summer job. I don't get paychecks during the breaks between teaching so I need to find something else for a few months until the new semester starts." I tell him and he frowns, and his eyebrows are drawn in like he's annoyed. I look away because it's honestly embarrassing that I have to get another job. A moment later Charles is pulling over to the side of the road and I turn back to him in confusion thinking something is wrong with his car. When he puts it in park he turns to face me fully and wraps one of his hands in my hair, forcing me to look at him.

"Don't ever feel ashamed for needing to work. I didn't realize that you don't get paid when you aren't teaching, that seems very stupid. What kind of job are you looking for?" He asks and I look at him curiously.

"I don't know, anything really. Waitressing, tutoring, cleaning." I say listing a few things off the top of my head and I can tell he's trying to think through something as he processes what I just said.

"What if I hire you?" He asks me and I narrow my eyes at him. He can't be serious.

"For what?" I ask because I don't know where he's going with this.

"You can be my English teacher." He says, completely serious and I can't help but laugh.

"Don't be ridiculous. You are better at speaking English than I am." I tell him and based on his expression he doesn't appreciate me laughing at him.

"I just wish you didn't have to work. How much do you need?" He asks and I move his hand out of my hair in annoyance.

"Don't worry about it. I have it covered. I always figure out a way." I say as I look out the windshield blankly.

"But you shouldn't have to figure it out! Have you tried finding more sponsors so you don't have to cover karting anymore?" He asks almost desperately and I don't understand why he's so worked up about this.

"Charles, just drop it." I say quietly, checking out of the conversation. I can feel him staring at me, but I don't budge. Eventually he puts the car in drive and merges back onto the road. For the rest of the car ride we don't talk, we don't touch. This night just went to complete sh*t because of money. It's ridiculous and just shows me that this would never work between us. He has too much money and I don't have enough. We're in two different worlds. When he pulls up to my apartment he parks and turns off the car. I sit silently, not moving to get out of the car just yet. I'm trying to figure out what to say. It seems like Charles is in the same boat as me as he sits silently beside me.

"Thank you for tonight. It was the best date I've ever been on. I guess I'll see you later." I turn and tell him. When he doesn't acknowledge me, I turn and open the door. Before I can climb out though, Charles is reaching across me and yanking the door shut. I turn to face him in annoyance, but when I turn our faces are only inches from each other. I stare at him in shock for a moment trying to figure out what's happening when he leans forward and kisses me. I instantly melt into him, grabbing his shirt collar and pulling him closer to me. He deepens the kiss then and I can't help the moan that comes from me. The next moment, he's pulling away and we're breathing roughly.

"I'm sorry." He whispers as he sits back into his seat.

"For what?" I ask because I honestly don't know.

"The money stuff. I should have never asked what I did. I just wish I could help." He says, sounding sad and I can't help but fall for him a little more. In his mind he thought he was being thoughtful and can I really fault him for that? Maybe a little but he has probably never been in this situation before and doesn't know how to handle it.

"It's fine but you don't need to worry about me. I'm used to doing everything on my own." I tell him and he turns to face me then, but I can't seem to get a read on his expression. Instead of trying to figure it out, I open my door and step out of the car. Before I close it, I lean back into the car and tell Charles goodnight and to drive safe. He waits to leave until I'm securely in my apartment. I wave goodbye to him as he drives out of the parking lot.

When I walk through the door I hear Ezra shouting. I rush to his room and realize he's still streaming and yelling about his game. Not to scare him too bad, I knock on the door jam. He turns to look at me with a bright smile.

"Mama! How was the date?" He asks and my eyes widen when I realize he asked that when he's still streaming. Luckily no one will know it was a date with Charles.

"It was good." I respond smiling brightly, thinking about the evening spent with Charles. Ezra rolls his eyes and then looks at his computer screen, reading comments from his chat.

"I'm going to get ready for bed. Don't stay up too late, you have to be up early tomorrow for your flight." I tell him before walking into the bathroom to get ready for bed. A few minutes later I'm walking into the living room with a freshly cleaned and moisturized face, my teeth brushed and my hair in a messy bun. As I'm pulling my bed out of the couch Ezra comes out of his room and heads to the kitchen to grab some water.

"Arthur says that Charles is smitten. I guess he called him right away gushing about you and the date." He says as he fills up a glass from the faucet.

"I'm sure Arthur is exaggerating. We had a really good time, but we're from two different worlds. I'm not so sure we would make a good match." I tell him sadly as I fluff the pillows on the bed.

"Why?" Ezra demands as he walks to come stand nearby.

"Well for starters, he's a millionaire while I can barely scrape two quarters together. He's all luxury and designer clothes, while I'm all budget and thrift shops. Not to mention that I'm not remotely close to being classy like his past girlfriends. I'm a Texan, and he's from freaking Monaco!" I tell him, not meaning to say so much but needing to vent.

"Who cares?" Ezra asks with confusion.

"Do you really think his family and friends, as well as his team and fans would ever approve of me? It would be a disaster and a PR nightmare for him." I say, looking away from him so he can't see my eyes that are brimming with tears. I haven't spoken my fears out loud until now and now that I hear them I realize how true they are.

"Mama, since when do you care what people think? And what makes you think Charles cares about any of that?" Ez asks and I wish I had as much hope and positivity about this situation as he does.

"I don't care what people think until you're brought into the picture...which you will be once they find out I'm your mother. I don't want you to have to deal with any backlash I get. And I don't know Charles well enough yet to know how he would handle that type of situation." I tell him and I can tell he wants to argue with me.

"Look baby, there's no point in discussing this right now. He's going to be gone for two weeks, over that time he may decide that he doesn't want to pursue anything with me. Let's just let things play out how they're supposed to. Okay?" I ask walking over to where he's standing and give him a hug. Right when I step away my phone dings with a notification and Ezra smirks.

"I don't think he's going to change his mind Mama. Goodnight." He says with a laugh and heads to his bedroom to go to bed. I roll my eyes as I grab my phone from the bed. I have two notifications. One from Spotify telling me that Charles added a song to our playlist and a text from Charles. I check Spotify first to see what song he added. My heart lurches in my chest when I see he added 'Sparks' by Coldplay. I press play on the song as I open up his text message.

Charles: You left too fast. I wasn't able to tell you that I had a great time tonight.

Me: It was amazing! Thank you again for my ring, even though it was definitely too much. But I absolutely love it.

Charles: You're welcome. Get used to receiving gifts from me mon soliel.

Me: No :)

Charles: Let me spoil you. It makes me happy.

Me: We'll see...goodnight Charles.

Charles: Goodnight Lydia.

After our conversation I open Spotify again and start to figure out another song to add to our playlist. I decide on 'Dandelions' by Ruth B, hoping that it's not too forward of a song to add. I go to bed with a smile on my face, thinking back on the night and hoping that I'll get another date with Charles when he gets back.

When I wake up the next day, I rush to help Ezra get ready to catch his flight since he woke up late. I'm helping him pack his carry on when his ride gets to our apartment. The next thing I know he's running out the door, yelling out an I love you and I'm officially alone for the next three weeks.

I grab my phone to see if I have any notifications but I don't. I try not to let that bother me, the fact that Charles hasn't added a song or texted. It's not like we are even dating. For the rest of the day I focus on job searching. I end up applying for a part time library assistant, a hostess as a local restaurant, a waitress for a bar, and a dog walker. By the time I'm done applying for the jobs, I make myself some dinner and finish my day watching Yellowstone. I'm trying to tell myself I'm not upset that Charles never reached out throughout the day, even after I sent him a text message asking how he was. I go to bed pretending like I'm not sad and cursing myself for even getting attached so quickly.

Chapter 7: Neon Moon

Chapter Text

It's been a week since I've heard from Charles. Days of him ignoring me, or at least it seems like it. I've texted him everyday, just once, but no response to any of them. The last one I asked if I had done something wrong and still no response. I'm angry. I at least deserve a response, even if it's him telling me to leave him alone.

He has a race tomorrow so I know he's busy, but he could at least send a quick text. I also know he's been posting on social media because I'm currently on Instagram, and see he's been posting to his stories. I decide to check out the tag for this weekends race to see what other people are posting when I come across a post made by Charlotte, Charles' ex. She's wearing a Ferrari hat, and it looks like she's in the Paddock, specially in the Ferrari garage and my stomach drops. No wonder he has been ignoring me. I quickly click out of Instagram and turn my phone off.

I don't want to torture myself so turning my phone off is my only option at this point. My body is hot yet cold as I process the fact that Charlotte is there. I'm not even sure why I'm so bothered by it, Charles and I only went on one date. He dated her for three years. I guess I'm just disappointed because I thought we had fun, and I thought he wanted to get to know me more. It's driving me crazy that this man is making me feel this way. I'm a 30 year old woman, I shouldn't be this affected by a man who I've only gone on one date with.

Not being able to be inside my apartment while I feel like this, I decide to go out for a drink. Hopefully that will help me feel better. I walk to my closet to pick an outfit. I end up picking a pair of high waisted jean shorts, and a plain black tank top with my cowboy boots. Grabbing my purse, I make sure to take my phone even though it's off and head out the door. I decide to just walk to a local bar down the street. When I get there it's crowded and the atmosphere is making me feel instantly better.

When I take a seat at the bar, the man sitting next to the one I just took looks over at me with interest and I give him a soft smile. The bartender walks up at that moment and asks what I want. I reply with two shots of whiskey and the man sitting beside me watches me curiously. The bartender lines up the shots in front of me and I'm opening my purse to pay when the man next to me stops me by putting money down for the bartender. I grab one of the shots and tip it towards him in thanks as I pour it in my mouth. The man and I keep eye contact as I grab the second shot and down it too.

"Hi, I'm Trent." He tells me, as I watch as his eyes roam over my face, lingering on my lips. My stomach dips, but I'm not sure if it's from intrigue or guilt.

"Hi Trent, I'm Lydia." I reply and I watch his eyebrows shoot up in the air, I'm assuming because of my accent.

"American?" He asks and I can't help but smile.

"Texan." I reply, as my eyes roam over his face. He's handsome. Blond with brown eyes with a sprinkling of freckles, his hair is gorgeous though, about shoulder length and luscious.

"I'm from Oregon." He tells me and I'm intrigued. I feel so much better when I know he's American which is so silly, but I feel like I won't be judged by him at least, unlike everyone else in the bar. I watch as Trent flags down the bartender and orders 2 shots of whiskey. He hands one to me while holding the other. We cheers and down the shots, staring at each other the whole time. I'm about to say something when I see a flash in our direction and I furrow my brows as I see a man with a camera pointing towards us. Pointing towards me. I realize a little too late that it's the same man who was trying to get a photo of me in Charles car. I frown as I watch him walk out of the bar.

"You okay?" Trent asks and I shake off whatever I just saw. I must have been mistaken, why would that same photographer be following me for a photo.

"Yes. I'm perfect. So tell me why you're in Italy!" I say and Trent and I proceed to talk all evening. I find out he's here for a study abroad program and I nearly fall off my barstool when he tells me his age. When he finds out I'm 30 he calls me a liar and I had to prove it to him. Its honestly been a ridiculous night, but I'm having fun. It's getting late and I'm talking about walking home. I'm basically sober because I stopped drinking hours ago after my third shot.

"Can I give you my number? Maybe if you want we could meet up again for some shots." He asks me and I appreciate that he asked if he would give me his number instead of asking for mine. I grab my phone out of my purse and realize it's still off. While we wait for it to turn on, Trent is making fun of my cowboy boots, telling me that I need to invest in different footwear since I'm in Italy now. I roll my eyes at him while my phone starts going crazy with notifications in my hand. I look down with a frown to see multiple text messages from Ezra and Charles. My heart lurches in my chest but I avoid looking at the texts immediately.

I hand my phone to Trent so he can enter his phone number. His eyebrows furrow as another text rolls in. I'm not sure who it's from until Trent asks who Charles is. I tell him the truth about who Charles is to me, leaving out the part of who he actually is. Trent looks like he's ready to fight and it makes me laugh.

"You're silly. Now give me my phone." I tell him as I stand, ready to go home now more than ever. Trent looks up at me slightly, holding out my phone so I can take it.

"Call me. I would love to take you on a date." He says and I smile, then bend down and kiss his cheek. Then I wave at him over my shoulder as I walk out of the bar and head home. I wait until I get home to read my texts because I need to be alone in order to be able to get through whatever Charles is doing. I first decide to open the texts from Ezra.

Ezra: Why aren't you answering your phone?

Ezra: Where are you?

Ezra: Mama, answer me.

Ezra: Charles is worried. He called me saying he can't get ahold of you.

Me: I had my phone off, and I just got home from a bar. Why would Charles be worried and trying to get ahold of me?

Ezra: Mama, you can't be serious...

Me: No really, why would be care? I haven't heard from him for a week. Besides, he's with Charlotte.

Ezra: What are you talking about?

Me: Look at @charlottesines Instagram stories.

Ezra: What the f*ck.

Me: Language!

Ezra: I'm sorry mama. I'm just confused...I need to talk to Arthur.

I don't answer Ezra because another text comes through from Charles so I decide to open his text thread to see what he even wants.

Charles: Who are you with right now?

Charles: What are you doing?

Charles: How come you're not answering me?

Charles: Are you okay?

Charles: Are you ignoring me?

Charles: Lydia, what's wrong?

Charles: Mon soliel just let me know you're okay.

Me: I'm fine.

Charles: That's all you have to say?

Me: Yes. Since you've been ignoring me for a week I don't think I owe you more than that.

Charles immediately calls me after I send that text but I ignore it. I don't understand why now he's trying to get ahold of me. Why not when I reached out to him multiple times throughout the week. And what does he mean by who are you with right now? How would he even know that I'm with anyone or anywhere. Something tells me to search Charles' name in google and when I do I see photos of me from tonight at the bar with Trent.

Rumored new girlfriend of Charles Leclerc was seen getting close with a different man tonight at a bar in Parma, Italy. A source said that she was flirty and exchanged numbers with the man. Is she cheating on Formula 1's biggest bachelor? Are her and Charles nothing more than friends? Is this her response to photos that were released of Charles and Charlotte together in the Paddock this week? Follow along as we try to piece together a timeline of Charles' new rumored romance.

My mouth drops open as I look at the photos and the blurb attached to it. So is Charles just annoyed because it's bad publicity for him? That's ridiculous if he does especially because they're making him out to be the innocent one even though he was seen photographed with his ex girlfriend multiple times the last couple of days. While I'm looking through all the photos associated with him over the last couple of days he calls two more times. I finally get fed up when he called for the fourth time.

"What do you want from me Charles?" I answer with a huff of breath.

"I want you to let me explain." He says and I laugh because why the hell would I let him explain?

"I don't think any explanation can justify you ignoring me for a week and being photographed with your ex girlfriend multiple times. And on top of that, get accusatory about who I'm with when I was unknowingly being photographed by some crazy journalist who accuses me of cheating on you when we aren't even together! So yeah, I don't really want to hear whatever explanation you may have Charles." I tell him, getting angrier after each word.

"Charlotte is not..." Charles begins to say but I cut him off not wanting to hear whatever lie he's about to say.

"It doesn't matter what Charlotte is or isn't Charles. I only care about the fact that you made me think you wanted to pursue something with me, and then completely ghosted me. At least give me the courtesy of letting me know you no longer want anything to do with me. You made me feel like a complete and utter fool. I knew this relationship would never work, you need someone like Charlotte. Not someone like me."

"What does that mean? Someone like you..." He says, sounding pissed off.

"Someone who is more your equal, who is elegant and poised, expensive and demure. Certainly someone the opposite of me."

"Who says that I want that?" He demands and I laugh.

"I think you more than proved that to me this week. Goodbye Charles. I truly hope that you're happy with Charlotte." I say and hang up the phone.

Surprisingly I don't cry even though I feel tears threatening to spill behind my eyes. I'm not even sure what I'm most upset about. Of course I'm upset about Charles and Charlotte, but I'm more upset about my identity potentially being released soon. I've done a good job for the past 15 years preventing my name from being on any social media sites. It's been my way of protecting myself from my parents in case they ever try to find me. My actual name is Annabelle Lydia Kincaid but I dropped Annabelle when my parents disowned me. It's not like I made it hard for them to find me with keeping my middle name. But so far they haven't reached out to me so I must be doing a good job hiding my identity or they could have never looked at all which is honestly what I hope. But now I'm worried there's no way they won't find me with how popular Formula 1 is getting in the states. If my name keeps getting ran in tabloids I'm worried they'll find me...find Ezra.

I'm annoyed and upset when I finally give up and pull up Spotify hoping to find a playlist that will make me feel better. As I'm searching for one, I get a notification that a new song has been added to Charles' and I's playlist. I'm tempted to check it, but I hold strong and ignore it. Instead I pull up one of my sad country playlists, choose the song 'Neon Moon' by Brooks & Dunn feature Kasey Musgraves while I stress clean my apartment.

I'm currently in Ezra's room cleaning everything and anything. His desk is a mess of papers, and empty snack wrappers so I'm organizing and cleaning it when my eye catches a bank document print out. I grab it to look at it quickly, trying to see if it's important or not when I realize what it is. It's a statement of all of his balances in his checking and savings accounts that he has. I make sure that after every win he saves a majority of the earnings so that he has some money saved up but when I look at the number I realize it's extremely high.

I know he's been winning a lot but not this much. My brows furrow as I start looking through his transactions for each account. My stomach drops as I see multiple deposits being made into his account, $5,000 every month for the past 6 months. As I look at the deposit information, I see that they are being made in a branch in Austin, Texas. Tears fall from my eyes as I realize who is sending him the money. How is this possible? How did they find him? Why is he taking money from them? Why didn't he tell me?

Chapter 8: Gilded Lily

Chapter Text

The following day I end up watching Charles' race because I couldn't help myself. He didn't do well and he was arguing with his engineers over the radio pretty much the whole race which he rarely does. I'm not sure if our conversation was the cause to him doing badly or if he's just having an off day but I try not to let myself feel guilty. It's not my fault. He's the one who brought this on himself. I had a few texts from him this morning when I woke up but ignored them, there was also another Spotify notification. I did notice that there were no photos of Charlotte today, which I find interesting.

Ezra had his race today too, which I'm hoping to hear from him about soon. I am still reeling from finding out what I did and I'm not sure how I'm going to even bring it up, but I need to do it as soon as possible because I need to get to the bottom of it. I'm laying in bed, scrolling Instagram, debating on whether or not I should finally make a profile since now it doesn't seem to matter since my parents seemed to find us anyways. I decide that I might as well since I've always wanted to. As I just finish setting up my account, Ezra calls me.

"Hey baby. How was your race?" I ask when I answer the phone.

"I didn't do very well, P4." He replies sadly, sounding dejected.

"It's okay baby. That's still really great!" I reply, trying to cheer him up because P4 is still really awesome.

"Not really, I didn't get any prize money." He admits and my stomach sours.

"Money isn't everything Ez."

"Says the woman who has always had two or three jobs. Money is all you think about."

"Do you think all that money goes to me? For me to spend the way I want it to? There's a reason I've always worked two to three jobs!"

"You should be able to live off of one income Mama. You only have your cell phone, rent and utilities to pay for." He says and I snap.

"I'm also paying what your sponsors aren't covering, I have been since the beginning of your time in Italy. There's also my student loans that I have to pay."

"What are you talking about? My sponsors cover the whole cost of being here. And what student loans? I thought you got scholarships?"

"No baby, they don't. I have to pay $20,000 a year for you to be here. And I did get scholarships but I also had to take out student loans."

"Why haven't you told me this until right now?" He demands, sounding upset.

"Because you didn't need to stress about it. I wanted you to focus on your dream because I was going to make it happen for you. But now, I'm not so sure it's been worth it...since you've been taking money from your grandparents behind my back for months." I say sadly, as tears fall down my face.

"How....How did you find out?" He stutters out after a few moments of tense silence.

"I was stress cleaning last night and found your bank statement on your desk. I saw the amount and was confused until I saw who has been depositing money into your account."

"So you were snooping in my room?!" He shouts and I flinch from his anger.

"Blame me all you want. But just remember I'm the one who has always provided for you. They may have money, but they are horrible people who abandoned me when I needed them the most." I cry, hating that my parents are still making me cry almost 16 years later.

"They didn't abandon me though! They told me that they have been looking for me my whole life!" He shouts and I laugh sardonically.

"They told you that? They are still as manipulative as ever."

"They aren't manipulating me!" He shouts again.

"Baby, they met you when you were born. I called them when I gave birth, thinking that if they saw you, saw the two of us together that they would realize that it was a good thing, that we could all be a family still. But when they got to the hospital, they spent the whole time trying to convince me to put you up for adoption. They knew your name, they saw you, they held you. I'm not sure why now they would reach out, but you need to be careful."

"I don't believe you!" He shouts and my heart breaks. How can my baby boy so easily take their side?

"Well, then I guess you should have them help you with karting now instead since I'm a liar. You should invite them here so you can live with them instead of me. I'm sure it will be luxurious and nothing like this crappy apartment that I can barely afford."

"Mama..."

"No. You need to own up to this Ez. If you want to have a relationship with them, fine. But I will have no part in it. I'm bowing out. I love you more than life itself, I have always provided for you, have tried to give you everything you've ever wanted but it apparently wasn't enough so I hope you get whatever I have failed to provide for you from them." I tell him and then hang up the phone, done with the conversation. It's probably not the most mature way to handle that, since I am his mother. But I'm extremely hurt, and feeling completely inadequate, like everything I've done for the past 15-16 years was for nothing. That I am not good enough and that I'm a bad mother.

For the next hour I lay in my bed, blankly staring at the wall trying to will the tears that are slowly leaking out of my eyes away. 'Gilded Lily' by Cults is currently playing and I feel numb, wondering how this is my life. I hear my phones muffled ringing and fish it out for under the covers to see that it's Charles calling me, I should really ignore it, but something makes me answer, but I can't seem to talk.

"Lydia? Are you there?" He asks sounding worried.

"Yeah, I'm here." I whisper in reply.

"Ezra wanted me to check up on you." He replies, and my tears start falling more quickly now. I swipe at them but it's no use.

"Hmm...that's surprising." I mumble as I think back to Ezra's and my conversation.

"Mon soleil..." He says and my eyes squeeze shut, annoyed that he calls me that.

"Don't call me that." I interrupt and I can hear him sigh deeply into my ear.

"What do you want Charles? I'm not in the mood for whatever this is." I reply with annoyance.

"Why are you acting this way?" He asks.

"Because it seems like nothing I do is enough. That I'm not enough. For anyone. I'm trying to protect my heart the best way I can Charles since it's kind of taking a beating at the moment." I reply with tears falling down my face.

"Lydia..." He starts to say when there is a woman taking in the background of the call, and she's speaking French. My skin crawls as I realize it's probably Charlotte. Even though they weren't photographed together didn't mean they weren't together today.

"Charles, you need to stop calling, texting and adding songs to the playlist." I say after I hear him tell the person that he'll be off the phone in a minute.

"I will..." He begins to say but I hang up the call before I can hear his response. A few minutes later my phone dings with a notification but I ignore it. Needing to get out of my apartment I grab my car keys, purse and phone and head out the door. Once in my car, I start driving with no real destination in mind.

Subconsciously I end up driving out to the church and lake that Charles had taken me to. It's peaceful and I'm the only one here. When I step out of my car, I head to the lake where there's a bench and sit down. I sit there for hours, the sun is setting now. Grabbing my phone from my purse, I snap a few photos of the sunset over the lake and I post one of them to my Instagram story.

Once the sun sets, I make my way back to my car and head back to my apartment. When I approach my door, I see a flower arrangement of sunflowers on the ground along with a grocery bag. My brows furrow as I unlock my door and stare down at the items waiting for me. I grab them once I have the door open and place them on the small dining table. The flowers don't have a card, so I look in the grocery bag and gasp. It's full of American treats that aren't sold in Italy. My stomach drops when I realize this has to be from Charles. During our date I complained about all of the things I missed from the United States. There's a note in the grocery bag so I pick it up and read it.

Mon soleil, I'm sorry. Please call me. - C

I frown at the note, not really sure how to interpret it. Instead of trying to figure it out I look through the bag of grocery items to see what he got me. There's pickles, doritos, Reeses pieces, peanut butter, cheez its, sour patch kids, and a few other things. I wonder how he got ahold of all of this short notice, but then I remember that he's a millionaire, he can do whatever he wants. My heart is happy but confused as I look between the treats and the sunflowers.

Charles is confusing and I'm not sure how to handle it. Grabbing my phone I debate calling him, but get distracted when I see that I have a lot of Instagram notifications. Opening Instagram, I curse under my breath when I look at the notifications and see that I have hundreds of followers already. I'm confused about how and why I have so many but decide to ignore it for now.

Instead, I decide to take a photo of the sunflowers and American snacks to my stories with the caption 'Thank you LP'. I'm sure the reason I have so many followers is because of Charles. I don't know how they would or could find me but I can't think of any other reason I would have so many followers. His die hard fans that are following me will know the LP reference. For others they are probably going to be confused on who LP is. I chuckle as I post it because I'm sure it's going to cause chaos. Not even a few minutes later, I have multiple notifications on my phone, messages from people to which I ignore. I'm about to go take a shower, when my phone rings. Charles' name is showing on my display.

"Charles..."I answer.

"Who is LP and why are you thanking them for the flowers and treats I sent you?" He demands and I laugh. Beautiful dumb boy doesn't even realize I was thanking him.

"Lord Perceval you are hilarious. How do you even know about my post? I just made an Instagram today." I reply and Charles lets out a relieved sigh.

"Instagram let me know, telling me a contact in my phone made a page. You went to our spot tonight." He says quietly and I close my eyes as he says 'our spot' and my stomach dips.

"Yes, I needed a place to think."

"Think about what?"

"About Ezra. About my parents. About myself. About you..."

"Ezra told me what happened."

"What did he tell you?"

"Just that you found out your parents are sending him money and you got really upset. He said you were acting crazy and that you need to calm down because it wasn't a big deal." He says and I can't help the laugh slash sob that releases from my mouth hearing that my son thinks it's not a big deal that his grandparents who abandoned us are now sending him money. The tears I've been keeping away all day are now flooding down my face. Charles to his credit stays on the phone with me murmuring that everything is going to be okay, and that I needed to just breathe.

"Mon soliel, you need to take a deep breath. Please, can you do that for me?" I can hear him beg in my ear and I slowly bring air into my lungs, holding for a few seconds and then release it. After a few more breaths I start calming down, my tears less prominent on my cheeks.

"Do you need me to come to Italy for a couple of days before my next race?" Charles asks and i furrow my brows. Why would be offer coming back to Italy? I hate that my heart soars in my chest at the prospect of him coming back for me, but that doesn't matter when he's with Charlotte.

"Why would you do that?" I ask with confusion.

"I hate that I can't be with you right now. I wish I could hold you in my arms while I comfort you in person." He tells me and my stomach fills with butterflies.

"I'm not sure Charlotte would appreciate you saying that Charles." I reply, needing to remind myself that he is taken and even if he wasn't, he ignored me for a week.

"If you would let me talk to you for more than a couple of minutes, you would know I am not with Charlotte."

"Well even if that's true, you still ignored me for a whole week so it makes no sense that you would come here now." I reply.

"I will explain everything when I get to you. I'll be there tomorrow morning." He tells me and I laugh thinking he's joking, that he's not actually coming here.

"There is no way you're coming here tomorrow."

"Do you not want me to?" He asks and I frown because I do want him to come here but I don't think he will. I stay silent though, because I don't want him to know my true answer to that question.

"I'll see you tomorrow Lyd." He replies to my silence and I feel my stomach dip at the prospect of him actually showing up tomorrow, for me. I go to bed that night thinking of Charles, and wondering what I would do if he actually showed up here tomorrow. There's no way he was being serious though, he has to prepare for another race that's this weekend.

Chapter 9: fallingforyou

Chapter Text

There is someone knocking on my door. I roll over in my bed with a groan, grabbing my phone to see the time, 8:15am. Rolling out of my bed, I make my way to the front door half asleep. When I open the door, I come face to face with Charles. I furrow my brows in confusion. Why is he here? And why is he holding a small bouquet of dandelions.

"What are you doing here?" I ask as I lean against the door. Charles looks me up and down slowly, and that's when I realize I'm only wearing a pair of underwear and a tank top. I should probably cover myself or get dressed but I'm still half asleep and my brain isn't working. Charles clears his throat roughly and looks up at me.

"I told you I was coming." He tells me with a shy smile and I blink slowly, realizing that he's actually standing here. I move the door open slightly, indicating he can come in. He steps in hesitatingly and lingers by the door while I close it. I walk back toward the living room so I can fix the couch.

"I didn't think you were serious." I replied as I move my pillows and fix the blankets so they are flat on the bed. Charles watches me intently as I fold the mattress and move it into the couch, adding the couch cushions back on it. I turn toward him after I'm finished and look at him pointedly.

"What? You've never seen a pull out couch before?" I ask and based on his expression he hasn't. Figures.

"You know what? Don't answer that. I know you haven't." I say, rolling my eyes and walk towards my kitchen to make some coffee.

"I brought you these." He tells me, stepping up beside me and holding out the dandelions. I stare at them without taking them.

"I'm not sure why you brought me a bouquet of weeds, Charles." I say as I put coffee grounds in my coffee pot and start it.

"Because of the last song you added to the playlist." He says and I freeze, remembering the song I added. I turn to face him, staring in his eyes. Wondering what that means.

"I've been making some wishes." He whispers as he holds them out to me again. My stomach fills with butterflies as I tentatively take the bouquet from him. Opening one of my cabinets, I grab a glass to use as a vase. Once they are in water, I walk them over to the bouquet of sunflowers and set them beside it.

"Thank you." I say as I stare at the bouquets of flowers. Charles doesn't say anything, so I turn to face him finding him staring down toward my ass. I smirk as he sees that I've caught him staring at me.

"See something you like?" I ask with a laugh and a shake of my head.

"Yes. Something I really like." He replies and my body heats up like it's on fire. I have to look away from him so I don't go to him. I have to remind myself that he's taken.

"Charles, you can't say things like that while you're dating someone else. It's not fair." I say, making my way back to my coffee pot.

"I'm not dating anyone besides you." He says as he takes a step to stand right behind me. I can feel the heat from his body on my back he's that close. My eyes close in frustration. Frustration that he's lying and frustration that I want him desperately.

"I don't believe you. I saw the photos of you and Charlotte." I whisper. The next thing I know, Charles is grabbing hold of me and spinning me to face him.

"Charlotte has just started dating my good friend Joris." He says, catching my eyes with his. He stares deep into mine as the words he just said sink in.

"Okay...but why all the photos then?" I ask because I'm honestly still confused.

"Charlotte and I being seen together is always a big deal, even if there are other people in the photo with us. The media creates the narrative that will get them clicks and views." He answers and I furrow my brows in annoyance.

"Just like how they made it seem like I was cheating on you." I frown, annoyed that the media can get away with that. It has to make life so difficult for Charles.

"So that guy?" He implores and I roll my eyes.

"It's not really your business, but nothing happened. He was like 23 years old, way too young." I smirk as I watch Charles' face turn slightly red.

"I do have his number though, so I might still give him a call. He doesn't seem like the type to ignore someone he claims to like for a week." I smile sardonically and I turn back around towards my coffee and pour myself a cup. I add some sugar and a little milk and take a seat at the dining table. Charles watches me while I do this, I guess just waiting for me to give him my full attention or perhaps trying to come up with an excuse as to why he ignored me. I look up at him intently as I take a sip of my coffee.

"Would you believe me if I said I was ignoring you because I'm scared?" He asks sadly and I narrow my eyes.

"If you're scared you should have talked to me, not ignored me. I would have understood if you didn't want to pursue something with me. I have a lot of baggage, I get it. I just wish you would have had the courtesy to tell me instead of making me think I did something wrong." I answer sadly, having to look away from him because I still feel like I did something wrong.

Charles stalks toward me, and to my surprise drops down to his knees in front of me. He grabs my hands and holds them in his as he looks at me with guilt.

"You didn't do anything wrong. And you don't have a lot of baggage. That's not why I'm scared. I'm scared because of how you make me feel. I haven't felt this way about someone like this in a long time, maybe ever and that is honestly terrifying." He confesses.

"Terrifying because that means you can hurt me badly, that I can hurt you badly. I thought that if I denied myself from wanting you there would be less heartbreak in the long run. That if I bow out now, it will be better in the long run."

"And how is that working out?" I whisper, as tears pool up in my eyes.

"Not well. When I saw those photos of you and that guy, I was so f*cking jealous and I realized that I was being so stupid. It made me realize I'm more scared to not be with you, to not ever finding out how it would feel to be loved by you. I'm sorry that I was a complete idiot. Please give me another chance to show you I want this, that I want to explore us." He says, and I take a deep breath trying to figure out how I feel in this moment and what I want to do.

"Okay." I whisper after a few moments. Charles' eyes get excited as I answer and I can't help but smile at him.

"Okay?" He asks excitedly, standing up and pulling me with him in a tight hug.

"Yes, but I need to set some rules for right now." I tell him and he releases me gently.

"Sure, of course. What are they?" He asks intently.

"No physical contact until a time determined by me." I say, knowing this is going to probably make Charles upset. His eyes get big and then sad as he registers what I said. To my surprise he doesn't argue, he just nods and asks me what else.

"While we see where this goes, we don't put a label on it but we need to stay monogamous. I'm not going to be trying to figure this out with you while there's potentially someone else."

"I have no desire to be with anyone other than you." He replies and my stomach dips.

"And if that ever changes for any reason, please just sit down and tell me. Don't worry about hurting me, just be honest." I say and he furrows his brows.

"Okay mon soleil. Anything else?" He asks.

"Do you need me to sign a NDA?" He flinches as I ask him that and I furrow my brow in confusion. I figured it was a normal thing for famous people.

"Absolutely not. I trust you." He replies and I just nod in agreement because he seems angry.

"Do you have any rules you want to add?" I ask, trying to change the subject.

"Just one. I want you to come to this weekends race. It's in England, Silverstone." He says with a bright smile and I frown.

"Why are you frowning? I thought you would be excited." He asks in confusion.

"I don't have anything to wear." I confess as I try to think of possibilities in my wardrobe that I can wear. I come up with nothing. Everyone will be in designer clothes. I can't go in my cowboy boots and thrift store dress. Charles laughs at my distress and I narrow my eyes at him in annoyance.

"Lydia, it will be fine. We'll fly to London this afternoon and I'll take you shopping." He says simply, like it's the easiest solution. I'm about to argue but before I can say a word, Charles is kissing me. I melt into him without hesitation, our lips melding together as our mouths explore each other once again. I'm so lost in the kiss that I have forgotten I just told Charles that there would be no physical contact. A few moments later Charles pulls away with a satisfied smile while I'm dazed and turned on.

"Come on, let's go pack your bag." He says, grabbing my hand and leading me towards the living room. For the next thirty minutes, I pack a bag for England. Charles put on The 1975 awhile ago, and the song 'Fallingforyou' is playing quietly while Charles is lounging on the couch watching me fold my clothes and add them to my suitcase.

"If I ask you to dance, will you say yes?" He asks, making me whip my head toward him. I watch as he stands up and makes his way over to me and grabs me by the hips.

"You suck as this no physical contact thing LP." I tell him as I wrap my arms around his arms. Charles chuckles and starts moving us back and forth. For the next several minutes we sway back and forth while the song plays. By the end of the song we are wrapped in each others arms, with my head leaning against Charles' shoulder.

"Will you start adding songs to our playlist again?" He whispers as I start to pull away from him.

"Yes, I will." I reply, and breaking my own rule, I lean in toward Charles and give him a kiss. I keep it short and sweet, but when I pull away from him we're both smiling like goofs.

An hour later, I'm done packing and Charles is loading my bag into his rental car. When we pull out of the parking lot of my apartment and onto the road heading to the airport I laugh at Charles muttering under his breath about how slow the car is. He turns to look at me with a smile, and I melt when I see his dimples on full display. I look away from him with a deep breath and I hear him chuckle under his breath.

"Regretting your no physical contact rule?" He asks sarcastically.

"Yes, actually I am. I'm thinking I should have said no physical contact in public and limited physical contact in private." I answer truthfully. Charles' head whips towards me.

"What would limited contact be?" He asks as he licks his lips.

"Hmm. I guess kissing, holding hands, cuddling, some light petting." I answer with a smirk.

"I think we should change the rule then. Yeah, let's change it."

Instead of answering him with words, I silently grab his hand and twine our fingers together. A moment later, Charles holds up my hand to his lips and kisses it softly. My stomach fills with butterflies as his lips linger on my hand. We make it to the airport a few minutes later.

"You ready?" Charles asks me as we park in the drop off area for the rental car. I grab my baseball hat that I decided to bring with me last minute and put it on, followed by my sunglasses. I hate that I'm trying to hide my identity but I figured it was better this way, at least for now.

"Yes, let's go." I say as I step out of the car.

Charles grabs both of our bags from the trunk and we make our way into the airport side by side. We maybe should have talked about us flying together before getting to the airport but so far so good with no one approaching us. We make it through security quickly and find the first class lounge before our flight. I'm still annoyed that Charles paid for my flight and made it first class but he just keeps telling me I need to get used to it. I argued that I have money I can spend now that I'm not paying for Ezra so I could pay my share but he just stared at me like I was crazy.

"Speaking of Ezra, have you talked to him since your conversation?" Charles asks and I frown and shake my head in sadness. I realize I should probably tell him I'm going to England, even though I'm not sure he'll care. I pull out my phone to text him.

Me: Hey baby, just wanted to let you know that I'm going to Silverstone with Charles.

Ezra: Okay.

My eyes fill with tears as I read his response, or lack thereof. Charles must be able to tell I'm upset because he pulls me against his side so my head can rest on his shoulder. I feel him kiss the top of my head and I cherish the feeling of safety I get from him. After a few moments I move away from him though, not because I want to but because we are in public and I'm sure there are people who already got photos of us.

"I wish I could kiss you right now." I whisper as I turn to face him in my seat. He bites his lip as he stares at me.

"You're killing me mon soleil." He whispers back and I have to look away from him otherwise I may actually kiss him. The way he is looking at me is driving me crazy. Charles laughs lightly beside me and I roll my eyes. I decide to distract myself from him, that I would figure out a few songs to add to our playlist since he asked me to start adding again.

While I'm distracted doing that, Charles scrolls on his phone. I hear him curse under his breath and see him look around. Looking at him, I furrow my brows in confusion. He holds his phone out for me to see and I see a photo of us when I was leaning against him and he was kissing my head. I figured that wouldn't be a private moment. Charles looks tense as he stares in the area the photo was taken. There's a younger girl, probably in her early 20's sitting there staring at us.

"Charles, it's okay. We're bound to be photographed when we're in public." I tell him, trying to calm him down.

"It's not okay, Lydia." He practically growls at me and my stomach sinks. Does he not want to be seen with me?

"Then you shouldn't have invited me to come with you. This was a bad idea and if I go to the race it will make everything worse." I say while grabbing my hat to put back on and start to stand to take my bag and leave. Before I can fully stand up, Charles grabs my arm stopping me. I sit back down and turn to face him again.

"That's not what I meant. I just hate that no one can mind their business and just let us be. You were already upset about your photo being taken before, now more photos of us together are going to keep coming out. I wish I could protect you." He whispers with frustration and I can't help but feel bad for him, for having to worry about this.

"Well, we'll just have to be careful about where we go together from now on to limit photographs. At least until we're ready to go fully public." I tell him and he frowns but agrees.

"I probably shouldn't be in the paddock this weekend." I add because if I'm seen in the paddock it will become worse and I am not ready to go fully public with him yet, we've only been on one date. Besides we haven't even talked about what we are because labels cause too much stress.

"You're probably right." He replies sadly, and I can tell he wishes things were different.

"It will be good because I certainly don't have the fashion for the paddock." I laugh trying to break the tension.

"That's not true. I am having some things sent over to our hotel room so you have some new things you can wear this weekend." He replies and I narrow my eyes. We already argued about this earlier, I shouldn't be surprised that I lost though. But...

"Wait, our hotel room?" I ask thinking I maybe heard him wrong.

"I want to spend as much time with you as I can to make up for the past week of me being an idiot. It's a suite with two bedrooms so you'll have your own space." He tells me and I pretend to think it over, like I'm not actually okay with it.

"What if I didn't want my own room?" I ask after a few moments. Charles whips his head to me and I can't help but laugh at his expression.

"There you go killing me again mon soleil." He whispers, just as an announcement comes over the intercom letting us know that we will be boarding our flight in the next couple of minutes. I give Charles a wink before standing up and gathering my things.

Chapter 10: A Sky Full of Stars

Chapter Text

We've made it to our hotel which is about 30 minutes from the race track. It's Thursday, so Charles is at the track doing media while I'm sitting in our room, debating on what I should do while I wait for him to return. The past few days have been wonderful with Charles, we've just been taking the time to get to know each other better. I've even had a minor breakdown about Ezra and my parents to which he handled perfectly.

When we got to the hotel there was a rack of clothing waiting for me, just like he promised there would be. Along with shoes, purses and even some jewelry. I balked at the prices of everything, telling Charles to have everything returned but he wouldn't hear any of it, saying it was only worth about the amount he makes in an hour. It wasn't until later when I had a minute alone that I looked up his net worth and nearly collapsed when I realized he was telling me the truth. Charles found me having yet another minor breakdown and laughed when I told him why. He just reiterated that he wants to spoil me and to let him without freaking out over it.

I'm having a hard time accepting that because I've been struggling to make money for the past 16 years and seeing the amount that he can drop in the matter of minutes is insane to me. Even growing up with wealthy parents didn't prepare me for him. He left me this morning letting me know if I wanted to go to the hotel spa I could and to just charge everything to the room. I'm tempted to do it but I can't help but feel guilty. So I'm sitting on our bed, that we've been sharing since we got here, debating on whether or not I should go to the spa. 'A Sky Full of Stars' by Coldplay is playing quietly from my phone but it's interrupted by my phone dinging.

Charles: Have you gone to the spa yet?

Me: Not yet, still debating on going or not.

Charles: Mon soleil...

Me: LP...

Charles: Max's girlfriend is coming by the room so the two of you can go to the spa together. She should be there in five minutes.

Me: I hate you.

Charles: 😘❤️

True to his word, there's a knock on the hotel door five minutes later. I open it to find a beautiful brunette with piercing blue eyes similar to mine, who looks like she's a model. I'm immediately intimidated, especially when I get a good look at her outfit. She's in head to toe Louis Vuitton and she looks absolutely amazing.

"You must be Lydia! I'm Kelly, Max's girlfriend!" She says with a friendly smile, no hint of fakeness from her at all. I smile in return, feeling much less stressed after her greeting.

"It's so great to meet you! I love your outfit." I tell her as I glance over the outfit once more, admiring the matching set. It's a black and white sequin striped knit skirt and tank top set. In comparison, my black linen shorts and tan and black checkered linen top from Reformation are much more casual. I silently thank Charles for buying me new clothes so I don't look like a total hobo next to Kelly.

"Thank you! Yours is great too, I love the linen." She compliments and I can't help but smile even brighter at her.

"Let me go put on some shoes and grab my phone. I'll be right back." I tell her, quickly walking to our room and slipping on my new black Ted Baker quilted magnolia buckle sandals and grabbing my phone from where I left it on the bed.

I find Kelly where I left her and we head down to the spa. When we arrive they take us to the back immediately once Kelly said who she was. After we tell them what services we want, they hand us bath robes and tell us to get changed. We each chose to get a massage, facial, manicure and pedicure. Once we change we are led into a room where there are two massage tables sitting side by side. We climb onto them and get comfortable while we wait for our massage therapists to arrive. A few moments later two women walk into the room and we get started. I've never had a massage before so this is new to me, and it's definitely something I could get used to. After the hour is done, I'm feeling so wonderful. My body has never felt like this, I've never been this relaxed before.

The next thing we do is the facials, which again I've never had done before and again it's something I could get used to. My skin has never looked as good as it does now and I have to keep reminding myself that this isn't going to be a normal thing for me, it's just for now. Throughout the two services, Kelly and I haven't really gotten to talk much due to us being so relaxed and enjoying our time. Now that we are getting our pedicures and manicures though, we have been getting to know one another. I find out that she's 34 and Max is 25 almost 26 like Charles. I also find out that she has a three year old daughter, Penelope, who is not Max's but another drivers. Her and Max have been together for two years and they sound like they are very happy.

I tell her about Ezra and how I had him when I was only 14 and have been on my own since then, confessing that I've never experienced wealth like this and I wasn't sure how to handle it. I told her how I'm a professor and how Charles and I met, and then met again. She was laughing hysterically when I told her I ran away from him the first night we met and how Charles later confessed to me that he drove around looking for me before finally giving up. By the time we have our nails done, I feel like I've gained a new friend. The first one I've had in a really long time.

We decide to grab a late lunch when we walk out of the spa and head over to the hotels restaurant. Kelly and I are comparing our manicures as we sit down, she chose to stay neutral with a pale pink and I ended up getting thin red french tips. As we place our drink order, my phone vibrates on the table with an incoming text.

Charles: Leaving the track now. What are you up to? Are you still with Kelly?

Me: Just finished at the spa and now we are getting drinks and a late lunch.

Charles: Would you two like some company? I'm actually driving back with Max.

Me: I guess that would be okay LP 😉😘

Charles: See you soon mon soleil. ❤️

When I look up from my phone Kelly is smiling at me knowingly and I can't help but laugh at getting caught smiling like a fool because of a boy, and a younger boy at that.

"What is with these younger guys making us act this way?" I laugh and shake my head.

"I don't know, but they are pretty wonderful." She says wistfully and I can't help but agree.

We get our drinks and decide to wait for the boys before ordering food since they probably haven't gotten to eat because of being busy with media. I'm in the middle of telling Kelly about how Ezra first got into karting when the boys arrive. Kelly introduces me to Max as he sits down next to me after he gives Kelly a soft kiss. Charles takes the seat across from me, next to Kelly. I give Charles a smile to which he returns, with his dimples out on full display.

Before we can break out into conversation the waiter approaches the table and asks for our order. Once we're done ordering Kelly turns to me and tells me to continue my story. But before I could, the boys interrupt and tell me I have to start from the beginning.

"So Ezra was 5 when he first started karting. I was working two jobs then, so Ez was with a lot of different people who were willing to help me out. One of which being my boyfriend at the time. He was one of the top karting drivers in Texas and whenever he had Ezra, he would take him karting. That began the obsession and I did everything in my power to make it happen for him. It was exhausting for me and every penny I earned went into karting. I finally got a reprieve when he was around 10 and was invited to join the team he's currently on. The sponsors covered most everything except for around $20,000 a year. So for the past 5 years I was paying that, on top of going to college to get my bachelors and masters degrees. For 5 years, up until about 6 months ago I lived in Texas while Ezra lived in Italy." I tell them and all three stare at me in shock. Feeling embarrassed, I clear my throat and smile awkwardly as I grab my drink to take a long swig.

"So let me get this straight, you spent the last five years away from your son just so he could have the karting career he's wanted since he was 5?" Max asks, surprise in his voice and I furrow my brows, confused about why he seems surprised.

"Yes, I guess I could have moved with him and found a job in Italy instead of staying in Texas for college but it was important to me to get a degree after I thought it was going to be impossible after my parents disowned me at 14 when they found out I was pregnant." I confess which makes Kelly and Max even more shocked.

"And I thought my father was f*cked up. Wow, you are amazing Lydia. Ezra is lucky to have you." Max tells me and my eyes tear up as I think about our last conversation and how he probably no longer thinks he's lucky to have me. Charles catches my eye and gives me a reassuring smile to which I try to return. Luckily Kelly and Max are now talking about Penelope and how they don't think they could ever do what I had to with Ez so they don't notice me wiping a stray tear that escaped my eye.

A few minutes later our food gets delivered and we dig in, the boys now talking about media and the upcoming race. I'm quiet as everyone else talks, lost in my thoughts of Ezra and my parents. I miss my kid and I hate that we haven't talked in days. I'm used to talking to him at least once a day of not more and I'm so angry that my parents have created this issue between us.

Once we're done eating we go our separate ways but not before Kelly and I get each others phone numbers. We promise to see each other tomorrow at the track and head to our prospective rooms. As soon as Charles and I are in our room, I wrap my arms around him, needing his comfort and safety. He pulls me tightly against him and whispers words in French that I don't understand. I let go of him after a few minutes and take a step back.

"Thank you." I whisper as I stare deeply into his eyes.

"For what?" He asks with confusion.

"For being here for me during my emotional breakdowns and for spoiling me with beautiful clothes and luxurious spa treatments. But mostly, thank you for just being so wonderful."

He takes a step towards me and grabs me by the hips, pulling me towards him. My stomach dips as he bends forward and kisses me. I melt into the kiss and I wrap my hands into his hair, pulling gently as I deepen the kiss. We still haven't done anything beyond kissing but I think I'm finally ready to move to the next step. I drag my hands from his hair, down his back and around his hips, towards the button of his jeans. Kissing him deeply, I slowly undo his jeans so they are hanging open off his hips. His hands are now tangled into my hair, and his tongue is massaging against mine in such a seductive manor that I can't help but moan.

Before he can realize what I'm doing, I fall to my knees in front of him and pull his jeans and underwear down gently. His penis is now at eye level with me and as I wrap my hand around it, slowly running my hand along the length, his hands in my hair grip tighter which makes my puss* clench. After another stroke of his penis, I lean forward and lightly suck in the tip, swirling my tongue before fully sucking him into my mouth. The moans that we both release are loud. I look up at him to see him staring down at me with sexy hooded eyes. Taking him deeper into my mouth, I maintain our eye contact.

"Putain, tu es parfait. Je perds la tête." He whispers as he continues to stare down at me. I have no idea what that means but his speaking French is incredibly sexy. It makes me work harder, and faster at what I'm doing, hoping that I'll hear more. As I start sucking him off in earnest now, his grip in my hair tightens even more and I can tell he's close to coming apart for me. He tells me as much and tries to pull away but I hold tightly to his hips, letting him know I want him to finish in my mouth. After one last deep suck, he's exploding into my mouth.

"Je ne peux pas croire que tu es à moi." He says after I release him from my mouth. Grabbing my arms, he pulls me up towards him and kisses me deeply. After a few moments, I have to pull away because I'm breathless. Charles takes advantage and moves his lips to my neck, kissing along my clavicle up to my ear. My body is tingling, I'm so turned on. I'm about to beg Charles to start touching me when he lets go of me completely.

"Go lay down on the bed." He tells me gruffly and I feel my puss* clench in anticipation of what's to come. It's been a long time since I've been with anyone, the last time being in Texas. I quickly make my way to the bed and I lay down like he asked me to. I watch as he kicks off his jeans and pulls up his boxer briefs. He stands across the room staring at me, his gaze contemplative and thoughtful.

"What are you thinking about?" I ask with curiosity as I lean back on my elbows.

"I'm trying to decide what I want to do to you." He says darkly and I have to press my thighs together because his words go straight to my puss*.

"I don't care what you do. I just need you to do something Charles. Please." I beg, desperate for him to touch me and annoyed that he's just standing across the room staring at me. His expression turns wicked when he hears me begging and I want to hate how f*cking sexy he is but I can't.

"Take off all of your clothes. I want to see you." He says darkly and I hesitate for only a moment before I do as I'm told. I stand up from the bed and while maintaining eye contact with him, I start removing my clothes. I start with my shirt and bra, followed by my shorts and underwear. Charles' eyes roam over my body and I try my hardest not to feel self conscious.

"You're so f*cking beautiful. Lay down for me mon soleil, let me see how wet you are for me." He tells me, as he takes a few steps toward me. My puss* clenches again at the anticipation. I follow his order and lay on the bed again, making sure to spread my legs so he can see everything. After a few more steps Charles is finally standing in front of me, his eyes focused on my puss*. I watch him as he slowly slides a finger along my folds, eliciting a loud moan from me when he brushes my cl*t. I'm breathing hard and my eyes are heavy as I watch him bring the finger to his mouth and suck on it. f*ck that's sexy.

"Charles, please." I whine, needing him to do more, give me more. Something in my voice must snap him into action because the next thing I know his tongue is swiping along my folds instead of his finger and I'm nearly coming on the spot. His tongue feels like bliss, and I'm at his complete mercy. I'm clutching onto the sheets as he starts licking and sucking me harder. I can feel my body getting close, but I need something else. Charles must read my mind because the next thing I know, one of his hands is massaging my breast and tweaking my nipple between his fingers. I moan loudly as my puss* spasms against his tongue in release. My org*sm rocks me to the core and I'm nearly crying from how hard I come.

"Oh my god. Holy f*ck!" I say breathlessly, as I start coming down from the high. Charles is still leisurely licking me and I can't take it anymore. I grab his face and force him to come level with mine. He climbs on top of me carefully and stares down at me. I stare at him for a moment, both of us breathing hard. I'm so overwhelmed for some reason, and I'm not sure how to compute my feelings so instead of trying to talk, I bring Charles face to mine and kiss him.

Chapter 11: Streets

Chapter Text

It's been a whirlwind weekend and I've never had so much fun. It's currently Sunday night after the race and I'm waiting at the club with Kelly, Carmen, Kika and Lily for the guys to arrive. Max ended up getting P1, followed by Lando in P2, and Charles in P3. I spent most of my time over the weekend in Ferrari hospitality away from prying eyes but I was fortunate enough that Kelly was able to introduce me to the other girls. I have never had so many women in my life and I hope that I can make great friendships with these girls.

We are currently drinking tequila shots, and I have a feeling tonight is going to be very interesting. Kelly just got a text from Max that the guys are on their way. I'm anxious because I'm not sure how I should act when I see Charles. I can't kiss him like I want to in case someone takes a photo. I'm hoping that he doesn't want to stay too long so we can go up to our room and celebrate just us two. Ever since our first hookup on Thursday, we've fooled around everyday and it's been the most satisfying fun, but I think I'm ready to take it to the next level.

Cheers erupt around the club and I look towards the entrance to see Charles, Max, George, Pierre, Alex, Lando and Carlos walk through the club towards our table. My eyes latch onto Charles and his are on mine as well. He immediately makes his way to me and I stand up to give him a hug.

"I'm so proud of you LP. I can't wait to celebrate just us two." I whisper seductively in his ear and I feel him shiver beneath me.

"Mon soleil, you're killing me in this dress. We may need to head upstairs soon so I can take it off you." He tells me as he releases me and looks my outfit up and down. I'm wearing a skintight red mini Reformation dress with lace up black heeled sandals and my hair is long and wavy.

"Hmm, I think that sounds like a good idea." I tell him as I bend down to the table and grab two shots of tequila, handing one to him. We cheers and down the shots, all while keeping eye contact. The sexual tension is palpable and I'm sure everyone can feel it.

"Charles, you gonna introduce me to your girl?" Pierre asks as he comes up to stand beside Charles and I. This starts a whole line of introductions. It's actually amazing that I get to meet so many drivers. When I get introduced to Carlos I fan girl for a minute because he's always been my favorite, much to Charles chagrin. I make sure to tell Lando congratulations and that Ezra is a huge fan of his and how I hope one day I hope they get to meet. He offered to come see one of Ezra's races and I let him know that next weekend he'll be in France racing and I was planning on attending. I let him know Charles would give him the details once I know more.

By the time introductions were made Charles looks like he's ready to drag me out of the club, but it seems like everyone is trying their hardest to keep us here. It's actually really funny, especially when Charles pouts about it. The girls are trying to get me to dance and I finally give in when a remix of 'Streets' by Doja Cat comes on. Us girls are on the middle of the dance floor dancing together but before long the boys are with us. Charles makes sure to keep his distance in case people are taking photos which there's no doubt they are. I wish I could dance with him but I'm not ready for the world to know about us yet.

By the end of the song, Charles' eyes have turned molten as he watched me and I feel my body responding to him. I think it's time that we head upstairs, so I turn to Kelly letting her know that I'm taking off. She gives me a knowing look and a wink and I can't help but flip her off with a bright smile. I quickly say goodbye to the rest of the girls and the guys and walk out of the club without making sure Charles is following me, I know he is. When I get to the lobby, I press the elevator button and wait for the doors to open. Once they do I step inside followed closely by Charles. He stands the farthest possible place away from me but once the door closes he's on me, pressing me up against the elevator wall and kissing me passionately. His hands are on my ass and one of my legs is wrapped around his waist giving him better access.

The moment the elevator dings though he's off of me, separating himself as we step out of the elevator and walk towards our room. Charles opens the door quickly and I slip inside as he follows me once more. Once inside it seems like all hell breaks loose. Charles slams me roughly against the hotel door and I can't help but be excited about it. No man has ever made me feel this way, has made me feel this wanted before.

"Charles, take me to the bed." I tell him pointedly so he understands my meaning. Without missing a beat he lifts me up so my legs are wrapped out him and he's walking us into our bedroom. He gently places me on the bed and climbs on top of me all while kissing along my neck and snaking one of his hands up my body. He's already driving me crazy with how badly I want him. I'm starting to get impatient so I grab the hem of his shirt and force it off of him. Next thing I do is unbutton his pants and push them and his boxer briefs down with my feet. He's gloriously naked above me now and I'm practically drooling over how sexy he is.

Charles finally snaps out of whatever spell he was under and is now working my dress over my body. He curses when he finds I'm not wearing a bra, only underwear.

"You're leaving the shoes on." He tells me as he slowly removes my underwear from my legs so now I'm naked as well minus my shoes.

"I have an IUD and I haven't been with anyone else besides you in over 6 months. So if you trust me we can skip the condom." I tell Charles and he practically looks giddy. It makes me smile. I pull him down toward me so I can kiss him and he willingly comes to me. As we kiss I feel myself growing wet so I spread my legs, indicating to Charles that I'm ready for him. A moment later Charles is slowly entering me and I've never felt anything so good before. My mouth falls open in bliss as Charles starts to move inside of me. He rests his forehead against mine as he picks up the momentum and we are both starting to breath heavy. My hand tangles into his hair and I tug gently causing him to moan so sexily that I feel my puss* tightening against his co*ck.

"Mon soleil, tu te sens tellement bien." He whispers and I nearly come from his words even though I don't understand them.

"Charles, I'm getting so close. I need more. Please." I tell him as I start feeling my body getting closer and closer.

"Come for me Lydia, give me this." He grits out while massaging my cl*t with one hand and pinching my nipple with the other. He gave me no warning and my org*sm comes flying out of me so aggressively that I can't control my volume. I'm sure the whole floor can hear my moans but I can't bother being embarrassed by it because Charles is staring down at me like I've hung the moon and it's spectacular. I'm still coming down from my org*sm when Charles picks up his pace and becomes more erratic in his movements. A moment later I feel him coming apart inside of me and the most sexy moans are coming out of his mouth that I feel myself coming again just from the sounds he's making. He looks down at me in question as we ride out the rest of our org*sms together.

Charles pulls out of me a few moments later and falls to the bed beside me. We look at each other at the same time, both of us breathing hard but f*ck I've never been happier than in this moment with Charles.

"Congratulations on P3, LP." I whisper as I roll to my side to face him, running my hand across his chest.

"Thank you mon soleil, but is that really what you want to talk about right now?" He asks with a light chuckle and I smile.

"I mean I will wax poetics about your co*ck if you want." I tease to which Charles rolls his eyes at me.

"In all seriousness, I've never been as happy as I am in this moment with you. You're everything I didn't know I needed or wanted." I confess, not able to look him in the eye as I do though. His hand grabs my chin so I'm forced to look at him and then he pulls me to his mouth and kisses me sweetly. He doesn't say anything back to my confession though. I try not to overthink it, and enjoy kissing him, and just being here with him. Eventually I pull away because I need to go to the bathroom to clean myself up.

When I make it to the bathroom I gently close the door and make my way over to the shower. After turning it on I stare at myself in the mirror while I wait for the water to heat up. My hair is a mess and my eye makeup is smudged. My lips are puffy and red from the kissing and I look thoroughly worked over. It makes me smile because I've never experienced sex like that. Charles makes me feel things I've never felt before and that's really scary, especially because I'm not really sure where he stands with his feelings. I know he likes me, likes taking care of me, but at this point I'm confused on whether or not his feelings go beyond just surface level.

I climb into the shower while I contemplate everything that's happened over the last few days. My fingers absentmindedly playing with the new bracelets Charles got me. One of them is the Cartier Love bracelet and the other is a lions head Gucci bracelet. Both are absolutely beautiful and extravagant. I stare down at them as water rushes over my head.

"Mon soleil? Are you okay?" Charles asks, scaring me out of my thoughts. I look up to see him staring at me at the shower door. He looks worried so I give him a smile letting him know I'm fine and then turn away from him to face the shower spray letting the hot water wash away all of my worries. I need to just live in the moment and enjoy it while it lasts.

Charles comes to stand directly behind me, his hands holding my hips gently, as he moves my now wet hair away from my neck on one side. Once the hair is out of his way, he kisses and licks along my neck slowly causing me to break out in goosebumps even with the hot water falling over us. I try to turn to face him but his hands hold me firmly in place.

He continues his glorious torture on my neck and I can feel Charles growing erection behind me. I moan as I press my ass against it and slowly grind against him. He makes me feel things I've never felt before and I only want more. My hand reaches between us and I find his penis, I start pumping it while he continues to lick and kiss along my neck. Eventually his movements stop as he focuses on what I'm doing to him instead. Before I can move another inch, Charles stops me.

"Bend over and put your hands against the wall." He tells me roughly and I do what he says. I feel him take a step away from me so I look over my shoulder to see what he's doing. He's staring at my ass while pumping his dick in his hand, he's so f*cking hot it's honestly ridiculous. He notices me watching him and he smirks wickedly as he finally takes a step back towards me and teases my opening with the head of his penis. I'm so worked up by the time he decides to push into me that I already feel an org*sm building up as he starts moving inside of me.

"The es tellement incroyable mon soleil, et je tombe amoureux de toi de plus en plus chaque jour." He tells me as he picks up his pace causing me to moan loudly. His hands grab ahold of my wet hair pulling it lightly and I feel myself coming around his co*ck for the third time in less than an hour. Charles is cursing and muttering things under his breath as he finds his own release just moments later. After one last pump, he releases my hair and pulls out of me slowly. I don't immediately stand though, needing a minute to get my breathing under control. A giggle releases from me as I finally stand up and turn back towards Charles.

"You young boys sure do have some intense sex drives." I joke as I grab the body wash and start washing Charles' body. Charles smirks at me as he licks his lips seductively. I shake my head with a smile as I continue to wash him. After I'm done with him he grabs the body wash and returns the favor, making sure how take extra care with my boobs and in between my legs. By the time we are stepping out of the shower I'm feeling so satisfied that all I want to do is sleep. Charles laughs at me when I jump into the bed in my robe and cuddle underneath the blankets, thoroughly cocooning myself meanwhile he lays down on top of the covers only wearing boxer briefs. He smirks devilishly at me when he sees me eyeing his body.

"You older girls sure do have some intense sex drive as well." He jokes and I smile, looking away from him with embarrassment because he's not wrong. I could totally go for another round right now.

"You don't have to be embarrassed mon soleil. I was only joking." He says as one of his hands finds my chin and forces me to look at him.

"I know. I'm not embarrassed for wanting you, I'm embarrassed that I've never known it could be like this with someone. This constant attraction and want...it's truthfully kind of overwhelming." I confess to him and I watch him closely to see how he'll react. I'm sure my confession will worry him, make him think that I'm falling harder than he is, which is probably true.

I have no doubt in my mind that he's experienced this before with past girlfriends so I'm not expecting him to confess the same thing to me but I do expect him to say something, anything about he might have enjoyed what we just did. I watch as he processes my words and tries to come up with something to say. After a moment he still hasn't said anything so I smile softly and turn my head away from him, his hand holding my chin drops away as I turn.

"I'm tired and my flight home is pretty early tomorrow, so I'm going to go to bed." I tell him as I get out of bed and head to my suitcase where my pajamas are. I take them into the bathroom, shutting and locking the door behind me and I take a deep breath before dressing and doing my nighttime routine. I try not to think about the fact that I was vulnerable with my feelings towards him twice, and both times he didn't say anything back. I'm not sure if he's still scared about us or if he's just not very open with his feelings. All I know is it's frustrating.

As I step out of the bathroom to head back to the bed, I hear Charles talking in the entryway. At first I think it's someone at the door, but then I realize he's on the phone when no one replies out loud. I make my way to the bed to get comfortable when I think I hear Charles say the name Charlotte, but he's speaking French so I'm not sure what he said. My ears perk up more to see if I can make out any words.

"Charlotte, tu ne devrais pas m'appeler. Je sais qu'on est amis mais ce n'est pas juste pour Joris." I hear, not understanding any of it besides Charlotte's and Joris' names. My brows furrow as I contemplate what they could be talking about. My mind immediately goes to something awful, but I trust Charles and don't think he would lie to me about him and Charlotte.

Something seems a little off though and I'm not sure what. A few moments later I hear him ending the call and I watch as he walks through the bedroom door, looking sexy but frustrated.

"Everything okay?" I ask as he climbs into the bed beside me.

"It's fine, just work stuff. I have to stay tomorrow to get some testing done on the track." He lies and my stomach drops. Why would he lie to me? I give him a soft smile hoping it hides the anger I feel. He smiles back at me and leans forward for a kiss goodnight. I turn to my side, facing away from him and to my surprise me pulls my body against his like I'm little spoon. After a minute I begin to relax but I'm unfortunately wide awake. Charles hasn't said a word so I assume he fell asleep.

"I'm going to miss you." He whispers, surprising me but I pretend like I'm asleep, quickly shutting my eyes. I don't know why I don't just say it back, because I am going to miss him. But with him lying to my face, I just can't bring myself to do it. Charles doesn't say anything more and eventually I fall asleep, not waking up until the following morning with Charles' arms still wrapped around me holding me tight.

Chapter 12: Collide

Chapter Text

I'm back home in Parma. I landed at the airport about two hours ago and took a cab back to my apartment. Charles and I haven't talked since I left this morning. He had to head to the track to do some stuff with his team and I had to catch my flight so we didn't really get to discuss much about what happened between us last night. I'm trying not to think too much about it because I don't want to stress myself out. Besides I'm a 30 year old woman, I can't be stressing over a boy who is only 25 even if I find him to be completely wonderful.

My goal for this week is to hopefully find a job and also get ready to go to France to see Ezra race. I'm still debating on letting him know I'm coming or not. I'm leaning more towards surprising him since things between us are still tense. Thinking of his race, I remember my conversation with Lando about possibly meeting me there for it. Grabbing my phone, I send a quick text to Charles not expecting him to reply quickly because I assume he's busy.

Me: Can I have Lando's number?

Charles: Why?

Me: I want to text him about going to Ezra's race this weekend, he mentioned maybe wanting to come and I told him I'm give him the info.

Charles: Why would he want to go to Ezra's race?

Me: I told him Ezra was a big fan and would love to meet him so he said he would try to come and watch his race since it's in France and you guys have the weekend off. Why are you being so weird?

Charles: I'm not being weird. Just give me the info and I'll tell him. He's still at the track too.

Me: I'll just ask Kelly to get it for me. I'm sure Max has it.

I wasn't expecting Charles to respond so quickly and I wasn't expecting him to respond this way. Is he jealous or just really protective of his friends' phone numbers? I'm about to text Kelly to ask for Lando's number when another text from Charles comes through, this one displaying a phone number who I'm assuming is Lando's. I shoot off a quick thanks and save the number to my phone. Once it's saved, I text him with the information.

Me: Hey Lando! It's Lydia, Charles friend. We talked last night about you maybe coming to see my son’s karting race this weekend in Paris. It's at RKC Karting and starts at 2pm.

Lando: Hey Lydia, I'm happy you texted! I would love to come watch Ezra race. How are you getting to Paris?

Me: Oh?? Well I'm glad I messaged then. I'm planning on flying out from Parma on Thursday :)

Lando: Yeah, I was trying to get yours from Charles last night but he was being weird about it for some reason. Why are you in Parma?

Before I can respond I get a text from Charles.

Charles: What are you and Lando texting about? He's smiling like a little school girl.

Me: He just said he asked you for my number last night but you were being weird about it.

Charles: That's because he wanted it so he could ask you out.

Me: Be serious.

Charles: I am being serious.

Me: Does he not know about us?

Charles: I may have told him it wasn't serious between us...

Me: Oh.

Charles: That was before what happened last night...

Me: I didn't think last night meant much to you.

Charles: Why would you say that?

Me: Both times I told you how I was feeling you didn't respond. You literally didn't say anything about what happened at all.

I'm staring at my phone waiting for him to respond. Instead my phone starts ringing in my hand, with Charles' name written across the screen requesting to FaceTime me. I take a deep breath before answering the call.

"Mon soleil, I am stupid." Charles tells me once our call connects and I can't help but smile at his choice of words, reminiscent of his famous radio feed from his crash in Azerbaijan.

"Why do you say that?" I ask because I'm not sure where he's going with this.

"For making you think that last night didn't mean what it did. I haven't stopped thinking about it...about you, since you left. I'm not sure how you didn't know that I'm starting to fall for you." He tells me and my heart soars knowing that he is feeling the same things as me. The smile that comes over my face is so big that it almost hurts. Charles stares at me intensely and continues.

"I realize now that I was probably talking in French not English while we were together. When I'm in the moment I tend to get distracted and default to French. And you were a distraction." He tells me as his eyes darken and he bites his lip. My puss* clenches at his reaction to remembering last night and I have to look away from him to get my bearings. This man is wicked. After a deep breath I look back towards him and see him smirking at me.

"Well thank you for setting the record straight. I'll let you get back to work." I tell him with a smile trying to get off the call so I don't make a fool of myself even more than I already have.

"Lydia?" Charles asks and I freeze. The way he says my name does something to me. He rarely calls me by my name so I know what he's about to say is important.

"Yeah Charles?" I ask in question.

"If Lando asks you out what are you going to tell him?" He asks me and I furrow my brow. Is this a trick question? I feel like it is, because we haven't talked about what we are yet. Sure we've had really amazing sex, we've both confessed to liking each other but we haven't determined our title.

"I'll tell him I have a boyfriend. As long as that's fine with you? He doesn't have to know it's you, although I'm sure he'll figure it out." I answer honestly, because even if Charles doesn't think of me as his girlfriend I still think of him as my boyfriend. I watch as Charles sighs in relief and a huge smile comes across his face, his dimples out on full display.

"I'm completely fine with that. So you're my girlfriend, f*ck I'm lucky." He says with excitement, his dimples somehow getting more prominent and I absolutely swoon.

"Those dimples of yours are going to be the death of me." I whisper as I smile back at him.

"Everything about you is going to be the death of me." He replies and I wish I could kiss him.

"I miss you. When will I see you next? We didn't really get to talk about it before I left." I ask.

"I miss you too mon soleil. I got used to having you with me the past days. I'll be back in Italy tomorrow evening so I'll come see you before heading to Maranello." He replies and butterflies fill my stomach thinking about how I'll get to see him tomorrow.

"Sounds good. I'll let you go for real now. I need to start my job search again anyways." I say and I see Charles frown. I roll my eyes because I know the argument that's about to happen. I hang up with a see you tomorrow and a blown kiss to him before he could try to talk me out of finding a summer job. When I look at my notifications I see I have another text from Lando.

Lando: Sorry that was nosy. Forget I asked.

Me: Sorry for the late reply, I was on the phone with Charles. I actually live in Parma!

Lando: If you don't mind me asking, what's the deal with you two?

Lando: I didn't realize you live in Parma, that's awesome!

Me: We're together.

Lando: Are you sure about that?

Me: Yes, I literally just talked to him about it.

Lando: [Image1]

Lando: That's Charlotte, Charles' ex girlfriend with him. From this morning at the track.

Me: So? Charles told me she just started dating Joris.

Lando: Joris isn't here Lydia.

Me: Well there is probably another reason she's there Lando. I trust Charles.

Lando: I hope you're right.

My stomach is in my butt as I stare at the photo of Charles and Charlotte. It certainly isn't good, especially after he lied to me last night about their conversation. But I need to trust Charles, especially after the conversation we just had. He wouldn't tell me he's falling for me if he wasn't, right? I take screen shots of Lando and my conversation and send them to Charles. I let him know I'm not upset, I just wanted him to know what Lando sent me and that he can explain to me tomorrow.

I don't hear from Charles until about an hour later. I'm currently taking a break from the job search and watching Yellowstone when my phone rings beside me.

"Hey LP." I answer with a smile.

"I just saw your texts. I can explain." He rushes out frantically.

"Charles, breathe. It's okay, I told you I'm not upset. I am confused though." I tell him, even though I am a little upset that is ex girlfriend seems to be constantly in the picture.

"She was invited to the race this weekend by some clothing brand she's an ambassador for. She asked if we could meet for breakfast and I told her I was needed at the track to make some practice laps. She insisted so I finally agreed and told her to meet me in Ferrari hospitality not thinking she would actually be allowed in but I guess she had a VIP pass." He rushes out and before I can respond he's starting again.

"She wanted to talk to me about her relationship with Joris although she spent most of the time asking me questions about who I was seen photographed with. We only were with each other for maybe 20 minutes before I left to go to the garage. I'm not sure why Lando felt the need to take that photo in the first place, but I swear nothing happened." He finishes explaining.

"Did you tell her about me? About us?" I ask because something tells me he didn't and I'm not sure how I feel about it. By his hesitation I know that he hasn't told her.

"Look Charles, I know you and her have a past and were together for along time. But if we want to move forward as an us, I'm gonna need you to tell her about us." I tell him because I don't want any drama and I feel like by not telling her there will be some even though they haven't been together for awhile now and she's dating his friend.

"I'll tell her. I promise." He tells me.

We talk for a few more minutes until he tells me he has to go to strategy meeting with his team and we say goodbye. When I end the call I do feel better about the situation, but I am still a little concerned about Charlotte and what kind of relationship they have. It seems like Charles is a little oblivious but whose to say. I'll just have to trust him and hope that nothing happens to end up hurting me.

Since I get to see him tomorrow, I decide that I need to head to the market to buy food so I can cook us dinner. With us not wanting to go public with our relationship just yet, staying in is our only option so I might as well make a yummy dinner for him. When I get to the market I pick up everything I'll need to make fried chicken since that's not really a thing in Europe. I also get the items to make a potato salad, honey butter biscuits and some corn on the cob. I also get a nice bottle of wine that the sommelier recommended when I described our meal to him.

By the time I trek back to my apartment I'm exhausted and ready to call it a day. Once all of my items are safely put away I admire my sunflowers that are still doing well. My dandelions are now hanging upside down getting dried because they didn't last while I was away. As I'm walking to my bed so I can lay down and continue watching Yellowstone I hear my phone ringing in my purse. Quickly finding it, I see that Ezra is calling me.

"Baby, hi!" I answer in excitement because I miss him.

"Mama! You'll never guess what happened today!" He tells me with equal excitement so I ask what happened.

"I got a new sponsor who is covering the additional amount you were covering and adding $50,000 on top to cover any other expenses that may come up!" He says and my jaw drops because that is great news!

"Wow baby, that is great news."

"The best part is they agreed to cover all expenses when I get to Formula 3 and even once I get into the Ferrari Academy." He adds and I'm completely shocked.

"Who is the sponsor?" I ask tentatively, hoping to not show how skeptical I am of it all.

"HPL Racing." He says and I furrow my brows because I've never heard of it. I make a note to check it out when I get off the phone.

"That is so amazing baby. I'm so happy for you!" I gush because I am happy for him, I'm also happy for me because now I don't have to worry about paying for anything now that sponsors are covering it all. It's a much better option than my parents money going into his career.

"Thanks Mama. Now you don't need to worry about finding a summer job and I won't have to use Grandma and Grandpas money." He says, and now my happy mood is gone. I'm so angry that my parents are even being brought up right now, that they are even apart of our lives.

"Yeah, that's great." I reply sadly.

"I was going to surprise you, but since we're on the phone I'll just tell you. I'm coming to see your race this weekend in Paris. Lando Norris might also be there." I say, changing the subject.

"Holy crap! You're kidding, right? Lando Norris?! Coming to my race...to see me?" He asks and I laugh.

"Thanks baby! Really appreciate the excitement to seeing your Mama there."

"Of course I'm excited you're coming, but it's Lando f*cking Norris, Mama!" He counters.

"Language!" I chide even though I think it's funny.

"Sorry Mama. I'm just excited. You know how much I love him."

"I know, that's why I invited him. But he is a busy guy so I'm not 100% sure if he'll make it." I tell him because I'm not sure Lando will come after our text conversation earlier.

"I don't care! The fact that he knows I exist is crazy. Next time I see Charles I'll have to thank him for giving you a chance at your old age so that this could happen." He laughs and I scoff.

"You better watch yourself kid or I'll tell all of the drivers I've met that you wet your bed until you were 8 years old." I threaten and his laughter instantly dies down.

The rest of our conversation is about which drivers I met over the weekend and when he'll be able to meet them. I told him I would talk to Charles about getting him paddock passes for next weeks race since Ezra has a break in his schedule. We end up talking for an hour and by the time I'm off the phone, I feel like a huge weight is off my shoulders. I hated not talking to Ez and I'm glad that we're back to normal.

I fall asleep before I could remember to look up that sponsor and by the time I wake up in the morning I forget what the name was. I'll have to ask Ezra again this weekend. This morning I made the potato salad in preparation of dinner. Then I make sure that the apartment is spotless. I talk to Charles briefly right before he jumps on his flight and then I decide that I need to get ready for the night. Grabbing my phone I put on 'Collide' by Justine Skye and get dressed in one of the new dresses Charles got me. It's from Reformation and it's a mini dress that's red with little white flowers all over it. It's adorable and comfortable. I keep my makeup minimal and my hair stays down and wavy. Since we aren't going anywhere I am barefoot.

When I finally open the door to Charles, I immediately grab ahold of him and drag him inside. He laughs at me as I shut the door but I don't give him a chance to say anything before my lips are on his. He kisses me back just as fiercely as I am kissing him and i begrudgingly pull away from him when I hear my phone timer going off in the kitchen. I make my way to the kitchen and pull out the chicken and biscuits from the oven.

"Wow that smells amazing." Charles tells me as I close the oven and check the temperature of the chicken, making sure that it's cooked all the way through. I turn towards him once I'm satisfied with the temperature and see him staring at where my ass just was. I snicker and shake my head at him when he sees I've caught him.

"Thanks! We're having a true American meal tonight. Fried chicken, honey butter biscuits, corn and potato salad!" I tell him excitedly and he smiles as me as I dance around the kitchen excitedly.

"Sounds amazing. What's for dessert?" He asks darkly but I don't catch his pointed stare at my private area.

"sh*t! I didn't get anything for dessert..." I trail off, and turning to my freezer to see if I have any ice cream. Before I can open the door Charles hands are on my hips and turning me toward him.

"You can be my dessert mon soleil." He whispers against my ear which causes my body to break out in goosebumps. I melt against him and my puss* clenches in anticipation.

"Oh." I say as I clear my throat, trying to gather my wits. Charles just smirks at me and now I don't even want dinner. I wonder if I can convince him to have dessert first. Before I can even say a word to ask him, he's lifting me up and placing me on the countertop, and moving me so my ass is right on the ledge. He spreads my legs wide and bends down in front of me. My breath hitches as he drapes my legs over his shoulders and lifts my dress slightly to see that I'm not wearing underwear.

"f*ck Lyd, are you trying to kill me?" He groans out and I can't help but smile.

"Maybe." I reply with a laugh but it's quickly gone when Charles' mouth is on my puss*. I moan loudly as I feel his tongue flatten against my folds. My hands grip the ledge so tightly, partially so I don't slip and fall, but mainly because what he's doing feels so good that I need something to center me. Charles continues his devouring and I can feel myself getting close.

"Charles, I'm going to come." I moan out breathlessly. At this confession Charles moves his mouth off of me and I groan in frustration and look down at him with confusion. He just looks up at me smirking and with a wicked look in his eyes and I rest my head on the cabinet behind me in frustration. I'm about to start begging when I feel one of his fingers enter my vagin* and I moan loudly yet again because everything he does just feels amazing. He starts pumping in and out faster and faster and I feel myself getting close again. Charles must sense this because he removes his finger and looks up at me again with that same smirk.

"Are you trying to kill me?" I ask.

"Maybe." He replies, using my same response against me and I feel like I could cry I'm so turned on. I'm about to jump off the counter so I can go to the bathroom and get myself off when Charles finally puts his mouth on me again. This time he sucks and licks until I'm moaning his name like it's my lifeline. My body is so worked up from his edging me, that when he enters his finger while his mouth is still on me, I fall apart like never before.

I swear I can see stars as I fall over the edge into complete and utter bliss. I have to push Charles off of me when it gets to be too much. When I look at him, I am shocked. He's covered in my wetness and I shouldn't think that's hot but I totally f*cking do. I pull him towards me and kiss him desperately to which he fully participates with no issues.

"That was the most delicious dessert." He says once I finally let him go and I can feel my cheeks warm, and I'm sure they are bright pink.

"Can I have my dessert?" I whisper when I look down and see his penis straining against his jeans.

"Not yet. Let's have dinner first." He tells me and then helps me carefully off the countertop. I'm shocked he told me no, so it takes me a minute to focus on getting dinner onto plates for us. We end up sitting at the small dining table while we eat and talk. I tell Charles about Ezra's new sponsor and how it almost seems too good to be true. He told me to just enjoy it and let it happen, that Ezra and I deserve it and to stop second guessing it. Then we talk about our plans for the next month or so.

Now that I don't have to work, Charles is trying to talk me into traveling with him to the next two races and then come summer break, spend the time with him in Monaco and Sardinia. I want to say yes, but I have Ezra to think about. Charles tells me that Ezra can come with us since it will be his summer break as well. When I started to protest Charles told me that Arthur would be around so Ezra wouldn't be alone or a third wheel. I told Charles I would have to ask Ez before making a decision but we both know it's going to happen, Ezra wouldn't be saying no.

The rest of the night is spent by Charles cleaning the dishes and my kitchen, then we head to the couch/my bed where Charles proceeded to make me come two more times. By the time we're both completely satisfied, it's late and I'm falling asleep in Charles arms as he gently traces his fingers along my arm. My last thought before I drift off to sleep is that I could get used to this.

Chapter 13: No Sleep

Chapter Text

Ezra spots me after his race, which he placed first in. He jogs over to me and I wrap my arms around him tightly as I tell him congratulations on his win. He thanks me, but seems distracted looking around at the surrounding people. I frown when I realize he's looking for Lando. Unfortunately Lando isn't here, he texted me last night telling me something came up and he has to stay in England to do something for McClaren. I'm not sure I believe him, because Charles mentioned something about him going back to Monaco.

"He couldn't make it baby. I'm sorry. I promise that you'll get to meet him soon enough though." I tell him with a smile. I'm anxious to talk to him about Charles' and I's plan for the next several weeks.

"Did anyone come with you?" He asks and I know he's implying Charles since I mentioned that he might come with me.

"Not to the race, no. But back at the hotel there is someone waiting to see you." I tell him.

Charles and I agreed that it would be better if he stayed away from the race since we've already been photographed multiple times. We both didn't want to cause a ruckus or honestly get any more photos of us out there quite yet.

"There's actually something we want to talk to you about. So when you're all done here we'll head back to the hotel?" I ask and he gives me a bright smile and tells me he just needs to go talk to the team and get things settled with them, then he'll be ready to go.

About 30 minutes later Ezra and I are walking towards the Audi R8 that Charles' rented for our time here in France. Ezra asks if he can drive and I laugh at how he thinks that I'll actually let him. He begrudgingly climbs into the passenger seat as I step into the drivers seat.

"This is definitely an upgrade to your crappy car." He mutters as he puts his seatbelt on. I roll my eyes as I do the same and start the car. I tell Ezra to link his phone so he can play music while I drive us back into Paris to the hotel that Charles and I are staying at. After a few minutes, Ezra finally puts on 'No Sleep' by Martin Garrix.

"So what do you and Charles want to talk to me about? It seems very serious." Ezra asks after a few minutes of driving.

"It's about summer break. Charles has invited us to Monaco and Sardinia." I tell him not being able to keep it a secret from him any longer. I hope it is okay with him, because the more I think about it, the more I want to do it. Spending time with Charles is easy and if he's willing to have us create these memories with him in these amazing places who am I to say no? Besides, he's constantly telling me to let him spoil me.

"No f*cking way!" Ezra yells in excitement.

"Language!" I laugh because at this point, why do I even try?

"Come on Mama, I'm almost 16! Let me cuss. I know you secretly think it's funny." He whines and I try so hard to not laugh but fail miserably.

For the rest of the ride back to Paris, which takes about an hour we talk about what we think Monaco might be like and how we're sure we'll stick out like sore thumbs there. By the time we are walking into the hotel Ezra is wired and ready to go to Monaco already. I have to practically drag him to the suite we have. When we walk into the room, Charles is sitting on the couch in the living area of the suite looking at something on his phone with furrowed brows. He looks towards us when we approach and his face instantly relaxes as he sees me, a bright smile coming across his face with his dimples on full display. Butterflies erupt in my stomach and I wonder if I'll ever get used to him looking at me that way.

"Mon soleil, I'm glad you're back. Ezra congratulations, I was able to see parts of your race on my phone." Charles tells us as he stands up. He gives me a quick kiss on the mouth and then turns to Ezra and gives him a big hug. My heart expands 100 times over as I watch them together. They start talking about Ezra's race so I excuse myself to Charles and I's room so I can put my things down and freshen up in the bathroom.

When I return Charles is telling Ezra more about our plan. Since the karting summer break is a bit different times than Formula 1, we are still trying to figure out the best way to have this vacation. Our plan is for the next two weekends, Ezra will go to both Grand Prix's with Charles and Arthur. I'll be going to Hungary with them, but will head back to Italy before Belgium so I can pack and make sure our apartment is secure and safe. From there I will meet the boys in Sardinia where we'll spend a week. Once that week is done, we'll spend the next two weeks in Monaco before coming back to Italy. Ezra is stoked when he hears the plan and is already on the phone with Arthur talking excitedly. Charles turns to me then with a wink and I practically melt.

"Come with me mon soleil. I have some gifts for you." Charles says, leading me towards our bedroom. Ezra seems to have already found his room because I can no longer hear him.

"Gifts? Charles, you need to stop. You've already given me so much." I tell him as he sets me down on the edge of the bed and then walks to his suitcase. He walks back toward me with two small boxes.

"I'm never going to stop." He tells me as he hands the boxes to me. I roll my eyes as I set one of the boxes down on the bed so I can open them one at a time. I slowly take the lid off the first box and inside is a jewelry box. My eyes narrow at Charles but he just smiles at me. I crack the lid open to the jewelry box and inside is a beautiful necklace. It has two small gold and silver chains with a dandelion charm on them. My eyes water as I stare at it. How did he find this? I look up at him then to see him looking at me in a way that overwhelms me. He gently takes the box from my hands and takes the necklace out. Then he's wrapping it around my neck and clasping it, once he's done he releases it and steps back admiring it around my neck while I admire him.

"Thank you, I love it." I whisper trying to get my feelings in check.

"You're welcome. You have one more to open." He says with a smile, and I turn to grab the second box.

This one is also a jewelry box, but instead of a necklace inside of the box, it's a ring. One of the most gorgeous rings I've seen and one that I would pick for myself if I was given the opportunity. It's a gold flower with small diamonds at the center. My breath hitches as I stare down at it.

"This is too much Charles." I whisper while still staring at the ring.

"Lydia, it's not too much. I was out shopping earlier for my friends birthday and came across the jewelry store that was selling these. I instantly thought of you when I saw them and wanted to get them for you. It will make me happy to see you wearing them." He tells me as he grabs the ring out of the box and grabs my right hand and places it on my pointer finger. I immediately stand so I'm face to face with him and I kiss him passionately, letting him know how much I love the gifts. We're starting to get hot and heavy when I hear Ezra.

"Can you guys not do that when I'm here?" He asks and Charles and I fly away from each other. I'm so embarrassed because how did I forget Ezra was here? Charles is only making matters worse because he can't stop laughing which is making Ezra laugh along with him. I narrow my eyes at the both of them in annoyance but they won't stop.

"If you're just going to stand there and laugh at me, you can have your gifts back." I say angrily as I take off the ring from my finger and toss it on the bed. I'm working on getting the necklace off when Charles stops laughing and pulls my arms away from the necklace so I can't take it off. The next thing I know the ring is back on my finger too and he's wrapping his arms around me and whispering how sorry he is but I can still hear the amused tone in his voice and can see the cheeky smile he's trying to hide. Ezra is just watching us like we're the grossest thing he's ever seen.

"Why don't you guys go out and get some dinner?" I suggest to them because I'm still annoyed with them, besides Charles and I are trying to limit how often we are seen together.

"What about you?" Ezra asks in confusion.

"Charles and I don't want to be photographed in public anymore than we already have. I'll stay here and relax while you two go bond or whatever." I tell him.

"Like father, son bonding?" Ezra asks seemingly innocent but by the gleam in his eye I know he's trying to cause mischief. I glance at Charles to see his expression, which is complete shock and terrified. I can't help but laugh at his expression even though it somewhat makes me sad which is completely ridiculous.

"Stop trying to scare my boyfriend away, Ez. I really like him and want him to stick around if possible." I tell him pointedly and in my peripherals I see Charles' head whip towards me. I'm not sure if it's because I called him my boyfriend or if it's because I said I really like him but I ignore his stare regardless.

"He didn't scare me!" Charles whines and I finally look at him to see he looks completely offended that I said he was scared. I roll my eyes because he was completely scared.

"You were terrified dude!" Ezra laughs like Charles just said the funniest thing in the world.

"I was not terrified, just surprised you said that. Come on then, let's go bond." Charles replies, his gaze leaving mine and finding Ezra's.

They end up leaving a few minutes later to go grab dinner. Charles told me they would bring something back for me but I told him not to worry about it since I filled up with junk food at Ezra's race and wasn't hungry. Once they are gone, I decide to run myself a nice hot bubble bath. I can't remember the last time I was able to take a bath since our apartment is so tiny and last week with Charles in England, they didn't have a bathtub for some reason. For the next hour I soak in lavender scented water with bubbles that are almost overflowing. It's so relaxing that I end up shutting my eyes.

"Mon soleil, you need to wake up or you'll turn into a prune." Charles whispers, and I startle as I see him kneeling down beside the bathtub. I look around confused which in result causes the bath water to jostle and slosh over the sides of the tub. I curse when I realize I fell asleep and that I just got dirty bath water all over Charles' feet.

"sh*t, I'm sorry." I mutter, shaking my head trying to clear the sleep away. Charles chuckles as he watches my freak out.

"Lydia, it's fine. Let me go get you a towel." He tells me as he stands up and walks to where the towels are sitting. When he comes back towards me, I carefully climb out of the bathtub and let him wrap the towel around me. He bends down and kisses the tip of my nose and butterflies erupt again and I sigh gently.

"How was dinner?" I ask as he helps me dry off my body.

"It was good, Ezra is great. We brought you back some savory crepes if you're hungry." He tells me just as my stomach growls. I smile sheepishly at him and he looks at me pointedly.

"Just give me a minute to change into my pajamas and then I'll be out to eat." I tell him as I walk to my suitcase to grab my pair of matching silk pajamas Charles bought me last week. Instead of going to wait in the living area like I thought he would, he stays in the bedroom and watches me intently. I debate on going into the bathroom to change but I decide that I might as well taunt him since I'm still annoyed about him laughing at me earlier this evening. So, I drop the towel and it falls to the floor, leaving my completely naked standing in front of him. His eyes slowly drag over my body from my feet to my head and then back down. I smile wickedly as he takes a step toward me, but I take one away from him, shaking my head.

"Not ah. Ezra is in the next room, there won't be any of that happening tonight." I tell him as I grab the pajamas and slowly put them on while Charles pouts.

"I will get him a room on the other side of the hotel." He suggests and I laugh as I walk out to the living area where the to-go box is sitting on the coffee table. Ezra must hear us coming because he steps out of his room to greet us.

"Get who a room?" Ezra asks and I turn to look at Charles, giving him a smirk. He just glares at me as he answers Ezra.

"No one." He mutters and I snort under my breath which doesn't go unnoticed. I'm too busy stuffing my face with crepes to care though.

"Oh I see. You two want to have sex but can't since I'm here." Ezra says and I practically choke on the bite I just put into my mouth. Charles looks like he doesn't know how to handle this teenager standing in front of him and it's all just so ridiculous.

"Mama, you okay?" Ezra asks sweetly and I narrow my eyes at him.

"Stop being a menace or you won't be going to Hungary or Belgium." I threaten knowing that he's most excited for the races rather than the trip. He immediately starts apologizing and I can't help but laugh because it's just so easy.

"Now go make yourself scarce baby and put your AirPods in or you'll hear things you won't want to. I'll see you in the morning." I tell him as I stand up from my seat on the couch, and give him a kiss on the cheek. Then I put my leftover food in the small refrigerator in the corner of the room and take myself into the room Charles and I are sharing.

"Gross. Make sure you use protection, I don't want a sibling yet!" He yells after me and I can't help but laugh as he turns the tables on me with that comment. I hear Charles muttering something in French as he follows me into the bedroom, throwing out a goodnight to Ezra as he shuts our door.

"You two are a lot to handle." Charles tells me as he walks further into the room. I know he means that comment as a joke but I can't help but wonder if he means it in a way that means he can't handle us at all, or that it's not something he wants to handle.

Before I can question it too much Charles is wrapping his arms around me and kissing my shoulder up towards my neck. Goosebumps explode over my body as his tongue drags from my collarbone to my ear. I turn in his arms and immediately bring my mouth to his. The kiss gets hot and heavy quickly, both of us worked up from earlier. It's not long before our clothes are off and we're tangled together in the sheets.

Charles makes me feel things I've never felt before and I can honestly say that I'm half way in love with him already. It's honestly crazy because we haven't known each other long but there's just something about him that makes it easy to fall for. By the time we are laying down to go to sleep, I'm so satisfied that I can barely keep my eyes open. Charles is murmuring things to me in French, all the words flowing together so beautifully as I fall asleep.

"Je suis amoureux de toi." He whispers as my mind drifts off to oblivion.

Chapter 14: I Should Hate You

Chapter Text

We head to Hungary two days later after exploring Paris. It was my first time there and lets just say it was magical even though Charles and I had to be very careful out in public for long periods of time so we didn't get photographed. We still did get photographed together though, and this time it included Ezra. The media already wondering who he is in relation to me and Charles. There's speculation that he's my brother since we look so much alike and I'm thankful that so far they don't know the real story yet. I know it's only a matter of time until they figure it out, and I'm fine with when that happens but I have a feeling Charles doesn't want people to know.

When we arrive in Hungary we immediately head to our hotel rooms to get settled. Charles has a meeting with his team to go over everything before press tomorrow. Basically from now until Sunday afternoon, I won't see him much except for the evenings. Although, this time around we opted for separate rooms. I'll be bunking with Ezra while Charles has his own room.

He wasn't happy when I suggested it but there were no suites available and there's no way I was going to let Ezra have his own room by himself. I end up not seeing Charles until Friday after his practices since he's been busy prepping for the race and I've been busy exploring the paddock with Ezra. It's the first time for the both of us, and it's definitely a very amazing experience. Ezra is soaking in everything and he looks like a kid on Christmas morning. It makes my heart so happy seeing him in his element and I realize it won't be very long until he's here.

"Mama, are you going to cry?" Ezra asks me as we walk out of the McLaren garage after talking to some of the engineers on their team. I push him lightly away as I subtlety wipe moisture from my eyes.

"Seeing you here and realizing that it won't be long until you're here as a driver is just surreal. It's like all our hard work has paid off and we're almost to the finish line." I tell him as we walk towards the Ferrari garage. He wraps his long arms around my shoulders and hugs me tightly against him and I realize that he's grown even more. My baby isn't a baby anymore.

"Lydia? Is that you?" I hear someone yell from behind us. We stop and I look over my shoulder to see Lando jogging towards us with a huge grin on his face.

"Lando! I was hoping to run into you. I wanted you to meet Ezra." I tell him with a hug as he approaches.

When we release one another Lando turns towards Ezra and introduces himself. Ezra remains calm for about 2.5 seconds before gushing about how much he loves him. They end up getting into a conversation about karting and I tune out of the conversation, looking back towards the Ferrari garage to see if I can spot Charles. I don't see him and I'm about to turn away when I see a brunette girl in the garage with a guy holding a camera. They look to be arguing and I'm about to turn away when the girl turns slightly and I realize that it's Charlotte. I asked Charles if he's told her about me yet last night because he brought up Joris and I asked. He said he hasn't gotten the chance but if she's here this weekend, and in the garage no less then how has he not found the time?

"Lydia? You okay?" Lando asks, drawing me away from the Ferrari garage and back to the present. He's looking at me strangely and then looks to where I was looking and his expression turns to understanding, but I'm not sure he's understanding what I'm concerned about at the moment.

"I'm fine, but I think qualification is about to start, so we'll let you go." I tell him with a smile and he gives me one in return before giving me another hug and a handshake with Ezra.

Ezra and I make our way to the Red Bull garage where we've been invited to hang out all weekend thanks to Kelly and Max. I'm thankful for the invite because I am not ready to be seen at Ferrari just yet.

As we walk past the Ferrari garage, I finally see Charles who is talking with Carlos. Charlotte and Joris are nowhere to be found now and I can't help but wonder where they went. Charles notices us walking and gives me a wink. The smile that comes across my face is probably ridiculous but I don't care. I mouth 'good luck' to him before looking away and continuing our way to Red Bull, conscious of the cameras that are pointing my direction.

"I still don't understand why you two won't just go public. It would be a lot easier than whatever this is." He whispers as we pass Martin Brundle who is looking towards me with interest.

"I'm not ready for the hate that will come with it being out." I whisper back as we enter the Red Bull garage and go to find Kelly in Max's driving room.

"Why do you think there will be hate?" He asks as we enter the room.

"Because Charles is one of the most lusted after drivers and also expected to win the championship. Most women will hate me because they want to be me and most men and women will hate me because they want him to focus on racing, not a relationship. Then there's the people that want him and Charlotte to get back together. Literally no matter which way I look, it will end up with people hating me. And I'm just not ready for that quite yet." I say.

"She's right. Not to mention being a single mom won't help matters either. Although you will probably gain some supporters with how cute you are." Kelly jokes to Ezra as she quickly catches onto what we are talking about. Ezra blushes like a schoolboy at her comment and it makes me chuckle.

"She's taken Ez and she's older than me." I joke and he turns and glares at me, mad that I embarrassed him.

"Kelly, this is Ezra. My baby boy." I smile fondly as she laughs at our exchange.

"I'm not a baby Mama." Ezra whispers as he goes to Kelly's outstretched arms and gives her a hug. Kelly laughs lightly as she looks over her shoulder at me and mouths "Oh my god, he's so adorable."

Just as Ezra and Kelly are separating, Max walks into the room and does a double take when he sees Ezra, but he seems to make the connection between him and I quickly because his face breaks out into a wide welcoming smile. He walks up to Ezra and introduces himself making Ezra fanboy over him. It makes me laugh when he turns to look at me with wide eyes, like he's surprised that he gets to meet Max. Max ends up coming over to me and surprising me by pulling me into a tight friendly hug.

"It's good to see you again Lydia. I hear that we are going to be spending a lot of summer break together." He says with a laugh as he looks between Kelly and I.

"Well I don't know about that. I plan to spend a lot of summer break with Kelly and P." I joke with him. Kelly and I have been texting all week about everything we want to do together in Monaco and I can't wait to meet Penelope. It's nice to actually have a female friend and Kelly and I have gotten close really quickly. Max looks a little offended as he processes my comment and I can't help but laugh.

"Of course you'll be there too, Max." I smile and he rolls his eyes at me making me laugh. Ezra is looking at us like he's shocked that I could be friends with these people. I narrow my eyes at him and he laughs and I realize he's just shell shocked.

"Well I just came to give Kelly a kiss before qualification. So I'll speak to you guys later? Are you coming to the drivers dinner?" He asks and I shake my head no because Charles didn't even tell me about it. He frowns but quickly recovers with a smile and tells me he'll still see me later and then walks over to Kelly and gives her a kiss before walking out of the drivers room.

Kelly turns her gaze towards me looking concerned and I brush her off with a shake of my head. I don't want to talk about it in front of Ezra. Instead she suggests that we go into the garage and watch the race from the tvs there and so we can listen in on the radios. Ezra is very excited about that suggestion and I welcome the distraction. Although, my thoughts remain on Charles as I watch qualification. The first two qualification rounds go well, Max and Charles are battling for P1. Q3 starts and seems to be going well until Carlos loses control of his car in turn 5 and crashes into the barricades, causing a red flag.

Fortunately he's okay but unfortunately it happens on a flying lap for Charles which ends up leaving him at P2, after Max. Kelly and the rest of the Redbull garage applaud and celebrate around us and I can't help but be sad for Charles and the Ferrari team. I wish I could be in his garage so I could comfort him because I know he's going to be upset.

I realize in this moment that I'm being completely dumb in not wanting to go public with him. No matter how long we wait, I'm going to be hated on. There's no point in missing out on being with him during important times just because I'm worried about what people will think of me. It's ridiculous because I've been so strong practically throughout my whole life. Getting pregnant at 14 came with a lot of judgement and if I can handle that, I can handle being with Charles in public. I debate on going to his garage now but figured that wouldn't be the best move so instead I send him a text.

Me: I'm sorry about Q3. You'll get P1 back tomorrow.

Me: I need to talk to you about something when you get back to the hotel.

Ezra and I head back to the hotel about an hour after qualification ends. I still haven't heard back from Charles and I haven't seen him around the paddock either. I try not to worry about him; he probably just wants to be alone after qualifications. Ezra ends up going to hang out with Arthur who just got into Hungary in time for tomorrows race. They invite me to join but I decline, hoping that Charles will text me or come by the room. I wait for hours with no word from him. It's around 8:30pm when I get a text from Kelly.

Kelly: Why aren't you at the drivers dinner?

Kelly: Charles said you were out to dinner with Ezra but Max and I saw him leave with Arthur hours ago.

Kelly: What's going on?

Me: He never invited me.

Me: I texted him earlier but he never responded. I haven't talked to him since this morning.

Kelly: Wtf.

Kelly: Charlotte is here with Joris but is chatting with Charles like Joris isn't even here.

Me: Why would they be at the drivers dinner?

Kelly: Joris said Charles invited them...

Me: Wow.

Me: Why am I even here right now?

Me: God, I'm so stupid.

Kelly: No you're not! He's the one with his priorities wrong.

Me: He'll always choose her.

I can't believe that this is happening. How did I miss this? Did I just ignore it? I thought we were in a good place, that we were happy but he'll always pick Charlotte. The girl who doesn't even know about me because he doesn't want to tell her about me. I'm so stupid. And I need to get out of here. Putting my phone down, I start packing my things into my suitcase, needing to escape from this situation. My heart hurts as I pack everything up, but I don't cry. I will not cry. Not over some stupid boy who acts one way but then completely changes a minute later. I am too old for this and I don't deserve it. Once everything is packed, I grab my phone and text Ezra.

Me: I'm heading back to Italy tonight.

Me: Make sure you stick with Arthur please.

Me: I love you.

Ezra: What? Why?

Me: Charles is at the driver dinner with Charlotte. He didn't even invite me, but lied and said I was at dinner with you.

Ezra: Wtf.

He continues sending me texts and I notice I have a couple more from Kelly too but I ignore them. Instead I pull up flights leaving Hungary tonight for Italy. I book the first one I can afford, one that leaves at 11:30. I glance at the time and realize that I should probably head to the airport now so I grab my bag and leave the hotel room. When I get to the lobby I came face to face with Kelly and Max.

Kelly notices my bags and immediately shakes her head, like she's not going to allow me to leave. Something over their shoulders distracts me from what she says though. Behind them I see Charles and Charlotte talking closely and my stomach drops when Charles glances up and sees me there staring at them. I feel tears form behind my eyes and I will them away. Looking away from him, I turn back to Kelly and Max. They saw who I was looking at and have sympathy in their gaze.

"Do you need a car to the airport?" Max asks and I could absolutely hug him, I'm so thankful he's willing to not fight me on leaving. I smile up at him in relief and nod my head. My eyes getting more and more glassy as I try not to focus on the two figures that are slowly making their way over to where I'm standing.

"Will you walk with me?" I ask Kelly and Max, hoping that having them as a buffer will keep Charles from trying to talk to me. I can't talk to him right now, especially not with Charlotte around. They both nod their heads in agreement and I start walking towards the entrance of the hotel. Kelly and Max on either side of me as we walk towards the doors. I just past Charles and Charlotte and I think I'm in the clear when I hear my name. I squeeze my eyes shut for a moment to will my tears away and slowly turn to face Charles.

"You're leaving?" He asks as he looks from me to my bag. I swallow hard before answering.

"Yes, I have no reason to be here anymore." I respond harshly because I'm f*cking angry, especially when I see Charlotte walk up closer to Charles, her front is nearly touching Charles' back.

"I was just coming to your room." He says and I can't help but laugh.

"Charles, who is this?" Charlotte asks then and I laugh even more, I can't help it. Before Charles can reply I answer her question.

"I'm no one important..." I tell her and I watch Charles' expression carefully to see if he even shows any remorse. To my surprise he looks devastated by my words and I don't understand why. It's because of him that I feel this way, that I'm acting this way. Before I can say anything more, I turn back around and walk out the door.

Charles must try to come after me, but Max is there to stop him. I hear him whisper something about it being too late. Kelly links her arm with mine as we walk out the door and whispers how proud she is of me for being able to handle that so well and if it was her she would have been in tears. Her comfort makes me feel better and knowing Max has my back as well makes me feel good. It's only a moment later Max walks up to where we are standing.

"I'm not sure how long he'll stay away so let's get you into a car." He says as he pulls out his phone and texts someone. Less than a minute later a black sedan pulls up to where we are standing. Max helps me load my bag into the trunk and opens my door for me. Before I can thank him, he's being pulled away from the car and Charles suddenly appears sticking his head through the door to look at me.

"Please don't leave." He whispers frantically.

"I'm not staying Charles. You clearly don't want me here and I don't really feel like competing with your ex girlfriend for your attention. It's clear you'll choose her every time because it's her, right? The one you're constantly texting and having mysterious phone calls with? You think I don't realize it, but I'm not stupid. I thought I could ignore it because you seemed to be happy with me but after finding out about tonight and how you lied about why I wasn't at that dinner. Then come to find out she still doesn't know about me..." I laugh and shake my head before continuing.

"It's clear I'm just someone you're spending time with until she's available to you again...but by the looks of things, you can have her whenever you want. sh*t you probably already do. So go be with her. She's clearly who you want." I tell him. He stares at me dumbly without saying a word. I push him away from the door just as he's about to say something, but I slam the door before I can hear what bullsh*t he's about to say. Then I hit the lock button and tell the driver to take me to the airport. All the while Charles is knocking on the window trying to get my attention. Finally Max pulls him away and the car speeds off but I don't look back. A few minutes later I get a text from Kelly.

Kelly: What. A. sh*t. Show.

Me: What's going on?

Kelly: He's trying to come after you, which is sweet but stupid.

Kelly: Max has had to remind him he has a race tomorrow about 20 times.

Me: It makes no sense for him to come after me.

Kelly: Oh honey...you don't even know.

Me: And I don't want to know.

Kelly: You sure?

Me: Yup.

I go to put my phone away not wanting to see what she's going to tell me even though I told her I don't want to know. Just as I'm about to put it in my carry on, Charles' name pops up on the screen. I debate on answering the call, but I figure if he is trying to reach me he won't stop calling. If I answer and talk to him then maybe he'll stop this craziness sooner.

"What do you want Charles?" I answer with annoyance.

"Mon soleil, please don't leave. I need you here." He responds and I laugh. Is he serious?

"I find that hard to believe."

"It's true! Look, I'm very sorry about tonight. I thought you wouldn't want to go because you don't want to go public yet."

"Seriously? So you thought inviting your ex girlfriend instead would be better than asking me?!" I shout.

"Besides, this is about more than just the dinner Charles." I continue with frustration.

"Why didn't you text me back or come see me after qualifications? I specifically said I wanted to talk to you about something and you just chose to ignore me. Then proceed to go to dinner with your ex and lie about where I was. Make it make sense."

"I have been going non stop since this morning Lydia. I have had no time to text you back or to come see you."

"Yet you were able to invite Charlotte to dinner..." I counter and he huffs out a breath.

"That's because she and Joris were in the Ferrari garage after the race. If you were there then this wouldn't have happened. I would have asked you about the dinner."

"So let me get this straight. It's my fault for not being in the Ferrari garage so you could invite me to the dinner that you claimed I couldn't go to because I was having dinner with Ez?"

"No, that's not..."

"Charles. Just admit you didn't want me there because of Charlotte. And while you're at it, admit that you have purposely been avoiding telling her about us."

"Okay fine. I admit I've been stalling in telling her about us, but it's not for the reason you think!" He says hurriedly and I scoff.

"It doesn't really matter what the reason is Charles. Goodbye." I say and then hang up the phone.

Chapter 15: War of Hearts

Chapter Text

"Come stay with us in Monaco. Don't let him ruin our plans. Besides, he's still going to Sardinia right?" Kelly asks me over the phone a couple of days after the Hungary GP. After I left, I isolated myself and turned my phone off until after the race because I didn't want to cave and try to contact Charles. I still watched the race on tv though, watched as Charles ended up winning, watched as he celebrated on the podium with a huge grin on his face. My heart hurt as I watched him because I was so sad about what happened with us yet so happy for him.

"I don't know if he is or not. I would assume so." I answer her as I mindlessly fold my laundry. I'm still packing for our summer trip, although I don't know why. I have already finished packing Ezra's bag and wasn't going to start mine but once Kelly called, I started.

"Have you talked to him?" She asks.

"No. He's been calling multiple times a day though since I left." I answer her, thinking about all of the times he's called me. Each time he leaves me a voicemail begging me to call him back, that he needs to see me. I delete them all, all of them except the one I got the night he won in Hungary. He sounded drunk and he was trading off speaking in English and in French. He was rambling about how he wished I was there to celebrate with him, that he won the race for me. The French words intermingling, sounding so romantic even though I have no idea what he was saying. I was tempted to call him back after that call, but I decided against it.

"Hmm. Well I wouldn't be surprised if he comes to see you today. He left Hungary this morning for Italy." She tells me and I freeze, because the original plan was for him to fly directly to Belgium so why is he coming to Italy? Maybe he has to go to Maranello for something, even though deep down I know he's coming here to see me. He's supposed to be with Ezra and Arthur though, so maybe they are all coming here? I haven't heard from Ezra yet today and he's been bugging me to hear Charles out since I got back from Italy.

"Did Ez and Arthur leave with him?" I ask trying to sound unbothered by the news.

"You don't know where your son is?" Kelly feigns shock and I roll my eyes.

"Do you think an almost 16 year old will tell his mama the truth on where he is when he's begging her to get back together with her boyfriend?"

"He's what?!" She says with shock. I'm about to respond when there's a knock on my door and my stomach drops because deep down I know who it is. Well f*ck me.

"f*ck. Someone is at my door..." I whisper as I look towards the full length mirror I have near my bed to access my appearance. My hair is damp from the shower I took earlier, and I'm not wearing any makeup which is unfortunate because I have dark circles from lack of sleep the last few nights. I'm wearing my oversized University of Texas Longhorns crewneck sweatshirt and homemade jean cutoffs from an old pair of Levi jeans. My feet are bare and my toes are still painted red to match my manicure I got in England.

"Call me when he leaves, I need to know everything." She says happily and I can't help but laugh lightly just as there's another knock.

"I will. Talk later." I say quickly and hang up. Throwing down my phone on the bed, I look at myself one last time before heading to the door and opening it to find Charles standing there. His eyes drag up my body until they land on my eyes. Beautiful green eyes meet my ocean blue ones and my stomach dips as he stares at me in such a way. I hate how with one look from him, I'm ready to forgive him.

"Mon soleil." I breathes out with what sounds like relief and I try not to react.

"Why are you here Charles?" I ask.

"Can I come in?" He asks me softly, looking around the apartment complex and I realize there are some people lingering about. I sigh but move to the side so he can walk through the door. After shutting the door, I turn around to find him staring at my suitcase, half packed and my laundry piled on my bed.

"Going somewhere?" He asks as I approach him.

"I'm going to Monaco for a couple of weeks to stay with Kelly and Max." I tell him and he whips his head towards me in surprise.

"A couple of weeks? What about Sardinia? What about going to Monaco with me?" He asks, and I laugh because he can't be serious.

"We aren't together anymore Charles. I'm not going on that trip with you." I tell him and he looks devastated. What did he expect?

"We are f*cking together Lydia! Just because you're mad at me right now doesn't mean we aren't together!" He snaps out and walks towards me, grabbing my face and tangling his hands into my hair. He stares deeply into my eyes, trying to show me that the words he's speaking are true. My breathing picks up at his behavior, not because I'm scared but because I'm turned on. I could curse my body for reacting to him, but f*ck that's hot and as much as it kills me to say because he treated me so poorly in Hungary — I still want him. I think I may already love him, which is insanity. I shake my head and try to pull away from him but he won't let me. Instead he kisses me. Immediately I try to get away from him, to which he lets me go instantly. I stare at him in shock as he starts apologizing to me, telling me he didn't know what came over him. While he's in the middle of another apology I pull him towards me and kiss him because I can't help myself.

I want him still, and there's no way I can stay away right now. Having his lips on mine again has opened up a door that I thought I closed. And after he leaves today, it will most likely close again. But if this is last chance I have to kiss him, to be with him, I'm going to take it. He seems surprised about me kissing him but only for a second. It doesn't take him long to deepen the kiss which in turn causes me to start removing his clothes. This is probably the worst idea I could have, but I can't be stopped. I can't help it.

Soon enough, Charles is naked and my suitcase is getting shoved to the floor along with all of my laundry. The next moment, I'm removing my shorts and underwear and I'm climbing on top of Charles. He guides his co*ck inside of me and I'm moaning out his name like it's a prayer. We've had sex many times but it's never been like this; frenzied, rough, and so passionate. Don't get my wrong sex with Charles has always been amazing but this is something different.

It doesn't take us long to fall over the edge; coming together with moans of complete satisfaction. Tears prickle my eyes as I hide my face into his shoulder and I try to catch my breath. Charles is placing soft kisses on my shoulder as we both come down from the high. A tear escapes one of my eyes and I quickly wipe it away before Charles can see it, but at my movement, he forces my head up so he can look at me and catches me wiping another away. His eyes turn frantic as he stares up at me trying to figure out what's wrong.

"Did I hurt you? What's wrong mon soleil?" He asks while brushing away some of my hair from my face.

"No, I'm fine." I whisper, smiling softly trying to hide how sad I am that he and I are over. It was short lived but somehow he wiggled his way into my heart. His brows furrow as he looks at me.

"You're not fine. Tell me what's wrong." He demands and I push myself off of him. Getting up from the bed I take a few steps away before turning back to Charles whose now sitting up in my bed, confusion all over his face.

"You're right, I'm not fine. I somehow have fallen for a guy who doesn't seem to know what he wants. One minute he wants me, then the next he's ignoring me. It's not until he sees me pulling away that he decides me wants me again. It's tiring, and I'm too old for these games." I tell him, and his eyes flash to mine with anger. He stands then and grabs his boxer briefs before putting them on, then he walks over to me and grabs my hands in his.

"I'm not playing games Lydia. I want you so f*cking much, but I get caught up with these thoughts in my mind. Like I'm not enough, that I will only end up hurting you, which in the end hurts you." He whispers as he stares at our hands. I shake my head in annoyance.

"I don't believe you, not this time. This time was different. You chose to ignore me because you didn't want Charlotte to find out about me." I accuse with anger in my voice. Tears threaten to spill over as he looks up at me, hurt in his gaze but I don't know what he has to be hurt about.

"No, that's not it. I wanted to tell her about you but I was worried about how she was going to react."

"So you were more worried about her feelings than mine?" I laugh because I'm not surprised.

"What? No. I was concerned about how she was might treat you after finding out. You've been so worried about how the public would react to us together, I didn't want to add my ex-girlfriend to the mix of things you needed to worry about."

"Yet you still invite her to the drivers dinner...and then lie about where I was. All because you were trying to keep it hidden that we were together? It doesn't make sense Charles." I say, pulling my hands away and walk a few steps away from him, needing space.

"I didn't invite her. I invited Joris and he brought her as his plus one. As for not inviting you, I truly thought you wouldn't want to go in case we got photographed together so I didn't ask you. That was a mistake."

"Why didn't you text me back that day, especially after I told you I wanted to talk to you about something?" I whisper.

"Like I said I was constantly on the go all day and barely had time to look at my phone. I figured I would be seeing you later that night so we would talk then." He tells me and I shake my head in annoyance.

"Gotcha. Good to know that I didn't even deserve getting a quick text saying we'll talk about it later. It's so much better to just be ignored. You know the reason I wanted to talk to you was because I had decided that I didn't want to hide from the public anymore?" I laugh sardonically as I turn back around to face him. His face falls when he processes my words.

"All I wanted to do when you finished qualifications was to give you a hug and kiss and tell you how you would gain back P1 during the race. I realized at that moment, when I couldn't do those things and that it was dumb that I even cared what the public might think about me...about us. I was ready to take the leap because I realized if I had you, if I could be with you openly like I wanted to be that it didn't matter what people thought. But yeah...it's good to know that I didn't even deserve a 20 second text response." Charles' eyes glisten as we stare at each other. He moves to take a step towards me and I shake my head to stop him but he doesn't listen. He doesn't stop until I'm in his arms, his arms squeezing me tightly against him as he whispers over and over how sorry he is and how he'll make it up to me, but I just stand there, staring ahead of me at the wall.

"I think you should go." I whisper after a moment and Charles stiffens against me. He pulls away then looking at me as I try not to cry. He sighs deeply and looks like he's about to argue and I look away from him not being able to handle his expression.

"Please don't do this. At least give me summer break to prove to you how much I want to be with you. Come on vacation like we planned, please?" He begs and I swallow deeply before answering.

"No, I can't Charles." I say shaking my head and he growls in frustration. I watch as he walks away from me then, grabbing the rest of this clothes and putting them back on. Eventually he turns back to look at me.

"Ezra can't come with me and Arthur then, not without you." He says and I narrow my eyes because he can't be serious.

"Seriously? You would do that to an innocent 15 year old boy?" I ask angrily and he looks sheepish for a moment before nodding his head. I cannot believe him...that he would stoop to this level.

"I'm not sure what you think you'll accomplish by coercing me into going on vacation with you." I answer and Charles smiles brightly before walking towards me, placing his hands on my hips.

"I'm going to make you mine, mon soleil." He whispers as he leans in to give me a kiss on the cheek. My body breaks out in goosebumps at his response and I curse internally, mad that my body can't get in line with my head. When he pulls back to look at me, he's smirking because I'm sure he's well aware of how I just responded to him.

"Doubtful...but fine, I'll still go with you but I'm going to need my own room now." I answer with annoyance.

"Hmm, I'll try but no promises. It will be kind of last minute." He replies as he releases me and starts walking to the front door. I follow behind him, and can't help but admire his backside as he walks.

"Whatever. Oh! When you get a minute, let me know how much I owe you for Ez and I's portion of this trip." I tell him as he opens the door. He stops in his tracks for a moment and then shuts the door again. I furrow my brows in confusion when he turns to face me with anger in his eyes.

"What?" I ask because I don't understand where his anger is coming from.

"You will not be giving me a penny of your money mon soleil." He replies and I roll my eyes.

"But..." I start to protest but he cuts me off by stepping up to me and giving me a kiss on the lips.

"But nothing. I'll send a car to pick you up on Monday." He tells me before he opens the door and leaves without another word. I stare at the closed door for a few moments before going to find my phone so I can call Kelly and tell her what the f*ck just happened.

Chapter 16: This Is What It Feels Like

Chapter Text

It's Monday morning after the Belgium GP. I'm currently waiting for the car that Charles is sending to pick me up to take me to the airport. He just texted me telling me that it's only 5 minutes away so I'm double checking that I have everything ready to go. I've just put mine and Ezra's suitcases by the door when someone knocks. Expecting to see a stranger in a suit, I'm surprised when I come face to face with Charles. He's smiling at me brightly as he takes me in from head to toe, I'm wearing a simple white linen dress that I bought earlier this week at a street market.

"Wow, you look beautiful." He says as he leans forward to kiss both my cheeks. I narrow my eyes at him when he pulls back and he looks at me questioningly.

"Why are you here picking me up and not a driver like you said?"

"I said a car was picking you up, never said anything about a driver. Although, if you want to get technical, I am a driver. Debatably one of the best drivers in the world." He smiles cheekily and I roll my eyes in annoyance at how cute he is.

"I don't know, I think Max is better. He did win yesterday." I comment as I grab the handle on my suitcase and start walking out of the door. Charles' mouth drops open in shock at my statement and I can't help but laugh. He looks so offended.

"Take that back! He only won yesterday because of a bullsh*t penalty." He grumbles as he grabs Ezra's suitcase and follows me out the door. I turn back to the door to lock it, when Charles grabs my arm gently grabbing my attention. I look at him questioningly with a smile on my face.

"I missed you this week. I'm excited to spend everyday of the next month with you." He says seriously and I try to ignore the butterflies that erupt in my stomach. I turn away from him and lock the door before answering.

"You might regret saying that in a couple of weeks." I joke as I turn back to him. He smiles sadly at my response but I don't know what he expects me to say. I'm not about to confess that I missed him this week too, because I did. Every time my phone dinged with a notification I was hoping it was him, and surprisingly most of the time it was. He seems to be trying hard to prove that I'm important to him and that he's thinking of me. It's a big difference from how it was just weeks ago, but I'm trying not to get my hopes up about him. Not again. I need to guard my heart because I've come to realize that he could potentially really break it.

"Come on, we have a flight to catch." He tells me as he takes my suitcase from me and starts walking down the stairs toward is Ferrari Pista 488. He tells me to leave Ezra's bag, and that he'll come back for it so I follow him down the stairs where he proceeds to help me into the passenger seat. After he loads up the luggage he climbs in to the drivers seat and immediately connects his music to the car. 'This Is What It Feels Like' by Armin can Buuren starts playing as he pulls out of the parking spot. I'm not sure if his song choice is on purpose or not, so I don't say anything.

Eventually I do ask where we are going though, because he's heading in the wrong direction to the Parma airport. He tells me we are heading to Maranello and I'm confused because I didn't think they had an airport for commercial flights. When I ask about it, he just smiles at me like I'm cute. I decide to stop asking questions, I'll find out soon enough. We have small talk for the rest of the drive, he asks me about my childhood before I got pregnant which wasn't that great. My parents were wealthy, my fathers family is big in oil so I was around wealth until I got pregnant and was on my own. I'm hoping that with talking about our childhoods that he'll open up about Jules and his father but he doesn't. I debate just asking about them but it's not my place, if he wants me to know about them he would tell me.

By the time we get to Maranello, I'm quiet and in my own thoughts. Charles seems frustrated that I'm putting up walls, but I'm not sure what else to do. He eventually pulls into a private airstrip and on the tarmac is a jet. I furrow my brows because there is no way we're flying private. I turn to look at Charles who just smiles at me. Glancing back towards the plane, I see Arthur and Ezra walking down the stairs of the plane and I officially feel like I'm going to puke. I'm definitely not comfortable around this amount of wealth. But by the look on Ezra's face, he's determined to make this his future though.

"Isn't this a bit excessive? Do you know how bad private jets are for the environment?" I ask as I glance back towards Charles. His smile falls slightly as he sees my reaction.

"I thought it would be better to fly private, no prying eyes. As for the environment, well if it wasn't us using it, someone else would be. So either way it would be releasing the same amount of carbon into the environment." He answers with slight annoyance and as much as I'm annoyed about this, his reasoning makes sense.

He parks near the plane and as we get out of the car, Ezra runs up to me and gives me a big hug. Arthur and Charles grab our bags and hand them to one of the flight crew as he talks to them. Another man takes Charles' car keys and gets into his car, driving it back to Ferrari headquarters, I'm assuming. Or perhaps taking it back to Monaco for him. Ezra is talking my ear off about the past week and how cool the jet is. I listen with a smile on my face, as we walk toward the stairs to get onto the plane. As we climb the stairs, I stumble lightly and Charles who is behind me, helps steady me. I turn back to face him, and in my peripheral I see something in the distance. I turn to look at what is is and realize that it's a person and they have a telephoto lens on their camera pointed right at us. Charles follows my line of sight and curses under his breath.

"Just keep going mon soleil. I'll deal with that when we sit down." He murmurs with a smile on his face and I try to keep my face neutral when I turn back to him. He smiles sadly at me and nods his head, so I listen to him and keep walking up the stairs. Once we get into the plane I relax. Charles is immediately on his phone calling someone, speaking in rapid fire Italian. He looks stressed and I feel bad for him. As much as he wanted to avoid getting our photo taken, it still happened anyways. I try to get his attention when he gets off the phone but he sits down away from where I am sitting, his back to me and thoroughly shuts me out. Arthur catches my eye and gives me a sad smile. Luckily Ezra seems oblivious to the whole thing, still completely enchanted by the plane.

The flight from Maranello to Sardinia is only an hour and a half. Charles doesn't talk to anyone the whole flight except for the flight attendant. I try to not let it bother me, but by the time we land...I'm annoyed. I'm not sure what he's so upset about, it's not his fault that we got photographed. I don't blame him and I'm not mad. At least not that our photo was taken. I am angry that he can't live a normal life without someone trying to invade his personal life. I understand that he's a public figure, but there needs to be a point where they can live freely and not worry about constantly being watched.

When we step out of the plane, Arthur ushers me and Ezra into a waiting car and then proceeds to shut the door without a word. I watch as he goes back onto the plane where Charles still is. I assume that he's handling things with the flight crew and we are just waiting for him but our car starts driving away. I'm about to protest when the driver tells us that Charles asked him to take us to the resort first and that he and Arthur will be there shortly. I frown but don't say a word, I just grab my phone from my bag and pull up my text thread with Charles.

Me: What's going on?

Charles: Nothing.

Me: Really, Charles? You're really going to lie to me right now?

Charles: I thought you would want to go separately so we don't get photographed together.

Me: Don't you think we're going to be photographed together throughout this whole trip?

Me: The reason why you wanted me to come was so we could spend time together, right?

Charles: Yes.

Me: Then we're going to be photographed together, that's just how it's going to be with who you are. It is what it is Charles.

Charles: So you won't be mad if we're photographed together?

Me: No, it's not like it's a big deal. We're just friends.

We pull up to the hotel so I don't see Charles' response to my last message. I know he's probably going to protest, but it's true. We're just friends. The driver steps out of the car and helps us with our bags and then we're walking into the resort. It's beautiful with traditional Mediterranean vibes and I'm instantly in love. We walk up to the check in counter and the woman manning the desk smiles at us brightly. I let her know that we are here under the name Leclerc. Her eyes widen when she hears the name and she looks at me with interest.

"I'm assuming you are Lydia Kincaid then?" She asks with an Italian accent and I smile at her in surprise and nod my head.

"Mr. Leclerc just phoned to tell us you would be arriving soon. I'm to escort you and your companion to the Archipelago Penthouse Suite. If you would follow me, we will head there now. A bellboy will deliver your luggage shortly, so you won't need to worry about that." She tells us as she steps out from behind the front desk and indicates that we should follow her.

As we walk through the resort grounds, I try to keep my expression neutral even though all I want to do is drop my mouth open in awe. There are gardens and ocean views corner after corner as she leads us to a secluded suite, tucked along the coastline. When she opens the door to the suite, I can't hold back my wonderment. She gives us a quick tour of the suite and points out all the amenities including our own private pool.

By the time she leaves I'm practically hyperventilating. How is this my life? I don't belong here. Ezra on the other hand makes himself at home and looks like he belongs here no problem. A few minutes later there's a knock on the door and I go to answer it quickly. It's the bellboy with our bags and he silently brings them into the suite. He asks which rooms he should put them in, and I tell him to put the blue one in one of the spare bedrooms, and to leave the pink one in the living room. Ezra gives me a strange look as the bellboy does what I said and I choose to ignore him.

"Mama, I'm pretty sure you'll be in the master bedroom." Ezra tells me after the bellboy leaves.

"No, that's Charles' room. You and Arthur will get the other two, I'll sleep on the couch in the living room." I tell him, as I walk out towards the glass windows in the living room overlooking the pool and ocean. Ezra scoffs at my statement and I can only image him rolling his eyes. Before I can tell him to stop acting like a brat, the door to the suite opens and in walk Charles and Arthur. They are laughing at something but when they see Ezra and I standing there they stop. Charles glances to me, but his eyes move immediately to my suitcase, sitting near the couch. He furrows his brows before turning back to look at me.

"Why is your bag out here? The bellboy should have put it in the room for you." He says and Ezra barks out a laugh which gets a glare from me.

"She says she's sleeping on the couch." Ezra says before I can respond to Charles. I turn to face Charles ready to explain when without a word he grabs my bag and carries it into the master bedroom. Arthur laughs as Ezra says I told you so. Immediately I follow after Charles with annoyance.

"What are you doing?" I hiss out as I run to catch up to him. He looks back at me over his shoulder as he continues walking towards the master bedroom, his expression one of complete and utter annoyance.

"I'm putting your bag in our room." He growls out and I try to reign in my anger.

"No, your stealing my bag and putting it in your room because you like to be difficult."

"Lydia, I swear to god. This is a fight you will not win."

"It's not appropriate for us to share a room." I argue and he scoffs in response as we enter the room. It's absolutely beautiful with a giant king size bed with a 180 degree view of the resort grounds and ocean.

"Mon soleil, we are sharing this room. And we are not just friends. Now please stop fighting me, aren't you exhausted?" He asks me, as he sets my suitcase down in the walk-in closet and turns to face me. I stare at him with anger and annoyance but my resolve crumbles when he gives me the grin showcasing his adorable dimples. He walks toward me, stopping one he gets close enough to pull my hips towards his, and leans forward giving me a soft kiss on the lips. I melt into him and all my annoyance dissipates. When he pulls away he looks way too proud of himself and I smack him gently on the chest.

"This doesn't mean we're together." I tell him, as I take a step back from him.

"No, but at least it's one step closer." He smiles and I roll my eyes.

"So, are you done pouting?" I ask referring to his time on the flight here.

"Look I'm sorry I acted that way. I thought you were angry and I didn't want to make it worse. I thought you wouldn't want to talk to me." He tells me and I shake my head in frustration.

"Charles, you need to learn to just talk to me, instead of assuming." I tell him and he smiles sheepishly as he nods in agreement.

"Come on, let's go find the boys. I'm sure Ezra has already found his way into the pool." I tell him, as I hold out my hand for him to take. He does so with no hesitation and we make our way out towards the living room. Right when we have sight of the pool, we see Ezra and Arthur jumping in with huge smiles on their faces. I turn to look at Charles with an 'I told you so' look and he just laughs in return. He asks me what I want to do, and I tell him I just want to lounge by the pool for now. As we walk back towards our room, Charles spots his bag by the door of the suite and carries it along with us.

Once in our room, we both get dressed in our bathing suits, Charles in the closet and me in the bathroom. When I emerge from the bathroom, Charles' jaw drops when he sees me walking out. I smile as I watch him take me in, but then I take him as well and my smile is gone, now replaced by me biting my lip as I stare at him in his swim suit.

"f*cking hell mon soleil. You need to stop staring at me like that." He says a bit breathlessly as he rearranges himself in his swimsuit. My eyes find his then and I smile wickedly.

"Or what?" I purr as I take a step towards him. I'm not sure what my goal is here, I'm not planning on having sex with him again. At least not for awhile, but I can't help but tease him. When I get close enough for him to touch, he takes hold of the ties at my hips keeping my bottoms in place. He toys with the strings as I bite my lip and stare at him. I can feel his excitement against me and my puss* throbs at the thought of him inside of me.

"Or I'll do what we both so desperately want. But something tells me that you would regret it, and the next time we have sex...you will be mine. Not whatever it is we are now." He whispers into my ear before sliding his tongue along my jaw and down my neck. I shiver against him and moan quietly at the feel of him and I feel him smile against my neck before he kisses it and pulls away and releases me. He smirks as he sees my legs almost give out beneath me and I'm annoyed that I played right into that. And f*ck was it f*cking sexy.

"I need a drink." I mumble under my breath as I turn away from him, heading towards the door. I hear Charles groan behind me and it makes me smile to myself, thankful that he's equally as affected by me as I am to him. We make our way back towards the living room, but instead of going out the doors leading to the pool, I beeline it to the bar cart that I saw earlier. Once there, I grab a bottle of tequila and four shot glasses. Charles, who stayed in the living room eyes me wearily as I approach and I just give him a bright smile before heading out the doors to the pool. At our approach both boys in the pool turn towards us. Arthur looks like he's about to give us a hard time until he sees me and his eyes bug out of his face.

"Ez, has anyone ever told you your mom is a milf?" He says loudly. I laugh, while Ezra groans in annoyance and says he hears it daily. Charles snaps something in French at Arthur and I look between them curiously as they argue back and forth. Things look to be heated between them so I decide to interrupt.

"How about some shots?!" I shout excitedly to which all three boys turn to look at me. Ezra looks excited, Arthur looks intrigued and Charles looks concerned which makes me laugh. I walk over to a small table next to some lounge chairs and set the shot glasses down. Opening up the bottle of tequila, I pour us each a shot. Ezra and Arthur climb out of the pool and make their way over to me, followed by Charles. I hand them each a shot glass and I'm about to say cheers when Charles interrupts me.

"Should Ezra be drinking? He's only 15." He says and I narrow my eyes at him for questioning me.

"Were you drinking at 15?" I ask, co*cking my head to the side.

"I...was. But I wasn't taking shots with my maman." He replies with a smile.

"Well my theory is that he would be drinking anyways. This way I can monitor him. Besides it's just us here, and I don't think we have any plans to go anywhere today. A couple of shots won't hurt anyone." I tell him, as I hold my shot glass up pointedly. They all raise their glasses to mine and we cheers, downing the shots. Ezra coughs violently after he takes his and Arthur and I can't stop laughing while Charles looks like he feels bad for him. Eventually his coughing dies down and he glares at me which makes me laugh even harder.

"You'll get used to it baby. It's better with salt and lime." I tell him and he whines about why we didn't have salt and lime to begin with. I laugh and tell him I didn't see any, although I honestly didn't even check. Charles tells us that he'll go see what he can do about salt and lime and heads back into the suite. Ezra decides to go back into the pool, while Arthur and I lay down on two lounge chairs side by side. I am leaning back in my chair, with my eyes closed but I sense Arthur looking at me. I crack open one eye to see him staring at me.

"How can I help you Arthur?" I ask giving him my full attention.

"You decide to give my brother another chance?" He asks.

"Hmm, I haven't decided yet. It all depends on how he behaves this week." I joke, hoping that he'll drop it but he just stares at me seriously, not laughing at my joke.

"For real, Lydia. Do you think you'll give him another chance? He's been a mess since Hungary and if you're just going to jerk him around, don't. Just let him go." He says seriously and I furrow my brows because he doesn't seem to be a mess to me and how dare he accuse me of jerking Charles around, when so far it's been the other way around.

"He doesn't seem to be a mess to me. And I don't appreciate you accusing me of jerking him around when so far that's what he's been doing with me. I've been honest from the start about my feelings for him. He's the one who keeps running away from me." I say angrily as I look away from him and towards the ocean.

"So now you decide to run away from him?" He asks and I whip my head back towards him because is he serious?

"No, I'm protecting my heart Arthur. Somehow your stupid brother has made me fall for him in such a short amount of time. And so far it honestly hasn't been great, but for some reason my stupid heart has decided that it loves the guy. I'm not running away but I am being cautious because if he ends up hurting me again, I'm not sure what will happen to me..." I trail off, and I realize too late that I just confessed way too much to Arthur. That damn tequila is already going to my head. Arthur stares at me in shock and before he can say anything I continue.

"Okay, you need to forget I just said all that because I'm sure if Charles knew that, he would go running." I beg Arthur who looks conflicted. Before he can agree, Charles is making his way over to us with salt and limes in his hands.

"What are you two talking about?" He asks curiously, looking between Arthur and I. Arthur looks at me, and I silently beg him to not say anything.

"We're debating on who is the better team principle, Toto or Christian." Arthur replies and I breath a sigh of relief. Charles stares strangely between us like he doesn't really believe that's what we were talking about but before he can question us more Ezra walks up to us.

"Christian, hands down is better. Oh sick, you found salt and limes!" He says with excitement and Charles laughs as he sets the salt and lime slices down on the table we left the shot glasses on.

"Ez, you're wrong. Toto is better." I say as I stand up and walk towards the tequila, so I can pour another round of shots.

"That's only because you think he's hot." Ezra responds with makes Arthur and Charles laugh hysterically like it's a joke.

"I mean you're not wrong. But Christian is also hot, so that's not why. I think Toto is better because of Susie, honestly. Although, Christian is married to Ginger Spice which is pretty f*cking cool. sh*t, now I can't choose." I laugh as I pour. Once I'm done I look up and all three boys are staring at me like I have two heads. While they continue to stare at me, I lick in between my thumb and pointer finger and pour some salt there.

"Wait, you think Toto AND Christian are hot?" Charles asks with confusion. He looks so concerned that I can't help but laugh. Instead of answering I lick my hand and down my shot, then grab a slice of lime and suck deeply. Only after I'm done I answer Charles.

"Yup, I do. Don't worry, they're too old for me LP. Oh, and happily married." I joke and he looks like he's about to have a heart attack. I don't understand why he's so concerned by me thinking they are hot but it's certainly entertaining. He's so rattled that he takes his shot with no salt or lime. I smile at him like he's lost his mind, and he just shakes his head at me and announces he needs to go lay down and proceeds to lay down on the lounge chair I was just laying in.

I turn to Arthur in confusion and he just shrugs his shoulders, just as confused as me. Ezra is too busy preparing for his second shot to even care about Charles. I watch quietly as he goes through the process of taking the shot. This one goes a lot smoother and he smiles brightly after he sets the shot glass back down. Then proceeds to do a back flip into the pool, splashing me in the process.

"Don't make me come in after you!" I yell at him once he reaches the surface and Arthur chuckles beside me before downing his shot. Then he proceeds to do the same thing Ezra did but purposely positions his back flip to be right in front of me, splashing me even worse than Ezra did.

Without a second thought, I jump into the pool and immediately dunk Arthur under the water. He comes up sputtering water but laughing. I proceed to mess around with Arthur and Ezra but they end up ganging up on me and practically drown me. They finally stop when I threaten to kick them in the balls and I climb out of the pool and make my way over to the lounge chair next to Charles. He watches me as I approach, a soft smile on his face showcasing those damn dimples.

"What?" I ask as I lay down, and turn to look at him because he's still staring at me. I look down at my swimsuit to make sure everything is still in the right place which it is, so I'm not sure why he's staring at me.

"You're just perfect. I can't keep my eyes off you." He whispers and my stomach fills with butterflies.

"You're just drunk." I say to avoid what his words make me feel and I can see his eyes dim a bit when he hears me diminish his compliment.

"I wish you wouldn't do that." He tells me as he finally looks away from me and I instantly feel bad.

"Do what?" I ask, trying to act like I don't know what he's talking about even though I very well know.

"Completely devalue my words about you, like they aren't true." He replies and it takes me a moment to figure out what I want to say in response.

"I'm not trying to devalue your words. I just have a hard time believing them I guess. I mean you're you...and I'm me. It's hard to wrap my head around you even knowing who I am, let alone you thinking I'm perfect. It's mind blowing and surreal." I confess and he finally returns his gaze back to mine. He grabs my hand and intertwines our fingers together then brings my hand up to his mouth and kisses it gently.

"There's so much more I want to say about you, but I don't think you're ready to hear it yet." He whispers and my stomach dips. I don't say anything in return, I just lean back in my lounge chair and enjoy this moment with him. At some point I must fall asleep because the next thing I know, I'm getting picked up by Charles and he's walking me into the suite towards our room. I murmur to him asking what he's doing to which he responds saying he didn't want me to get sunburnt so he's moving me to our bed. Then he proceeds to tell me to go back to sleep as he lays me on the comfy bed. The last thing I remember is his lips softly pressing against mine.

Chapter 17: Electric Love

Chapter Text

When I wake up the sky is darkening and the sun is setting. I roll over to see Charles laying beside me asleep. I can't help but stare at him unabashedly. He's so handsome that it sort of hurts to look at him. He looks younger when he's relaxed and the sadness that always seems to be behind his eyes is gone. Without thinking, I push a piece of hair that has fallen onto his forehead back and slowly drag my finger tips along his nose, then over his lips. Right as I'm about to remove my finger from his face, his eyes snap open and he grabs my hand in his.

I yelp in surprise because how did he do that so fast? But then I realize he literally trains to react quickly. He stares at me and I know my cheeks are turning pink with embarrassment of getting caught ogling him. Instead of questioning me, he just brings my fingertip to his mouth and kisses it gently. My puss* clenches involuntarily and I try to control myself so I don't climb on top of him.

"How long have we been asleep?" I ask, looking around the room to try to find a clock to no avail. Charles grabs something behind his back and I realize it's his cell phone a moment later.

"You've been out probably 4 hours, me only about an hour." He tells me and my eyes bulge in shock.

"Four hours?!" I practically shout because that's a long nap, but then I remember that I haven't been sleeping well the past week and I also had two shots of tequila without really eating anything today besides a piece of toast this morning. At the thought of food my stomach growls loudly and I can't help but feel embarrassed.

"We should get some dinner." Charles announces, dropping my hand and rolling off the bed. I realize now that he's no longer in his swimsuit but in some grey sweatpants and a white T-shirt. I stare at him unabashedly as he walks around the bed towards the door leading to the living room. When he notices me still laying in bed he stops and looks at me questioningly.

"Don't mind me, just admiring the view." I tell him with a smile and I notice his cheeks turn a little pink at the compliment.

"I'm going to find the boys to see what they want to eat. Any requests mon soleil?" He asks a moment later as I finally roll out of bed and head to the closet so I can change.

"I'll eat anything LP! Although, if they have a burger and french fries I want that!" I yell out as I pick up a shirt and some leggings. Charles acknowledges my request and walks out the door. I quickly head to the bathroom to do my business and to change. A few moments later I find Charles, Arthur and Ezra in the small kitchenette in our suite. When I walk in Ezra and Arthur immediately start laughing while Charles does a double take before narrowing his eyes on my shirt.

"What the hell are you wearing?" He growls out and I look down at my shirt like I don't understand why he's upset.

"You don't like it? I thought you liked me in red?" I ask with confusion as I look down again at my shirt, admiring the Ferrari red color and Carlos Sainz's beautiful face.

"I love you in red. That's not what I'm upset about. I'm upset that it's Carlos' face on your shirt and not mine." He pouts.

"But Carlos is my favorite driver..." I say in all seriousness and it looks like Charles is about to have a heart attack. I try so hard not to laugh but it's getting harder when tweedle dee and tweedle dum beside me are giggling like little schoolgirls.

"Wait...what? I'm not your favorite driver?!" He asks, completely appalled.

"No. It's Carlos, then Max, then it's a tie between you and Lando..." I tell him and I watch as he nearly short circuits. He has to sit on the barstool next to him because he's so aghast. That's when I completely lose it along with Ezra and Arthur.

"You're just f*cking with me then?" He asks in between our laughs and it makes me laugh even more.

"Afraid not LP, but if it makes you feel better I also have a shirt with your face on it too." I tell him and he instantly perks up, his expression turning sexual and I feel myself blush at what he might be thinking.

"Stop eye f*cking each other. It's gross." Ezra shouts causing Arthur to snort which in turn makes all of us laugh. After a few minutes we settle down and Charles finally calls to place our food order. While we wait Ezra and Arthur decide to livestream out on the veranda while Charles and I cuddle on the couch in the living room.

"I have a lot of competition..." Charles says randomly after we sit down for a few minutes and I turn to look at him. My legs are draped over his lap and he's gently massaging my calves as he says this and I furrow my brows in confusion.

"Toto, Christian, Carlos, Max...Lando. Anyone else?" He asks with a smile on his face.

"Hmm I guess there's also Lewis, Daniel and Mick." I answer completely serious and he turns his gaze back to me with shock. At first I think he's going to be mad but then he laughs. I'm glad he realizes I'm teasing him.

"How is it that you know who Daniel and Mick are but you didn't recognize me at the bar when we first met?" He asks and I smile sheepishly.

"I knew I recognized you but I couldn't put my finger on how. I think the venue threw me off because why would a formula 1 driver be at some dive bar in some small Italian town?"

"Thank god Carlos convinced me to go out that night to meet him. I had no desire to, but he guilted me into it. I'm happy he did because it brought me you." He whispers and leans toward me like he's going to kiss me but before he can there's a knock on the door from room service. Charles moves me off of him gently and walks to the door to let the hotel employee cart in the food.

"Boys, the food is here." I call out to Ezra and Arthur who are still streaming. Wanting to keep the stream going, Ezra carries his phone with him to the cart of food. I notice too late that I'm in the background of the screen along with Charles but I decide not to say anything, not wanting to risk Charles getting into a bad mood again. A moment later I hear Arthur curse under his breath and look towards Charles and me.

"Yes, Charles is here with us." Arthur says out loud towards the phone and Charles tenses beside me realizing that we've been seen. Ezra catches on a little too late but finally moves camera so it's not facing us any longer. By the expressions on Arthur and Ezra's faces they are getting bombarded with comments about who I am and I'm sure from the ones who recognize me wanting to know if Charles and I are together.

Charles is still tense beside me and now that we aren't on screen I grab his hand and squeeze. He looks at me with sad eyes but I smile at him letting him know it's okay. I whisper to him that we should eat and he grabs our trays and walks them into the kitchen so we can eat on the island. Once we're in the kitchen he relaxes and once the boys are back outside he relaxes even more.

"It's okay Charles. It's not like photos of us together aren't floating around already. I'm sure the one from this morning is already out. Let people speculate for now. Once we sort us out, we'll figure out our next step with handling the media." I tell him as I lift the lid off my tray and come face to face with a beautiful burger and french fries. I immediately take a huge bite and moan with how good it is. I look up to see Charles staring at me with hooded eyes. I mumble an apology but he just laughs at me and takes the lid off his tray, revealing a plate of chicken, broccoli and quinoa. My eyes narrow on the healthy food and wonder if he ever gets to have a cheat day.

"I have to stick to my diet, although I would much rather have what you are having." He tells me when he notices me grimacing at his food. I immediately hold my burger out to him, being a bad influence and daring him to take a bite. After only a little bit of finagling he takes a bite of the burger and I smile triumphantly as I watch him chew.

"Are you sure you're okay with people seeing us together?" He asks once he swallows his bite.

"Yes LP. I'm sure. Please don't stress about it." I beg him. He nods and smiles softly as he begins eating his food. We eat the rest of our meals in silence and once we're done we decide to head back into our room for the rest of the night. Charles closes the door behind him and locks it, making me look over my should at him questioningly.

"I need to see this shirt with my face on you. And I want it to be the only thing you're wearing." He tells me darkly and I have to press my thighs together to give my puss* some relief. He walks past me and goes to lay on the bed. Once he's comfortable he looks at me expectantly and I cant help but obey his request. I walk into the closet and find the shirt in question. It only takes me a moment to change, and then I'm stepping out of the closet in nothing but the shirt with his face on it.

His eyes take me in and I watch as he bites down on his bottom lip hard. He lifts his hand and does the universal sign for me to spin around and I do. By the time I'm facing him again I notice that his dick is growing in his sweatpants. I clench my thighs together again because I'm starting to need some friction, especially now that I'm not wearing underwear.

"Mon soleil? Do you think I could have some dessert?" He asks and at first I'm confused but then I remember the night in my apartment and what we did. I debate whether or not I should agree but I finally decide to just go for it. I'm so horny and he already told me we won't have sex until we're together again so I can only assume this is something other than that. I nod my head in agreement and he smiles brightly before moving down the bed so he's laying flat on his back.

"Come have a seat." He tells me as be points to his mouth and I nearly come on the spot with how sexy that was for no reason whatsoever. I walk towards him slowly and climb onto the bed so I can straddle his face. I stare down at him before I move to where he wants me and I give him the chance to stop this if he wants. Instead of words, he grabs hold of my thighs, wrapping his arms around them and shoves me so I'm fully straddling his face. At the first swipe of his tongue I'm moaning loudly which makes me slap my hand over my mouth remembering that the boys are right outside.

I keep my hand over my mouth because the more Charles does, the louder I become. He's eating me like it's his job; his tongue is driving me crazy and when he sucks my cl*t into his mouth I nearly see stars. It doesn't take long for me to start feeling the build up of an org*sm and Charles must be able to tell because he grabs ahold of me even tighter and pulls me harder against him, completely smothering his whole face with my mess. It only takes two more swipes of his tongue along my cl*t before I'm coming on his face.

It takes me awhile to come down from the high and it doesn't help that Charles keeps me pressed against his tongue gently licking along my folds as I'm begging him to stop because it's too much. He finally releases my legs so I can move off of him. Instead of moving off him completely, I just move enough so our faces are lined up and I lean down and kiss him passionately, letting him know how much I loved what he just did. I offer to return the favor to which he declines. It's not too long after that I fall asleep in his arms. The last thing I heard before falling into oblivion was more French.

”J'espère que tu me donnes une autre chance."

Chapter 18: Feels This Good

Chapter Text

It’s our third day in Sardinia and the boys just left to play golf while I opted out of that outing. Instead I'm currently lacing up my old running shoes and heading out on a run around the resort and along the beach. I grab my phone, key to the suite and my new AirPods that Charles had sent to the suite yesterday when he found out I don't have any headphones of my own. Before I start running, I put on a playlist of house music curtesy of the one and only Lando Norris. It's funny to me how different my life is in only a span of 5-6 weeks. Never in a million years would I have thought I would be on vacation with Charles Leclerc and becoming close friends with Lando Norris, Max Verstappen and Kelly Piquet. It's definitely surreal and I can't help but feel grateful.

'Feels This Good' starts playing and I set off on my run. I have no destination in mind or distance, but after a few minutes I find myself approaching the beach. For the next 10 minutes I run down the beach, listening to my playlist and trying to figure out how I feel about Charles and what I want from our relationship. He's been great the past week and a half, and I know I like him, probably even love him at this point. But I'm just not sure if I can trust him fully with my heart.

My emotions are all over the place by the time I'm turning around to head back to the resort and all I feel is confused. A part of me is ready to dive in head first with him, f*ck the consequences and if I get hurt. But then there's another part of me, the girl that got turned away by her family and friends during the hardest time in her life, that doesn't think she can handle any more heartbreak.

By the time I make it to the resort, I'm exhausted and no longer running. I somehow find myself walking along the golf course and in the distance I see three male figures. When I get closer I realize it's the boys, so I beeline towards them to see how their game is going. I take my headphones out as I approach them from behind. They haven't noticed me yet, so I can hear what they are talking about.

"So how are things with my Mama going? She doesn't tell me anything." Ezra asks Charles and I stop in my tracks.

"I honestly don't know. She's kind of hot and cold. Right when I feel like I'm making progress in getting her to give me another chance, she seems to pull back. I'm sort of at a loss on what to do." He says sadly and I instantly feel bad for making him feel this way even though I have every right to feel what I'm feeling as well. This is what I mean by being confused.

"She's just scared. She hasn't had the best luck with people sticking around or choosing her. My grandparents are assholes who completely abandoned her and I think she feels like anyone she gets close to will do the same." Ezra responds and tears prickle my eyes. I'm surprised to hear him say that about my parents after the conversation we had when I found out about them sending him money.

"Even if we didn't end up working out in the long run, I would never abandon her." Charles replies and Ezra laughs lightly.

"Haven't you already abandoned her once? Whose to say you wouldn't do it again?"

"I didn't abandon her, I was just confused about my feelings towards her and overwhelmed."

"What are you feelings towards her?" Ez counters and waits patiently for Charles to respond.

"I'm falling in love with her." Charles responds after a moment and my heart thuds in my chest.

"Hmm, I hope that's true because she's already in love with you. And if you hurt her, I'm going to have to take your seat at Ferrari." Ezra tells him and my stomach drops. How does he know I'm in love with Charles? Is it that obvious? I wish I could see Charles face as he processes what Ezra just said but since I'm behind them I can't. Arthur laughs at Ezra's threat though and starts teasing Charles so he ends up not responding because they are all laughing now. That's when I realize I need to make myself known.

"It doesn't look like you guys are doing much golfing." I announce as I walk closer to them with a bright smile.

All three boys turn towards me, looking worried that I just overheard their conversation but I pretend that I didn't, not wanting them to know I was eavesdropping.

"We were just waiting for the cart girl to come by before continuing on." Arthur replies as he nods in the distance at a golf cart that's making its way towards us. Charles and Ezra look at me guiltily and I can't help but raise my eyebrows at them in question.

"Were you out on a run Mama?" Ezra asks, his voice full of absolute shock and I roll my eyes.

"Yes, actually I was. I was just heading back to the suite when I saw you guys and decided to say hi." I reply and Ezra laughs.

"What's so funny?" I add with annoyance taking a step towards Ezra like I'm going to go after him.

"I just didn't know you ran." He comments with another chuckle.

"I haven't been able to for a along time because I've been too busy, but now I actually have free time."

Before anyone can respond, the cart girl pulls up beside us and immediately starts talking to the boys, and completely ignores me. I notice her gaze lingering on Charles as they talk to one another in Italian. I'm not sure why I'm feeling jealous of them talking, but I am. Instead of sticking around to witness this, I shoot a wave to Ezra and Arthur who are looking between me and Charles and jog away back to our suite.

By the time I'm back in the suite, I'm angry. More at myself than anything else for getting jealous. Charles and I aren't even really together, even though it feels like we are. I have no right to be upset with him talking to another woman, and I'm sure he was just being his normal friendly self. I'm just so confused about my feelings that it's all just too much.

I decide to take a shower to calm myself down, but by the time I'm done I am still reeling in my feelings. Throwing on my yellow dress from the first time I met Charles, I head to the veranda off Charles and I's room and sit down to call Kelly, hoping that some girl talk will help me feel better about everything. Lucky for me, she answers on the first ring.

"Lydia! How are things going? I haven't heard from you since you got to Sardinia." She answers and I instantly feel a little better.

"Things are going good, but also bad." I reply and I can tell she's confused by the pause she takes before replying. She asks me to explain and I tell her everything that's been going on since we go on the plane in Maranello. I explain how I'm feeling about everything and how I'm scared to give in to Charles but how much I want to give in to him. She sits and listens to me talk for at least 30 minutes and I'm once again so grateful to have gained her friendship. By the end of the phone call I'm feeling much better about everything and she gave me good advice on how to move forward from here. She suggests to keep taking things slowly with Charles, but also try to open myself up more in terms of not turning away from him when he expresses his feelings and compliments.

Once I get off the phone I make my way into the bathroom and start putting on some makeup because I'm thinking about heading to one of the restaurants on the grounds for lunch. As I'm putting on some bronzer Charles walks into the bathroom startling me since I didn't hear them get back. He smiles adorably as he walks up behind me with his hands behind his back and I narrow my eyes at him questioningly because it looks like he's hiding something behind his back.

A moment later he pulls a small bouquet of dandelions behind his back and my face breaks out with a huge smile as he wraps his arms around me and hands the bouquet to me, while kissing my shoulder. My body breaks out in chills as his lips touch me, and I shut my eyes at the sensations going through my body.

"Mhm, you are beautiful. I love this dress." He whispers as he wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me against him. I relax into him as my eyes open and I stare at us in the mirror.

"Thank you. And thank you for the dandelions, where did you find them all?" I ask as I look down at the bouquet that I'm now holding.

"I collected them while we were golfing. Arthur and Ez would not stop making fun of me but I wanted you to know I was thinking of you." He responds as he slowly kisses along my neck. I set the dandelions on the vanity and turn around to face him. Grabbing his face with my hands, I stare into his eyes for a moment before leaning into him and kissing him. He seems surprised by my actions but quickly kisses me back, deepening it by pressing his tongue against mine and showing me just how talented that tongue of his is. Things start getting more heated and the next thing I know, Charles is lifting me up so I'm sitting along the ledge of the vanity with my legs wrapped around him. One of is hands he's just started massaging my boob and I'm moaning loudly when his phone starts ringing in his pocket breaking the spell we are under.

I immediately pull my mouth away from his, much to his dismay and unwrap my legs from his waist. He groans in annoyance as he pulls his phone out of his pocket and glances at the screen quickly before answering the call in French. I try to climb down from the vanity but he won't let me, keeping his body flush against mine so I can't move. He stares at my lips as he listens to his phone, occasionally humming to whatever the person is saying.

Eventually the person must realize that Charles is not paying attention because he quickly gets off the phone after that. He sets his phone down on the vanity and has his lips on me the next moment. I don't let the kiss last long though because if one of us doesn't stop it, we won't and I'm hungry. He pouts when I pull away and force him to help me down to my feet.

"I'm going to have lunch at one of the restaurants on the grounds, would you like to come?" I ask him and he grins at me and nods. I tell him to take a shower while I finish with my makeup and then we can go to which he agrees and strips down right in front of me, smirking as he sees my eyes drop to his penis. I turn back to the mirror then, and start finishing my makeup as he climbs into the shower. Twenty minutes later we are making our way out the door, just us two because Arthur and Ezra said they were too exhausted to go. I think it might have been Charles' doing though, but I'm not complaining.

We end up choosing a small restaurant along the beach that serves fresh caught fish. We order some drinks and grilled fish along with some ceviche to start with. This is our first meal out together in an actual restaurant, although this resort is very exclusive and I actually haven't seen a ton of people, which is nice. It almost feels like we are normal and not being watched. I do notice some people looking at Charles though, but surprisingly they don't approach him. I still won't be surprised if a photo of us gets leaked somewhere later this afternoon. It ends up being a great lunch, our conversation flows freely and Charles even teaches me a few words in Italian and French. By the time we are done eating we are very full, kind of tipsy and can't stop smiling at one another.

As we walk back to our suite, our hands keep touching slightly; our fingers itching to touch one another but we don't just in case someone is photographing us. When we walk into the suite though, I immediately grab his hand in mine and lead us to our room. Arthur and Ezra are no where to be seen, so I don't feel bad with locking us in our room. Charles looks confused about why I'm leading us to our room, he looks so clueless and adorable that it makes me smile.

"I just want to spend more time with you, just us two. Unless you would rather go do something." I tell him suddenly feeling weird about this. He pulls me towards him, wrapping his arms around me and places a soft kiss on my lips before pulling back and giving me a smile that makes butterflies take flight in my stomach. I end up leading us to the bed, where we proceed to cuddle up against one another. Charles is playing with my hair as we just sit there in each others company. It feels good to lay with him like this, feels right.

"Charles?" I ask after awhile to which he hums in response so I continue.

"Why don't you ever talk about your father and Jules?" I ask, not really sure why because it might ruin the moment but I've been curious about it, wondering if he just doesn't trust me. His hands in my hair stop what they're doing and I can feel him tense beneath me and I instantly regret asking.

"I just assume you know what happened to them, no point in rehashing what happened to them." He answers eventually, his voice sounding tired. Like he's had this discussion many times before. Before I can reply he's pulling away from me, and I feel tears forming behind my eyes because he is pulling away from me.

"I didn't mean about their deaths. I meant about them as people. About what they meant...what they mean to you." I reply sadly, sitting up and wrapping my arms around my legs and leaning my chin on my knees. He doesn't say anything.

"I get it, you don't trust me enough to talk about them. Forget I asked." I whisper as I wipe away a silent tear that is falling down my cheek. A moment later and no response from Charles I silently slip off the bed and make my way to the door to give Charles some privacy to work through his anger with me. When I leave the room, I immediately go to find Arthur. I find him in the living room with Ezra and they both look at me as I approach.

"What's wrong?" Arthur asks immediately, knowing something is wrong.

"I asked Charles why he never talks about your father and Jules and he is upset with me. You might want to go check on him..." I respond, wiping away another tear that snuck out quickly. Arthur looks at me sympathetically before getting up from the couch and heading to Charles.

"Let's go for a walk Mama." Ezra suggests, standing up and walking towards me. He grabs my hand and squeezes it tightly as he walks us to the door of the suite and we walk out.

We find our way to a bluff overlooking the ocean and take a seat on a big rock just off the pathway. Ezra does a good job distracting me by telling me about a girl he's been talking to who he really likes. I tease him relentlessly about it, but I'm happy to see that he's excited about someone. I worry sometimes that karting and racing is all he thinks about so it's nice to know he thinks about more than that.

He also apologizes to me about our argument about my parents; telling me that he realized that they never tried to meet him when he started asking more questions about it. Realizing this, and now not having to worry about paying for karting, he sent all of the money they had previously sent him back to them and told them to stop contacting him and sending him money. That I'm the only family he needs because I'm the one whose always been there for him, not them.

They are not happy about it, and apparently won't leave him alone. I ask him if he wants me to talk to them, but he told me he doesn't want me to have to deal with them and he'll figure it out. By the time we're heading back to the suite, I'm thankful that I was able to have that conversation with him. Somehow I've raised a sweet, intelligent, talented, loyal young man and I can't help but feel proud that I was able to do it all on my own.

"You're my biggest accomplishment baby. I hope you know how much I love you." I tell him before we walk into the suite. He stops me and pulls me into a tight hug.

"I do, Mama. I hope you know how much I love you too. It's you and me against the world, right?" He says with a sad smile. I smile back as my thoughts think back to all of the times I've told him that throughout the years.

"Right, kid. You and me, forever." I whisper as I pull him into another tight hug.

Chapter 19: Feel So Close

Chapter Text

When we step into the suite, we hear nothing but silence. Ezra turns to me, and hands me a note from the entry table from Arthur letting us know they went to one of the restaurants for dinner, telling us to meet up with them once we return. I decide that I'm not up to meet them, opting to stay at the suite. Ezra makes sure that I'm okay before making his way to the restaurant. Since I have the suite to myself, I decide to take a swim in the pool before going to bed early. I'm exhausted from my run, and then all of the emotions I've felt throughout the day. The water feels wonderful as I step into it, and I eventually glide under the water. I startle when I come back up to the surface, when I see Charles standing at the edge of the pool.

"Hey, is something wrong?" I ask, worried something maybe happened to Ez.

"No. Nothing is wrong, except for me being stupid." He replies quietly, and I furrow my brows in confusion which makes him frown.

"I don't understand." I say after a moment when he doesn't explain any further. He smiles slightly at my response and runs a hand through his hair in frustration.

"If you're here because you're worried about me. I'm fine, you can go back to the restaurant." I tell him as I go back to swimming, starting to move across the pool further away from where he's standing. He watches me silently for a moment before responding.

"I'm here because I need to apologize for earlier. You didn't deserve my reaction."

"No need to apologize. I should be the one apologizing to you for even bringing it up."

"No you shouldn't be. You asked for the right reasons, not because you're trying to get a story. I just momentarily forgot that." He tells me and I'm filled with a wave of sadness that Charles has to deal with people who only talk to him about things for a story. That's why I'm surprised he never had me sign a NDA.

"Are you sure you don't want me to sign a NDA?" I ask softly, turning my gaze back to him.

"I'm positive. I will never ask you to sign one." He replies with a sigh. I nod an okay, but don't say anything more as I start swimming my way back to the stairs of the pool so I can get out.

"Okay, well I guess thank you for the apology even though it was unnecessary. Now go back and have dinner with Ez and Arthur." I tell him as I walk to grab a towel near where he's standing. His hands are in his pockets and he's staring at my body as I dry myself off, not moving.

"Come with me." He replies as I finish drying myself off and I shake my head no in response.

"Then I'm staying here." He tells me.

"I'm going to bed now, so please don't worry about me and go back to the dinner." I say with a little annoyance that he's being difficult. He furrows his brow when I say I'm going to bed and takes a step towards me.

"Bed? Already? Are you feeling okay?" He asks with worry and he starts following behind me as I make my way to our room so I can change out of my swimsuit.

"I'm feeling fine. Just a little emotionally drained and want to get some sleep." I reply as I walk into the closet and grab my pajamas, then turn around and head to the bathroom. I'm about to shut the door when Charles follows me in and leans against the vanity as he watches me start to do my nighttime routine.

"Seriously, go have a nice dinner. You'll be bored here otherwise." I tell him as I lather moisturizer on my face.

"Mon soleil, stop telling me to leave. I'm where I want to be."

I tell him fine and continue getting ready for bed. When I'm brushing my teeth, Charles walks out of the bathroom and I wonder where he went off to when I start taking off my bathing suit to put my pajamas on. Just as I get my top off, Charles walks back into the bathroom dressed in only a pair of grey sweatpants. I stop midway putting on my shirt, as I stare at him through the mirror. He bites his lip as he stares at my exposed breasts and my body instantly reacts and blood rushes to my nipples causing them to harden even more than they already were. f*ck, he's so sexy. I slowly pull down my pajama top and clear my throat.

"I'm going to go finish changing in the closet." I say as I grab my pajama bottoms from the vanity and walk past Charles, out the door towards the closet. He smirks at me as I pass and it takes everything in me to not jump him on the spot. Those dimples really do something to me.

Once I'm all dressed for bed, I quickly braid my hair since it's wet and then climb into bed. I assume Charles isn't going to lay down, but to my surprise when he comes out of the bathroom, he climbs into the bed beside me, and pulls me into his arms, so my body is flush to his. My head is resting on his shoulder, and my hand is wrapped around his middle. I close my eyes because I'm honestly so tired, and also because I'm so comfortable. I'm just about to fall asleep when Charles starts talking about his father and Jules and my eyes snap open, my full attention on every word. He tells me story after story about his karting career, about Jules' formula one career, about his fathers formula two career. I listen silently, taking in every word that he tells me. There's times I laugh, times I cry, times where I squeeze Charles a little tighter letting him know I'm here.

He speaks of them so fondly, and so proudly. He tells me all about his promises to them, and all he wants to accomplish but how he gets frustrated with his team sometimes because it seems like they aren't always on the same page. I can tell he's got the weight of the world on his shoulders, trying to make his Papa and Jules proud. But I know they are already proud of the man he is today, the career he's had so far. So I tell him, over and over how they are proud, how if they were here right now they would tell him that he doesn't need to stress over winning, that he's done enough. I tell him over and over until he smiles at me like he believes me.

"I wish they could have met you. I think they would have loved you." He whispers after awhile.

"Me too, they sound like they were amazing. But that's no surprise with how wonderful you are LP." I reply as I turn towards him and place a soft kiss along his jaw. It's not long after that I fall asleep with thoughts of little Charles following Jules around a race track.

I wake up the next morning bright and early. Charles is still asleep beside me so I climb out of bed as quietly as I can so I don't wake him up. I'm not very successful, and I end up jostling the bed a bit when one of my feet gets stuck in the sheet. He rolls over to face me, his eyes barely open as he looks over at me. I tell him to go back to sleep, that I'm just going to the bathroom to which he mumbles something unintelligible and falls back asleep. With his back asleep I quickly do my business in the bathroom and then head out of the bedroom and towards the kitchenette to see if we have anything for breakfast. I don't have success so I decide to call the front desk and order an assortment of pastries, fruit, bacon and sausage, along with toast, yogurt and granola as well as some coffee and tea. They let me know it will be delivered shortly along with the items that Charles had requested the previous night.

For the next 20 minutes as I wait, I look at my phone for the first time since I got off my phone call with Kelly. First I check my text messages, just a couple from Kelly and Lando. I quickly respond to them and then move over to Twitter to see what's been posted there. I've found that it has the most recent things about Formula 1 before most everywhere else and since I've been with Charles I've gotten into the habit of checking it for recent photos. I'm not surprised to see the one of us getting onto the plane in Maranello.

What does surprise me is a photo of me running on the beach from yesterday morning. I didn't even realize I had passed anyone that was focused on who I was, it makes me feel a little uncomfortable. That one is followed by one of Charles and I in the restaurant and one of us walking back to the suite. All of them look innocent enough, but there is a lot of speculation going on. Luckily my name hasn't been released yet, so that must mean they don't know what it is or they are trying to find out information about me so they have a lot to release once they announce it.

There are still crazy people who are trying to sleuth and figure out who I am. They've been scouring Charles social media accounts looking at the people he's recently followed which has lead me to gain a lot of followers. I have made sure my page is pretty locked down on information, I don't even have my full name displayed so even if they figure out who I am they won't get much information from me.

There's a knock on the door that pulls me away from my phone and I go to answer the door. The hotel employee carts in the breakfast I ordered, along with a small gift bag and an envelope for Charles. I thank the employee and they take their leave. I'm curious about the gift bag and envelope but I set them down on the entry room table and cart the food into the kitchen area, setting up everything on the island.

I have just finished setting everything up when Charles walks into the room, looking rumpled and absolutely adorable. He immediately comes over to me, and kisses me on the cheek as he looks at the array of food I ordered. I may have gone a bit overboard but I wasn't sure what everyone would want. Besides we can save most of it and eat it later today or tomorrow.

"A small gift bag and an envelope came for you as well, I set them on the entry room table." I tell him as he grabs a piece of bacon and starts eating it. He gives me a smile as he walks out of the room, heading to get his delivery. A few moments later he's making his way back towards me. He hands me the gift bag silently and I take it from him thinking he wants me to hold it for a second. When he notices me just holding it he tells me to open it. I furrow my brows as I stare down at the gift bag, trying not to be annoyed that he got me yet another gift.

When I look inside the bag, I find a jewelry box and pull it out. I give Charles a pointed look and he just laughs. Knowing he'll make me open it even if I don't want to, I crack open the lid to the box and see a silver bracelet that looks like some kind of charm bracelet based on the fact that it has a small red stone charm hanging from it. It looks handmade and it's beautiful. I smile and thank Charles for yet another gift, giving him a soft kiss and then asking him to put it on for me.

"The stone is red coral that has been gathered locally and handmade here on the island. I thought that I could get you a charm for every place we vacation together." He tells me as he fastens it on my wrist and I melt a little at that idea because that's adorable and I love that it's locally made and sourced.

"Thank you, I love it." I say and then I lean forward to give him another kiss.

It's at that moment that Arthur and Ezra walk into the room. Ezra groans when he sees us but he can't hide the smile on his face when he thinks no one is paying attention. We end up taking our food out to the veranda by the pool and spend the morning talking about American football of all things. I've learned that Charles likes the Miami dolphins but I have a feeling that's because it's the only team he knows. Ezra and I are huge Houston Texans fans thanks to yours truly.

Once we finish our food, I start picking up everyone's plates to take them inside so I can clean up and put the left over food away. I only make it two steps before Ezra is taking the plates from me and Arthur is following him into the kitchen immediately starting to pack away the food so he can put it away. I shout a thank you to them and sit back down next to Charles who is leaning back in his chair and admiring the view we have of the ocean.

After a few minutes the boys come back out and take a seat at the table and we start discussions about what we want to do for the next two days before we have to leave to Monaco. Charles suggests that we rent a boat today and go out in the bay. They boys agree wholeheartedly while I remain silent making Charles turn toward me and raise his eyebrows at me. I smile at him, and nod my agreement even though all I'm thinking about is how expensive it's going to be and how it feels like I'm taking advantage of the situation.

"We'll leave in 20 minutes." He tells the boys as they stand up to go get ready. I stand up too, followed by Charles and we head into our room. Heading to the closet, I grab my swim suit, a pair of cut off jean shorts and a shirt. When I turn around to go to the bathroom Charles is blocking the closet door, and staring at me questioningly.

"What's wrong?" He asks as he takes a step towards me and wraps his arms around my waist.

"Nothing." I reply as I lean forward to give him a quick kiss and brush past him. I promised myself that I wouldn't question what he wants to spend his money on, and I'm trying to stick to it even though it bothers me. He groans lightly behind me, and I feel awful for making him upset but I'm not sure how to act.

I change quickly in the bathroom and put on some sunscreen before stepping out to find Charles sitting on the bed waiting for me. He's dressed in his swim trunks and a white tee shirt and some sandals. He looks up at me as I step out and I give him a bright smile to hopefully make him less angry with me. He stands as I approach and takes my hand in his before leading us out to the living room where the boys are waiting for us.

A few minutes later we are making our way to the front desk of the resort to rent a boat for the day. Charles also asks for them to prepare some food and drinks for us as well. About an hour later, we are officially on the boat, or should I say yacht, and heading out into the bay courtesy of Charles, because of course he knows how to drive a yacht. I sequester myself to the bow of the yacht on a built in lounger, just watching as we glide through the water. Eventually Charles chooses a spot to anchor and that's where we will stay for the remainder of the day.

"Mon soleil, will you tell me why you're pouting?" Charles asks a few minutes later, startling me. I turn to see him leaning on the edge of the boat, his arms closed as he stares at me under Ray-Ban sunglasses.

"I'm not pouting." I reply with a roll of my eyes and I watch his eyebrows shoot up behind his glasses.

"I'm just not used to this. It makes me feel weird and like I don't belong." I say in explanation of my mood. He steps away from the edge of the boat and makes his way towards me, where he comes to stand in front of me. He pulls on my legs so I slide across the lounger and end up right in front of him. He lifts my chin with his fingers so I'm forced to look up at him, and I'm completely at his mercy. I swear he could get me to do anything in this moment, because damn that was sexy.

"You belong here mon soleil." He whispers before bending down to place a kiss on my lips. Butterflies take flight in my stomach at his romantic words and I once again melt. It's at this moment that I realize I've been kidding myself, that there's no way I'll be able to walk away from him. My heart belongs to him.

Chapter 20: Golden Hour

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I unfortunately haven't been able to tell Charles that I want to be with him officially. After my realization on the yacht we were interrupted by Ezra and Arthur who wanted to go swimming. For the rest of the time on the boat we swam, ate, drank and had a good time together. Spending the day with the boys ended up being my favorite thing we've done so far. Then yesterday we spent the day exploring the local area, seeing some historical sights so I wasn't able to tell him then either.

Today is our last day here, we're head to Monaco pretty early tomorrow morning. I wanted to spend the day with Charles, but the boys had other plans. They wanted to get one more game of golf in before we left, and then want to do a circuit workout in since they'll be getting back to their normal work out routines once we're in Monaco. Charles sent me to the resorts spa for the day. I got every type of treatment possible it seems. By the time I'm done, I feel like a brand new woman and look like one too. My skin is glowing and bronzed thanks to the day on the yacht. My hair is shiny and freshly trimmed and my nails are freshly buffed and polished. I don't end up making it back to our suite until around 5:30pm. When I walk in the door, all three boys turn to look at me with bright smiles and I stop in my tracks.

"Stop being creepy. What's going on?" I ask with a chuckle as I make my way further into the living room.

"We're going to dinner on the beach. There's an outfit hanging in the closet for you." Charles tells me as he stands up to give me a kiss on the cheek. I realize now that he's dressed up, and looks very handsome and sexy. He has white linen pants on with a short sleeved button up linen shirt with different color blue stripes and white slip on vans. I turn to look at Arthur and Ezra but they are just in their swim trunks and tee shirts so I realize that this dinner is just for Charles and I.

"Okay, I'll be back in a few minutes." I tell him with a smile and I head into our bedroom to check out what kind of outfit he picked out for me.

I find a satin dress the color of slate blue hanging in the closet. It reminds me of the red one I wore on our first date, with the cowl neck line and material, but this one is a midi dress with a slit up to the thigh. I find a pair of strappy nude heels as well, and I'm thankful that they have a wide heel since Charles said we'll be on the beach. I quickly gather the items and head into the bathroom so I can change and put on a little bit of makeup.

Ten minutes later, I'm making me way back out to where the boys are still in the living room. Arthur and Ezra are now playing a video game and Charles is looking at his phone. All three of their heads pop up when they hear my heels on the tiled floor and I can't help but feel a little self conscious when they don't say anything. I look down at my dress to make sure nothing is amiss and when I find nothing, I look back up at them.

"Wow Mama. You look beautiful." Ezra says after a moment of awkward silence and I smile gratefully at him.

"Smoking hot." Arthur comments and Ezra groans in annoyance while Charles smacks Arthur on the chest lightly, making me laugh. I move my eyes to Charles who is now walking towards me, his expression is one of pure sin and my stomach clenches at what those eyes are promising me. When he gets within arms reach he wraps his around my waist and pulls me close.

"I thought my favorite color on you was red, but I was so badly mistaken. You look absolutely ravishing mon soleil." He whispers seductively in my ear. His words go straight to my puss* and I can feel myself getting wet. I release a ragged breath as he pulls away which makes him smirk devilishly.

"Are we ready to go?" I ask, needing to get some fresh air so I don't drag Charles into our bedroom. Charles nods his head with a knowing smile and we say goodbye to Ezra and Arthur who are distracted by their video game. A moment later we are stepping out the door and Charles is leading us to the beach. I was assuming that it was a restaurant on the beach, one that I hadn't seen yet. But to my surprise it's a private table on a private beach that Charles is leading me to. The pathway is lined with candles as we weave our way down to the beach, where there is a romantic table set for two with votives and small flower arrangements. I gasp as I take it all in, how beautiful everything is.

"Wow Charles, this is so beautiful." I gush as I spin around to look at it all. He smiles at me and then grabs my hand so he can lead me to the table, where he proceeds to help me into my seat and then take his. A moment later a waiter comes from out of nowhere with a bottle of champagne for the table. I smile at him gratefully as he pours me a glass, to which he smiles back. Charles clears his throat, making both me and the waiter break eye contact and I turn to find Charles looking pointedly at the waiter. He quickly takes his leave and I raise my eyes brows at Charles.

"Was that really necessary? He was just being polite." I tell him, knowing he was jealous of the waiter for some random reason.

"Yes, it was. He needed to know that you're mine." He says, but then flinches slightly as he realizes what he said.

"Sorry, I know that you still need time to figure us out, but..." He starts to say but I cut him off.

"No, I don't need any more time. I'm yours Charles. I have been since the day we met in that dingy dive bar." I whisper. Charles stares at me for a moment while he processes what I just told him. Then he breaks out into the most beautiful smile I've ever seen on him, his dimples on full display and all I want to do is kiss him.

"I'm glad you finally came to your senses." He jokes, and I smack him lightly on the shoulder as I laugh.

"No, in all seriousness. Thank you for giving me another chance. You don't know how happy you've just made me. I promise I won't screw it up this time." He tells me, as he grabs my hand under the table and squeezes tightly.

"I wish I could kiss you right now." I tell him as I glance at his lips.

"I wish I could kiss you too mon soleil. How long do you want to wait to tell the world that you're my girlfriend?" He asks, a giddy smile coming over his face. It's then that the waiter comes back from out of nowhere again, with plates of food for us. He quickly sets down our first course, a garden salad and makes his leave without saying a word. I giggle under my breath as I grab my fork to start eating, not realizing how starving I am.

"I'm not sure Charles. Let's just play it by ear. I'm not afraid of people knowing, not anymore. But everything will change once everyone knows. I kind of want to have a little time with it just being us." I tell him in between bites. He chews silently, his face full of contemplation and then finally nods in agreement.

The rest of dinner is spent eating, drinking, laughing and talking. Charles decides after dinner and before dessert that he wants to have a photo shoot, saying that the golden hour was just too good to pass up. Most of the photos were of me, even after much protest on my part. We did get some good ones of us though, my favorite one being of us looking at each other with soft smiles on our faces. I have him immediately send it to me, along with a few others that I liked of him, and me. Shortly after dessert is served and we quickly eat that, while we tease each other under the table. Charles' hand has been slowly moving higher and higher up my thigh and it's driving me crazy.

"Charles, you need to stop." I breath out huskily as I place my fork on the table, my chocolate cake only half eaten.

"Stop what?" He asks with a smirk as he continues eating his cake.

"You know what." I whisper as his hands move even higher, his fingers now toying with the lace of my panties. I bite my lip and close my eyes tightly as my puss* begins to throb, desperate for him to touch me. I hear Charles chuckle lightly and it makes me want to scream in frustration that he thinks this is funny.

"I will get up and leave Charles." I snap in annoyance, my eyes flashing open and narrowing at him as he turns toward me as he licks his lips clean of cake. Damn he's so sexy. I need to get away from him, or I'll end up straddling him right here on the beach, f*ck who sees us.

"Let's go mon soleil." He tells me, as he moves his napkin off his lap and stands up. I can't help but notice the bulge in his pants as he straightens out his pants before helping me up from my chair. I'm relieved to see that he's just as affected as I am. We end up making it back to the suite in record time, both of us anxious to get to somewhere private. When we walk through the door, Charles immediately pushes me against the suite door and kisses me so passionately that I can't help the moan that comes out of my mouth. Luckily I don't hear or see Ezra and Arthur, otherwise I would be so embarrassed. I let Charles kiss me for a moment more before I pull my mouth away from his.

"Let's go to our room, I don't want Ezra and Arthur to walk out to us going at it." I whisper as he kisses my neck. I moan again as his tongue trails from my collar bone up to my ear, and my hand tangles into his hair and pulls gently making him moan softly.

"They have been told to stay in their rooms with headphones on for the rest of the night." He mumbles against my skin as his hands squeeze my ass. My eyes flash open, because what???

"You can't be serious." I say, as I pull his head away from me so he'll look at me. He looks crazed, his eyes hooded and his lips slightly swollen from our kissing.

"I texted them at dinner." He replies and I can't help but laugh even though I should be embarrassed that he texted my son that. But I can't seem to be bothered, when in the next moment Charles is picking me up. My legs wrap around him, and I can feel his hard on against me. He pushes me into the door, causing him to rub against me right where I want him and I forgot everything in that moment. I tug his face to mine and kiss him until we're both breathless.

"Take me to bed, LP." I whisper and he immediately starts walking us to our room, slamming the door behind us before throwing me onto the bed. I laugh as I bounce slightly, but immediately stop when he yanks on my ankles, pulling me to the edge of the bed. My dress slides up so my bottom half is exposed to him. I gasp when I feel him grab my underwear and rip them off of me, why is that so hot? I should be annoyed that he ruined a pair of underwear, but I can't seem to care at all. All I can do is watch him as he bends to his knees in front of me and presses his tongue against my folds. I nearly come on the spot, with how worked up I am right now.

"Stop, I want to come with you inside of me!" I tell him as he sucks on my cl*t, causing me to buck against him and moan so loudly I feel like everyone in the resort could hear me. Luckily I don't have to beg Charles. He places one last lick to my puss* and then stands up. The next moment he's pulling out his co*ck and lining it up to my opening. We stare into each others eyes as he enters me, and I've never felt the way I do in this moment.

The connection we have is nothing I've ever experienced before and I know I never will again, except with him. He starts off with slow movements, but I need more. He must sense it because he starts picking up the pace, while rubbing my cl*t with his thumb. The mixture of his finger teasing me and his co*ck inside of me makes me come quickly and to my surprise he's not far behind me. As he explodes inside of me, he bends down to kiss me. Both of us moan into each others mouths as he continues pumping into me until neither of us can take anymore.

We end up spending the night wrapped up together, and not getting any sleep; making up for the time we lost. By the time the sun is rising, we are exhausted but so very satisfied. Unfortunately we can't sleep just yet, because we're headed to Monaco today. It's still early, but we decide to just stay up. We're currently showering together, even though I made Charles stand 5 feet away from me because I don't think my body could handle having another org*sm. Luckily there are two shower heads in this shower which is excessive but good in this case. After we're clean, we get dressed and finish packing before heading out to the kitchen to grab some food.

Ezra and Arthur are sitting on the island eating when we enter the room. Both turn to look at us with smirks on their faces and I narrow my eyes at them, daring them to say anything because of course they know what was going on last night...and this morning. I should probably feel embarrassed but I'm too tired and sexed up to be. A permanent grin is on my face and I turn to see Charles with one of his own.

"Are you my new step dad?" Ezra asks as I take a seat beside him and my mouth drops open. I turn to smack him as Charles and Arthur both begin to laugh.

"Not yet." Charles replies as he takes a seat beside mine, and kisses my shoulder before reaching for some bacon on the island in front of him.

I feel my cheeks turn pink at his surprising reply. 'Not yet'. Butterflies fill my stomach at the thought of one day being his wife. Ezra looks at me with a knowing smile and I turn away to grab some breakfast. The conversation moves away from that topic quickly thanks to Arthur. I sit and listen to the boys talk as I eat and daydream about the possibility of Charles being my husband and what that would look like. To my surprise I see myself with him and Ezra, but also with potential other children. I never thought I would have more kids just because I didn't think I would ever find someone I would want to have them with. Charles has changed that and for the first time, I'm excited to see what the future may be like.

Chapter 21: Infinity

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We have been in Monaco for about a week and a half and I've already fallen in love with the country. Again, I'm having a hard time believing that I belong in a place like this, with so much wealth it's almost too much. But day after day Charles tells me how I belong, and I'm starting to maybe believe it. Things between us have been going amazing, I've never been so happy and I starting to think I'm ready for the world to know that we are together but still not completely sure.

I'm currently at a small cafe with Kelly having brunch. I've spent a lot of time with her, Penelope and Max since I've been here and it's wonderful having a good friend. I just told her about how I think I'm ready to go public, and she's been giving me advice on how to handle things. She and Max had some trouble at the beginning of their relationship since there was some drama around it mainly because of who Penelope's dad is. Our situations are definitely different but I take her advice into consideration. I still need to talk to Charles about it. He's been busy the past couple of days filming some content for his YouTube channel and for Ferrari.

He's been seeing Joris a lot, and although he hasn't told me he's seen Charlotte; I know that he probably has. I'm afraid to ask him about it since I don't want him to think I'm trying to keep him away from her. I know they are friends, but it's hard to not be intimidated by her and their past. When Kelly and I go our separate ways, I do some window shopping as I walk along the street heading towards Charles' apartment. I periodically snap some photos of things I find beautiful, wanting to remember everything about this place.

I'm stopped on the side of the road, taking a photo of the harbor, when I hear people shout. I turn to look at what they are shouting at and see Charles' Ferrari Pista 488 making its way down the street. It makes me smile seeing people get so excited that it's him. I am near the street by the time he's passing, and somehow we make eye contact. We both break out in smiles, and I give him a flirty wink. He continues driving and I turn to continue on with my walk back to his apartment. A moment later though, my phone is ringing in my hand.

"You shouldn't be on the phone while driving, it's not safe." I answer with a laugh.

"I'm about to park right now. Where are you headed?" He asks and I stop walking, and lean against a planter overlooking the harbor.

"I was just going on a leisurely stroll back to your apartment."

"Do you want to come with me to pick something up and then we can head back together?" He asks and I happily agree since I haven't seen him as much the past few days. We hang up and Charles finds me a few minutes later, then we're walking side by side heading to wherever he's picking something up.

We end up walking into a jewelry store and I narrow my eyes at him as he gives me a cheeky smile. The sales associates immediately come to help us, since everyone knows Charles here. They speak in French so I have no idea what's being said but one of the sales associates keeps throwing me glares throughout the conversation. I politely step away from the conversation, and browse the display cases while Charles is busy.

There is so many beautiful pieces and it's hard not to lust after some of them, particularly a collection called Soleil. I'm staring at a necklace that has two suns connected by rays in gold with little diamonds encrusted. It's gorgeous and the best part is it's adjustable so you can make it short or long. There's even a matching ring and earrings that are just as beautiful. While I'm admiring the pieces, the sales associate who was glaring at me, approaches me from behind the counter with a fake smile. She starts speaking in French but I do the universal sign of not understanding. She laughs under her breath before speaking in English.

"You know, just because you're here with him now; doesn't mean you belong here. Trashy American's aren't meant to be with Monegasques." She whispers with a smile, then proceeds to pull out the necklace like she's showing it to me and continues.

"This necklace is too beautiful for someone like you. You should stick to jewelry that you can actually afford."

I try not to let her words get to me, because after all it's just her jealousy coming out. But it hits a little too close to home with thoughts that I have myself. That I will never be good enough for Charles, that I will never fit in his world. Instead of reacting how she probably thinks I will, I smile brightly at her.

"Thank you for your input. I hope you have the day you deserve." I tell her and walk away from her towards Charles. He's still having a conversation with the sale associate, but when I approach he turns to look at me. His smile instantly falls when he sees my face; I must not be doing a good job hiding my sadness and annoyance. He looks over my shoulder at the woman who said those awful things, and then back to me.

"I'm going to wait outside, okay?" I whisper to him and he nods after a moment, looking once more between me and the woman. Before anyone can say anything else, I'm walking out of the store and taking a deep breath to steady myself. For some stupid reason why eyes are watering, like I'm going to cry and I am so angry with myself for letting her words get to me. I need to get used to them if I want the world to know we are together, because she won't be the only one who thinks those things. Only a couple of minutes later Charles is walking out of the store with a bag in hand but he doesn't look happy. He finds me sitting on a planter a little bit down the road from the store and immediately comes to my side. I'm about to ask him what's wrong when he shakes his head and starts walking us to where he parked.

There's a crowd of people surrounding his car as we make our way to it, but for the first time I don't see him stop to give autographs or take photos. He just smiles politely as he helps me into the passenger seat and then climbs in to the drivers seat a moment later. I turn to look at him as he starts the car, seeing he's tense based on how clenched his jaw is. He drives away a moment later and we're weaving through the streets of Monaco heading to his apartment.

"Are you okay LP?" I ask after a few tense moments.

"What did she say to you?" He demands with anger and I glance out the window at the passing buildings.

"Nothing that wasn't true." I laugh with a shake of my head.

"That didn't answer my question."

"She told me that I don't belong here with you. That a trashy american will never end up with a monegasque and that their jewelry was much too beautiful for me and I should stick to jewelry I can actually afford." I confess, tears pricking my eyes once again.

"SHE WHAT?!" He explodes and pulls the car over abruptly on the side of the road. I gasp and turn to him in complete shock to find him grabbing his phone. Immediately I know what he's planning on doing and I grab his phone from his hand before he can do it.

"Mon soleil, give me the phone." He grits out with obvious anger.

"Absolutely not!" I shout and Charles looks away from me with obvious annoyance and starts speaking in French.

"Charles! Please stop. There's no point in making a big deal out of it. It is what it is, there's no reason to ruin someone's livelihood over it." I tell him as I unbuckle myself and lean over the center console to grab his face so he'll look at me.

"She shouldn't get away with treating you that way. It's unacceptable." He responds with anger and I'm not sure how to change his mind. I know that the second he has his phone back he'll be calling the store, so I kiss him. I don't even care if people can see us and will take our photo. I just need him to know that I don't care what she said, even if I might believe it. I'd be stupid not to be with him while I had the chance, even if it's not forever. He kisses me back after a moment, his hand tangling in my hair and holding me hostage, not like I'm planning on going anywhere. He tries to deepen the kiss but I pull back from him, not wanting to go too far in his car in broad daylight.

"I want to go public LP. I'm ready." I say as I rest my forehead on his.

"Are you sure? Even after what happened today?" He asks, pulling back so he can look me in the eyes.

"Especially after what happened today. I'd be stupid not to let the world know that the trashy American was able to catch the attention of thee Charles Leclerc." I tell him with a smile and a laugh. He narrows his eye when I say trashy American but ends up laughing a moment later. Then he's leaning forward and kissing me again and I melt into him, deepening the kiss with the press of my tongue against his. We are interrupted by the sound of Charles phone ringing in my seat. I pull away from him and grab it to hand it to him, only to see the name displayed on the screen...Charlotte.

My stomach drops as I pick it up, and hand it to him quietly. How is it that every time we're in a good place, she makes herself known? I know she's not doing it on purpose, at least I would hope she's not, but I'm not sure how to handle it. He furrows his brow when he sees my face fall, before looking down at the name. To his credit he doesn't answer the call, but I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing. I ignore his stare and put my seatbelt back on, while I stare out the window.

"Mon soleil." Charles whispers, but I don't turn to look at him.

"Don't Charles. Let's just go back to your apartment, okay?" I say hoping that he'll drop it and drive. He starts his car again, and we're pulling out onto the road once more just as his phone rings again. I shake my head in annoyance as he ignores it again. Not even thirty seconds later, his phone is ringing again.

"You might as well just answer it, seems like it's important." I snap and instantly feel stupid for doing so. Charles sighs as he answers in French. I tune him out as he speaks with her, since I can't understand anything he's saying anyways. Instead I pull my own cell phone out of my purse and text Kelly.

Me: Charlotte just called Charles three times in a row.

Kelly: What? Why?

Me: Who knows.

Me: What am I supposed to do? Just ignore every time he talks to her? Pretend it doesn't bother me?

Kelly: I don't know babe. It's a tricky situation.

Me: Yeah...it sucks.

I look up to find us approaching Charles' apartment, and he's still on the phone. He pulls into his parking space a moment later and I immediately get out of the car and head to the elevator without waiting for him. I hear him close behind me still talking and I get more and more angry by the second. As we wait for the elevator I check my phone again to see if Kelly has texted me back, but she hasn't. Just as I'm about to put my phone away my phone vibrates, with a phone call from Lando. I furrow my brows in confusion, wondering why he would be calling me since he's not in Monaco right now. I saw him a few days ago but he was supposed to be in England.

"Hey! How's my bestie enjoying England?" I answer with a smile, thankful for the distraction. Lando laughs into the phone and I smile even bigger.

"It's cold, I wish I was in Monaco." He replies wistfully.

"When are you going to be back? You owe me a rematch!" I say, just as the elevator door opens. Charles is still on the phone, but he looks angry. I'm not sure if he's angry with Charlotte or me? Either way I ignore him as I listen to Lando's response.

"I should be back by the end of the week. We can have our rematch then, and order some pizza?" He asks.

"Sounds perfect and just what I need!" I reply with a sigh.

"Oh no. What happened?" He asks, instantly knowing something is up with me based on my response. I glance over to Charles who is speaking in clipped French, debating on if I should say what I'm about to say in front of him. Luckily the elevator doors open and we walk into his apartment. I immediately head into the bedroom and shut the door behind me, effectively telling him to stay out, even though it's his room.

"Charles is on the phone with Charlotte." I tell him once the door shuts.

"I'm not surprised, Lyd." Lando answers and I frown. He's constantly warning me about the two of them.

"I know you're not, but for once can you just be nice and tell me that it's nothing and I'm just freaking out for no reason!" I snap.

"You wouldn't have told me if you wanted to hear that..." He replies and I groan in annoyance because he's right.

"Whatever. Call me when you get back into town." I tell him to which he chuckles lightly and tells me he will.

Once I hang up the phone, I head out of Charles' room to see if I can find him. I don't immediately see him, but then I hear the piano. Making my way to the living room where his piano is, I find him sitting on his piano bench. I lean against the door jam of the living room and watch him as he plays Infinity by Jaymes Young. I'm so in awe of him, just like I was the first time I heard him play when we first got to Monaco. I had no idea he played, and was pleasantly surprised when he played me an original song when I asked him to play me something.

As I watch him, I realize just how much I love him but how terrified I am of that. Especially when his ex is still around as much as she is. I stand there the whole time he plays, contemplating if I should ask him to cut ties with her or if I should just pretend I don't care even though he knows I do.

"Everything okay?" I ask, startling Charles based on how to turns to face me. He watches me warily from across the room, I guess trying to figure out if I'm being facetious or not. I turn away from his stare as I enter the living room and head to sit on the couch.

"Joris needed to get ahold of me and his phone died." He replies and I instantly turn to face him, trying to see if he's telling the truth. I see nothing but honesty in his eyes and I instantly feel so stupid for jumping to conclusions.

"Oh." I say awkwardly as I turn back around, shutting my eyes in embarrassment.

"Who were you talking to?" Charles asks after a moment of silence.

"Lando."

"I didn't realize you two were so close." He comments with a hint of jealousy that's accentuated by the piano keys he's hitting aggressively.

"We're just friends. You don't have any reason to be jealous, Charles." I reply as I turn around on the couch to face him. He stops playing and turns to face me, his gaze full of frustration and he narrows his eyes like I'm lying.

"Look if I can deal with you still talking to Charlotte, then you need to be okay with me and Lando being friends."

"I am not still talking to Charlotte, Lydia!" He snaps and I flinch from the outburst. He immediately calms down once he sees me taken aback by his response and apologizes.

"I haven't spoken to her since Hungary. Joris, Charlotte and I agreed that she would remain away from the paddock because it was making you uncomfortable and that we would limit how much interaction we have until you two can properly meet and get to know one another or until you're comfortable with her and I together." He tells me and for some reason I'm irrationally angry by this.

"Awesome, so now Joris and Charlotte probably hate me. And why did you wait until just now to tell me this?" I say angrily, this whole situation is so frustrating. I'm a thirty year old woman and it feels like I'm in f*cking high school. I guess that's my fault for not being able to handle Charles and Charlotte's friendship. Charles groans behind me and I can hear him get up from the piano bench and make his way towards me. He stops in front of me and holds out his hands, letting me know he wants me to grab them. I hesitate for a moment before I grab them and he's pulling me up towards him.

"I didn't tell you because I was busy getting you back, and then once I had you again I was distracted and not thinking about Charlotte or Joris at all. And they don't hate you, they understand." He tells me and I stare into his eyes, trying to see if he's telling me the truth. I only see honestly in those green depths so I relax in his arms, and hug him tightly.

"Can I give you your present now?" He asks after a minute and I pull away from him with confusion. He smiles and grabs the bag from the jewelry store, holding it out to me. I don't take it though.

"I'm not accepting any more presents." I tell him with a shake of my head and he frowns. He sets the bag back down and I thought I was going to actually win the argument when he starts pulling out three jewelry boxes and setting them on the table in a row, opening each one so the contents are showing. I gasp when I see the same jewelry that I was looking at this afternoon. Did he ask to buy what I was looking at, or was this what he was always picking up?

"I'm confused..." I tell him as I look from the jewelry to him. He looks at me like I'm the confusing one.

"Why are you confused?" He asks.

"Did you pick this out before today?"

"Yes, I ordered these last week and had them engraved and they weren't ready until today." He replies and I'm shocked. Tears form in my eyes and I turn to Charles, not being able to fully comprehend how I feel in this moment.

"Why do you look like you're going to cry?" He asks as he grabs my face in his hands.

"This was the jewelry I was looking at in the store, when the sales associate came up to me." I whisper as a tear falls from my eye. Charles' eyes widen in surprise and then soften when he realizes why I'm so emotional. He leans forward and kisses my tear away and then kisses my mouth. My eyes squeeze tightly, as does my heart. I can't believe that he picked out the pieces that I was lusting over this afternoon, it's almost like it's fate.

Chapter 22: Universe

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The following day, we both wake up to massive amount of notifications on our phones. From what I can gather from my texts and social media is that photos of Charles and I were published. We pull up twitter to see what the fuss is and are immediately staring at photo after photo of us from yesterday, at the jewelry store and then in the car. Photos of us kissing, like full on kissing where there is no doubt that we are. I glance at Charles to see how he's reacting but am met with a blank face. He's too busy looking at the comments beneath the thread of photos. I don't bother, I just climb out of bed and head into the bathroom. Just as I'm finishing up in the bathroom, Charles walks in holding my ringing phone.

"Hey baby!" I say happily when I see that it's Ezra. He's been staying with Arthur since we've been in Monaco because he didn't want to be around Charles and I, saying that we're 'too loved up'.

"Mama, are you okay? I just saw the photos." He asks sounding worried and I furrow my brows.

"Of course I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be?" I ask with a laugh.

"Because now everyone knows you're dating Charles?"

"Oh, we decided yesterday to go public! So really this worked out perfectly." I tell him and he laughs.

"Well I'm relieved and happy for you!" He tells me and I smile brightly.

"Thanks baby. I'm happy for me too." I laugh as Charles wraps his arms around me, having listened to my side of the conversation. He starts kissing my neck and I no longer can hear what Ezra is saying.

"Mama! Mama?" I hear him yell and I snap out of it and push Charles away from me.

"Sorry baby, I was distracted..." I trail off as Charles turns on the shower and starts taking his clothes off.

"Oh god, I know what that means. I'll talk to you later Mama. Love you!" He tells me and hangs up before I can respond.

I set my phone down on the vanity and remove my clothes, joining Charles in the shower. For the next hour, we make sure that we're extra clean and very satisfied. The rest of the morning, we catchup on responding to our friends who have asked us about the photos, letting them all know that we are officially going public.

Later on in the afternoon, I start curating an Instagram post to officially make it official that we're together but I decide I'm going to have some fun with it. My plan is to have a photo dump of different photos over the last two months that I've taken when we've been together, but with photos where you can't really see our faces and then one of the last photos will be obvious that it's Charles and then the last photo will be us kissing and I'll caption it with song lyrics to Universe by Kelsea Ballerini. Before I post it I show Charles to make sure he's okay with it, because there's no way I'll post anything unless he's fine with it. It's his reputation on the line, not mine.

"Are you sure you want to post that?" He asks as his eyes furrow. My stomach falls by his reaction and I grab my phone from his hand and stare down at the post.

"I was sure, but it seems like you don't want me to, so I won't." I tell him as I delete the draft so it can't be posted. He starts to say something but I turn away from him to head to his bedroom. He grabs my arm and pulls me back to him, grabbing my face in his hands.

"I'm just trying to protect you." He whispers as he tries to get me to look at him. My eyes snap to his then, I see sincerity in them but also something else, trepidation and it's the first time I realize that he may not want people to find out who I am. That he might be ashamed of me and my past.

"I know." I whisper back with a sad smile, and push away from him once more. This time he lets me go.

Once inside of his room, I head to his closet where my clothes are now hanging and I can't help but laugh about how I've just made myself at home here. Most of these clothes aren't even mine really, they're ones that he bought me. Beautiful clothes that I absolutely love, and would have chosen for myself but they don't feel like mine because I didn't pay for them. I realize in this very moment why he's probably been buying me so many things...so that the world sees someone who is good enough to be with him, because my wardrobe before him was definitely not up to his standards.

My heart hurts at that realization and again I find myself irrationally angry. I start digging through the clothes until I find something of my own, finally finding some old Levi jeans with natural holes in the knees - ones that I put in them from having them for so many years, as well as my University of Texas Longhorns crewneck sweater. To finish off the look, I add my old converse that are now a nice faded black. I take off all of all the jewelry I'm wearing, besides my Cartier one since I have to have a special screwdriver to remove it. None of it is actually mine that I owned before Charles and walk out of the closet feeling much more like myself. I'm about to walk out of Charles' room when the door opens and I come face to face with him.

"Mon soleil. Can we talk?" He asks, looking stressed. I nod and he leads us to the bed.

"If you want to post those photos, you can. I just thought since they don't know your name yet that we would just wait." He explains.

"It's only a matter of time before they find it out Charles, I wouldn't be surprised if it's already out since this morning." I counter. He's about to respond when his phone rings. He sighs in annoyance but pulls it out of his pocket and answers it. He's speaking French to whoever is on the line and he's not happy about whatever they are telling him. He hangs up the phone a minute later and groans in annoyance.

"That was Joris. He needs me to come and film something." He tells me apologetically. I give him a small smile letting him know I understand.

"Why don't you come with me?" He asks after a moment and I'm surprised. He's never invited me with him to these types of things before, but maybe things are different since we're officially out in the public.

"Okay, let me just change." I tell him as I stand up from the bed, heading to the closet. He grabs my arm before I can make it a step, and moves to stand in front of me.

"Don't. You look great." He tells me as he leans forward to kiss me. When he pulls away he looks at me confused because my face is one of shock.

"Why do you have that face?" He chuckles.

"I'm just surprised. All the clothes you've gotten for me are a lot different than this. I just thought you wanted me to look a certain way when we go out in public." I tell him honestly and he looks so appalled by my confession.

"I don't care about what you wear. You're always beautiful and sexy to me." He says and I smile.

"Sexy? Even in this?" I ask with a laugh because there is now way he's serious.

"Mhmm. The last time you wore this was back in Italy, the day I came to see you after Hungary. I remember vividly how you looked while riding me wearing only this." He whispers, as he tugs on my sweatshirt. My puss* clenches at the memory.

"I thought that was going to be the last time I had sex with you." I confess, thinking how dumb I was for thinking it was possible to walk away from him. Charles rolls his eyes at that and I push him away lightly, and we both start laughing.

"Let's go mon soleil." He smiles brightly, his dimples on full display and his hand outstretched to me. Butterflies are taking flight as I stare at him before grabbing his hand. I love him.

Our hands stayed intertwined the whole elevator ride down to the parking garage, and even when I both climb into the car, Charles immediately grabs my hand in his once he starts driving. When we arrive at the location he's filming at, there's a crowd of people that approach his car immediately as he pulls up to the valet. He turns to look at me questioningly, silently asking me if I'm ready to which I smile and nod. We climb out of the car and he meets me around the front, grabbing my outstretched hand and immediately bringing it up to his mouth to kiss in front of everyone. I can't help the smile that comes over my face, and I realize photos of this moment are going to be all over the internet in probably less than a minute. A moment later we're walking hand in hand, entering what I now realize is the Monaco Aquarium.

Charles speaks with an employee in French who smiles broadly at the two of us and gives what I assume are directions to Charles. As Charles directs us to wherever we're going, I try to look at everything there is to see. Aquariums are one of my favorites, and I'm mad I didn't even know this was here otherwise I would have already visited. I spot the jellyfish exhibit and slow down to try to see some. Charles looks back at me and stops.

"Mon soleil? Everything okay?" He asks, pulling my attention away from the exhibit.

"Oh yes, sorry. I just love aquariums, especially the jellyfish. Let's go though, I know you're needed for filming." I tell him as I start walking in the direction he was headed. He tugs me back to him and wraps his arms around me.

"I promise we'll come see the jellyfish before we leave." He tells me and I smile brightly before leaning forward and kissing him excitedly.

"Thank you LP." I tell him as I pull away and he laughs like I'm silly.

We finally make our way to the part of the aquarium that has the huge open ocean exhibit with what seems like hundred of different fish species. Charles is immediately approached by several people speaking to him excitedly in French. I recognize Joris who gives Charles a hug and then approaches me with a kind smile, to which I'm relieved.

"Hi, I'm Joris. It's great to finally meet you." He tells me, as he holds out his hand for me to shake.

"I'm Lydia. It's great to meet you too." I say with a smile as I take his hand. Charles steps up to us then and gives us each a smile.

"Sorry for the short notice, but they called me saying they had an opening this afternoon to film this for them and I figured since you're in town it made sense. It shouldn't take too long. You just have to talk a little about the exhibits and how important the research is here. Get some video of you walking around and showing off the different types of exhibits. We'll start in here and work our way around the aquarium." Joris explains and Charles nods along.

"I'll go sit down over there." I tell Charles when he turns to me, pointing to a bench near the back of the room overlooking the large tank. He nods and leans forward to give me a quick kiss before I'm excusing myself and sitting down.

I watch Charles work as he talks passionately about the aquarium and doing a wonderful job of showing off the exhibits. He's speaking in French so I don't understand any of it, but I'm convinced by him; ready to buy a yearly pass myself. It seems like things are about to wrap up and I realize that I don't see any other people except for us. I grab my phone from my pocket to realize we've been here for four hours already and it's 7pm, the aquarium must be closed already. I frown as I realize I probably won't get to see the jellyfish, but quickly push it away because I was able to see the rest of the aquarium. It's a few minutes later that Charles finds me on the bench I've been sitting on in front of the shark tank. I've been busy taking photos every time one swam by.

"You ready, mon soleil?" He asks when he approaches and I turn to smile at him brightly and nod. We walk hand in hand through the aquarium and I realize that I don't see any of his team anymore.

"Where did everyone go?" I ask with curiosity.

"They left. We're the last ones here, except a security guard."

"Oh, gosh. Let's hurry so they can go home!" I tell him as I pick up my pace, but he stops me and directs me towards where I remember the jellyfish exhibit being.

"I promised you we'd see the jellyfish before we left." He tells me and I melt a little inside.

The jellyfish exhibit is tank after tank of jellyfish, of all different colors and sizes. It's pitch black so the jellyfish glow in contrast and I'm absolutely in awe as I admire them. We end up staying in the exhibit for an hour so I can see them all for as long as a I wanted. Charles kept telling me to take my time whenever I questioned if we should leave and I think I fall for him even more. We end up leaving after I get a photo of every jellyfish. Charles even takes a few of me looking at them and I convince him to take one with me as well. As we leave the aquarium I thank the security guard for staying late for us and he just smiles at me like I'm crazy. But I don't care, I'm so happy.

"Thank you, Charles." I say wistfully as we drive away from the aquarium back towards his apartment. He looks over at me with a soft smile, and brings my hand up to his mouth to give it a kiss.

"Of course mon soleil. Anything for you."

"You really need to stop doing so much for me, this relationship is becoming completely one sided." I tell him with the shake of my head.

"How many times do I have to tell you, I like spoiling you. It makes me happy. You being you is enough for me." He tells me and I try to believe him, even though I secretly still feel like I don't deserve him.

Chapter 23: In My Room

Chapter Text

By the end of the week, my identity is out. Charles seems a bit stressed about it, but I was expecting it. Now we wait to see how long it takes for them to find out everything about my past. I've been talking to Ezra everyday about it, because it's going to affect him too, but he seems excited about it. I guess it will be good for his career even though I'm worried it's going to be a lot more intense than he expects. He's heading back to Italy tonight with Arthur because they need to get back to their normal routines with their races starting a bit earlier than Formula 1's. Lando is back in Monaco though, so I'm excited about that. We are planning on meeting up tonight to play some video games and I'm ready to kick his butt.

"Mon soleil?" Charles calls out as he walks into the living room from the elevator.

"In the kitchen!" I call out. I've been sitting on the kitchen island for the past 4 hours working on my lesson plans for the new semester since it's quickly approaching. Charles finds me a moment later and kisses me on the cheek in greeting. I turn to face him so I can get a proper kiss, to which he happily accepts.

"Do you have any dinner plans tonight?" He asks me when we separate.

"I was going to hang out with Lando later, but not necessarily for dinner. Why? What's up?" I ask and notice how he tries to hide his annoyance about me hanging out with Lando. Luckily he doesn't say anything about that.

"My maman wants to meet you, she invited us over for dinner." He tells me and I instantly freeze. I knew his mother lived in Monaco but I didn't think I would have to meet her so soon.

"You don't need to worry. She's going to love you." He tells me when he sees my reaction and I try to believe his words but something in the pit of my stomach is dreading this dinner.

"What time do we need to be at her house?" I ask, glancing at the time on my phone, 4:45pm.

"Around 6." He tells me and my eyes bulge because that doesn't give me much time to get ready. I immediately get up and head to his bedroom. When I get to the closet, I start going through all of the options of things to wear. Charles finds me a moment later and looks at me with concern.

"Leave me alone, you're make me more nervous with you staring at me like that." I tell him with annoyance and he laughs. Actually laughs at me. I narrow my eyes at him and he holds his hands up in surrender as he backs out of the closet until I no longer see him. Once he's gone I turn back to my clothes and focus. A few minutes later, I've decided on an oatmeal colored two piece linen set from Reformation and the strappy nude heels that Charles got me in Sardinia. For jewelry I have my Cartier Love bracelet, my dandelion necklace and my flower ring. Now that I have my outfit ready I jump into the shower and take my time with shaving, exfoliating and washing my hair. It's probably excessive but I want to look as best as I can for her.

Once I'm done in the shower, I moisturize my body and start on my makeup. I'm keeping it simple with some concealer, bronzer, mascara and highlighter. It only takes me a few minutes to do that, and then I'm onto my hair. I decide to give myself a blow out, which always takes a lot of time because of how much hair I have. Charles ends up finding me once again after awhile. He looks so good in a pair of tan linen shorts and a white short sleeve button up linen shirt that I get distracted and forget to move the blow dryer from the ends of my hair, and they get too hot and start to burn.

"sh*t!" I shout as I check out the damage to my ends. It's not as bad as I thought it was going to be.

"What?! What happened?" He asks, rushing over to me.

"You distracted me! I told you to leave me alone!" I shout and he looks like a scared animal.

"Mon soleil, you need to calm down. Stop stressing, everything will be okay." He tells me as he slowly approaches me, grabbing the blow dryer from my hand and turning it off before setting it down. Luckily I was on my last section of hair otherwise I would have probably punched him.

"Charles, I don't think you realize how big of a deal this is. Your maman is the only parent we have between the two of us. You will never have to meet mine, so you don't have to worry about them not liking you. But if your maman doesn't like me, then what will happen? We wouldn't survive that." I whisper, trying to keep my emotions in tact.

"She will love you, trust me." He tells me as he leans forward and gives me a kiss.

"Okay." I whisper in agreement, even though I'm not sure that I do.

I quickly get dressed in my outfit and we are walking out the door ten minutes later and heading to Charles' mothers house. The whole drive there my anxiety is through the roof. Charles is holding my hand and trying his best to calm me, but it's no use. I'm a bundle of nerves by the time we are stepping out of the car and approaching the front door of his mothers beautiful home. Charles squeezes my hand in his as he opens the door and we walk in.

"Maman?" Charles calls out as we enter the house and I take a look around. From what I can see so far it's very cozy and homey. There's photos of Charles, his brothers, and father on the walls as we walk down a hall towards what I assume is the kitchen. A female voice calls out in response, but it's in French so I'm not sure what was said. Charles has a bright smile on his face as he directs us to where his mother is. My guess was correct, and we find her in the kitchen. She's chopping up what looks to be the contents of a salad, while there is pasta boiling on the stove. She looks up as we enter with a friendly smile and I finally relax a little bit.

"Mon petit garçon, c'est si bon de te voir. Et ça do it être Lydia." She says brightly as she sets down the knife she was holding and walks towards us. I have no idea what she said besides my name so I just smile brightly at her as she gives Charles a tight hug.=

"Lydia doesn't know French, Maman." He tells her as she pulls away from him to face me. Her smile falters for a moment at his comment but she quickly replaces it with another smile as she holds out her hand for me to shake, which I take quickly not wanting her to be annoyed with me.

"It's so lovely to meet you, thank you for inviting me over to your beautiful home." I tell her as I take a good look around the kitchen. It's gorgeous with white cabinets and oak colored butcher block counter tops with a large island in the middle of the room with bar chairs lining one edge.

"It's my pleasure. I couldn't wait to meet the woman who has captured my Charles heart. Tell me about yourself." She says as she walks back to the cutting board and starts chopping tomatoes. I smile awkwardly, trying to figure out what kind of information she wants to know. Glancing at Charles for some help, I find him looking through bottles of wine along the opposite side of the kitchen so I guess I'm on my own.

"Well let's see. My full name is Annabelle Lydia Kincaid, but since I was a teenager I've gone by Lydia. I'm originally from Austin, Texas but moved to Parma, Italy about 8 months ago now so I could be close to my son. I am a professor at the University of Parma..."

"Excuse me, but did you say son?" She interrupts me and my stomach instantly drops. Did Charles not tell her anything about me?

"Umm yes, I have a 15 year old son who is on a karting team based in Parma. He's lived in Italy the past 5 years while I was finishing up college in Texas." I tell her, providing too much information but I'm nervous and that leads to me rambling. She furrows her brows and sets her knife down. Her gaze is fully on mine now and she looks utterly confused.

"15, you said? Forgive me, but how old are you?" She asks me and I internally cringe because this is going to end badly.

"Yes, he'll be 16 in December. I just turned 30 in February." I tell her and wait patiently while she does the math and I know exactly the moment when it snaps into place how young I was and yup, there's the judgement in her gaze. Charles decides at that moment to come back to the conversation and he is completely clueless.

"Tu ne m'as pas dit qu'elle avait un fils, et celle qu'elle avait à l'adolescence pas moins." She says to Charles whose face turns confused. I try not to be affected by her clear judgement, especially with her switching to French after Charles told her I don't understand it.

"I didn't think it was any of your business maman." Charles responds in English and I could kiss him...thankful that he responded in English and not French. Pascale turns back to me then with a strained smile and I try to return one but fail completely, now feeling very awkward.

"What is your sons name?" She asks to which I smile for real as I think of Ez.

"Ezra."

"Ezra...and you said your last name is Kincaid? Is his the same?" She asks questioningly and I'm confused about where her line of questioning is but I nod in confirmation. I didn't put his fathers last name on the birth certificate since he wanted nothing to do with us.

"Charles, is he the same Ezra Kincaid we are sponsoring?" Pascale turns to Charles and asks and my blood immediately turns to ice because what is she talking about? Charles' face falters as he hears his mothers question and I know for fact that the sponsorship Ezra mysteriously got is from him. What the f*ck. Instead of answering his mother, he turns to me with wide eyes and I turn away from them so I can hide the tears threatening to spill over at the moment.

"If you'll excuse me for a moment, I need to use the bathroom. Can you tell me where it is?" I say a moment later, turning back towards them but avoiding Charles' gaze and focusing on his mother. She directs me in the right direction and I am walking as fast as I can without looking crazy to the bathroom. Before I can make it though, I hear Charles calling after me and running to catch me. He grabs my arm and yanks me towards him so I'm looking at him.

"Please don't. We'll talk about it later when we're back at your apartment. Just give me a minute and I'll be back out." I whisper, not wanting to cause a scene at his mothers house when I'm trying to make a good impression even though I'm failing miserably. He stares at me for a few moments, clearly wanting to have a discussion now but something in my gaze must tell him I'm not in the mood and he finally nods and releases me.

I immediately walk into the bathroom and shut the door, locking it behind me. Leaning onto the sink, I take a few deep breaths, trying to gain my composure back. I can't help but feel absolutely betrayed and I don't even know why; I guess for the fact that he didn't tell me, and when I told him about it he acted completely surprised even though he's the one who made it happen. Are Ez and I just charity to him at this point? It's starting to really feel that way.

Stepping out of the bathroom a couple of minutes later, I make my way back to the kitchen. I hear Charles and Pascale whispering to one another in French. I wish I could eavesdrop but unfortunately or maybe fortunately I can't understand a word they are saying. When I step into the kitchen I put on a fake smile, trying to show them I'm fine. Charles can see right through it, and I'm sure Pascale can too but ignores it.

"I'm sorry Lydia. I wasn't aware that you didn't know about the sponsorship." She tells me.

"I just wasn't aware the corporation who was sponsoring Ez was yours." I reply, trying not to sound annoyed. Charles is about to reply to me but I cut him off.

"Would you like some help Mrs. Leclerc?" I ask, needing a distraction. Unfortunately it looks like most everything is done at this point.

"You and Charles can go set the table outside for us while I put the food in serving dishes." She tells me with a smile as she turns to grab plates and utensils, before handing them to me and points to the french doors off the living room heading into the back yard. I smile at her as I take the items from her. When I walk past Charles he tries to take them from me but I ignore him and keep walking past him through the french doors. I hear him sigh deeply as he follows me but again, I ignore him.

I start placing the items on a picnic table near a large oak tree. It's absolutely beautiful and I'm completely in love with everything about this house. Charles tries to catch my eyes but I evade him, not wanting to get into anything while here. I know he's frustrated but so am I. Just as I'm finished setting out the utensils, Pascale is walking out with two large bowls - one with a garden salad and one with a red sauce pasta dish. She smiles broadly as she looks between Charles and I before setting down the food at the center of the table.

"Did you pick out a bottle of wine for us Charles?" She asks and he nods before heading back into the house to grab it, along with some wine glasses. Pascale smiles at me and directs me to sit down which I happily do, wanting to get this dinner on the road so we can eat and hopefully leave without any more revelations and issues. Charles returns while we're dishing our plates and hands each of us a glass of red wine. Pascale holds up her glass to cheers and Charles and I begrudgingly do the same. She says something in french and we clink glasses. Charles narrows his eyes at her and I'm curious to know what she said but don't bother asking. We start eating and it's silent for a few minutes before Pascale turns her gaze to me.

"Lydia, do you want more children? You said you are 30. That's not very young." She asks and I nearly spit out the sip of wine I had just taken. I set down my wine glass and clear my throat. Charles looks like he wants to crawl under a rock.

"Honestly, I never thought I would meet anyone I would want to have children with. But after meeting Charles I've definitely been thinking about children and how I would possibly want more depending on how things go of course." I say honestly and I watch as Charles head whips to mine. His eyes have so much emotion in them but I can't decipher what he's feeling.

"That's wonderful, but it will be very difficult with your age, especially because if it were to happen, it would be years before you two would start a family." Pascale says and I officially want to crawl into a hole and die.

"Maman!" Charles reprimands her.

"What? It's true. If you two were to date for a year or two, then get married, and decide to have babies, it might take time to conceive due to her age. Because she will be 33-34 by then. Not to mention you always said you wanted 3-4 children. If she were to get pregnant back to back that would still leave her having a child at the age of 38-39? I don't think you've two have thought about this, that's why I'm bringing it up." She says like she's doing us a favor when I know exactly what she's doing.

She doesn't think I'm good enough for Charles and she's trying to get into his head. Based on his expression, it's working. Tears are filling my eyes and are threatening to fall but I don't let them. I just look down at my plate and respond politely to her nasty words.

"Trust me, I've thought a lot about it. Like how you can have babies in many different ways, such as surrogacy or even adoption. I may be old but that doesn't mean I can't give Charles the family he desires one way or another." I reply to which she doesn't really have a response to, just makes a humming noise. Charles smiles at me like he's completely shocked that I've even thought about this in such depth, but it feels like it's all I've been thinking about for the past few weeks.

The rest of dinner is awkward but tolerable. We talk about Charles' upcoming races and I'm thankful that talk has turned to work because I don't have to be a full participant. We're nearing the end of the night and I've volunteered to clean the dishes so I'm inside the house while Charles and his mother are still sitting at the picnic table. I can hear them talking though, the sound traveling perfectly somehow. So I hear the next thing Pascale says completely clear.

"I ran into Charlotte the other day. She is so lovely and wonderful Charles. I really wish you could figure things out with her, she's much more appropriate for someone like you." Pascale tells Charles in English. I freeze at the sink, knowing she said that purposely for me to hear, otherwise she would have said it in French.

"Appropriate? What does that even mean? You know what, it doesn't matter anyways...Charlotte is with Joris maman." Charles replies and my stomach falls. That's what he decided to say? It makes it sound like the only reason they aren't together is because she's with Joris. Not because of me.

"She would take you back in a heartbeat if she knew there was a chance." She replies and I have to squeeze my eyes closed so tears don't fall.

"If she wanted to be with me, she would have gotten back together when I tried to last year." He replies and I fail at keeping the tears at bay.

"Things might be different for her now." She comments.

"You're mistaken. She is happy with Joris."

"And what about you? Are you happy with this Lydia?"

"What is your problem with her? I don't understand where this is coming from..."

"I'm just worried you're not thinking this through. She's beautiful and I think that's blinding your judgement."

Charles doesn't respond immediately so I abandon the dishes in the sink and walk to the kitchen island to find my purse where my phone is. I don't want to hear anymore. Pulling up my texts, I call the last person who texted me.

"Can you come pick me up at Charles' mothers house?" I immediately ask when they answer the phone. Luckily they don't ask questions, probably because of the way my voice cracks. They promise to be there in a few minutes and we hang up the phone. As rude as it is, I don't go and say goodbye to Pascale or let Charles know I'm leaving. After what I just had to enduring tonight, I have no energy to be polite. I decide to wait on the front porch.

I'm getting antsy, waiting for my ride. My phone vibrates in my hand and I answer it without looking, thinking it's my ride telling me they're close.

"Mon soleil, where did you go?" Charles' voice asks in my ear and I cringe. f*ck me.

"I'm leaving. I can't deal with all of this right now." I tell him just as Lando's new McLaren pulls into the driveway and I breath a sigh of relief as I start walking towards him.

"What? Deal with what?!" Charles asks frantically and I swear I can hear him running. Just as I get to the door of Lando's car, the front door swings open and Charles comes running out, looking completely flustered.

"Lydia! What the f*ck?" He asks as he grabs my hand. It's then that Lando decides it's a good idea to step out of the car and I cringe. I do not need all of this drama right now.

"Charles, just go back inside. It seemed like you and your maman were having a really great heart to heart about how good you and Charlotte are together and how she's much more suitable for you than I am." I tell him as tears fall my down my cheeks.

"That's not what was happening." He protests and Lando is now standing beside me looking angry. Charles looks even angrier.

"Sure sounded that way to me Charles. Honestly with that, on top of the whole baby thing and sponsorship thing I am done. I can't take anymore hits, I won't survive it. So I'm going to hang out with my friend and hopefully forget this night ever happened. I'll see you back at your apartment later tonight." I tell him as I take a step back from him. Lando then opens the door for me, effectively pushing Charles back and away from me. The two have some words, which I can't hear over the rumble of the car, before Lando walks around to the drivers side and climbs in. Charles looks like he's almost about to cry as we pull out of the driveway but I can't seem to care. I feel numb, yet again.

Chapter 24: Daylight

Chapter Text

Lando doesn't ask any questions, doesn't even say a word as he drives us to his apartment. Neither do I. I don't say a word even as we walk into his apartment or when he silently hands me a oversized sweatshirt. Not even as he hands me the remote controller for Mario cart. We play for the next hour without saying a word. I'm thankful for Lando in this moment, for not pushing me to talk or talking nonsense when I pretend to listen.

I haven't cried any tears since in front of Charles but something triggers me after our last game and the waterworks start and I can't stop sobbing. Lando immediately sets his controller down and wraps me in his arms, whispering how everything is going to be alright over and over again. Eventually I calm down and now tears are just flowing silently and not as aggressively. I pull away from him and wipe my face.

"I'm sorry, this is not the night you signed up for." I tell him sadly and he immediately pulls me back into his arms and squeezes me tightly.

"Stop saying ridiculous things Lydia. Do you want to talk about it?" He asks and I debate on if I should tell him. I end up spilling it all to him, needing someone to know what happened. By the end of telling him everything he's angry and ready to go to battle for me. It makes me smile sadly.

"I don't understand what his deal is with Charlotte. When they were together they were so unhappy, I will never understand how they just circle one another over and over again." He rants and I sit silently, numb to it all.

"Like why ruin something so great that he has with you, something that obviously makes him happy and be pining for something that made him so miserable, it makes no sense." He continues and I wish he would stop.

"She's his ideal woman. Beautiful, thin, monegasque, elegant, young, someone his mother approves of, basically perfectly sculpted for him." I say sadly.

"Don't be ridiculous." Lando responds with a roll of his eyes just as his phone rings. He picks it up and glances it at the screen before showing it to me. Charles is calling. Probably wondering where I am and why my phone is off. The first thing I did when we pulled away from Pascale's house was turn my phone off.

"Ignore him." I say but Lando does the opposite and answers it and puts it on speaker so I can hear.

"Is she still with you?" Charles says in greeting, sounding stressed out. I don't say a word as Lando replies.

"Yes, she's here."

"Can you tell her that I'm sorry and that I wish she would come home so we can talk." He says and Lando looks at me then, raising his eyebrows.

"I'll be at your apartment in a few minutes." I respond, knowing that he'll probably keep calling until I'm walking into his apartment.

"Mon soleil, I'm so relieved. I'll be waiting." He breathes out a deep breath and I try not to read into it. When Lando hangs up the phone he stares at me like I'm an idiot and shakes his head like he's annoyed with my choice to leave here.

"Lan, don't be angry with me. I need to talk to him, I love him..." I confess out loud for the first time. Lando just keeps staring at me like I'm making a dumb decision. He's too young to understand that when you love someone you try to make things work no matter what happens. Life is too short and time is too precious. He pulls me into a hug when I stand from the floor and find my bag where I left it in his kitchen.

"He doesn't deserve you and I don't think you should leave but I understand why you think you need to. Let me drive you." He tells me as we walk to the front door.

"No. I'll walk, I don't want to risk getting photographed with you this late." I tell him and he frowns and furrows his brow but finally nods. I give him another quick hug and a kiss on the cheek before I walk out of his apartment.

As I walk through the streets of Monaco I try to figure out how I want to handle this whole situation with Charles. I love him, and I want to be with him. At this point, he has a lot of explaining to do about the sponsorship and his feelings for Charlotte. Deep down I know I'll forgive him for all of it, and I'm not sure how I feel about that. He's become so important to me in such a short amount of time, but I'm not positive he feels the same. I know he likes me, otherwise he wouldn't have brought me on this vacation with him.

As I walk into Charles' apartment building my stomach is full of tension and worry but I keep moving my feet until they are inside of the elevator. I take one deep breath before putting in the code for Charles floor.

A moment later I'm walking into the entry room of his apartment and walking to the kitchen so I can get something to drink. As I get closer to the kitchen, I hear the piano playing; Daylight by David Kushner. Setting my purse down on the island, I stand there and listen to the beautiful song, wondering what Charles is thinking in this moment. The next thing I know, my feet are taking me to him.

My heart clenches in my chest when I see him. He's sitting in front of he piano in only a pair of sweatpants, his hair is disheveled and looks like he's been running his hands through it non-stop, and he has his glasses on. He's so beautiful that it hurts to look at him. I walk towards him until I'm right behind him. He hasn't noticed me yet, and I don't want to scare him so I wait to make my presence known until he's done playing.

"Charles..." I whisper after the song is over and I watch his shoulders sag in relief at my voice before he spins on the piano seat and faces me. His eyes are red rimmed and sad beneath his glasses. Before I can say anything else, his arms are around me, hugging me tight. His head is resting beneath my breasts and he's whispering words in French that I don't understand. My eyes are filling with tears as he holds me tightly, like he thinks I'm going to disappear. I'm not sure why he's acting this way. My heart is hopefully and it's not the first time that I think maybe he loves me too.

"Mon soleil, I'm so sorry about tonight." He whispers, and I hear him sniffle. I pull his head away from me so I can see his face and realize he's crying. I tangle my fingers into his hair as I lean forward so our foreheads meet and close my eyes as I try to figure out what I want to say to him.

"Which part?" I whisper, needing to know what exactly he is sorry about.

"All of it. The sponsorship, the horrible things my maman was saying at dinner, the conversation you overheard after dinner..." He trails off, and I nod.

"I can deal with you not telling me about the sponsorship, I can even deal with your mother disapproving of me, but I can't deal with you giving your mother the excuse that the only reason you aren't with Charlotte is because she is with Joris. That you tried to get back together with her...I can't be second choice, Charles. I wont be second choice." I tell him as a tear slips from my eye. I quickly wipe it away and look away from Charles, who is shaking his head at me like what I'm saying isn't true when I heard him loud and clear. I try to take a step away from him but he won't let me go.

"Lydia look at me, please." He begs and I hesitate for a moment before turning to him once again.

"You aren't second choice. From the moment I saw you outside of that bar in Italy, you've been my first choice. My only choice. You're all I want, and will want. I can't imagine life without you and I'm sorry that I made you question that. That I keep making you question that." He says and I want to believe him more than anything, but I'm not sure I care.

"If that's true then why didn't you tell your mother that? Instead of giving reasons why you and Charlotte won't work, why not give her reasons you and I would work? I don't understand." I shake my head in sadness.

"The whole night had been a disaster, Lydia. I knew my maman wouldn't listen to a word I said about you and I because she's already made up her mind about you, so I was trying to focus on how Charlotte and I would never be getting back together even if she thinks there's something there. I swear to you that there is nothing between Charlotte and I, I told you I'm not going to see her unless you're okay with it. In hindsight, you're right, I should have been telling my maman that you are the only one I want."

"What if your mother never likes me Charles? What then?" I whisper sadly, because I'm just not sure this will work out if she dislikes me. Charles is very close to her and I don't want to cause a rift between the two of them.

"I don't care if she likes you or not. I like you, I want to be with you."

"You should care Charles! She's your mother, the only parent between the two of us, it's a big deal that she dislikes me."

"With time she will realize how dumb she is being and end up loving you, just watch."

"I don't think she'll ever think I'm good enough for you...that I could ever make you happy."

"You make me happier than I've been since before my father and Jules died. I've told her that, and with time she will believe that." My heart is happy to hear him say he's happy with me. Instead of replying, I lean forward and kiss him. I kiss him like I want to do it for the rest of my life, because I do. I love him, and I want to be with him even with all of the drama, all of the heartache. He's worth it to me, and I hope I'm worth it to him.

Charles stands from the piano bench and kisses me deeper, causing my stomach to dip. He quietly leads us to his bedroom, where we proceed to show each other how much we mean to one another. At least that's what I'm doing, and it feels like Charles is doing the same. For the rest of the night we are a tangle of limbs, and by the time I'm falling asleep I have fallen even deeper in love with him. The next morning, we are woken up by Charles' phone ringing non stop. He rolls over with a French curse and answers it with his eyes closed. I watch as his face goes from asleep to panicked in a blink, and he's quickly getting out of bed. He grits out something in French and then hangs up the phone, it dings a moment later and he's scrolling through his phone. His face turns to one of anger as he looks at his phone, and I sit up.

"Everything okay?" I ask and his eyes snap to mine. He walks over to me slowly and sits down beside me and I start to get worried because based on how he's not answering, everything is not okay.

"There are already tons of articles about you, mon soleil."

"So what?" I ask and he frowns.

"They are about your past, Lydia. About Ezra. About how you're just a gold digger whose trying to get to my money..." He tells me and as much as it hurts to know people are saying bad things about me, I knew it was coming so I'm not surprised.

"That sucks, but I knew it was going to happen Charles. I don't know why you're reacting this way...did you really think people were going to be excited about me being a teen mom and completely poor?" I laugh out sarcastically. Charles is about to answer when his phone rings again and he answers it. This time he is speaking Italian so I know it's someone from Ferrari. His brows furrow as he listens to whatever is being said to him and he hangs up a moment later with a mumbled "Si, ciao."

"I'm needed back in Maranello for a meeting with my team. They want me there as soon as possible and are sending the jet to get me here. You're more than welcome to stay until the end of the week like planned or you can come with me and I'll have a car take you back to Parma when we land." He tells me as he stands from the bed and immediately walks into the closet to start packing his bag. I climb out and follow him a moment later and begin to pack myself. I don't want to stay here if Charles isn't here. I guess I could go spend the rest of the week with Kelly and Max but that seems silly.

"Did your team say what the meeting is about?" I ask once our bags are packed and we're wheeling them out into the foyer.

"No." He replies shortly and I frown. He either knows and doesn't want to tell me or he's stressed because he suspects its about something. Deep down I know it's because of me, and the articles that are being written. It's not good PR and they are probably trying to figure out what to do as damage control.

I decide to stay quiet for the rest of the time we're getting ready to leave at his apartment. I stay quiet as we head down the elevator to his car and as he loads are luggage into his car. I stay quiet as we ride to the airstrip and as we board the plane. I stay quiet the whole flight back to Maranello. Partially because Charles is on the phone the whole time, and partially because he hasn't said a word to me besides simple demands and requests. We land and are getting ready to depart of the plane when he finally says something to me.

"I'm probably not going to see you until I come pick you for the Netherlands Grand Prix." He tells me and I frown.

"So I'm not going to see you for a week?"

"I'm sorry, I just have a feeling this week is going to be busy so I don't think I'll be able to make it to Parma." He says as he pulls me towards him and places a soft kiss on my lips. I melt into him realizing this is the first kiss of the day.

"It's okay, don't apologize. It's just I've gotten used to being with you everyday. I'm going to miss you."

"I'm going to miss you too, you don't even know." He whispers as we kiss once more.

When we walk off the plane, there's a black SUV waiting for us. First it's going to take Charles to the Ferrari headquarters in Maranello and then proceed to take me all the way to Parma. We don't talk as we load our luggage into the back and climb in. Charles holds my hand in his as we drive to Ferrari and proceeds to whisper how much fun he's had the past few weeks with me. By the time we are dropping him off, I'm sad.

I don't want to be away from him, but I know he has to focus back on work. And so do I, it's only a couple of weeks before school starts again and I still need to do some last minute preparations to my lesson plans. We promise to talk on the phone tonight and the next thing I know, I'm on my way back to Parma.

Chapter 25: Falling Apart

Chapter Text

I've been back in Parma for only about 8 hours and I am miserable. I miss Charles, but I've also gotten used to having more space...an actual bed and endless amounts of food. I've been spoiled the past month and it's painfully obvious now that I'm back in my 800 sq.ft apartment. It also doesn't help that I haven't heard from Charles yet. I imagine he's been done with his meeting for hours now, but I haven't gotten a phone call or a text back. I'm trying not to worry but I am. I'm about to text him again when I hear someone knock on my door. I furrow my brows wondering who it might be, perhaps a neighbor welcoming me back. When I check the peep hole I immediately break out into a huge smile and open the door excitedly.

"Charles?! What are you doing here?" I ask while laughing. He smiles but it's not his typical bright smile that I'm used to and I know something is not right.

"What's wrong?" I ask before he can answer my question and he grabs my hand and squeezes it.

"I'll tell you inside." He tells me and I nod, moving to the side so he can walk inside the apartment as I shut the door behind us.

I turn towards him and it's like deja vu as I walk towards where he's standing near my bed. He looks sad, and frustrated as he looks up from his shoes to my face as I approach and my stomach drops and my blood turns cold. My eyes turn glassy and my nose flares as I try to keep my emotions in check. Based on his expression and the fact that he's here, standing in front of me means something bad is about to happen. If he was here because he just missed me and wanted to see me, he wouldn't look the way he does right now.

"Just tell me why you're here, Charles." I whisper, as I stop a few steps away from him. He shuts his eyes for a moment, before opening them again and looking to me.

"My team is upset about the articles. They think that we should cool it with the relationship, not make it so public." He grits out and a tear sneaks out of my eye. I quickly wipe it away.

"Why the sudden change when they were fine with it only a couple of days ago?" I say slowly, trying to figure out if he means the whole relationship or just the articles that are currently being ran in the media. Does the public truly care about the drivers' personal lives? Charles cringes then and I furrow my brows in confusion, then I realize.

"They were never fine with us going public...that's why you didn't want me to post on social media." I say, closing my eyes in frustration for being so completely dumb.

"I didn't think it was going to be this bad, Lydia." He tells me and my eyes whip open and I shake my head at his naivety.

"So what does this mean? We're back to hiding? Or are they making you end things with me completely?" I growl out. Charles' jaw clenches and I know he's here to end things with me because his team is asking him to. I blink rapidly so my tears don't fall and look away from him as I shake my head. He starts walking towards me and I back away from him, not wanting him to touch me. He stops his approach and curses something in French.

"It was nice of you to come break up with me in person. Thank you, you can head back to Maranello now." I tell him as my gaze finds his once more. His eyes are glassy like mine, and I watch his jaw clench and his nose flare as he processes my words. He doesn't move to leave though, much to my annoyance. A tear falls down my cheek but this time I don't wipe it away, there's no use; more are sure to come.

"I'm not breaking up with you. We just need to take a break until this all dies down." He tells me as he lunges like he wants to walk to me again but decides it's better to just stay where he's at.

"Taking a break and breaking up are the same thing Charles!" I shout, turning away from him in frustration. I hear his footsteps a moment later and his arms are around me the next. He pulls me tightly towards him, my back to his front and I squeeze my eyes shut to try to keep my tears at bay but it's no use.

"Mon soleil, please listen to me; we are not over. We just need to cool it for awhile, I'm trying to protect you." He whispers frantically in my ear and I laugh.

"I don't want to cool it Charles, I want to be able to be with you publicly. I don't care what people say about me, it doesn't bother me. If it did we would still be a secret right now. You're not trying to protect me, you're trying to protect yourself."

"I'm trying to protect the both of us!" He shouts.

"Well if us being together hurts your career that much, then maybe we should just break up because this will never go away Charles. There will always be haters no matter what, it's not going to ever end. So if you want an easy relationship with someone who the public adores, then perhaps you should work on things with Charlotte after all." I say angrily and he immediately lets go of me.

"I can't believe you just said that!" He shouts and I turn to face him then, as he paces in anger.

"I'm sorry, that was low of me, but I don't know what you want from me Charles!"

"I want you!"

"But not enough to deal with the backlash...at least not publicly." I say sadly and he closes his eyes in frustration.

"It's only for a few weeks. I promise!" He tells me and I shake my head.

"Don't make promises you don't intend to keep Charles..." I reply as his phone begins to ring in his pocket. He groans in frustration but pulls his phone out and looks at the name before answering in Italian. He argues with whoever he's talking to and eventually hangs up with phone cursing loudly. I flinch and wonder what was being said that made him so angry. He turns his gaze back to mine and I know instantly it was a phone call about me.

"I have to go..." He starts to say but I cut him off before he can finish his sentence, not wanting to hear his bullsh*t excuse.

"Duty calls. I guess we'll talk about this again in a few weeks." I say and he furrows his brow in confusion.

"Why do you look so confused? You said we needed to take a break for a few weeks." I continue.

"That doesn't mean we can't talk though." He tells me.

"Okay well then I guess we'll talk later." I say as I turn to walk to the door.

He follows me, and when I open the door for him he stares at me like he wants to kiss me, but I'm not doing that. He wants this break so he's getting it. I'm not the one who wants this but I'll do what he wants. He sighs deeply and then walks out of my apartment. He turns to face me once more, looking sad and that makes angry. How dare he look upset when this is his idea.

"Just for the record, I don't agree with this choice...and I don't want this break." I tell him, and before he can respond I close the door in his face, locking it behind me.

That's when I immediately break down, and let the tears that have been wanting to fall freely, fall. I know deep down that this relationship is over, even though I desperately want it to work out. I love him, I'm in love with him. But unfortunately it doesn't seem to be mutual, otherwise this break wouldn't be happening. He would say f*ck the media, and f*ck the people who are writing these horrible articles about me. So I cry, and then I cry some more and then I cry even more.

A few minutes later, I hear my phone ding with a notification. When I find my phone to check it, I see it's an email from my faculty advisor who is in charge of the department I work under. I quickly open it since it has the word URGENT in the subject line. My stomach drops when I read what the email entails. I'm requested to come to a meeting tomorrow afternoon with the department head and dean of academics, as well as the head of Human Resources for the university. Based on who is attending, I'm most likely not going to have a job by the end of tomorrow. This makes me cry even more because if I don't have a job here, I'll have to go back to the United States since I'll lose my work visa.

I don't get much sleep that night. From alternating thinking about Charles and the possibility of having to find another job under short notice otherwise I'll be deported keeps my mind busy and active. By the time I'm getting ready for my meeting I'm dead on me feet and dreading what's about to happen.

It's only a short time later when I'm knocking on the door of the deans office. When I walk into the room, I come face to face with three men who don't even smile at me entering, they just sit there with judgement clear on their faces. I take my seat across from them and prepare myself for whatever they are about to tell me. There will be no crying, I've promised myself that they will not see my tears, that I'll save them for at home.

"Ms. Kincaid, I assume you know why we've asked you here today." The dean, Mr. Ricci asks me.

"I have a slight idea Mr. Ricci, but I would like to know for sure why I've been asked here." I reply politely.

"It's come to our attention that you have started a relationship with a very prominent public figure." He continues and I nod indicating that it's true. Although at the moment is it true? My guess is it doesn't matter to the three men sitting in front of me.

"Due to the celebrity of this individual we believe that it would be in your best interest to resign at your position in the American Studies department here. We feel that it would be a distraction for our students and colleagues if you remained here. There's also a safety factor. We would not be able to provide you the security that you may need in order to feel safe here on campus. So we think for all parties involved it would be best if you no longer worked here." He tells me and my stomach drops. Everything he says sounds like good reason to resign but deep down I know the real reason. They don't want me reputation to tarnish their school. Keeping my head held high, I respond.

"If that is what you think is best for all parties involved, then I will resign. It was an amazing experience to teach here even if it was for a short time. Thank you for giving me the opportunity, you don't know how important it was for me; and how sad I am to be leaving. I've loved every second of working here. I do have next semesters lesson plans prepared if you would need those, I can email them over to you Mr. Barone. Just let me know. And if you need any help transitioning another professor to this course I can of course help with that as well." I tell them, as I take a deep accepting breath. There's no point in arguing with them. After today my focus will be trying to find a job so I can stay here.

"That won't be necessary Ms. Kincaid, we are dropping the course you taught but thank you. That is everything we needed. Mr. Bianco will now go over your severance package with you and have you sign some paperwork. Thank you for your time here, we wish you the best." The dean tells me and I smile slightly and nod as the human resource manager starts going over the paperwork with me.

It's only a few minutes later that I'm walking out with a severance check, and a copy of the resignation letter and non disclosure agreement that I signed. Surprisingly there are no tears, only anger in my eyes as I walk to my car so I can head back to my apartment that I am going to not be able to afford for much longer based on the minuscule severance they gave me. It seems like my life is falling apart and I don't know what I did to deserve it. So what I had sex one time and got pregnant, decided to keep the baby and get disowned, then proceed to raise and take care that child. To me that doesn't seem like a cardinal offense so what did I do?

When I get to my car, I decide it's time to call Kelly. I need someone to know what's happened in the last 48 hours. I need her to help me set a plan in motion before I tell Ezra because I don't want him to think I'm abandoning him.

"Hey Lyd! Do you want to hang out today?" She asks when she answers and I completely forgot I didn't even tell her I'm back in Italy.

"I wish, but no. I'm back in Italy and everything is falling apart." I choke out a sob that I didn't realize was coming and she immediately stops what she's doing. I can tell because it suddenly gets quiet.

"What do you mean?" She asks, worry in her voice.

"Charles broke up with me last night and I got fired this afternoon." I tell her with a laugh, even though tears are running down my face.

"Wait, what?! Charles did what?! You got what?!" She shouts and stutters.

I then proceed to start from the beginning and tell her everything that's happened since dinner with Charles' mother up until now. By the time I'm finished telling her everything she's speechless and I don't blame her. My life could be a reality tv show right now with all this drama. She eventually starts talking, but in Portuguese so I don't understand a word.

"Kell, I don't know what you're saying." I interrupt with laugh and she stops.

"I'm sorry. When I get angry I speak in Portuguese. First off, what the f*ck is Charles thinking?! And I can't believe Pascale said those things! Second, let me and Max reach out to some people about a job. I will not let you leave here without a fight. That's our main priority babe, finding you a job because Ezra needs his Mama. Forget about Charles for now, he's not important." She tells me and I instantly feel better. That's exactly what I wanted to hear and I am so relieved that she is willing to help me. I'm used to people abandoning me when I need them the most and knowing Kelly won't do that makes my heart happy.

"I love you Kelly. I don't think you realize how thankful I am to have met you. Both you and Max have become my family and I hope you both know that I adore you guys and would do anything for you." I tell her with tears falling down my face. This time happy ones for a change.

"Stop! You're making me cry. Let me go fill in Max on the situation and call some people about possible jobs. I'll keep you posted. For now just try to go relax. Take today to just process everything and come tomorrow you can start your own job search if I don't find anything before then." She tells me and I thank her for everything before hanging up the phone and starting my car to head back to my apartment. On the drive back I debate calling Charles to fill him in. He deserves to know that I may have to leave the country. By the time I walk inside my apartment I decide I'll send him a text asking if we can talk and see what he says.

Me: Hi, do you think we can talk for a minute?

Charles: I'm about to start training on the simulator. I'll call you tonight?

Me: Sure.

I'm surprised he replied so quickly and even more surprised that he agreed to call me. We will see if he actually does call though, something tells me he won't. For the rest of the afternoon and evening I lounge in bed, watching Yellowstone. I stay up until midnight even though I'm dead tired, waiting for Charles to call. He doesn't. I go to bed sad and angry with myself for being hopeful that Charles would even call in the first place.

Chapter 26: I Burned LA Down

Chapter Text

Five days have passed since I lost my job. It's also been five days of not hearing a peep from Charles even after sending him multiple texts. He actually hasn't even responded since that initial text telling me he'll call me. If that's not telling me he's over it, then what is? I start giving up even trying to tell him I'm potentially leaving the country. Kelly is telling me to try harder to get ahold of him, but why should I? Why should I put in so much energy when he's not? Besides I'm starting to think he wouldn't even notice if I was gone, nor care for that matter.

Kelly threatens that Max will tell him if I don't, but he already texted me saying he wouldn't be the one to tell Charles. Lando also knows everything that went down as well, and he also offered to help look for a job for me. I don't know how I got lucky enough to find these people, I guess that's one good thing about this whole situation with Charles. He introduced me to some amazing people, and I thought he was included in that, but now I'm not so sure.

It's Thursday, the week of the Netherlands Grand Prix and it's Max's home race. He invited me to go but I declined, not wanting to cause drama on his big weekend. I'm currently watching the media interviews the drivers are doing. Max, Charles, Carlos, Lando and Pierre are all in one group which is kind of crazy honestly. It's been entertaining even though I've mainly just been staring at Charles. He looks the same, good, not even remotely sad or heartbroken. It makes me irrationally angry.

"Charles, can you tell us anything about your relationship with Lydia Kincaid?" A journalist asks and I freeze as I sit and wait for him to answer. He fidgets with his bracelet he's wearing around one of his fingers as he looks down at the microphone.

"I'm not sure what you want to know." He laughs awkwardly before continuing.

"I'm mentoring her son, Ezra in his soon to be transition into Formula 3, along with being one of his sponsors through my maman and papas non-profit. Uhh, and she's a wonderful mother and I enjoy spending time with her and her son." He finishes and I can't believe he basically just said that all I am is Ezra's mom, not his girlfriend. Based on Max and Lando's faces they are just as angry and shocked as I am. Charles smiles as he lowers the mic, like he didn't just break my heart.

"So there's nothing romantic going on between the two of you?" The reporter hedges for more information. Charles sighs and brings the mic up again to speak.

"No." He replies and I turn off the tv, not wanting to hear or see anymore. It's at that moment that I decide he doesn't deserve to know if I might have to leave to go back home to the United States. I'm distracted by my thoughts when my phone rings next to me. I don't look at the name as I answer the phone.

"What the f*ck is going on Mama?!" Ezra says when the call connects. I cringe because I didn't want to tell Ez the truth about everything yet but I should have known he'd be watching.

"I told you Ez, they were classic PR statements. He was trained to respond that way!!" I hear Arthur shout in the background and I hear Ezra tell him to shut up before I'm assuming walking to another room because it gets quieter.

"Mama, what's going on? Why is Charles saying those things? I don't understand what he's talking about with the sponsorship?" He asks again, this time sounding so completely sad.

"There's a lot baby. I was waiting to tell you because I wanted to have a plan in motion so you wouldn't freak out." I say and it was the wrong thing to say because he starts freaking out asking what I'm talking about.

"Breathe baby. I guess I should start from the beginning and how I found out about the sponsorship." I say and then I proceed to tell him everything up until this point. By the end of it, it's silent on his side of the phone but then I hear him sniffling and I realize he's crying.

"Baby, please don't cry. Everything will work out how it's meant to." I tell him, trying to reassure him.

"You're going to have to leave me. Right after I got you back. It's not fair, Mama!" He cries and tears fall from my eyes as his words break my heart.

"I promise you Ez that I will do everything in my power to stay here for you. Kelly, Max and Lando are all helping me find something, it will work out. I promise." I tell him. I don't usually promise, but I need him to know how serious I am about this, about not letting him down.

"Okay Mama, I believe you. And even if you do have to go back home, I'll understand why you would have to." He tells me and I'm relieved to hear him say that. So far, we haven't had any luck with finding long term positions that pay well and I'm worried I'll end up having to go back home.

"Please don't tell Arthur about me losing my job Ez. I haven't been able to tell Charles yet because he hasn't been answering my texts or calls. I don't want him to find out from anyone else."

"I won't. They don't deserve to know at this point." He tells me and I can't help but agree.

"Even if Arthur is right and he was trained to say those things that he just did, I can't believe he ever agreed to it! Basically denying you two are actually together, it's completely messed up!" He continues and I can't help but agree with him again.

"It is messed up. But I guess at this point it's true...we aren't together." I say sadly and Ez remains silent not knowing what else to say. I move the conversation to his karting race that's coming up next weekend and eventually he has to get off the phone to go train. When I hang up I feel a little better about things now that Ezra knows everything.

It's later that night that I get a phone call from Kelly, telling me about a job as a personal assistant for the new Redbull Head of International Sports. He just got promoted to International and will be moving to Austria come the beginning of the year. He currently still has a personal assistant but she can't move to Austria because she has a boyfriend who can't relocate. He wants her to be able to train the newest assistant and help with the big move. Unfortunately he's currently residing in San Diego so I would have to move back to the states for a few months.

I immediately call his personal assistant and end up talking with her for two hours as she asks me question after question - none of them being about the actual job. By the end of the phone call she offered me the position. I was so shocked but she explained how being a personal assistant can be trained, it's more about personality and compatibility. Apparently I have just the perfect personality for the job. I accept because I don't think I'll be able to find anything better and I know Kelly and Max did a lot to help me get it. Ezra will just have to deal with me being gone for a few months, which I think he will be. Morgan, the current personal assistant lets me know she'll book my flight and help me ship anything I need over if I need to do that. I let her know I'll be able to fit everything I own in two suitcases to which she balks at.

After we get off the phone, my stomach is full of butterflies. I can't believe I'm going back to the states, and California at that. I've never even been to California. I spend the next hour googling San Diego and getting more and more excited. Eventually a get a text from Morgan with flight information. I leave Parma International on Sunday afternoon at 3pm, the same time as the race. That only leaves me with two full days to get everything packed and figured out for me and for Ez. I immediately call him and tell him the news, to which he's surprisingly excited for and he told me to just pack his stuff because he'll move back in with his old host family, he apparently already talked to them about it since he figured it was most likely going to happen.

For the next two days I pack up my life along with Ezra's. While packing I make sure to find all of the items Charles ever bought me and put them in a box so they can be returned to him. All the clothing, shoes, purses, jewelry; so much jewelry. I have to ask my neighbor to help unscrew the Cartier Love bracelet because I couldn't get it myself. It's all neat and tidy in a cardboard box ready to be given to Charles. I know all of those things were gifts but I can't keep them. Hopefully he can sell everything and get some money back.

It's actually quite sad that my whole life can fit in two suitcases but that's just the reality of the situation. I suppose it's good for these across the world moves I seem to be on a mission in doing every six months or so. Hopefully once I'm in Austria, that will be the last major move for awhile. I'm working on listing our furniture on Facebook marketplace when my phone starts ringing.

"Hey Kell! How's Max feeling about tomorrow?" I ask when I answer the phone.

"He is feeling good! How's packing going?" She replies.

"I'm done. Just posting the furniture up on marketplace now, hoping to have everything gone by this evening."

"I can't believe you're leaving me, I'm going to miss you so desperately." She tells me and I smile.

"I'm going to miss you too. You'll have to come out to see me when you head to the United States for the GP's, at least for Vegas." I tell her and she agrees she will definitely come visit me at some point.

"So have you told him you're leaving yet?" She asks after a lull in conversation.

"No. I'm not going to tell him. If he wants to tell the world we aren't together and then ignore me I think that's telling me loud and clear that he does not care about me like he claimed to."

"You need to tell him. Max told me Charles has been insufferable to be around since they've been back from summer break. He's having a hard time and I think he needs to know."

"Ugh fine, I'll try again tomorrow in the morning before I leave." I say with annoyance.

"Thank you." She says with a triumphant sound and I roll my eyes. A few minutes later we are saying goodbye with promises to talk when I land in San Diego. For the rest of the night I sell our furniture and eventually the courier I hired to take the box of things to Charles' arrives and takes the things away in their car to take to Monaco. I don't let myself cry as I cuddle up on the floor with my suitcases. The time for crying is over. It's hard to find sleep, but I eventually do. When I wake up in the morning I feel like crap but that's what happens when you sleep on the floor.

I make myself some breakfast and find myself sitting on the kitchen counter. My eyes find the dried bouquet of dandelions Charles gave me and I have to take a deep breath in order to not cry. Once I finish breakfast, it's around 11:00am. I'm planning on leaving for the airport at noon so if I'm going to call Charles I should probably do it now. Grabbing my phone, I take a deep breath and press call on his name. To my surprise he answers quickly, or should I say someone answers quickly.

"Charles' phone, Charlotte speaking." She says with a giggle and I want to vomit. Charlotte? Answer Charles' phone? What the f*ck. I'm about to hang up when I hear Charles in the background ask something in French to which she replied but I could only catch two words - mon soleil. A moment later there is commotion on the line and then a sigh on the other end.

"Mon soleil. I can't really talk right now, can I call you tonight?" He asks and anger fills my gut.

"Just like you were going to call me back the other night?" I ask sarcastically to which he sighs deeply.

"I told you we were taking a break Lydia. I don't know what you want me to say." He snaps.

"Okay, but you also said we would talk. Which we haven't done. I've sent you countless texts and have called you multiple times - all unanswered until Charlotte answers this call for you! You told me she wasn't going to be in the paddock anymore!" I snap right back and I can hear him groan in frustration.

"I don't need this right now, I need to focus on my race. My team is relying on me to do well." He tells me and I realize in this moment he really doesn't deserve to know I'm leaving. His priority is racing, as it should be. So instead of telling him that, I tell him something different. Something that I'll probably regret telling him, but I feel is necessary before I go.

"Look I didn't call to argue. I just wanted to wish you luck and to tell you that...I love you." I tell him as tears prick my eyes.

"Lydia, I..." He starts to say but I cut him off before he can say anything more.

"Don't. We'll talk after the race. I just wanted you to know before..." I trail off and luckily I hear someone calling for Charles in the background so he can't press me further or say something that will make me even more upset than I already am. I hear him curse into the phone.

"I'll call you tonight, I promise." He says and my eyes squeeze shut trying to keep my tears from falling.

"Goodbye LP." I whisper and hang up the phone.

I take a few minutes to compose myself before sending off a quick text to Kelly telling her I couldn't tell him, and instead ended up telling him I love him. She is annoyed with me but I can't be bothered with it anymore. I tell her to just let him know I left after the race so he knows. She begrudgingly says yes and I tell her I need to get to the airport. I end up getting an Uber to the airport so that Ezra can use my car and just pick it up with his things at the apartment. With one last look at the apartment, I close and lock the door - ending this chapter of my life. It was a short one but it was lovely. Now onto the next one.

When I arrive to the airport, it takes forever to get through bag check and security. By the time I make it to my gate, I only have about an hour to spare before my flight departs. I'm happy I don't have to wait long. As I'm double checking I have everything in my carryon I realize I don't have any headphones because I gave them back to Charles. I glance up and see an apple vending machine with all sort of products in it. Standing up, I walk over to the machine and see they are selling AirPod Max's so I decide to splurge in honor or my new adventure and buy the silver pair.

Thirty minutes later we're starting to board the plane. I'm surprised when I find out my seat is in business class so I get a slightly larger seat with more space. Once I find my seat I find my heartbreak playlist and choose 'I burned LA down' by Noah Cyrus to start off my journey with. As we're taxiing the runway getting ready to take off, I turn on the race that's about to start. I listen as it begins, Max and Charles end up battling at the start since they were P1 and P2. Max ends up winning out and I don't know how I feel in that moment.

For the next hour and half I listen to the race, not being able to work up the courage to actually watch it, knowing that once I see Charles in his car my tears I've been keep at bay will come out. Max ends up winning by one car length to Charles. I'm happy for the both of them, and wish I could have been there to have congratulated them. I can't help but watch the podium awards and champagne celebration. My heart seizes in my chest when I see Charles' smile. For the remainder of the flight I listen to my music and try to sleep, knowing that when I touch down in San Diego I won't be able to relax for awhile.

Eight hours later, I have landed in San Diego. I quickly make my way to baggage claim to get my bags so I can meet Morgan. My phone is roaming here but I decide to turn it off airplane mode and check my messages before getting a new phone. There's the ones I was expecting from Kelly and Ezra which I respond to quickly but I'm surprised to find a lot of messages from Charles, Arthur, and Lando.

Lando: Why didn't you tell me you were leaving so soon?

Lando: When you told me about the job you made it seem like it was a come when you can situation.

Me: Sorry. Kelly, Max and Ez were the only ones who knew I was leaving today. x

Arthur: Call me when you get this.

Arthur: I need to talk to you.

Arthur: Charles is freaking out. Call me!

Charles: Lydia, what does Kelly mean when she said you're gone?

Charles: Where are you?

Charles: Please call or text me back. Let me know you're okay.

Charles: Mon soleil, I'm sorry. I f*cked up yet again. I should have never listened to my team.

Charles: Call me! Please. No matter the time, I'll answer. I promise.

Chapter 27: My Blood

Chapter Text

My heart lurches in my chest as I read through the text messages from Charles. What does he mean he never should have listened to his team? I'm so confused, and I want to call him, because stupidly I miss him. My finger hovers over his name but just as I'm about to press the call button, I get an email notification...from Charles' PR representative.

As I click on it to read it, my blood turns cold and any part of me that wanted to talk to Charles has evaporated. Sitting in my inbox, is a copy of an NDA, the email short and precise. 'Sign this as soon as possible'. I open it, read through it quickly and at the very bottom I see the signature of none other than Charles. Tears threaten to spill over as I stare at my phone screen. He told me time and time again that he would never make me sign an NDA. He told me he trusts me. I guess that's not true anymore.

As I'm standing in the middle of the airport, waiting for my bags to get to me on the conveyor belt, I'm struggling not to break down and sob like I want to. Instead, I digitally sign the NDA, attach it to my email reply and write a debatable catty message 'See attached. Don't worry, I'm no longer your PR nightmare, you can relax now. Please never contact me again. I won't be a problem for you if you're not a problem for me'. With that sent and done with, I pull up the messages from Charles again and before I can think about it, I start typing.

Me: I signed your NDA.

Me: Now leave me alone.

Charles: What NDA?

Charles: I will not leave you alone.

Before I can even finish reading his message, he's calling me. For a moment I debate ignoring the call, but I don't think ignoring him will help, so I answer.

“Lydia, what is going on?!" He says into the phone when I accept the call. I roll my eyes because he can't be serious.

"Don't play stupid Charles. Your PR person just emailed me the NDA that you signed already. I guess now that I'm not waiting around for you to figure out if you want to be with me, I'm no longer trustworthy to you." I snap with anger.

"I never signed an NDA! I never asked for you to sign one! I do want to be with you, mon soleil. Please just give me a chance to explain everything." He pleads, sounding desperate and for a moment I believe him. For a moment I want to hear his explanation. But then reality sets in.

"No, I don't want to hear another one of your explanations. You have your NDA, now please leave me alone. I can't keep doing this with you. I'm done." I say as I quickly wipe away a tear that escaped my eye.

"No! You're not done!" He booms and I flinch slightly by how emotional he sounds.

"Charles, you said it yourself only days ago. I'm just the mother of the boy you're mentoring. There's nothing going on between us. And now you and your team don't need to worry about us getting seen or photographed together ever again. The headache that is Lydia Kincaid is gone, and you can spin the story however you want. Your fans already hate me, so just explain that I was just a lonely, sad, and deluded woman who thought you loved me, make me seem crazy.

"f*ck, I think that may be true anyways, so you won't even be lying." I laugh sardonically as I realize that I truly was deluded. Deluded in thinking we could ever work in the long wrong, deluded for ever thinking a man like him could love a woman like me.

"Mon soleil, no..." He begins to say but I cut him off before he can say whatever he was about to say.

"Unfortunately, that deluded, crazy woman fell in love with you. It was hard not to. Now she has to start over in a brand new place, away from the only person who has never left her." I say sadly as tears fall freely from my eyes now. I'm close to losing control in the middle of the airport, so I remind myself I'll be back with Ezra in only a few months. It will be okay.

"Why do you have to start over? I don't understand why you left Lydia. Even if we don't figure it out, you didn't have to leave." He replies sounding sad and confused.

"I had no choice Charles. Getting forced to resign at the University kind of hindered my plans in staying in Italy. You would have known that if you hadn't spent the last week and a half ignoring me." I snap, because he would have known this if he would have answered any of my calls or texts.

"Look, I understand your career is and will always be the most important and I respect that. But I need respect too. Instead, you've been treating me like I'm not important. That I didn't at least deserve a quick text or phone call response after me contacting you repeatedly throughout the week. You didn't even think to check up on me and if that doesn't just show me what your intentions are I don't know what will. I'm done Charles, it's over. Just think how happy your mother will be." I tell him and then I hang up the phone. A few seconds later it’s ringing in my hand, Charles is calling back. Wiping away the last of the tears, I ignore the call and proceed to turn my phone off.

As I put my phone in my back pocket, I look up and see my bags coming towards me. I grab them quickly and turn around to the pickup area because I need to order an uber to take me to meet my new boss. As I make my way over to the area though, I see a beautiful blond woman probably in her early 20's holding up a sign with my name on it. I head in her direction and before I can say anything to her she rushes over to me and wraps her arms around me in excitement and squeezes me tightly. My heart seizes in my chest as she hugs me, and my emotions crumble because I didn't realize how desperately I needed a hug until right now.

"Oh my god, you are more gorgeous in person! I'm Morgan by the way. Woah, are you okay?" She asks once she realizes I'm crying, and she pulls away from me so she can look at my face. I wipe at my eyes and apologize to her, feeling embarrassed by my breakdown. She doesn't waiver though, and just pulls me back into her arms letting me fall apart. It takes me a few minutes to calm down and stop the tears, and when I pull away from her I give her a soft smile.

"Thank you. I'm sorry about that, I just had a hard conversation with someone." I tell her as I turn to find my bags behind me. She eyes me curiously as I turn back to her, and she takes one of the suitcases from my hand and starts walking towards the doors to leave the airport.

"Let's get to the car and then you can maybe tell me about it if you want while we head to Jeremy's house. I'll text him to have some margaritas ready for us." She says with a bright smile and all I can do is nod as I stare at her. It's hard not to stare, she's breathtaking. She has blonde hair that is straight, long, and luscious. Here eyes are two different colors, one hazel and one a bluish green color. But it's not her looks that are special, but the vibe that she gives off. There's just something about her that makes you want to gravitate to her. She kind of reminds me of Blake Lively a little bit.

When we get to the car, I can't help but smile. We're standing in front of a beautiful matte black Mercedes G-Wagon. I've always been a huge fan of these cars; I think they are so stylish and remind me a bit of an old Bronco which is one of my dream cars. Now that I see this one in real life though, it's quickly becoming another one of my dream cars, it's so gorgeous. I turn to Morgan as she watches me with her head co*cked to the side.

"I'm in love with your car." I tell her and she just laughs at me as she pops open the trunk so we can put my bags in.

"It's not mine, it's Jeremy's. If you like this one, just wait until you see the rest of his collection." She tells me and my eyes bug out. Collection? My mind wanders, wondering what other cars he might have that I'll be no doubt be lusting after. We climb into the car once my bags are in the back and she's pulling out of the parking spot and leaving the parking structure before turning to me and giving me a look like she's ready to hear why I broke down in her arms.

I'm not sure why, I guess I can chalk it up to me instantly feeling like I can trust her, but I tell her everything that's happened over the last two months with Charles. Of course, I don't tell her who he is because I don't want to break my NDA. I just tell her that I can't tell her who he is due to him being a public figure. She nodded her head in understanding and didn't ask any questions to try to figure out who he is or what he does to be a public figure. She doesn't say a word as she listens to me vent. When I'm done I turn to face her, trying to get a read on what she's thinking about my crazy life.

"So, wait. You have a 15-year-old son? How old are you? I could have sworn we were the same age!" She says with wide eyes, and I laugh as I ask her how old she is which she replies 24, but she'll be 25 in a few weeks.

"I turned 30 in February. I got pregnant with Ez when I was only 14." I tell her which leads me to tell her my whole life story. By the time we make it to Jeremy's house she knows everything about me, but I know nothing about her or my boss. She parks the car in a small alley-like driveway, and I look up to see what looks to be a relatively modest house. It's white with black trim and two stories.

"Wow girl. You have lived quite the life so far. I'm still trying to process everything you've just told me!" She says, as she starts collecting her purse from the back seat and opening the car door. I climb out after her and go to the back of the car to grab my bags but Morgan yells at me to follow her, that Jeremy will come get them. I furrow my brows but follow her into the house.

What I thought was a modest house turns out to be a mini mansion. When I get the first look at the interior of the house my jaw drops. It's beautiful and modern but homey and comforting at the same time. Morgan kicks off her shoes at the door, so I do the same before following her into the kitchen where I see a man making margaritas as a woman across from him tells him he's doing it wrong.

"You just turned 21, you don't know anything about making drinks." The man says just as Morgan clears her throat indicating that we have arrived. He turns to face us and smiles brightly at me as he sets down the tequila he was holding and makes his way over to me.

"Lydia, welcome to San Diego! I'm excited you're here. I'm Jeremy if you didn't pick up on that." He laughs as he stares down at me like I'm confused. It's probably because I'm staring at him like there's no way this is my new boss. He looks younger than me and not at all what I was expecting.

"Sorry, I just didn't realize you were so...young." I reply causing Morgan and the other woman to laugh hysterically while he smiles smugly down at me.

"See, I'm young! Lydia says so. So, you two can stop making old man jokes now." He says as he turns to face the other two women. My eyes move between them all as they laugh together. I can't help but laugh with them, it's infectious.

"You are old! 40 is ancient." The young woman says as she stands up and makes her way towards us. He grabs her and gives her a noogie, causing them both to laugh. I just stand there staring at them, wondering what the connection is between them and pondering how this man is 40? There's no way.

"I'm only 38 squirt. Don't make your old man older than he is." He says with a laugh, and I do a double take. Old man? Like as in her father? That means he was only 17 or 18 when she was born. Or is old man some kind of new lingo to mean boyfriend? I get my answer a moment later.

"Dad, you're messing up my hair. Stop, I want to introduce myself to Lydia. Maybe she'll be my new step mommy unlike that one." She says as she hooks her thumb to where Morgan is standing at the countertop sipping on the margarita Jeremy abandoned. Jeremy looks embarrassed as he turns to face me, staring down at his daughter like he wants to murder her. I can't help but laugh because wow kids are all the same. Didn't Ezra just say something like that to Charles not so long ago?

"Hi, I'm Bianca, this guys daughter and biggest headache. I'm excited to meet you, you are beautiful. How old are you? Are you single?" She asks as she holds out her hand for me to shake, to which I do.

"Hi Bianca, I'm Lydia. You are beautiful as well. I'm 30 and yes, newly single." I tell her even though it takes everything in me to keep the smile on my face as I say the last two words. She probably is thinking I'm crazy based on how much I'm blinking too but that is so I don't cry again.

"Excuse her. She's gets easily excitable. Bianca, leave Lydia alone for right now. I'm going to go show her where she'll be staying. You'll have more time to get to know her after she's rested from her travels." Jeremy says, and I can tell he can sense my pending break down. Whether that's from raising a daughter or what, I'll never know but I'm thankful. He starts to lead me away from the kitchen and towards the stares leading upstairs.

"I'm sorry about her, she likes me embarrass me whenever she can." He says as we make our way up the stairs and I smile.

"It's okay, my son is the same way, so I totally get it." I tell him and he turns to look at me with furrowed brows. I guess Max and Kelly didn't tell him much about me besides that I needed a job that would get me back in Europe.

"Max didn't mention you had a son. How old is he?" Jeremy asks as he leads me to one of the spare bedrooms in his house. It's a large room, with an ensuite but the view is what stops me in my tracks. It over looks his backyard where there's an infinity pool overlooking what I'm assuming is the Pacific Ocean. It's dark out so I can't quite make out everything. I'm still staring when Jeremy clears his throat and I turn back to face him apologizing. I then proceed to tell him about Ezra and how I found out I was pregnant at 14, which somehow leads me to telling him everything else that's happened to me up to this point. I'm not sure how these people are getting me to talk so much about my life. There must be something in the San Diego air that is helping me trust these people. I should probably be more careful, but something in my gut tells me I can trust them. Something in my gut also told me I could trust Charles and look how that turned out. I instantly regret telling my secrets to these people I just met, literally minutes ago.

"Wow, I can't believe you were dating Charles Leclerc." He says once I'm done telling him everything and my eyes widen in shock. How does he know that? He notices my reaction and tells me not to worry, that he would never say anything to anyone but I'm not sure I believe him, and if he knows about formula 1 and Charles, that means that Morgan and Bianca probably do too. sh*t.

"Morgan and Bianca don't know anything about Formula 1, so they won't make the connections to Charles like I just did so don't worry about them finding out. Although I'm not sure you'll be able to hide it when there are photos of you two everywhere. If either of them googles your name, he's going to come up." He tells me and I flop down on the bed, putting my head in my hands. I know he's right, and I'm sure my Instagram has blown up since my name was released. I haven't checked it since Monaco because I didn't want to read the comments people were posting about me.

"I just signed an NDA today for Charles. I really can't have anyone saying I said anything, or I'll get into huge trouble." I say slightly panicked as I realize how stupid I was. Jeremy comes to sit down next to me and wraps an arm around me pulling me against him.

"Don't worry, none of us will say anything to anyone. You can trust us, I promise. Morgan and I as well as you all must sign NDA's due to working for Redbull so this will fall under that. Bianca will keep her mouth shut because she'll want to protect you." He tells me, trying to calm me down. I relax when he mentions the NDA's for us.

"Protect me? She doesn't even know me. Why would she protect me?" I ask, honestly so confused.

"You're apart of the family now Lydia. Not to mention when she hears that story you just told me she's going to want to kill Charles." He chuckles and I can't help but smile as my heart warms in my chest at the thought of having family here. I'm missing my new family across the pond so it's nice to potentially have one here as well.

Chapter 28: As The World Caves In

Chapter Text

Jeremy left me in my room to gather my bags for me and when he comes back he invites me down to the beach with them for a bonfire, which I decline, opting for sleep instead. He leaves me to myself and I take a deep breath as I take in my surroundings and let my emotions come out. Tears silently begin falling from my eyes as I think about the phone call I had with Charles. Did he truly not know about the NDA? Does he actually want to be with me? If that's true then what was the last two weeks about? I'm so confused and I'm not sure what to do. Pulling out my cell phone that I turned off after my phone call with Charles, I turn it back on. Jeremy gave me the Wi-Fi password so I quickly put that in and pull up my messages with Kelly.

Me: I made it. Jeremy is amazing so far. Thank you and Max so much for your help in getting me the job.

Kelly: Anything for you. How is everything else? Have you heard from him?

Kelly: He wasn't very happy with Max and I when we told him you were gone.

Me: His team sent me an NDA.

Kelly: WHAT? Didn't he tell you that you would never have to sign one?

Me: Yes. He claims he didn't know about it, but it was signed by him...

Kelly: I mean they could just have a stack prepared with his signature?

Me: I guess so. Idk he said he wants to be with me. But how am I supposed to believe that after everything recently?

Kelly: Maybe it's his team forcing his hand.

Me: Why are you on his side all of the sudden? What do you know?

Kelly: I don't know anything and I'm not on his side. I'm on yours. I just want you happy.

Kelly: He makes you happy when you two are good.

Kelly: If this is all just his teams doing, maybe you two can work through it and be happy again.

Me: If it's his teams doing, then it's never going to work between us.

Me: I don't want to be with someone who is easily manipulated by those around him.

Me: I understand his career is important, but aren't I important too?

Me: I should be if he claims he wants to be with me.

Kelly: You should be. Racing won't last forever.

Me: Well it doesn't matter now. We're done.

Me: I just wanted to let you know I made it to Jeremy's house and to thank you. I'm going to bed now. Talk later.

Kelly: Talk later. Love you!

I end up falling asleep shortly after that and don't wake up for 12 hours. When I wake up the following day around 10:30am, I'm thoroughly confused. I didn't realize I had slept for so long, but it's kind of good I did because my jet lag will hopefully be non-existent now. My body is sore when I climb out of the bed. Groaning I head into my en-suite bathroom and do my business. I splash some water on my face too to help me wake up and then head back out to get dressed. I'm immediately entranced by the sight in front of me. Last night I thought it was beautiful, but I couldn't really see much. But now I can see for miles, and holy cow is it beautiful. The sun is shining bright and the ocean and sky look so blue.

My phone chiming on my bedside table shakes me from my thoughts and I head to look at the notification. When I unlock my phone I see that I have a mass amount of notifications. Tons from Instagram, and Twitter, multiple text messages from Kelly, Max, Lando, and Charles. I need to figure out my cell phone today because I'm not going to be able to keep using this one without spending a ton of money. I'm about to open the messages from Charles when another notification comes through from twitter.

Here is what we know about Charles Leclerc dissolution with his PR team...

I click on the notification with furrowed brows because I'm confused about what that tweet could possible mean. When it opens completely I see there's a linked news article so I click on that and read a quick article about how Charles cut ties with his long time PR firm. There's a lot of speculation on why, but with NDA's involved no party can comment on it. It just says they agreed to go their separate ways and that is basically it. The article then goes on to list reasons why Charles might have ended his ties with them. The top reason being me and our relationship. My stomach drops as I read the comments under the tweet. So many of them blaming me, saying I demanded that be fire them after what he said about us in the media panel.

If they only knew that I was no long in their precious boys life anymore, they would have to bite their tongues. Although probably not, they would still find a reason to hate me. I decide to check the messages from Charles now that I know he seems to have either dropped his team or they dropped him.

Charles: Mon soleil, the NDA between us is void.

Charles: I fired my PR team.

Charles: Call me when you can, I want to explain everything.

Me: What is there you need to explain?

Charles: Everything that's happened since we got back from Monaco. Please, just hear me out and then if you still don't want to talk to me, I'll stop.

Charles: I promise.

Me: What did I say about making promises you can't keep?

Me: I'll call you in a few minutes, just let me get dressed first.

A few minutes later, after I throw on the one bathing suit I have along with my oversized Carlos Sainz tee shirt I press call on Charles' contact information. It rings once before he answers the call.

"Lydia, thank you." He rushes out as he answers the call. He sounds so relieved and I have to take a deep calming breath as I hear him speak. I miss him.

"Let's just get this over with." I respond, trying to not get sucked in by him. He sighs but begins to talk.

"When the story about you and Ezra broke out, my team freaked out because they were worried my reputation would be tarnished by you and your past. They convinced me that it was best for you that we take a breather and not be seen together. Which then led to them saying we shouldn't talk. I don't know how they did it but they made sure that I never saw all your messages and phone calls from you on my phone. They kept me so busy that I couldn't even tell you what day it was and my phone was also always conveniently missing when I had a down moment where I could even think about texting you." He tells me and I sit there seething. How could his team do that to him? And if they actually did, then how?

"What happened with the media conference? Why did you say those things?" I ask quietly.

"They told me it was the only way to keep you safe from the negative comments. That if the fans knew you were only Ezra's mom then they would back off. I thought I was protecting you."

"You're a f*cking idiot." I whisper, shaking my head back and forth in annoyance. How could he be so gullible and blind!

"I know that! At least I know that now. I should have never listened to them, should have never trusted them."

"Why was Charlotte in the paddock? And why did she answer your phone?" I ask needed to know.

"The PR team arranged it. They confessed to it after I called them about the NDA. They said they were just trying to get the fans back on our side, that they love the idea of Charlotte and I back together. They said that seeing her in the paddock would cause the story to shift away from you and onto her. Charlotte didn't know the real reason why she was invited but she agreed to attend. When she arrived they asked her if she could pass along my phone that they had apparently found in the car I arrived in. When it rang she instinctively answered for some reason." He tells me and I want to puke. Everyone was literally working against us. Even him. He just didn't know it.

"Okay." I say.

"Okay? What does that mean?" He asks.

"Okay, thanks for telling me."

"That's it? That's all you're going to say?"

"I don't know what you want me to say Charles. You decided to listen to your team without once thinking of asking me what I thought. You claim to be trying to protect me but who said I needed protecting? Seems like the only person I needed protection from was you; the person who decided to break my heart. I truly think the person you were trying to protect was yourself and your reputation. I mean racing means more to you than anything else, especially me. So just own up to it and deal with it. Okay? Okay." I say with annoyance about this whole situation.

"What if you broke my heart by leaving?!" He shouts and I narrow my eyes.

"First of all, I had no choice but to leave. Second, I didn't break your heart." I reply.

"Lydia, I lo..." He says and I cut him off in frustration and sadness and anger. How dare he try to say that to me right now. After all of this.

"No. Don't you dare say what I think you were about to!" I shout.

"Mon soleil, please." He begs and my heart hurts so much.

"Charles, you're just upset because I left and you think you're trying to tell me what you think I want to hear. But it's not true, there's no way it can be. You're not in love with me. You don't love me. Actions speak louder than words and your actions as of late have shown me enough of how you feel about me." I whisper, my voice cracking as I talk. Tears fall from my eyes and I scold myself for crying. I told myself I would be done crying but here we are again.

"No. I've been wanting to tell you since we were in Sardinia but it was never the right moment." My eyes squeeze shut as I think about our time in Sardinia and how magical it was.

"I want to believe you actually do Charles, but I don't. Ever since we got back from Monaco you've been a different person, someone I don't know nor like. Honestly it feels like our relationship has been doomed from the start. It's been one thing after another pulling us apart. Maybe that's the universe telling us we don't belong together. And as much as I love you, it's probably best to just go our separate ways." I tell him, as an uncontrollable sob releases from me.

"Please don't do this...Mon soleil, please. Let me prove it to you. Let me show you how much you mean to me." He tells me and I don't know what to do. On one hand, I want him to show me. On the other hand, does it really matter anymore? I'm in California, he's going to be traveling the world working. What kind of a relationship can we even have?

"Charles, I can't keep doing this with you. Look, we tried but it just seems like we aren't a good match. You're still young and figuring things out, and that's fine. But I know what I want, and what I deserve. Being with you over the summer was the happiest I've ever been...you made me so happy and I thought I made you happy too. But now, I'm not sure how we could ever get back to that point."

"Lydia, are you listening to me? Let me prove how much I want to be with you!" He shouts in anger and tears fall even harder down my cheeks.

"I can't. I won't put myself out there just to get hurt by you again." I whisper as I shake my head back and forth. Charles doesn't say anything for a few moments and I swear I can hear him sniffling in my ear, but there's no way.

"I'm not going to give up on you, on us mon soleil. But I'll leave you alone for now. I'll give you time to think. Just know I'm here. If you want to talk, need anything, I'm here. I promise." He tells me and my heart clenches in my chest, wanting his words to be true.

"Bye Charles." I whisper as I hang up the phone. Tears are still falling down my cheeks and I wipe them away hastily as I take a deep breath trying to reign in my emotions. After a few breaths, I stand and head downstairs to find Jeremy.

I end up finding him laying in a lounge chair by the pool. As I approach he lowers his sunglasses so he can look at me over the lenses. He had a huge smile on his face until he sees my red eyes, and nose. Then he's standing so quickly and pulling me into his arms. I'm shocked at his reaction but accept his hug and nestle a little bit further into his arms. I don't know what it is, but I instantly feel like I can trust him, that I can show my emotions and true self to him with no judgements. Maybe it's the fact he's a teen parent like me, or maybe our souls just call to one another.

"Charles?" He whispers after a moment, and I silently nod. He pulls away so he can look at me.

"I'm sorry, you must think I'm such a mess. I promise this will be the last time you see me like this." I tell him, and he rolls his eyes.

"Don't ever apologize for your feelings. You've been through a lot lately and it's understandable to be upset. What happened?" He asks and I take a deep breath before telling him all about how Charles fired his PR team, how our NDA is void, how he told me he loves me, how he wants to prove it to me, and how he said he won't be giving up. By the time I'm done telling him about our conversation I have more tears in my eyes, but I'm doing a good job managing them and not letting them fall down my face.

"Damn! I don't know many women who would say no to Charles Leclerc. You're like super woman!" He laughs and I frown.

"It's only because I'm 6,000 miles away from him. If he was telling me those things in person, I probably would have melted and given him another chance. He seems to be my kryptonite."

Jeremy smiles at me sadly, and we continue our conversation. He asks me question after question about Charles and our relationship so far, trying to get a feeling for it. By the time he's done asking me questions, he is staring at me like I'm crazy.

"Why are you staring at me like that?" I ask with furrowed brows.

"How am I looking at you?"

"Like you think I'm being crazy!"

"Are you sure you're not projecting or imagining what you want to?" He asks with a laugh which makes me narrow my eyes at him.

"Okay, okay...fine. I just think that you might be too close to this. If you just heard everything I just did, as an outside party who knows neither of you...you might think you were crazy too. That boy loves you. He may be sh*tty as showing you, especially as of late, but he loves you. He's stupid, but he's loves you." Jeremy says with a wide grin and I roll my eyes.

"Doubtful. And even if he does, it doesn't matter. He clearly doesn't want the reputation that comes along with dating me. Otherwise he wouldn't have let his team manipulate him like they did. It's better this way. He gets his career, without me tainting his reputation by being a teen mom even though it happened 16 years ago."

"Yeah...but what do you get?" Jeremy counters.

"I get to watch my sons dreams come true because of Charles."

"No. Not because of Charles, because of you. You got Ezra to where he is now, not Charles. Not your parents. Just you."

"I wouldn't have been able to do it without the sponsorships." I say shaking my head.

"You would have figured out a way even without the sponsors. Don't diminish your grit and determination to make all of your sons' dreams come true. You're the reason he has what he has." He tells me with so much seriousness that I'm overwhelmed by his kind words. It takes me a moment to find my voice.

"Are you turning into my therapist Jer? How much do I owe you?" I joke and he groans in annoyance with me. I'm sure he wanted me to acknowledge what he was saying but I can't. I don't deserve the praise.

"It's on the house. You're keeping me entertained with your crazy life. Things have been slow here, so I appreciate the drama you're now providing. I'm sure there will be a boat load more coming soon enough." He laughs and I unfortunately think he's right.

For the next two hours, Jeremy and I lounge by the pool and discuss my job and what we'll be focusing on over the next few months. My main focus is making sure our move to Austria goes smoothly, getting all of the logistics of moving together, finding us housing, cars, etc. Meanwhile, I have to also maintain his current schedule of meetings, and events. He tells me our first event is actually this weekend. We've been invited to Paris Supercross and we're leaving in two days. I complain that I could have just met them there instead of flying out to San Diego first but he told me he didn't get the notice until yesterday that we were going.

I'm excited to be going back to Paris, but also feel weird about it. I try to push the feelings away as we continue our talk, and discuss my pay, benefits, and other things pertaining to my position. I balk at the salary, and am completely shocked that Jeremy has opted to cover my room and board for free while we're in San Diego. I also get a company phone, tablet, smart watch and computer as well as health care, retirement and yearly raises on top of any other raises Red Bull agrees to. I'm completely giddy as I head back up to my room with my new things so I can get them all set up. It's time to get to work.

Chapter 29: Softcore

Chapter Text

I spend the rest of the early afternoon setting up my work things and texting Kelly and Ezra. I let them both know that I'm going to be in Paris this weekend. Unfortunately Ezra can't meet me, he has some team thing he has to go do, no exceptions. Kelly told me that she will come visit me Friday and Saturday but will need to head to Italy first thing Sunday morning for Max's race. I tell her she doesn't have to come to Paris at all, but she insists and I love her dearly for it. She knows how much I need her and I'm so thankful.

After I'm done setting everything up, I head back downstairs to find Jeremy had made us some lunch. We chat and eat together and we're laughing at a particularly hilarious story of Jeremy in his college days when the front door slams open and two voices follow. Morgan and Bianca come into the kitchen arm in arm, looking so beautiful and bohemian. I'm instantly jealous of both of their outfits.

"Good morning! How are you today? Did you get enough sleep?" Morgan immediately asks me as she walks up and gives me a huge hug. Bianca follows suit with a hug once Morgan lets go of me. My heart clenches in my chest, wondering how I was so lucky to meet such wonderful people.

"I slept for like 12 hours straight. I feel great!" I respond with a smile. Jeremy gives me a look over Morgan and Bianca's shoulders, letting me know I'm somewhat lying through my teeth. I'm far from great, but I'm getting there.

"That's great news! That means you'll be able to go out with us tonight!" Bianca shouts and both girls squeal in excitement. Jer and I smile at their excitement even though I'm somewhat nervous to go out with them.

"You three are going to cause so much trouble." Jeremy grumbles and I can't help but laugh at his worry.

"You'll just have to come with us to keep us in line then, old man." I joke with a wink and he narrows his eyes at me while Morgan and Bianca cackle.

"What are your plans for the rest of the day?" Morgan asks me and I shrug.

"We're going to the gym in a few minutes. Then I thought I would take her on a drive around the area and then to old town. Then tonight we'll go wherever you guys want and maybe end the night with a bonfire on the beach here." Jeremy answers and I'm instantly excited. I can't wait to see more of San Diego.

"Awesome, we'll come with you!" Bianca replies with a bright smile.

"Speak for yourself girl, I'm not going to the gym. We already ran 5 miles this morning." Morgan counters and Bianca laughs.

"Fine, how about we meet you at Better Buzz in PB after you guys are done at the gym?" Bianca asks to which Jeremy nods in agreement.

A few minutes later, Jeremy and I excuse ourselves to get ready for the gym. I quickly put on my white sports bra, black sweat pants, as well as a black baseball cap and my converse. I meet Jeremy downstairs and I see he's wearing a similar outfit to mine. A white tee shirt, black sweatpants, black hat, but instead of converse he's wearing vans. It makes me laugh when I realize we match. Jeremy rolls his eyes and tells me to get a move on it as he walks out the front door. I follow him quickly, with my two cell phones in hand. I realize too late that I have both but it's too late now to put my old one away.

I follow Jeremy, thinking he's going to the G-Wagon to drive, but instead I see him head towards a bright red 1976 Mercedes 450SL Cabriolet. It's absolutely beautiful and I am smiling so brightly as Jeremy holds the door open for me. He chuckles as I sit down and my mouth drops open as I take in the interior. I watch as he walks around to the drivers side where he proceeds to take the top down on the convertible and start the car. My smile grows bigger as we take off down the road.

"You have the best cars! I'm so jealous." I tell him as we drive. He smiles wickedly at me and winks which makes me laugh. I wait for the butterflies to come, but they don't. You would think they would be flying with an attractive man winking at me but nope. I surprisingly don't have any of those kinds of feelings towards Jeremy. Yes, he's gorgeous but I'm definitely not sexually attracted to him, which is good. It wouldn't be appropriate for me to have a crush on my boss.

"So you have heard everything there is to know about me. Now it's your turn."

“What do you want to know?" He laughs as he glances towards me.

"Where is Bianca's mom?" I ask, not beating around the bush. I'm very curious.

"Don't know. Don't care. The moment she was able to leave the hospital after having B, she left town and never came back. She never wanted to be a mother. She resented me for making her keep Bianca but I promised her that I would take care of everything, she just needed to get through the pregnancy and labor." He tells me, and my stomach drops. I could never imagine leaving my child, but I guess it's better she left than stick around if she never wanted a child.

"That's...wow. I can't imagine leaving my child." I whisper, trying to work through my feelings and to not completely judge her. She was a teenager after all as well..

"I thought that after seeing Bianca she would change her mind but she took one look at her in her arms, and I could tell...could see it on her face that she didn't want her. It didn't matter though, I wanted Bianca, loved Bianca enough for the both of us. It's better that she left." He continues and I smile softly at him.

"From what I can see, you did an amazing job raising her. Your relationship is beautiful and she's lucky to have you." I tell him as tears prick my eyes. Thinking about father daughter relationships makes me sad because mine was so horrible.

"Thank you, but I would say I'm lucky to have her." He says with a smile, as he pulls into a parking lot and parks. I clear my throat and push away my emotions as I turn to look at him.

"You and me are a lot alike, you know. Can't take compliments, love our kids more than anything else in the world..." I say and he smiles at me.

"Extremely attractive, fall in love with people we probably shouldn't..." he adds to my statement my mouth drops open at the last statement. Who is he in love with?!

"Ummm what? Who are you in love with?!" I shout and he puts his hand over my mouth and looks around the parking for any people. There are none. He narrows his eyes at me and mine widen. There's only one person that I know of who he shouldn't be in love with. I mean I only know like three people here, but I imagine it's who I think it is...and wow. Just wow. WOW. He sighs deeply and removes his hand from my mouth, looking at me like he's expecting me to interrogate him but I am too stunned to ask questions.

"SHUT UP! You're in love with Morgan!" I whisper shout and he groans as he runs a hand through his hair.

"Holy sh*t Jer! Have you told her?!" I ask him and his eyes flash to mine like I've lost my mind.

"Absolutely not. She's practically engaged for f*cks sake." He tells me and I nod, forgetting that she has a boyfriend.

"I forgot. She hasn't mentioned him at all to me." I tell him and he looks at me with intrigue.

"I mean I was talking her ear off yesterday on the drive to your place, but she never mentioned him once. She mentioned you quite a bit though." I tell him with a smile and he rolls his eyes at me as he opens his door and starts climbing out. I quickly follow his lead, following him through the gym doors.

My eyes widen as I take in the gym. It's beautiful and better than any gym I've ever gone to. He approaches the front desk and tells them to add me to his account to which they quickly do. A few minutes later we are walking further into the gym and discussing what we plan on doing. Jeremy rolls his eyes at me when I mention only doing cardio on the stationary bike.

"We'll start with cardio, but then you are doing some weight lifting with me. We need to bulk you up." He tells me as he stares at my arms and legs like they are noodles. I just smile at him brightly still reeling about the fact he's in love with Morgan.

We don't talk much as we do a twenty minute bike ride, too focused on our breathing. It's not until we are at the squat rack that I start asking him questions about Morgan. Like how long he's been in love with her (1 year), what made him fall for her (her love for life), and why he hasn't told her yet.

"Well first off, she's my employee. Secondly, she's been taken the whole time I've known her. Thirdly, she's 13 years younger than me. And lastly, she's my daughters best friend." He says and I frown. Those are all solid reasons and I understand why but I'm worried for him. It's only a few months before he leaves here, leaves Morgan behind. I'm afraid he's going to regret not telling her.

"All valid reasons. But I still think you need to tell her. Especially because you're leaving soon." I tell him as I stand from doing my last squat in my set. He just stares at me like he's contemplating it.

"Nothing good will come from me telling her Lyds." He grumbles as he moves me out of the way of the squat rack so he can add more weight for his turn. I bite my bottom lip as I think over what I want to tell him.

"I think you'll regret not telling her. She might feel the same way about you! Take the risk. You seem to be the type of person who isn't afraid of anything. Why are you afraid of this?" I ask.

"Because I'll get my heart broken again!" He whisper shouts at me, sadness and anger within his eyes and I sigh deeply.

“That's a bullsh*t excuse. Look at me, I've gotten my heart broken by the two people who are supposed to love me unconditionally, Ezra's father, my best friends since childhood, and now Charles but I'm not scared to get my heart broken again. We're resilient in our heartbreak Jer. You and me, nothing can break us." I tell him, taking a step closer to him and digging my finger in his chest.

"You don't know anything about me Lydia." He tells me as he shakes his head.

"The f*ck I don't! I may have only just met you, but I know deep in my soul that we are one in the same. I just know that we're kindred spirts...platonic soul mates. I can feel it in my bones even if you don't believe it yourself." I say and his eyes flash to mine.

"Ugh, you're right. I can feel it too. God, you're aggravating! Let me think about telling her. I still am not convinced it's a good idea." He tells me and I smile smugly as I know I've won. He'll tell her eventually, even if it takes him a little bit of time. We don't talk about Morgan anymore, our topics heading towards work and our trip to Paris. When we are done working out I convince Jeremy to take a photo with me which he reluctantly agrees to, but hides behind me like a weirdo. I laugh as I look at the photo debating on whether or not I want to post it to social media. For now I don't, I just put my phone away as we head to the coffee shop where we're meeting Morgan and Bianca.

Somehow we beat them here even though they were only coming from the house not the gym. Jeremy and I order iced coffees with oat milk and take a seat next to the window and wait for the girls to arrive. I'm pulling up Instagram to possibly make a post when I see the amount of followers I have. I must make a surprised noise because Jeremy looks up from his phone and looks at me perplexed.

"Sorry, I'm just surprised. I somehow have 15,000 Instagram followers..." I trail off as I stare back down at my phone, double checking that I'm reading it right. I am.

I suppose I shouldn't be surprised since my name was released in association with Charles, but why are people following me? I only have one post, and it's from when I was at the Monaco aquarium. Clicking on that post, I see that I have around 100 comments and 5,000 likes. I'm tempted to read the comments, but decide against it knowing they can't be anything good.

"What's your user name?" Jeremy asks with a laugh and I mumble out my username to him. A few moments later I get a notification that he started following me and I follow him back immediately.

"Well I think I know why you have so many.." He trails off and my eyes flash to him in confusion.

"Charles and Max are following you." He tells me and I quickly look back down and click on the list of people who are following me. Sure as sh*t they are following me, as well as Kelly, Lando, Arthur, Carlos and Pierre. I quickly follow them all back, even Charles, which may add fuel to the fire, but at this point they are already following me so whatever.

"What do I do with that many followers?" I ask, perplexed on what I should do in this situation.

Before he can answer, the bells on the door ring and we look over to see Morgan and Bianca walking through the doors. They wave at us as they walk to order and once they get their drinks a few minutes later they sit down with us.

"What have you guys been discussing while waiting for us?" Bianca asks us.

"Lydia is stressing over the new instagram followers she has." Jeremy answers and I narrow my eyes at him. Bianca turns towards me and looks confused.

"I have seemed to have gotten 15,000 followers with only having one post..." I tell her and her eyes bug out of her face, which makes me laugh.

“How is that possible?" She asks and I glance to Jeremy.

"Uhh I guess I have to tell you. I was recently connected to someone who is in the public eye." I say vaguely to which she tilts her head to the side in confusion. Morgan doesn't say anything as I notice her looking at her phone, and a moment later I see her jaw drop. My eyes flash to Jeremy and he just smiles at me like he thinks this is all funny.

"Holy sh*t Lyd. Holy sh*t, holy sh*t. Is this who you were telling me about?" Morgan says and I frantically look back towards her in confusion and nervousness. She rotates her screen towards me and sure enough, it's Charles' profile and my stomach drops. She smiles wickedly at my reaction and brings the phone back towards her to look at the screen. Bianca grabs it from her hands and scrolls for a few moments before she looks up at me.

"Woah, he's...woah." Bianca says and I can't help but agree with her. He is woah.

"What is Formula 1?" She asks a moment later after looking at the screen again and I can't help but laugh.

"How do you not know what Formula 1 is? Has your dad not made you watch Drive to Survive on Netflix with him?" Morgan asks and I narrow my eyes at Jeremy in annoyance. He told me Morgan and Bianca didn't know anything about Formula 1. I guess it was a half truth. He looks at me sheepishly and I notice Morgan staring between the two of us in what seems like possible annoyance. Interesting...

"No, but I guess I'll be watching it now! If all the people in Formula 1 are this hot, I'm in!" Bianca says and I instantly think that she might like Lando.

"Look at Lando Norris' profile." I tell her with a smile and I see Jeremy narrow his eyes at me in my peripherals. I take a sip of my coffee as I wait for her to do what I said. A moment later, her mouth drops open which makes me smile. I'll have to introduce her to Lando soon. They would be very cute together.

"Oh my god. You know him? Is he single?" She asks. I laugh as I hear Jeremy groan but I nod at her, letting her know I do know him and yes he is single. She is giddy when I tell her that the next time I facetime him I'll have to introduce them.

"So I think you need to become an influencer Lydia." Morgan tells me, changing the subject.

"With these followers, and the type of friends you have and the type of job you have will be very popular." She continues and I furrow my brows. An influencer? But I'm 30 and have never done social media ever until recently.

"You're going to have to help me." I tell her and she smiles brightly.

"Don't worry, B and I have your back! Oh this is going to be fun." She replies and I can't help but feel apprehensive at her excitement.

Chapter 30: Golden

Chapter Text

That first day with Jeremy, Morgan and Bianca was just what I needed to get acquainted with both them and San Diego. It turned out to be an amazing day with absolutely amazing people. The girls helped me curate what they called the perfect post for Instagram which caught lots of traction due to the fact that I tagged San Diego as my location and now everyone is now realizing I'm no longer in Europe, no longer near Charles. I've been getting messages non stop from people and I'm avoiding them, because I'm not quite ready to read what they could possibly be saying to me. Charles himself liked it but didn't comment. I did get a text from him though asking who the guy was.

Thinking back on that conversation makes me cringe. I had just posted it, it was around 11:30pm when I did and I was a little tipsy. About twenty minutes after I posted it, I was getting ready for bed when Charles texted me. I quickly do the math and it's around 8:30am in Italy. Furrowing my brows, I opened the text and instantly sobered up.

Charles: Who is the guy, mon soleil?
Me: What guy?
Charles: Don't play dumb, I'm not in the mood.
Charles: The guy in your IG post. Who is he?
Charles: Are you already with someone else?
Me: No, I'm not.
Me: I can't believe you actually just asked me that right now.
Me: He's my new boss.
Charles: Your boss?
Me: Yes...my boss. Not that it's any of your business.
Charles: It is my business.
Charles: When my girl is posting with another man, it's definitely my f*cking business.
Me: I'm not your girl, Charles.
Charles: You need to stop saying that.
Charles: We belong together.
Me: No. We don't.
Charles: Please don't say that mon soleil.
Charles: I'm sorry.
Charles: f*ck, I'm so sorry Lydia.
Charles: I just saw you with him, and I went f*cking crazy.
Charles: I miss you.
Charles: So f*cking much.

I stared at the texts for what felt like hours, but didn't respond. I didn't trusting myself to not confess that I miss him too, desperately. I'm still not sure how I feel about that conversation, and I haven't talked to him since that night. It's now Thursday and I'm sure he's extremely busy getting prepared for Monza this weekend. And I'm extremely busy preparing for our flight to Paris tonight. We're taking a red eye and I still have yet to pack so that's what I'm currently doing.

On top of packing, I'm also doing daily tasks for Jeremy; like making sure he's making all of his meetings, as well as getting fed and properly nourished. He also still needs to pack, which I offered to do for him but he declined. Saying something about not wanting me to touch his underwear, which made me laugh since technically I already do since I've been doing both of our laundry since I've been here. But whatever, one less thing for me to do. I also need to run to Target and the mall to grab a few things before tonight. I'm also periodically checking in on the formula 1 media panels to see if anything interesting happens.

I'm currently sitting in the middle of my bed with my phone in my hands watching a clip of Charles in his media session. A journalist just asked him how he's faring without his PR team ever since their split from one another and what was the reason for the split. My stomach does something funny as I wait for Charles response. I'm not sure why I'm anxious and nervous for him but I am.

"I can't say much, but I will just say that there was a series of events that caused me to lose trust in them. I came to the conclusion that I no longer could work with them and decided to end my relations with them. I'm currently in the process of finding another PR team whose thoughts align with my own." He tells the journalist, who then follows up with another question.

"Are those series of events you're referring to about Lydia Kincaid and why she seems to have fled to the United States?"

My stomach drops when I hear the follow up question and I feel like I need to puke. How are these journalists so ballsy with their questions? And how is Charles going to respond to this? I watch his face to see if I can see any distress, and I don't which surprises me.

"Yes. Among other things." He responds and I can't believe he just admitted that. I'm not sure how that makes me feel and I'm not sure how his fans will appreciate that. I have a feeling I'm going to be bombarded with even more hate very soon. I'm sure a lot of people will be rushing to my page to tell me it's my fault that Charles dropped his PR team and how I'm horrible. I cringe just thinking about it, but maybe I'm wrong and no one will care.

My wishful thinking was for nothing because not even a half hour later, my Instagram is blowing up with comment after comment, message after message. I end up turning my phone off so I stop getting notifications and decide to turn my focus back to packing and getting ready for our trip to Paris. For the next hour I put my sole focus on finishing packing for myself. I realize how little clothing I have that is appropriate for Paris and decide that it's time for me to head to the mall and target. Grabbing my work phone and my purse I head downstairs where I end up finding Morgan, Bianca and Jeremy chatting in the kitchen.

"Hey! We were wondering when you'd make yourself known. You finish packing for our trip?" Morgan asks me with a bright smile when I approach the trio.

"Almost, I realized in my packing how little clothing I have so I'm about to head to the mall to grab a few things." I respond and both her and Bianca brighten up at that.

"Oh my gosh, can we come with you?!" Bianca asks excitedly and I can't help but smile at her enthusiasm. I nod my head, letting them know that I was okay with that and they jump out of their bar stools.

"Daddy...can we take the G Wagon?" Bianca asks Jeremy who rolls his eyes but nods in agreement. We each kiss his cheek as we file outside to where the car is parked. Bianca hands me the keys and I smile gleefully as I climb into the drivers seat and start the car. Bianca climbs into the back seat as Morgan climbs into the passenger seat and we set off towards the mall. Morgan puts on Harry Styles as we drive and all three of us are singing along. I can't help but smile brightly, thinking about how I'm finally getting to experience things that I thought I never would. Something simple like singing along to music in the car with a couple of girlfriends is not something I thought I would ever experience again, and it makes me so happy to be able to.

Twenty minutes later I've just parked and we are heading into the mall. I just explained to the girls that I need to update my wardrobe and that I haven't gotten new clothes in years, besides the ones that Charles bought me. They both stared at me like I was crazy when I told them I returned everything to him before I left. Funny enough, Charles hasn't mentioned how I returned everything and I realize that it's probably because he doesn't know. He hasn't been back to Monaco since we left.

Morgan told me that I need to splurge today since I deserve new things. The first store that she drags us to is Prada and I'm not sure why, but my stomach hurts as I look at the prices of everything. It makes me cringe thinking of spending so much, but the girls convince me to purchase a shoulder bag that I was eyeing and some tennis shoes that I was obsessing over. I've never dropped so much money on something and at first it makes me want to puke but then I realize that I have the money to spend now. I don't have to feel that way anymore.

We spend the rest of the afternoon going to Free People, Madewell, Reformation, Gucci and somehow we end our day in Cartier. The girls dragged me in after I mentioned how the thing I miss the most is my Love bracelet that Charles had bought me. It's so silly, but I had gotten used to wearing it. They spend the next thirty minutes trying to talk me into buying one for myself to forget about the one from Charles. But how could I forget about the one from Charles? Impossible.

In the end, they do talk me into buying one, but one different than the one from Charles. This one is also gold but a thinner band than the original gold one Charles gave me and without the diamonds. When it's secured on my wrist, I can't help but get a little emotional looking down at it. Sadness envelopes me, and I hate that I'm letting my day be affected by something so materialistic. But it makes me miss Charles. The girls notice the change in my mood as we walk back to the car with all of our bags.

"It's okay to miss him, you know." Morgan tells me once we climb back into the car.

"I know." I mumble as I start the car and pull out of the parking spot. I'm now heading in the direction of Target so I can get some basic clothes there like T-shirt's, tank tops, as well as some makeup and travel toiletries.

"Have you talked to him recently?" Bianca asks from the backseat.

"Besides when he demanded I tell him who your dad is, no. I haven't." I answer, trying to keep the sadness out of my voice. The day after that conversation happened, I told the girls everything and they were not surprised that he did that, they told me they expected it and that's why they made me post that photo in the photo dump.

"Well he has a race this weekend, right? In Italy too, so I'm sure he's busy since it's a Ferrari home race." Morgan responds while trying to catch my eye. I silently nod, because it's true. I'm sure he's been extremely busy and it's not like I necessarily want him to constantly be reaching out to me. It's better that he's not because if he was, I feel like I would have forgiven him for everything already and given him another chance. But that's just not possible.

"Let's just stop talking about him and focus on our trip to Paris. I'm excited you'll get to meet Kelly." I tell Morgan who smiles brightly.

"I'm so jealous I'm not going, you guys are going to have so much fun." Bianca pouts in the back seat. She unfortunately can't go with us because she just started a new semester at SDSU and can't miss any classes this early on.

"Next time baby girl." Morgan replies just as I pull into the Target parking lot.

For the next hour we go up and down every aisle at Target since this is my first time back in one in 8 months and it feels like I'm home. I end up spending way too much, and on stuff that I don't necessarily need but wanted. Specifically a kindle.

By the time we're back at Jeremy's, it's quickly approaching the time we need to head to the airport. I quickly take all of my new purchases upstairs and finish packing while Morgan and Jeremy do who knows what downstairs. Bianca had to leave for a date she was going on with some guy in one of her classes so she quickly left once we made it back to Jeremy's with a promise to see us in a few days.

It doesn't take me too long to finish packing and I'm going through my room to make sure I have everything when I realize I need me second phone. I end up finding it under a pile of clothes on my bed and remember that I turned it off earlier. Deciding I should probably turn it back on to see if I got any messages, I realize that I probably shouldn't have turned it off. There are numerous messages from Ezra, Kelly, Max, Lando and Charles. I only read the ones from Ezra and Kelly for now. Both of them wanting to know if I'm okay since they've seen the comments I'm getting on social media and them wondering why I'm not answering them.

I quickly reply to them, letting them know I turned my phone off because I was getting too many messages and didn't want to risk reading them all and getting upset. I immediately feel bad for texting them back right now since it's the middle of the night for them. Not expecting replies, I'm surprised when they both do and I realize that they were probably very worried about me. I feel awful and vow to make sure I have WhatsApp on my work phone so they can reach me there when I don't have my personal phone on or with me.

"Lydia, are you ready? We gotta go!" Jeremy shouts at me from downstairs and I quickly put my phone away in my new Prada purse and roll my carry on suitcase down the stairs.

"Sorry, I had to calm down Ezra and Kelly. They were not happy my phone was off." I reply as I reach Jeremy and Morgan.

"Why was your phone off?" He asks with furrowed brows and I sigh.

"Charles said some stuff on the media panel today that people are blaming me for. I was getting bombarded with comments and messages."

"I saw what he said. Wow, people are f*cking crazy. They're seriously blaming you for him dropping his PR team?" Jeremy asks and I shrug my shoulders.

"Wait...what?" Morgan asks and I sigh again, I really don't want to rehash this but I can't be mad for her wanting to know. Before I can respond though, Jeremy's whipping out his phone and pulling up the video of Charles' interview. I stand their awkwardly as I listen to his words again, wondering again why he dropped his team because of me. It doesn't make sense when he was taking their advice so religiously only a couple of weeks ago.

"Okay, but that's so sweet Lyd! He dropped them because he lost you. This should make you happy! He's trying to show you that he regrets his choices and wants to be with you!" Morgan gushes as she looks up at me from Jeremy's phone. I frown at her words, because I don't think that's at all what's happening. Sure, it guess it could up be part of the reason but I think it's more that he finally realized that they had too much control over him.

"I don't think that's why he fired them." I reply as I pull out my phone from my purse because I felt it vibrate. When I see who it is, I see Charles' name displayed on the screen. Looking up at Jeremy and Morgan I see them staring at me like I'm crazy and I furrow my brows.

"What?" I ask as I ignore my phone and let the call go to voicemail.

"How is she so f*cking blind?" Morgan turns to ask Jeremy who snorts in agreement, just as my phone starts vibrating again. I look down to see it's Charles again and I decide I probably should answer it so he stops calling.

"Charles, why are you awake right now? It's what, 5:30am where you are?" I answer as I look up and see Morgan and Jeremy smirking at me. Turning away from them, I walk into the kitchen as Charles responds.

"You know I wake up early on race weekends. Plus I needed to talk to you...tell you I'm sorry."

"Sorry about what?" I ask with confusion.

"For the comments you're getting on social media. I can't believe that people are going after you over a decision I made. It's absolutely ridiculous."

"Then you probably should have denied that it was because of me that you fired your PR team and used literally any other excuse. With how your fans have been treating me thus far, you should have expected this Charles." I respond a little bit angrily because it's honestly ridiculous how little he thinks in regards to how his fans have been treating me.

"Mon soleil, I didn't think they would lash out on you. I thought they would lash out on me."

"Your fans would never lash out on you. You could murder someone and they would still think you could do no wrong." I murmur in annoyance for how daft he is in thinking they would lash out on him instead of me. It's honestly laughable.

"Ready to go, Lydia? We have to be at the airport in thirty minutes." Jeremy says loudly, right behind me. He startled me as I didn't hear him behind me. I narrow my eyes at him when I hear Charles in my ear.

"Who the f*ck was that and why are you going to the airport?" He growls and I shut my eyes in annoyance. Jeremy did that on purpose and now I have to deal with a jealous Charles. Just great.

"It's Jeremy, my boss. We're heading to Paris for the weekend." I reply and all I'm met with is silence. Pulling my phone away from my ear I check to see if the call dropped but it hasn't.

"Charles?"

"You're going to be in Paris? For how long?" He demands.

"Just until late Sunday evening. We're going to the Red Bull Games tomorrow and Saturday." I ramble, hoping that he won't freak out knowing we're going to be relatively close to one another.

"Can you stay longer? At least one extra day? I'll fly to you right after the race. Spend one night with me. Please? You can leave Monday evening instead. I'll even pay for your flight back to San Diego." He begs and my heart beats faster. I'm so tempted to say yes but I know I shouldn't.

"You'll never be able to get out of your Ferrari obligations in order to even get to Paris on Sunday." I counter as I stare down at the kitchen island, avoiding Jeremy's intense gaze.

"I will let them know today that I need to leave immediately after the race. Please just agree to stay an extra day. I need to see you." He says again and I can envision that he has his puppy dog eyes and I fold.

"Fine." I whisper in agreement and I can practically hear the smile in his voice when he repeatedly tells me thank you.

I hang up not long after that, Jeremy narrowing his eyes on me when I finally look back up at him. He doesn't look happy with me, and I'm not exactly happy with myself either. But how was I going to be able to resist Charles? It's not possible, not when I'm hopelessly in love with you and I think always will be.

Chapter 31: Only Love Can Hurt Like This

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The flight to Paris was surprisingly wonderful. We were in first class seats courtesy of Jeremy and I've never felt such luxury while flying. Well, besides when I flew with Charles. I spent the first part of the flight reading on my kindle. After doing some research, I found a series called The Ravenhood by Kate Stewart that is supposed to be amazing. So far, it's pretty great and I had a hard time putting it down before finally deciding to sleep so I could be well rested for when we landed.

I purposely avoid my phones throughout the whole flight, opting to keep them both turned off so I'm not tempted to read comment after comment about me and Charles. When we land and get into our Uber heading to the hotel, I finally turn the phones on so I can get ahold of Kelly. I had a text from her letting me know she's at the hotel waiting for us and I send her a quick response letting her know we're on our way and we would see her soon. I'm so excited to see her, it's been weeks since I saw her last in Monaco and I've missed her. She and I had gotten so close so quickly that it sucks that we're away from each other. I'm so thankful that she decided to come see me while I'm here.

The moment we make it to the hotel, we head up to our suite that we are all sharing while we're here and I tell Kelly to meet us there. I just set my bag down in my room when there's a knock on the door and I high tail it to open it. Kelly is standing on the other side looking gorgeous as ever and I jump into her arms nearly knocking her over with my excitement. She laughs as she squeezes me tightly.

"I've missed you, I'm so glad you're here!" I gush.

"I've missed you too. I'm so glad I was able to be here. It feels like forever since I've seen you!" She responds, as we pull apart from one another.

I quickly usher her into the suite where Jeremy and Morgan are waiting to be introduced. They laugh at my excitement but I know they are happy to see me smiling. After the introductions are made we get ready for the night. Jeremy informs us that we missed the first day of games so we have a free night to just have fun and explore Paris. We decide to get a late dinner at a cafe nearby and then afterwards we will go to a club.

During dinner though, Kelly and I get the crazy idea of getting matching tattoos. We end up finding a tattoo parlor nearby who takes walk-ins. An hour later we are both sporting a pair of small butterflies on our inner forearms. It's my first tattoo and I absolutely love it and am so happy I got it with Kelly to signify our friendship. We send a photo to Max showing them off and a few moments later he's FaceTiming Kelly. She holds up the phone to our smiling faces and Max immediately starts asking us questions about our night. It's hard to hear him since he seems to be out, which is surprising since Qualifications are tomorrow but who am I to question it.

"Is that Lydia I hear?" Lando says as his face comes into frame and I can't help the huge grin that comes over my face at seeing him.

"Lando! My bestie, I miss you!" I tell him, to which he blushes and tells me he misses me too.

"How are you all tonight? Seems like you're having fun." I continue and Max holds his phone higher to show off the private room they have in some restaurant explaining how they are having a drivers dinner. In the background I see someone who looks like Charles from the back. There's a woman sitting beside him with her arms wrapped around his neck and he's leaning in close to hear something she's saying. My stomach instantly drops and my blood turns to ice. Kelly sees what I'm seeing too.

"Is that Charles?" She asks loudly enough for Charles to hear and turn around. The woman he's with also turns. I don't recognize her, but she's absolutely beautiful. Max tries to move the phone away from Charles but the damage has been done. I saw him...being very intimate with another woman right after he asked me to stay an extra day in Paris, for him. I'm such an idiot.

"Hey Kelly. Why aren't you here yet?" Charles asks a moment later, his head popping onto the screen. He sees me standing next to Kelly the moment he finishes his sentence and his expression drops. He was not expecting to see me standing next to her. I avoid his gaze, focusing on Morgan and Jeremy who are just beyond the phone listening to the conversation. They can tell by my face that something I wrong and they both have furrowed brows.

"I'm in Paris to see Lydia. You remember Lydia, right?" Kelly says pointedly, obvious anger in her voice.

"Mon soleil..." Charles says, trying to get my attention and my eyes flick to his. He looks nervous and I know I probably look angry.

"Don't call me that." I reply sharply with frustration. His expression turns to one of hurt and for a moment I feel bad but then I see the woman he was close with in the background staring daggers at me and I no longer feel bad. He turns around to see what I'm looking at and curses under his breath in French before turning back towards me.

"It's not what your thinking Lydia. I swear! I don't even know her." He says, which honestly makes it 1,000 times worse. I can't help but laugh, he's seriously so stupid. Kelly rolls her eyes and Max and Lando are looking sheepish. Instead of responding to him I just walk away from the phone and head across the street to try to calm myself down.

How am I so stupid to trust him over and over again? Jeremy followed me across the street and pulls me tightly into his arms. I don't let myself cry, but I hold onto him tightly, thankful for his comfort. Kelly is yelling into her phone and a few minutes later she hangs up and storms over to me, Morgan following closely behind.

"I cannot believe him! And Max and Lando are covering for him! It's absurd." She huffs in anger and I furrow my brows in confusion.

"What do you mean they're covering for him?" I ask.

"They said Charles was trying to get away from her all night but he was trying to be polite and that's why he was letting her be all over him! They said he didn't do anything wrong."

I can't help but laugh sardonically. Men will always have each others backs I guess. Although it's weird because I thought both Max and Lando were on my side with all of this. What happened in only a span of a few days? Why are they protecting Charles now? Luckily I have Kelly, Morgan, Jeremy and Bianca on my side.

We end up calling it a night and heading back to the hotel. I'm no longer in the mood to be out and I'm so annoyed with myself for letting him affect me and my time here in Paris. We say goodbye to Kelly on the way up to our suite and the moment we step into it, I head to my room and shut the door wanting to be alone. After I get ready for bed, I lay down and force myself to sleep. Tomorrow is a new day and I vow to myself to not let Charles affect me. Im going to have a good day tomorrow and enjoy Paris.

The following morning I wake up before the sun. My sleeping schedule is all messed up but luckily it's not too early. I grab my phone and see that it's 5am. I decide to get dressed in some comfy clothes and take a walk with my kindle. I stop and get a latte and some croissants and head to the park near the Eiffel Tower. I spend the next few hours laying in the grass, reading my book, and enjoying the sunrise. Eventually my phone chimes with a notification and it's Kelly asking where I am. I tell her and it's not long before she finds me.

"How long have you been here?" She asks as she sits down next to me. I look at the time on my phone and reply.

"Three hours." I respond to which she just hums in response. Turning to look at her, I notice her eyebrows are drawn in and she looks stressed.

"What's wrong? Is P, okay?" I ask, suddenly worried.

"She's fine." She replies.

"Okay, so why do you look like that?" I ask.

"I need to show you something. And I'm worried you're going to react badly."

"If this is about the photos of Charles, I've already seen them..." I tell her to which she looks absolutely shocked.

About an hour ago I got a twitter notification and I saw the article and photos that I'm assuming Kelly is worried about showing me.

Formula 1 Driver, Charles Leclerc seen with not one but two new women in Italy in the span of 12 hours. The first woman, who has not been identified was seen getting close to the Ferrari driver. A source close to Leclerc tells us that they were flirting all night long and couldn't keep their hands off each other. Then early this morning he was seen with another mystery woman having breakfast with some friends. They were seen leaving together in his Ferrari Pista 488 and the two of them looked quite comfortable with one another. All of this comes off of a media panel he justdiddays agowhere he was asked about his relations with Lydia Kincaid to which he was linked to earlier this month. So who is Charles dating? We do not know, but one things for sure...he certainly has a type.

By the time I finished reading the article and looking at the photos, I felt numb. Absolutely numb. I had a pity party and let myself cry for about 5 minutes but then I forced myself to get over it. So what I was a fool and offered to stay an extra day in Paris because he practically begged me to. So what that I'm still completely and utterly in love with him. I will not let him affect me any more. This resolution end with me blocking his number and his social media accounts.

"So you've seen the photos...and you're okay?" Kelly asks and I smile at her since she seems so worried.

"Yes, I've seen them. No, I'm not okay but I'm not going to let them affect my time here. Plus, I blocked him on everything so I feel good about that."

"Oh babe. If you think that will deter him from contacting you, I would think again. I give it a few hours before you hear from him somehow. He's not going to stay away." She tells me and I narrow my eyes at her response. What makes her think he'll want to contact me?

"He's clearly moved on. He already has a freaking start of a roster. There's no need for him to reach out to me. Blocking him is more for my benefit, so I don't internet stalk him and his new 'friends'." I joke but Kelly doesn't think it's funny like I do. She just stares at me like I've lost my mind and honestly I probably have.

"Have you talked to Max since last night?" I ask, trying to change the subject.

"No. I'm still angry with him." She responds, just as her phone begins to ring. She shows me the display and I can't help but laugh. Speak of the devil. She answers the phone and I turn back to my book, trying to give her some privacy while she talks to Max. I'm so engrossed in my book up until I hear Kelly groan in annoyance. I look up to see her eyes shut and her pinching the bridge of her nose in what looks like frustration.

"You need to tell leave her alone. She doesn't want to talk to you Charles, that's why she blocked you." She says and I freeze. Charles? I must make a noise because her eyes flash open and see looks at me with sympathy as she listens to Charles respond.

"No, I'm not with her right now." She says as she puts the phone on speaker so I can hear the call now.

"Well where is she? Is she with that Jeremy guy? Please don't tell me she's with him right now." Charles says, sounding frantic. I roll my eyes in annoyance because of course he would assume I would immediately go to Jeremy.

"You can't be serious." Kelly says and Charles groans in frustration. With Kelly? With himself? Who knows. It's silent for a moment until Charles finally responds.

"Kelly, I'm...I really need to talk to her. I need to explain everything. The photos aren't what they look like. You have to believe me. I...I can't lose her."

My heart is beating fast in my chest and his words make me hopeful for a moment. Hopeful that the photos can be completely innocent, that he truly doesn't want to lose me, but then reality sinks in and I'm reminded that I can't trust him. Not after everything that's happened since we met. It's always one thing after another and I can't keep doing this. I need to break away from him desperately or we're going to constantly be going back and forth until we tear each other apart more than we already have.

Kelly catches my eye, looking to me for how she should respond. I'm not sure what she sees looking back at her. I feel confused and sad, but also convinced that the best thing for both Charles and I is to stop whatever it is we're doing cold Turkey.

"Just give her some time Charles. A lot has happened in the last few weeks and she needs time to process it all. What you should be worried about right now is yourself. You need to figure out what you want." Kelly tells him while grabbing my hand and squeezing tightly. I squeeze back silently thanking her for advocating to me while still being nice to Charles.

"I already know what I want. I want her." He replies without hesitation and tears prick my eyes. I'm confused about how he sounds so confident in that statement but only a couple of weeks ago it was something completely different.

"If that's true, you have a strange way of showing it." Kelly responds as she rolls her eyes.
Before Charles can respond, Max is talking in the background telling him that he needs to end the call because FP3 is starting shortly and they need to get focused. Charles mumbles something I don't understand and then Max is on the line telling Kelly goodbye and that he'll talk to her later. She wishes him good luck and ends the call. We sit silently for a few moments before she asks me if I'm okay.

"I'm fine. I'm not sure why now all of the sudden he's so adamant that he wants me though. It doesn't make any sense." I confess with a sigh as I glance towards the Eiffel Tower.

"I think he's always wanted you but got caught up with what his team at Ferrari want for him and his own quest at becoming the WDC. I honestly think he thought you would be okay with waiting for him and now that's not the case he realizes he made a mistake." Kelly tells me and I frown. If that's the case then why did he pursue a relationship with me in the first place? And why is he now surrounding himself with all of these different women?

"Let's just forget about all of this for right now. We should probably head back to the hotel so we can get ready for the day." I tell her as I gather my things and stand up, brushing out my pants in case they are dirty from my time laying in the grass. Kelly stands up and links her arm with mine as we walk the streets of Paris together back to our hotel. We talk about Penelope and how her ballet is going and by the time we make it back to the hotel my thoughts of Charles buried in the back of my mind.

I leave Kelly at her room to get ready. She wanted to call Penelope so I left her so she could do it in peace. When I get back to the suite, Jeremy greets me with a strange smile when I walk in. I know just from his expression that he has seen the photos of Charles this morning. He also follows Formula 1 religiously like me.

"I don't want to talk about it. I've blocked him on everything and I'm ready to move on from it all, okay?" I tell him before he can say anything about it. He just nods once and starts talking about our plans for the day. I'm thankful that he doesn't try to pry and get me to talk about it even though I know he's probably dying to know everything that's going on in my mind. But while we're still in Paris I want my focus to be on myself and my job. The Charles drama will have to wait.

Chapter 32: I know it won't work

Chapter Text

Saturday in Paris ended up being so much fun and I was so happy to experience a Red Bull event. I was able to meet a ton of new people and make some awesome industry connections. We even got to meet some of the athletes who were very friendly and attractive. We ended up partying with some of them at a local club. On Sunday morning Kelly left for Monza and I squeezed her right, not sure when I'm going to see her again. Her eyes were glistening while she climbed into her car and I can't help but feel sad about her leaving. Jeremy and Morgan did a good job cheering me up and distracting me though by taking me to the Louvre where we spent the day exploring.

By the time the Grand Prix started I couldn't stay away from my phone and was religiously checking the standings. When we get back to the suite, Max was leading on the 50th lap with Charles close behind followed by Lando. I'm chewing on my bottom lip as my nerves set in and I'm silently praying that Charles is able to pass Max. In the final lap of the race Charles gets DRS and is able to overtake Max in the last chicane. Jeremy and I are yelling at my phone while we watch and tears prick my eyes with happiness for Charles when he finishes the race in first place. Jeremy is cursing, having wanted Max to win but he still ended in P2, with Lando finishing P3.

The radio feed for Charles pops up on the screen and Xavi's voice is congratulating him for the win, and you can hear cheers from the Ferrari garage in the background but Charles doesn't seem very excited when he responds saying thank you to the team. I can't help but wonder why he's not celebrating, he hasn't won in Monza since 2019 and he always said how Monza was his favorite memory so far in his formula 1 career. You would think this would be a huge deal for him. The commentators even comment how Charles seems off and they wonder what's going on with him.

In my peripherals I can see Jeremy staring at me but I can't stop staring at the screen. I watch as Charles sits in his car for a moment before finally climbing out and congratulating Max and Lando and going to his team for their celebration before going through the process of weighing himself and taking off all of his gear. When he takes off his baklava, my heart surges in my chest. He looks so devastatingly handsome, and the camera is in his face as he goes to walk over to be interviewed. When the journalist asks him how he's feeling, Charles finally smiles but it's not quite right. It's not his typical smile that makes his eyes sparkle and I frown.

He discusses how the race went for him and how it was overtaking Max, who has now stepped up to the journalist as well. Charles excuses himself to the cool down room with a wave to the crowd as Max continues his interview, followed by Lando. In the cool down room, Charles is quiet while Max enters the room and comments on parts of the race while they wait for Lando. My stomach is in knots, wanting to know why Charles is acting the way he is. What is wrong with him?

"Why do you look like you're going to cry?" Morgan asks, startling me and I look away from the screen of my phone to see Jeremy looking at me with sympathy and Morgan looking at me with confusion.

"He's not acting like himself. Something is wrong." I mumble as I turn my vision back to the screen as the podium presentation start. Charles finally makes his way to stand on the number 1 spot as the crowd goes crazy cheering for him. He waves and smiles again but it's still not right. I guess to the normal person he looks normal, but I know better. Something is wrong.

"He looks fine to me." Morgan responds, now looking at the screen as the Monaco national anthem begins to play and the camera zooms in on Charles face. His eyes are glistening as he listens and again he looks devastatingly beautiful. I wish I was there to see this in person, so very proud of him even if he's not proud of himself.

"I don't know, something's off." I say as the trophies are distributed and the boys pick up their champagne for their celebration.

I watch with a soft smile as I see Max and Lando go after Charles, who is now acting a bit more like himself. Watching the three of them does something funny to my heart. It makes me smile, seeing three of the five most important men in my life celebrate their accomplishments together. Jeremy eventually turns my phone off, since all I'm doing is staring at the screen. I didn't realize that I had tears falling out of my eyes until I turn to him and he wipes my cheeks.

"Are you okay?" He whispers, and I notice Morgan looking between us with narrowed eyes and I can't help but wonder what that's about. I pull away from Jeremy's hands and wipe my own face.

"Yeah, just a little emotional. We should probably start packing up our things. We need to get to the airport by 7, right?" I ask as I stand up and grab my phone. Jeremy nods his head and I give him a soft smile as I walk to my room, passing Morgan who is staring at me with confusion. I know I'm acting crazy right now, my emotions are all over the place but I can't help it. I'm not sure how to function right now when all I want to do is call Charles to congratulate him but more importantly ask him what is wrong, because I know something is wrong.

Once the door to my room is closed, I throw my phone on the bed so I'm not tempted to unblock Charles' number so I can do exactly that. Instead I work on packing up all of my thing, making sure that I don't forget anything. It doesn't take me long before I'm done and I'm eyeing my phone. My resolve dissolves and I grab it a moment later. I notice I have a new text message from Kelly, sent only a couple of minutes ago and I quickly open it to read. It's a video of Charles, Max and Lando talking in Max's drivers room by the looks of it. I take a deep breath and press play, not sure what to expect.

"What is wrong with you mate? You should be f*cking ecstatic right now." Lando says, looking at Charles with concern.

"How can I truly celebrate when she won't f*cking talk to me?! She should be here, celebrating with me. I should have been kissing her at the finish line. That's all I've wanted since I met her, but I let people get into my head and now everything is f*cked and she thinks I'm dating other girls. She's never going to forgive me!" Charles shouts and Max wraps an arm around him in comfort. My chest tightens and tears fill my eyes.

"Look mate, as much as I was against this relationship in the beginning I know now that you truly love her. And she loves you too, don't give up hope. We'll come up with a plan when we get back to Monaco and we'll get you your girl back. But right now, lets celebrate." Lando replies.

"He's right Charles. Kelly told me that Lydia still has you as her lock screen on her phone. And she tried to hide the fact that she was checking on the results to Qualifying yesterday but when she saw you got pole she couldn't stop smiling. She still loves you. If she didn't, she wouldn't have reacted like she did when she saw you with that girl." Max adds and I briefly get angry at Kelly for telling Max those things, but when I see the way Charles smiles at what Max told him, my anger dissolves. He finally smiles for real and my heart skips a beat when his dimples make themselves known. The video cuts out there and I stare at my screen, not sure what to do.

Me: Why did you send me that?
Kelly: I thought you should see it.
Kelly: Maybe you should hear him out.
Kelly: He seems miserable.

As I read her messages I can't help but get angry again. Whose side is she on? Just because he regrets his decisions now doesn't mean that I should forgive him and give him another chance. I'm not thoroughly convinced anymore that we make a great match. Of course I love him, and always will but that doesn't mean that he feels the same. Right now, I think he just feels lonely and guilty for me having to leave Italy but he's mistaking those feelings and thinking that it's because he misses me. I don't bother responding to Kelly. Instead I decide to call Ezra since I haven't talked to him in a few days since he's been busy with his team.

"Hey Mama! How is Paris?" He answers on the third ring.

"It's good! We're getting ready to head to the airport to head back to San Diego." I reply.

"I thought you were staying an extra day to see Charles...what happened now?"

"Nothing, I just need to go back with my boss tonight." I lie and he hums not really believing me and I know I need to end this conversation before he pries out the truth from me.

"I just wanted to check up on you and tell you I love you and miss you. I'll let you know when I get back to San Diego, okay?" I continue, hoping that he won't press me.

"I love you and miss you too, Mama. I'll talk to you later." He replies much to my relief and we say goodbye and hang up the phone. I decide to turn my phone off then, not wanting to get any more texts from Kelly or anyone else for that matter and I head out of my room to find Jeremy and Morgan waiting for me in the living room.

We take our bags downstairs and climb into our waiting Uber minutes later. I sit silently as Morgan and Jeremy talk amongst themselves about god knows what. I'm not listening, I'm too in my head to pay attention. Instead I'm staring out the window at the passing Paris traffic and scenery. When we finally make it to the airport, I climb out of the car and go to get my bag from the trunk of the Uber. As I'm pulling it out of the back, I hear a camera shutter and turn to see a man with a professional camera taking my photo and he looks vaguely familiar. A moment later, I know why he looks familiar...it's the same photographer who took my photo multiple times in Italy.

Jeremy notices me starting at him and walks up to me, wrapping a protective arm around me. He leans down and whispers in my ear asking if I'm okay. I look up at him and give him a smile, and whisper to him that the man is paparazzi who has taken my photo before. Jeremy's eyebrows furrow as he looks from me to the man and I cringe when I realize the man is still taking photos and I know mine and Jeremy's photo is going to be all over the internet in a matter of minutes. I take a step away from Jeremy and start walking into the airport, trying to get away but the man follows me, still clicking away and now asking questions about Charles and me, and also about who Jeremy is. I don't say a word as I keep walking. Jeremy and Morgan are following me closely, I can hear them behind me.

"Leave her alone, asshole! Go eat a dick." Morgan shouts at the man, and I can hear Jeremy chuckle under his breath but pull Morgan along into the airport so she can't say anything else that will get her into trouble.

Luckily the man doesn't follow us into the airport, and when the doors close behind us I breath a sigh of relief. Frustration and anger rips through me as I realize what just happened and I hate that I'm reacting this way. But how did that man know I was here? And why was he here waiting for me? Morgan immediately warps me in her arms and I completely fall apart. What is it with me and her in airports that makes me completely lose it. She lets me sob into her shoulder once again and she doesn't let go of me until my tears subside. I finally pull away and wipe my face free of the tears and look up to see her looking at me with concern.

"I told security to have him escorted from the premises. He was trying to get photos of you through the windows." Jeremy tells me when I notice him walking up to us. I shake my head in annoyance that the man was trying so hard to get photos of me and I dread seeing what he got. I thank Jeremy and Morgan for their help to which they both apologized for not doing more. I laughed at them because it's ridiculous, what more could they have possibly done? It's not their fault that people are crazy.

"Come on, let's go. I'm ready to go home." I tell them as I grab my bag and start walking to the security check point so we can get to our gate. An hour later we are waiting in the first class lounge. I'm nursing a whiskey sour as Jeremy and Morgan are on their phones. Jeremy groans causing me to pull away from my thoughts and look up at him. He silently hands me his phone and on the screen are countless photos of me and Kelly in the park, and of us walking back to the hotel arm in arm, some of me outside of the Louvre and again walking into the hotel with Jeremy and Morgan. Then there are the ones from today getting out of the Uber, photos of me and Jeremy, photos of Morgan yelling at the man, and then finally some of me falling apart in Morgan's arms. I read the blurb that's attached to the photos after scrolling through the images once more.

Lydia Kincaid, Charles Leclerc's rumored ex-fling seen in Paris this weekend hanging out with Max Verstappen's girlfriend, Kelly Piquet, head of Red Bulls International Sports, Jeremy Rhodes and his personal assistant Morgan Williams. They were seen attending the Paris Red Bull Games, among other locations across the city. It seems like Lydia was getting close and personal with Jeremy who I can only assume is her newest victim in this game she seems to be playing in finding herself a rich husband. Or perhaps this is a direct response to the images of Charles that were released with him and other women. To me it seems like she is being the typical calculated woman, trying to make Charles jealous so he'll want her back. Let me just say, it's not flattering and I hope Charles is not dumb enough to fall for it.

There are multiple things I feel once I'm done reading the blurb and seeing those photos. One, I feel so violated that I was photographed multiple times without even knowing. Two, I have so much anger over the words that were written about me that I seriously want to punch something. Jeremy is studying my face as I hand his phone back to him. Morgan grabs it before he can and looks through what I just did as I pound my drink. When I set my glass down, I look to Morgan whose mouth is open in shock.

"What the f*ck! The comments on this article are vile." She says and I squeeze my eyes shut and rest my head on the table before me. Jeremy grabs his phone and puts it away, knowing that no good comes from reading comments. Jeremy grabs my hand and forces me to look at him. I can tell he wants to do something to help, but doesn't know what. I don't know what can be done either. At this point it is what it is.

"Jesus, you have 30,000 followers on Instagram now." Morgan says a moment later and I roll my eyes because of course she would be checking that.

"You should post. Act like you don't care about the article and the photos." She says a moment later and I want to strangle her. Right now is not the time to worry about social media but maybe she's right. She understand how social media works better than I ever could. I silently grab my phone from my purse and turn it on before handing it to her.

"Go at it. Curate me the perfect post. My passcode is 162214." I tell her as I stand up to go order another drink. She smiles brightly as she gets to work and Jeremy follows after me.

"Can I get another whiskey sour, please?" I tell the bartender who immediately starts making my drink with a smile.

"Are you okay?" Jeremy asks me and I can't help but laugh. It seems like he's constantly asking me that.

"I'm fine. Gotta fake it till I make it. You never know whose watching." I smile, as I look around the lounge to make sure no one is taking photos of me. At this point, I'm going to be constantly looking over my shoulder.

"It shouldn't have to be that way." He whispers and I look back towards him.

"When I first got with him, I knew this would happen. It is what it is. Although, at least before I had him." I tell him just as the bartender places my drink in front of me. I smile in thanks as I hand him money and walk back to Morgan with Jeremy following closely behind. Jeremy doesn't respond to which I'm thankful. I don't want any sympathy right now.

"You're phone has not stopped buzzing since I unlocked it. Do you want to see the messages?" Morgan asks me with a strange face and I shake my head.

"Just put it on do not disturb. I don't want to talk to anyone right now." I reply as I take a long pull of my drink, hoping that I can drink my problems away.

It's not long after that we board the flight and I finally take a relieved breath. I need to get out of Europe and away from all of this drama that seems to be following me. I tell Morgan to keep my phone and end up falling asleep a few minutes after we make it to altitude. I don't end up waking up until we're about to land in San Diego. Jeremy is staring at me when I open my eyes and he silently passes me his phone that's open to a new Instagram story post made by Charles. My heart clenches so hard in my chest as I read through each post.

I know there has been a lot of speculation about my relationship status in the press and on social media. Truthfully, it's not really anyone's business but I feel the need to clarify a few things to the public.

I am not dating anyone. The woman I was photographed with on Friday evening was the daughter of the restaurant owner. She was being very friendly with me and I was being polite. Absolutely nothing happened with her and the images released were very calculatedly taken. The "close source" that was quoted was actually the daughter herself seeking her 15 minutes of fame by going to the paparazzi.

The following morning I was photographed with a woman named Francesca Bianchi. She is Jules Bianchi's cousin and the head of Bianchi Public Relations who has agreed to join my team and is now representing me.

As for Lydia. I will not be going into the details of our relationship but I do want to comment on the hate she's getting on social media and within the tabloids. The way she is being treated is extremely unfair and completely unacceptable. If you are a true supporter of me, you wouldn't be commenting the things you are online about someone who I care deeply about. Please leave her alone, and if you feel the need to hate on anyone, let it be me. I'm the one who deserves it, not her.

To the fans that have shown me and Lydia nothing but love, and respect, I thank you. I thank you for your continued support and I look forward to winning more races for you all. I love you.

Forza Ferrari, Sempre.❤️

Tears threaten to pool over as I finish reading his words. My emotions are all over the place, not knowing how I should be feeling in this moment. It's a relief to know what the women he was photographed with aren't ones he's dating. And I appreciate him telling his fans to leave me alone, although I know it's not going to work and I'll continue getting hate. But something bothers me about the fact that he's willing to admit he cares about me now. It feels a little too late.

Chapter 33: I miss you, I'm sorry

Chapter Text

Charles POV

5 weeks later

It's been 48 days since I last saw Lydia in person. Seven weeks since I last looked into those beautiful cerulean eyes filled with tears and made the biggest mistake of my life. I should have never let my PR team convince me that the best choice for everyone was to end things with her. My intention was never to make it forever, I really did just want it to be a break while I figured out how to handle the media and social media backlash. But my team had other ideas and I will always regret letting them control me.

And to make matters worse, I didn't just lose her...I lost Ezra too. He hasn't spoken to me or Arthur since everything went down between me and his mom. And I don't blame him, not one bit. I don't deserve either of them in my life, yet I can't seem to let them go. It's crazy how quickly I grew attached to each of them and how much I miss them.

I'm constantly checking up on them even if they don't know it. Luckily, Max and Lando feel sorry for me so they keep me in the loop whenever they talk to her or Ezra, which is almost everyday. I've always been a jealous man, and knowing that she's giving her attention to two of my closest friends drives me crazy most days. It also doesn't help that I check her social media accounts daily on my secret account and have to see her living her best life in San Diego. With Jeremy...

Max and Lando tell me at least once a day when I start getting in my head that nothing is going on between the two of them, but I'm not convinced. A couple of weeks ago they went on a weekend trip to Yosemite together, just the two of them. In the photos she posted, they looked close...too close. It took everything in me to not message her demanding to know what's going on between the two of them. She never responds to my messages anyways.

What she does instead is post cryptic posts in response to whenever I message her. It drives me crazy that she won't just talk to me, but at least she's communicating in some way and she has yet to block me on my secret account. In some twisted way that makes me happy, knowing that maybe she doesn't completely hate me. There's also our playlist that I made us in Maranello. We both have continued to put songs on it, silently communicating what we want to tell each other but can't.

Her song choices always seem to splinter my heart, but I'll take anything she gives me. At this point I'm living off the crumbs she's leaving me. It's pathetic, but I'm so deeply in love with her that I'll take anything she's willing to give me. I'm currently listening to the most recent song she posted just last night. 'I miss you, I'm sorry' by Gracie Abrams has been playing on repeat in my headphones the whole flight to Texas. I've been hyper-fixated on it, trying to figure out what Lydia is trying to tell me. Is she telling me she misses me? That she still loves me? I hope so.

"Mate, why do you keep listening to the same song over and over?" Lando asks me, shaking me from my thoughts. I take out my headphones and turn to look at him, and understanding comes over his face. He knows about the playlist, and he's constantly telling me to not read too much into the songs she adds but it's hard not too.

"Does she know I'm going to be there?" I ask him, wondering if she's trying to tell me something before we see each other. Based on Lando's face, she has no clue I'm also going to Austin City Limits and my hope that she's trying to tell me something fades causing me to frown.

Max, Kelly and Lando brought up going to Austin City Limits before the Austin GP next weekend. At first I had no desire to go, having wanted to spend my birthday in Monaco sequestered to my apartment before flying in for the GP, since I couldn't be with the one person I wanted to be with. But when they mentioned both Lydia and Ezra would be going I changed my mind. For the first time in weeks, I felt excited and have been anxious ever since, counting down the minutes until I saw her again.

"Is...is she going to be mad when Arthur and I show up with you all?" I stutter, as my mind starts making up scenarios in my head on how it will go seeing her again.

"I don't know, Charles. She misses you." Lando says, and I smile at his confession.

"But I don't know if that means she wants to see you." He continues and my smile falls.

For the rest of the flight, I stare out the window trying to figure out what I'm going to say to her when I finally see her again. Do I play it cool and pretend like I'm not completely lost without her? Do I break down and confess how badly I need her? Or do I just play it by ear and see how she reacts to me being there in the first place? By the time we land, my stomach is in knots with the stress of it all and everyone I'm with gives me a wide berth as we make our way to the airbnb we rented for the next two weeks.

The following morning, I wake up before the sun. I'm too anxious to sleep and I need to do something to burn off some of my nervous energy. Grabbing my phone, and headphones I step outside to go for a run. I put on our playlist and start running with no destination in mind. I've been to Austin a few times and I've always loved this city. Now I have even more love for it since it's Lydia's hometown. Although, her parents still live here and that makes me want to go find them and tell them how horrible they are for ever abandoning Lydia and Ez.

I'm so lost in my thoughts that I don't notice that I'm quickly approaching a woman with long chocolate colored hair swishing from her ponytail against her lower back as she runs. My stomach dips as I think about how she looks like Lydia from behind. The next thing I know, the woman is looking over her shoulder at me and I nearly trip as I realize it is Lydia. I immediately stop running, so shocked that she's actually here...right in front of me, running in the streets of Austin at 6am in the morning. What are the chances that we're both out right now? I don't know what to do, I didn't expect to see her until this afternoon.

I watch silently as she stops running herself. She has her back to me now, her head bowed slightly down like she's contemplating turning to face me or to keep running. Pulling my headphones out of my ears, I take a handful of steps towards her. She whips around to face me and her eyes narrow at me, and I stop my approach. She looks beautiful even in her obvious annoyance that I'm standing before her. Her cheeks are flushed a pretty pink color, and she has a light layer of sweat that is making her skin glow in the early morning light. Her eyes are glistening slightly and are so full of emotion that I really wish I could read her mind right now. My heart surges in my chest as I realize the woman I'm in love with is finally standing in front of me again.

Lydia's POV

Am I hallucinating or is Charles really standing right in front of me? I narrow my gaze at him as butterflies erupt in my stomach. He looks so good it hurts to look at him. He has a light layer of sweat coating his skin and it's sinfully sexy. I follow the lines of his face down to his chest and force my eyes to not stray further. His clothes are sticking to him tightly and it's tantalizing. My gaze finds his again and I nearly whimper at his expression. He's looking at me like I'm the most important thing to him...like he loves me. It's absolutely overwhelming.

He takes another tentative step towards me, and I snap out of whatever trance seeing him has put my under. Why is he here? What is he doing standing in front of me? I back away from his approaching step and he stops, his shoulders sagging at my reaction to him. It's not that I don't want him to touch me, I would give anything for a hug from him right now. But I'm worried that the second we touch again, I'll completely buckle.

The past month and a half have been some of the best and worst moments in my adult life. Jeremy, Morgan and Bianca have been my saving grace since I left Italy. They've given me so many wonderful memories in such a short amount of time and they've quickly become like family to me. They've also helped me deal with times where I was so depressed from missing Charles and the relentless comments that still come to this day, that I couldn't get out of bed. And slowly I've been getting better each day.

Charles standing before me is a shock. It's not like I haven't been keeping up with him though. I check his social media daily through a second account I have. I ask about him all the time whenever I talk to Max or Lando. I watch every Grand Prix no matter what time I have to be awake for it. And don't get me started on our playlist. Both of us have been adding to it still, and each time he adds a new song my heart aches for him. Just like it does right now. It would be so easy for me to just walk up to him, kiss him silly and beg him to love me forever. But I just can't do that, because I don't trust him.

"What are you doing here?" I ask, finally snapping out of my thoughts. The way he's looking at me though is too much so I have to look down at my feet to get ahold of my emotions as I wait for him to respond.

"I'm going to Austin City Limits." He replies and my gaze snaps to his in surprise.

"Max and Lando invited me and Arthur." He continues, and I realize in this moment what is happening. Lando, Max and Kelly have been so weird about this weekend and now I know why, they planned this. For us to see each other again. I shake my head as I laugh at how conniving they are.

"I'm going to kill them." I mumble with annoyance and look away from Charles who looks like he wants to pull me into his arms. I see in my peripherals that he winces at my reaction and I instantly feel guilty for it.

"Not that I'm not happy to see you, it's just...I would have liked to have some warning. So I could have prepared myself...I wasn't expecting on seeing you until next weekend..." I trail off, and look back down at my feet, feeling awkward. Charles takes another step towards me and now we are standing only a couple of feet apart. I could just reach out my hand a couple of inches and I'd be able to touch him. My fingers itch to touch him, but I force my arms to stay by my side. The next thing I know, Charles is moving a piece of my hair that fell out of my ponytail behind my ear. His fingertips trailing gently over my ear and my body erupts in goosebumps and I can't help but lean into his touch.

"Mon soleil..." He whispers as he takes another step toward me, and wraps me tightly in his arms. His hands wrapping into my ponytail and hold me hostage against him. My eyes well with tears as I hear his nickname for me and feel his strong body against mine and I can't help but melt into him.Home.He feels like home. I don't know how long we stand there, holding each other like we never want to let each other go but eventually we pull apart when my phone starts ringing.

I glanced down at the caller ID and see that it's Jeremy calling me and when I answer, I took up to see Charles' jaw clench and a flash of jealous comes across his face before he pushes it away and gives me a soft smile instead. He turns away from me a moment later and takes a few steps away from me before stopping. I watch his back as I listen to Jeremy ask me where I disappeared to.

"I couldn't sleep so I went for a run. I'll be back at the house in 15 minutes or so." I reply.

"Okay. Hurry if you can. Something happened with Morgan and Tyler. She needs you." Jeremy replies sounding stressed.

"What happened?!" I demand, as I start pacing trying to figure out what could have happened. Tyler is Morgan's boyfriend. They've been having some problems lately, but nothing too serious. Charles turns around when he hears me, looking at me with furrowed brows.

"That motherf*cker cheated on her!" Jeremy replies angrily and I stop in my tracks as my stomach drops and I can't help the gasp I make in shock. Charles immediately comes to stand beside me, placing his hand gently on my hip to comfort me. I don't think he even realizes what he's doing, he's too focused on my face and trying to see if I'm okay.

"You have to be kidding me! I'm going to f*cking kill him!" I sneer. My anger is palpable and Charles tightens his hold on my hip.

"I'll be there as soon as I can." I continue and quickly hang up the phone. Charles looks at me expectantly as I pull up my Uber app and start ordering a car so I can get back quicker.

"Everything okay?" He asks me as he stares down at me, his hand still on my hip.

"I'm not sure. I guess my friend just found out that her boyfriend cheated on her. She needs me." I tell him as I get confirmation that my car is 2 minutes away. I finally look up at Charles and he looks really worried.

"Morgan?" He asks with obvious concern.

"Yes." I tell him as I stare at him in shock.

"Why do you look so surprised that I know who she is?" He asks me a moment later.

"I spend a lot of my free time on your Instagram page mon soleil." He continues with a smirk and I can't help but feel giddy at his confession. I have to bite my lip to prevent my smile that's trying to break free. At my reaction, Charles breaks out with that breathtaking smile of his. His dimples on full display and I bite my lip harder, trying to control myself.

Thankfully my Uber pulls up a second later and I step away from him and move to open the door but Charles beats me to it. He opens the door but blocks me from getting in. I'm about to yell at him to move when he leans his head down and asks the driver to verify who he's meant to be picking up. I immediately lose the anger that I had, he was just trying to keep me safe by making sure it was the right car. With the drivers confirmation that he's here for me, Charles moves out of the way and holds out his hand for me to take so he can help me get into the car. As I take it, I notice a Cartier Love bracelet on his wrist and I can't help but wonder if it's the one he bought me. Once I'm seated, he bends down once more and smiles at me.

"I'll see you in a few hours?" He asks hopefully and I can't help the smile that comes over my face as I nod in confirmation. His answering smile gives me butterflies as the car sets off back to the airbnb I'm staying at with Jeremy, Morgan, Bianca and Ezra. Right before I get to the house my phone dings with a notification. Charles has added a new song to our playlist. I open it to find he added the song 'Baby, I'm Yours' by Arctic Monkeys and I can't help but wonder what he's trying to tell me. Going to my contacts, I find Charles' and click unblock and for the first time since Paris, I text him.

Me: So, you're mine?
Charles: Always.
Charles: Even if you're not mine.
Me: LP...
Charles: At some point this weekend we will be talking about us mon soleil. Okay?
Me: Okay.

I take a deep breath as I reread his texts and my stomach does funny things as I can't help but be hopeful by his messages. I have to remind myself to not get swept up in him though because I still don't trust him. But I do owe him a conversation. We'll just have to see how things go from there. A couple of minutes later, my Uber is dropping me off at the airbnb and I'm met at the door by Jeremy, who looks absolutely devastated.

"Thank god you're back. She's locked herself in her bedroom and won't talk to anyone. I need to know if she's okay Lyd. Please get her to open the door or I'm going to do something crazy like break it down." He tells me desperately as I head into the kitchen where the alcohol is. I grab a bottle of tequila and head to where her room is and knock lightly.

"Mor, it's me. Let me in, I have tequila." I tell her and a few moments later I hear the door unlock and she cracks it open to look at me. Jeremy is over my shoulder peering at her. I hear a slight intake of breath as he takes in her tear streaked cheeks and bloodshot eyes and I know he's desperate to try to make her feel better. Morgan doesn't say anything, just grabs my arm and drags me into her room. She looks at Jeremy for a moment and I watch something silently pass between them before she closes the door and locks us in.

"Shot?" I ask with a sad smile while holding out the bottle of tequila towards her. She takes it from me, uncorks the bottle and takes a long swig. Tears fall from her eyes as she hands the bottle back to me and I follow suit with taking a shot as well. I don't drink as much as her since it's only 7am. For a few minutes she doesn't talk and I don't pressure her to because I know how it is to be deep in your emotions. Instead I tell her something to distract her from what she's going through right now.

"Charles is in Austin. I just ran into him on my run." I tell her and her head whips towards me and her eyes bulge out of her head, and then she shouts in shock. I can't help but laugh at her reaction, but a few moments later I give her every detail of my interaction with Charles.

Chapter 34: Last Last

Chapter Text

Charles POV

After my run in with Lydia this morning I've been on cloud 9. When I barged back into the airbnb this morning Kelly was the only one who was awake and the moment she saw me, her eyes narrowed.

"You look like you're in a good mood this morning." She responds as I walk to the refrigerator to grab a water. I can't keep the smile off my face as I hum in response to her comment.

"I ran into Lydia while I was out." I say after I swallow a large gulp of water and I watch as Kellys gaze moves from her phone in front of her to my face, her expression one of confusion.

"It was like fate, us both being out at the same time in the same place." I muse, more to myself than to her.

"Did you talk to her?" She asks me and I smile brightly once more.

"I did, and she finally unblocked me." I tell her as I take the seat next to her at the island. She stares at me slack jawed with her eyes wide in surprise.

"I have a good feeling about this Kell." I continue.

"You can't f*ck this up Charles. If you want to be with her, you need to be all in this time. No games. No outside parties influencing you. No second guessing things. She won't ever forgive you if you break her heart again. I want you two together, we all do. But don't think for a second that we won't choose her side if push comes to shove. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a phone call to make." She tells me and pushes out of her chair to go back to the room her and Max are sharing.

"I won't f*ck it up! I won't be making the same mistakes twice!" I yell out to her as she walks away but she doesn't acknowledge what I said.

I know I'm lucky that she even still talks to me, that Max and Lando still talk to me. They all wanted to kill me when everything went down with Lydia, but after I explained everything and told them countless times how much Lydia means to me, they finally relented and offered to help me get her back in my good graces. If Lydia ends up giving me another chance, there's no way I'll f*ck up again. I won't allow myself to ever treat her the way I did, ever again.

The rest of the morning I try to stay busy. I cook breakfast for everyone and then clean all the dishes. After that I take a long shower and fantasize about how Lydia felt in my arms this morning and how much I wanted to bend down and kiss her full pink lips. That thought leads me to how those luscious lips would look wrapped around my dick once more and I end up coming long and hard with her name on my lips. My hand has been my best friend since Lydia left and I'm not ashamed to admit it. As much as I miss the sex...there's no way I could think about sleeping with someone else that's not Lydia. I only want her.

After my shower, I take my time getting ready for the first day of the festival. We are planning on leaving here around noon so I have an hour to get ready. I get dressed in my favorite pair of blue jeans and the blue striped shirt that I got in Sardinia to match Lydia. I finish the look off with white Nike high tops and my typical jewelry with a few additions. I'm now sporting Lydia's Cartier Love bracelet on my right wrist and the dandelion necklace I gave her around my neck. Some people might think it's too feminine and maybe it is, but I don't care. They are the two pieces of jewelry that I bought for Lydia that she wore most often and they mean the most.

At first I was heartbroken and angry when I got back to Monaco to find the box of returned gifts I bought her sitting on my kitchen island. I was pissed that she didn't want to keep anything, it felt like I meant nothing to her. That my gifts meant nothing. But the more I thought about it, the more it made sense that she'd return everything. She hated me buying her gifts. Not that she wasn't thankful for them or love them, she did. But she didn't want or need materialistic things. She wasn't with me for my money. She just wanted me.

I couldn't get rid of any of it though. The clothes still smell like her, and the jewelry is too sentimental for me to sell. Everything is sitting nice and organized in my closet waiting for her besides the two pieces of jewelry I'm sporting. And I'll keep sporting them until she asks for them back.

Coming back into my thoughts, I stare at myself in the mirror as I work on perfecting my hair. I give myself a pep talk in preparation of seeing Lydia again. My nerves aren't as bad as they were yesterday, our earlier run in has made me more at ease. Satisfied by how I look, I grab my phone, wallet and ray-bans off the bedside table and make my way out to find everyone else.Thirty minutes later we are still waiting for Lando to be done getting ready and I'm getting antsy. I just want to get there so I can see Lydia.

"Oye mate, let's go!" I yell down the hall trying to get him to get ready faster.

"Stop being a muppet. I'm coming!" He replies with a shout. A minute later he's walking towards us down the hall and we finally are headed out the door. I'm the first out the door and into our waiting car and I can hear Lando and Max whispering to one another about how I'm acting like a lovesick fool. I don't take offense because they aren't wrong. Arthur slides in beside me and claps a hand on my knee with a smile.

"I'm excited for you Charles. But please don't screw this up. I miss Lyd and Ez and I want them back in our lives." He tells me and I clap my hand on his shoulder, telling him that I'm not planning on screwing up. He grins and I try not to worry about the fact that everyone is warning me about screwing things up. I feel like by hearing it so much, I will screw things up.

By the time we are pulling up to the grounds I'm a nervous wreck again. Climbing out of the car, we make our way into the festival and surprisingly we don't have too many people stop us for autographs. Once we make it into VIP we don't really get approached by anyone and for that I'm thankful. Not that I don't love interacting with our fans, I absolutely do. I just want to be able to enjoy my time off, and be here with my friends and Lydia without having to deal with outsiders.

"Oh my god, Kelly!" I hear someone shout and I turn around just in time to see Lydia running at Kelly and jump into her arms. Her legs wrapping around Kelly's waist as she hugs her tight. The two of them are laughing as well as Max and Lando. I'm too mesmerized by how she looks to laugh. Eventually Lydia climbs off of Kelly and gives Max, Lando and Arthur hugs in greeting. Her smile is infectious and she looks absolutely gorgeous in her outfit. She's got high waisted cut off jean shorts and a tiny black spaghetti strap crop top that's tight across her breasts. The best part though is the black cowboy boots. Eventually she makes her way over to me and smirks at me before wrapping her arms around my neck.

"You look so f*cking good mon soleil." I whisper against her ear as I wrap my arms tightly around her waist. I feel her shiver against me and I can't help but feel satisfaction that I still affect her physically.

"Thank you. You look good too LP. I like the shirt." She tells me as she pulls away from me. Her eyes roam over my shirt and I know she's remembering the night when I wore it in Sardinia. It was when she finally decided to give me a second chance and we spent the whole night exploring each other. Memories of that night flash in both of our eyes as we stare at each other. Someone clears their throat trying to get our attention but I ignore them. Lydia doesn't though, she looks away from me and breaks whatever was just happening between us.

I begrudgingly look away from her, to whoever just interrupted us. My annoyance of being interrupted leaves as fast as it came when I see Ezra standing there. I can't help the smile that comes across my face when I see him again. He's grown even taller in the last month, now officially taller than me. Without thinking I wrap my arms around him and give him a tight hug. He stands there not moving for a moment before I feel him wrap his arms loosely around me.

"I've missed you, mate." I tell him as we separate from one another and he looks at me with furrowed brows, like he's not sure how to take my statement. I ignore his reaction and continue talking to him, wanting him to know that I've been keeping tabs on him while we haven't been in contact.

"You've been killing it lately on the track. That win you got in Sarno was amazing!"

As much as he tries to hide his reaction to my compliment, he can't control the smile that pops on his face and the look of pride. I notice Lydia looking between us with an expression that I can't quite decipher. It's a mixture of shock, awe and confusion. Before I can think too hard about both of their reactions, Arthur walks up to our group and engages in conversation with Ezra, who is much more friendly with him than me. I try not to be jealous, my brother is not the the one who hurt his mama so I understand his hesitance with me even if I hate it.

I turn my gaze away from Arthur and Ezra and look at Lydia who is now staring at me like she doesn't know what to do with me. Her eyes are glistening and it looks like she's trying not to cry. I furrow my brows with worry as I grab her hand and squeeze it.

"What's wrong mon soliel?" I ask quietly. She looks away from me, and shakes her head.

"Nothing. Nothing's wrong."

"Then why does it look like you're about to cry?" I hedge, because I don't believe that nothing is wrong.

"Because I'm happy." She whispers, and I furrow my brows even more with confusion. She turns her gaze back to mine and smiles softly before leaning forward and giving me a kiss on the cheek. I can't help but smile, even though I'm still confused about what's happening. She doesn't elaborate once she is back in front of me. Instead she turns around and looks like she's looking for someone. When she spots whoever she's looking for she raises her hand in the air and waves them over.

As she waves, I notice a tattoo on her finger. It looks like the roman numerals for 16 and my heart stutters. When she drops her hand, I grab it without thinking, and inspect her finger. I was right, it's the number 16. She turns to look at what I'm doing and her expression tells me everything I suspected. My heart seizes in my chest with happiness. She got my number tattooed on her. f*ck, that does something to me.

"Mon soliel. Is this what I think it is?" I ask with a smirk just as three people approach us. Before Lydia can respond to me, she turns to look at the group and yanks her hand from mine. I'll have to ask her about it later, because she's not going to avoid explaining that tattoo to me.

"How's everything going over here?" asks the blonde woman, who I now recognize as Morgan. She is looking between Lydia and I with a playful grin. I look at the two other people and recognize that the man is Jeremy, Lydia's boss, and the third person is a brunette woman who I recognize as Bianca who I also think is Jeremy's daughter.

"It's going great! Hi, by the way. I'm Charles. You must be Morgan." I respond before Lydia can, and step forward holding out my hand for a handshake. Morgan looks surprised that I know who she is but shakes my hand, while looking at Lydia with wide eyes. I try to suppress my smile as we drop hands. I then look over to Jeremy and Bianca. Jeremy is staring at me like he hates me, which he probably does. Bianca isn't paying any attention to me, she's too busy staring at Lando.

"And you must be Jeremy and Bianca." I say as I hold out my hand to Jeremy. He stares between me and my hand for a few moments before finally shaking mine. Bianca takes my hand when I offer it to her and she smiles politely but doesn't say anything. There's now an air of awkwardness that I'm not sure how to handle, and I turn to Lydia and see that she's silently communicating with Morgan and Jeremy. She must notice my gaze on her because she turns to me then and gives me an awkward smile.

"I think we need some alcohol." Morgan shouts to the group with a loud clap causing multiple people to laugh.

"I second that! This tension is too much, people need to loosen up." Bianca responds, pointedly looking at her father who only rolls his eyes.

The next thing I know, we are heading to the bar and ordering a round of shots for the group, minus Ezra. We all stand in a circle and hold up our shots because Morgan announced that we need to listen to her since her boyfriend just cheated on her.

"Here's to staying positive and testing negative! Cheers motherf*ckers!" Morgan shouts to the group and takes her shot, but no one else takes one with her because we're all shocked about what she just said.

"Morgan, what the f*ck?!" Lydia ends up yelling with a laugh, which breaks the tension and causes everyone else to laugh with her. Morgan just smiles cheekily at us like she is the funniest person in the group, and honestly she probably is. After we all stop our laughing we do a normal cheers and take our shots.

"Okay gang, let's do this!" Morgan yells to the group, and starts walking out of the VIP area and heading towards one of the stages. Jeremy immediately follows after her, followed by Lydia, Bianca and Kelly. Max, Lando and Arthur follow them with Ezra and me finishing off the group. I watch as the four girls link their arms together and a moment later, Lydia looks over her shoulder and makes eye contact with me. Morgan says something to her which makes her smile just as all four girls look over their shoulders in my direction and I can't help but smirk before they all turn back laughing.

"Charles, please don't hurt her again." Ezra says next to me, and I pull my gaze from Lydia and look over at him.

"She's finally getting back to normal. So if you're only here to screw with her head, then you need to leave." He continues and I watch his nose flare and his eyes turn glassy.

"I'm in love with her Ez. I have been since Sardinia but I made some horrible mistakes that I want to rectify. I'm not here to screw with her head. I'm here to win her back. To win you both back." I tell him with as much sincerity as I can muster. He finally turns to look at me, his jaw clenched and his shoulders tense. After a moment his gaze softens and he loosens his shoulders having seen the sincerity in my eyes.

"I've missed you too by the way." He tells me shyly and I can't help but wrap my arm around his neck and pull his head down towards me to mess with his hair. We both laugh and jump into a discussion about his latest race and how it looks like he's going to win the European Karting Championship this year.

By the time we make it to the stage the girls set out to, it seems like things between Ezra and I are pretty much back to how they used to be. I always knew it was going to be easier to get back to normal with him than it will be with Lydia. I just hope that his mama doesn't push me away or keep me at arms length for too long.

Chapter 35: Frequency Of Love

Chapter Text

Lydia's POV

"I don't know how you aren't jumping him right now. The way he looks at you..." Morgan comments with a shake of her head, her thought trailing off as she looks between Charles and I. We are currently back in the VIP area. Morgan and I are sitting under some trees in the shade while Charles, Jeremy, Max and Kelly are ordering drinks at the bar across the VIP area. Charles is leaning against the bar facing our direction and his eyes haven't left mine.

"How does he look at me?" I ask, pulling my gaze away from his and turning to look at Morgan who is still staring towards the bar. She laughs at my question but I'm genuinely curious. Ever since I saw Charles this morning, I've been confused. I know I'm still in love with him and I'm worried that I'm reading into his behavior too much in hopes of him finally being on the same page as me. If we were finally on the same page, then maybe, just maybe we could try again.

"Oh babe. Do you really not see it? That boy is in love with you." She tells me as she turns to look at me with furrowed brows once she realizes I'm genuinely asking her that question. My stomach dips at her comment. In love with me? So I'm not just reading into it. If she thinks so too, then maybe he does. My gaze goes back to him and I see that he is still looking at me.

"I thought I was imagining it...that I was tricking myself into thinking he still has feelings for me." I tell her as I turn to look at her once more.

"You're definitely not imagining it. Tyler never once looked at me the way Charles looks at you and I was with him for 5 years." Morgan says sadly, a lone tear sneaks from her eye and she quickly wipes it away.

"I know this is not the right time, and I'm probably going to get in trouble but f*ck it. Babe...there is someone who looks at you the same way Charles looks at me." I tell her, and I turn my gaze back towards the bar, and yup...Jeremy is staring at Morgan just like I thought he would be. I can see Morgan turn to look at where I'm looking and I hear her gasp slightly when she sees Jeremy looking at her. Now that Tyler is out of the picture, maybe she'll realize she has the perfect guy right in front of her who has loved her for a long time now.

Before she can interrogate me about what I just slyly told her, Charles and Jeremy start walking in our direction. They are talking between the two of them and I can't help but me grateful that they seem to be getting along. It doesn't take them long to make it to where we are sitting. I smile brightly as I look up at Charles who is holding out his hand for me to take so he can help me up. I don't take it immediately though, and raise my eyebrows at him, not giving into his silent demand. He smiles, and his dimples are just too much.

"Mon soleil, can I please speak with you for a minute?" He asks nicely and I grab his hand. The next moment he's pulling me up and immediately snaking his arm around my waist, acting like I was going to fall. I roll my eyes as he smirks at me.

"You're trouble." I whisper as I push myself away from him making him smirk even more. I then turn to Morgan and Jeremy, who has now taken my spot next to Morgan and let them know we'll see them in a bit. Then Charles is leading me away from them towards the exit of the VIP area and we decide that we'll go find a place in the cabana to get some food and sit down and talk.

A few minutes later we are seated on an outdoor couch in a secluded corner. There's a coffee table in front of us that now holds a charcuterie board, hummus and an array of nuts, pretzels and chips. We eat silently for a few minutes until I realize that Charles is staring at me, looking like he wants to ask me something.

"What is it Char?" I ask, turning towards him.

"How many tattoos do you have now? I know you got the butterflies with Kelly but I didn't realize you had gotten more." He asks. I knew this was coming yet I'm still nervous to show him. With a deep breath, I turn towards him. He has his full attention on me as I scoot a little closer to him so I can show him each tattoo.

"I currently have 9." I tell him and his eyes bulge in surprise making me laugh.

I then start telling him about each tattoo I have gotten so far. Starting with the butterflies I got with Kelly to symbolize our friendship. Then I show him the one on my other inner forearm that I had gotten with Morgan, Jeremy and Bianca. It's an infinity symbol but instead of a simple line, it's a wave. Next, I show him the one behind my left ear of the semi-colon. Then I show him the 'E' I have on my right inner wrist that also sort of looks like a heart for Ezra.

"This next one I'm going to show you is really unhinged. It's actually a tattoo I got with Jeremy because we lost a bet." I show him the top of my right hand where the letters 'CYCYGAPCYFC' are written in tiny block letters. His eyebrows furrow in confusion and I can't help but laugh.

"Change your car. You got a problem, change you're f*cking car." I say as I point to each letter. I'm trying so hard not to laugh, especially when Charles' gaze flashes to mine and he looks at me like I'm absolutely crazy. I can't hold it in any longer and end up busting up in laughter because I warned him it was completely unhinged.

"Jeremy has the corresponding letters for 'then you change your car because checo has been saying the car is f*cked'. I told you it was unhinged." I giggle as Charles jaw opens slightly in shock.

"I have to know what this bet was." Charles says with a laugh as he looks at me with extreme intrigue and I can't help but smile thinking back on what happened.

"So we were watching the Suzuka GP at a bar in downtown San Diego and this group of guys started talking sh*t about you and Max...they were Lewis fans." I begin to tell him, and I watch as he nods with a soft smile.

"Anyways, I'm not sure how we ended up placing the bet since we were drinking. But Jeremy and I bet that you and Max would take P1 and P2 and Lewis wouldn't even make the podium. Unfortunately...that's not what happened." I can't help but laugh as I think back at us screaming at the tv during the last 5 laps of the race. Charles was P1, Max P2 and Lando P3 but then out of nowhere Lewis overlook Lando, then Max and then on the second to last lap overtook Charles and ended up winning the whole thing. Jeremy and I sat in our bar stools slack jawed and in shock while the group of guys went ballistic over Lewis' win.

"You're kidding!" Charles says while huffing out a laugh.

"I'm not, so really I have you to thank for this insane tattoo!" I tell him as I playfully push him away from me. He catches my hand and places a kiss on to of the tattoo and butterflies take flight in my stomach.

"Okay, I've seen 5, now show me the rest." Charles says still holding onto my hand.

"I'll show you three more. One of them is in an area that I can't show you presently." I tell him and I watch as his eyes grow heated, I imagine he's trying to figure out where it is on my body.

"I have two finger tattoos. The 16 in roman numerals that you saw earlier and then a dandelion." I show him quickly, hoping that he won't make it a big deal that both of them are for him. His gaze turns from heated to something else entirely. He's staring at me in that way again...like he's in love with me but it seems more intense this time. I take a sharp intake of breath at how it makes me feel.

"Mon soleil, I..." He starts to say but I continue on with showing him the last tattoo not ready to hear what he was about to say.

"Then I have this one on my collarbone shoulder area." I say as I pull my hair away from my left shoulder and I move the strap of my shirt so he can read the words written in beautiful thin script.

"Jusqu'ua bout."Until the end. He whispers as he drags a fingertip over the words causing me to shiver at his soft touch. It's insane how badly I want him. It feels like it's been forever since we were last together. It was all the way back in Monaco, which feels like a lifetime ago.

I didn't realize we had moved closer together, but we are now only inches apart. Charles' eyes move from the tattoo to mine and then down to my lips. Unconsciously I lick them as I try to focus on my breathing and not being completely overwhelmed by him. He starts to lean forward like he wants to kiss me, but I'm not ready for that.

"Charles..." I whisper as I lean my head forward so our foreheads touch instead of our lips. I squeeze my eyes shut and take a deep breath.

"Tell me what I have to do for you to give me another chance mon soleil. I'll do anything." He whispers, sounding almost desperate and I can't help but rub my nose against his face as I contemplate his words. Before I can respond, someone clears their throat which causes us to break apart. I turn to see two girls standing in front of the coffee table staring intently at Charles. He gives them a friendly smile but I can tell he's annoyed we got interrupted. I keep my face neutral and wait to see what they want.

"We were wondering if you'd want to come to an after party tonight? It's at the hotel we're staying at..." a girl with long light brown hair asks while biting her lip and pushing her boobs towards us. My mouth drops open and I snort lightly because wow. The way she asked basically implies that the "after party" is intheirhotel room. The other girl turns her gaze to me then, and looks me up and down her face one of disgust. Like I'm not actually their competition. Since apparently that's what this is, a competition. It makes me laugh. Charles, bless his heart doesn't look like he understands what's happening and at my laugh he looks to me with confusion, and I raise my eyebrows at him.

"Ils vous proposent un ménage à trois." I tell him in broken French and his eyes bug out in his head causing me to laugh. I don't know if he's shocked by what I said or that I said it in French.I don't know much French and what I do know is not great but I had been secretly trying to learn ever since I met Charles, using apps and using free online websites.

"T'es sérieux?!" He asks looking absolutely scandalized. I can't help but laugh as I say 'oui'.

"Excuse me. Can you not interrupt our conversation with him?" The second girl sneers, and I turn to look at her. How dare she say I'm interrupting their conversation? Are they delusional? I mean they probably are if they thought they could get Charles to agree whatever it is they are trying to accomplish here. I stare up at her with raised eyebrows and she shakes her head at me like 'did you not hear me'. I can't help but laugh at her attitude. They have to be drunk because why would anyone act this way?

"First off, you two are the ones who interrupted us. Secondly, whatever it is you two are trying to proposition him with won't work." I tell her calmly, keeping my anger and annoyance in check. I feel bad that Charles has to deal with crazy people.

"Listen bitch, you don't own him. Besides, you're f*cking ugly and fat!! I'm sure he'd much rather get with two hot girls like us than with you." She replies, and almost tips herself over from all the finger pointing, and flailing she's doing. I try hard not to laugh at her response but I fail which seems to piss both of the girls off. I'm about to tell them to leave when Charles grabs my hand and stops me. I turn to look at him and he looks angrier than I've ever seen him.

"You two need to leave." He says darkly and the dark hair girl looks absolutely shocked that he asked them to leave. Neither girl goes to move though and Charles gets frustrated.

"We'll let you do anything you want to us. Agree to come, we'll make it worth it." the first girl says, completely ignoring Charles' request for them to leave. Behind them, I see a couple of the security guards that Charles and I met when we first walked into the cabana earlier. They had recognized Charles and asked for an autograph and photo. They are surveying the cabana and I flag them down. When they approaches us the girls are still trying to proposition Charles.

"How can I help you miss Lydia?" One of the security guard asks, remembering my name and I smile up at him.

"These girls won't leave Charles alone and they seem extremely drunk. Can you escort them away from us, please?" I ask, all while rubbing my thumb along Charles' hand to comfort him. I know he's extremely uncomfortable and annoyed but trying to stay polite. The girls must hear my request because they both turn back to me, their faces full of anger.

"We aren't bothering him, bitch!" The dark haired one shouts at me, then turns to the security guards just realizing they are standing there.

"Thank god you're here officers. This woman needs to be arrested. She threatened us and assaulted me!" She tells them, trying to sound scared and I am completely in shock. What is wrong with these girls?

"That is completely untrue. These two interrupted us, then proceeded to insult Lydia. I then politely asked them to leave, which they did not. Now they are harassing us. Lydia never once moved to approach either girl." Charles tells the security guards while squeezing my hand tightly. He's obviously stressed over this situation and I feel awful.

"Hey guys, what's going on?" Max asks startling both myself and Charles. Neither of us noticed him and the rest of the group approaching us because we were so focused on the situation in front of us.

"These girls propositioned Charles with a threesome and now won't leave us alone. This one is telling the security guards that I assaulted her." I tell the group while pointing to the girl with the dark hair and laughing, because it's honestly so f*cking ridiculous. Realizing a bit too late that I probably shouldn't have said that in front of the girl, I'm shocked when she jumps over the coffee table and tackles me into the couch, pulling my hair in the process.

It takes me a second to realize what just happened and before I can fight back she's already being pulled off of me by one of the security guards. She's screaming like a banshee and everything is in absolute chaos around us. The security guards drag the two girls away from us, Max and Kelly trail after them I'm assuming to make sure they take the girls far away from here. Charles and Jeremy both rush to me to see if I'm okay, while Morgan, Bianca and Lando head to the bar.

"Mon soleil, are you okay? Jesus, please tell me you're okay." Charles asks sounding desperate. His hands are on my cheeks, pushing my hair away from my face and checking to see if she hurt me in any way. She didn't. The worst she did was pull my hair a little bit, and get food all over me. The security guard got her off me before she could try to do anything too crazy.

"I'm fine LP. She just pulled out a little bit of hair." I tell him, and his hands run over my scalp gently like I'm going to have a large gash or something. He looks so freaked out that it makes me laugh.

"Are you sure you're okay Lyd?" Jeremy asks me and I nod.

"Yes, I'm fine. More just in shock that just happened. She was f*cking crazy!" I say while laughing. I'm not sure if it's the adrenaline or what but I can't stop laughing. The whole situation is so funny to me, like did that really just happen? Charles looks like he wants to cry and Jeremy is trying hard not to laugh too but eventually can't hold it back.

"It's not funny Lydia. She assaulted you because of me. You were attacked because of me." Charles says angrily and his words sober me up. I furrow my brows as I turn to look at him. He looks honestly devastated and I'm not sure why. Jeremy must sense that this conversation needs to happen between only Charles and I because he excuses himself, letting us know he'll go get us some drinks to help with our nerves.

"Char, it's not your fault that she attacked me. You are not responsible for any of what just happened. She is at fault. She is the reason why she attacked me. Clearly she has some issues, both with her self esteem and anger. I'm sure the alcohol didn't help either. But none of this was your fault, so stop blaming yourself." I tell him. He's staring down at our conjoined hands and won't look at me. Something in my gut tells me that he's retreating from me.

This situation is making him question being with me because he thinks that this will happen more than this one time. And he's probably realizing he can't deal with the potential PR disaster. I'm sure there are already photos and videos of what just happened circulating the internet as we speak and it's not going to look good. I can feel my eyes glossing over with moisture and I pull my hands from his.

"I'm sorry I embarrassed you. You should probably warn your PR team, I'm sure there are already photos circulating." I say sadly and I turn to leave so I can find the others. Before I can even stand Charles stops me. His eyes now on mine, looking confused.

"I'm not embarrassed by you and I'm not worried about photos being released. I don't care about that. I care about your safety. How can I ask you to give me another chance if I'm putting you at risk just by being with me?" He cries out and all I want to do is kiss him so he stops overthinking this. So I do. Before he can realize what I'm doing, I lean forward and place my lips on his. It takes him a moment to respond but when he does butterflies take flight in my stomach. It's not a long kiss, but it's intense. Both of us putting all of our feelings into it and by the time we pull apart we're both breathing heavy from the intensity of it.

"You're worth the risk, LP." I whisper as I lean forward once more and quickly give him a peck. When I lean back to look at him fully, he looks absolutely beautiful. He's staring at me like I'm the best thing he's ever seen and his smile...god, his smile.

Chapter 36: Everywhere, Everything

Chapter Text

Charles POV

Breaking News: Charles Leclerc seen getting cozy at Austin City Limits with rumored ex, Lydia Kincaid. Click the link to get all the juicy details.

Multiple sources say that they witnessed Formula 1 Ferrari driver, Charles Leclerc getting cozy with his rumored ex girlfriend, Lydia Kincaid while attending Austin City Limits day one yesterday. They were seen throughout the day looking happy and being very affectionate with one another. "They were sitting very closely, holding hands and looking to be having a pretty intense conversation. They were completely in their own world." says one source, who also stated that there was later an altercation between two other women and Lydia leading to one of the woman attacking her. "I don't know what happened, but one second the security guards were talking to the group, and then the next thing I know one of the girls is jumping onto Lydia who was sitting next to Charles on a lounger. After the security guards took the other girls away, Charles spent the next twenty minutes or so making sure Lydia was okay. They even shared a kiss. It was sweet how attentive he was to her." It's unclear what the altercation was about or whether or not charges have been pressed. We have reached out to Charles team for comment and have not heard back from them at the time of this article.

Tell us what you think of this new development. Are you happy that the two have seemed to find their way back to one another? Will this affect Charles' running at the Championship? Leave your thoughts below.

User38272047: omg I hope they are back together

User53735202: I heard the altercation was Lydia's fault, that she was jealous of the attention Charles was giving the girls.
Lorris4Nando: Someone who knows her told me the girls asked Charles back to their hotel for a threesome! When he told them to leave they started causing a scene and took their anger out on Lydia. Doesn't sound like her fault.

User62528274: they look so cute together

Formula1Dude: She's just a distraction. He's going to sh*t the bed now!
User26251018: He actually stayed consistent or maybe even did a little better when they were rumored to have been dating so I don't think she's a distraction. Stop blaming women for everything.

LeclercFan16: nooo my husband! jk, so happy for him!

User625393749: I saw them too! They make such a cute couple, and both of them were glowing from happiness. It was nice to see! He's been looking so sad lately.
User6352738: I hope this means we'll have goofy, giggly Charles back!

User63822630: I want to know what happened! I hope Lydia is okay.

User7620384: It's so refreshing to see mostly nice comments this time around. The comments when they first were linked together were so vile! I'm glad to see things are maybe different this time around.

User273629: Lydia is so fun! I follow her on IG and she seems perfect for Charles. I hope they are back together!

User5292736: I still miss Charles with Charlotte.
User72629: Charlotte is dating Joris now! They've both moved on and seem happy!

User736292: How did no one get video of the assault?
User101938: It was dark and the lighting was sh*t in the cabana area.

I woke up with notifications from my PR team about this article. They don't seem worried about the news getting out and based on the comments I'm reading, there's no truly horrible ones like the first time Lydia and I were in the media. I'm so extremely thankful for that. I'm not saying Lydia wouldn't be able to handle the comments, I know she would be fine. It's me who would have trouble with them. There is so much need in me to keep her safe and not targeted which is silly because if she's with me she's going to be a target to the media. It's just how it is. But last night freaked me out. I still feel responsible even though Lydia spent most of the time telling me otherwise.

I kept telling her that if I wasn't famous it wouldn't have happened but she rolled her eyes at me every time I said that and just said it was the girl who was crazy. I don't disagree but I don't think the girls would have approached me if I wasn't who I am. The girl who assault Lydia ended up getting arrested. Lydia is currently at the police station now giving them a statement of what happened and I'm waiting to see what the news is. I want her to press charges but when I talked to her this morning she didn't seem to be interested in doing so.

I'm angry our day was ruined yesterday and I'm angry that she has to deal with the police so early in the morning on a weekend she's meant to be having fun. One good thing that came from this whole ordeal though was that I got to kiss her again. The moment I felt her lips on mine, I felt like I was home. I was so happy and I poured every ounce of love into that kiss, hoping that she would realize how much I truly love her. We didn't get to talk about it or our relationship and where we stand because we ended up leaving the festival shortly after the incident.

"Have you heard back from her yet?" Lando asks me, pulling me away from my thoughts. He takes a seat next to me on the couch where I've been lounging. Friends is playing on the tv but I'm not paying attention to it.

"No. Not yet. Have you seen the article about us?" I ask him, showing him my phone screen in case he hasn't. He smirks and nods.

"Mhmmmm. I commented on my burner account. Some muppet was blaming Lydia for getting assaulted, saying it was because she was jealous!" He says angrily and I can't help but laugh. Leave it to Lando to stick up for his friends behind a secret account.

"Thanks man. I hate seeing the mean comments. Luckily there doesn't seem like too many this time." I say, looking back at my phone, silently begging it to ring with a call from Lydia. To my surprise it starts ringing but it's not Lydia. It's Francesca from my PR team. I answer immediately.

"Hey, what's up?" I answer.

"We need to decide if we're going to make a statement. I think we should explaining what happened if it's okay with Lydia. Have you talked to her yet? What did the police say?" She asks, in complete work mode even though it's past 5:30pm in France.

"I haven't heard from her yet, but I agree. I think we should make a statement clarifying everything so rumors don't go crazy. Once I hear from her I'll let you know, it should be anytime now." I tell her just as I hear a knock on the door. Lando stands to answer it and Lydia, Ezra, Jeremy, Morgan and Bianca are standing there with their luggage. I furrow my brows as I tell Francesca to hold on a minute to which she replied to take my time.

"Hey mon soleil. What's going on?" I ask as I approach the group and grab Lydia's bag from her as I kiss both of her cheeks in greeting.

"It's a long story. Let's get settled inside first. Max said it was okay if we came to stay with you guys." She says and although I'm confused, I'm excited she's here and staying with us.

"Of course. There's only two empty rooms left though just so you know." I tell them.

"Arthur said I can bunk with him. And Mama can bunk with you. That leaves Morgan and Bianca who can share and Jeremy can have his own room." Ezra says like it's the most perfect plan. I'm all for it but I look to Lydia for confirmation. She nods and I can't help the smile that comes over my face as I take her bag to my room. And tell the others where their rooms are. Once that's settled we all find our way into the living room, and I mean all of us. Lydia is sitting next to me on the couch, with Lando and Bianca on the other side of her. Jeremy is sitting on a recliner with Morgan sitting at his feet. Max and Kelly are also sitting on the floor and Arthur and Ezra have barstools from the kitchen and are sitting behind the couch.

"So now that everyone is here will you tell us what happened?" I ask and before Lydia can respond I hear a faint yelling of my name and realize that Francesca is still on the phone. I apologize to her for forgetting she was on the line to which she only laughed and said it was fine. Then asked to be put on speaker. Lydia looks to me confused and I realize she has no idea who Francesca is.

"Fran is head of my PR." I explain and Francesca speaks up.

"I think that we need to make a statement about what happened since the story got picked up and articles are already coming out with speculations. As long as you're okay with making a statement, that is. If you're not okay with it then we won't." She explains and Lydia nods as she listens.

"Well I'll tell you everything that happened and then we can decide what the best course of action is." Lydia tells Francesca who agrees.

"Okay so when I got to the police station they took my statement which was of course corroborated by the security guards. The girl on the other hand tried to say it was self defense because I was "threatening her". Luckily the cops didn't believe her. I guess she ended up getting frustrated that no one believed her that she started ranting. Come to find out she only approached Charles to try to get me to fight her. She is apparently the ex-girlfriend of Ezra's dad who I haven't seen or talked to since I was 14, by the way. I guess she was angry that he talked about me or something and has been constantly looking for me on social media. She found me on Instagram and saw I was going to be at ACL and decided it was the perfect time to find me and I guess try to get me arrested? I literally have no idea. That's not even the craziest part. The craziest part is she waited for us at the airport to land, found us getting into our Uber and followed us to our airbnb so she knew where we were staying. She was stalking me and I had no idea." She says and everyone's in complete shock by the news because it was not what we were expecting at all.

"Please tell me you got a restraining order and pressed charges against her." I whisper, trying to reign in my anger over this whole situation.

"I did. The restraining order was immediately approved and she was booked into county jail. At least until she either posts bail or has her court hearing which will be next month." She says as she grabs my hand and squeezes.

"The police recommended that we leave the airbnb though since she knew where I was and they weren't sure if she had anyone helping her like the girl she was with yesterday." She adds and once again, I'm glad that she's here.

"I'll pay you back for the airbnb by the way, Jer." She says offhandedly and I frown.

"Absolutely not, I'll pay it." I say to which she frowns and shakes her head no.

"It's not necessary. I have it covered, it's not a big deal." Jeremy says with obvious annoyance. It makes me happy that Lydia has people in her life that will be there to support her.

"Have you tried to call Ezra's dad to talk to him about her?" Kelly asks and I'm also interested to know.

"No. I have no desire to contact him unless Ez wants to." She replies and turns to Ezra who is sitting behind her to see what he might want to do.

"f*ck no I don't want to!" He says with absolute anger and I can't help but smile.

"Language!!" Lydia scolds and it makes everyone laugh.

"Oh come on Mama. We've been over this, I'm almost 16!" He whines which makes everyone laugh even more.

"So Lydia, Charles. What do you think we should do? Do you want to make a statement? So far the public seem to be rallying behind you and releasing this information will solidify that. But if you want it to remain private I totally understand that." Francesca says into the phone and Lydia turns to look at me.

"What do you think we should do?" She asks.

"It's your decision mon soleil. I will support whatever you choose." I reply, wrapping my hand possessively around her neck.

"I think we should make a statement. We confirm that there was an altercation that led to an assault. That charges have been made and a protective order was approved. We'll ask for privacy while we deal with it and then thank everyone for their love and support." She says and I can't help but smile at how she's handling this.

"That sounds perfect. Exactly what I was thinking. We don't want too many details out there for your safety but just enough to show the severity of what happened. I'll come up with statements for each of you and send them over shortly so you can post them." Francesca says quickly and then hangs up a moment later.

"I can make my own statement. You don't need to have your team doing work for me." Lydia turns to me with furrowed brows and damn do I love this girl.

"Mon soleil, they are my PR team for all aspects of my life, and you're apart of my life so you fall under that umbrella. They agreed when I hired them that they would work for the both of us." I confess and she looks even more confused.

"We were broken up when you hired them..." she says with a frown and I can't help but smile because she's just so adorable.

"Yes, we were. But I was planning for the future, for when I won you back. I haven't quite done it yet but in the meantime they are still your team too." I tell her as she bites her lip and looks at me like she used to. My co*ck jumps to attention at her expression but I have to remind myself that won't be happening anytime soon.

Discussion around the room has now changed course for the most part and things seem to be getting back to normal and not as tense. Lydia turns to me with a smile and I look at her questioningly.

"I told you it wasn't your fault, LP. She actually had no idea who you even were." She giggles and bumps her shoulder against mine and I can't believe she's making jokes right now.

"It's not funny Lydia. You were being stalked! You're lucky she didn't try anything worse!" I snap, shouting in frustration at her as I stand up abruptly and go to leave the room needing to go cool down. Lydia's face as I walk away from her kills me, she looks so scared. Like she thinks I won't be back, like I'll abandon her over this and my heart clenches tightly in my chest. I really shouldn't walk away but I'm afraid if I stay in this room, I will say things I regret and that seems much worse. Without another word I walk out of the room.

"Don't. I'll check on him." I hear Arthur say to the room as he follows me. I'm not sure who he was telling that to since I had my back turned and I don't really care at the moment. I don't want to talk to anyone right now but I don't think I have a choice.

When I get to my room, I immediately sit on the bed and put my head in my hands and the tears I was holding in start flowing from my eyes. A second later Arthur is entering the room and shutting the door behind him. He takes a seat next to me and wraps his arms around me in comfort as I cry into his shoulder.

"Nothing can happen to her Arthur. I can't take anymore losses. I won't survive if I lose her." I choke out in panic as I think back on losing my papa and then Jules in the span of a few years. Even thinking about Lydia being hurt or worse makes me crazy.

"She's okay Char. She's safe. She's here. Try to calm your breathing." Arthur whispers gently, and then he asks me to breath with him. Eventually my panic calms down and I wipe my tears.

"She's okay. She's safe. She's here." I repeat over and over until I'm fully under control with my emotions. I haven't had a panic attack like that for years. It wasn't a full blown one but enough of one to make me suddenly exhausted.

"Why don't you lay down for awhile? I know you didn't sleep well last night and after hearing everything we just did I'm sure you could use a nap." Arthur suggests and I realize how tired I actually am. After we got back last night I stayed up late talking to Arthur, Max and Lando about the whole day and every single detail that happened with Lydia though out the day. And of course we went into detail about the assault. I stressed myself out thinking it was my fault when just like Lydia said, it was the girls fault that it happened not mine.

"That actually sounds perfect. It's been a crazy 24 hours." I tell him and he nods in agreement before walking out the door and closing it behind him. It doesn't take me long to fall asleep.

Chapter 37: Ruin My Life

Chapter Text

"sh*t, I just f*cked up, didn't I?" I ask my group of friends and all of them nod at my question. A resounding yes all around and now I feel awful for joking about what happened. I should have known better, especially with Charles. I shut my eyes tightly to try to keep the tears that I feel coming at bay.

"I really don't think you understand how much you truly mean to him, Lydia. How badly it would destroy him if something were to happen to you." Max tells me, always the one to tell the blunt truth and I flinch as I realize how stupid I am. He's already lost so much in life, and even though I'm here and fine, his mind went immediately to the worse case scenario. If I were him, I'd do the same. In a way we are the same. We both have trauma filled pasts and we both feel abandoned but for different reasons entirely. And although I don't know exactly how he feels about me, I know he truly cares about me and wants me safe.

"I need to go talk to him." I announce, standing abruptly and turning to go to him. Arthur walks out then, meeting me near the hallway and stops me.

"He's taking a nap Lydia. You need to wait to talk to him." He tells me, his tone sounding disappointed in me and I don't blame him. I silently nod my head letting him know I won't bother Charles even though all I want to do is apologize to him.

For the next hour the girls start getting ready for day two of the festival. I can't get ready because my things are in Charles' room so I'm just watching them get ready and gossip. Morgan is telling us about how Tyler won't leave her alone and has now resorted to talking to her through a shared note they have through their phones since she blocked him on everything else. I'm distracted though and feel like an awful friend, to both Morgan and Charles.

"Babe, why don't you go see if he's awake. Stop torturing yourself." Morgan tells me, causing me to shake my thoughts away. I turn my attention to her and she's looking at me with no anger or annoyance that I haven't been paying attention for the last thirty minutes.

"Are you sure?" I ask, because if she tells me she needs me I will stay and she knows that by the expression she gives me.

"I'm positive. B and Kelly are here. Go check on your man." She tells me with a wink and I can't help but blush as I smile at her saying 'your man'. Is he my man? Do I want him to be my man? Absolutely. But it's going to take us some time to get to that point again. I stand from my spot on Morgan's floor and head out the door and down the hall to Charles' room. I knock lightly on the door but there's no answer and I frown. Opening the door, I see him still sleeping and I can't help but stare at him. He's beautiful and looks so at peace while he sleeps.

Trying not to wake him up, I crawl into the bed with him and curl up beside him. I rest my head on his shoulder near the crook of his neck and rest my hand on his chest, as my fingers trace gently over his heart. The feeling of being close to him again is overwhelming and I realize in this moment, how much I've truly missed him. I've missed the simple moments when it's just us two. The laughs, the deep conversations, the plans we made, the sex but most of all I just miss existing with him, doing mundane things with him and being perfectly content. As I lay there with him, I think back on our little time we had together and how I had never been as truly happy as I was then, besides the day that Ezra was born, before all of the stress and complications of being a single teen mom started.

"What are you thinking about mon soleil?" I hear Charles whisper and I startle, not realizing that he had woken up as I was cuddling him. I go to move away from him, but he catches my hand and holds me firmly against him, and pulls me closer.

"You're not going anywhere. I've missed this." He whispers, as he places a soft kiss to my forehead and butterflies fill my stomach. After a few moments Charles asks his question again and I contemplate how I should answer him.

"I was thinking about how I owe you an apology." I say instead of what I was just thinking. As I turn my gaze to his and stare into those beautiful jade green eyes of his he stares right back with a frown.

"I'm sorry for making the joke I made earlier. I deal with stressful and scary things with inappropriate humor, I always have. It's my way of trying to make light of certain situations that would otherwise destroy me mentally. I should have realized it would have been a trigger for you though, I'm so sorry LP." I tell him and I have to look away so I don't get upset by his response, fearing he's not going to be able to forgive me for being so cruel.

"Mon soleil..." he says, trying to coax me to look at him, but I don't.

"Lydia, please look at me." He whispers and I turn to look at him, knowing he's serious since he called me Lydia. His fingers grab my chin and keeps me where he wants me. The expression on his face is full of understanding and I relax a fraction.

"I may have overreacted a little bit, but the thought of anyone hurting one hair on your head drives me mad. If she would have done something more to you, I don't know what I would have done. I'm having a hard enough time not going down to the police station and having words with her." He tells me with such intensity that I can't help but lean forward and press my lips lightly to his.

He instantly pulls me closer to him and deepens the kiss and I can't help but moan as I feel all of him against me. His teeth nip at my lip and I have to pull away before we go any further. We definitely need to have a conversation about what's going to happen with us because I don't want to rush into anything with him. He whines when I pull away, and it's honestly the cutest thing ever but I disentangle myself from him and stand from the bed and walk across the room, trying to catch my breath. When I turn back to him, he's still laying in the bed. His arms are folding behind his head and he's grinning wickedly at me and I have to bite my lip because he just looks so f*cking cute. We really need to figure out what we're doing before we take anything further, we're both getting caught up in this time together and we haven't talked much about us or what we want from one another.

"Charles, I think we need to have a discussion about us." I tell him seriously, and his grin falls from his face, worry flashes across his face before he sits up and nods in agreement. Before I can continue the conversation though, there's a knock on the door. Charles asks who it is and Max responds and then opens the door. He looks between the two of us curiously.

"Are you guys ready to go? Our car is only 5 minutes away." He tells us and I look down at myself, and laugh.

"Does it look like I'm ready Max?" I ask with a blank look and he turns to look at me and frowns like he doesn't understand that I haven't even gotten ready yet.

"You look great." He replies with confusion and I laugh.

"You do, mon soleil. But no, Max. We aren't ready yet. We'll catch up with you guys later, okay?" Charles responds and Max nods his head in understanding and then walks out the door shouting he'll see us later.

"Should we get ready, or should we talk first?" Charles asks a moment later, after we hear our friends pile out of the house with catcalls, shouts of goodbye, and one comment from Ezra about making sure we use a condom. I couldn't help but laugh at that one.

"We can probably do both at the same time." I reply as I walk to my bag and grab my makeup from the top of it, and head into the bathroom. Charles follows behind me a moment later and leans against the sink beside me. Grabbing my skincare I start putting it on so I can then start on my makeup.

"So what do you want to discuss, mon soleil?" He asks me as he watches me carefully while I put on my moisturizer, he then silently holds out his hand for me to give him some too. I smile at him as I remember back at all the times we've done this in the past. He turns to the mirror then, and we stare at each other through the reflection.

"I guess I want to know what your intentions are and what you want for this to be between us..." I reply as I grab my next product, sunscreen. I put a dollop in both of our hands and look back in the mirror to see him staring at me with that look, the one he's been looking at me with this whole weekend. The one where it almost looks like he's in love with me.

"My intentions are to get you back. For us to go back to how things were before we left Monaco." He tells me, and turns to face me now. He grabs my hands and forces me to turn to look at him too and I know what he's about to tell me next will change everything. The determination on his face is something I've never seen before.

"I need you to hear me when I say this mon soleil, okay?" He asks and I nod silently.

"I love you. I'm in love with you. I have been ever since Sardinia, before you even decided to give me a second chance after Hungary. I know you probably don't believe me, and I know that I've broken your trust. But I swear on my Papa and Jules that I will work everyday from now until forever to prove how much I love you, how much I want you and need you in my life." He tells me as he wraps one of his hands around my neck and his fingers tangle into my hair. Tears prick my eyes as I process his words. Do I believe him? Yes. I can see it written all over his face. He loves me. It's everything I've wanted to hear from him for weeks and I'm so happy that he feels the same as I do, but I'm f*cking terrified. The trust I had for him once is not fully there anymore.

"I believe you. And I'm in love with you too, Charles." I whisper as I try to keep my emotions in check.

"But..." He says in a whisper and my heart surges in my chest.

"But, I need time to work through my trust issues when it comes to you."

"Okay, I understand that. So what does that mean?"

"It means that we need to take things slow. Start over, and work on our foundation. Do you realize that we never were really friends? We just jumped from meeting one another to being in a relationship in the span of seeing each other a handful of times."

"So you want start from scratch? Just be friends?" He asks with an incredulous laugh and I turn away from him realizing how stupid I am for thinking he'll be able to agree to that.

"Just forget it." I murmur, trying hard to not let my tears fall from my eyes. I'm about to apply my concealer when Charles grabs my face and forces me to look at him once more. My glistening eyes are making him fuzzy in my vision and he still just looks confused. I advert my eyes from his and try to turn my face away from him but he won't let me.

"Lydia...will you please look at me?" He asks on a whisper but I can't, otherwise my tears will fall. I shake my head no and I hear him sigh deeply. He loosens his grip on my face and once again tangles his hand into my hair.

"Mon soleil, I will do anything you want me to. But I don't think we can be just friends. When we're together it's magnetic, it's like we can't keep our hands off one another. I don't want to keep my hands off you, and I don't think you want that either." He says and I can't help but agree with him. It's true. When we're together, we gravitate to one another. It's like we can't stay away. I look at him then and realize he wasn't laughing about us being friends, just that it would be nearly impossible for us.

"You're right. I guess friends isn't the right word." I tell him to which makes him smile.

"You're my girlfriend." He says and I shake my head no which makes him narrow his eyes at me.

"Describe what you want and then we'll figure out the correct label then, I guarantee you 'girlfriend' will be the correct one." He suggests with the roll of his eyes and I can't help but laugh.

"Well with you travelling so much it's not like we'll be seeing each other a lot. But I want to be able to talk to you anytime I want and publicly support you. When we are together I wouldn't mind being affectionate like holding hands, cuddling, and kissing. I don't think we should have sex or go beyond kissing though. I would want us to be exclusive and I don't want to hide that we are "together" to the public."

"So basically we would be boyfriend and girlfriend but we just wouldn't be having sex?" He asks with a smirk, and I take a second to think about what I just told him and then nod in agreement because that's basically what I said.

"And how long would the no sex thing go on for?" He asks seductively, as he wraps his hand deeper into my hair and yanks lightly. I can't help but moan slightly, and clench my legs together. Asshole.

"Indefinitely." I whisper. "At least until I learn to trust you again. Sex complicates things and I don't want to be influenced by your penis." I continue as I bite my lip.

"Hmm. Well then I guess I better work hard on gaining your trust back." He replies with a confident smile and I can't help but hope he's right.

"Stop looking at me like that." He whispers, staring down at my mouth.

"Like what?" I whisper back.

"Like you want me to rip your clothes off right now." He says and I clench my legs together again. I turn away from him, and his grip on my hair loosens and I clear my throat. I look up at him through the mirror and see him re-adjusting his pants and I can't help but stare. He must catch me because the next thing I know he's whispering in my ear.

"This is going to be torture. But I'll do this happily for you because I love you." His words cause me to shiver.

"I love you too, LP." I whisper, as I turn to face him. Our lips only a fraction apart now. Before I can say another word, Charles' lips are on mine and we both melt into each other, only for a few moments before we break apart. Both of us are breathing heavy and our eyes are full of want for the other. This is either going to be the worst idea or the best idea that I've had. I have a feeling it's going to just be us torturing each other.

"You need to leave, so I can finish getting ready. We should probably leave soon." I say as I push him gently away from me. He bites his lip with a smile as he backs out of the bathroom and into the bedroom. I shut the door and lock it so he can't get back in, needing some space from him so I don't try to jump him. Turning back to the mirror, I can't help but stare at my reflection. I haven't looked this happy since Monaco. The smile on my face is absolutely ridiculous but I don't care. Charles Leclerc loves me, is in love with me. What is this life? It's utterly insane. Snapping out of it, I quickly work on putting on my makeup in record time since we are running late. Next I make two small braids in the front sections of my hair and then put half of my hair up in a messy bun.

When I open the door, I come face to face with Charles who is looking very handsome in grey jeans, and a black and white Ferrari shirt. He smirks as he realizes I'm checking him out and I also realize that he has his phone to his ear having a phone call with someone.

"Email them to me and we will make our posts after we read through them." He says and I realize he must be talking to Francesca. I step beside him to get past and graze his free hand as I do. He smiles and watches me walk to my suitcase and I start sorting through my clothes to find my outfit for today. As he continues his phone call I decide on a faded black jean mini skirt with a small slit and button accents going up and down on one side. For my top I choose my Gucci 'Sine Amore Nihil' teeshirt in white with red trim. I'm obsessed with the little mushroom that's on it. I plan on finishing off the look with my black cowboy boots, my typical jewelry and my raybans.

I decide to just get changed in the bedroom, which was probably a mistake in retrospect but oh well. I pull off my oversized tee shirt that I put on this morning. There was no need for a bra so I'm fully topless. A second after I throw the shirt on the ground, I hear Charles stutter and I can't help but grin to myself.

"Francesca, I have to go. Just email them over as soon as possible." He snaps and then I assume hangs up the phone. I don't hear him take a step towards me though, so I only assume he's just staring from across the room. I bend down and grab my lacey red bra that I've decided to wear and wrap it around my waist. Before I can clasp it myself, Charles hands are taking over and I can't help but chuckle under my breath.

"Are you trying to torture me? I'm going to be imagining you in only this red bra all day." He whispers as he trails his fingertips along my back. Goosebumps erupt over my skin and I squeeze my eyes tight to keep from doing something stupid. I turn towards him with a smile and lean forward to give him a quick kiss.

"Torture can be fun, you know." I whisper, as I bend down in front of him. He stares down at my like I've lost my mind and I can't help but laugh when I stand up again holding my shirt in my hands. With a wink, I pull the shirt over my head. It looks like he's about to say something when his phone dings with a notification and distracts him. While he's distracted I take the opportunity to finish getting dressed and quickly put my skirt on without torturing Charles even more than I already have. I'm just slipping on my boots when Charles turns back to me.

"You should have gotten an email with your statement from my team, if you want to read it over and make sure that it's okay. Then we can make a post before we leave." He tells me and I silently nod, grabbing my phone that's sitting next to me.

I read through what his team sent for me and for the most part it's good. I do change some of the wording to sound more like me and type out the post to add to my stories. Charles asks me if I've ready to post and I say yes. Then we press post together.

Chapter 38: You & Me

Chapter Text

Charles' POV

We make our posts together right before our car arrives to pick us up for day two of ACL. Both of us pressing post at the same time like a team, like how I should have handled our relationship the first time around. We should have handled the backlash together back then but I stupidly trusted the wrong people. I lock my phone and turn to look at Lydia who looks completely relaxed and not nervous at all about what people will think or do with this new information we are giving them.

I shouldn't be surprised, she's so damn strong. I should have believed her those months ago when everything went down. She promised me she could handle it, and she was right. It was me who couldn't, or at least I let my team convince me of that. I was so stupid. If I could go back in time and change what happened I would in a heartbeat. Losing her was the worst thing to happen to me in a long time.

"What?" She asks me once she notices me staring at her. I grab her hand and bring it to my mouth and place a kiss on top of her hand, just needing to touch her in anyway possible.

"Just thinking about how stupid I was. How we could have avoided so much time apart if I had just been brave and not influenced by my team." I reply sadly, hating that she had to leave Italy, had to leave Ezra because of me.

"You were extremely stupid. I'm glad you realize it. But I'm glad it happened." She tells me and I frown. How can she be glad? I basically ruined her life, having her have to move back to the states and leave Ez. She must sense my confusion because she continues.

"Don't get me wrong, when everything initially happened I was angry and sad. But after leaving to San Diego and meeting Jer, Mor and B it ended up being one of the best things to happen to me. I found more family, something that I was holding back on finding for so long. Yeah, I didn't have you and I thought I never would but I had gained something else that helped fill a void. Of course I missed Ez but I knew it was only for a short time..."

"What do you mean a short time?" I interrupt because what is she talking about? Is she coming back to Italy?

"I'm moving to Austria with Jer in January..." She replies and my heart does something funny in my chest. She's moving back to Europe? In only a few months? How did I not know this? Why did no one tell me?

"Why do you look so shocked? I thought you knew I was going to be back in Europe..." She says and I shake my head no, but I am so f*cking happy and I can't help the smile that comes over my face as I stare at her, wanting so badly to kiss her.

"I had no idea, no one told me and you haven't said anything about it." I tell her and she nods slowly in understanding while looking like she's concentrating hard on something and I start to get worried. Why does she look concerned? I squeeze her hand and she looks up at me with obvious emotion in her eyes.

"So you still wanted to working things out between us even though you thought I was going to be in the US?" She asks and I look at her like she's crazy. Is she serious?

"Of course mon soleil. I've told you, I would do anything for you." I whisper, trying to convey to her how much she means to me.

"I wasn't going to tell you yet but I was having my team look at houses in San Diego that I could buy or rent after the racing season was done so I could be close to you." I tell her and her expression changes to one of complete love and it makes my stomach dip. God, she's so beautiful. I stare into her eyes and I wish I knew what she was thinking in this moment.

"I'm so in love with you, and it's terrifying." She whispers and my heart slightly cracks as I hear the fear in her voice. I wish I could reassure her, make her understand that I won't be letting her go this time. That I will not be f*cking up again and that she's it for me. It makes me even more determined to make her realize I'm not going to hurt her again. All I can do is show her. Show her how much I want her, how much I need her, how I never want to let her go, how I regret ever letting her go in the first place.

"I know you're terrified mon soleil, but I will show you everyday how you don't need to be. I love you and I'm yours for as long as you want me." I tell her and I can't hold back anymore. I yank her arm gently towards me so her face lines up with mine and then I kiss her.

I can't help but immediately deepen it because I've been absolutely aching for her touch and if kissing is all she'll give me right now, I'm going to try to take a little bit of advantage. She moans gently against my mouth and the sound makes my co*ck twitch in my pants. I have to remind myself to calm down as she nips on my bottom lip and I can't help the groan that comes from my mouth. We're both in a daze until we hear a mouth clear which makes us pull apart abruptly. My phone vibrates with a notification and it's from our driver telling me he's here. I grab her hand and lead her to the car and within a couple of minutes we're on our way to the festival.

When the driver drops us off 10 minutes later, I quickly thank the him and close the door and then we take off to the entrance of the festival hand in hand. Lydia looks between our intertwined hands and me a few times before I tell her to relax which she finally does after a couple of minutes of us walking together. We eventually find the rest of our friends in one of the VIP areas we didn't venture to yesterday. This one is under a large grove of oak trees with picnic tables and an outdoor bar.

"Do you want something to drink?" I ask Lydia as we step closer to our friends who are taking over two picnic tables.

"I'm not drinking alcohol today but I'll take a Red Bull and a water." She replies and I narrow my eyes teasingly at her which makes her laugh. She thinks she's being funny by asking for a Red Bull, thinking I won't do it, like she doesn't already know I don't secretly drink Red Bull. I lean forward and kiss her before walking off towards the bar to get our drinks. As I walk away I hear cat calls from our friends and Lydia laughing as she takes a seat next to Morgan, Kelly and Bianca. I can't help but smile broadly, I'm just so happy. When I make it to the bar I order two Red Bulls and two waters which the bartender quickly starts working on.

"So are you two officially back together already?" Max suddenly asks me making me jump slightly. I turn to face him and see that he, Lando, Arthur, and Ezra are now standing in front of me staring intently at me. The bartender chooses that time to deliver the drinks I ordered so I can't reply to Max. I hand over my card for he bartender to pay and once the transaction is over I turn back towards the boys with a grin.

"Technically? No, but yes." I respond as I grab the Red Bulls and put them in my back pockets, then grab the waters. All of the boys stare blankly at me and I realize they are waiting for me to expand on my answer.

"She told me she wants to be friends. But friends who hold hands, kiss and cuddle and who are exclusive." I explain with a lightly chuckle. She was so cute while explaining what she wanted.

"That sounds like she wants to be boyfriend and girlfriend." Ezra comments and I can't help the smile that comes over my face because he's not wrong.

"I would say that it's more like friends with benefits." Lando responds, countering Ezra's comment.

"I suppose so, but there's not much benefiting that's going to be happening anytime soon besides holding hands, kissing and some cuddles." I comment as I start walking back towards the picnic tables. I hear the boys make confused sounds as I walk away.

"Wait! What does that mean?" Arthur hisses in whisper, stopping me so I turn back towards them. I look towards Ezra and give him a sympathetic smile before answering.

"It means that sex is off the table for now." I tell them and wait for the questions that I'm sure are to come.

"You seem completely fine with that." Lando responds and I furrow my brows because why does he seem surprised by that?

"Of course I'm fine with it. Why wouldn't I be? I love her. If she wants to hold off on that aspect of our relationship until she trusts me again then I will do that for her with no complaint or pressure. When I say I will do anything for her to be back in my life forever, I mean it. I'd be a fool to not take what she's offering me, which is much more than I ever expected to get."

All of the boys stare at me with different expressions of approval. Ezra looking the most happy of them all by what I just said and I'm glad that he maybe is starting to see how much his mother truly means to me and how seriously I am in my endeavor to making her mine forever. I ask them if any of them have any questions or comments to which they laugh and say no. With that, I turn back around and head back to my girl with the boys following closely behind.

As I approach the table, Lydia, Morgan, Kelly, Bianca and Jeremy all turn their gazes towards us, specifically me as we approach. My eyes are fully locked on Lydia though as I hand her the water. She has a mischievous glint in her eye as she's about to open her mouth to ask where the Red Bull is. I know she is. At that moment I grab it from my back pocket and hold it out to her which makes us both laugh. Everyone around us is confused about our exchange but I ignore them. Instead I whip out the second Red Bull and raise my eye brows at Lydia as I sit down across the picnic table from her. Without a word I crack open my can and take a drink.

"Woah, wait. Are you drinking a Red Bull? In public?!" Max exclaims with excitement and I can't help but roll my eyes. It causes the whole group to laugh.

"Francesca is going to be upset with you LP." Lydia says as she smirks at me.

"f*ck it. I now have a valid excuse as to why I'm drinking it." I reply with a wink.

"And what's that?" She asks seductively and I shake my head at her with a light chuckle.

"My girlfriend works for Red Bull."

"Ughh is this how they always are? It's so disgustingly adorable, I can't handle it!" Morgan states dramatically, feigning utter disgust with us although she's wearing a huge smile on her face.

"It was bad before but seems worse now." Ezra says with a grumble, even though he also is wearing a huge smile on his face as well.

The whole group laughs including Lydia and I. Luckily the conversation shifts away from us and onto the festival and what are plans are for the rest of the weekend. As we're discussing who we want to see, Lydia suddenly gasps and everyone turns to her questioningly.

"Mon soleil? What's the matter?" I ask with worry, reaching across the table to grab her hand. Her eyes find mine and they are wide with panic and I start getting more worried.

"Your birthday is on Monday!" She shouts and I instantly relax now that I know it's nothing seriously that's causing her panic. I swear this girl is going to give me a heart attack though.

"So?" I respond not understanding her panic.

"So, we don't have anything planned! Oh my god we need to do something!" She exclaims as she pulls her hand out of mine and grabs her phone. I have no clue what she's doing and I look around the table to see if anyone else knows what's going on.

"Lydia, please don't worry about my birthday. It's not a big deal. Put your phone away and let's go enjoy the festival." I tell her which makes her roll her eyes at me.

"I don't have anyone I'm dying to see until Noah Kahan and The 1975 tonight. You go enjoy the festival with everyone else. I think I'm actually going to head back to the airbnb for a little bit so I can use my laptop instead of my phone. I'll be back before Noah plays, I promise." She tells me and I frown. I really don't want her to leave, especially if she's leaving to go plan something for my birthday. Maybe she'll let me go with her though, I'm about to offer to go back with her but she cuts me off.

"No, you're staying here. You need to have some fun." She tells me.

"I'll go back with her." Kelly offers with a smile, and as much as I want to argue I don't. At least she won't be going back to the airbnb alone.

A few minutes later, Lydia and Kelly are walking away from the group arm in arm laughing at something. I'm standing next to Max and Lando watching them. My stomach is in knots and I hate how anxious I am by not having Lydia by my side but after what happened last night I'm worried about her.

"I think I'm going to have to hire security for her." I say off handedly and both Max and Lando turn to look at me with their brows furrowed.

"I'm not sure that's necessary, Charles." Lando replies.

"I agree. That seems a bit excessive and I know for a fact that she would absolutely hate it." Max adds and I frown. They are right, but I'm not sure how to deal with my anxiety and once next weekend is over, I won't be around to protect her.

"What am I supposed to do? I'm going to be spending all of my time worrying about her." I reply, running my hands through my hair.

"She'll be with me, Charles. Nothing will happen to her, I promise." Jeremy says, startling me because I hadn't realized he was close enough to hear our conversation. For a moment I forgot that Lydia had Jeremy. I thought I was going to come into this weekend hating the man, and completely jealous of him. Don't get me wrong, I am jealous that he gets to spend time with Lydia every single day but I realize now that they truly are like family and nothing more. Besides, I'm pretty sure he wants Morgan so my worries are long gone now about him and Lydia.

"Thanks man. I'm honestly relieved and happy that Lydia has you." I tell him with complete honesty and he smiles.

For the next few minutes while we walk to the main stage, I talk more with Jeremy about what security measures we can add without Lydia getting upset. He agrees to add more security cameras. Luckily they already have each others locations so if Lydia has her phone or watch, then she can be tracked. It makes me feel better about being away from her. Jeremy and I exchange numbers with promises to keep in touch over the next few months until they are in Europe. With the talk of Europe, Jeremy's attitude shifts and he gets quieter.

"Please don't tell me you're having second thoughts about moving to Austria." I say, glancing at him as we walk. He turns his gaze to me and shakes his head.

"No, we'll be leaving San Diego in January. There's just a lot on my mind. Leaving won't be easy." He tells me and I nod. Of course it won't be, his daughter is going to college in San Diego. Morgan is supposed to be staying, although now that her and her boyfriend aren't together anymore, that could change if she wanted it to. What would that mean for Lydia though?

"Bianca and I have never been apart so this will be a big change for us. And Morgan..." He continues and trails off...

"What's going on with you and Morgan? I was getting some vibes yesterday and this morning from the two of you." I ask with curiosity. Jeremy looks over to me and chuckles lightly.

"I've been in love with her for awhile but she had a boyfriend. Since she found out he cheated on her though, things between us have been weird. Almost like she's seeing me for the first time as something...I'm trying not to get my hopes up. Especially since I'll be in Austria shortly." He tells me and I nod.

"And if she wanted to come with you? To Austria? And continue working for you..." I ask, trying to get a read on whether or not he would want that and what that would mean for Lydia. My stomach is in knots thinking that she might lose her job and then what?

"If she asked to come to Austria, I wouldn't say no. Unfortunately, I have no need for two assistants so I don't know what we would do." He tells me and I frown. That's what I suspected.

"Don't worry Charles. Lydia won't lose her job." He tells me and I feel my cheeks get a little hot with embarrassment that he knows my reason for my line of questioning.

"Sorry man, you seem stressed about this and I'm being completely selfish." I apologize and Jeremy smiles before shaking his head.

"I get it. If I was in your shoes I would be thinking the same thing. There's nothing to worry about though because Morgan hasn't even brought up Austria. f*ck, she might still get back with her boyfriend for all I know." He says with a frown and I clap his back.

"She won't. I saw the way she was looking at you yesterday and today, and literally right now." I tell him, and he glances at me with furrowed brows. I tilt my head to where Morgan is staring at us, or mainly at Jeremy. She's pretending to listen to Bianca and Lando's conversation but she's failing miserably. Jeremy follows my gaze and I watch as he smiles broadly at her.

"Good luck, man." I tell him with a laugh as he walks away from me towards her and I go to find Max, Arthur and Ezra so we can go watch some band that Ezra wanted to check out at one of the side stages.

Chapter 39: I'm In Love With You

Chapter Text

Lydia's POV

The whole afternoon Kelly and I have been working hard on planning a birthday party for Charles. I know it's probably crazy that I'm working so hard on this for him when only two days ago I hadn't talked to him in weeks. The past two days have been insane and honestly it might be a mistake that I decided to give Charles another chance, but my heart is telling me it's the right thing to do.

"So we have the place, time and theme figured out. Since we decided to make it sort of a surprise I'm assuming you'll want to go to dinner just you two while we set up and have everyone get here to surprise Charles?" Kelly asks me as she's going over the list we made when we first arrived back at the airbnb of things we needed to figure out.

We were able to get permission by the airbnb host to have a party for around 30 people. We have to pay an extra fee but I was willing to do that because I want Ezra to be able to celebrate with us and if we were to go to a club he wouldn't be able to. We decided to have the party start around 10, so going out to dinner with Charles is a good idea so everyone can get to the house and there will be time to decorate. We decided on a rave theme and Lando texted me back only a few minutes ago saying he would love to DJ.

"Just us two. I'll make the reservations." I reply as I pull up restaurants in Austin near the club on my phone.

"We will need to get decorations, booze and some food as well but that can happen Monday." Kelly adds as she starts writing down a list of what we need to purchase.

"Do we have a head count yet? I want to order a cake and I need to know how big of one I need to get." I ask as I scroll through the list of restaurants. My finger chooses one called Jeffrey's that looks delicious and has good ratings and I quickly make a reservation for 8:00pm and look up at Kelly.

"I've heard back from Pierre & Kika, Alex & Lily, George & Carmen, Daniel & Heidi, Esteban & Carlos. They all said they would be there." She tells me and I can't help but smile. I'm surprised that they all agreed so short notice but then again I shouldn't be surprised. They all love Charles.

"Awesome! What about Joris & Charlotte? Lorenzo & Charlotte? Andrea?" I ask with curiosity.

"I haven't heard from them. It might have been better if you had messaged them." She says and I nod absentmindedly. She's probably right, since they don't really know her. They also don't really know me though either.

Kelly excuses herself a few minutes later to call Penelope and I decide to message them to let them know about the party. If they respond that's great, if not that's fine too. In the meantime I place the order for a cake big enough for at least 30 people. Most likely it won't all get ate, but that's fine. I mainly want it so Charles can make his wish. Once the cake is ordered I feel much better about his birthday. I still need to find an outfit for it but at least I got the hard parts complete. I'm thinking I might skip ACL tomorrow since I don't really care about seeing anyone playing.

As I contemplate on whether or not I'll be going to the festival tomorrow I decide to pull up Instagram. I haven't checked it since Charles and I made our posts this morning. There are a lot of notifications and messages. I quickly read through some of them and surprisingly they are all pretty supportive and nice. There are a lot of well wishes and questions, the main one being whether or not Charles and I are together. I think I may have to do a question/answer time soon based on how many people are curious about everything. I'll have to discuss it with Charles to see what he wants to do.

I'm still scrolling through messages when a new text message comes in. I quickly open it and see that it's Joris responding to my earlier message letting me know he, Charlotte, Andrea and a few other people on Charles team would love to come to the party. I respond happily with the theme, time and address and a promise to see them in a couple of days. Now I just need to hear from Lorenzo and we'll be great. I wonder if Pascale is going to be in town for this Grand Prix and if I should invite her. Opening up my texts, I pull up Arthur's contact information and shoot him a text asking if his mom will be in town, to which he replies that she will be, but not until Saturday. My stomach drops when I realize I'll have to see her again but at least I still have a week to prepare for when that time comes.

Kelly eventually comes back out to where I'm sitting in the living room and we decide that it's time to head back to the festival. I'm surprised I haven't heard from Charles asking where we are but I guess that means he's having a good time and I'm thankful for that. He deserves it. As we call our car, my phone vibrates with a notification and I see it's from Lorenzo saying that he and Charlotte will be at the party as well. He also mentions how happy he is to hear from me which makes me feel good. At least I have the approval of Charles' brothers, unlike his mother.

"Everything okay?" Kelly asks me as we climb into the car.

"Yeah. I just found out that Pascale will be at the GP this weekend. I'm not sure how to feel about it after everything that happened." I tell her.

"You think she'll act the same way?" Kelly asks and I frown.

"I think she'll act worse honestly. I'm sure in her mind I'm the one who screwed things up and that I broke Charles' heart by leaving. And once she finds out we're back together I'm sure she'll be livid."

"You need to talk to Charles about this. It's important that you two communicate this time around."

"I'm not the one who is bad at communicating, Kell. But you're right. There's a lot that we still need to talk about." I reply as I stare out the window. I can't help but think about how we haven't truly talked about much beyond the fact that we want to work on things and be together. There's a lot we need to discuss though and just plain catch each other up on.

"Are you ever going to tell me how this happened so quickly by the way?" She asks and I turn to face her. There is no judgement or surprise in her expression just happiness and I can't help but smile.

"I can't fight the feeling that I'm supposed to be with him Kell. And as much as he hurt me, and as much as I don't fully trust him, I can't seem to let him go. If he wants to try to be together, I'd be stupid not to try again. I don't want to be stubborn and miss out on something that I think can be forever. I'd rather get hurt again than always wonder what could have happened." I tell her and she smiles brightly.

"I'm glad you're giving him another chance but please don't make it easy on him. He deserves a challenge after everything he's put you through. He really needs to show you, prove to you that he wants to be with you. Don't let him off easy."

"Not planning on it. I already told him sex is off the table so we will see how that goes." I laugh and I watch as her eyes widen in surprise.

"I think that will be difficult for both of you. You two have so much chemistry that I would imagine it's going to be hard to stay away from each other especially if you're still being affectionate in other ways. Good luck with that, girl." Kelly says with an incredulous look and I can't help but agree with her. It's going to be extremely hard to not have sex with him this week, especially with it being his birthday on Monday but I'm committed to waiting to add that part of our relationship back into the mix. At least until I trust him a little bit more.

"I'm definitely going to need it." I whisper just as we pull up to the festival drop off zone. Kelly laughs at my comment as we climb out of the car and walk towards the entrance of the festival. She tells me we're headed to one of the VIP areas that is just off the main stage because that's where everyone is at. Noah Kahan is about to start performing and then The 1975 goes on right after so they wanted to hang out there while we wait for them to start. We link arms as we make our way through the crowds. As we approach the VIP section we get accosted by two drunk fraternity boys who stop right in front of where we were walking.

"Where are you two gorgeous ladies headed in such a hurry?" one of the boys asks, slightly slurring his words. I roll my eyes because yuck.

"Right over there." Kelly says politely, pointing behind them at the VIP area. Both boys look over their shoulder to see where she's pointing and then turn back around to face us.

"Think we could tag along? We could have a lot of fun together." The other boy says and now I'm fully grossed out at what he's insinuating. Before either Kelly or I can respond, I see Charles and Max approaching us, both looking angry.

"Hey Kell. You guys finally made it." Max says to Kelly, just before he bends down to give her a lingering kiss. I can't help but smile at his display of dominance. I've never seen him act that way around her and it's kind of surprising. Pulling my attention away from them, I turn to see Charles standing next to me.

"Mon soleil. I've been waiting for you." He whispers as he wraps his arms around my hips and pulls me flush against him.

"Well here I am, LP." I whisper back and then I kiss him. He wastes no time in deepening the kiss and pulling me tighter against him. My body is humming and when we finally pull away from each other, I'm flush. I turn to look towards Max and Kelly and realize while doing so that the two frat boys are now nowhere to be found.

"Well it looks like our job here is done, Charles." Max says with a laugh.

"I'm disappointed they didn't stick around. I wish I could have seen their faces when they realized there was no way they would be getting our girls." Charles replies and my jaw drops as I look between the two boys.

Both seem very pleased with themselves and I can't help but turn to Kelly with shock because are they serious? She looks exactly how I felt two seconds ago after kissing Charles and I know that we're both having a tough time not completely jumping our guys. The young boys are going to be the death of us once again. Lucky for Kelly, she'll get to enjoy some sexy time with hers tonight.

"You two are ridiculous. We could have handled that ourselves without the display of possession. We're not your property." I say, feigning anger at their display now that I know it was exactly that, a display. I'll never show that I truthfully found it sexy. Without waiting for a response, I walk to the VIP section and scan my bracelet to get in. Kelly is hot on my heels and I hear both Charles and Max grumbling behind us, but I continue with my fake annoyance.

"Are you really mad?" Kelly comes up beside me with a whisper and I turn to face her making sure my hair is covering my face so the boys can't see me.

"Absolutely not. That was sexy but I'm not about to let them know that." I whisper back and Kelly smirks.

"Thank god. I'm glad you found it sexy too because hot damn I am bothered." She says while fanning herself and I can't help but laugh.

"Agreed, but let's let them think we're mad. At least for a few minutes, it will be fun." I tell her with a wink and she smiles wickedly in agreement.

We end up finding the rest of the group near the front of the VIP section. Morgan, Bianca, Jeremy and Lando are surrounding a small table full of alcohol, while Arthur and Ezra are at another table with what looks like a pizza. Kelly heads towards Arthur and Ezra's table and I try to follow when Charles grabs my hand and pulls me back towards him. Max walks passed me heading straight towards Kelly and I turn to look at Charles, schooling my expression to one of annoyance.

"Mon soleil, please don't be mad at me. I'm sorry." He whispers and brings my hand up to his mouth and kisses it gently. I melt a little bit because he's being sweet and I'm really not even mad. Not being able to fake it anymore, I bite my lip and take a step closer to him so I can whisper in his ear.

"I'm not mad. It was actually extremely sexy and turned me on." I tell him as I gently graze my teeth along his ear and gently bite the lobe as I pull away. He shivers against me and I can't help but smirk as I lean back to look at him. His eyes are dark and hooded as he stares down at me.

"You're an evil woman." He whispers and I have to bite my lip to keep the smile off my face.

"Come on, let's go find a spot to watch the show. It should be starting soon." I tell him, and then lean forward to give him a quick kiss. Before I can pull away from him though, he tangles his hand in my hair and holds me against his lips. He kisses me like we're alone and no one is watching us, it's sexy and dirty and I can't help the moan that releases from my throat as he bites my lip. We don't pull apart until we hear the crowd screaming, indicating that the show must be about to start.

When we pull apart, Charles looks very pleased and I can't help but laugh and roll my eyes. I have a feeling this week is going to be frustrating for the both of us, full of teasing and constantly trying to turn each other on. It's going to be brutal, but so much fun. I grab his hand and walk us towards the fence of the VIP section where are friends are currently standing. I go to stand next to Kelly who smirks at me as I approach.

"Shut up." I tell her before she can comment on what just happened. She laughs at me and I gently push her teasingly because based on how Max is holding her hips tightly, I know she caved immediately as well.

Charles comes up behind me then and wraps his arms around me, and rests them on the fence thoroughly caging me in. I can't help but smile as I feel him hard against me. Discreetly I move my hand behind my back and cup him. I know I said nothing more than holding hands, cuddling and kissing but I can't help it. He groans into my ear and I can't help but shiver at how sexy that was.

"Mon soleil, you need to stop. Someone might see." He whispers and I realize that he's right. We're being watched even if I can't see anyone looking at us. Luckily it's dark and the VIP section is basically empty besides us so no one can see where my hand is but he's right it's not a good idea. I move my hand without a word and bring my arms up to rest on the fence where we intertwines our hands together and steps closer to me.

Just being this close to him makes me happier than I've been since we were in Monaco before everything went down with his mother and his team. It makes me think that we'll be able to get through this and be back to how we were. The crowd starts cheering loudly then just as Noah Kahan comes out on stage to begin his set.

As the set starts, I turn to look at my found family and can't help but smile at all of the people I love most together in one place. To my utter surprise I see Morgan and Jeremy in the same position as me and Charles and I realize that I've missed a lot over the course of the day but I'm so f*cking happy for them. I also notice Lando and Bianca looking very close and wonder what's going on there, secretly rooting for them because I thought they would get along.

"You've missed a lot today while you were off planning a pointless birthday party for me." Charles whispers in my ear when he sees me staring at the two couples. I turn my head so I can see him and roll my eyes.

"Not pointless, LP. It's the first birthday we're spending together, it needs to be special." I tell him and his expression changes. The way he's looking at me makes my heart lurch. Has he always looked at me like that and I just didn't see it before?

"I don't deserve you." He tells me as he leans forward and then kisses me softly.

After that we enjoy watching Noah and by the time he finishes his set I am so blissfully happy. While we wait for The 1975 to play, Charles and I spend the time telling each other about things we've been up to over the last few weeks. It feels good to be able to tell him about all of my adventures that I've had. He listened intently as I told him about all of our trips we've taken. At first I think he's going to be upset but he's not. I only see happiness in his gaze as he listens to my stories.

Eventually The 1975 makes their appearance. We stand and watch them for the next forty minutes, singing along and dancing. Eventually they start to play Fallingforyou and memories of Charles and I dancing to this song in my apartment in Parma come flooding to my brain. I turn in Charles arms so I'm facing him.

"Do you remember when we danced to this song in my apartment?" I ask as I wrap my arms around his shoulders, my fingers tangling into his hair. We start swaying side to side then as we look at one another.

"Yes, it was when I came to see you after the first time I screwed up and I was able to convince you to come to Silverstone with me. From what I recall, you had similar rules set in place then as you do now. I don't seem to remember them lasting long though." He tells me with a smirk and I can't help but laugh and push him lightly for calling me out.

"You better watch it, jerk. Stop calling me out. It's not my fault that you're irresistible." I tell him as we continue dancing until the end of the song. After the song is over I give Charles a kiss and then turn back around to face the audience.

"We're The 1975 and this is going to be our last song. It's been great time, Austin! Here's 'I'm In Love With You'!" Matty Healy yells to the crowd and everyone goes crazy, including myself. This is one of my favorite song of theirs and a great one to end on.

I start dancing against Charles as they play the song, and when it gets to the chorus I turn and face him, singing him the lyrics and dancing like a loon as he just smiles at me. As I continue singing and dancing I notice that Ezra is now recording and I can't help but be more silly as I sing to Charles. Eventually he grabs me and pulls me against him, laughing in my ear and telling me I'm crazy which makes me laugh but then I hear him starting to sing the lyrics to me and I completely melt.

Chapter 40: Lose Control

Chapter Text

Charles POV

"I'm in love with you." I sing into Lydia's ear and I can feel her smile against my neck which makes me shiver against her. She has no idea how she deeply she affects me, how every little thing she does drives me crazy in a good way. I don't know how I survived the last month without her. I'm realizing now that I was in a haze and just going through the motions because now that I have her with me again, I'm realizing how she makes my life so much better. She's my sunshine.

When I thought I made her angry earlier with my jealousy, I thought it was the beginning to the end. Finding out she wasn't mad was a relief much to my annoyance that she made me think she was angry. So I decided to try to get back at her but it failed miserably because it just made us both turned on. This whole evening has been torture. With her body pressed against me, moving along to the music. I'm ready to drag Lydia back to the airbnb to have my way with her. But I won't because she said no sex and I respect that. At this point, I just want to hold her in my arms though and not worry about someone in public seeing or taking a photo of my permanent hard on.

"You ready to go back to the airbnb?" I whisper in her ear once the set is over and we are just hanging out with the group. Lydia looks at me and something in my expression must make her realize I'm anxious to leave because she only nods.

"We're heading back to the house. Anyone want to come back with us?" She asks the group and only Max and Kelly say they want to head back too, the rest of the group deciding to stay for one of the DJ's whose playing. I watch Lydia give everyone whose staying a hug goodbye, lingering longer with Ezra and I can tell she's telling him to be safe. I can't help but smile at her. She's so wonderful and seeing her with Ezra makes me feel all sorts of things. Even though he's older, I can't help but imagine how she would be as the mother to my future children.

"You look like a love sick fool." Max tells me as he notices me watching her. I turn to face him and see Kelly shove him lightly with a laugh.

"Stop teasing him. It's cute and I'm happy to see it." She says and Max nods his head in agreement and raises his eyebrows at me which makes me furrow mine.

"Happy to see what?" Lydia asks, startling me. I hadn't realized that she was close enough to hear our conversation. Turning to answer her I hear Max before I can respond.

"Charles being completely smitten by you." He tells her and she looks curiously between our group with a soft smile on her face. She glances towards me and I nod, letting her know he's telling the truth and her face lights up with my favorite smile of hers.

"Yeah he was staring at you like he wants your babies." Max continues and my head whips to his and my eyes widen because what the f*ck Max? My reaction makes both Max and Kelly laugh and I can't help but be annoyed with them.

"Alright, let's go before you embarrass me even more." I say, ignoring Lydia's eyes that I can feel on my face. I'm too embarrassed to look at her even though I don't really have anything to be embarrassed about. Max and Kelly continue laughing but start walking towards the exit of the VIP section leaving me and Lydia standing there. I'm about to follow them when I feel Lydia's hand grab mine and stop me.

"Come on, we'll talk when we get back to the airbnb. I have a feeling this is going to turn into a bigger conversation." I tell her with a smile, letting her know everything is okay and that we'll talk about everything she wants when we get back to the house. She smiles back at me and squeezes my hand as we start walking to follow Max and Kelly.

Twenty minutes later we are getting dropped off at the house. Kelly and Max immediately disappear into their room with Kelly giggling and yelping as Max chases her and does who knows what to her. Lydia laughs as we watch them. I grab her hand and lead her to the other side of the house where our room is. As I close the door, for some reason I get nervous. I'm not sure what to expect from tonight. Before I can think to much about it, Lydia pushes me against the door and kisses me deeply. I make a noise of surprise because I was not expecting her to do that especially after she told me no sex. Not that kissing is sex, but with us it often leads to it.

She starts to pull away from me but I don't let her. I'm up to speed now and I pull her against me, kissing her deeply in return. She moans against my mouth and my dick gets immediately hard. I feel her grind against me and I shutter at the sensation, she feels so f*cking good. My hands begin to roam under her shirt, needing to feel her skin against mine and my mind goes blank when I feel her smooth skin.

"f*ck mon soleil. I want you so bad, but I promised you no sex." I whisper as I move my mouth from hers to her neck. She's breathing hard in my ear and it's making me crazy with want. I need to get away from her or I'm going to do something that she's going to probably end up regretting. But I can't stop, my hands are now grazing against her bra, wanting to unlatch it so badly.

"Lydia, you need to tell me to stop." I growl out and she shakes her head no.

"Yes, mon soleil. You need to tell me to stop." I beg her as I lick along her neck and nip along her collarbone. She moans into my ear and it is the sexiest sound I've ever heard. Grabbing the hem of her shirt, I start to pull it over her head but either my actions or my words finally snap in her head and she pushes herself away from me. We are both breathing heavily and I run my hands over my hair, not from frustration but to keep myself from reaching out for her. f*ck, I want her but I know this isn't what she wants, even though she may think otherwise at the moment.

"f*ck. I'm sorry, Charles. I'm not being fair to you." She says with worry in her voice as she paces in front of me. I drop my hands from my hair and take a step closer to her so I can grab her hand to stop her pacing.

"You're not the one who needs to apologize. I'm the one who should be saying sorry. I shouldn't have let it get to that point." I tell her, feeling like such an idiot for not listening to her request from this morning and letting my dick take over.

"No! You have nothing to apologize for. I'm the one who told you one thing but then did another. It's just...you're just...I can't seem to control myself when I'm with you. Every time you look at me like you are right now, I just want to jump you." She tells me as she bites her lip, and f*ck I need her to stop or I need to remove myself from this situation otherwise I'm going to say to hell with the no sex rule. I've never wanted her more than I do at this moment. She looks so beautiful, but beyond that I just miss her and the connection we always had when we were intimate.

"I'm going to take a cold shower. And then we're going to lay in bed and talk." I tell her as I squeeze her hand before dropping it and walking to my suitcase to grab a new pair of boxer briefs and some workout shorts to sleep in. Lydia doesn't respond to me beyond a silent nod and a small smile as I close the bathroom door.

Once the door shuts behind me I take a deep breath and try to calm myself down with no luck. Turning on the shower, I make sure the temperature is more on the cold side before climbing in. I wasn't joking when I said I needed a cold shower, but it doesn't seem to be helping the situation anyways. I'm still f*cking hard as a rock and I need to do something about it before I go back out to Lydia, otherwise this night is going to be extremely uncomfortable for me. As I let the water fall over my shoulders, I wrap my hand around my co*ck and start pumping. f*ck, it feels good. Closing my eyes I use my free hand to keep me steady against the wall, and then I start fantasizing about Lydia.

I think of the first time she gave me head when we were at Silverstone. Seeing her on her knees in front of me was something I'll never forget. Having her hot wet mouth around my co*ck for the first time was too perfect to describe. I still remember exactly how she felt around my co*ck, how she took it without any trouble. My hand starts pumping faster as I imagine her on her knees in front of me now. My breathing gets faster and I feel my balls pulling tighter at how good this feels right now. I'm so close to coming.

"Charles." I can hear Lydia whisper and it takes me a moment to realize that it wasn't just in my imagination, that she actually said my name and shes currently in the bathroom. I squeeze my eyes shut and release my aching co*ck before turning towards her. Her eyes go immediately to it and she subconsciously licks her lips, making me groan wishing that she would use that tongue on me.

"Keep going." She whispers and my eyes widen in shock. Especially when I then see her start undressing in front of me. I watch silently as she takes off her shirt and skirt. She's now standing before me with her red lace bra and matching underwear. I bite my lip as I take her in. She is breathtaking and my co*ck twitches as I stare at her.

"I said keep going LP." She tells me as she slowly runs her own hand between her breasts, down her stomach and into her underwear. I watch silently as she dips her fingers inside. The moans we both make when she reaches her puss* spring me into action and I take my co*ck into my hand once again and starting pumping it slowly. We both stare at one another, as our breathing picks up. My hand speeds up as I watch Lydia begin to tremble slightly and I'm not sure how much longer I'm going to last.

"f*ck Lydia. You're so f*cking sexy. I'm going to cum." I rush out with a moan as I pump even harder now. I watch as Lydia starts pumping her own fingers faster and her breathing becomes erratic.

"Charles." She moans out as she stares at my aching co*ck and licks her lips. That's all it takes for me to explode in my hand with her name on my lips. I watch her intently as I working myself until I'm too sensitive to and I can tell she's close. Her fingers are now frantic and her chest is heaving.

"Cum for me mon soleil. Let me see you fall apart." I tell her as I continue watching her pleasure herself. It only takes one last pump of her fingers and she's falling apart in front of me. Her moans are like music to my ears and I wish so desperately that I could touch her right now, help her prolong her org*sm. After a few moments her eyes snap to mine and she looks completely dazed but satisfied. I silently shut the shower off and step out, grabbing the towel I hung on the hook next to the shower door. I notice Lydia avert her eyes and turn away from me as she rings her hands together like she's nervous.

"Are you okay mon soleil?" I ask her as I dry myself off, having a hard time keeping the smile off my lips as I think about what just happened.

"Hmm? Oh yeah. I'm okay." She says awkwardly and i furrow my brows. Does she regret what we just did? f*ck. I hope not, but she might. I wouldn't classify that as sex, but I guess it's not apart of what she had in mind.

"Do you regret what we just did?" I ask sadly which makes her whip towards me just as I wrap the towel around my waist and grab my boxer briefs from the vanity.

"No, I don't. I've never experienced anything like that before. It was hot and fun. I don't regret it. I guess I'm just a little embarrassed." She confesses and I'm relieved to know she doesn't regret it but annoyed that she feels embarrassed over it.

"There's no need to feel embarrassed. I'm going to remember that moment for the rest of my life, it was so sexy watching you make yourself cum." I tell her, being completely honest. I've never done anything like that before either and damn is was hot.

"Really?" She asks with surprise and I can't help but smirk at her.

"Absolutely. I love what we just did." I continue as I put on my underwear, making sure not to expose myself to her now that we're moving away from the sexy time.

"Why don't you take a shower and I'll go find us some snacks?" I suggest to which she nods with a small smile. As I walk past her out of the bathroom, I give her a lingering kiss on her cheek, and tell her I had a great time to which I watched as her cheeks turned pink.

I can't help the smile that is on my face as I make my way to the kitchen to grab some snacks for us. I'm looking at the contents of the refrigerator when I hear footsteps behind me. I look over my shoulder to see Max who like me has a smile on his face and who is also only in his underwear. I can't help but smirk at him as I pull out some aged cheddar cheese, some Genoa salami and some water bottles for Lydia and I.

"Enjoying your night?" I ask with a soft chuckle as I set everything down on the counter and turn to find a plate and maybe some crackers.

"Yes, it's been simply lovely." He responds as I hear the refrigerator open beside me.

"I'm assuming yours is going well too?" He asks and I turn to see him smirking at me. I know he thinks Lydia and I had sex and I guess technically we kind of did? But no, not really. It was still an awesome time though.

"Not as well as yours mate, but still lovely just the same." I respond as I close the cupboard and add some crackers to the plate. Max makes an odd noise and I look up to see him staring at me with confusion on his face. Instead of asking him what his deal is because I'm pretty sure I already know, I just smile and grab the plate of food and the waters I grabbed and walk out of the kitchen. Throwing a goodnight over my shoulder as I do.

When I get back to the room, Lydia is sitting crossed legged on the middle of the bed. Her long hair is wet, her face is free of makeup, and she's wearing only a pair of underwear and an oversized tee shirt. As I approach her, I realize that it's one of my tee shirts. One that I've been looking for the last 6 weeks. My heart lurches in my chest when I realize she's had it this whole time. I thought she had gotten rid of everything of mine, everything that I bought her. Emotions flow through me and I'm not sure what exactly I'm feeling right now. Happy, sad, so f*cking in love.

"What's wrong?" She asks me, staring intently into my eyes and without answering I set the food and waters down on the bedside table and then lean down towards her and kiss her. After a few moments we're both breathless when I pull away. Resting my forehead against hers, I finally reply to her question.

"Nothings wrong. I'm just so f*cking happy you're wearing my tee shirt." I whisper and rub my nose along hers, before pulling back so I can see her, admiring how sexy she looks in my clothes. Her eyebrows furrow in confusion but I'm not sure what she's confused about.

"You're reacting this way because I'm wearing your shirt?" She asks me as she looks down at the shirt like it's not a big deal.

"I thought you got rid of everything that reminded you of me when you left. All of the gifts I bought you showed up at my apartment in Monaco along with some of my things that I had left at your apartment. I thought you were making sure you had no reminders of me, that you didn't want them. But knowing you kept this shirt, f*ck mon soleil, it makes me so happy." I tell her as I sit down on the bed next to her, getting comfortable. Absentmindedly I play with the bracelets on my wrist as I wait for her to answer. Her eyes flash down to my wrist and I know what she's looking at, her Cartier love bracelet that I've been wearing ever since I realized she left it.

Chapter 41: This Love

Chapter Text

Lydia POV

I stare at Charles wrist, at the Cartier love bracelet he's currently fussing with. He looks down at it and then back to me, his expression one that makes me heart beat faster. It's written across his face how much he loves me and I don't know how I missed it before. Perhaps the time apart made it more obvious but if I truly think about it, he's always looked at me this way.

"You're wearing my bracelet." I whisper as I lean forward and touch it on his wrist. He stops fussing with it and stares at me.

"I needed a piece of you close to me and this was all I had." He whispers back and my heart aches at his sad words. A part of me feels guilty for leaving him, even with everything that happened. Maybe if I was a little bit more patient things would have been fine between us. No, I'm not going down that road. Everything happens for a reason, and even if I had waited for him to figure his sh*t out, there's no guarantee that he would have. If I had stayed, he wouldn't have fired his PR team, he would have gone along with whatever they wanted because his career was...is more important than our relationship.

"Can I ask you a question?" I ask and Charles nods his head indicating I can.

"Will you explain to me why one minute you were fine with us going public and then the next you were telling me we needed to break up. And I need to hear the actual truth even if it hurts me."

Charles takes a deep breath and then pulls my hands into his before answering my question. We stare at each other as he responds.

"It was a number of reasons. The morning after the photos of us came out, the comments you were getting were awful and I hated that my fans were treating you that way. All I wanted to do was protect you, protect our relationship. Those comments made me question if we made the right choice by going public. Then people found out who you were and the things people were commenting got even worse. It was so awful, and my team was so focused on fixing my public image that I let them convince me the best thing for you was to keep you out of the spotlight and the best way to do that was to take a step back from our relationship. But they were only concerned about me and how it would affect my career by being with you. They were worried brands were going to drop me and that I was going to lose out on a lot of opportunities because of our relationship." He tells me and although this isn't new information and I'm not surprised to hear it, it still hurts to know that he basically chose his career over me. And I don't blame him for that at all. I'm sad over the fact that he didn't once come to talk to me about it, and that he agreed that going public was okay. If I would have known his concerns before hand I would have been fine staying hidden.

"What I don't understand is why you agreed to go public in the first place when you had to have had these reservations to begin with. I mean you're career is always going to be your number one priority. You had to have known I was going to be a problem for you if and when you went public, what with me being a nobody and also being a teen mom. I just don't get it." I say as tears fill my eyes. One drop escapes from my eye and Charles is quick to wipe it away gently. His finger lingering on my cheek as he stares at me with sadness.

"I knew that there would be some backlash but I wasn't expecting as much as there was. If I had known it was my own team who was feeding the drama I would have done things differently." He tells me and I furrow my brows in confusion.

"What do you mean?"

"They were angry with me that I didn't warn them we were wanting to go public and when those photos of us in the car came out they were not happy. In their scheme of manipulating me to do what they wanted me to do, they fed the media the information about you and your past." He confesses and my mouth drops open in shock. How could his team do that to him just because they were angry he had a personal life, and that it wasn't good for their idea for his image? More tears fall from my eyes as I realize that Charles was treated so badly by his team and he had no idea.

"How did you find that information out?" I ask.

"After I found out you left, I was a complete disaster and all their concern was if you were going to talk to the press about our time together. They didn't care how I felt, how much I regretted what I did to you. They only cared about my image so that's why they sent you that NDA. They literally have a stack of them with my signature already on them so I had no idea they had sent it to you until you told me. I confronted them about it which led to them getting defensive and an argument ensued. Eventually they accidentally slipped and told me they were the ones to tell the press about your past, that they wanted to teach me a lesson about my image and who I should be associating myself with. How if I'm not careful, it could end my career. At this point, I realized that some things are more important than my career. That if my fans or any sponsors or businesses don't want to affiliate themselves with me or support me then so be it. I wouldn't want them anyways if they don't support who I choose to love. So, I fired my PR team on the spot."

By now tears are falling freely from my eyes that Charles is blurry in front of me. I can't control them after hearing what he just told me. He pulls me into his arms and lays us down on the bed. My body is laying atop of his and I'm sobbing into his neck as he rubs my back. How could his team do all of that? It's so awful. In a way I'm thankful it happened so he saw their true colors and could get rid of them but I'm also extremely pissed that this happened at all. Why couldn't they just be supportive? It's their job to spin things, they could have sold me to the public but no, instead they manipulated and were calculated, trying to get rid of me which they did accomplish. At least for a short time.

"I'm so sorry." I sob into his neck, and I feel him stiffen below me. Then I feel his hand tangle into my hair and pull me away from his neck gently so we're now staring at one another. His eyes are glistening with moisture as he moves some hair from my cheek.

"What on earth are you apologizing for?" He asks me, searching in my gaze for I don't know what.

"You should have been able to trust your team. They completely manipulated you so they could control you. It's so awful." I cry out, getting more and more emotional about it the more I think about it.

"Mon soleil, I don't deserve you." He whispers.

"You should hate me, especially after what I just told you but you're more worried about me and upset for me. Like I said I don't deserve you." He continues and my heart lurches in my chest at the way he's talking.

"I am angry with you still for not just talking to me before breaking up with me. I feel like this could have been avoided with simple communication, but I'm more angry for you. No one deserves to be treated the way you were. I'm proud of you for sticking up for yourself though and that you got rid of the people who didn't truly support you."

"I regret everyday not just talking to you about everything. I was stupid in thinking you would be waiting for me and that you would forgive me after everything settled down. I'm so sorry about everything I've put you through since we've met. It amazes me how you can keep giving me chance after chance, it makes me realize how truly wonderful you are. How even with your history, you are still so open to forgiveness and I'm so thankful you giving me yet another chance to show you how I only want to be with you, forever."

Charles words are too much for me to fully comprehend. I believe him, much to my surprise and realize that I may trust him more than I thought I did. Don't get me wrong, I still don't fully trust him, but I'm hopeful that I will be able to move past my fear of him hurting me again. I lean down and kiss him, showing him everything I want to tell him but can't. That I'm so deeply in love with him, how I hope this lasts forever, how I don't ever want to be without him. He kisses me back with as much emotion as I'm giving and I melt against him. It's surreal being here with him when literally only a week ago I thought things between us would never work out.

After a few minutes, we pull away from one another and I rest my head on his chest so I can hear his heart beat beneath my ear. His fingers are playing with my hair and I am so happy in this moment. There's still so much we need to talk about, mainly his mother as well as what our plans are for this relationship in the short term and long term, but I'm afraid to bring it up because we are in such a good place currently. I let out a sigh and I feel Charles' hand stop brushing along my hair and he forces my chin up towards him so we are looking at each other.

"Tell me what's got you worried mon soleil." He says with concern and I smile softly up at him.

"You're mother is going to be at the GP next weekend." I say, deciding to bring up this topic first, bite the bullet and all that. Charles frowns but nods his head in confirmation.

"What will she think about us being back together?" I ask as I turn my head away from him, not wanting to see his eyes as he processes my question. He sighs as his hand falls from my face and onto my shoulder.

"I honestly don't know. I didn't talk to her for a few weeks after that night because I was angry with her and because I was depressed that you had left and weren't talking to me. She eventually found out from Arthur everything that happened between us and that you were gone and she reached out to me. I think after seeing how upset and sad I was with everything that happened she realized how much I truly love you. Her attitude about you changed then and she told me I needed to find a way to get you to forgive me." He tells me and I'm shocked to hear that. That doesn't mean she likes me or thinks I'm good for her son though, it just means she doesn't want Charles sad. Which honestly is probably the best I'm going to get because it means she'll at least tolerate me and hopefully stop with pushing Charlotte onto Charles and trying to convince him I can't give him the family he wants.

"I guess that's a step in the right direction then. It seems like she'll tolerate me because I can make you happy. And who knows maybe by the time we decide to start our family she'll actually like me." I say with a little chuckle as I absentmindedly trace my finger along his naked chest. I can feel Charles gaze on me and his hand in my hair stops moving at my comment. sh*t, maybe I shouldn't have said that.

"Our family?" He chokes out with emotion and I turn to look at him to see his eyes glistening.

"Yes, our family. I mean...unless you don't want that with me. Then forget I just said that." I say with embarrassment. I turn away from him to hide my expression of sadness and confusion because I thought he wanted a family, but maybe I was wrong. Or maybe he just doesn't want a family with me. But that can't be true, can it? Not after what Max just said tonight about him looking at me like he wanted to have my babies.

Before I can realize what's happening, Charles rolls us on the bed so now I'm underneath him and he's hovering above me. His arms are caging me in place and I can feel every inch of him against me, specifically his hard co*ck pressing against my heat. I can't help but grind against him slightly which makes us both moan. Charles buries his face against my neck and kisses near my ear making me shiver at the sensation.

"Feel how hard I am?" He whispers and I can't help but whimper when he presses into me with that hardness. I nod as my breathing picks up.

"That's what happens when I think about starting a family with you. It's proof of how much I want that, how much I need that. I would happily put a baby in you right now if you'd let me." He whispers as he continues to grind against me.

I'm embarrassed to say that I'm close to coming just from his rubbing against me and the words he's whispering in my ear. Thinking about being pregnant with his babies is a surprising turn on and I'm so tempted to take up his offer of getting me pregnant right now. Turning my head towards his, I capture his lips with mine and kiss him until I can't think straight. His hands are under my shirt a few moments later and his fingers graze along my nipple causing me to lose my mind. I wrap my legs around him tightly and start grinding against him shamelessly, feeling an org*sm approaching quickly. I'm about to fall over the edge when there's a loud bang and we both jump and come back to reality.

Quickly disentangling ourselves we climb out of bed to see what the noise was to realize by the sounds coming down the hall that the rest of the group is home. I can hear Morgan, Bianca, Lando and Arthur singing some song, drunk off their asses as Jeremy and Ezra are shushing them, trying to keep them quiet. Turning to look at Charles, I can't help but laugh. He looks about ready to murder someone but f*ck he looks sexy. His hair is all messed up from my hands running through it, his hard on is still very much proudly on display and to my shock there's scratch marks all over him that I realize now are courtesy of me, whoops.

My puss* is aching, partially because I was so close to coming and partially because of Charles being so sexy. I'm about to tell him we should continue when there's a loud knock on our door, followed by a thunk and then Jeremy cursing under his breath. Charles seriously looks ready to murder someone but I ignore him and open the door. Morgan is standing there, looking so adorably wasted and she glances between me and Charles and a smirk comes over her face.

"I knew the no sex thing was never going to last!" She practically screams and then she's giggling as she's telling Bianca to come and see us. A moment later, Bianca, Lando, Arthur, Jeremy and Ezra are at the door looking into our room. By now Charles has gone and found clothes but I'm still only in my underwear and tee shirt.

"Wait what day is it? Who won the bet?" Lando asks, as he pulls out his phone and squints to check the date or time. This makes everyone laugh, except for Charles who is now standing right behind me, his hands resting on my hips and his chin coming to rest on my shoulder. I can't help but bring my hand up to his hair and turning to kiss him.

"Unfortunately, I won the bet." I hear Ezra say and I pull away from Charles to look at Ez, confused about what they are talking about.

"What bet?" I ask the group when they all start laughing, minus Ezra who looks disgusted yet smug.

"The group made a bet on how long it would take you two to break the no sex rule." Bianca says in between giggles and my mouth drops open in shock. Although I really shouldn't be surprised about this.

"Well baby, I'm sorry to tell you but you have not won. We have not had sex." I tell the group which makes them all stop laughing at once. It's so ridiculous that I start laughing at their reaction. Charles' chuckles against my back and I feel his hands tighten on my hips.

"Bullsh*t!" Morgan yells as she slams her hand dramatically against the door frame. She's so drunk that she didn't realize how hard she hit her hand and I can't help but laugh as Jeremy rushes to her side to check her hand. I raise my eyebrows at the both of them and Jeremy rolls his eyes while Morgan stares at him like he's her hero.

"It's not bullsh*t." I say as I roll my eyes and something in my expression must convince everyone that I'm telling the truth because they all start talking about how they still have a chance at winning the bet. All but Ezra who looks relieved yet upset that he lost the bet.

"Who wants to go in the hot tub?!" Bianca says, changing the subject and I've never been more thankful. I need everyone to leave. Lando immediately agrees as well as Morgan. Arthur and Ezra opt for going to bed and Jeremy eventually relents to Morgan's request and agrees to go in the hot tub. Morgan turns to Charles and I with raised eyebrows.

"Have fun. We'll see you guys in the morning." I tell the group as I shut the door in their faces.

"Party poopers!" Morgan yells through the door, and I can't help but laugh when I turn around in Charles arms. A moment later I hear the group move away from our door.

"I hate our friends. They have the absolutely worst timing." Charles tells me as he starts trailing his fingers along my back under my shirt and kissing along my neck. Goosebumps explode over my body. I can't help the moan I let out as he sucks gently on a particularly sensitive part of my neck. As much as I want him, and f*ck do I want him bad. I know we should stop. I pull away from him much to his dismay and he whines when I take his hands completely off of my body.

"As much as I want to continue what we were doing, we should probably finish our conversation instead." I tell him as I climb back onto the bed and sit cross legged. He looks like he wants to protest but nods and comes to sit on the bed across from me.

"Okay, so let's see, where we're we?" He says as he's trying to think back on what we were discussing.

"Ahh yes, I was in the middle of showing you how much I want to start a family with you." He says with a smirk. My stomach fills with butterflies as he says those words and I can't help the smile that comes across my face.

"Come here." He says with a smile and he grabs my arms and yanks me to him. I laugh as he pushes me against the bed and kisses me until I'm breathless. When he pulls away I can't help but think how lucky I am and how I hope that this thing between us is here to last.

"I am so in love with you Lydia Kincaid and I can't wait until you're my wife and we can expand our family." He tells me and I can't help but fall even more in love with him. My throat tightens as I process his words and as much as I want to respond I know I will cry if I do, so instead I pull him back towards me and kiss him. We kiss for a what feels like hours, getting reacquainted after weeks apart. We don't stop until we grow tired and eventually fall asleep tangled in each others arms. The last thing I remember thinking was how I hope that this never ends.

Chapter 42: Labyrinth

Chapter Text

Charles POV

When I wake up the next morning I'm more rested than I've been in recent weeks and so f*cking happy that I don't know how to handle it. Lydia is beside me, our legs tangled together and her head resting on my chest. I can't help but just stare at her, she is beautiful and I can't even begin to describe how good it feels to wake up with her beside me again. I was so stupid for ever letting her go. My fingers trail along her spine as I watch her sleep, and I could literally lay here all day with her and be completely content. Unfortunately, I can't though. I promised Andrea that I would get a work out in this morning before heading to the last day of the festival.

Trying to move Lydia off of me is hard because I don't want to move her. Eventually my phone dings on the bedside table though and I have to check who it is even though I already know it's going to be Andrea. He's probably already texted 20 times in the last hour. Carefully moving her head off my chest I slide out of the bed and grab my phone before heading into the bathroom. With one last lingering look at her, I shut the door and check my phone.

Andrea: You better be doing the workout I sent you.
Andrea: I swear to god if I find out you didn't do it, I'm going to make you suffer
Andrea: I know you want to spend time with Lydia, but you need to focus.
Andrea: Charles I swear to god.
Andrea: I'm boarding my plane. You better do the workout!
Me: I'm about to start it now. Relax.
Andrea: Record it because for some reason I don't believe you.
Me: f*ck off.
Andrea: 🖕🏻
Me: Have a safe flight. I'll see you soon. And don't worry, I'll record it. I'm sure you'll want to critique me.

Setting my phone done on the sink, I go through my morning routine before stepping back out into the room to grab a workout outfit from my suitcase. When I open the door to the bathroom, I see Lydia is now awake. She's still in bed though, looking at her phone. She looks at me with a bright smile as I make my way over to her and I can't help but smile in return. She's so perfect.

"Good morning mon soleil. How did you sleep?" I ask her as I lean down and press a soft lingering kiss on her awaiting lips.

"Morning. I haven't slept that good since Monaco. How about you?" She answers as I walk to my suitcase and start grabbing some clothes.

"Same. I feel more rested than I have in a long time." I say as I slip a plain white tee shirt over my head. Next I slip on some workout shorts and then grab some socks before heading back to the bed and taking a seat on the edge.

"You going for a run?" She asks and I nod as I put my socks on my feet and grab the trainers next to the bed.

"Andrea sent me a workout he wants me to do. It includes a 5k run as well as some other things. Do you want to come with me?"

"Not today LP. I have too much to do." She replies and I scrunch my nose as I turn to look at her. She's not paying attention though, looking at something on her phone instead.

"What do you have to do?" I ask as I fully turn to face her. She glances over at me and sets her phone down beside her, screen up. I notice she has Instagram open and she has a lot of notifications.

"I need to run the mall, the party supply store, and the police station. Then I'm thinking about doing a little question and answer story on social media since I'm getting bombarded with messages and comments. I think if I answer some burning questions things might die down a little bit." She tells me and I don't even know where to start with her list of things she needs to do. I have too many questions.

"Why do you have to go to the police station?" I ask the most important one first. My stomach is in knots wondering why she would need to go back.

"They called and left me a voicemail this morning telling me they need me to come in because they have something important to tell me pertaining to the case. I don't know what it is though, they didn't say."

"Do you want me to go with you?" I ask because I'm terrified of her going alone. She shakes her head no and I'm about to protest.

"No, I need you to go to the festival and have fun with your friends. Kelly said she would come with me. She and I decided that we don't really want to go to the festival today so she's going to spend the day with me."

"I don't mind skipping the festival mon soleil. I'd rather spend time with you. Plus I want to be there for you in case you need me." I tell her, grabbing her hands and bringing them up to my lips so I can kiss them. I hope she tells me it's okay, because now that I know she's going to be skipping the festival I have no desire to go.

"Okay LP. I'll get ready while you're working out." She tells me with a bright smile and I let out a breath of relief. Leaning forward I kiss her quickly before standing to go start my work out. She gives me a little wave as I walk out the door and it's the cutest thing ever.

Shutting the door behind me, I make my way to the kitchen to grab a protein bar and some water before taking off. I find Arthur, Ezra, Max and Jeremy sitting at the dining room table talking as I walk in.

"Well good morning Charles. Happy to finally see you." Arthur says with a smirk and I playfully mess up her hair as I stand behind him.

"Good morning. If anyone would like to join me, I'm heading out to get a workout in." I tell the group.

"What kind of workout?" Max asks and I pull out my phone to check Andrea's note he shared with me.

"Just a 5k run, followed by some strength training and flexibility stretches. Nothing too crazy." I tell him and he nods. He agrees to come with me as well as Jeremy to my surprise. Arthur and Ezra both claim to be too tired so they decline my offer.

A few short minutes later, me, Max and Jeremy take off on our 5k run. None of us talk for awhile as we set our pace. It's not until about a mile in that Jeremy turns to look at me looking like he wants to ask me something. I give him a look like 'just ask the question' and so he does.

"How are things going with Lyd?" He asks me and I can't help the smile that comes over me when I think about her.

"So far it seems to be going well. I know she still doesn't fully trust me, but I'm hoping to rectify that soon. All I know is she makes me so f*cking happy and I think I make her happy too." I reply.

"Of course you're happy mate. You're getting laid again." Max replies and I furrow my brows. What the f*ck?

"I'm actually not. We haven't had sex and we won't until Lydia is ready to. And even if I was getting laid, I can't believe that you would accuse me of only being happy for that. You know how wrecked I've been without her these past weeks." I respond angrily.

"Thank f*ck, you passed the test, mate!" Max shouts with excitement and I furrow my brows.

"What the f*ck are you talking about?" I ask even though I'm annoyed.

"We're just making sure you have your head on right this time. And I'm glad that you do. You're not allowed to f*ck this up." Max replies and I can't help but be a little pissed that they still don't believe me when I tell them Lydia is it for me. Although I can't blame them all for thinking it. I screwed up big time and I still have a lot to make up for.

For the rest of the workout, I'm unfocused. I'm too in my head trying to figure out ways to prove to Lydia and everyone else that I'm not going anywhere, that they can trust me. Surprisingly I remember to record videos for Andrea but don't ask me how because I literally couldn't tell you.

About two and a half hours later, we're walking back into the house. All I want to do is go take a shower but I get distracted when I see Lydia laughing on the couch. She looks so beautiful. I notice that Kelly, Morgan and Bianca are surrounding her and staring at her with shocked expressions. None of the girls have noticed we're back yet so they keep continuing their conversation.

"I've never done anything like that before, but holy sh*t it was so hot and I wouldn't consider it to be sex, so I'm not lying to you guys when I tell you we haven't done anything. He hasn't even touched me below the waist!" Lydia says and I hide my shock over the fact it sounds like she told the girls what went down last night in the bathroom.

"Holy sh*t, I literally don't know how you controlled yourself. He is so f*cking hot!" Bianca comments and I can't help but look over at Jeremy to see his reaction. How awkward. Luckily he seems completely oblivious. He's too busy staring at Morgan who has now seen us lurking in the foyer.

"Welcome back menfolk! How was gallivanting around?!" She shouts but I don't bother answering. I just head straight to Lydia and give her a kiss before whispering in her ear how beautiful she looks. Her answering smile makes my heart pound in my chest. I tell her that I'm going to go shower and get dressed and then we can go, to which she told me to take my time.

About 20 minutes later, I'm freshly showered and dressed. I'm about to head out to find Lydia when she walks into our room, shutting the door behind her. Without a word she walks over to me and pulls me into a searing kiss. I immediately pull her body tightly against mine, taking advantage of her eagerness. She feels absolutely amazing and I try to deepen the kiss but she won't let me.

"I missed you." She whispers as she pulls away from me and I'm dazed.

"I missed you too. You ready to go run these errands?" I ask with a smile, trying to distract myself from the current hard on I have in my pants. Lydia agrees and we make our way out of the house with a quick shout to the group. Once we're outside we climb into one of the rental vehicles we got for the time we're in Texas. Lydia doesn't protest when I tell her I'm driving. She's content with making sure we have a playlist ready to go and the GPS ready to go letting us know where we're headed. We decide to go to the police station first to get that done with. On our way there, Lydia plays a song I don't recognize.

"What song is this?" I ask and she tells me it's 'Labyrinth' by Taylor Swift.

"I added it and a few other songs to our playlist this morning." She continues and I can't help but smile, pleased that she's still been adding songs. I squeeze her thigh where my hand is resting and glance over at her to find she's staring at me.

"What's wrong mon soleil?" I ask as I look back at the road. Lydia doesn't respond immediately and I start to get worried she's upset about something. I glance back towards her to see her eyes watering like she's trying not to cry. My stomach dips with panic.

"Nothing is wrong. I'm just overwhelmed." She tells me and I frown. I know I'm the reason why she feels that way and I don't know how to deal with that or how to navigate through her feelings and help her not feel that way. I move my hand from her thigh thinking that maybe she doesn't want me in her personal space but she stops me and plants it back and places her hand on top and laces our fingers together.

"I'm overwhelmed about my feelings for you. I've spent the past 5 weeks pushing them away to try to not fall completely apart, but now that we're trying again they're coming back tenfold. I'm terrified about how in love with you I am and there is still doubt in my mind that you feel the same way." She says as one lone tear falls from her eye. My heart clenches in my chest at her vulnerability and I want nothing more to be able to ease her fears but I don't know how and I'm not sure I can. At least not right now. All I can do is continue to be here, continue to tell her how much I love her.

I wish we could have had this conversation at the house and not the car. I'm too focused on driving that I can't give her the attention I need to give her. Luckily we are only a block from the police station.

"I know there's nothing I can tell you right now to convince you that I'm not going anywhere. I have a lot of work to do to get you to trust me again, but I need you to know that I'm so in love with you mon soleil." I tell her with as much sincerity that I can while driving. I'm relieved when I see the entrance to the police station and pull into their parking lot and park. Lydia is quiet as I turn off the car and turn to face her.

"The feelings I have for you overwhelm me too, they have since the beginning. They have always scared me because I know that if you truly decided that you didn't want me, it would destroy me. These past 5 weeks have been torture for me, there were times I thought that you were out of my life forever but then you would add a song to our playlist or post something on social media that only I would understand, and I would get my hope back. And now that I have you back, I'm never letting you go."

I watch her carefully to see her reaction to my words. To see if she believes me. Her eyes are so beautiful but I can tell she's holding back tears and I can't tell if they are sad or happy. I feel her hand squeeze mine and my heart clenches. What does that mean? With my free hand I lean forward and wrap it around her neck gently, pulling her closer to me so I can breath her in.

"Let's be overwhelmed together. Please don't pull away from me." I whisper as I kiss her gently. She kisses me back and I relax, thankful that for now, at least, she's not pulling away from me.

"I'm not going anywhere, LP." She whispers when we break apart and I smile in relief. I pull her in for one more kiss before we head into the police station to see what news they have for her. She giggles as I try to go in for another kiss but she won't let me. Pushing me gently away, she opens her car door and climbs out. I quickly climb out to catch up to her. When I catch up, I immediately link our hands together, not wanting to let her go. She smiles at me and I swear the world stops turning. I will never get over that smile.

When we walk into the police station we approach the check in station and let them know who we are. They tell us that the deputy who is working on Lydia's case will be out shortly and that we can take a seat in the waiting area. Lydia surprisingly looks at ease as we sit down, but I'm anxious. I have a bad feeling about whatever they are about to tell her. Lydia must sense my nerves because she squeezes my hand to get my attention. I turn my gaze to her and she gives me a soft smile.

"Tout ira bien mon amour." She tells me and I can't help the smile that overcomes me. I can't believe that she learned French. And to hear her call me my love does something to me. I thought I loved when she calls me LP but mon amour does something else to me entirely.

"Tu ne sais pas à quel point tu parles français m'excite sur mon soleil." I whisper in her ear, and I feel her shiver against me which makes me smile wickedly. This teasing we've been doing to one another is fun.

"I have no idea what you just said. Something about being excited? I still have a hard time understanding it when it's spoken, especially because you French people talk so fast. I'm better at reading it." She says, and I can't help but laugh. She's so adorable and I don't care if she doesn't understand what I said. The fact that she's learning French and trying is enough to make me fall even deeper in love with her. Before I can respond, I hear someone clearing their throat. When I turn I see a tall man in a deputies uniform standing before us. Lydia stands to her feet and I follow suit.

"Ms. Kincaid, it's good to see you again. I'm sorry I had to call you back down here, but there's some new information that I think you need to know regarding your case. Let's go to one of the conference rooms so we can talk." The man says, looking between Lydia and me. She nods in agreement and grabs my hand as we follow the man down the hall.

Chapter 43: My Universe

Chapter Text

Lydia's POV

Twenty minutes later we're back in the car. I'm staring blankly out the windshield, trying to process the information I just received. I feel numb but also have so much anger deep in my stomach. Charles sits beside me silently. I can tell he wants to help me, say something to make me feel better but he's helpless. There's nothing that he can say to make me feel any differently then I do now.

My parents were the ones who posted bail for the woman who assaulted me.My parents.The people I haven't spoken to in almost 16 years. The people who abandoned me. Why would they do that? How are they even apart of this whole thing? The police officer couldn't give me any answers. The only reason they called me down was because they realized our last names were the same and they thought that it was strange. When I told then it was my parents, the officer looked concerned. Charles looked even more concerned and angry.

Are they trying to get me back for what happened between them and Ezra? Do they hate me that much that they want to hurt me? I have so many questions. Are they trying to take Ezra away from me by causing problems? My heart hurts thinking about it. Why are they now popping up into our lives? It's been 16 years...

"Mon soleil. Will you say something? Anything? I'm worried about you." Charles says, his voice full of emotion and I turn my gaze towards him.

"I'm just confused. Why is this happening now? They've had 16 years to f*ck with my life. Why now?" I ask.

"I don't know, but I promise we will find out." He tells me as he leans forward and grabs my face in his hands, bringing his lips to mine. I relax against him, thankful for his love and support. I wrap my arms around him tightly, needing his comfort. Suddenly my emotions are everywhere and a sob rips out of me. Charles pulls me tighter against him and whispers how he's here with me, and that he won't let them hurt me. After awhile I finally calm down, my tears subsiding and my emotions evening out. I pull away from Charles and give him a sheepish smile.

"I'm sorry. You have snot and makeup all over your shirt." I tell him with a chuckle as I wipe my cheeks and pull down the sun shade to check my reflection in the mirror. Cringing at my reflection, I try to wipe away the mascara that is now smudged around my eyes.

"Do not apologize. It's just a shirt." He tells me and I can't help but laugh. It is just a shirt, but one that probably is at least $400 based on the brand. Closing the sun shade, I turn to face him. He's upset for me, and worried, it's written all over his face. I realize that all this drama is happening the day before his birthday and I'm instantly annoyed about the whole situation. Don't get me wrong I've been annoyed with it from the beginning but now that it's affecting more than just me I realize I need to try to put it behind me. At least for the next week while Charles needs to focus on himself and the race.

"Let's go get some lunch and then I'll let you buy me a new dress for your birthday." I tell him as I bite my lip. His expression changes instantly and I'm relieved. The dimples are out on display and I can't help but swoon a little bit.

"You're actually going to let me buy you things without arguing?" He asks as he turns on the car.

"I said dress. Singular thing, not things Charles." I tease as I pull up restaurants on my phone near the mall and choose one, plugging in my phone so the GPS can tell Charles where to go. He laughs at my response as he pulls out of the parking lot and heads to our destination.

"Let me buy you whatever you want mon soleil, it will be my birthday present." He says as he places his hand on my thigh and squeezes. I have to bite my lip to keep my sigh from escaping my mouth. It's crazy how a simple touch can drive me crazy.

"That's not a good birthday present. Besides I already bought your birthday present." I tell him as I scroll through my phone to choose a song to listen to since the GPS says we're 15 minutes away from the restaurant. I can feel Charles gaze on me and I can't keep the smile off my face. He's surprised I have a birthday present for him already.

"Did you buy it yesterday?" He asks and I laugh as I shake my head no. I'm sure that confuses him even more. I know he's dying to ask more questions but he doesn't. A few weeks ago I saw that Coldplay is going on tour next summer and on a whim I bought two tickets for the show in Rome in July. Without even thinking I checked the F1 schedule to see if there was a GP and there wasn't and bought the tickets. It wasn't until after I got the confirmation that I realized that I had just bought them for Charles and myself.

I felt silly once I realized what I had done when we weren't even together, but now I'm glad that I did it. Subconsciously I guess I knew things between us weren't over. Deciding to be a little sneaky I decide to play 'My Universe' by Coldplay and BTS.

"I actually bought it a few weeks ago." I confess and his gaze flashes to me in shock as his hand tightens on my thigh. He clears his throat and I realize he's fighting back emotions. We're sitting in traffic so I decide to lean over and kiss him. Silently letting him know how I've never stopped thinking of him in our time apart. How I've never truly given up hope that we would be together. We don't pull apart until we hear someone honking behind us and realize that traffic is moving again. Charles has a goofy smile as he looks back towards the road and I can't help but giggle as I start singing along to the song and dance in my seat. I decide to let my now good mood take over, and push away thoughts of my parents.

We continue to listen to Coldplay on the drive and it takes everything in me to not spill the beans when Charles mentions that we should try to go to one of their concerts. Luckily before I can respond, Charles' phone rings. He asks me to answer it for him and I hesitate for a second before I see the name displayed on the screen. Grabbing the phone from him, I connect the call.

"Hey Francesca. It's Lydia, Charles is currently driving so he asked me to answer." I say as I answer the phone call. Charles laughs at my explanation as to why I'm answering his phone and I glare at him. I hear Francesca laugh in my ear and I focus back on the call.

"Hi Lydia. I'm glad you answered, I was actually calling to speak with you so this is perfect!" She says and I furrow my brows. Why does she need to speak with me?

"Oh? What's up?" I ask as I see Charles gaze turn back to me but I ignore him.

"I noticed that you've been gaining a lot of new followers over the weekend and the comments on your page are kind of getting crazy. I was wondering if you wanted to have someone on my team help moderate your socials until things die down a bit? There aren't very many bad comments, but there are enough that I would rather you not have to deal with them." She says and I'm speechless for a moment as I process what she's offering. It would be nice to have someone who can filter through some things but I feel like I'd be taking advantage of Charles' team.

"Yes, I would actually really appreciate the help. If you could send a contract to me that includes the amount of compensation I owe you and your team for all the work you're doing for me that will be awesome and I can transfer you the funds and sign any documents you need." I tell her and I can see Charles trying to gain my attention but again I ignore him. I know he said that Francesca and her team will help me with whatever I need, that I'm covered under him as their client but I feel awkward about it.

"Lydia, you don't owe us anything. When Charles hired us, he made sure that our contract included you. We're happy to help you with everything and anything you need." Francesca tells me and I frown.

"I feel like I'm taking advantage of the situation..." I say, but I'm interrupted by Charles taking his phone from me and putting it up to his ear. He glares at me as I turn to face him with my mouth open in shock. What the hell?

"Francesca. It's me, please ignore Lydia. Do not send a contract for whatever she's trying to pay you for. I will pay you whatever additional compensation you need." He says into the phone, his voice sounding angry and I roll my eyes in frustration and look out the window as he continues his conversation with Francesca. I can't hear anything she's saying so I tune Charles out because I'm too annoyed.

"Francesca said to send her your login information for your socials and she'll have someone on her team start working on moderating the comments for you. When we get to the restaurant I'll give you her number." Charles says after a few minutes. I don't say anything in response because anything I say will end with us arguing because I have no intentions of sending her my log in information now.

"So you're going to ignore me?" Charles asks a minute later, and I turn my gaze to him. His eyes flash from mine to the road and I realize that we are close to the restaurant now, thank god. I decide to keep my mouth shut, and I can tell he's getting frustrated with me but I don't think he understands why I'm frustrated with him. He's never understood why I feel so weird accepting his gifts and his help financially, even him helping Ezra with his sponsorship feels weird and debatably undeserving. When I don't say anything he growls in frustration and turns back to face the road fully. Neither of us say a word until Charles parks the car in front of the restaurant. I'm about to open my door and climb out of the car when Charles leans over and forces my door closed. He stares at me expectantly but I don't say a word. I know I'm being a brat. I know I'm being stubborn but I can't help it. My pride won't let me give in.

"Can we just go eat please?" I whisper, turning my head away from him and towards the window. He doesn't say anything for a moment but then leans away from me and open his door. The door slams a moment later causing me to flinch and I have to take a deep breath before opening my door and climbing out. Charles is waiting for me beside the car, but once I shut my door he takes off towards the restaurant without me. He's frustrated and angry with me but he still checks over his shoulder to make sure I'm following. When we enter the restaurant we're seated quickly in the outdoor patio at the back of the restaurant. As we sit down, a waiter immediately approaches our table.

"Hi, my name is Jonathan and I'll be your waiter today. I'm just going to come out and say this now, but I'm a huge fan of yours man! I heard you were in town but never would have expected to see you." He says to Charles, who is smiling politely at him. The waiter hardly acknowledges me but I make sure I maintain a soft smile in case we get photographed. Charles and him have a short conversation about F1 and the upcoming race before the waiter finally decides to take our drink order. Charles orders water but I opt for a whiskey sour needing some alcohol after all the drama we've had so far today. Once the waiter leaves, Charles turns his gaze onto me and we stare silently at one another for a few moments before I finally break the eye contact and grab my menu to figure out what I want to eat. I can feel Charles gaze on me as I look and I finally snap.

"Will you let Francesca know I won't be needing her help after all? Or give me her number now so I can do it." I say, setting my menu down and smiling sweetly at him just in case we're being watched. He smiles in return but I can see his anger and frustration clearly in his eyes.

"Absolutely not. I've hired her and her team to help me and you, Lydia. It's her job, so let her do her job." He replies, and picks up his menu to look at. I try to hide my frustration but fail. My smile falls from my face as I narrow my eyes at him.

"I never asked you to do that Charles!" I snap in utter frustration. His head whips up to look at me and I take a deep breath before continuing.

"I understand that you want to help me because you care about me. But you have to realize by now how it makes me feel when you do things like this without involving me in a discussion. First with Ezra's sponsorship and now with this. It makes me feel..." I say but I'm cut off at the arrival of the waiter delivering our drinks. He has no idea the conversation he's just interrupted, his eyes solely focused on Charles. I shake my head in annoyance but tell myself I need to get used to it because this is going to always happen.

"Are you ready to order?" The waiter asks Charles and I roll my eyes. It's like I'm not even here. Charles is about to answer when I interrupt.

"I'll have the chicken and waffles." I tell the waiter who looks startled when I speak, almost like he forgot I was even here and honestly he probably did forget. He writes down my order and then turns to Charles who orders some kind of Salmon dish. When he finally leaves I take a long swig of my drink and avoid Charles gaze.

"Mon soleil, please look at me." He whispers as he leans forward with his hand outstretched reaching for mine. I let him hold my hand and turn my gaze to his. He no longer looks angry or frustrated with me which softens my anger a little bit.

"Continue what you were saying before we were interrupted. Please?" He asks me like he genuine wants to know exactly how I feel. And I know he does, he wants this relationship to work and he's making sure that I know he's willing to fight with me and for me.

"I have a hard time letting people take care of me. I've been on my own for so long, struggling to just stay afloat, that if anyone ever tries to do something for me it feels like charity. Or that I'm not good enough to be able to provide it for myself or for Ez. I guess my pride just can't handle it and it makes me feel like a failure if I accept help. When I found out you were behind the sponsorship for Ez I was initially horrified. I'm his mother, I should have been the one to provide everything he ever needed. It made me feel like everything I had worked for his whole life, was still working for, was overshadowed the second I found out it was you who is keeping his dreams alive." I confess, and I'm trying so hard to keep my tears at bay. Charles looks horrified by what I'm saying and is about to respond when I ask him to let me finish. He shuts his mouth and nods while gripping my hand tighter.

"I was able to get over that quickly because it was for Ezra and it's helping him get to his end goal. And I'm thankful for that, all I've ever wanted was to make his dreams come true and I'm forever in your debt for helping him get there. But I'm having a harder time accepting your help this time and I don't really know why. Like I said, it's hard for me to accept help at no cost. It makes me feel like I'm taking advantage of you, your team, your money and your generosity." I finish my thoughts and stare at Charles to try to get a read on what he's thinking.

"Mon soleil, I never intended to make you feel any those things, especially when it comes to Ezra. I didn't know that you felt like I had taken away all of your hard work by doing what I did and I am so sorry for that. Honestly I thought I was selfish in my decision in sponsoring him. All I wanted to do was spend time with you and also make your life less stressful. I could see how tired you were and I thought I was saving you from ever having to worry about money again. As for our current predicament I negotiated in my contract PR coverage for the both of us. I was never going to hire someone who wouldn't accept working with the both of us because you are a non-negotiable for me and I needed whoever my team was going to be to know that you weren't going anywhere. Although at the time I wasn't fully convinced you were going to come back to me but I was hopeful. Francesca was the perfect choice, not only because she's Jules' cousin, but because she understood my need to protect you. After our first meeting she understood why I was so adamant about my terms and agreed with them. As for the compensation she's receiving from me, it's actually less than what I was paying my old PR team so I feel like you shouldn't be worried about my money. Besides, I want to provide for you because I love you. It's not because I don't think you couldn't afford it yourself or that I feel bad for you. It makes me feel good to know that you're taken care of, especially when I'm the one who is taking care of you."

By the time he's done with his speech I'm trying so hard not to cry. I love this man so much and he loves me just the same. Words don't come to me so I stand up and lean over the table so I can kiss him. As I pull away to sit back down he breaks out my favorite smile of his, with his dimples out on full display. It makes my stomach dip because it makes him look so f*cking handsome. How did I ever get so lucky?

"I love you so much LP. I'm sorry I've been such a crazy bitch today." I tell him once I'm settled back into my seat. He laughs at my comment and I can't help but laugh along with him.

"It's understandable. A lot has happened, not only today but this whole weekend. There's no need to apologize, I can handle anything you throw at me baby." He responds as he picks up his water and takes a drink. I can't help but get butterflies when he calls me baby. He's never called me that before and as much as I love when he calls me mon soleil, baby makes my stomach dip.

"Keep calling me baby and I might ask you to take me into the bathroom to have your way with me." I whisper and Charles chokes on his water and his eyes darken as he looks at me. I bite my lip and wink at him which makes his eyes darken even more.

"That's good to know. And while we're on the subject of nicknames that turn us on...earlier when you called me mon amour I realized I want nothing more than to hear you say that as I'm buried deep inside of you." He whispers back and I swear I nearly come on the spot. I have to clench my thighs together for some relief because h o l y s h i t that was sexy.

"f*ck." I whisper just as the waiter walks up to the table once more interrupting us but this time holding our food. He sets our plates down and asks us if we need anything else. I don't even look at him, my eyes are still locked on Charles who is still staring at me with those eyes. f*ck me.

"No, we don't need anything else. Please bring the check when you have a chance though. Thank you." Charles tells the waiter all while he f*cks me with his eyes. I hear the waiter mutter "sure thing" under his breath before walking away and we're finally free to talk again and hopefully without interruption now.

"You need to stop looking at me like that." I tell him and he smirks wickedly at me before responding.

"No, I don't think I will baby."

Chapter 44: It's Not Living (If It's Not With You)

Chapter Text

Charles POV

"No, I don't think I will baby."

I know I'm playing with fire by saying this but I can't stop myself. Lydia's gaze turns heated and I so desperately want her. She's so beautiful and now that I know she's turned on, I want nothing more than to hear her moaning beneath me. But we're in public and we're holding off on sex until she is ready, which based on how things have gone so far today, she is not. We still have a lot to work through before she fully trusts me again but I think we've made headway in the right direction and I'm one step closer to getting her back fully.

"You're playing with fire mon amour." She tells me as she cuts a piece of her chicken and waffles. I watch her carefully as she brings her first bite to her mouth. She licks her lips in anticipation and then opens her mouth wide. The moan that she makes as she chews should be illegal. It sounds so much like how she does when I'm making her come, it's not fair. I know what she's doing though, teasing me. And it's completely f*cking working. My dick is getting harder by the second as I watch her and if I don't start to think about something else then I'm going to embarrass myself.

"Okay mon soleil, you've made your point. Now for the love of god please stop moaning like that. I beg of you." I tell her in all seriousness as I pick up my fork and start eating my own food.

Lydia doesn't respond to me, she just smiles wickedly and continues eating, except now she's silent. It's still torture to watch her eat though, watching her lick her lips free of syrup is downright sinful. I'm distracted by her when the waiter approaches our table again, this time with the check like I requested. He doesn't linger this time, thank god, probably because of how I ignored him earlier. Grabbing my wallet out of my back pocket I slide my card into the slot indicating I'm ready to pay and then continue eating at a record pace. Not because I'm starving but because I am ready to get out of this restaurant.

"What's the rush?" Lydia asks when she notices how fast I'm eating and I glance up at her to see she's almost done with her food as well. I don't respond to her, just give her a knowing look to which she fully understands based on how she squirms slightly in her chair. Thankfully the waiter comes back and takes our check and returns with it swiftly.

Quickly filling out the receipt I make sure to tip the waiter generously and then we're walking out the restaurant hand in hand as we make our way to the car. Before Lydia can climb in though, I push her gently against her door and show her how turned on I am. She gasps as she feels my hard on against her heat and I smirk, enjoying how she squirms against me. I'm glad I'm not the only one who is suffering in this. I'm so desperate for her but I won't force myself on her or try to change her mind. Instead I push myself off of her so I'm no longer pressing into her and then I kiss her gently.

"I love you." I whisper as I pull away and open her door for her. After she climbs in and before I can shut the door she pulls me towards her and kisses me again.

"I love you too. Thank you for lunch." She says once she pulls away and I smile brightly glad that we seem to be back to normal. I give her a wink as I close her door and head around to climb into the drivers side. We don't have far to go since the mall is in the same area as the restaurant so I head in the direction of a parking structure so we can park. Lydia is on her phone while I find a parking spot, but I can't help but notice her expression.

"What's wrong?" I ask just as I find a spot and pull in. Turning the car off, I turn towards her.

"Can I have Francesca's number?" She asks sounding off and I furrow my brows but grab my phone from my back pocket so I can get Francesca's number for her. I read it off to her and watch her as she pulls up her text messages so she can message her. After a few moments, she looks up at me and smiles sadly and my heart surges in my chest at her expression.

"Sorry, I just read a horrible DM and it threw me off." She tells me as she leans forward towards me and rests her head against my shoulder.

"Show me. I want to see it." I tell her, anger evident in my voice. She hesitates for a moment but eventually hands me her phone, pulling up the message so I can read it myself.

cl_l0v3r_16: i hope u get r*ped so charles leaves you. ur such a whor*

My stomach churns as I read the message. I'm shaking in anger. How do people think that it's okay to say that to someone. It's disgusting and vile. I knew she had been getting hate since everything came out between us but I didn't think it was anything like this. Closing that message I now scroll through the rest of her DM's. Most of them are nice and supportive but there are still plenty of awful ones.

l!ght$out16: leave charles alone!

box16box55box: ur a whor*

chacha4eva: i hope u kys

I'm still trying to read through them when Lydia grabs her phone from my hand. I try to grab it back so I can keep reading, having the urge to read every single bad message so I can see how bad it actually is. She never told me this was going on, has she just been dealing with this behind the scenes for weeks? Don't get me wrong I knew there were bad messages, but most of them were essentially harmless. I didn't realize the truly vile ones were in her DM's which is so stupid of me. But I never expected there to be wishing horrible things upon her or telling her to kill herself. It makes me sick.

"How long has this been going on?!" I demand and she flinches at my tone and I instantly feel awful for scaring her but I'm having trouble controlling my anger.

"Since the media released my name over summer break." She whispers. I shut my eyes in frustration as I realize she's been dealing with this for almost 2 months. Why did she never tell me? Even if we weren't talking to each other, she should have told me so I could have done something. I thought my initial statement was enough, because it seemed to have died down after that but I was so naïve. Lydia's phone starts ringing, distracting me from my anger for a moment.

"Hi Francesca...I" Lydia answers and I grab the phone from her and press the speaker button so I can hear the conversation as well. Lydia narrows her eyes at me in annoyance but I could not care at the moment.

"Francesca please tell me that you have someone working on this immediately. These messages are absolutely unacceptable." I interrupt, having a hard time controlling how I'm feeling at the moment.

"Char, I have the whole team working on it. Everything will be cleaned up as soon as possible. We're blocking anyone who says anything harmful or inappropriate and deleting any messages and comments that are essentially harmless but rude."

"Make sure you block every single person on my account that you block on hers. I do not want them as supporters." I demand and I can feel Lydia's gaze on mine.

"We will do that. Anything else you would like me to do?" Francesca asks and I can't help but be grateful I have a team that will work on this after hours on a Sunday.

"No, that will be all. Thank you for doing this after hours. We appreciate it." I tell her and I finally turn to look at Lydia, my anger now fizzling as I realize my team is working hard to help her.

"Francesca, before you go. I was wondering if it would be okay if I do a question and answer on my Instagram? I'm getting a lot of questions and I feel like if I answer some that things might die down a bit." Lydia asks.

"I think that's a great idea. You don't have to ask my permission either, Lydia." Francesca responds with a laugh and I smile, happy knowing that she's not going to micromanage us on social media.

"Okay, awesome! I just wanted to make sure that I didn't make your job harder." Lydia replies with a laugh.

"Don't worry about that! I trust you not to say or do anything too out of pocket and if you do then we'll figure it out. But like I said, I'm not worried." Francesca responds which makes Lydia and myself laugh.

A few minutes later we are hanging up with Francesca. She told Lydia that she'll set up the question and answer prompt on Instagram so we can continue on with our day. Lydia seems fine for the most part once we hang up. I'm still fuming but I feel better knowing that my team is working on fixing the issue. I know it will probably still happen, that the messages will keep coming but now I hope Lydia won't have to read them.

"Today has been a whirlwind. I'm ready to forget everything and try on some cute clothes." Lydia tells me as she puts her phone away in her purse and opens her car door. We head into the mall hand in hand.

"I'm ready to buy you anything you want baby." I tell her and she rolls her eyes but smiles. I hope that means that she will actually let me.

Thirty minutes later I'm sitting in the dressing room of a store called Free People waiting for Lydia to show me the things that she's trying on. Right when we walked into the store a sales associate approached us asking if we needed help finding anything to which Lydia was about to say no but I interrupted. I explained that we are shopping mainly for a dress for my birthday but also just for fun. Lydia rolls her eyes at me but I just wink at her. The sales associate smiles and turned to Lydia asking what colors she prefers and what sizes she would want. Lydia told her that she doesn't really care about color but would like to see more reds, blacks and whites but isn't opposed to patterns or other colors. I can't keep the smile off my face when I hear her say red which she notices and rolls her eyes again.

The sales associates face changed then and I see the moment she must recognize me. Luckily she didn't make a big fuss, just silently told me that she watches F1 occasionally because of her boyfriend who is a Red Bull fan. She then started to get to work on finding things for Lydia to try on, while both Lydia and I also looked around. Once there was a good amount of things to try on the sales associate led us to a separate dressing room apart from the others in the store, letting us know that this one is used for VIP's. Lydia rolled her eyes at this but I was thankful for the privacy.

"Are you ever going to show me anything you're trying on mon soleil?" I shout out to her as I check my phone for messages. There's some text messages from a group chat that I have with a few other drivers on the grid that I have neglected to read since I've landed in Texas.

Pierre: Charles, am I not your best friend?

Pierre: How am I hearing from Twitter that you and Lydia are back together?

Carlos: THEY'RE WHAT?!

Carlos: Charles, I'm your teammate! How did I not know?

Lando: You guys knew what our plan was!

Max: Yeah, why are you acting so surprised?

Pierre: Because I didn't actually think it was going to work!!!

Carlos: Me neither honestly. I'm shocked.

Me: Thanks for the confidence mates.

Pierre: Omg, he's alive!

I'm about to respond to Pierre when I see a glimpse of red in front of me. I look up to see Lydia standing before me looking so f*cking sexy in a bright red mini dress. It's flowy and loose along her stomach and thighs, but tight along the boobs. It's so damn short so her legs are on full display and I'm having a hard time concentrating. She spins so I can see the back of the dress and I see that her back is completely exposed, with only a thin tie around her neck and a thin tie around her waist. Everything else is just skin and I have to tell myself to behave as I feel my dick starts getting hard.

"f*ck baby. I love you in red, it drives me crazy." I tell her as I take her in. Her dark hair and creamy skin in contrast to the red is out of this world. She's so beautiful it hurts to look at her sometimes. She smiles brightly at me and I swear the world stopped. Without thinking I stand up and walk over to her. Grabbing her hips and pulling her against me as I toy with the strings at her back, I realize how easy it would be to untie them and see the dress fall away from her gorgeous body. f*ck me. She moans lightly as she feels my hard on against her and I have to force myself not to grind against her. This is not the time or place.

"Let me see the next one." I whisper in her ear before releasing her and walking away to go sit back in my spot. Her eyes are squeezed shut and she takes a deep breath before turning and walking into the dressing room. This is going to be absolute torture.

I was right. Absolute torture. Every time Lydia steps out of that dressing room I feel my dick getting harder and harder. She's just so damn beautiful and I am just so damn horny. Finally after what feels like hours of torture but is probably only about thirty minutes she's tried everything on and is now back in her normal clothes.

"How did everything work out?" The sales associate asks, appearing out of thin air and startling me. Lydia laughs at my reaction but I ignore her and turn to the sales associate.

"We'll be getting everything she tried on." I tell her and her eyes widen in surprise as she processes my words and then she's heading into the dressing room and grabbing all of the items to take them to the check out counter. Lydia and I follow behind her and I glance at Lydia ready for the fight that I know is about to happen.

"You're ridiculous, you know that?" She says with a sigh. I nod in agreement although I don't think I'm being ridiculous whatsoever. To my surprise she doesn't say anything more. A few minutes later we're walking out of the store with four bags full of clothes. Lydia stops me and turns to face me and I realize that she was waiting until we left the store to yell at me. Damn.

"Thank you mon amour." She tells me sweetly and then kisses me. I'm shocked to say the least but I don't miss the opportunity to kiss her back. When she finally pulls away I tell her it's no problem and ask her if there's anywhere else she wants to go.

"Let's go to Neiman Marcus. I need to buy a suitcase after getting all these new clothes." She tells me and I can't help but laugh as I start walking in the direction of the store.

We find the luggage easy enough and she picks out one quickly since there was limited options in the store. As we're walking through the department store to find a check out counter, we pass the jewelry and I can't help but stop and look at what they have. Lydia rolls her eyes but stops and looks with me.

"You know you're not wearing any jewelry I bought you since you returned it all and it's in Monaco. I think that means I should buy you something new." I tell her as I look around at their selection.

"There's one piece of jewelry that's mine. You can give it back you know and then you won't have to spend any more money on me." She says with a smile.

"Nope. This bracelet is mine now. Besides you have another one already..." I say, eyeing the Cartier bracelet that's on her wrist. Lydia shakes her head at that and laughs as she turns to look back at some necklaces below her in the display case. I step up behind her and look over her shoulder to look at them too. They are initial necklaces that have old english style letters but they aren't the typical initial necklaces you often see. These ones are fully black, with a black chain, black metal and black diamond accents. It's not her typical style so I'm surprised to see her interest in them. A sales associate finally notices us looking at the display and walks over.

"Hi folks, anything you would like to see?" The older man asks with a Texan accent and I smile at him before turning to Lydia for an answer.

"Can we see this necklace right here?" She asks, pointing down at the initial necklace. The sales associate asks which letter she would like to see which she replies saying she'd want to see the 'L' and the 'C'. A moment later the sales associate has both necklaces on top of the glass so we can look at them. Lydia looks at them briefly before telling him that we'll get both. The man smiles broadly and we follow him to the check out counter. Luckily we're able to also pay for the luggage here so we don't have to go anywhere else. A couple of minutes later we're walking out with our items and heading back to the car.

"I'm trying to not freak out about how much you just spent on me in the span of a couple of hours but thank you, again. I love you." Lydia tells me as we walk through the mall.

"You're welcome mon soleil. I love you too." I reply and I pull her against me and kiss the top of her head as we walk. If you would have told me a week ago that I would have Lydia back in my life and I'd be able to spoil her once again I would have never believed it. But I am so f*cking thankful that it's true and that it's happening. I am so happy and I hope it stays like this forever.

Chapter 45: American Money

Chapter Text

Lydia's POV

When we walk outside to the car, the weather has changed and there are dark clouds hovering above us. A crack of thunder rumbles around us and I feel a rain drop fall onto my forehead. I look up at the sky and realize we need to try to get to the car quick before the sky opens up. Grabbing Charles hand, I start running towards the parking structure. I'm sure we look ridiculous, Charles carrying loaded bags and me dragging a suitcase after us but I don't care. Even with the running we don't make it before the sky starts dumping rain. A squeal as we continue to run, the rain completely drenching us in the process.

A few moments later we finally make it to the parking structure but it doesn't matter, we're completely soaked. My white teeshirt is so see through that you can see the outline of my bralette and my jeans are stuck to me. I can't help but laugh though, in a way it's refreshing especially after all the drama of the day. Charles is staring at me laughing, with a soft smile on his face. His dimples are so prominent but that's not what I'm distracted by at the moment. No, I'm distracted by his wet hair falling loosely around his forehead. His eyes look extra green right now because of the lighting and I swear I fall in love with him all over again.

This is not the first time today that I've regretted my no sex rule. sh*t it's not even the first time in the last hour that I've regretted it. Not only am I just physically so attracted to him, but everything he's done for me today is pulling on my heartstrings. He's been so supportive and attentive with me and I can feel myself starting to trust him again already. It's easy to do when we're spending all our time together, the true test is when we're apart. That's why I need to stick to my no sex rule even if it's killing me. When we get to the car we load up everything into the trunk, but I make sure to grab the bag with the necklaces we bought before climbing into the passenger seat. Charles climbs in a moment later and turns on the car, and then turns to me.

"Where to now?" He asks me and I grab my phone out of my purse. I haven't checked it since we talked to Francesca and when I look at it I notice I have a ton of notifications. She must have posted the question and answer prompt. Ignoring that for now, I pull up the address to a party supply store nearby and connect my phone to the GPS. Charles pulls out of the parking spot a moment later as I press play on our playlist so it's playing quietly as we drive. It's still pouring down rain and it's causing a lot of traffic. While Charles focuses on driving safely, I take the necklaces out of the bag, grabbing the 'C' and taking it carefully out of it's packaging so I can put it around my neck. I've just finished clasping it when I can see Charles looking at me in my peripherals.

"How does it look?" I ask excitedly as I turn towards him so he can check it out. His answering smile makes my stomach dip.

"It looks great baby. I didn't realize that seeing my initial around your neck would make me feel the way I do." He says darkly and I bite my lip as I process what his words mean. He glances down at the other necklace in my lap and then turns his gaze back to the road.

"Does that mean the 'L' is for me? So I can wear your initial around my neck too?" He asks and I try to hide my smile as I look down at the necklace.

"It can also stand for Leclerc if you feel weird about wearing my initial. Or you don't have to wear it at all and I can wear it sometimes instead." I say quietly, not really sure how he feels about wearing my initial. It's kind of a silly idea, but when I saw the necklaces I thought it would be a nice way to show each other we're thinking of one another even when we're away from one another. A reminder that we love each other.

"Lydia...I love the idea of wearing your initial around my neck even more than you wearing mine." He says and butterflies take flight in my stomach as he grabs my thigh and squeezes. I lean over the center console then and kiss his cheek because damn, I love him so much. Leaning back into my seat, I check my phone to see how many questions I'm actually getting. When I check my notifications I see there are currently about 60 questions so far and it seems like more are coming. My mouth drops in shock because I wasn't expecting to get that many.

"What's wrong?" Charles asks me and I glance over at him and see his eyebrows are furrowed with concern.

"Nothing. I'm just surprised. Francesca posted the question and answer prompt on Instagram and I already have around 60 questions. I just wasn't expecting so many." I tell him as I scroll through the list of questions to see what people are asking. There are a lot of repeat questions which is expected, along with some questions that will not be answered because they are inappropriate, and there are some hate comments as well which was also expected. Charles turns his gaze to mine and he looks just as shocked as I am.

"It's only been what...two hours since she posted that?" He asks and I nod as I click out of Instagram for now and set my phone down in the center console. To my surprise I see what we are only a block from the party supply store.

"Mon amour, can I ask you a favor?" I ask sweetly to which he turns his gaze to me suspiciously as he pulls into the parking lot of the party supply store and parks.

"Yes..." He says suspiciously and I can't help but giggle.

"I need you to stay in the car while I go inside to shop. I want tomorrow to be a surprise and if you go in with me you're going to guess part of it." I tell him to which he starts pouting. Leaning across the center console, I give him a quick kiss and then quickly unbuckle my seatbelt and grab my purse. Before he can protest I open the door.

"I promise I'll be quick!" I shout to him as I climb out of the car into the rain and slam the door behind me. I'm laughing as I run to the front of the store and quickly run inside. Looking back to make sure Charles stayed in the car, I see him staring at me with a smirk. I blow him a kiss and then walk further into the store so I can find the decorations I need.

Fifteen minutes $200 later, I'm walking out of the store with three bags full of items for the party. I bought enough glow sticks to light an airport runway, glow in the dark balloons, a black light, bubble machine, streamers in every bright color that I could find, fun little glow in the dark trinkets like sunglasses, whistles and temporary tattoos, disco ball party cups, and mini disco balls to hang up. I probably went overboard but I couldn't help it, I'm just too excited.

Luckily it's no longer raining when I step out of the doors of the store. Charles looks up at me as I walk towards the car and he narrows his eyes at the amount of bags I'm carrying. Walking to the back of the car I open the trunk and decide to put everything in my suitcase so Charles can't see the decorations. When I climb into the passenger seat once I'm done Charles is staring at me like I'm crazy. I raise my eyebrows at him questioningly.

"Was that really necessary?" He asks me with a laugh and I roll my eyes before responding that yes it was necessary. I notice that he's wearing the 'L' initial necklace around his neck and I now understand what he meant earlier when he saw me wearing the 'C'. It's like we have a claim to one another now that we're wearing them. I'm not sure that it's healthy but I can't seem to care.

"Where to now mon soleil?"

"We can go back to the airbnb unless you have somewhere you need or want to go." I tell him as I buckle my seat belt and grab my phone from my purse. He tells me he doesn't have anything he needs to do so I connect my phone to the gps so we can get back safely.

A moment later Charles is pulling out of the parking lot and heading back to the airbnb. Our playlist is playing in the background as we drive through the city and we are talking about our plans for the rest of the day. My plans are to finalize the party details while Charles is going to get a second workout in. Then we're going to eat some dinner. After dinner I'm planning on answering the questions on Instagram while we watch movies for the rest of the night until we decide to go to bed.

When we get back to the airbnb, Charles grabs the bags of clothes he bought me and I grab the suitcase. As we enter the house, I'm surprised to see Max and Kelly sitting in the living room. I assumed that they had needed up going to the festival.

"Hey lovebirds, how has your day been?" Kelly says as we walk further into the house.

"Umm eventful, but good." I reply with a smile. My reply makes Charles snort though which causes both Kelly and Max to look at us questioningly.

"What happened?" Max asks with a chuckle.

"Well we went to the police station, where they proceeded to tell me that the girl who assaulted me posted bail and that it was my parents who posted it. Then Charles and I had an argument about his excessive need to take care of me." I say and laugh when Charles rolls his eyes at me before continuing.

"Then I got a horrible DM on Instagram saying they hope I get r*ped and that Charles leaves me because of it which led us to having Francesca help me manage my social media for awhile. After that we went shopping and it turned out to be a lovely afternoon."

"Wait, what?!" Kelly shouts and I can't help but laugh because after saying it all out loud it sounds absolutely ridiculous.

"How can you be laughing right now? You just said your parents are the ones who bailed out the girl who assaulted you. And on top of that you're having to deal with psychos DMing you horrible things?!" She continues sounding very concerned and I stop laughing because I know she's actually really worried.

"I don't know what else to do but laugh, Kell. There's not much I can do at the moment besides trying to not let it bother me so I don't have a complete break down." I reply sadly and I feel Charles come up behind me and wrap his arms around my hips and hug me tightly against him. I relax into him and take the comfort he's providing me like it's a lifeline.

"How do the police know it was your parents who posted bail?" Max asks with confusion.

"It's public record who posts bail which I guess they didn't realize? I don't know, but the police recognized the last name and thought it was weird so that's why they called me down to ask if I knew who they were." I tell him and he frowns.

"Why would they do that though? You haven't spoken to them for 16 years, right?" He continues.

"Right. My theory is that they are angry with me for Ezra returning all of the money they had been sending him. I'm sure they think I made him do that and are now angry with me because they don't have any leverage to do whatever they were planning. My worry is that they sent that girl to follow me and to try to provoke me into assaulting her so I would be the one to get arrested. I really think they are trying to gain control of Ezra for some reason, and they think if they can get him taken from me it will be easier for them to manipulate him." I confess my theory that I've been pondering over all day.

"You're serious?" Charles asks as he leans forward so he can see my face and I nod and I watch his expression darken in anger. Max's expression mirrors Charles and Kelly looks like she wants to cry.

"Okay, let's get off this subject. Like I said, there's nothing that we can do about it all now so let's not theorize or dwell on anything for now." I say, trying to turn the mood back around but no one says anything.

"Charles, you said you wanted to get another workout in. Why don't you and Max go do that while Kelly and I start dinner?" I announce, and pull myself away from Charles grip.

He and Max begrudgingly agree and then go to their rooms to change before heading out for another workout. After they leave, I make my way into the kitchen to see what we have that we can make for dinner. I find everything for a chicken pesto pasta dish and set up everything to prep. There's also a bottle of white wine that I find which I grab and immediately open. Kelly walks into the kitchen as I'm grabbing wine glasses from the cupboard.

"Wine?" I ask as I turn towards her. She nods as she surveys the array of food I have set out. I pour us generous glasses of wine and put the bottle back in the refrigerator. Kelly takes the glass of wine from my outstretched hand and we cheers before drinking. I take a long swig of mine, needing it after the day I had.

"I saw that you're going to be a question and answer on your Instagram. Are you sure that's a good idea?" She asks me as I find a pan to cook the chicken in.

"I don't want to hide Kelly. I'm going to get hate no matter what I do, and maybe if I answer some questions people have the haters will either move on or I'll gain more supporters and they'll drown out the hate. Either way it's something I feel like I need to do." I tell her and I grab the chicken so I can cut it into strips.

"You're so incredible. With the amount of bullsh*t you've had to deal with lately, you're still so positive and happy." She tells me and I can't help but smile as I think about why I am that way.

"It's because I have such a strong support system. If this all happened a year ago things would be severely different." I tell her as I throw the chicken in the pan and season it.

For the next half hour, Kelly and I continue to talk while I cook. We discuss Charles' birthday and what we still need to do. We still need to get the booze and food which I think I'm going to ask Jeremy if he can do that since he has a Costco card and it will be cheaper to buy everything there and I won't have time to do it myself.

My plan for tomorrow is to wake up early and cook Charles breakfast and then I'm assuming he'll have to work out but after that I'm going to take him to a local karting track where Arthur, Ezra, Lorenzo and Charlotte will be waiting for us and we'll spend a few hours racing as a family. After that we'll have lunch and then head back to the airbnb to relax until we have to get ready for dinner. Then while we're gone everyone will get to the airbnb and help decorate and set up everything so then when Charles and I get back to the house he will be surprised. I'm so excited thinking about it and I can't wait to spend the day spoiling my man.

"Do you think you'll break your no sex rule tomorrow?" Kelly asks me randomly and I hesitate before answering. I've been debating with myself all day about this exact question and I still haven't made up my mind.

"I want to say I'm planning on sticking to my no sex rule but I'm not sure anymore." I confess which makes her laugh.

Before we can continue our conversation we hear the door open and shut and a moment later Charles and Max are walking into the kitchen, both smiling which I'm thankful for.

"It smells amazing in here. What did you make?" Charles says as he makes his way over to where I'm standing by the stove. He looks at the pasta and groans in excitement.

"My favorite." He whispers as he leans in to kiss my cheek and I can't help but shiver.

"You two should shower and we'll dish everything so we can eat." Kelly announces and without any hesitation both boys listen and head to take showers.

While they're gone Kelly and I dish four plates of pasta and garlic bread for each of us as well as four bowls of a mixed greens salad. Finally I pour four glasses of wine and set them on the table as well. Just as we are placing the cutlery on the table, both boys arrive in the dining room and we all sit down to eat.

After we finish eating the boys agree to be the ones to clean up so Kelly and I head into the living room to pick out a movie for all four of us to watch. We end up picking P.S. I love you. Kelly and the boys have never seen it before much to my shock. We all get settled in and start the movie. While the three of them watch the movie, I pull out my phone and pull up Instagram so I can start answering questions. Everything is going great at first with the typical questions I expected but then some that I wasn't expecting. It's not until in about 25 questions in that I start getting hate messages. I debate responding to them or just ignoring them but I decide that I'm not going to hide from them so I start replying to some of them, mainly the ones that are essentially harmless, but then I get one that pisses me off and ruins my whole mood and I decide it will be the last comment I reply to for the night. Stupid haters ruining it for everyone.

Chapter 46: All I Wanted

Chapter Text

Charles POV

I'm currently watching one of the saddest movies I've seen in a long time while keeping an eye on Lydia who is answering her Instagram questions. Something seems wrong though because she is no longer smiling like before. I'm trying not to pry and let her do her own thing but it's hard when all I want to do is make sure she's okay. A few minutes after I notice the change in her demeanor she sets her phone down beside her.

Glimpsing at her I see her eyes watering. That could be from the questions or because of the movie, I literally have no idea. Instead of asking her what's wrong I just pull her closer to me and reposition us so we are cuddling into one another. I grab the blanket that's hanging over the edge of the section of the couch we are on and cover us up. Lydia relaxes into me and I feel content.

After the day we had today, and what we discovered I'm just glad that she's safe in my arms. Max and I had a long discussion about her parents and we both agree that I need to hire a private investigator to see what they can find out about them and what their motive is with all of this. I also realized today that I need to hire a personal assistant, so that's my first goal tomorrow morning so I can have them find a PI for me as soon as possible. I'm so lost in my thoughts that I couldn't tell you what was going on in the movie anymore. The only thing that breaks me from my thoughts is Lydia rolling towards me so now we are facing each other.

"You're driving me crazy." She whispers and for a moment I'm confused until I realize that I had been absentmindedly running my fingers along her thigh. My fingers still feeling her skin even though I'm no longer touching her. I can't help but smirk at her, happy knowing that I'm driving her just as crazy as she's been driving me. She looks so beautiful staring up at me that I can't help but lean forward and kiss her. I don't linger since Max and Kelly are literally only feet away from us. Instead I pull her tighter against me and try to pay attention to the movie. It's extremely hard when I have the girl of my dreams in my arms and she's running her if fingers along the chain of my necklace. I shiver when she places a soft kiss along my neck and my co*ck hardens against her thigh. She shifts positions so now my co*ck is nestled between her legs. I don't know if it was on purpose or if she just wanted to be more comfortable, but either way I have to hold in the moan that is threatening to fly out of my mouth.

She kisses my neck again and I know she's doing it on purpose now. I don't know if I want her to stop teasing me or if I want her to keep going. It's torture but it's also heaven. I'm so distracted by her that I don't realize the movie credits are rolling until I hear Max and Kelly talking.

"Do you think they realize we are still here?" Max says with a chuckle and I glance over at him somewhat dazed as I realize he and Kelly are just staring at us.

"Didn't forget mate. Why are you just staring at us?" I answer as I roll my eyes. Lydia is laughing into my chest like she thinks this is the funniest thing in the world. But I'm annoyed that Max is giving me sh*t. He should be happy for me that I finally have my girl back and that I'll finally stop bitching to him about it every day.

"It's hard not to stare. You two are adorable." Kelly replies with a smile and a little bit of my annoyance dissipates. Lydia now decides to roll back around so she can see Max and Kelly. I groan quietly in her ear when her ass rubs along my co*ck and I bury my face in her hair to hide my absolute desire to take her right here.

"Do you guys want to watch another movie?" Lydia asks like she didn't just make my torture 100 times worse. Max and Kelly agree and then the girls are trying to figure out what to watch next while I try to get my hardening co*ck to chill out. I'm going through the Monaco GP track in my head to try to distract myself from Lydia's body against mine when Max distracts me.

"What the f*ck Lydia!" He shouts and my gaze flies to him to see what he's yelling at her about. His phone is in his hand and the screen is pointing towards where we are laying. Lydia doesn't say anything just starts giggling and I furrow my brows in confusion. Kelly also looks confused so she grabs Max's phone and looks at the screen.

"What the hell? Lydia!" She shouts out while laughing. What the f*ck is going on?

"Let me see." I demand and Kelly hands me Max's phone so I can see what they are all going on about. As I look at it, I see it's a response to one of Lydia's questions on Instagram. The message she received was a hate message telling her to unalive herself. My body tenses at the message and I pull her tightly towards me. I hate that there are people, supposed fans of mine, sending her these types of messages.

It's a second later that I see her response. It's a meme of Sid the Sloth from Ice Age and it reads 'No thanks. I choose life." which is funny and I can't help but smile at her witty comeback to such an awful message. But when I realize she tagged Max in the post I can't help the laugh that flies out of my mouth.

Social media has compared Max to Sid for awhile now saying they look alike and it's been a constant joke amongst us drivers. It makes me laugh that Lydia also knows about this and has made her already witty response even more so. As I hand the phone back to Max he's trying hard to hide his smile. I know he thinks it's funny. He lasts many five seconds before he's laughing along with us.

Once we all settle down from our laughter the girls end up putting another movie on. I couldn't tell you what it was because I wasn't paying attention. Instead I'm on my phone looking through all of the questions that Lydia answered. I learn some new things as I go through them and also develop an even deeper admiration for everything she's gone through to raise Ezra. I'm overwhelmed by her in every way possible and right when I think I can't love her any more, she does something to make me fall even harder.

Like when she was asked about what dandelions mean to us, I wasn't expecting to get a lump in my throat when I read she was thinking about forever with me after our first date. I mean I knew the lyrics to the song but I didn't read that deeply into it at the time. Part of me wishes I wouldn't have been such a complete idiot when it came to her, but in a way it's good everything happened like it did because now we seem to be heading into a relationship that's more solid.

I'm smiling at my phone as I'm reading her answers, even with the responses to the hate messages she posts make me smile because she's not letting them win. She's calling them out and doing it in such a funny way that I admire. I'm not sure how Francesca will feel about it but we'll deal with that tomorrow. Nothing she posted in response is bad in my eyes but some people might not think it's funny. I don't care though, I'm glad my girl is not letting the haters ruin her happy disposition. She is my sunshine after all.

"So you're in your slu*t era?" I whisper in her ear with a chuckle after I read all of the responses she made. My hand pulls her hips harder against me and I slowly slide it up and into her shirt lightly caressing along her stomach up towards her breasts. She wiggles against me and I can't help but smirk into her hair as I press my growing hard on against her ass. Her hand finds my thigh under the blanket and she squeezes hard, her nails pressing into my skin in warning but I can't seem to care.

I move my hand further up and now tease around her breasts with my fingertips. Before she can protest I run a fingertip along her nipple causing it to harden beneath my touch. Her breathing hitches and mine quickens when the hand she had on my thigh slides between us, grazing along my co*ck. I groan deeply in her ear as my eyes squeeze shut at the sensation coursing through my body by a mere graze of her fingers against me...over multiple layers of fabric. I feel like a teenager again.

My fingertip slides over her nipple again, but this time I swirl over it for a few seconds before moving my hand back down her stomach and lower until I reach her underwear. I let my fingers slide just slightly into her pants, teasing her before I slide them back up towards her belly button. Her breathing is becoming more labored like mine. I'm torturing us both but I can't seem to stop and it doesn't seem like she wants me to either.

For the next hour we continue teasing one another. I'm so f*cking hard that it's starting to hurt but I never want this to stop. I know she's hurting just as much as me based on how much she's squirming against me which isn't helping me whatsoever. Finally the movie ends and we can hopefully stop this torture.

Max and Kelly decide that they are going to go to bed but Lydia and I don't move. They smirk at us as we tell them goodnight and a moment later they are gone and we are finally alone. Without waiting another moment, my lips are on her neck and my hand is squeezing her breast. She moans and presses her ass against my co*ck and I almost come on the spot but by the grace of god I don't.

"Charles." She whispers roughly. I don't respond, I'm too crazed as I lick along her neck up towards her ear.

"Charles, stop." She says and when I hear the word stop, I do even though I don't think she actually wants me to but I'm not about to rock the boat.

"Sorry. sh*t, I'm sorry." I tell her as I move my hand off her boob and run it through my hair to try to distract myself from how badly I want her.

She slowly sits up and stands from the couch and I hope to god that she's not upset with me. I can't bring myself to look at her. She was a willing participant throughout the movie but now I went too far and I'm disappointed with myself. My hands are now covering my face as I deal with my frustration in myself. A moment later I feel Lydia's hands pulling mine away from my face. I stare up at her to see her looking down at me with furrowed brows. She looks absolutely adorable.

"Let's go to bed." She tells me as she intertwines one of his hands with mine and pulls me up from the couch. She guides us silently to our bedroom and shuts the door behind us and locks it. I watch silently as she walks to the bedside table and sets her phone down. She checks something on the screen before turning her gaze towards me. I stare at her awkwardly, I can't tell if she's upset with me or not. Her expression is neutral as she stares at me but there's something happening within her eyes, like she's debating with herself.

Suddenly she's walking towards me with determination and I brace myself for a fight about boundaries. She stops only inches away from me and looks up at me as I take a deep breath, ready for her to yell at me. Instead she grabs the hem of my shirt and pulls it over my head. I stare at her with confusion as she drops the shirt on the ground and turns her beautiful blue gaze back towards me.

The next thing I know she's removing her own shirt, followed by her bra. I swallow hard as my eyes roam over her breasts. f*ck me, she's so sexy. My eyes eventually go back to her eyes which are so full of need that it takes everything in me not to touch her. I'm not sure what's happening right now, but she's the one running the show, not me. So I wait to see what she does next. She's so close to me that I feel the heat radiating off her gorgeous body. I just want to touch her, feel her body against mine with no barriers, just skin to skin.

She takes another step closer to me and her breasts slightly pressing against my chest and I have to squeeze my hands into fists to keep from touching her. She places a soft kiss along my jaw and I moan as so many sensations flow through my body. I close my eyes and try to focus on not embarrassing myself when I suddenly feel her hands at my hips. The next thing I know she's pulling my sweats and boxer briefs off of me, bending down as she nudges my legs indicating she needs my help. My gaze flies down to see her on her knees in front of me and I nearly short circuit.

Doing as she wishes I move my legs so she can remove my pants. She stares at my co*ck for a moment and licks her lips before standing back up. I bite my lip so hard as her hand grazes my co*ck on her way back up that I'm pretty sure I'm bleeding. This girl is going to be the death of me.

I'm now standing before her completely naked and I still don't know what her end goal is. Neither of us have said a word since we came in here and I'm not about to start now. Lydia is now unbuttoning her jeans and I watch as she slowly starts pushing them down her body, followed by her underwear. My breathing is ragged as I stare at her standing completely naked in front of me.

"You're so beautiful baby." I tell her as I glance up and down her body. She's all of my fantasies put together and I can't believe she's mine. I will do everything in my power to not f*ck this relationship up because there's nothing more that I want but to give her my last name.

Something in her gaze changes as I stare at her and the next thing I know she's stepping into me and kissing me. I don't hesitate once I feel her lips on mine, her body pressed up against me. Without a second thought I lift her up by her thighs and walk us over to the bed all while kissing her like she's my everything. Placing her down gently against the mattress, I move my lips along to her neck and place soft kisses from her ear down to her collarbone. She's moaning while her fingers tangle into my hair. When I reach the tops of her breasts I look up at her to make sure it's okay.

"Don't stop." She whispers frantically and that's all I need to hear before my mouth descends on her nipple and I swirl my tongue on the peaked nub. She moans so loudly that I gently cup my hand over her mouth to quiet her down since we aren't alone in this house. Sucking on her nipple once more she bucks against me while pulling my hair and my eyes roll back into my head at the sensation. Moving down her body now, I make my way down her body. Sliding slightly off the bed so I'm now on my knees before her, I gently open her legs so I can see her beautiful puss*. She's soaked and it makes my mouth water and dick harden even more than it already was.

After all of the teasing we did earlier I know it won't take long to make her cum. But I want to make her squirm a little bit longer. With one of my fingers, I slide along her folds. I moan at how wet she actually is and rub along her cl*t making her jump. Her gaze is on me, her eyes hooded and full of desire. While she's watching me I slowly insert that same finger and start pumping in and out slowly. She looks f*cking sinful as her eyes roll back into her head and she throws her head back at the sensation.

"Eyes on me baby." I growl out and she snaps her head back to mine, just in time to see me remove the finger I had inside of her and bring it to my mouth where I proceed to lick it clean. She bites her lip as she moans at my actions but her eyes remain on mine like a good girl. I groan as the taste of her hits my tongue and I can't take it anymore. Grabbing her legs, I link my arms around her thighs and pull her to the edge of the bed, she gasps as my mouth descends on her and bucks her hips against my mouth. I hold her down and start devouring her, the noises she's making are like music to my ears. It's better than the hum of the engine of my car and that's saying a lot.

Her hands are pulling my hair with each lick and suck and I can't get enough it all. If I died right now, it would be as a happy man. She's moaning my name and it's make my co*ck ache with the need to feel her clenching around me, but I need to make her cum first. I move one of my hands from around her thigh and reach for her nipple. The moan she makes is the sexiest thing ever and I can tell she's getting close. Sucking on her cl*t, I pinch her nipple and that's all it takes for her to be writhing against my mouth, chasing her org*sm. She slaps her hand over her mouth to muffle her moans. I wish we were alone so she could be as loud as she wants because f*ck, I love the noises she's making.

I lick her until she pushes me away and I can't fight off the smile that comes across my face as I see her laying on the bed completely spent. Standing up, I grab my co*ck and pump a couple of times, needing some kind of relief. I'm dying to be inside of her but I'm not sure if that's her intention in all of this so I just stand and stare at her while touching myself. After her breathing calms she opens her eyes and sees me waiting. She bites her lip as she watches me and it nearly makes me cum.

"Come here mon amour." She whispers and that's all I need to hear. In the next moment, I'm climbing on top of her, and kissing her deeply.

Chapter 47: Made For Me

Chapter Text

Lydia's POV

"Come here mon amour." I whisper, needing Charles to touch me, kiss me, be inside of me more than anything in the world. The org*sm I just had was probably one of the most intense I've had. Im not sure if it's because it's been awhile since I've felt his mouth on me or if it's because our connection seems to be deeper this time around. That's honestly crazy since we've only been back together for a couple of days, but things feel different t this time around and that's why I have decided that the no sex rule is pointless. We're like magnets, our attraction and connection is too strong and I'm tired of fighting it. I'm still not sure if I fully trust Charles, but I trust him enough to know that this time is different.

He kisses me and I melt into him, deepening the kiss immediately. I wrap my legs around him, holding him tightly against me, not wanting to let him go. His co*ck is now rubbing against my puss*. Both of us moan as we touch and I turn desperate, needing him inside of me right now. I pull my mouth away from his and he wastes no time moving his lips to my neck. The feel of him makes my eyes roll in my head and I swear I already feel another org*sm coming.

"Inside me. Now." I demand, not even being able to think straight to speak in full sentences. He moves his head to look at me, uncertainty in his gaze. He's worried this isn't something I want to do, and I don't blame him. I've been so adamant that I won't be having sex with him until I trust him. He knows he hasn't gained my trust back fully yet so he's being careful.

"I'm tired of fighting the inevitable and we only have a short amount of time before we won't see each other for awhile. I don't want to waste anymore time." I tell him as I tangle my hands into his hair. He stares down at me for a moment before bending down and kissing me until I'm breathless and writhing beneath him. I'm so desperate to feel him again that I let out a frustrated groan, which makes Charles laugh.

"Do you want me to beg mon amour, because I will." I tell him as I grind against his co*ck. He groans in my ear and the sound makes my puss* clench. He's so f*cking sexy. Luckily he doesn't make me beg. Before I can get another word out, he's guiding his co*ck into me. We both groan when he's to the hilt and it feels like the world has been set back on its axis. Everything is how it should be.

"f*ck, I've missed this." Charles says as he starts moving ever so slowly. It feels so good but I need him to start moving faster. I tell him that I've missed it as well and he begins to move faster much to my relief. He grabs the legs and bends them towards my head, deepening his co*ck and hitting the perfect spot. I gasp at the new sensation and start to begin the feelings of my second org*sm.

"f*ck baby. I need you to cum because I'm not going to last much longer. This feels too good." He grunts out as each one of his thrusts hits just the right spot. He won't have to worry about me because with one last deep thrust I'm coming hard on his co*ck. I moan so loud that I know Max and Kelly had to have heard but Charles immediately covers my mouth with his, swallowing my cries of pleasure. It's only a moment later that he's exploding inside of me and I'm swallowing his cries of pleasure. Once we both come down from the high, I kiss him tenderly.

"I love you so much mon soleil." He whispers when he pulls out of me a few minutes later.

"I love you too, LP. More then you know." I tell him as I curl up on my side and close my eyes with a smile on my face. I'm suddenly so exhausted that I can't seem to keep my eyes open. I feel Charles kiss me gently on the forehead and then I hear him walk to the bathroom.

A few minutes later I startle when I feel a warm washcloth cleaning me up. I smile sleepily at Charles and thank him. He smiles down at me with so much love that my stomach dips. A moment later he's climbing into bed with me and wrapping me in his arms. I relax into him, cherishing this feeling of love and safety.

"Happy Birthday, Charles. I love you." I whisper as I close my eyes and let sleep come. I feel him pull me closer to him and kiss my bare shoulder before I fall into oblivion.

The next morning I wake up extremely early cuddled into Charles. I gently roll so I'm facing him, being careful not to wake him. He looks so peaceful in his sleep and absolutely gorgeous. His hair is messy from where I ran my fingers through it and his lips are slightly swollen. The proof of what we did last night fully evident still which makes me smile. My fingers itch to touch him, and they win out. I softly push back a piece of hair from his forehead which wakes him.

He cracks one eye open with a sleepy smile and grabs my leg, wrapping it over him so I'm now flush with his body. I bite my lip when I feel his hardening co*ck at my opening. Charles grinds into me and I moan when suddenly his mouth is on mine. Without another word, he enters me slowly and we spend the next twenty minutes taking things slow and exploring each others bodies once again.

"So far this is the best birthday I've ever had." He tells me when we're both laying on our backs trying to get our breathing back to normal. I can't help but laugh and slap him gently on his chest before rolling towards him and giving him a kiss on the jaw before climbing out of bed. I really need to take a shower, and then start breakfast. Charles watches me as I walk away, his hands folded behind his head in utter satisfaction and I can't help but roll my eyes. He's too much sometimes.

Walking into the bathroom I start the shower and climb in. It's only a few minutes later that Charles is walking into the shower after me. He comes to stand behind me and kisses my shoulder as I rub body wash over myself. I pull away from him and turn to face him, while holding my hand out making sure he stays away from me. He pouts which makes me laugh.

"Stay at least a foot away from me or we'll never leave this bedroom." I chastise which makes him roll his eyes but he doesn't argue. I turn back towards the shower then and grab my shampoo and start working it through my hair as I move out of the way so Charles can step under the spray. His eyes don't leave me as he grabs his body wash and starts cleaning himself. I can't help but watch him too, it's so erotic and it's ridiculous how turned on I am by him cleaning himself.

"Are you done teasing me now?" I ask with annoyance and he chuckles under his breath before moving out of my way so I can rinse my hair and add my conditioner before rinsing that as well. Before he can convince me to have shower sex I quickly leave the shower which makes Charles laugh but I don't care. I have things to do and he will not distract me.

Before he is even out of the shower I'm dried off and dressed in a red workout set. When Charles walks out of the bathroom with his towel wrapped low on his hips I'm brushing my hair and putting it in a braid. He makes his way to his suitcase and all I can do is stare as he drops his towel right in front of me. Unabashedly I stare as he gets dressed, but I know he doesn't mind since his dick seems to be getting hard.

"Andrea is going to pick me up in an hour for a workout. I should only be gone for a couple of hours." He tells me and I nod. I had expected it. It's six right now so that means he should be back by nine which is perfect because we need to get to the karting track around ten.

"Sounds good. I'm going to go make you breakfast." I tell him and I stand up from the bed and walk over to him to give him a kiss.

"You don't have to mon soleil." He tells me as I pull away and start walking to the door. I look over my shoulder with a smile.

"I know, but I want to." I tell him as I open the door and walk out to head in the kitchen.

I'm surprised when I see Morgan sitting at the dining room table eating some of the left over pasta we had from last night for some odd reason.

"Hey! You're up early!" I say as I walk into the room.

"Haven't gone to bed yet actually." She says as she takes a huge bite of pasta and I can't help but smile.

"Ahh the pasta makes much more sense now." I say with a laugh as I kiss the top of her head and walk into the kitchen. Opening the refrigerator I take out eggs, bell peppers and an onion. Since Charles is going to work out soon he needs protein but nothing heavy so I'm going to make him an omelet with some fruit.

"So you officially broke your no sex rule?" Morgan asks as she brings her now empty plate into the kitchen and rinses it off in the sink. I bite my lip before answering her. Turning towards her I can't keep the smile off my face. I'm absolutely giddy and she knows instantly that I definitely broke it.

"You're definitely in your slu*t era." She laughs and I roll my eyes. Just by that comment I know she saw my Instagram question and answers and that makes me happy that my friends are supporting me by watching the stories.

"I couldn't stop myself. There was no way I was going to be able to stay away from him." I tell her and she nods at me understanding. No judgement in her gaze at all.

"Speaking of slu*t era. What's going on between you and Jeremy?" I ask as I start prepping the vegetables for the omelets. Morgan jumps to sit on the countertop before answering me.

"Oh my god. I've been dying to tell you everything! We haven't had sex, but have done some other things. Let's just say that older men sure know what they are doing!" She tells me before continuing.

"But it's more than that. He's been so wonderful this weekend and it's made me realize how wonderful he's always been to me. I've always secretly had a thing for him but never thought about making a move but now? I don't know, it's kind of sh*t timing with just getting out of a long relationship and then him leaving in a couple of months to a whole different continent. I'm confused." She finishes and as happy as I am for both of them I'm also sad. It is sh*tty timing.

"Would you move to Austria if he asked?" I ask curious to what her response would be.

"I'm not sure. I don't think I could move without having a job lined up." She replies and I frown. If I wasn't his new assistant she would probably move in a heartbeat and then they could be together.

"Stop. I know what you're thinking. Even if you weren't his assistant and I was that would mean we still wouldn't be together. I don't think I could work for him and date him at the same time, it's a conflict of interest and sounds like it would be a nightmare." She says and I instantly understand what she means, thinking back to when Charles offered me a job working for him.

"So if you could find a job in Europe somewhere would you take it?" I ask because if she is interested I will start asking around and I'm sure Jeremy would be helpful as well.

"I guess it would depend on the job." She says and I nod as I contemplate.

I've just finished prepping the vegetables and eggs and I'm about to start the stove when Charles walks into the kitchen. He immediately comes over to where I'm standing over the kitchen just having put the eggs and veggies in the pan and places a soft kiss on my cheek.

"You two are disgustingly cute. I'm going to go to bed. Happy Birthday, by the way." Morgan says as she hops off the counter and I can't help but look at Charles and smile.

"Thanks Morgan. Hey, before you go to bed can I ask you something?" He says as he pulls away from me and walks towards where Morgan is now standing by the dining room. She looks confused but nods and they walk into the dining room. I furrow my brows as I turn back to the stove wondering what that's about.

I'm just finishing mine Charles' omelets when he walks back into the kitchen. His face gives me no clues as to what they were discussing and I'm trying hard not to worry. I hand him his omelet and bowl of fruit silently and grab mine as well before we walk into the dining room and sit down. We silently start eating and I'm going crazy, my stomach in knots since he's being so quiet. I push my plate away not being able to eat anymore and turn my gaze out the window. The sky is starting to fully wake up, now turning a muted orange pink color.

"I offered her a job." Charles says, startling me. I turn my gaze back to him with confusion because what is he talking about?

"Morgan. I offered her a job as my personal assistant." He elaborates and I co*ck my head because what? I couldn't have heard him right.

"What?" I ask which makes him laugh.

"I realized this weekend that I could really benefit with having a personal assistant and was thinking about trying to find one this week and then I overheard your and hers conversation and thought that it was perfect." He clarifies and I'm absolutely shocked.

"Did she accept?" I ask.

"She told me I had to get your permission before she made a decision...make sure that you're okay with it." He says and I can't help but laugh at how absurd this is. It's the answer to a lot of problems in a way if it's something that Morgan wants and I do think she wants to leave San Diego. Nothing is really keeping her there now besides Bianca. But I understand why she's worried about how I would feel. She wants me to be certain about Charles because she doesn't want to have to choose sides if things go sideways.

"I have no problem with it. I think it's an amazing idea actually." I tell him with a smile which he returns.

"I agree. I'll have my manager write up a contract so I can give her an offer by tomorrow. Hopefully she'll say yes. Now please eat your food." He says as he pulls out his phone to text Nicholas. I can't help but smile as he calls me out for not eating, knowing exactly why I wasn't in the first place. I pull my plate back towards me and finish my omelet. When I finish he smirks at me and I roll my eyes.

"Andrea just texted. He'll be here in five minutes." He tells me as he stands from the table and grabs our dishes taking them to the sink and rinsing them. I follow him into the kitchen and grab his water bottle near the sink and go fill it up with the water in the refrigerator and hand it to him with a kiss.

"God, you two are already like a married couple. Moving in unison and sh*t." Arthur says, interrupting our kiss. Charles grumbles under his breath as I turn to face Arthur.

"You're just jealous." Charles says like a child and I can't help but laugh.

"I am." Arthur replies wistfully and I can't help but feel bad for him. I walk towards him and give him a tight hug.

"You'll meet someone soon Artie." I tell him as I pat his head like a child. He must do something to make Charles mad because a moment later Charles is dragging me away from his brother and Arthur is laughing. I narrow my eyes at the two of them just as there's a knock on the door. While they have their little brotherly face off or whatever the hell that is, I head to the door.

Andrea stands before me when I open the door and I invite him in with a smile. I've only ever met him once when we were in Monaco but he gives me a bright smile when he sees me.

"Lydia, it's good to see you again." He tells me as he enters the house.

"It's good to see you too Andrea. Charles and Arthur are currently having a little brotherly quarrel in the kitchen." I say with a laugh as I walk towards the kitchen with Andrea trailing me. When we enter the room Charles and Arthur seem to be back to normal and I roll my eyes. Typically brothers.

"You ready to go Charles?" Andrea asks when he sees him to which Charles nods. Arthur salutes him and walks towards the refrigerator and Charles makes his way over to me and Andrea.

"I'll be back in a couple of hours. I love you." He tells me and gives me a quick kiss. I nod and watch him and Andrea walk towards the door. Andrea says something in Italian that I don't understand and Charles looks over his shoulder at me with a breathtaking smile before turning to reply to Andrea in Italian. And then they're out the door. I can't help but wonder what they said.

Chapter 48: I Won't Let You Go

Chapter Text

Charles POV

When I get back to the airbnb after my workout with Andrea, Lydia ushers me into the shower telling me I have thrifty minutes to get ready before we leave. She wouldn't tell me where we were going just that I needed to dress casual in jeans, a tee shirt and some sneakers.

Once I'm showered and dressed I make my way to find her. She's sitting in the living room talking to Jeremy, Morgan and Bianca. They all turn to me when I walk into the room. Jeremy and Bianca both wish me a happy birthday as Lydia stands and walks over to me with an excited smile. A minute later we're climbing into the car and Lydia is setting up her phone with the Bluetooth and GPS. She puts some EDM music on low volume as I pull out of the driveway and follow the directions.

It's not until we are pulling into the parking lot of an indoor karting track that I realize what we're doing. Excitement rips through me as I turn to look at Lydia who is smiling at me. I quickly park the car and climb out. Lydia meets me at the front of the car and we make our way inside.

When we step inside I see Arthur, Ezra, Lorenzo and Charlotte all standing there waiting for us and I turn to look at Lydia with a broad smile on my face. How did I end up getting so lucky to have found her? I hug everyone hello while they all wish me happy birthday. Lydia talks to the people who run the track and I find out that she rented out the whole space for two hours so we could have it to ourselves.

It's doesn't take us very long to get started. We each get helmets for protection but they also have radios in them so we can all talk to each other while we're racing. With the package Lydia got for us, we get one practice race, a qualifying race and then the final race with each one being 14 laps. I'm anxious and excited as we line up for the practice race. I know Lydia has been around karting for the past 10 years but I have no idea if she's ever tried it herself. We've never talked about it so I'm curious to see how she does.

Everything goes smoothly for the practice race, mainly it's just us getting our bearings for the track and the kart. I'm not surprised that Lydia and Charlotte are in the back of the pack. Not because they are girls but because they haven't been exposed to racing like us guys have. I'm feeling confident as we begin the qualification race. Everything was going smoothly for the first 13 laps of the race. I quickly take the top spot followed by Arthur and Ezra close behind. They are both talking sh*t to one another and to me but all I can focus on is Lydia's laughter coming through the radio. She sounds so happy and it fills my heart with joy. I have no idea what place she's in but I'm glad she's having fun.

"Oh sh*t!!" I hear through the radio as I am starting the last lap and my stomach drops because it was Lydia who screamed it into the radio. Without thinking I turn my head to see if I can see where she was and what happened to cause her to freak out like that, which was a mistake. I was too distracted and ended up slamming into the barrier right out of the first turn. Arthur and Ezra pass by me, followed by none other than Lydia.

"Sorry mon amour. We couldn't have you in pole position." I hear over the radio and I realize that I was completely played. I'm now in last place. I should be upset that she tricked me by playing into my obsession with her and her safety but I can't help but laugh. I back up my kart out of the barrier and start driving to catch up to the pack.

"It's okay baby. I'm still going to win the race." I say into the radio with confidence.

When I get to the finish line I see Lydia and the others climbing out of their cars. Ezra ended up in pole position and it makes me smile when I see him and Lydia high five and then hug. They are a bunch of cheaters but it makes me smile nonetheless. When I walk up to the group they all laugh as I grab Lydia and drag her away telling them I need to speak to her privately.

I take her a few yards away and take my helmet off and she follows suit taking hers off as well. She looks sheepish as she looks at me, worry in her gaze. I realize she's worried I'm mad at her and just didn't want to be angry in front of everyone else but that's not it at all.

"I'm sorry Charles, I really shouldn't have done that. Arthur and Ezra talked me into it." She says as she wraps her arms around my waist and rubs up against me. I shake my head in mock disgust and she gives me a puppy dog face and asks for my forgiveness. Not being able to hide my amusem*nt I smile as I pull her closer to me by her neck and kiss her until she's breathless. When I pull away her eyes are closed and she's pliant in my arms.

"You better watch your rear end baby, I'm coming for it." I tell her with a wink and as I walk away I slap her ass.

"f*ck me." I hear her whisper under her breath as I walk away and I can't keep the smile off my face.

Five minutes later we are lining up and starting the final race. By lap 7 I've caught up to Lydia. I'm shocked it took me this long but Lorenzo defended the sh*t out of me until I overtook him in one of the corners.

"I told you to watch your rear end baby." I say into the radio as I gently nudge her with the front of my kart. She curses into the radio and I can't help but laugh. To my surprise she holds me off for 4 laps, blocking me every time I try to overtake. I'm starting to get a little worried I might lose when I see my opening and take it. I finally pull ahead of her at the spot that I crashed in the qualifying race and now all I have to do is get passed Arthur and Ezra.

"I'll see you at the finish line mon soleil." I tell her as I pass by and she flips me off which makes me smile. My girl is a little feisty on the track.

It only takes me two laps to pass up Arthur and Ezra both of them cursing as I do but I was determined to win. They should have never tried to cheat. As I cross the finish line I gloat a little bit over the radio which causes Arthur and Lorenzo to curse me in rapid fire French. When I park the kart in the area the employee advises me to, I climb out and take off my helmet. I see that Lydia ended up finishing 5th, Lorenzo must have caught up after I passed her. She doesn't look upset though, the smile on her face as she climbs out of the kart is contagious.

"Nice job, dude. I can't wait to race against you in Formula 1." Ezra tells me as I walk up to him and Arthur.

"I look forward to it Ez. You did a great job. You held off Arthur like a pro." I tell him as I clap my hand against his and give him a side hug. When I pull away his grin is huge on his face and he raises his eyebrows at Arthur.

"Hear that Artie? Thee Charles Leclerc basically just told me I'm better than you." Ezra jokes with Arthur who rolls his eyes and mumbles under his breath about letting Ezra beat him, which is completely false. Arthur is more competitive than me. There's no way he would let someone else win if he had the option.

"P2 baby! Such an awesome job defending. You almost held off Charles." Lydia says as she walks up to us, immediately pulling Ezra into a tight hug before letting him go. My heart squeezes in my chest as I watch them, again overwhelmed by the idea of her having my children. I need to chill out.

"You held him off for a lot longer than I was expecting Mama, so I think you're the one who did an awesome job." Ezra tells her and she rolls her eyes, not being able to take any compliment or praise for a job well done.

"He's right, you know. I was getting a little worried I wasn't going to be able to get passed you fast enough to win the race." I tell her as I wrap my arm around her waist and tug her towards me. She looks at me like I'm a liar which is frustrating because I'm not. Lorenzo and Charlotte now approach our group and Lorenzo is holding three small trophies in his hands. I laugh as he hands me mine, because I was not expecting to actually get something to commemorate my win. Lydia squeals with excitement and pulls out her phone from her shirt.

"I need to get a photo of the three winners!" She says excitedly as she starts moving us where she wants us. This ends up in us having a full on photo shoot because she wants photos with each of us and also a group photo. The employees laugh at her enthusiasm but agree to take as many photos of our group as she wants. Eventually she is satisfied and the employees tell us that our food is ready for us in one of the banquet rooms. Apparently our day here also includes food and now I'm wondering how much money Lydia spent on this for us.

We spend the next hour enjoying each others company and eating Texas BBQ which turns out to be delicious. I am so happy as I sit and look around to see these people surrounding me. I can't even begin to explain how much it means to have them here, especially Lydia and Ezra...my new family. Lydia looks over at me and must sense I'm feeling a bit emotional because she leans forward and kisses me softly while resting her hand on my thigh and squeezing.

"Thank you for this." I tell her and she grins as she rests her head on my shoulder and looks around the table at everyone just like I had and I know she's feeling exactly how I feel right now.

We leave shortly after that. Lorenzo and Charlotte bid us goodbye and tell me happy birthday once more with the promise to see each other tomorrow. Arthur and Ezra promise to see us back at the airbnb and take off while Lydia and I are still sitting in the parking lot. Lydia is looking at the photos we took on her phone and smiling as she looks through them, while I smile at her.

"I'm going to send you the photo I took of you, Arthur and Lorenzo and also the one with guys and Charlotte so you can send them to your maman. I'm sure she would love to see them." She says pulling me away from my thoughts.

"Just send them all to me mon soleil and I'll send her some of my favorites." I tell her and she turns to look at me. She seems like she wants to ask why but decides to stay quiet and airdrops me the photos. While she connects her phone to the car and chooses a playlist I text my maman. I send her the photo of me and my brothers, and then the one with Charlotte like Lydia suggested but I also send her one of Lydia and me, one of us with Ezra and then one of the whole group.

Me: Lydia planned for us to go karting. It was amazing. Can't wait to see you on Thursday!
Maman: You look so happy. Thank you for sending me these photos, I love them.
Me: Thank Lydia. She insisted I send you the ones of me, Arthur and Lorenzo.
Maman: I'll have to thank her this weekend. She will be attending the GP, right?
Me: Yes, she will be there.
Maman: That's great! Can't wait to see you. Happy Birthday, my baby boy. I love you.
Me: Thank you maman. I love you too.

"Everything okay?" Lydia asks me when I set my phone down in the center console and start the car.

"Everything is perfect, mon soleil." I tell her as I pull out of the parking lot and head back to the airbnb.

On the ride back Lydia tells me that she doesn't have anything else planned until this evening. Her and I are going to dinner just us two at a nearby restaurant and I'm happy to be able to spend some alone time with her because come tomorrow I'll be back in the grind of things as will she. I know there must be more planned though, based on the fact that she bought decorations yesterday but I don't pry. So far it's been an amazing birthday and I'm assuming it will just keep getting better.

When we arrive back at the house, it's quiet and I wonder where everyone is. Lydia informs me that Max, Kelly, and Lando are out exploring the city and that Arthur and Ezra decided to join them. While Jeremy, Morgan and Bianca went to the mall because the girls wanted to shop. That means that we have the house to ourselves. Lydia guides me to our bedroom and sets her purse down on the bedside table before turning to face me.

"I forgot to tell you, but Francesca messaged me this morning about my answers yesterday. I thought she was going to be angry with me about some of them...mainly the hate comments but she told me I did a good job." She tells me and I'm relieved that Francesca didn't get upset. I figured as much since I didn't hear from her about it but it's nice to know that my suspicions were correct.

"She also told me that she's been monitoring our names on all social media platforms and overall everyone seems to be happy about us being back together. After doing the question and answers I've seemed to have gained a lot of fans. They like my sense of humor." She continues sounding absolutely shocked and I smile, not surprised that people are realizing that she's awesome.

"I'm not surprised mon soleil." I tell her as I step up in front of her and tangle my hand into her hair, forcing her head to look up at me.

"You're absolutely amazing." I continue, and I lean down and kiss her. She grabs my shirt then and pulls me down so I'm now on top of her. I deepen the kiss and she moans against my mouth. f*ck, I want her. Not being able to control myself, I start exploring her body. One thing leads to another, and we find ourselves naked only minutes later. I roll us over so she's now on top of me and I help guide her over my co*ck. Having her ride me is what I fantasize about most, she just looks so perfect as she grinds against me with her beautiful boobs shaking in front of me, driving me insane. It doesn't take long until she's picking up her pace and I'm meeting her stroke for stroke pushing in deeper and deeper. When she finally explodes around me, I follow right behind. She moans with abandon and I can't get enough of the sound, needing to hear more. Pinching her nipples, she gasps as her org*sm keeps going. She's clenching against my dick so hard, it's the best thing I've ever felt. She collapses against me a moment later and I have never been happier than I am right now. I lightly trail my fingertips along her spine and feel her shiver against me.

"I think I'm getting too old for all this activity. I'm absolutely exhausted." She grumbles and I can't help but laugh. I carefully roll us so she's now next to me and I climb out of bed to grab a washcloth to clean her up. When I get back, she's asleep and I sort of feel bad that she's so exhausted. I clean her up as best as I can and put the washcloth back in the bathroom before climbing into bed next to her. I don't sleep though. Instead I take the time to finally respond to all of the birthday wishes that I've been getting all day long. I've been trying to not be on my phone when spending time with Lydia and there's a lot that I have been missing over the past few days and now with the birthday messages, it's a bit overwhelming to look at my phone.

Eventually Lydia wakes up about two hours later. I'm still laying next to her and when she sees me she freaks out a little bit, and sits up in bed in a flash, while trying to get her bearings. I set my phone down beside me and grab a lock of her hair and twirl it around my finger.

"sh*t! How long have I been sleeping?" She asks and I tell her two hours.

"Omg I'm the worst girlfriend. Who takes a two hour nap on their boyfriends birthday?!" She complains, as she pushes her hair back away from her face. It's adorable how worried she is that I can't help but lean forward and kiss her.

"I would argue the opposite actually. What girlfriend would have sex with their boyfriend three times in about 15 hours, cook breakfast for him and then take him and his family karting on their birthday?" I ask which causes her to blush. Damn, she's beautiful.

"Well when you put it that way...I sound like a phenomenal girlfriend." She replies with a laugh as she looks over her shoulder at me.

"You are mon soleil, you are."

Chapter 49: Only You

Chapter Text

Lydia's POV

I locked myself in the bathroom about an hour ago so I could get ready for dinner with Charles. I've been busy doing my makeup and hair as well as making sure my body is fully shaved and moisturized. As I stare at myself in the mirror I think I did a pretty good job at looking good for him. My makeup is simple but elegant and my hair has the most perfect beachy waves. The outfit I chose is a red slip bodysuit mini dress with a v-neckline, a black leather jacket that I'm going to drape over my shoulders, black strappy heels that lace up my ankles and my Prada bag.

Satisfied with my look, I open the bathroom door to find Charles wearing black trousers, and a black short sleeved button up shirt with the top two buttons undone and a pair of black and white Nike sneakers. He looks f*cking sexy and I can't help but stare at him. He's looking down at his phone so he hasn't noticed me yet.

"You ready mon amour?" I ask and his gaze snaps from his phone to me and I watch as his gaze turns heated as he takes me in. His mouth drops open slightly and I watch a little glimpse of his tongue slide along his bottom lip before he bites said lip. f*ck me.

"I'm actually not sure I want to go anymore." He says as he takes a step towards me while sliding his phone in his pocket. A moment later he's wrapping his arms around my hips and pulling me against him.

"You look absolutely ravishing. I'm not sure if I want anyone to see you looking this sexy." He whispers as he looks down between us, assessing my outfit. I can't help but laugh at his ogling.

"Too bad, we're going." I tell him as I lean forward to give him a quick peck before pulling his arms away from me and walking to the door of our room.

He follows me out the door and I know he's staring at my ass and legs as I walk in front of him. When we walk into the living room, everyone is sitting watching Talladega Nights of all movies. Morgan is the first one to see us and she wastes no time catcalling me causing everyone in the room to turn and look at us. I shake my head and roll my eyes at her antics but when she requests a spin from me I oblige.

"Charles you're a lucky man." Lando shouts and Bianca smacks him lightly on the shoulder making everyone laugh.

"What?! She is beautiful and he's lucky she decided to give his idiot self another chance. I was just stating a fact." He argues and I smile because he's not lying.

"I know, Lando. I'm the luckiest guy in the world." Charles says as he pulls me into his arms and kisses my shoulder.

"Alright, we should go or we're going to miss our reservation. We'll see you guys later!" I tell everyone as I drag Charles towards the front door. Right before I shut the door of the house I give everyone the signal to tell everyone it's time to set the party up.

Fifteen minutes later Charles and I are entering the restaurant. Our hands are intertwined as we follow the hostess to our table. They put us in a booth in a secluded section of the restaurant. I slide in and shrug off my jacket to place next to me while Charles slides in beside me. The hostess leaves us with our menus and a few moments late our waiter arrives to take our drink order. We both opt for water and the waiter leaves. As I pick up my menu to peruse I feel Charles hand come to rest on my thigh.

Once we order we start discussing our plans for the week. We both have to get back to work starting tomorrow so we're not going to get to spend as much time together. A part of me is sad about that but then another is anxious to see how things will go once we aren't constantly together. It will be the start of the trust test on whether or not we'll actually work out this time.

Our food comes quickly and we spend the next thirty minutes eating our food and we get on the subject of this morning. I'm so happy that Charles had such a good time. It was amazing and it truly was such a fun time. By the time we're finished eating it's been about an hour and a half since we sat down. Glancing at my phone I see a text from Kelly telling me that they are almost done setting up. To stall for time I decide to order a chocolate soufflé for dessert. It takes about twenty minutes to get it and Charles and I spend the whole time whispering all of the dirty things we want to do to one another in each others ears.

By the time the waiter drops off the dessert I'm desperate to leave but I push that thought away because there are 30 people and the Airbnb waiting for us. We dig into the dessert and finish it in a couple of bites because it is absolutely delicious. The waiter comes with the bill and I immediately hand him my card before Charles could even try to pay. He narrows his eyes as the waiter leaves with my card and I roll my eyes.

"You're not paying on your birthday so shut up." I tell him and he shakes his head as he takes a sip of his water.

A few minutes later the waiter returns and I fill out the receipt quickly, making sure I tip generously. Grabbing Charles' hand, I start sliding out of the booth so we can go. He follows closely behind me, his hand gently wrapping around my back as we walk through the restaurant and when we get to the front door I see a flash of a camera. Charles grumbles under his breath in annoyance but I grab his hand and squeeze letting him know it's okay. While we wait for the valet to bring our car around the photographer starts coming closer, now only about a couple of feet away from us. He's asking us questions but we don't respond. Charles moves to block me, as the man steps closer and for a moment I get scared, until the valet finally arrives with our car and Charles rushes to help me inside. Charles climbs in a moment later and locks the doors behind him.

Charles is silent on the drive back to the Airbnb and I'm not sure why he's so angry. We've been getting photographed all weekend. This time was different where the photographer was being a bit more aggressive but nothing bad happened. I'm not sure of what to do, not wanting to make it worse so I just sit there quietly fiddling with my necklace. Once we get a couple of minutes away from the house I text Kelly to let her know but also warn her of Charles mood. When we pull into the driveway he shuts off the car but doesn't move to get out. I unbuckle myself but don't go to get out either waiting for him to start talking or exit. I feel his gaze on me so I turn to look at him and his expression worries me, he looks like he's about to tell me something I'm not going to like. My brain immediately thinks he's going to tell me he can't be with me, just like last time. Tears involuntarily start pooling behind my eyes and I try hard to stay stoic.

"I think..." He starts to say but I can't let him continue.

"If you're going to tell me that you think we should take a break I will be leaving and never talking to you ever again." I tell him as a lone tear escapes my eye. As I wipe it away quickly, I watch Charles' eyes widen in alarm and he's grabbing desperately for my hands.

"What?! No, mon soleil. f*ck, no. I wasn't going to say that at all." He says frantically as he stares into my eyes. More tears fall from my eyes and he quickly wipes them away before leaning forward and kissing me. I relax into him when I realize that isn't what he was going to tell me and I curse myself for going immediately to that conclusion. Clearly I am still not over what happened. Charles pulls away and rests his forehead on mine, and takes a deep breath.

"I was going to say I think we need to hire security or a body guard for you." He huffs out and I furrow my brows as I lean away from him to look at him dead on.

"Why on earth would you think I need a body guard?" I ask with confusion.

"Because I'm worried about your safety. First you get assaulted, then we find out your parents are behind it and have some vendetta or something. And now the paparazzi are getting more brazen. I want you safe!" He exclaims with frustration and I can tell he's really stressed about this. I have no idea what to do. I think he's being a little dramatic and security or a body guard are completely unnecessary.

"I understand your worry Charles, but nothing is going to happen to me." I whisper, as I rest my hand gently on his cheek in comfort. He leans into my touch and looks at me. His eyes are full of worry and I can see he's scared.

"You don't know that." He whispers sadly and my heart breaks. He's really shaken up.

"How about we table this discussion for tomorrow? Right now I want to go inside and continue your birthday celebration." I tell him, with insinuation. For a moment I think he's not going to go for my suggestion but then I see the light in his eyes change from sad to heated. Maybe I should feel bad for insulating that we're going to have sex again when really there is just a surprise party going on but it gets him to smile and get out of the car. A win is a win. I can't help but laugh when he drags me up the driveway by my hand and rushes through the front door of the house.

"SURPRISE!!!" Everyone yells as we enter the house and I explode in laughter at Charles expression. He looks so shocked as he looks around the room and everyone and then turns to face him with narrowed eyes. He's smiling though so I know he's just kidding, at least somewhat.

"Don't worry baby, you'll be getting another org*sm before the night is over. Maybe two if you're lucky." I whisper in his ear as he hugs me against him. He groans as I place a kiss on his neck. Then I'm pulling away from him and walking further into the house to where Kelly, Morgan and Bianca are talking. They look hot in their rave outfits and I realize that Charles and I still need to change.

"Hey ladies. It looks amazing in here, thank you so much for all your help!" I tell them as I approach.

"Of course! You should go change so we can get this party started!" Morgan tells me and I can tell that she's already a little tipsy by how she slaps my ass.

As I make my way through the living room I am stopped by Carlos, Alex and George saying hello and telling me how happy they are to see me again. I tell them I'll be back and that I need to change. Then I make my way back to mine and Charles' bedroom. When I make it to the room, I immediately head to my suitcase to grab the outfit that I have planned. As I am gathering all of the items the door opens behind me and I see Charles walking in.

"I can't believe you planned all of this for me." He says as he shuts the door and locks it behind him. I narrow my eyes at his actions and he smirks as he makes his way over to me. When he steps up to me he kisses me passionately and pulls me closer by grabbing my ass. As he kisses me he starts moving us until my back hits the wall. I moan as I feel his hand moving around my thigh and then making it's way between my legs and I'm thankful for the EDM music that is now playing loudly. A moment later, he's moving my underwear aside and pressing two fingers into my puss*. He swallows my moans as he pumps into me until I cum all over his fingers.

I'm still coming down from my org*sm when Charles suddenly spins me around so I'm facing the wall, and unbuttons his pants and pulls out his co*ck. The next thing I know he's entering me from behind and it feels so overwhelming good. He grabs my hands and places them against the wall above my head, demanding me to leave them there. My puss* clenches at his command and I nearly cum again when he moans deeply against my ear. His hands are firmly holding my hips in place as he pounds into me. I throw my head back when he hits my g spot and he wastes no time in licking and sucking along my neck.

"I fantasized all night about taking you like this...while you were still wearing this dress...and these shoes. It's so much f*cking better than I imagined baby. You're so perfect." He whispers as he continues pounding into me. It's all too much. The position, his words...his moans. God, it's all so erotic and I find myself falling over the edge once again. My org*sm rips through me, and there is no controlling the volume of my moans but I can't seem to care at all if anyone hears me. It's not long until Charles finds his release. His fingers dig into my hips hard and he bites my shoulder as he explodes into me but I take everything he's giving me. It's all so f*cking sexy that I am once again wondering how I got so lucky to have found him. He pulls out of me a few minutes later and walks into the bathroom without a word. I lean my forehead against the wall as I focus on my breathing. Charles comes back a minute later and helps clean me up and I feel him kiss the back of my neck and lingers there for a moment before telling me he loves me. I turn and face him as I tell him I love him too and give him a quick peck on the lips.

"We should get changed. I'm sure everyone is wondering where we are." I tell him as I grab my outfit from my suitcase and walk towards the bathroom.

"I'm pretty sure everyone knows what's going on in here mon soleil." He tells me with a chuckle and I roll my eyes. I'm sure they do, but that doesn't mean they aren't still waiting for us to come back out there. I tell him I'll be out in a minute and close the door behind me.

A few minutes later, I'm walking out of the bathroom wearing a white bodysuit with a white sheer mini dress that has long sleeves with feathers at the hand openings. I decided to keep my heels on from earlier so I didn't have to take them off. When Charles sees me he groans and wipes his hand along his face making me laugh. I do a little spin so he can see the back and he groans again when he sees how cheeky the bodysuit it.

"f*ck baby. Are you trying to kill me?" He asks as he steps towards me and pulls me against him, his hands immediately grabbing my ass and squeezing. I wink at him and push him away from me otherwise we'll never be leaving this room. He laughs as he walks to his suitcase and bends down and picks up a plain white tee shirt. I watch unabashedly as he takes off the shirt he was wearing to dinner and puts the white teeshirt on instead. He looks damn good in a simple white tee.

When we reemerge to the party everyone whoops and hollers like crazy which makes me flush pink with embarrassment. It's strange when 30 people know exactly what we were just doing in that bedroom, especially when one of them is my kid but oh well. I look to Charles who has a proud smile on his face and I push him away from me jokingly making everyone laugh.

Charles gets pulled away with some of the drivers to take a shot and I make my way to the where the girls are on the make shift dance floor in the living room. Morgan, Bianca, Kelly, Kika, Carmen, Lily, Heidi, and both Charlottes are dancing to 'Only You' by Kaskade. Morgan spots me first and wraps me in a big hug wrapping her arms tightly around my neck. She's full on drunk now and I can't help but laugh as she starts grinding against me once she lets me go.

"You look so f*cking hot! " She yells into my ear with her hands up in the air. I tell her she looks hot too as I see that she's wearing a hot pink pleather crop top with a matching mini skirt, she looks like a raver Barbie with her bright blond hair and all the pink. All of the girls look great and I'm happy that everyone went along with the theme. I make my way through saying hello to all of the girls and giving them hugs. When I get to Charlotte, Charles ex girlfriend I get a bit nervous. This will be the first time I officially meet her. The last time I saw her was back in Hungary and she didn't know who I was back then. Luckily she's with Lorenzo's Charlotte so I don't feel super awkward approaching them. I hug the latter and turn to introduce myself to the former. She smiles at me brightly and leans forward giving me a kiss on the cheek which I return.

"It's nice to finally meet you! I've been wanting to apologize to you for the problems that I caused you and Charles when you first started dating." She says into my ear and leans back to look at me, her expression sheepish and I smile.

"You have nothing to apologize for. It's not your fault that Charles is an idiot sometimes." I say into her ear and we both start laughing.

At that moment, I feel a hand on my back and I turn to see Charles looking between us with a questioning but amused look. I don't think he knows how to handle this situation which makes us laugh even more. I lean forward towards Charlotte once more.

"Look, he just proved my point. At least he's pretty." I tell her with a giggle and she snorts as she looks between me and him. A moment later Joris approaches our group and asks what we're laughing about. Charlotte whispers something in his ear and he starts laughing which makes Charles roll his eyes when he realizes that we're talking about him and won't be telling him what is being said. He pulls me against him and I feel him press a kiss on my neck.

"Would you like to fill me in mon soleil?" He whispers in my ear and I bite my lip and co*ck my head to the side in contemplation.

"We were comparing your seduction techniques between the two of us." I tell him with as much seriousness I can muster and he looks at me with absolute shock. He's so gullible sometimes that I can't keep back my laugh longer than a few seconds.

"You should have seen your face. Do you actually believe we would be swapping sex stories?! Be real, LP!" I smack him lightly in the chest as I laugh and he grabs me and yanks me tightly into my arms and whispers how mean I am in my ear.

I'm about to respond when Daniel walks up to our group with a bottle of tequila and shouts that everyone has to take a shot. This is when the night takes a turn. Charles and I both decided to limit ourselves on how much alcohol we consumed tonight. Don't get me wrong we're feeling good but we didn't want to deal with the hangover the next morning so we're pacing ourselves but it seems like everyone else didn't have the same idea. Everyone except Jeremy since he is in straight dad mode. He's having a tough time with the fact that Bianca and Lando have hit it off and are currently grinding on the dance floor. Oh and look at that, now they're kissing.

"You swear he's a good guy?" Jer grumbles. This is the fifth time asking me that just tonight and every time my answer is the same.

"I promise. He wouldn't harm a fly. Maybe a bee or a hornet but not a fly." I say with a laugh and he narrows his gaze at me not liking my joke. He grumbles something under his breath that I don't hear just as Morgan makes her way over to us, nearly tripping over nothing and I can't help but laugh. Jeremy wraps his arms around her as she strides right up to him and kisses him. When she pulls away from him he has a dopey smile on his face and I can't help but be so happy for him, for both of them. She leads him away to the dance floor and I decide now would be a good time to get Charles' cake from the garage refrigerator and get everyone to sing happy birthday before their too sh*tfaced.

Kelly finds me in the kitchen putting the candles on the cake a few minutes later and she lets me know she'll tell everyone that we're going to do cake so they are prepared to give me room to walk in with it and they can turn the music down. After all the candles are lit I walk into the living room where everyone is confined thanks to Kelly. I find Charles right away, he's staring at me with so much love as I start singing.

Chapter 50: Midnight

Chapter Text

Charles' POV

Everyone is singing me happy birthday but the only person I see is Lydia. She's so beautiful that it almost hurts to look at her. Today just solidified how much I truly love her and how happy she makes me. I'll thank the universe everyday for the rest of my life for bringing her to me.

"Make a wish mon amour." She tells me once everyone is done singing and she's standing in front of me holding the cake in front of me with a smile. What do I wish for when everything I've ever wanted is standing right in front of me? I guess I could wish for the WDC but there's one thing that I wish for more than that. I shut my eyes, make the wish, and blow out my candles. Everyone cheers and I snap my eyes open to find Lydia staring at me intently with a soft smile on her face.

"What did you wish for brother?" Arthur asks while clapping my back, and I turn toward him with a smile. Lydia walks away then, heading back into the kitchen and I can't help but watch her.

"Can't tell you otherwise it won't come true." I tell Arthur while staring at Lydia. He laughs at me and calls me whipped which makes me roll my eyes. I mean he's right, I am whipped but I don't care. Without another word I walk away from Arthur and find Lydia in the kitchen. She's taking the candles out of the cake and has a knife and plates next to her. She's about to pick up the knife when I take it out of her hand and set it down on the counter top. She's about to protest when I take her hand in mine, and start guiding her back towards the living room.

"If people want cake they can serve themselves. It's time for you to dance with your boyfriend on his birthday." I tell her.

We turned down the music about an hour ago so we don't get the cops called on us and the mood has changed since the beginning of the night. Lando is still playing EDM but it's much more mellow now. Right now he's playing the Kygo remix of 'Midnight' by Coldplay. I pull Lydia into my arms, and she wraps her arms around my waist as her head rests on my shoulder. She closes her eyes as we start to sway back and forth to the song. I'm worried she's about to fall asleep when she opens her eyes and smiles up at me.

"Did you have a good birthday LP?" She asks and I squeeze her tight.

"The best, mon soleil. Thank you for making it the best birthday I've had in a long time." I tell her as I lean down to kiss her. Before my lips touch hers though she's gasps and I think something is wrong.

"What?! What's wrong?" I ask with worry.

"I haven't given you your birthday present yet!" She exclaims.

"Hmm I'm pretty sure you've given it to me four times today." I say with a wink and she smacks me on the shoulder and rolls her eyes.

"If you keep being cheeky you won't be getting the fifth." She tells me and I mime zipping up my lips because I don't want to miss out on my fifth org*sm in 24 hours. Jesus, my fifth org*sm that's insane. I guess we're catching up on time lost and I absolutely love it.

"You know how we were talking about getting tickets to see Coldplay yesterday?" She asks pulling me from my dirty thoughts and I nod.

"Well a couple of weeks ago I bought two tickets to see them in Italy next summer." She continues.

"Wait, what?" I ask because I'm confused. This is the gift she said she bought a few weeks ago?

"I saw they were playing and it was like I was on autopilot. I checked the race schedule to make sure you didn't have one that weekend and bought the tickets without a second thought. It wasn't until after I purchased them that I realized I was buying them for us. I guess I subconsciously knew that we weren't over." She tells me and my heart seizes in my chest.

It makes me feel some type of way knowing that she never really gave up on me. I'm too emotional to respond to her. I just grab one of her hands from around my back and and guide her towards our bedroom. No one pays us any attention, they are too drunk to care. The moment we get to the room and I've shut the door behind us, I use my body to show Lydia just how much I appreciate her gift. I show her until she can't take anymore and she's begging me to stop.

When I wake up the next morning I'm alone. I end up finding Lydia in the kitchen, but not before passing most of our friends sleeping in some obscure place. I see Daniel and Heidi sleeping under the dining room table while Carlos is on the floor in the middle of the kitchen next to Lydia's feet. She is busy cooking a huge pan of scrambled eggs and doesn't hear me approaching.

"Good morning mon soleil. Anything I can help you with?" I ask as I wrap my arms around her hips and kiss her cheek.

"Good morning. Can you get the cheese, tortillas, and hot sauce out of the refrigerator for me please?" She asks and I nod.

After I do my job, I take a seat at the kitchen island and watch her assemble breakfast burrito after breakfast burrito. I'm amazed that she's doing it all herself. I offered to help but she seem horrified to let me help. I'm not that bad of a cook but I didn't argue. She handed me a burrito and told me to sit back down so I did as I was told and damn can my girl cook. After I finish my burrito she asks me to start passing them around to everyone. By the time everyone else has one I notice that she doesn't have one and the food is gone. I frown and pull her towards me.

"Mon soleil. Please tell me you ate one while you were assembling them." I say and she averts her gaze and spins in my arms to grab the pan off the stove and walk to the sink where she starts cleaning it. I walk up to her and take it from her hands and start cleaning it myself.

"So did you eat?" I ask with annoyance that she's avoiding the question.

"Technically no. But I tasted everything to make sure it was good so I did have some food." She says and I stop washing the pan and turn my gaze to her. Disapproval is written all over my face.

"It's fine. I'd rather everyone else get food. They need it more than I do. I'll just eat some yogurt." She tells me as she walks to the refrigerator to grab one. It's annoying that she is the one always taking care of everyone else but no one is taking care of her, or more so she won't let anyone take care of her. I'm about to offer to make her something when Andrea walks into the kitchen. He was one of the few who didn't spend the night and he seems completely fine this morning as he walks in with a big smile.

"You ready for our workout?" He asks and I completely forgot I agreed to a workout this morning.

"Yeah, just give me a minute to go change." I tell him as I walk out of the kitchen.

When I arrive back a few minutes later Lydia and Andrea are laughing about something. I frown at the unopened yogurt sitting beside her but don't say anything.

"Charlie, you ready to go?" Andrea asks as he pats my back and I nod.

"I'm sorry I have to go, I forgot we had this workout planned. I'll see you later?" I ask Lydia as I lean down for a kiss.

"It's okay Charles. We already talked about how busy this week is going to be for the both of us. I'll see you later. I love you." She tells me and gives me a kiss. I tell her I love her too and follow Andrea out the door and we start running our 5k.

It takes me a few minutes to get fully focused after having the last few days off but eventually we get in the zone. The workout goes by quickly and by the time I'm walking back into the airbnb all of the guests who aren't staying here have left and it's quiet. I head to Lydia and I's bedroom in search for her but when I get there she's not there either.

Grabbing my phone from my shorts, I have a text from her telling me she had to go to the Red Bull field office with Jeremy and Morgan for a meeting about a Red Bull Fan Zone event that's also this week. I make sure to text her back with my schedule for the rest of the day which entails me heading to the hotel where Ferrari and my team are staying. I have a meeting with my manager Nicholas about Morgan's contract, then one with Francesca who got into town this morning to go over some PR opportunities throughout the week and then a team meeting with all of the engineers to begin going over strategy.

Checking the time on my phone, I realize I need to shower and get dressed quick because I'm supposed to meet Nicholas at 11 and it's already 10:30. I'm showered and dressed in a matter of minutes and heading out the door. I make it to the hotel by 10:55 and head to the conference room that Nicholas asked me to meet him at.

Our meeting goes well. He has the contract ready to give to Morgan and hopefully she'll make her decision quickly once I give it to her today. We go over a few more things, mainly about potential sponsors, partnerships and collaborations with different businesses. He mentions that there's a non-profit company that is interested in partnering with Lydia. Apparently they have developed an app for mothers that don't have a solid support system where they have a database for physicians for both the mothers and the children, a database for trusted child care providers, as well as a 24/7 chat line for any mental health things that pop up during pregnancy or postpartum. And that's not even all that the app provides. Nicholas hands me a packet of information about the company and a contract that they sent along with it for Lydia if she agrees.

After our meeting I end up catching up with Joris and Charlotte for lunch at a nearby cafe making sure that I text Lydia to let her know I'll be with them. She replies back telling me to tell them hi and I'm relieved that there seems to be no awkwardness between Lydia and Charlotte. Last night when I saw them talking I was a bit nervous but when I saw them laughing together I relaxed significantly. I still don't know what they were whispering about and it's probably better if I don't know.

After lunch I meet up with Francesca who apparently has very exciting news for both me and Lydia. She's upset that Lydia isn't with me and I offer to call her so she can tell us the news at the same time. Lydia luckily is able to talk for a few minutes in between meetings.

"The F1 Pirelli team and COTA have asked if you two would be interested in filming an episode of hot laps on Wednesday?!" Francesca says with excitement.

"I didn't think I was able to since Ferrari isn't apart of the program." I reply just as Lydia asks what hot laps are.

"Basically it would be you in a supercar as a passenger and Charles driving you two around the COTA track while you ask him questions that fans are curious about. There is a camera on the dash of the car and on both of your helmets recording you the whole time." Fran explains to Lydia and then turns to me.

"They are making an exception and allowing you to drive since there is so much buzz around your guys' relationship right now. They think it will be a good PR opportunity for not only you two but F1 as well. With Lydia being from Austin originally and us being in Austin they believe that it will help market to more Americans." She explains and I'm shocked but honestly excited. I think it would be amazing to see Lydia freak out on the track.

"Sign me up! Do you think they would let me drive?" Lydia asks with excitement and I smile broadly at her question. There's no way they'll let her drive but it would be a sight to see if they did. Before Francesca can respond I tell her that they won't let her since she's not a professional which she then said was stupid, making me laugh. Eventually we end the phone call after confirming that we would be interested. Francesca and I continue on with our meeting going over social media analytics and other PR obligations I have this week. Right as our meeting is about to end Fran gets a text back from Pirelli with the details of the hot laps and she forwards the information to both me and Lydia.

For the rest of the day, I sit posted in one of the conference rooms with all of my Ferrari engineers and pit crew as well as Xavi and Fred. We go over our strategies and plans for the weekend and I also end up spending about two hours on the simulator before I finally leave the hotel and head back to the Airbnb where Lydia should be waiting for me.

When I walk into the house, I hear laughter coming from the dining room and when I enter the room I see Lydia, Ezra, Jeremy, Morgan, Bianca and Lando sitting enjoying dinner together. Lydia looks the picture of ease at the head of the table, one of her knees bent at her chest with her hands wrapped around it and her head thrown back in laughter. She's so damn beautiful and she looks so happy that I'm sure I look like a lovesick fool staring at her.

"Charles! You're finally back. There's a plate for you in the oven." Lydia tells me with a bright smile when she finally notices me standing there. I head into the kitchen to grab my dinner and when I walk back into the dining room table I see Lydia climbing out of her chair so I can sit down. I sit down, but grab her before she can go anywhere and set her down on my lap and give her a kiss.

"Go get a room. Ugh." I hear Ezra say in annoyance, and everyone laughs including me and Lydia. Ezra is only kidding though I realize when I glance at him. He's smiling as he looks at us and I know he's happy for us. Happy to see his mom happy.

As I eat my dinner, everyone else talks about different things that happened last night during the party. Apparently the reason why Daniel and Heidi ended up under the dining room table was because they were trying to find one of Heidi's earrings that fell out of her ear, but were so drunk that they collapsed from laughing too hard and just decided to stay there. Eventually Ezra, Bianca and Lando excuse themselves to go watch a move in the living room. Lydia moves off my lap once they leave and takes Ezra's spot.

"How was your day?" I ask her and she smiles.

"It was good, spent most of my time keeping those two apart so the execs didn't suspect something between them since it's a conflict of interest." She laughs as she tilts her chin at Jeremy and Morgan who roll their eyes.

"Speaking of that. I have a contract for you to look over Morgan." I tell her as I stand and walk to the kitchen to grab the paperwork I left on the island. When I get back in the room, there is some tension and Jeremy is staring at Morgan but her gaze is on the table in front of her. Well sh*t.

"What is he talking about Morgan?" Jeremy asks as I sit back down in my chair and look at Lydia with apologetic eyes. I didn't mean to cause problems. She gives me a look that says to not worry about it.

"Charles offered me a job as his personal assistant." Morgan says as she turns her gaze to Jeremy who looks confused.

"But you work for me." He says and I feel like this is not a conversation I should be hearing.

"You don't need me anymore, Jer. Lydia does basically everything already and I've just been biding time until January when you leave and Red Bull isn't even sure who they are going to place me with yet when you do. If I wanted to, I could easily accept another job." She says.

"Why would you want to accept another job though?" He asks and it looks like she wants to cry.

"Well nothing is keeping me in San Diego once you and Lydia leave besides Bianca and she is already talking about transferring schools to be closer to you. Why wouldn't I accept a job that allows me to be in Europe?" She asks and he doesn't say anything or do anything. He just sits there blankly and Lydia groans under her breath.

"I don't understand why you are reacting this way. I thought you would be happy about the possibility of me being in Europe if I were to accept the job but maybe I read this situation completely f*cking wrong." Morgan says with anger and stands from her chair and leaves the room without another word. Lydia grabs the contract from my hand and rushes to follow Morgan. Jeremy looks like he wants to follow but doesn't.

"Look Jeremy, I didn't mean to cause problems. But I need an assistant who I can trust and I knew that Morgan would possibly be interested. I thought after our conversation the other day that you wouldn't mind me asking her. I thought it was a win-win for all of us." I tell him as I stand from the table so he can have a minute to himself.

Chapter 51: Getaway Car

Chapter Text

Lydia's POV

It's Wednesday, and Charles, Morgan and I just arrived at COTA for the Pirelli Hot Laps challenge that Charles and I agreed to. Morgan is with us because she officially accepted Charles offer to be his personal assistant yesterday and today is her first day on the job.

Luckily I convinced her to accept it when it looked like for a moment she wasn't going to because Jeremy is a f*cking idiot. I told her to not make the decision based on a man, and to make the decision on what was best for herself. It only took her a few hours to figure out that there were no cons in accepting Charles offer and the rest is history. I'm ecstatic because it means she'll be moving to Europe too and I won't have to say goodbye to her, and with her working for Charles that means I'll get to see her all of the time.

As we get out of the car I hear Morgan groan beside me and I glance over to see her ignoring a call from Jeremy. She hasn't talked to him since Monday night and he's not taking it well, but I don't blame her for needing space. She's had to deal with a lot of emotional situations these past few days with finding out her boyfriend cheated on her, then finding out Jeremy and her both actually have feelings for each other. And then her having the opportunity to be with Jer and pursue something real, only to have him not say anything at all and freeze. She's confused and frustrated. I grab her hand and squeeze in support and she smiles at me. We follow Charles through the paddock and finally reach pit lane where all of the cars doing the hot laps are currently parked.

We approach a group of people and I recognize one as Francesca. She's talking to two other people I don't recognize and then standing nearby them I see Lewis Hamilton talking to a guy with twisted dreadlocks. When we approach the group I realize the guy with the dreadlocks is John Mechie. He was drafted by the Houston Texans in 2022 as a wide receiver but unfortunately had to sit out his rookie year due to being diagnosed with leukemia. Charles grabs my hand and leads us towards Lewis and John. Lewis and Charles clap hands in greeting and Charles introduces me and Morgan to Lewis.

"This is..." Lewis starts to say pointing to John but I'm too excited and cut him off.

"John Mechie." I say excitedly as I hold out my hand towards him to shake. He smiles brightly down at me as he takes my hand in his. His tongue comes out to lick his lips as he runs his eyes up and down me and I can't help but blush. Charles takes a step closer to me and I turn to see him staring at me questioningly. I laugh as I drop John's hand but bring my gaze back to John.

"It's so awesome to meet you. I hope you are feeling better." I tell him.

"I am feeling great, thank you." He answers with confusion and I smile.

"I'm sorry, I am just so surprised you know who I am. I wasn't expecting anyone in this crowd to truly know who I was so I'm a little flustered." He confesses and I laugh.

"I'm from Austin and have been a huge Texans fan my whole life." I explain and he nods in understanding.

"I'm sorry to interrupt, but can you please share with the class who he is? Not everyone here knows." Morgan announces loudly as she comes up beside me and holds her hand out to John who laughs. Lewis laughs as well and I notice him glancing at Charles with a strange look.

"I'm a wide receiver for the Houston Texans." I hear John tell Morgan as I glance at Charles. He is staring at John with narrowed eyes and I realize that he's staring at him like he's jealous. I grab his hand that's resting possessively on my hip and squeeze trying to get his attention. His eyes find mine a moment later and I give him an incredulous look with my eyebrows raised because he cannot be jealous right now. But he gets distracted when Francesca now approaches our group.

"Lydia, I'm so excited to finally meet you in person!" She says with a huge infectious smile and I smile in return as I lean to give her a hug.

"I'm excited to meet you too. Thank you so much for all the help you've been doing on my social media. It's seriously amazing, I'm no longer having to worry about reading anything too mean." I says with a laugh and she tells me it's not a big deal.

"So here are the cards with the questions you'll be asking Charles during the laps. The Pirelli team will be over shortly to get you two all set up with helmets. Remember to try not to say anything too damning since you are going to be recorded. Most importantly be yourselves and have fun." She tells Charles and I as she hands me a small stack of cards. We thank her and she steps away to speak with one of her other team members.

We turn back towards Morgan, Lewis and John to see Morgan flirting with both John and Lewis and you know what? Good for her. A member of the Mercedes comes over and interrupts though and Lewis and John get summoned. They wave as they leave and we tell each other to have fun and be safe.

"Damn, maybe I need to date a football player." Morgan says and I tell her I don't blame her which makes Charles grumble under his breath.

"You're so cute when you're jealous mon amour." I tell him and I watch him rolls his eyes.

"He didn't have to openly check you out right in front of me." He grumbles and I laugh loudly which makes him give me a dirty look so I walk up to him and wrap my arms around his waist.

"Do you realize how many women check you out right in front of me daily? Have you seen what some women say about you online? Yet you don't see me getting jealous because there's no reason to be. I only want you. And you only want me, right?" I say looking into his beautiful green eyes and I watch as his anger dissipates and the jealousy is gone.

"Oui, toi et moi jusqu'à bout." He tells me as he bends down to kiss along my shoulder where my 'jusqu'à bout' tattoo is. I shiver in his arms and he smirks.

Luckily the Pirelli team has now made their way over to us and we start getting prepared for our drive. I read over the cards once so I know what to expect and one of the Pirelli employees is making sure I'm buckled into the car properly and that my helmet is on securely. Charles is fiddling with settings on the steering wheel and I don't even know what he's up to. I set the questionnaire cards down on my lap when I've read through them all and turn to look at Charles.

"Any last words before we start?" Charles asks me, his eyes glittering mischievously and I smile. The only response I can think of for some reason is lyrics to Getaway Car by Taylor Swift.

"You know nothing good starts in a getaway carrrr..." I say just as he accelerates causing me to scream because we go from 0 to 60 in 3 seconds. Charles is laughing while looking at me as he accelerates even faster and we are quickly approaching the first turn.

"LP, I swear to god if you don't stop looking at me and watch the damn track, you won't be getting any tonightttt, ahhh!" I shout with wide eyes as I try to grab onto something for leverage and Charles laughs even harder but listens to me and focuses on the track. We go through the first turn then and as we drift I am holding on for dear life but I can't stop laughing.

"Mon soleil, you need to start asking those questions." Charles tisks and I glance down at the cards sitting in my lap, I had completely forgotten about the damn questions. I'm afraid of letting go but I have to for the video. Just as I lower my hands to grab the cards, Charles takes another turn and we start drifting again and I screaming yet again making Charles laugh.

"Oh my god, you need to stop that." I yell at him while holding on for dear life.

"Don't think so baby. I like making you scream." He replies suggestively and my mouth drops open at his innuendo. Francesca is going to be mad at us because we've already talked about sex twice and it's only been like 30 seconds.

I pick up the cards so we can try to turn this video into something other than us being...well, us. I'm thankful I read through the questions before hand because I can glance down at the card and recognize the question.

"Okay, first question. Which track is your favorite and why?"

"Monaco, because it's my home race and it's just really special to me."

"I bet it's such a magical atmosphere. I can't wait until next year." I say wistfully, as I imagine attending next year and getting to see it in all its glory. Charles glances over at me with so much love in his gaze but then he ruins the moment by taking a turn so fast that I think I'm about to die. Of course we don't because Charles knows what he's doing but I'm cursing him to hell. I give him a dirty look which makes him laugh and then asks me for another question.

For the next two laps I ask as many questions as I can all while screaming my head off and begging Charles to slow down. We have just started our last lap so we have time for the rapid fire questions and that's it. I can't help but thank god this is almost over. Don't get me wrong, it's been amazing and so much fun but there's only so much adrenaline I can take.

"Okay for this last lap I'm supposed to ask you this or that rapid fire questions, you ready?" I ask Charles and he winks and says yes as he accelerates.

"Instagram or Twitter?
"Twitter"
"Text or call?"
"Text"
"Night in or night out?"
"Night in"
"Pizza or Pasta?"
"Pasta"
"Chocolate or Vanilla?
"Chocolate"
"Beach or Mountains?"
"Beach"
"Italy or France?"
"Italy"
"Arthur or Lorenzo"
"Both"
"Toto or Christian?"
"Fred"
"Red Bull or Monster?"
"Red Bull"
"Lestappen or Charlos?"
"Both"
"Red or Black fireproofs?"
"Black"
"Oversteer or understeer?"
"Oversteer"
"Formula E or Indycar?
"Indycar"
"Wet or dry"
"Wet"
"Austin or Miami?"
"Austin"

We've finally made it to the finish line and I'm laughing like crazy. Partially because of some of Charles answers just now and partially from the adrenaline. I glance over at Charles and he's beaming at me.

"I have a this or that for you mon soleil." He says and I'm a little suspicious but say okay.

"Donuts or beignets?" He asks and I furrow my brows. That was not the question I was expecting.

"Aren't those basically the sameeee thinnggg? Ahhhh, Charlesss!" I scream as Charles starts doing donuts on the track. He's laughing and looking so happy and pleased with himself, cheeky bastard thinks he's so clever.

"I hate you." I tell him once he stops but I'm laughing as I say it.

"I love you." He says sweetly and I melt. I unbuckle my seatbelt and he does the same. Then I lean across the center console and pull him by the shirt towards me so I can kiss him. It's not the easiest since we're both wearing helmets but I don't care. There's nothing I want more in this moment than to kiss him.

"I love you too." I reply when I pull away. I'm sure I look like a love sick fool as I look at him but I don't care because he's looking at me the same way. One of Pirelli team members opens my door and the moment we were having breaks. The employee helps me out of the car and a moment later Charles is standing beside me directing us toward Francesca and Morgan. Both of them are beaming at us when we walk up hand in hand.

"How was it?!" Morgan asks with excitement.

"It was amazing but terrifying. Charles almost gave me a heart attack a few times." I tell her with a laugh.

"I can't wait to see the footage that was shot. I'm sure it's going to be hysterical." Morgan replies with a laugh.

"Uhh yeah. Fran, I'm not sure how you're going to feel about some of the footage." I say to her and she frowns.

"Oh no. What did you two do?" She says pointedly to Charles and I. We both look at each other and laugh but don't divulge the information to her.

"Fine don't tell me. I'll be getting the footage shortly anyways, I'll see it soon enough. In the meantime we need to get some photos of you two." She says and starts posing us and snapping photos.

After about five minutes she's finally content with what she's captured and we can finally take our helmets off. My hair is sticking to my face from the sweat and I'm sure I look crazy but I'm too happy to care. Charles helps fix my hair and smooths it down around my face before kissing the tip of my nose. I shake my head at his silliness and see that Morgan is recording us.

"Don't mind me! Just getting some content for my boss." She says with a thumbs up and I turn to Charles with raised eyebrows.

"I asked her take candid photos and videos of my everyday life so I can post more. I'm so happy with you and I want people to see it." He tells me and butterflies fill my stomach. It's a stark contrast from how he felt two months ago and it makes me happy.

We decide that it's time to head back to the airbnb to relax for a little bit before getting ready for a night out with some of the drivers. It was Daniels idea to go get dinner and then head to an"authentic country" bar. I couldn't say no because I've been dying to go line dancing since we've got here.

By the time we make it back to the airbnb Francesca has already seen the footage from the hot laps. To our surprise she wasn't upset about our dirty jokes and seemed really excited about the content, letting us know that they are already working on editing the footage with plans to release a sneak peak tomorrow and the full video on Friday.

I tell Charles and Morgan I'm going to go lay down for a little bit because I'm having an adrenaline let down and sudden super tired. I was fully expecting Charles to follow me but he let me know there was some things he needed to go over with Morgan first but he would join me shortly.

Something about his tone seems off to me but I don't know why. I try to brush it off as me getting used to Morgan being his assistant. It is the first official day so it's going to take some getting used to. But I don't like the fact that he might be keeping things from me and now one of my best friends knows something I don't. I need to get over it because Charles doesn't have to tell me everything at all and Morgan is his employee.

By the time I make it to our room I decide to just ignore my feelings for now, and take a nap. Maybe some sleep will give me clarity and make me realize I'm being silly and nothing is weird.

I change out of my clothes and slip on one of Charles' tee shirts. It smells like him and I can't help but inhale deeply as I lay down in the bed. Grabbing my phone from the bedside table, I scroll through social media for awhile, and decide to answer some comments and DM's. On twitter I find a post I was tagged in with screenshots of all of the questions I answered on my Instagram. I'm afraid to read the comments since it's basically impossible to be able to filter comments on twitter but I go to read them anyways.

I only read the first few comments on the thread and the replies and I'm happy to see that pretty much all of them are nice, except for one but that person is getting dragged in the comments. I'm happy that Charles' fans for the most part are accepting of me and as far as I've heard he hasn't lost any sponsors or deals because of me. Part of me is sad because if his original PR team would have just trusted us the whole break up could have been avoided. But everything happens for a reason and what we went through was meant to happen. And honestly it seems for the better.

Putting my phone down, I finally close my eyes and take the nap that I've been wanting to since we got back to the Airbnb. Charles is still not here with me though and I can't help but be slightly worried. What are they talking about? I debate staying awake to see just how long it takes him to come to me but realize that's crazy. It's not like they are doing anything bad, it's just work things. I realize I still don't fully trust him and it makes me a little sad. Of course I knew it would take time to trust him again but after having so many good days together it's a strange feeling when this type of emotion sneaks up on you.

Chapter 52: Heal

Chapter Text

Charles' POV

Lydia has been acting strange ever since we got home on Wednesday afternoon from hot laps. It's not noticeable to anyone but me because when I asked Max and Lando about if they thought she was acting different they looked at me like I was crazy. Maybe I am, but I swear something is wrong. But I have no clue as to what.

I was hoping to talk to her yesterday about it but with our busy schedules it was impossible. When I got back to the airbnb last night from a meeting with Ferrari she was already asleep. And when I woke up this morning she was already gone, claiming she needed to be at the Red Bull event early but when I asked Jeremy about it he said they weren't expected until 10am.

I'm trying not to freak out but I'm starting to freak out. She's pulling away from me and I don't know why. Everything seemed perfect after the hot laps challenge. Both of us were so f*cking happy. So what happened?

"Charles!" Morgan shouts and I turn my attention to see her looking at me with worry.

"I've been trying to get your attention for a minute now. What's going on with you?" She asks with concern and I sigh.

"Lydia is pulling away from me and I don't know why." I confess, maybe she knows why. They are best friends after all. Based on her expression though, she has no idea what I'm talking about.

"What do you mean? You two are stuck together like glue." She says with a laugh.

"I mean that after we got back to the airbnb on Wednesday from hot laps she's been distant. During the dinner and at the bar that night she barely talked to me. And I only saw her for maybe 10 minutes overall yesterday and haven't seen or heard from her at all today except for a text early this morning." I explain and this makes Morgan frown.

"I wouldn't read too much into it Charles. Wednesday night you both were hanging out with your friends, it's normal to not talk constantly. As for not really seeing her, she's been extremely busy prepping for the Red Bull event today. You don't have anything to worry about. Just focus on free practice today and you'll see her tonight, okay?" She says and as much as I want to argue that something is wrong, she's right. I need to focus.

"What did you need to talk to me about?" I ask.

"It's about the PI. He said he found out some interesting information about Lydia's parents that you might find interesting and said he emailed you. I don't have access to your email so I couldn't check what it was." She tells me and I perk up at that. I grab my phone from the small desk in my drivers room and hand it to Morgan.

"Check it for me? I have to go get ready." I tell her as I look at the time and realize free practice is about to start. She nods and sits down in the drivers room as I make my way to the garage.

For the next hour I focus only on driving and getting the feel for the track. It ends up being a pretty successful first practice with me ending up in P3 and Carlos in P5. I'm taking off my helmet and gloves when Morgan appears beside me and tells me good job.

"Thank you. Did you read what the PI sent?" I ask because I'm desperate to know what he thought I would be interested in seeing. She nods and tells me we should talk about it in my drivers room. When we get there she holds out my phone to me and displayed on the screen is some kind of will? I furrow my brows in confusion because why would I care about this?
Morgan sighs and zooms in on the document and I read the name on the beneficiary line, Ezra Reese Kincaid. My eyes flash to hers.

"This is the will of Lydia's maternal grandmother, Annabelle Reese. She apparently died about 7 months ago but the will was being withheld by the family because they were contesting it. Turns out it was valid, according to the county clerk office and the courts have now been trying to find Lydia since Ezra is under the age of 18." She explains and my mind begins to race with so many thoughts.

"I don't know if Lydia ever told you but both of her parents come from money. Old money. Like Texas oil, old money." Morgan says with emphasis. I furrow my brows because Lydia never told me how her parents were rich or how rich they even were. Just that they were. I still don't know how to process this information.

"Ezra is set to inherit $2 billion, Charles." Morgan says, looking at me with wide eyes. It takes me a moment to process what she said.

"Did you just say billion?" I ask because there's no way I heard that right. Right? Morgan nods and I am absolutely shocked and I have so many questions.

"So I think we know why her parents are causing trouble, right?" Morgan asks me and I shake my head because although this explains a little bit it doesn't explain everything.

"Let's break it down. Ezra is underage so Lydia has to be in control of the inheritance until he turns 18 because she is his legal guardian. They tried to bribe Ezra with money around the same time the grandmother died, right? But when Lydia found out he sent all that money back and stopped contact with them, right? Fast forward to Lydia being back in the United States only to get assaulted by a woman who has been stalking her for weeks and then bailed out by Lydia's parents. My theory is that they were trying to gain custody or guardianship over Ezra any way possible. When they realized they couldn't manipulate him into their good graces to do whatever they were planing to do, they instead decided to go directly after their own daughter. Trying to get her to assault someone so she'd get arrested and potentially have Ezra taken away from her. For him to either go into foster care or to his own flesh and blood." She finishes and holy sh*t that's probably exactly what it happening here. They wanted her to lose Ezra so they could become his guardians and take control of the will.

"How did Lydia come from such vile people?" I ask with sadness as I realize the extent these people will go to just to keep what they think should be their inheritance from going to their own daughter and grandson. It just goes to show how strong Lydia is and has been to be able to live such a hard life but still be a wonderful human being.

"I don't know." Morgan whispers and we both sit silently in my drivers room processing everything we just learned. I sit there until I have to go to the second free practice of the day. Unfortunately, it doesn't go very well, my mind won't stop thinking about what I just learned, so I end up in P7, while Carlos finished at P4.

Morgan and I are headed back to the airbnb thirty minutes after the second free practice ended. I asked Morgan to drive because I want to call the PI and speak with him. By the end of the call, I have learned the name of Annabelle's lawyers who are in control of the will currently. Once I get off the phone with the PI, I call the lawyers and they agree to meet this afternoon to finalize the will. They just need both Lydia and Ezra to be present with proof of identity. With that information in hand Morgan and I immediately set out to find Lydia and Ezra when we enter the house.

To our luck we find them sitting on the couch together watching tv. They both look up at us when we walk into the living room and they both make the same expression of concern when they see us. We must look anxious and worried, at least that's how I feel.

"What's wrong?" Lydia asks looking between the two of us with scrutiny and I realize in this moment that she might be thinking something is going on between Morgan and I and that's why she's been acting weird? I push that thought aside because we have more pressing matters to talk about that aren't wildly crazy.

"I hired a PI to look into your parents." I announce. Lydia looks perplexed by my statement.

"What? Why?" Ezra asks and I furrow my brows.

"Because they posted bail for the woman who assaulted your mom." I say which Lydia squeezes her eyes shut and I realize that she purposely didn't tell him that piece of information. She's still holding out hope that they may have a relationship with him and it breaks by heart.

"They what?! How could you not tell me that Mama?!" Ezra shouts and stands up from the couch in anger. Lydia squeezes her eyes shut again and sighs.

"She was trying to protect you from finding out their true colors Ez. Your grandparents are awful, vile people who do not care about your mother or you." I tell him. I realize it was harsh but I need him to understand, I need both of them to understand the extent these people will go to hurt them just to gain something that they think is theirs. Lydia's eyes flash to mine and she looks ready to murder me.

"The PI found some information out that you two need to hear." I tell them and Ez sits back down next to Lydia and grabs her hand and squeezes. Lydia nods her head at me to continue so I tell them everything Morgan and I learned about the will and then Morgan's theory about Lydia's parents intentions. By the time we're done explaining everything Lydia has tears steaming down her face and Ezra looks disgusted.

"I don't want the inheritance, they can have it. As long as they leave us alone they can have it!" He shouts as he wraps his arms around Lydia.

"Ez, it's $2 billion dollars." Morgan tells him. His mouth drops open in shock while Lydia just shakes her head back and forth, now crying harder. I can't take it anymore and rush to her, dropping to my knees in front of her and grabbing her face in my hands and wiping away her tears.

"Did I just hear that right? $12 billion dollars?" Ezra asks, sounding shocked which I don't blame him. That's a ridiculous amount of money. I nod to him and he turns to his mom.

"You always said they were rich, but billionaire status?! I don't understand why she left it to me." He says and Lydia takes a deep breath.

"I didn't want you to ever know that kind of wealth
baby. Having that amount of money makes people materialist and cruel and I didn't want that for you. I don't know why Grandma would have left everything to you. She was one of the people who disapproved of my pregnancy the most which hurt me the most because she and I were like two peas in a pod. We shared more than just a name, she was my best friend. And she's the reason your middle name is Reese. I wanted to continue her legacy in some way even though she abandoned me. I loved her the most out of everyone until you came along." She says while trying to fight off her tears. I grab her hands and squeeze them to let her know I'm here. She squeezes back.

"We can go meet with her lawyers to discuss the will if you want." I tell them and Ezra glances to Lydia and a silently conversation between the two of them happens before my eyes. A moment later Lydia turns to me.

"Let's go." She whispers and I nod and stand up.

Morgan decides to stay at the house while I drive Lydia and Ezra to the lawyers office. After Lydia explains the situation to the receptionist, we get ushered into a conference room and wait. A few minutes later a man in a well tailored suit walks in and sits down in front of where Lydia and Ezra are sitting. I'm tucked away in the corner because this doesn't really concern me but I want to be here for support. The lawyer introduces himself and then gets to the point.

"We've been trying to find you for a few weeks now. I'm glad that you came in. From my understanding you have read through the will already? And you are here to finalize it?" He asks and both Lydia and Ezra nod.

On the car ride here there was a lively discussion on what they were going to decide to do. After reading the will Lydia left the decision up to Ezra on whether or not they would finalize it or not. After all it was left to him and it should be his choice.

"Great! I will get our notary to come in to witness and attest and we'll get this all sorted out for you folks." He says and stands up so he can get the notary. Lydia turns to look at me and I smile at her in hopes it will calm her nerves. I know she's worried about what her parents will do once they find out the will got finalized. There's nothing I want more than to comfort her and tell her everything is going to be okay but I am also worried about what they might do. They've already hurt her so much that I hate the idea of them hurting her even more.

A couple of minutes later the lawyer returns with the notary and they quickly go through everything they need to sign. It only takes about 10 minutes for everything to be completed. Then the lawyer goes through all of the important documents regarding how the inheritance will be distributed. Most of it will stay in oil royalties since that's the majority of the inheritance, but Ezra will be getting about $50 million in deposits as well as numerous pieces of real estate that he can either sell or keep. Everything will be his when he turns 18, but until then Lydia is in control of it. The lawyers provide the bank account information and instructions on how to transfer it to her name. As well as the deeds to the real estate that need to be changed to Ezra's name which they offer to help with.

Lydia looks overwhelmed so I step it and let him know that we already have a lawyer who will be helping us with the transition and that if they have any questions they will contact him. The lawyer nods in understand and turns back to Lydia and Ezra.

"Well then I think we are done here. Thank you again for coming to finalize this. Annabelle was determined to take care of you both and I'm glad that this all worked out. Here is all the information we discussed with a certified copy of the will. There are also two letters in there, one for each of you from Annabelle." The lawyers says and I can tell Lydia is holding back tears. She stands then and Ezra does too and they both thank the lawyer and turn to me. I smile softly and grab Lydia's hand and we walk to the car.

On the car ride back to the Airbnb I put on our playlist in hopes that it would somewhat cheer Lydia up but she hasn't even looked at me since we got in the car. I'm trying not to take it personal, it's not me she's upset with. But I can't help but remember how she's been pulling away from me so maybe she is upset with me.

When we walk into the Airbnb she immediately goes to our bedroom without a word and I feel completely hopeless. I find Max and Kelly in the kitchen making dinner and when they see me I know instantly that Morgan filled them in on what happened.

"How is she?" Kelly asks and I sigh as I sit in one of the bar stools off the island.

"I don't know. I can see she's sad and worried but she didn't say a word after we left the layers office. I don't know what to do or how to help her." I say sadly and drop my head into my hands in frustration. All I want to do is make everything better for her.

"Oh Charles. You just need to be there for her in any way she needs. Even if it's just sitting silently with her. Show her that no matter what happens you'll be there." Kelly says and I drop my hands from my face.

"But what do I do if she pulling away from me? What do I do if she decides this is all just too much for her and she doesn't want me anymore? What then?" I ask, my voice full of worry and sadness.

Neither Kelly or Max respond, they don't know what to say. I chuckle sardonically as I stand from the stool and walk out of the kitchen, heading for our bedroom. I worry she locked the door behind her but when I try the nob it opens and I let out a relieved sigh.

I find Lydia laying in bed staring at an unopened envelope with her name written on it. She's running a finger alone her name as tears fall from her eyes. My heart breaks seeing her like this. I kick off my shoes and climb into the bed with her. Pulling her against me, I cocoon my body around hers. She doesn't say a word but I can feel her body relax into mine and she sets the unopened letter down and grabs my hand that's resting by her hips and links our fingers together. I let out a sigh of relief and kiss the top of her head and just lay here with her.

Eventually she falls asleep, I can tell by the way her breathing has evened out. I don't dare move, worried I'll wake her up. So I just hold her close and breathe her in. I try to think of ways I can help her through this, what I can do to cheer her up. An idea strikes me then and I grab my phone from my back pocket and pull up my text thread with Morgan.

Chapter 53: Rescue

Chapter Text

Lydia's POV

I open my eyes and my problems are still on the forefront of my mind. How is this my life? I will never understand. Never in a million years did I expect this. When Charles got back to the airbnb this afternoon with Morgan and they both looked nervous my mind immediately just began running through every worse case scenario possible. I could have never in a million years expected what Charles told me was actually going on.

When I tell you I was shocked when he said he hired a PI, and even more shocked when he told us what they had already found. I didn't know Charles had even thought about hiring a PI and although technically it was all public record, I never in a million years would have been looking for something like that. I didn't even know my grandmother had died and that makes me irrationally upset. My history is complicated and I try not to think about it or talk about it. It was always easier to keep it simple and just talk about my parents disowning me instead of the ins and outs of all of the people involved. It's upsetting enough talking about my parents but it was devastating for me to even think of my grandmother, let alone talk about her.

She and I were extremely close from the day I was born to the day I told her I was pregnant. She was actually the first person I told because I trusted her the most. That was the day our relationship crumbled. I still remember her face when I told her I was pregnant and that I wanted to keep the baby and the words she spoke after.

"If you decide to keep this baby, it will be the worst decision of your life. You will ruin each other." She told me with utter horror written on her face. It broke my heart, because out of everyone, I thought she would be supportive. Instead she told me one of the worst things I've ever been told, and will never be able to forget.

That was the last thing she said to me and now she's dead. And for some reason decided to leave her fortune to Ezra instead of her own daughter. I don't understand why. Picking up the letter that the lawyer gave me I stare at it, contemplating if I want to open it or not. My finger runs along her handwriting, 'Lydia' written in her beautiful script that I always loved. She was the only one to ever call me Lydia back then. She hated that my mother named me after her. She always said I needed my own name so she always called me by my middle name. That's part of the reason why I decided to make that my chosen name after my parents kicked me out.

"Lydia?" Charles whispers with obvious worry in his voice and I squeeze my eyes shut. I've been awful to him the last day and a half, completely avoiding him because I was creating fake scenarios in my head of why I thought he was being so dodgy with what he needed to talk to Morgan about. I hate that my mind immediately started doubting him. Especially now that I know it's because of this, of him digging up information on my parents so he can help me. I'm awful. I roll over to face him and he looks at me so tenderly that it makes me eyes tear up. He's been so amazing and supportive throughout this whole mess. His hand comes up to my face and he moves a piece of hair away from my cheek and puts it behind my ear.

"What's going on in that beautiful head of yours?" He asks and I sigh as I stare into his eyes.

"A lot." I answer and I know it's not the answer he wants but it's the only one I have at this point. There's so much I want to tell him but I don't want to trauma dump on him when he needs to be focusing on his race. His eyes are begging me to talk to him and I want to but I don't want to distract him.

"Charles, you need to be focusing on your race, not my crazy family drama. I don't want to burden you with all of this." I tell him and I think for a moment he's going to drop it, but he doesn't.

"I don't care about the race. I only care about you and making sure you are okay and I know you're not. So burden me. Dump all of your family drama on me, I want to help you mon soleil." He tells me and my heart seizes hearing the resolve in his words. He's telling me nothing but the truth and it makes me want to cry because he's being so great. I sit up in the bed then, and he follows suit. Grabbing his hand in mine for comfort I start talking.

Starting from the beginning, I tell him about my childhood. About how my parents treated me more as a prop than a daughter they loved and how my grandma was the only one to truly show me unconditional love. Then I tell him about what she said to me when I told her about Ezra and how that broke my heart more than my parents disowning me. I tell him how she and I were inseparable and best friends, how she was the one to call me Lydia first, how I don't know why she left everything to Ezra after what she said. Then I glance down at the letter that's still in my hand and I tell him I'm afraid to open it, that I'm afraid to read her words. How I'm worried that they will break my heart and just leave me with more questions.

By the time I'm done talking, Charles is holding me tight in his arms. There was a couple of times I saw him wipe at his eyes and I feel bad for making him cry.

"I think you need to read the letter. It might provide you with some closure. And if it doesn't, well I'll be here to help you through it." He tells me and I nod. He's right. With one deep breath I tear open the letter and pull it out of the envelope.

My Darling Didi,

I've tried to write this letter countless times and I never know how to start it. I know that you must have a lot of questions and I'll try my hardest to explain everything the best I can.

I've known I've been dying for awhile and I've had a lot of time to think back on my life and think about my fondest memories and my worst memories.

Some of the fondest ones are with you, like whenweused to go to the beach house for three weeks every summer, just you and me. We used to spend all day in the sun, building sand castles, finding seashells and sea glass along the waterline, and saving any jellyfish we could find. They were always your favorite which I never understood, but you had such a tender heart and wanted to save them all even if they stung you.

I'll never forgive myself for ruining our tradition. The worst moment in my life was the day you told me you were pregnant. Not for the reasons I know you are thinking, but because of what Isaidto you that day.
My biggest regret in my life is telling you that if you had Ezra that it would ruin your life, and that you would ruin each other. It wasn't true then, and I know it's not true now.

It was my immediate response because it's what happened with me. You don't know this but our situations are somewhat similar. I got pregnant at 16 with your mother and my parents forced me to keep her and found me a rich husband who didn't care she wasn't his, just to save face. I never wanted children, never wanted the life that I had.

I hated the money. Ran from it as much as possible, rebelled against it every chance I had which led to me getting pregnant by the poor boy from the wrong side of the tracks. My parents couldn't fathom having a grandchild who was not pure blood old money but their morals wouldn't let me end the pregnancy and they didn't want the scandal of putting a baby up for adoption.

So I was forced into a life I never wanted. Forced to have a child I never wanted. She and I ruined each other and that was my first thought when you told me you were pregnant. I thought it was history repeating itself and I didn't want that same fate for you.

The moment I said it and saw your face though I knew it wasn't the same circ*mstances. You wanted that child. But it was too late for me to take back my words. I saw it in your eyes that you would never forgive me.

It was a nearly impossible for me to not reach out to you over the years when I knew you were struggling. There was nothing more that I wanted to do but help you and be apart of your life again. To be apart of Ezra's life. But I knew you would never accept my help or want to have a relationship with me again.

You get your stubbornness from me so I knew there was no chance for me,even with your tender heart.

I still watched you through the years. Kept track of you both. Rooted for you both on the sidelines and watched you thrive as a mother even when you struggled. I watched silently as you made that boys dreams come true with no help whatsoever and I've never been so proud.

When you graduated from the University of Texas I was actually at the ceremony. Seeing you walk along that stage and get your diploma was another one of my fondest memories. I was so proud of you. You were so determined to make a wonderful life for yourself and Ezra and you did just that and more.

Seeing the woman you are today and all that you've accomplished takes away my regret of letting my parents control my life. Because if I wasn't forced to keep your mother than I would have never gotten you. And you my darling Didi are the best thing that ever came from me.

I know you are probably questioning why I'm leaving everything to Ezra. Well it's simple really. It's because I love you, Didi. And knowing that he's the product of only you makes him the perfect person to inherit it. You cared for him and nurtured him and made him who he is today and I have no doubt he's absolutely perfect. I debated on leaving it to you, but I didn't think you would accept it.

So I left it to Ezra because I knew you would give him the opportunity to make his own decision to accept it or not. And I knew he would accept it because there's no way he's not going to try to take care of you anywayhecan. I just know he loves you more than anything because it's exactly how I feel about you. So truthfully this inheritance is for the both of you, not just Ezra. I may have been manipulative in how I accomplished getting it to you, but I want you to be able to make all of your dreams come true since you made that boys dreams come true.

I love you Didi. I'm sorry I failed you but I hope you'll forgive me one day.

- Your Grandma Annbee -

Tears are steaming down my face and I'm a blubbering mess by the time I finish the letter. Charles hasn't let go of me since I started reading it, his constant comfort encouraged me to keep reading when all I wanted to do was cry. This letter isn't what I was expecting and I don't know how to feel about it all. I've held so much anger and resentment when it came to her and now to find out what I just did, it changes things. It changes everything I thought I knew.

I silently hand the letter to Charles, indicating he can read it because I know he's curious and I want him to know everything. As he reads it I contemplate the new information she confessed to. My mothers father wasn't her real father. And grandma never wanted children. It honestly explains a lot about their dynamic and why my mother is the way she is. This damn family has generation trauma that I'm happy to say is officially over. I still am shocked that she's leaving everything to us, but after getting all of that information, it makes sense I guess. It's her way of trying to make it up to me for abandoning me.

My emotions are all over the place. I'm angry and I'm sad. I wish she would have reached out to me throughout the years. Yes, I'm stubborn and yes her words cut me deep and I wasn't sure I could ever forgive her for saying them. But she was my favorite person, the one who loved me most and I know I would have forgiven her if she has only just talked to me. My life would have been so completely different if she had. But I wouldn't be where I'm at now if that were to have happened. So even though I'm mad she didn't reach out over the years I'm thankful she didn't. Like I said, my emotions are all over the place.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Charles asks as he folds up the letter and puts it back in the envelope for me.

"I'm not sure what to say. It's a lot of information to digest but I'm happy I read it. There's so many things I'm feeling. Sad and angry that she never reached out to me because I probably would have forgiven her and then I could have had her back in my life. And I know it doesn't make sense but I'm also happy that she stayed away because it led me down a path to right now, being here with you. If she had reached out, mine and Ezra's lives would be completely different and I'm thankful they aren't." I explain, and I realize none of what I just said probably makes any sense.

"I think everything your feeling is understandable. It is a lot to process. Did you know that about your mother?" He asks and I shake my head no.

"I didn't. But now that I do, a lot more makes sense about why my mother is the way she is. Neither of the people she considered parents wanted her and they were forced to be a family because of stupid familial expectations. I always wondered why my mother seemed to resent me and I think it's because she saw the relationship I had with my Grandma Annbee and wished it was the kind of relationship that they should have had. It sounds crazy but I kind of feel sorry for her." I explain and Charles smiles softly and shakes his head at my last statement.

"What?" I ask.

"Leave it to you to find compassion and empathy for the women who abandoned you. It just proves what your grandma said in her letter. You are the best thing that ever came from her. The only good thing in my opinion. You and Ezra are far too good for that family. The more I learn about them, the happier I am that they did what they did to you. As horrible as that sounds." He tells me and I smile.

"It's not horrible, it's true. It's unfortunate that I had to struggle but it made me who I am today and I know that me and Ez are 1000 times better off. I just hope my parents stay away. I really don't want to have to deal with them." I tell him and he nods in agreement and pulls me into his arms. I willing go, having missed him the last couple of days. We lay there silently, Charles playing with my hair and me playing with his necklace.

"Can I ask a question?" He asks and I rest my chin on his chest so I can look at him and nod.

"Why did you call her Annbee?" He asks and I was not expecting that question. I smile as I think about how that nickname came about.

"When I was maybe 5, my mother told me that I wasn't allowed to call my grandma 'Nana' any longer and that I was to call her 'Grandma Annabelle' to sound more proper." I explain and roll my eyes because it's ridiculous how it mattered at all what I called her.

"I had trouble saying Annabelle for some reason so my grandma suggested to choose a nickname to make it easier for me. She gave me the option of Annie, Belle or Nellie. I couldn't choose because I liked them all so my 5 year old brain came up with Annbee and it stuck. My grandma loved it but my mother hated it which made it all the better." I explain with a laugh, thinking back on the fond memory. He's smiling and laughing with me.

"I love that. And why did she call you Didi?" He asks.

"I'm actually not sure, she just always did." I tell him wishing I knew why she did but now I'll never be able to find out. He must sense the drop in my mood because he grabs me by the hips and moves me so I'm straddling him. I giggle because I wasn't expecting it but then he grabs the back of my neck, tangling his fingers into my hair and brings me down to his mouth where he proceeds to kiss me senseless.

Chapter 54: Shameless

Chapter Text

Charles' POV

Things with Lydia are thankfully back to normal. At least as normal as they can be with everything that she's learned in the last few days. I'm relieved that she seems to be handling everything pretty well since she read the letter from her grandmother.

It's now race day, and we are having breakfast with my maman. The two of them are sitting close, looking at photos on Lydia's phone of Ezra over the years and laughing about his haircuts throughout the years. It's strange seeing them so friendly after their first initial meeting in Monaco. But my mother pulled Lydia to the side yesterday and they had a long talk. Lydia won't tell me what they discussed but whatever it was seems to have helped their relationship. I'm relieved and happy to see it.

"This is probably the haircut I'm most proud of. I had finally got the hang of cutting it. Too bad it was right in time for him to leave to Italy. I haven't given him a haircut since, probably much to his relief." Lydia laughs as she shows my maman the photo who is smiling at Lydia.

"Ahh yes, this one is much better than the previous." My maman replies tactfully as she looks at the photo and Lydia laughs.

"You don't have to lie to me Pascale. I know it's awful, especially to the trained eye like yours." Lydia replies with a shake of her head as she looks at the photo again.

My phone dings with a notification on the table and I grab it to see who it is. It's a text from one of my head strategist asking me to come in earlier than we planned so we can start going over our strategies one last time before the race.

After having a bad second free practice, I went into yesterday with more of a clear head since things between Lydia and I were much better and I wasn't worried about her. I ended qualifying in P3 so I'll be starting the race in the second row.

"Hey, I have to head to the track earlier than planned. Do you both want to come with me or will you come later?" I ask, interrupting their conversation.

"Why don't you take Lydia and I'll come with Lorenzo and Charlotte a little later. I'm sure you two would like some time together since I've been monopolizing it all since I've arrived." My maman suggests and I can't help but smile.

We have been spending all of our free time with her since she's gotten here but I don't mind and Lydia doesn't seem to either. I think now that her and my maman are friendly she's desperate for some motherly bonding since she hasn't had any for almost 15 years. I can't help but notice Lydia's smile fall a little but when my maman looks at her she hides it.

"Sounds like a plan." She tells my maman and grabs her purse from the table and stands up.

I stand up and meet her halfway, grabbing her hand and squeezing it. She smiles at me but I can see something is bothering her. We quickly say goodbye to my maman and head to my car so we can drive to the track.

"What's wrong mon soleil?" I ask her when I pull out of the parking lot.

"I thought things were going well with your mother, but now I'm not sure." She replies and I furrow my brows in confusion. I glance toward her to see she's staring down at her lap, twisting her bracelet with anxiety.

"Why do you say that? You two were having a great time this morning." I reply as I reach for her hands.

"We were...ugh sorry, I'm being stupid." She says and I frown.

"Lydia, stop. You're not being stupid, but tell me what's bothering you." I tell her.

"I guess it just felt like she was trying to get rid of me just now. I would have happily spent the morning with her." She confesses and it saddens my heart to hear her say something like that because it's not true. My maman would have happily spent the morning with her too, but thought she was being nice by giving her an out.

"Baby, that's not what she was doing. If anything she was giving you an out to get rid of her." I tell her with a soft chuckle but Lydia doesn't seem convinced. I sigh.

"Like I said I'm being stupid. Let's just forget about it. You need to focus on the race." She says as she glances out the window and I internally groan in frustration.

We're quiet for the rest of the car ride to the track and I realize that maybe it was wishful thinking on my part about us being back to normal. Once I park, I can see that Lydia is anxious again and I wish I could help her. Grabbing her hand I stop her from leaving the car.

"Hey, look at me. Everything is going to be okay. I know you're stressed about a lot right now and your emotions are high but you have to know I'm here to support you. So what do you need me to do?" I ask as I plead with her.

"Kiss me." She whispers and I don't hesitate. I pull her towards me and kiss her. If this is what she needs to help calm her down then I'm not going to say no. I can feel her relax into me as I deepen the kiss, causing her to moan softly into my mouth. It causes my dick to harden and I know I need to stop the kiss. We haven't had sex since my birthday and I miss it. After having so much sex literally all in one day, to not having any is not fun. Don't get me wrong, I'm not upset we haven't had sex since then. Things have been insane with everything happening with the will, on top of it being a race week and both of us needing to focus on our jobs.
We still end the night in each others arms, having the type of intimacy that is necessary for a relationship to work. But when she moans like that I just think of being inside of her.

"We should go. If we keep going I'm going to want to f*ck you and I can't do that here so..." I tell her as I pull away from her. She smirks as I open my door and step out. Meeting me at the back of the car, she grabs my hand in hers and smiles brightly. I'm happy her mood is better now.

As we walk through the paddock I sign some autographs and take photos with fans. Lydia stays close but out of the way and I know she is feeling a little awkward. This is her first time in the paddock as my girlfriend and with Ferrari. Once we get further into the paddock there are less fans so I grab her hand in mine again.

"You good?" I ask as we approach the Ferrari garage and she nods with a bright smile. When we get to the garage I make sure to introduce her to everyone and by the time I'm done with that, Morgan has arrived with Francesca. They take Lydia with them to the Ferrari hospitality so I can meet with my strategists, engineers, the pit crew and with Fred.

A few hours later, I'm done with my meetings, I had a mini workout with Andrea and now I'm getting ready for the drivers parade. I haven't seen Lydia since this morning and I hope she comes to the garage soon so I can see her before the race. My maman, Arthur, Lorenzo, Charlotte and Morgan are here, but Lydia, Ezra, and Jeremy are no where to be seen. I'm trying not to get worried.

"Have you heard from Lydia or Ez? I ask Arthur as I put my Ferrari hat on.

"I haven't. Ezra and Jeremy left before I did though, so they should be here. Maybe they are just still up in hospitality." He tells me and I nod.

During the whole drivers parade, I'm distracted. I still smile and wave to the fans and do my media duties but I can't help but have a bad feeling. I'm not sure why, but something feels off. I don't know if it's because of our discussion this morning about my maman. Or if it's just about everything that's happened this week.

When I get back to the Ferrari garage, she's still not here. Now I'm really worried but I can't do anything about it because I have to get into my race suit and head back to the track for the national anthem.

I'm just putting my fireproofs on in my drivers room when there is a knock on the door. I turn to open it and see Lydia standing there. I'm relieved to see her until I see her face. She's been crying. What happened? I'm about to ask but she pulls me in for a kiss before I can.

"We'll talk about it after the race. I'm fine, I promise." She tells me when she pulls back, knowing I was going to ask about why she was crying.

"Right now, you need to focus on the race." She continues looking at me pointedly, silently telling me to listen to her and not ask about why she's crying.

"You're okay?" I ask as I stare into her eyes to see if she's telling me the truth when she responds.

"Yes, I promise." She tells me and I don't see any sign of it being a lie. I relax then and pull her into a tight hug, breathing her in.

"Okay. Time to go win the race." I tell her as I grab her hand and walk down the hall to the garage.

I leave her with our family and friends who are watching the race in the garage and go line up for the national anthem. Ten minutes later I'm sitting in my car on the track getting ready for the formation lap.

"Xavi, can you have Lydia come out here for a second?" I say into my radio.

"Copy." He replies and a minute later I see my girl walking towards me. When she gets beside my car she bends down so she can look at me. She looks so beautiful and happy again, her eyes no longer red from tears and I smile.

"You better be waiting for me at the podium presentation mon soleil." I tell her. We haven't talked about her being there if I make the podium but I want to make sure she knows that I want her there so there is no confusion. She smiles brightly at me.

"I'll be front and center LP." She says and she leans forward and kisses my helmet like she was kissing me. f*ck I love her.

"Be safe. I love you." She tells me as she pulls away. I tell her I will and that I love her too and then I watch her walk away back to the garage.

"Time to focus, Charles." Xavi says in my ear and I roll my eyes.

"Yeah yeah." I reply and take a deep breath. It's only a few minutes later we are starting the formation lap and waiting for the lights to go out.

Fifty six laps, 1 red flag and 1 virtual safety car later I'm pulling into the number 1 spot at the finish line. I can hear my team celebrating in my ear and I can't keep the smile off my face. As I climb out of my car, I face the crowd and pump my fists in the air in celebration causing the whole crowd to erupt. I look towards the barriers surrounding the cars and my eyes immediately find Lydia. She's staring at me with the biggest smile and her eyes are glistening as she watches me. I immediately go to her, pulling her into my arms tightly as my team surrounds us patting my back and hugging us both.

I've never felt love like this and I've never been this happy. I just won the GP, I have my girl, and a great team surrounding me. It's overwhelming. After the team moves away from us, I pull away having to go do my weigh ins, post race interviews and then finally go to the cool down room before the trophy ceremony. But I take my helmet off followed by my balaclava and lean forward and give my girl a kiss.

"I love you. I hope you're ready to get wet for me baby." I whisper in her ear and I feel her shiver against me. Pulling away then, I smirk at her before walking away. Her eyes are a little hooded and I know my innuendo hit it's mark. Although I mainly mean wet with champagne, I also mean wet in another sense too.

By the time I get to the cool down room, Max and Lewis are sitting down watching footage from the race and talking about an overtake that Lando did against Carlos to get into P4. I set my helmet and gloves down just as someone comes to get us for the podium ceremony.

Five minutes later I'm standing on the number 1 spot listening to the Monegasque national anthem. I can't keep the smile off my face as I hear it and see Lydia staring up at me with so much love. I wink at her when the song ends and she laughs.

Finally we get to the champagne celebration after getting our trophies and celebrating them. But this is my favorite part. Max is the first to start the champagne celebration, spraying it directly in my face while laughing like a maniac. I can't help but laugh as I spray him right back as well as Lewis.

Then I turn to the crowd, my main focus on Lydia. She doesn't realize my goal until she starts getting soaked. She's laughing but shocked, trying to shield herself with her arms but it's no use. I smile broadly at my job well done at getting her wet and she jokingly narrows her eyes at me while shaking her head. A few moments later, someone is ushering me back to the cool down room then I'm being led to do even more post race interviews.

About thirty minutes later, I'm walking into the Ferrari garage. I immediately see my maman, Arthur, Lorenzo, Charlotte, Ezra and Morgan when I walk in but Lydia is nowhere to be found. Everyone congratulates me but doesn't go for hugs since I'm sticky and smelly. I cant help but look around while they talk to me, only half paying attention.

"She's in your drivers room." Morgan tells me and I smile sheepishly, but thankful for the information. I leave them with a promise to see them soon and head to my room. When I open the door, I see Lydia standing in the middle of the room in only her underwear.

"f*ck. You're lucky it was me who opened the door mon soleil." I tell her as I run my eyes over her body.

"You were going to be the only one to come in here right now." She tells me and rolls her eyes. She's probably right but still.

"Why are you standing in your underwear in the middle of the room?" I ask as I walk farther into the room.

"Oh I don't know. Maybe because some guy decided to spray a whole bottle of Champagne in my face and ruined my clothes." She says in annoyance and I have my bite my lip to keep from laughing.

"I told you to be ready to get wet for me." I tell her and she narrows her eyes at me.

"I thought you meant a different kind of wet." She says, and I can't keep my distance anymore.

Pulling her into my arms, I grab her ass with my hands and kiss her roughly. She moans into my mouth and I feel my dick begin to get hard. She deepens the kiss then and now I'm the one who is moaning. With my dick getting harder I realize I need to get out of my race suit or I'm going to be extremely uncomfortable. I pull away from her mouth but her lips just move to my neck as her hands wrap into my hair.

Pulling the zipper down on my race suit, I try my best to peel it off of me but it's difficult. Luckily Lydia sees me struggling and takes over, pushing it down to my hips. I tangle my hands into her hair and pull her head back lightly as I lick along her neck. She is writhing against me and I know she's throughly turned on now.

I pick her up by the crook of her knees and walk over to the small built in desk, laying her down on it before dropping to my knees. She sits up on her elbows to look at me. She watches as I remove her underwear and then slide a finger along her folds. She throws her head back and moans as I do it again.

"And now you're wet for me this way mon soleil. We both got what we wanted." I tell her right before I put my mouth on her. She screams out in satisfaction as I pleasure her with my tongue, it only takes a few minutes before she's coming apart on my tongue and f*ck is that the best way to celebrate a race win.

Chapter 55: Crazy

Chapter Text

Lydia's POV

I am so thankful that Charles' driver room has a shower. After the champagne celebration, followed by the phenomenal sex we just had against the desk, I'm a sticky mess and I smell like champagne and sex. The shower is very small so we are basically hugging each other while trying to get clean. It's making me want him again already, but we have people waiting for us and things to do. Morgan & Francesca were luckily able to get Charles out of any more interviews which is nice, but we have plans to go out to an early dinner with his family and Ezra since his mother leaves on a red eye tonight back to Monaco.

As we step out of the shower I realize that I don't have any clothes to change into after the champagne shower but before I can even say anything Charles is walking to his backpack and handing me a hoodie and sweat pants. I smile at him in gratitude and quickly get dressed, bypassing underwear all together since it also got wet. A few minutes later Charles is dressed and we have our things packed to head back to the Airbnb so we can change and go to dinner.

When we walk out of the drivers room hand in hand our friends and family are waiting for us, giving us knowing looks. I should probably feel embarrassed but I don't. Pascale gives me a wink and I do blush but I'm thankful that she and I seem to be in a good place now.

This morning I thought she was maybe trying to get rid of me but during the race she told me she could tell that Charles needed some one on one time with me especially since he'll be leaving for Mexico while I head to San Diego. She just wanted us to be able to spend time together, it wasn't about getting rid of me.

Everyone takes their turn congratulating Charles with hugs and pats in the back. Finally we start heading to the car so we can go when I see any older couple waiting at the exit of the paddock.

"I thought I told you to leave. Why the hell are you still here?" I ask them with anger as when we approach them. I feel Charles squeeze my hand and I know he's probably confused.

"Stop causing a scene Annabelle. We just wanted to meet our future son-in-law, that's all." My mother says in response to my question as she looks me up and down in the clothes Charles let me borrow with distaste and I want to f*cking scream. My father just stands there doing absolutely nothing except looking at Charles. I'm sure he just sees dollar signs in his eyes since money is all he can think about.

"You'll get a f*cking scene if you don't leave. You are not welcome here. I don't want you anywhere near me, Ezra or Charles." I tell her with so much hatred that I'm even scaring myself.

"Always so dramatic. You know what we want Annabelle. Give it to us and then we'll leave you alone. Until then, we're going to be a apart of your life again. I truly don't know why you hate us so much anyways, we are not the villains to make us out to be." My mother continues completely deluded in her thinking that and it takes everything in me to not snap.

"You absolutely are the villains. Who abandons their daughter just because she got pregnant and wanted to keep the baby? And not to mention what you are doing now in regards to the will, trying to hurt or get your own flesh and blood in trouble with the law just to gain access to money and take her child away from her. It's despicable behavior. You two are horrible people who don't deserve anything good. I don't know what you are asking Lydia for, but there's absolutely no way in f*cking hell that you're getting it. I will fight tooth and nail to stop whatever it is you're trying to accomplish here. I will fight dirty, I will do anything in my power to protect her and Ezra from you people. Now if you would move we will be leaving." Charles tells them with so much anger and hated that he sounds terrifying. I've never seen him this way.

Neither of my parents do anything. I notice my mothers nose in flaring and her jaw is tense as Charles leads us away and my father looks like he couldn't care at all about what just happened.

Charles walks fast and without saying a word. He practically drags me to the car and when we finally get to it he ushers me quickly inside. Once he's seated he starts the car and pulls out of the parking lot quickly. He's gripping the steering wheel so tightly his knuckles are turning white and I frown.

"That's why you were missing earlier and why you were crying." He says darkly, glancing over at me for a moment and I nod.

"Yes. They somehow were able to get into the Ferrari hospitality and then cornered me. Ezra and Jeremy were with me when they approached us but I was desperate for Ezra to not be there and thankfully Jeremy convinced him to leave so I could find out what they wanted." I tell him as I think back at how stressed I was to have them so close to Ez.

"So what do they want?" He asks me and I shake my head in annoyance.

"At first they threatened me, telling me if I didn't get Ezra to sign a disclaimer to refuse the inheritance that they would do everything in their power to take him from me. When they realized that didn't scare me, because I would never let them take Ez from me, they changed tactics and gave me an offer. They said they would leave Ezra and I alone forever if we gave them all of the oil royalties, my grandmothers house and the beach house." I tell him and he furrows his brows as he stares at the road in front of us.

"Basically that's everything in the will except the deposits." Charles scoffs.

"There's no way you're agreeing to that!" He adds and I turn to look out the window. At first when they told me what they wanted I scoffed like Charles. There was no way I was going to bow down to their demands, but now? The fact that they were waiting for us and my mother told me they'll be apart of our lives if I don't give them what they want. The inheritance doesn't seem worth it, I'd rather them be out of my life forever than have them lurking about and me never knowing when they'll make themselves known.

"There's no way you are agreeing to that Lydia!!" Charles shouts and I turn to look at him. He's looking at me incredulously and I sigh.

"If it means they'll leave us alone and never bother us again, then maybe I should do what they're asking." I explain and he shakes his head in annoyance and turns his gaze back to the road. He doesn't say another word for the rest of the drive and neither do I. Tears are threatening to spill over because of course my parents would ruin a day that should be happy and celebratory. Now it's tainted with drama that Charles doesn't need to be apart of. And now he's angry with me because of it.

When we pull up to the airbnb, the second Charles parks in the driveway and turns off the car he's getting out and storming into the house, leaving me still sitting in the car wondering how we could have gone from being so happy one minute to this. A tear sneaks out of my eye and I quickly wipe it away as I climb out of the car and then I make my way into the house.

I find Charles in our room, getting changed but he doesn't acknowledge me when I walk into the room. I go and sit on the edge of the bed and watch him as he puts in his shoes followed by his jewelry. I can tell he's angry still by his movements and I don't know what to do. When he's done he finally looks at me but it's not my Charles looking at me, no. This is someone different and it makes my heart ache.

"I'll meet you at the restaurant, I have to go do something first." He tells me and walks out of the room. I stare in shock at him walking away from me and my heart breaks. Why is he acting this way? A moment later I hear the door slam behind him and the tears that have been threatening to fall, do.

I've somehow managed to ruin a special day for Charles with my crazy family drama and I feel absolutely gutted. Maybe he's better off without me in his life. I feel like I'm just causing him unnecessary stress and anxiety. I've frustrated him this week, with my hot and cold behavior and I know he's been more stressed than I've ever seen him. It's not healthy. I'm not good enough for him. He needs someone with less baggage and a normal family. Not someone like me.

I sit on the bed, staring at the wall as tears fall down my face for I don't know how long. Faintly I hear my phone ring, but I ignore it. But then a few minutes later I hear it again and I snap out of my trance and find my phone in my purse. Glancing at the name displayed on the screen, I see it's Morgan.

"Hey." I answer, and I know my voice sounds off. I sound dejected.

"Hey, where are you? Everyone's at the restaurant waiting for you guys." She says and I cry even harder when I think of everyone we love waiting for us when it feels like everything is falling apart.

"I'm not coming." I tell her.

"What do you mean?" She asks with a worried voice and I can tell she must be going somewhere away from the group because it's getting quiet. A sob rips from my throat as I try to respond.

"What happened?" She asks desperately.

"When Charles and I were leaving the track my parents were waiting for us at the exit." I start and I can hear Morgan gasp. She knew about what happened with my parents today, I told her during the race.

"It went as you would expect and when we finally got to the car I explained what happened earlier today to Charles. He got upset with me for considering their offer and stopped talking to me. When we got to the airbnb he stormed into the house without me and when I found him he was getting dressed but then left without me saying he had something to do." I say as I wipe my tears and try to calm down.

"Oh babe. It's going to be okay." She says into the phone and in the background I can hear Jeremy asking if everything is okay. They still haven't worked out their issues yet, Morgan still upset by how he reacted but he can't stay away. So it's no surprise he's there as she's talking to me. Suddenly I hear her muffled words and I know she must be telling Jeremy what's happened. As I wait for her to come back on, I put my phone on speaker and then head to my suitcase.

I probably should pick and outfit and go to the dinner, it would be rude of me not to show up even if it's the last thing I want to do. But something is holding me back. Maybe it's better if I stay away. Charles seemed so frustrated with me and then he left without any explanation, no I love you, no hint at us being okay. Staring at my suitcase, I realize that I need to leave.

Charles doesn't need all of this drama and craziness in this life. He already has enough of it by just being himself and he doesn't need me adding to the stress of it. I'm so lost in my thoughts that it takes me awhile to realize Morgan is yelling my name.

"Lydia! Are you still there? Lydia!!" She shouts and I snap out of my thoughts.

"Sorry, what?" I ask as I shake my head and start folding the clothes in my suitcase.

"Jeremy is going to come to the airbnb to pick you up so get ready. Charles just texted Arthur saying he's only 5 minutes away. Everything will be okay. I promise." She tells me and I take a deep breath.

"Okay, I'll see you soon." I tell her but I'm lying. By the time Jeremy gets here, my plan is to be gone.

—————

"Oh thank god." I hear Jeremy mutter as he steps into the bathroom where I'm putting the last of my makeup on. I'm already dressed in jeans and a white crop top tee shirt and converse.

"Sorry, I'm just finishing up and then we can go." I tell him as I make eye contract through the mirror. He looks stressed like he's been running his hands through his hair. He stares at me with clear relief in his gaze and I know that he was worried I was leaving. He knows me too well, probably because we are the exact same.

"Take your time. I'm just relieved you're here. I thought I was going to get here and your bags and you would be gone." He tells me and I turn to him, setting my mascara down on the counter.

"I was planning on leaving, had my bags packed about 5 minutes after I ended the call with Morgan. I got it in my head that Charles didn't want me. I convinced myself that I was not good enough for him and I only added stress to his life and that he wouldn't care if I left or not." I tell him as I shake my head in annoyance at myself. How could I think that about Charles when he's literally been nothing but supportive this week? Consistently telling me that he loves me, he's here for me, that he would do anything for me. I clearly lost my mind for a moment.

"And what made you a stay?" He asks me with curiosity.

"I got my head out of my ass and thought about how Charles has been nothing but perfect since we've reconnected. How he's consistently made sure I know how he feels about me, how he will do anything for me, how he's been here for me through a ridiculous amount of drama in a short time frame and hasn't complained once. I realized if I left he would be devastated thinking he did something wrong when he's been doing everything right."

"I'm glad you figured that out. He's surprised me, I wasn't expecting him to be as amazing with you as he has been. I was fully expecting to come in hating him but he's great Lyd. He loves you so much, everyone can see it. I'm glad you finally are seeing it too. But thinking you aren't good enough for him is ridiculous. You're equally as amazing to him and love him just as much if not more." Jeremy tells me.

"I do love him. So f*cking much. He's everything I've ever wanted and more. But I'm worried that my family drama is just too much for him. He completely shut down when I told them I was considering my parents proposition, and then left me here with no explanation. What am I supposed to do with that information?" I ask as we make our way out of the bathroom and I grab my purse on the bedside table.

"I don't know why he would do that. Men are stupid sometimes. But I'm sure it's because he's working through something. You need to trust him." Jeremy says and I frown. Do I trust Charles? That's been the million dollar question since we've reconnected.

I've been consistently fighting with myself about whether or not I do. My heart does, but my brain is telling me it's too fast to trust him again. But how can I not after everything that's happened? He's been my rock through it all. He's my comfort and the person I want to help me deal with my problems.

"Are you speaking from experience? Anything you wanna talk about? Perhaps a beautiful blond you've been in love with for over a year." I ask him as we step out of the airbnb. Jeremy looks at me pointedly but doesn't say anything as we climb into the car.

"She still won't give me a chance to explain why I reacted the way I did." Jeremy tells me as he starts to drive us to the restaurant.

"Why did you react that way? I would have thought it was a dream come true." I ask because I'm honestly confused about his reaction.

"Everything has been a whirlwind with us. I feel like we got swept up in everything and didn't talk about anything. She knows I've liked her for a long time but she doesn't realize the extent of it, or how deep my feelings are. And I know there's no way she's not still a little hung up on Tyler. They were together for so long. So I didn't want to put any pressure on her. Of course I thought about her coming with us to Austria, but I didn't know if that was something she would even consider. When Charles offered her the job I don't know why I reacted the way I did. Like I said men are stupid." He says and I laugh as he continues,

"I was just confused and shocked and it all happened so fast that I couldn't process my feelings and thoughts fast enough. I'm still processing through everything but it doesn't help that she's not talking to me. I'm hoping that once we're back in San Diego away from the chaos and whirlwind of this trip that she and I can sit down and talk. I need to try to explain everything to her, I just hope she lets me."

"I hope so too. You two are too adorable to be apart." I tell him just as we drive into the parking lot of the restaurant.

Chapter 56: Fine Line

Chapter Text

Charles POV

When I walk into the restaurant I'm feeling much better than I was when I left Lydia at the airbnb. After she told me she was considering her parents proposal I could not stop thinking about what I could do to stop her parents all together. The whole drive back to the house I was coming up with options of what I could do to help because I was determined to fix this for her and Ezra. I know she would never ask for help and there was no way I was letting her parents do this. They don't deserve a single cent of that inheritance after everything they've done.

Her mother was worse than I could never imagine and her father didn't even say a word during the whole exchange. I still don't understand how they made such an amazing human. In my opinion that's the only good thing they've ever done.

I understand why Lydia told me she's considering their proposal just wanting them to leave her and Ezra alone. But something tells me that even if she and Ez agreed to it, her parents would still try to pry into her life. I saw the way her father looked at me, could see the dollar signs in his eyes, the intrigue in my notoriety and status. And once Ezra got into Formula 1 as well, they would ramp it up even more.

So I needed to figure out a way to prevent them from ever getting a cent from the inheritance and for them to leave us alone forever. The idea struck me right as we pulled up to the airbnb and I rushed into the house so I could change and grab the letter from Lydia's grandmother. I hide it behind my back under my shirt so Lydia can't see it. I don't want her to worry about what I'm about to do.

When she comes into our room a few minutes later she sits on the bed and watches me as I put my shoes and jewelry on. Once I'm done, I look up at her and she looks sad. I need to fix this now so I can make her smile again. It's the most important thing to me.

"I'll meet you at the restaurant, I have to go do something first." I tell her as she stares at me and I rush out of the room to my car. I'm in a rush because everyone is waiting at the restaurant already but I know Lydia will be fine to get to the restaurant without me. As I pull out of the driveway I pull out my phone and find the contract information from the PI who I hired to look into Lydia's parents.

"Charles, congratulations on your race win." He says as he answers and I tell him thank you before he asks me why I called him.

"Did you find out any other information on Lydia's parents?" I ask.

"I've found a lot. Those people have a lot of dark secrets. Do you want me to send it all to you?" He asks me and I tell him yes just as I pull up to the hotel the Ferrari team is staying in. He tells me he'll send it now and we hang up the phone.

When I get into the hotel, I have the front desk call Nicholas and Francesca to let then know I need to speak with them and go wait in one of the small conference rooms while I pull up the email the PI just sent me. When I start reading all of the information he's found my jaw drops. Dark secrets is putting it lightly.

A few minutes later Nicholas and Francesca come into the room with concerned looks in their faces. As I tell them everything that is going on with Lydia ever since we found out about the will, they can't believe everything I'm telling them. It's definitely stuff worthy of a soap opera.

"So what's your plan? We'll help you in any way possible." Nicholas tells me when I finish telling them.

"The PI I hired just sent me more information about them, information that I know they would not want to get out. I want to get them to sign a legal document stating that they will never contact Lydia, Ezra, myself or any future children we have. As well as drop their pointless attempts at gaining access to the will and in exchange we won't release the information we have on them." I tell him and he furrows his brow. Technically it's probably blackmail that I'm suggesting but I don't care.

"That's blackmail." Francesca states with worry and I turn to her.

"That's why I called you here, in case something goes wrong and I get into legal trouble. You'll have to work overtime and I wanted to warn you." I tell her and she looks at me like I've lost my mind and maybe I have.

"I actually don't think it's blackmail since you aren't asking for money you're just asking for them to leave you alone. If anything based on what you've told me, they are the ones trying to blackmail Lydia." Nicholas says.

"I'll have our lawyers prepare the document and compile all of the information you were sent from the PI and we'll give it to her parents first thing tomorrow morning." He continues and I nod in relief. Hopefully this will all be over by tomorrow.

"There's one more piece of information I want to be sent with that stuff, a copy of this letter." I say and hold out the letter from Lydia's grandmother. Francesca takes it from me and says she'll go make a copy at the front desk. Nicholas looks at me strangely and I tell him I want the letter specifically addressed to Lydia's mother because she needs to read it.

A minute later Francesca is back and hands me back the original letter while handing the copy to Nicholas. We talk for a few more minutes before I realize I'm now very late to dinner and take my leave. Nicholas told me he'll let me know when the documents are sent to her parents and I give both him and Francesca a thank you before leaving.

As I walk into the restaurant and find the table my family and friends are sitting at I notice that Lydia isn't here yet and I furrow my brows. Jeremy is also absent and I see Morgan staring down at her phone in worry. My stomach drops because something's wrong.

"Charles, there you are! Where is Lydia?" My maman asks as she notices me.

"I had to go talk to Nicholas about something and Lydia was supposed to meet me here." I frown as I sit down in an empty chair and pull my phone out of my pocket and bring up her contact information and call her. She doesn't respond and my worry is now tenfold.

I look up at Morgan who is looking at me and she looks worried too. What the f*ck is going on? The rest of the table can sense my worry but continue with their conversations. I pull up my texts and find Morgan's name.

Me: What's going on?
Morgan: I called her about 20 minutes ago asking where she was and she said she wasn't coming.
Me: What? Why? What happened?
Morgan: She said you were angry with her because she said she was considering what her parents proposed and then you left her with no explanation.
Morgan: I told her everything was going to be okay and sent Jer to pick her up. She told me she'd see me soon. But I can't get ahold of either of them. I'm worried she ran.
Me: f*ck. I'm an idiot. I have to go.

I abruptly stand up making everyone at the table look at me like I've gone insane and just as I'm about to explain I have to leave, I feel a hand on my waist. I turn to see Lydia standing beside me and I feel like I could cry. Thank f*ck she's here. I can feel my body relax as I pull her tightly into a hug. She hugs me back just as I can hear everyone go back to their conversations.

"I'm sorry I'm late." She whispers when I pull away to look at her and pull out her chair for her so she can sit down. I sit beside her and pull her chair a little closer to mine.

"I don't care. I'm just happy you're here." I whisper and pull her towards me so I can give her a kiss.

When she pulls away she is staring at me intently and I know there's a lot we need to talk about but it's going to have to wait until we're alone. I tell her we'll talk about it later and she nods.

For the remainder of the dinner we enjoy our time with our friends and family. Laughing at the antics of Ezra and Arthur and soaking up as much time all together as we can before we go our separate ways. Lydia has her hand on my leg the whole night while I have my arm draped over her chair playing with a strand of her hair. The awkwardness that was happening when she arrived is gone and we are enjoying our night.

When we leave the restaurant I hug my maman tightly because I won't be seeing her for awhile and I can't help but smile when I see Lydia and her hug tightly too and share a sweet moment as they say goodbye. Lorenzo and Charlotte are taking her back to the hotel and then to the airport so we say goodbye to them as well. Everyone else heads back to the airbnb in Jeremy's car and that leaves Lydia and me climbing into my car.

"I have to confess that I thought about leaving tonight." Lydia tells me right as I climb into the drivers seat. I guess we're starting this conversation now. Setting the keys down in the center console I turn to look at her. Worry is written all over her face and I realize she's scared about how I'll respond.

"I know. And I'm so sorry I made you feel like you had to. I need you to know I was never angry at you for considering your parents proposal. I get why you would but I don't want you to have to worry about them ever bothering you again and I think even if you were to give them everything they would still insert themselves into yours and Ezra's lives." I explain to her and she furrows her brows in confusion.

"Your dad was looking at me like I was just dollar signs in his eyes and I fear that when Ezra makes it into Formula 1 that they'll latch themselves onto him. I had to think of a way to make sure they would go away and stay away and that's why I left so quickly this evening. I'm sorry, I should have told you my plan but I didn't want you to have to deal with it anymore." I tell her.

"What do you mean your plan?" She asks me and I grab her hands in mine.

"Well my original plan was to show your mother the letter your grandmother sent, to show her that her biological father wasn't the father that raised her. I had a feeling she wouldn't appreciate if I released that information and would care more about her reputation than money. I also decided to reach out to the PI to see if he found out any additional information on them."

"Did he? Find information?" She asks and I nod.

"Apparently your father has been having an affair with his partners daughter who is only 18 and it's questionable when the affair started. On top of that your parents have been spending a lot of money that they don't actually have and are in major debt. Apparently your fathers family cut him off years ago because of his reckless spending and your parents have been living off his salary and your grandmothers money but now that she is dead they won't have that and are desperate. Hence why they are going after you and Ezra. They were depending on that inheritance so they could pay off their debts." I explain and I watch as her mouth drops open in shock.

"I'm having our lawyers draw up a contract that states they cannot reach out to you, Ezra, me or any future children we have and they need to drop their advances on trying to get Ezra's inheritance and in exchange I won't release the information about your fathers infidelity and their money issues. I'm hoping that the risk of losing the only form of income they currently have and also their reputations will get them to sign the contract." As I tell her this I watch her face carefully to see how she's feeling about it all but she's sitting there very stoic.

"And what if they don't agree?" She asks which makes me roll my eyes. Because she can't she serious?

"If they don't, then I'll be telling your fathers partner about the affair with his daughter and I'll also have the PI continue to dig into their current and past dealings. I'm sure there is a lot more that they are..." I respond but before I can get the last word out she's kissing me.

"Thank you." She whispers when she pulls away after a minute and leans her forehead against mine. I shut my eyes at hearing those words. So relieved that she's not upset with me for doing all of this without her. Maybe she's finally realizing it's okay to let people help occasionally.

"Anything for you mon soleil. You know that." I whisper back as I kiss her once more before pulling back and grabbing the keys from the center console.

"Now let's stop talking about your parents and go back to airbnb." I tell her as I start the car.

"It's been an eventful day and I'm ready to just lay in bed with you in my arms for the rest of the night." I add as I pull out of the parking lot.

"Sounds perfect. How does your body feel from the race? Sore? I can give you a massage when we get back too if you want. I want to make sure you're feeling good." She tells me and my heart warms in my chest at her concern for my health.

It is extremely important, especially not as we are getting to the end of the season. After todays win, I'm in the lead for the championship with Max following closely behind. So everything from now until Abu Dubai is very important.

"I'm the normal amount of sore. You don't have to worry about it though baby." I tell her as I grab her hand into mine and bring it up to my mouth to kiss it.

"I want to worry about it though. Let me take care of you just how you take care of me." She says with so much love that I have to clear my throat before responding otherwise I would be having a tough time responding.

"Okay, sounds good then." I tell her and for the rest of the car ride we talk about Jeremy and Morgan. Lydia is telling me that Jeremy is waiting to talk to Morgan when they get to San Diego and I frown.

"'Morgan is traveling with me for the rest of the season. She's not really going back to San Diego. At least not for more than a couple of days." I tell Lydia her gaze flashes to mine. She didn't know.

"Morgan said she was going to tell you." I add quickly so she doesn't get angry with me for keeping it from her.

"But what about all of her stuff at Tylers? She needs to move out." She says with furrowed brows.

"I paid for a team to go in this week to remove her things and put them in a storage unit. She is already moved out of his house." I tell her carefully, worried she's going to be angry with me.

"Well f*ck. So she's leaving with you tomorrow?" She asks and I nod.

"Is she coming to San Diego after Brazil then?"

"Yes. I'm coming with her and Lando was talking about also coming with us so he could spend more time with Bianca. They seem to be getting very close." I tell her and she smiles to herself.

"They are so cute. I knew that they would make a great couple. I'm excited to see where it goes." She says giddily and I can't help but agree. Lando and Bianca are very cute together much to Jeremy's dismay.

Once we get to the airbnb Lydia leads me into our bedroom and shuts and locks the door. I watch as she walks into the bathroom and I hear water running like she's drawing a bath. She's in there for a few minutes while I start getting undressed. Eventually I hear the water turn off and a moment later I see her coming out of the bathroom typing on her phone.

"I've drawn a bath for you. Take your clothes off and get in it please." She says while still looking at her phone. I can't help but smile at her bossiness.

"Only if you join me." I tell her and she narrows her eyes at me but a moment later she's stripping from her clothes. I watch the whole thing until she's naked before me. I bite my lip as she turns around and heads to the bathroom, and follow after her like a puppy.
When I see the bath it's filled with bubbles and it smells like lavender.

"You first and I'll climb in after and lay between your legs." She says and I nod my approval and climb into the water. I groan as the heat hits my skin, it feels amazing. Then I'm groaning for a whole other reason as I feel Lydia's ass graze my co*ck as she sits down. I immediately start growing hard and I hear her chuckle lightly to herself. She wiggles against me and I know what she's doing. Well two can play that game.

Without warning I move one hand to her breast and pinch her nipple, just as I wrap one hand around her hip and find her cl*t and flick my finger against it over and over. The moan she makes is so erotic and I want to hear it again. So I keep teasing her, playing with her until she's falling apart in my hands.

A few minutes later we are climbing out of the bathtub and Lydia takes her time drying me and herself off before leading me to the bed. My co*ck is rock hard as she lays me on my back on the bed. I don't say a word as she climbs on top of me, straddling me so my dick is between us and then proceeds to massage my shoulders, arms, chest, and legs. I'm dying as her hands get closer and closer to my co*ck. My eyes are hooded and I'm so f*cking worked up that I'm pretty sure the second she touches me I'll cum.

After a few more minutes of teasing me, she smiles at me wickedly before bending down and putting my co*ck deep into her mouth, taking in as much as she can before I hit the back of her throat. f*ck it feels good. My breathing picks up as she starts moving her tongue against the shaft and gently running her teeth along the top of my co*ck. Her hands are on my pecs, her nails gently scraping along them and playing with my nipples as she passes. That's all it takes for me to be exploding into her mouth.

I cum so hard that I see stars. Eventually I have to force her off my co*ck when it becomes to much, grabbing her by the arms and lifting her towards me so I can kiss her.

"Are you feeling relaxed now mon amour?" She whispers when I finally pull my mouth from hers.

"The most relaxed I've ever been." I tell her with a dopey smile and she shakes her head at me thinking I'm lying but I'm not. My eyes are beginning to shut as she plays with my hair and I know I'm not going to be awake much longer.

"I love you mon soleil. Goodnight." I tell her and then I close my eyes and fall asleep.

Chapter 57: Habits

Chapter Text

Lydia's POV

When I wake up the following morning, Charles is not laying beside me. I can hear the shower running so I climb out of bed and go in search of him. As I walk into the bathroom, I can see him standing in the shower washing his body. He's so beautiful that I stop and stare at him for a moment, before climbing in with him. I wrap my hands around him and drag my hands up his chest.

"Good morning." I mumble as I kiss in between his shoulder blades which makes him shiver in my arms. He turns then so he's now facing me and bends down to give me a kiss making my stomach dip especially as I feel his co*ck hardening between us. I moan into his mouth and he deepens the kiss, walking us towards the wall of the shower and pressing me against it. Since it's our last morning together for a few weeks, we spend the next twenty minutes getting lost in each other, and by the time we are climbing out the shower we both have happy, sated smiles on our faces.

"I'm going to miss you so much." I tell him as we're getting dressed. Jeremy, Bianca, Ezra and I are heading back to San Diego, while everyone else is headed to Mexico for the next GP followed by Brazil. So we won't be seeing each other for awhile and after the past almost two weeks of being together I'm going to miss him a lot.

"You know you could come with me." He says as he looks over at me after putting on his tee shirt.

"I can't. Jeremy and I still have a lot to do before our move. I need to be in San Diego. Plus, I promised Ezra that we would visit San Fransisco, since neither of us have been. He also wants to go to Disneyland." I tell him and he frowns but nods.

"I'm sorry." I tell him as I bend down to sit on the floor so I can start packing my suitcase.

"Don't be. We'll both be busy and the time apart will go quick. Besides once Brazil is over we won't be apart. You're still planning on coming to Abu Dhabi, right?" He asks me and I smile. We talked about whether or not I'd be coming to the last race a few days ago and there's no way I was going to miss it, especially since it looks like Charles is going to win the championship. Him and Max are fighting for it, but with the rate that Charles is going, he's going to come out on top. And even if he doesn't win I want to be there for him.

"Yes, I am. There's no way I'll miss you winning your Championship, LP." I tell him and his answering smile, with his dimples on full display makes my stomach dip.

Charles' phone starts ringing on the bed interrupting our conversation and as he goes to answer it, I go back to my packing. He's speaking in rapid fire French so I don't understand a lot of what he's saying since it's too fast for me. Whoever he's talking to keeps him on the phone for a good ten minutes, I can't tell by Charles' facial expressions or tone what the phone call might be about. He's still on the phone when I walk into the bathroom to pack up my toiletries. As I'm collecting all of my makeup from the counter, I see him come stand behind me through the mirror.

"Your parents signed the contract." He tells me, and then he smiles not being able to hold back his happiness. My mouth drops open in surprise.

"Already? When did they even get the contract? It's not even 10am on a Monday. How have they already agreed? I figured it would take them a couple of days to decide." I tell him because I never expected it to happen this fast.

"They got it around 8am this morning. I guess the lawyers caught them right before your father went to work. They said as they were explaining everything to them your mother was turning red with anger and your father was looking white as a sheet. By the time they finished and offered the contract to them, your father immediately signed it. Your mother was livid but your father I guess convinced her to sign it. The lawyer told me they overheard them talking about someone named Spencer Kensington and how we couldn't find out what they did and have it go public. After that they came into the room and she signed it. Do you know who that is?" Charles asks and my stomach drops.

"That's Ezra's father." I tell him with furrowed brows and Charles frowns. My mind goes crazy trying to figure out what they could have possibly done and what they wouldn't want us to figure out. I have to sit down on the toilet seat for a second because I'm just so confused.

"I'll have the PI dig into it." He tells me and I nod absentmindedly. Charles hesitates for a moment before he bends down and gives my head a kiss and then he leaves the bathroom and I can hear him on the phone a moment later, I'm assuming with the PI.

Realizing I'm stressing over something that happened almost 16 years ago and to someone I don't actually care about anymore, I stand up and finish gathering my toiletries. By the time I'm leaving the bathroom I've pushed thoughts of him out of my mind. He's not important right now. Spending time with Charles before he leaves is what's important. He's packing his suitcase that he's now moved onto the bed. I throw my toiletry bag in my suitcase and then walk towards Charles.

"I'm sorry. Let's just forget about everything that's happened with my parents because it's over now. Thank you for everything you did to stop them, LP. I don't know how to thank you, I love you so much." I tell him as I wrap my arms around him. He relaxes into my arms and I immediately feel guilty again for causing him this stress.

"I love you too mon soleil. I'm happy to help and I'm glad that it all worked out like I hoped. Now you should be able to move on from everything and never have to worry about them again." He tells me as he rotates to face me, and grabs my face in his so he can look deep in my eyes. My stomach dips as I realize this amazing man is mine forever if I want him. And I want him.

"I can't wait to spend of the rest of my life with you." I tell him as I watch as his eyes soften and he smiles broadly, with his dimples out on fully display. One of his hands wraps into my hair and yanks me towards him and he proceeds to kiss me until I'm thoroughly turned on. So is he by the feel of him. I'm ready to attack him when there's a knock on our door. Charles groans and I can't help but laugh as I walk to the door and open it to find Ezra.

"Are you guys going to tell me what happened yesterday? First you two didn't show up at the dinner together, and then you were acting weird. Are you breaking up again?" He rushes out and I frown. Charles comes to stand beside me and his brows are furrowed in confusion.

"Ez, no we are not breaking up." I tell him, as I grab his hand and pull him into our room, shutting the door behind him. He goes to sit on the bed and Charles and I face him. He looks less stressed now that I said that but he still looks worried.

"Then what's going on? I can tell something is different between you two." He says and Charles sighs.

"There was tension yesterday because we lacked some communication in regards to your grandparents. A lot happened after the race but we are good now." Charles tells Ezra but I can tell that confuses Ezra even more. I go to sit beside him on the bed and grab his hand.

"Your grandparents were waiting to accost us when we were leaving the track yesterday after the race even though I had asked them to leave earlier. Charles hadn't known that I had seen them earlier in the day but figured it out and he asked me what they wanted. When I told him, he got angry because I was considering their offer." I tell Ezra who shoots up off the bed and glares at me.

"You were considering giving those people your inheritance?! What the f*ck, Mama?!" He yells and I stare at him with wide eyes. I wasn't expecting him to be so angry. Charles grabs his shoulder and forces him to sit back down on the bed and gives him a pointed look and tells him to wait until I'm done explaining before he gets worked up. I give Charles a thankful smile as I continue.

"I thought Charles was angry with me because he didn't speak to me after that and when we got back here to get ready for dinner he left without me with no explanation. I got inside of my head and was going to leave Austin, go back to San Diego, but then I realized I was being stupid. When I got to the restaurant things between us were strange because I thought he was still angry with me and he knew I thought about leaving because Morgan had suspected it and told him." I look down at my hands in my lap, ashamed that I even thought about leaving. Charles comes to sit down next to me on the bed and wraps an arm around my waist and squeezes.

"What actually was happening was that I was coming up with a plan on how to get your grandparents to stop and leave you two alone. The car ride back here I was forming my plan and I was so desperate to make it happen that I got dressed as fast as I could so I could leave and didn't think to inform your mom about the plan because I didn't want her to be stressed." Charles tells Ezra who now just looks confused.

"So what was the plan?" He asks.

"Charles wanted to blackmail them." I say with a laugh and Charles pretends to look affronted.

"Not blackmail. I just wanted to scare them with information that my PI had found. Use it to make them stop because if they didn't I would release the information to the public." Charles says like it's so simple. It makes me laugh.

"What kind of information?" Ezra asks with intrigue.

"We can't tell you, but it's bad enough for them to agree to the contract our lawyers gave them. They won't be trying to take your inheritance or bother us anymore. If they do then the information we have gathered and will continue to gather will be released." I tell him and I watch as his mouth drops open in shock.

"So it actually worked?" He exclaims with a laugh which makes Charles and I laugh as well.

"Yes, it actually worked and extremely quickly too. I guess their reputation is more important than money which is shocking yet not at the same time. But yeah, that's why we were acting weird yesterday. But we are good, I promise." I say as I pull Ezra into a tight hug.

"Yep, I was just about to ask your mom to marry me actually." Charles says and I pull away from Ezra so fast and whip my head towards Charles with wide eyes because what?

"WHAT?!" I shout which makes Charles fall over onto the bed laughing. All I can do is stare at him while Ezra stands up from the bed and walks towards the door mumbling under his breath how weird we are before shutting the door behind him.

"I wasn't actually about to ask you baby. Although, I was thinking it." Charles says as he sits back up with a smile. I stand up from the bed and walk to my suitcase and sit down in front of it to continue packing.

"I would have said yes if you did ask." I tell him as I start rearranging my clothes to make more room. My back is to Charles so I don't know how he responds to my confession but I can only hope that it was good. It's crazy to say that I would say yes to him if he asked. We have only been with each other for about five months and a month of that we weren't technically together, although in my heart we were.

I can't help how I feel though. From the first day we met there was a pull between us. Something that I didn't understand, and still don't quite understand. But things between us feel right and I don't want to run away from that feeling. I want it to last forever. And I know that Charles feels the same.

"Good to know." He says a moment later and I can't help the smile that comes over my face and the butterflies that take flight in my stomach at his comment.Good to know.

An hour later we are spending some last minute time all together. Jeremy and Morgan seem to be doing better now much to my relief. Morgan is sitting on his lap on the sofa chair and he looks happier than I've ever seen him. Lando and Bianca are sitting on the floor leaning against the couch. Bianca is sitting in between his legs and Lando keeps whispering things into her ear that are making her giggle. I can't help but smile as I watch them from the couch where I'm cuddled into Charles arms. Max and Kelly are also on the couch with us cuddled up and Arthur and Ezra are laying on the floor. We are watching The Princess Bride although I'm pretty sure Ezra and Arthur are the only ones paying any attention to it.

Once the movie is over, it's time to gather all of our luggage and head to the airport. Luckily we are all going to the same airport even though Jeremy, Bianca, Ezra and I are the only ones flying commercial. Everyone else is flying private which is in a different area of the airport, but at least we'll have at least a few minutes together as we drive to the airport.

Getting all of our luggage into the cars is a mission but we accomplish it. Once we do a once over of the airbnb we head to the airport. Charles is driving me, Ezra and Arthur while Jeremy is driving Morgan and Bianca and Lando. Max and Kelly are in the last car and then we're off. Charles holds my hand the whole drive to the airport. I try not to get sad about leaving each other, but it's hard not to.

My eyes fill with tears a few times thinking about being away from him, and I know he notices because when I try to hide them by looking at the window he squeezes my hand every time. I'm more than just sad though. I'm nervous. Are things going to be okay? Will we be okay? Whenever we were apart at the beginning of our relationship Charles always pulled away. How do I know he won't now?

"Stop." I hear him say, shaking me from my thoughts. I look towards him to see he's staring at me like he knows what I was thinking and he probably does.

"What?" I ask innocently and he looks at me pointedly.

"I know what you're thinking and you need to stop mon soleil. Do you trust me?" He asks and I don't hesitate in my response.

"Yes." And I do. After everything that happened and all he's done, I do trust him.

"Then trust me." He tells me as he looks back towards the road and I can't help but stare at him. I don't respond because I'm not sure what to say so I don't, I just lean across the center console and kiss along his jaw.

Ten minutes later we are pulling up to the airport. Charles is dropping Ezra and I off at the main drop off for the airport, then proceeding to where the private airplanes are. Jeremy pulls up behind us a moment later as we're unloading our luggage. Charles puts my luggage on the sidewalk and then grabs my hips, pulling us so we're flush. Tears fill my eyes as I look at him.

"Please don't cry. If you do I won't be able to leave you." He whispers, and I notice his own eyes getting misty. I blink a few times trying to will them away or at least slow their arrival until after he leaves. It's stupid to cry when I'm going to see him in a few weeks but I can't help it.

"I'm going to miss you so much mon soleil." He says as he leans forward and kisses me softly. I wrap my arms around him and hold him tightly as I kiss him back.

"I'm going to miss you too, LP. You should go so you don't get in trouble for idling for too long. I love you." I tell him as we pull away from each other. He frowns but nods. He grabs my hand as he starts walking back towards the drivers seat.

"I love you too. See you in a few weeks." He tells me as our arms are outstretched barely holding onto one another's hand now. I smile but don't say anything because I will start crying if I try to talk. He's about to climb into the drivers seat when I grab his shoulder and spin him towards me and I kiss him one more time before we leave each other. He leans his forehead on mine when our lips separate and he takes a deep breath and rubs his nose along mine.

"You need to go or I'm going to take you with me." He tells me which makes me giggle. With one last peck to his lips, I pull away from him and head back to the sidewalk where Ezra, Jeremy and Bianca are waiting for me.

Chapter 58: Need Your Love

Chapter Text

Charles POV

When I left Lydia at the airport in Austin, it felt like I left a part of me with her. The next couple of weeks after Austin, I missed her more than ever before. We talked whenever either of us had a free second which wasn't much since we were both extremely busy.

I ended up doing well in both the Mexico and Brazil GP's, getting P2 and P3. Even without her there in person, just knowing she's watching at home makes me do better. But there's nothing quite like when she's watching the race in the Ferrari garage. That's where she was for the Vegas GP where I ended in P1, and it's where she is now.

We're at the Abu Dhabi GP, the final race. The determining factor of who is going to be world championship. Max and I are neck and neck in points and it all comes down to who wins today. I'm sitting in my car on the track waiting for the formation lap. I'll be starting out at P2, not being able to out qualify Max yesterday. I'm full of nerves, though I'm not sure why.

"Xavi, I need Lydia." I say in the radio, knowing that I still have time to talk to her before they start kicking people off the track.

"Charles we don't have..." Xavi says but I cut him off.

"Lydia. Now." I demand and he gives me a mumbled 'copy'. A minute later I see her walking towards me and all of my nerves vanish. She's so beautiful and I'm constantly overwhelmed with how much I love her. When she approaches my car she bends down so she can look into my eyes. Hers are deep pools of endless love when she looks at me but right now they are also filled with worry.

"What's wrong LP?" She asks as she places her hand in mine and gives it a squeeze.

"I was feeling nervous but I'm good now. Just seeing you has made me feel better. I love you." I tell her and she smiles broadly at me before leaning forward and kissing my helmet.

"I love you too. You're going to be amazing mon amour. Can't wait to celebrate with you tonight after you win the championship." She whispers and winks. I smile at her and my stomach dips at her insinuation.

"Okay I have to go, everyone is starting to clear out. I love you, I'll see you at the finish line." She tells me as she blows a kiss and walks away. With a smile on my face I get more settled into my seat and mentally prepare to win this race.

"LET'S GIVE IT UP TO OUR NEWEST WORLD CHAMPION, CHARLES LECLERC!" the announcer yells out as I walk onto the podium stage. The crowd is so deafening that it's hard to hear. I'm smiling so wide that my cheeks are starting to ache, I am just so happy.

As the Monagasque National anthem plays, I find Lydia in the crowd smiling up at me with tears in her eyes. She's radiant and I can't believe we've made it to this point. After everything we've been through it feels good to be in such a wonderful place.

After the anthems are done, the trophies are distributed and then the fun begins. Me, Max and Fernando go crazy spraying our champagne. Since it's the last race of the year we might as well go all out. Lydia is glaring at me as I look down at her with a smirk because she knows what's coming. The next moment I spray the champagne right at her and she's laughing along with my team. Everyone is just bursting with happiness.

Once the champagne has all been sprayed, I do what feels like hours of media interviews before I'm finally able to make it to my drivers room so I can change. I find Lydia there, stepping out of my shower and I frown.

"Damn I was hoping you'd wait for me." I tell her as I pull her against me. She wraps her arms around me even though I'm soaked with champagne and she's clean and kisses me deeply. I moan into her mouth as her towel drops to the floor and I can feel her smooth naked skin in my hands.

"Whoops, looks like I'm dirty again." She whispers when we pull away from one another and I laugh. Lydia helps me remove my race suit, fireproofs and shoes and then we climb into the shower. Even with it being the worlds smallest shower, I'm still able to bend her over and get us both off in a matter of minutes.

"My world champion, congratulations on having all of your dreams come true." She tells me once we're dressed and getting ready to head back to our hotel before the after party tonight.

"Not all of my dreams have come true yet, Mrs. Leclerc." I tell her with a smile.

"God, I love when you call me that." She says wistfully and I can't help but agree, it's now my favorite thing to call her but I can only say it when it's just us or our families. No one else knows that we eloped in Las Vegas last weekend.

One Week Ago

It'sThursdaynight and we are in Vegas. We decided to go out to one of the clubs in town but now we are back in our hotel room soaking in the bathtub together.

"We should get married." Lydia says with a giggle and I know she's drunk because there's no way she's serious even if I wish she was. I laugh off her words as I continue massaging her shoulders.

She leans forward then and twists so she's facing me and wraps her arms around my neck as she looks at me with those gorgeous eyes of hers.

"I'm serious. I know it's crazy and we've only been together for a short amount of time but I love you. You're the one I want forever, I've known that since our first date. And I don't want to waste anymore time." She told me and I stared at her speechless, not knowing what to say to her proposal.

"Ugh just kidding, I know it was a crazy idea, let's just forget I said anything." She says when I still haven't responded and she tries to twist away from me but I won't let her, bringing her towards me and kissing her deeply. When I finally pull away we're breathing hard and I'm aching to be inside of her.

"Let's get married." I tell her as I rock against her opening. She gasps as I rub against her when finally she can't take anymore and guides me inside of her making us both moan.

"Annabelle Lydia Kincaid, mon soleil, baby. I love you more than anything in the world and I want nothing more than to be your husband and you my wife. Marry me. Be Mrs. Leclerc." I tell her as I f*ck her slowly.

"God yes. Yes, I'll marry you. f*ck, hearing you say Mrs. Leclerc is such a turn on for some reason." She says as she throws her head back in pleasure as I press myself deeper inside of her.

"Mrs. Leclerc, are you getting close? Because I'm not going to last much longer." I growl against her neck as I kiss and lick all the way down to the tops of her breasts. She leans back further, shoving her nipples into my face and I know what she wants. I latch onto one and suck while teasing it with my tongue. With one more thrust she's coming around me and I'm following not far behind. Her release triggering mine and we're both moaning as we come apart.

We end up getting married after the race on Sunday. We snuck off with Ezra, Arthur, and Lorenzo since they were the only ones invited. I wish my maman could have been there but she was in Monaco. Lorenzo FaceTimed her during the ceremony though so she was technically there. We promised her that we would have a bigger wedding eventually when we decide to tell the world we're actually married. We want to keep it a surprise. Partially because we don't want to deal with the media and how they'll make things crazy and partially because it's special to have something our families only know about.

The ceremony was how you would expect a Las Vegas wedding to be but we didn't care. The important thing is that we're married, that she is my wife. We are both smiling ear to ear when we meet back up with everyone for the after party. Everyone luckily didn't suspect anything since I got P1 so they assume we are happy because of that. No one even questioned that Lydia was wearing a white dress and I was in a suit.

"Back to your dreams though. What hasn't come true yet?" She asks with a confused look as I shake away the memory of last weekend.

"Hmm well I wouldn't mind starting a family." I tell her honestly because at this point why not tell her? She's my wife after all. That is still so crazy to think about.

"I wouldn't mind starting a family either, but I want to wait until I'm settled in Austria." She tells me as she leans forward and kisses my jaw making me shiver. Not only because her lips are on me but because of what she just agreed to. Butterflies fill my stomach at the idea of her pregnant, it's something I want so badly. My lips find hers then and I kiss her hard, showing her exactly how happy she just made me.

By the time I move my mouth from hers we're both breathing hard. She has her eyes closed and she has a dreamy expression on her face and it makes me smile as I bend to give her another kiss. I don't linger though because if we continue this we won't ever leave.

"Come on. I'm sure everyone is wondering where we are." I tell her as I grab her hand in mine and exit my drivers room. We walk out into the garage where all of Ferrari and our friends and family are waiting to congratulate me.

It takes awhile to get through everyone and by the time I find Lydia with my family and Ezra I'm ready to leave the paddock. When I approach the group they are talking about going out to dinner and then an after party where all of the drivers will be. All I really want to do is go back to the hotel with Lydia and stay there for the rest of the night but I know I can't.

We decide to go back to the hotel before dinner so we can change and get ready. I'm just finishing putting on my shoes when Lydia walks out of bathroom wearing the same dress she wore on our first date. Instead of cowboy boots though, she's wearing black stiletto heels that tie around her ankles. My breath catches as I take her in from her toes to the top of her head. I stand up from the bed and make my way over to her.

"You look stunning. I love this dress, brings back memories of our first date." I tell her as I grab her hips and kiss along her neck. She gasps when I lick along her collarbone and I can't help but do it again just to hear her one more time.

"You need to stop LP. We have to meet everyone in the lobby in 5 minutes." She whispers but she doesn't step away from me, instead she tangles a hand into my hair and keeps my mouth against her neck. I smile against her and move my hands to her ass and bring her flush against me so she can feel my hardness. She moans as she yanks on my hair preventing me from kissing her anymore. I look at her with dazed eyes and see she's staring at me the same way. We really need to head downstairs before we can't. She lets go of my hair then and takes a step away from me. I let her go even though I don't want to.

"Alright Mr. Leclerc, let's get out of this room." She says with a sigh and goes to grab her bag and phone that are laying on the bed.

A moment later we are standing in the elevator with a group of people who congratulate me on my accomplishment and we partake in small talk as we descend to the lobby. Our family is waiting for us near the exit and it only takes us a few minutes to get a car to drive us to the restaurant that Lydia picked out for us to eat at. It's in one of the large skyscraper towers that overlooks all of Abu Dhabi.

We have an amazing time celebrating while eating a ton of delicious food and drinking a lot of alcohol. Unfortunately or maybe fortunately, Ezra can't drink so he's been in charge of keeping us in line and I know he's having a fun time laughing at us, especially his mom who is at the stage where she's snorting while she laughs. It's adorable and I can't help but smile every time she does it.

Eventually we make our way out of the restaurant where a car takes us back to our hotel where the after party is. It's in one of the night clubs they have in the hotel that runs along the beach. When we arrive the crowd immediately cheers when they see me. It's a bit overwhelming but I'm tipsy after dinner so the feeling subsides after a moment. It also helps that I have Lydia's hand in mine.

For what feels like hours, I go around the party talking to the drivers, fans, team personnel and team principals about the race and my world championship win. I lose Lydia at some point when she told me she had to go to the bathroom. I end up finding her on the dance floor with Kelly, Morgan, Kika, Carmen, Heidi and Lily. She looks so happy and I can't help but sit and stare at her for a few moments.

"So when are you going to ask her to marry you mate?" Max asks as he drapes an arm around my shoulder and leans into me. He's drunk and has a goofy smile on his face and I can't help but laugh. I try to decide how to answer his question since he doesn't know we're already married.

"I'm currently getting an engagement ring made actually. I've been emailing with a jeweler in Monaco for a few weeks now and they are outsourcing the diamonds as we speak." I answer which isn't a lie. As soon as I left Austin I reached out to my favorite jeweler in Monaco and we've emailing back and forth about specifics I want. Max turns to look at me with a shocked face.

"Did you say diamonds? As in plural?" He asks and I laugh as I nod my head. He shakes his head like he can't understand.

"When are you going to propose to Kelly?" I ask as I notice him looking at her.

"I don't know mate. I'm content with how things are between us right now. But I'm sure once you get a ring on Lydia's finger Kelly will be wondering what our plans are." He replies and turns his face back to mine and rolls his eyes.

"It's the normal next step Max. You've been dating for a few years now, I'm sure she's already wondering." I tell him and he nods but neither of us saying anything more because Lydia has now noticed us and is pointing her finger towards me, beckoning me to her. The next moment I have her in my arms and we're dancing to Need Your Love by Gryffin and Seven Lions featuring Noah Kahan. As the song goes on we get closer and closer until our lips finally touch and then everything else fades away. It's just me and her. I can't help but think about how lucky I am to have her, to have found her. I cant help but think that maybe my Papa and Jules had something to do with it.

They would be so proud to see me now. Having just won a championship with Ferrari was one of our biggest dreams and it's now a reality but I think they would be more happy to know how happy I am. How content I am with my life. I have an amazing job, amazing family and friends but most importantly I have an amazing wife who will hopefully one day soon give me an amazing child of my own.

It only takes until the end of the song until I'm dragging Lydia out of the club and back to our hotel room. All of our friends and family laugh when they see my expression as we leave and they catcall us on our way out the door. Lydia blows them all kisses while I flip them off. I've had enough partying and I need to be alone with her for the rest of the night. They can all just f*ck off.

The moment we're in the elevator and I know no one is in there with us, I'm pushing her against the wall and my mouth is on hers. She moans as she wraps one of her legs around mine, making her dress slide up higher onto her thigh. I'm so desperate for her, and I need to feel her so I slip a hand between us discreetly only to find out she's not wearing any underwear and she's soaking wet. My dick gets rock hard the second my fingers run along her wet folds and she moans desperately into my mouth. I'm about to insert my finger when the elevator dings that we've made it to our floor.

Moving her leg gently back to the ground, I grab her hand and lead us quickly to our room. It only takes me a second to open our door and tug us inside where I proceed to push Lydia against the door, picking up where we left off in the elevator. This time though I bend to my knees in front of her and hike one of her legs over my shoulder. Before she can take her next breath, my mouth is on her and she's moaning my name like it's a prayer. I have to unbutton my pants to free my aching co*ck. I'm so turned on by how wet she is for me and the noises she's making. I love when she's like this. Carefree and sexy and letting it known how good I'm making her feel.

It only takes a few licks and sucks until she's coming all over my face. It's so f*cking sexy and I am aching to be inside of her. When she settles from her org*sm I stand up and direct her to the bed. She sits down and starts bending to take her shoes off but I stop her.

"No, leave them on. I want to f*ck you in nothing but those shoes. You looked so f*cking sexy tonight baby. Now let's see if you were naughty and decided to forego a bra too." I tell her as I stand her back up on her feet and peel her dress over her head. When it's discarded on the ground beside us, I find Lydia standing in front of me completely naked except for the shoes.

"Naughty girl." I whisper as I pinch her nipples between my fingers. She moans and her eyes roll back into her head as I play with her hard buds. I bet I could get her to come just by playing with her nipples. I lay her on the bed and do just that. It only takes a few minutes until she's coming again. While she's still org*sming I grab my co*ck and enter her. It's overwhelming because she's squeezing me so tightly. It feels like heaven and I never want it to end. Her legs wrap around me tightly as she keeps coming on my co*ck and I start pounding into her, not being able to hold back any longer. It only takes a few minutes until I'm coming hard inside of her.

Once I come down slightly from my org*sm I roll to my back so I'm laying beside her in the bed. She immediately wraps her arm around me and frowns when she realizes I'm still wearing literally all of my clothes. We were so swept up in the moment that I am still fully dressed, while she is not. I smile at her and shrug my shoulders.

"I was too anxious to be inside of you. I couldn't wait long enough to take off my clothes." I tell her with a smirk and she rolls her eyes. The next thing I know she's standing up and she starts undressing me. Once I'm completely naked she smiles triumphantly and comes to lay back down beside me but not before taking off her own shoes. When she settles in beside me I grab the sheets and blanket to cover us and bring her into my arms. Her eyes are heavy with sleep and I just want her comfortable.

"Goodnight Mrs. Leclerc." I whisper and kiss the top of her head. Her arms wrapped around me squeeze me tight.

"Goodnight my world champion. I love you." She whispers back. My heart expands at her words and in this moment, things have never been better. They are better than anything I ever could have ever imagined.

Chapter 59: Here With Me

Chapter Text

Lydia's POV

Since Charles won the championship things have been absolutely amazing. Once we left Abu Dhabi, we headed to San Diego for Ezra's birthday and Christmas. Arthur, Lorenzo and Pascale joined us there and we spent most of December together as a family before heading to Monaco for New Years. It was amazing bringing in the new year with Charles and finally being back in Europe for good.

Jeremy, Morgan and Bianca also came to Monaco for New Years as well where it seems like a lot of drama went down with Lando and Bianca. I still don't know what happened between the two of them. They had been inseparable since Austin, constantly talking on the phone, FaceTiming, Bianca even went to the Las Vegas GP as his date and he even visited her in December and they went on a little weekend trip Allen together to the desert. As far as I know they haven't talked since New Years and Bianca made us all swear not to tell Lando that she's now living in London going to school.

As for Morgan and Jeremy, they seem to be doing amazing. Morgan is planning on spending half of her time in Austria with him and half of the time in Maranello. Meanwhile I've been mainly based in Austria and Monaco. Charles and I decided to invest in a house in Austria near one of the ski resorts that's not too far from Salzburg. Although we are currently in Monaco we've been spending some time there this winter and I'll be living there a majority of the time once Charles' season starts again instead of Monaco. Ezra has been splitting his time between Monaco and Maranello during his off season before his Formula 3 season starts in a few weeks.

Luckily my parents haven't broken their contract. Last I heard was that my father ended up getting caught with his partners daughter so he had to resign and due to that my mother is divorcing him. I guess that prompted my dad to expose her affair that she was having for years with Ezra's dads father. Which leads to what my parents did to Spencer and why my mother didn't want anyone to find out. Charles PI was able to find out what they did to him relatively quickly. I guess my parents paid him to stay away from me. He was willing to support me in my pregnancy and apparently he even offered to marry me because he loved me and wanted us to be a family.

When my mother realized that us being linked in that way would cause problems in her relationship with Spencer's father she offered Spencer money to end things with me and never talk to me or Ezra. I'm not sure why Spencer agreed, nor do I care but it's interesting to know that he never wanted out, that he was willing to be there for me before my mother intervened. Not that it matters anymore for me, but it does change things for Ez.

After Charles and I told Ezra this we gave him the option to meet his dad. He only a few weeks ago decided that he wanted to reach out and they've been talking on the phone every few days to get to know each other. I'm not sure what will come of it, but I'm glad that maybe they both can gain some kind of relationship from this information coming to light.

"What are you thinking about mon soleil?" Charles asks me shaking me from my thoughts. I've been sitting on the couch in the living room, while Charles has been playing the piano. It's our last day together before Charles leaves for the first race in Bahrain. I turn to face him as he starts to play something I've never heard before.

"Nothing important. What are you playing? It's beautiful." I ask as I lean my head down on top of the couch ledge and stare at him playing, admiring how his hands move across the keys so fluidly. He turns to look at me then with a soft smile, his dimples on full display and I get butterflies. It amazes me that I still get butterflies when he looks at me that way.

"Just something I've been working on." He tells me with a smirk as he continues playing and I can't help but wonder what he's scheming.

"I was thinking we could get "married" in November around our anniversary. There's a few weeks break then and in a way it could be sort of like a vowel renewal." He says after a few moments and I smile, liking the idea of that. He looks at me once more as he finishes the song and I watch as he gets up from the piano bench and makes his way over to where I'm sitting. Instead of sitting down beside me like I expected, I watch as he drops down to one knee in front of me and my stomach fills with butterflies as I realize what he's doing. He grabs my hands and brings them to his as he stares into my eyes with so much love it makes my heart beat faster.

"Mon soleil, I know we're already married but I think you deserve a real proposal, not one that was in a bathtub. So, Lydia Kincaid...from the moment I saw you standing outside of that crappy bar in Italy I was entranced by you. It felt like my world shifted axis the first time you smiled at me. And of course I got nervous and acted like an ass making you run away from me. Luck was surprisingly on my side and brought you to me once again in Maranello. I'm so thankful that fate seemed to keep bringing us together no matter what stupid decisions I made along the way and I am so thankful for your patience and forgiveness while I was being an idiot. I finally got it right when I realized I couldn't be without you and I'm so blessed to be able to call you my wife already in private. But will you please say yes to being my fiancé in public? Because I love you and I'm ready for the world to know that you're mine forever." He tells me and I'm crying so much that I can barely see him through the tears.

Without another thought, I rush to hug him which causes us him to lose balance and we both fall to the floor beneath us. I don't even care, I'm too busy kissing my husband to care that we're now lying on the ground.

"Is that a yes mon soleil?" He asks with a chuckle as he tries to pull away from me but I don't let him. Instead I kiss him deeper, wrapping my hands into his hair as I move to straddle him. His hands wrap around me as I deepen our kiss and I feel them trailing up my back a few seconds later.

I moan when one of his hands reaches my hair and he tugs my head back so he can move away from my mouth and kiss along my neck. I can't take it anymore and I start working on removing our clothes. It's only a few moments later we're both naked and desperate.

He stares up at me with hooded eyes as I guide him inside of me. We both moan when he reaches the hilt and I bend down to kiss him before I start moving slowly, grinding against him wanting to savor this time with him. It doesn't take long before things turn wild and frenzied. We end up coming at the same time, our mouths swallowing each others moans as we fall over the edge together. With one last kiss, I climb off of Charles and move to lay beside him on the floor. He rolls to face me and rests his hand on my stomach, gently rubbing his thumb against my skin.

"It's crazy to think that we could have just made a baby." He tells me, causing butterflies to erupt under his hand just thinking about the possibility.

"I can't wait to find out." I whisper as I put my hand over his.

Chapter 60: Wildest Dreams

Chapter Text

Lydia's POV

It's officially summer break and we are heading to Portofino, Italy. It's so surreal to be spending another summer break with Charles especially after the year it's been. I'm thankful everyday that we finally figured our sh*t out because I can't imagine not being with him.

We are looking forward to the next three weeks of relaxation with our friends and family. Hopefully we can spend some quality time together with no interruptions and maybe...possibly...finally, make a baby. We've been actively trying since February and each month that we don't conceive is like a little stab to my heart. I've been praying that this month will be the month that it happens, even though it's probably wishful thinking on my part. But, I have been more tired lately and this morning my yogurt made me feel nauseous. Deep down though, I know I'm not and that just makes me sad.

"What's going on with you?" Morgan asks me as she gently hits my foot with hers from the seat across from me. There's a group of us flying in Charles' jet for the short flight to Italy. Morgan, Jeremy, Ezra, Arthur, Lorenzo, Charlotte and Pascale are flying with us. I pull my gaze away from the window and look toward her, schooling my features with a soft smile so she can't see the sadness that's enveloping me.

"Nothing." I reply with a laugh and Morgan's eyes narrow on mine. She knows I'm lying and I can tell she wants to bug me more about it, but we're interrupted by Pascale who comes to sit beside me. I involuntarily tense when she sits down. Things between us are much better now but there are still times where I feel like she doesn't like me.

She knows Charles and I are trying to have a baby because he accidentally let it slip a couple of months ago when we were having dinner at her house. I swear every time she looks at me now it's like she's secretly saying 'I told you so'. But instead of anger of not being able to give her son a child, I only see pity and that's 1000 times worse and makes me feel extremely stupid for thinking I would have no trouble conceiving.

"Are you ready for some sun?" She asks as she pats my hand that's resting in my lap and I smile, or I try to. It probably looks more like a grimace.

"I am! I think it will do me some good. You know what they say; sun, salt water and sand is good for the soul." I reply a bit too cheerily and I see Morgan narrow her eyes at me in my peripherals as Pascale smiles at me sweetly while squeezing my hand.

"Perhaps it will be good for your womb as well." She leans in and whispers so I can only hear and I feel like I'm going to lose my mind. I don't bother responding to her as I stand abruptly and excuse myself to go to the bathroom even though I have no use for it at the moment. As I walk towards the bathroom, I pass Charles, who is playing chess with Arthur. He's watching me carefully though and I know he just saw what happened. He tries to stop me by grabbing my arm as I walk passed him but I sidestep him, worried that if I stop to talk to him the tears I'm forcing myself to hold in with begin to fall.

When I reach the bathroom, I lock the door and take a deep breath to try to center myself. It takes me a couple of minutes to calm down enough to be able to go back out to the cabin and I feel like a complete idiot for getting upset in the first place. Pascale didn't mean any harm in what she said. I'm just overly sensitive about the situation due to what she's said about me in the past. As I open the door to rejoin the group, someone makes their way into the bathroom with me and I'm confused until I realize it's Charles. He looks annoyed and in turn that makes me annoyed.

"What are you doing, Charles?" I ask as he closes the door and locks it, leaving us standing only a foot apart due to the bathroom being so small.

"What did my maman say to you?" He demands and I sigh in frustration. Everytime his mother says something to upset me, even if she doesn't mean realize she's doing it, he gets defensive over her and I don't really want to deal with it right now when we're supposed to be happy that it's summer break.

"Nothing. It's not a big deal, LP." I whisper and shake my head. I really want him to drop it but I don't think he's going to based on the expression he's giving me so I tell him.

"We were talking about how the sun, salt water and sand will be good for the soul and then she whispered to me that maybe it will also be good for my womb..." I explain as I cringe thinking about it.

"It was stupid for me to get upset about it, it's not a big deal." I continue, making sure that he knows that I know I was overreacting. His eyes grow wide at my confession and then turn angry and I frown, worried that he's still going to be mad at me for how I reacted to his mother. He doesn't understand how her comments make me feel. I've tried to explain it to him, but men just don't get it.

"I'll go apologize to her right now for leaving the conversation so abruptly." I say as I try to move passed him to the door so I can do just that but he stops me.

"You will not be apologizing. If anyone is apologizing it's going to be my maman because she should not be making comments like that towards you anymore. I thought she understood me when I told her to not bring up having kids at all, but I guess I need to have another discussion with her." He says with frustration and I furrow my brows in confusion. He talked to his mother and told her to stop? When did that happen?

"I'm confused...I thought you said I was being dramatic about her comments. That I needed to just ignore her, since she's only just excited about having a grandchild and she doesn't mean anything by them." I say sadly, as tears form behind my eyes. I absolutely hate how emotional I am about this topic, but it kills me that we are having problems. The one thing I'm supposed to be able to do, I can't and it's completely heartbreaking.

"I never said you were being dramatic." He argues and I narrow my eyes at him. The word may have not been used directly, but he certainly implied that I've been acting dramatic. He sighs and pulls me into his arms and I go willingly because as much as I am annoyed with him, I love him and want to be comforted by him.

"I've been completely blind in seeing what her words have been doing to you. I only thought that you were annoyed, not that everytime she says something a little piece of your heart breaks." He explains and I blink rapidly to stop the tears from falling but I'm unsuccessful in stopping them.

"I'm sorry for not listening to you when you tried to explain how she makes you feel when she says those things. And I'll be talking to her again about it and telling her it needs to stop because you're my wife and your mental health is too important." He continues as he wipes my tears away with his fingers. It makes me happy that he's finally understanding how difficult it's been for me to hear those types of comments but I also feel like I should be able to handle the comments.

"Thank you." I whisper as I lean forward and give him a soft kiss before pulling away and looking towards the mirror so I can check my makeup. Groaning when I see myself, I hastily try to make it look like I haven't just been crying, but it's no use. There's no hiding it. With a sigh, I turn back towards Charles who is looking at me like he wishes he could do more to make me feel better.

"I love you, mon soleil." He says as he leans in for another kiss. Just as his lips are about to touch mine there's a loud knock on the door and Arthur's voice on the other side.

"You two are already apart of the mile high club! It's time to put your clothes back on, the pilot said we will be landing soon." He shouts and I can't help but laugh. Of course he thinks we're in here having sex. Charles groans and rests his head on my shoulder in annoyance, cursing under his breath about little brothers as I open the door. Arthur is smirking at us but once he sees my tear stained face it falls and concern is the only thing written on his face.

"What's wrong?" He asks me as I walk out of the bathroom with Charles following closely behind with one of his hands resting gently on my hip.

"Nothing. Just wasn't feeling very well." I reply. Arthur looks like to call me out on my bullshuit but he and Charles exchange a look and he nods before walking back to his seat where Charles and I follow.

I'm about to go back to the seat I was sitting in before by Morgan and Pascale, but Charles stops me and pulls me toward him to the seat next to his. Apparently he wants me close by, or maybe he just doesn't want me to sit by his mother. Either way, I'm not complaining and I settle in for the final descent. As I look out the window at the quickly approaching Italian coast, I tell myself to forget about everything regarding trying to have a baby and just focus on the present.

Life is good. I'm married to the man of my dreams and we're living this extravagently beautiful life. I have a healthy son, who I love fiercely as well as a found family that would do anything for me and vice versa. Life is good.Life is good.

We've been having an absolute blast the last week just enjoying the time we have with our friends and family. It's been full of swimming, eating, exploring, laughing, f*cking, relaxing, just taking a much needed break from our everyday lives. I'm happy, and carefree; living a life that I never dreamed of having before I met Charles. Every time I take a second to appreciate him, appreciate the life he's brought me into because we fell in love, overwhelms me. I fall deeper in love with him every day.

I hadn't thought about pregnancy, babies or conceiving much over the course of the week but that all changed this morning when I woke up with my period and I got another reminder that it's been another month with no luck. Charles found me crying on the bathroom floor and held me in his arms until I finally calmed down and told myself that I need to move on from it. I knew I wasn't going to be pregnant, but I still got my hopes up which is my fault. Eventually I got myself up and ready for the day, while Charles tried to cheer me up by singing me Maneskin songs and dancing around our room like a weirdo.

This morning we're having breakfast with Lando and Bianca who got here only a few days ago from spending a week just them to at Lake Como. Lando planned the whole thing to surprise her, and it seems like they are better than ever which makes me happy. They've had a rough go of things and for a while I thought it wasn't going to work, but they made it through.

I try my best to be present during the breakfast, but my mind keeps wandering to the fact that I started my period, yet again. I keep wondering what more I can do to help with conception. I've changed my diet and excersize routines so I'm healthier than I've ever been. I stopped drinking alcohol, I've made sure that I try to get enough sleep. I guess I could be better about all of that, and also try to limit my stress levels more but I'm at a loss for what else I can do and I realize that it might be time to go see a specialist.

Once we say goodbye to Bianca and Lando, I realize that I don't have any clue what we talked about at breakfast at all because I wasn't paying attention. No one said anything to me though, so I assume that they didn't notice or just decided not to say anything, which I'm thankful for. As Charles and I walk back to our villa, we stroll hand in hand and I try to avoid looking at all of the families with small children with them as we go but it's hard because they're everywhere.

There's a particularly adorable young boy who looks to be around 2 years old teetering along while he holds his parents' hands on either side of him and my heart clenches in my chest. Charles squeezes my hand and I look away from the family with misty eyes and look up at Charles giving me a sad smile. He stops me, and pulls me in for a searing kiss and I melt into him, welcoming the comfort he's silently giving me.

When we reach our villa a few minutes later, no one is here and I frown wondering where everyone went. Ezra, Arthur, Lorenzo, Charlotte and Pascale are all staying in the same villa so usually someone is always here but it's completely silent. With this development, Charles immediately pulls me into his arms suggestively and it makes me laugh. You would think it's been forever since he's gotten sex, but it's only been about 12 hours.

"Not today, remember I started my period?" I tell him as I give him a chaste kiss. When I try to disentangle myself from him though, he doesn't let me go.

"You know I don't care about that." He mumbles as he kisses along my neck. I moan because him kissing me feels good and I know he doesn't care about a little period blood but I'm not emotionally in the mood for sex, even if my body wants him.

"I know you don't, but..." I begin to say, but I don't know how to describe what I'm feeling right now to him in a way that won't upset him. He pulls away from my neck and looks at me intently in understanding.

"But you need time to process what getting your period again means." He says in understanding and I nod as I feel tears threatening to spill yet again. I hate how emotional this is all getting me, and I wish I could just move on each month like I don't care but the more often it happens, the harder it gets.

"Okay. Well then let's go watch a movie and relax. Then this afternoon we'll take a drive to Monterosso and we'll have a quiet afternoon just the two of us." He suggests as he moves a piece of my hair behind my ear.

"That sounds perfect. Thank you, LP." I tell him with a kiss.

When he pulls away, he looks pleased with himself and it makes me smile. As he walks towards the living room to go pick a movie out I go in search of my phone. I need to text Ezra and let him know the plan since he's not here. I'm assuming he's with Arthur somewhere but I want to check in with him. When I check my phone I have a notification from him and one from Bianca.

Ezra: Went out on Max's yacht with Arthur. Won't be back until later. Love you.
Me: Charles is taking me to Monterosso this afternoon so we might not be back until later. Be safe and make sure you stay with an adult! Love you.
Ezra: I'm not a baby Mama, but fine. 🙄

His message back to me makes me laugh. He certainly isn't a baby anymore, but he's not an adult quite yet and he'll always be my baby. Now that he's settled, I open the message from Bianca as I walk into the living room. Charles is sitting on the couch already scrolling through movie options.

Bianca: You seemed off this morning. Everything okay?
Me: I'm fine!
Bianca: Lydia...
Me: I started my period this morning.
Bianca: Oh, I'm sorry babe.
Me: Yeah, I'm just sad. We've been trying since February.
Me: I guess Charles' mom was right.
Bianca: Don't say that! It will happen, you just have to be patient.
Bianca: You have so much to look forward to, like your wedding! Only a few more months until you'll be Mrs. Leclerc!
Bianca: Maybe you're too stressed wedding planning and it's affecting your hormones?

I laugh at her message, because no one beyond our families know that we are actually married and have been for the last 9 months. We've been toying with the idea of letting our friends know, but haven't found the right moment to do so. I shoulder Charles gently and show him my phone and Bianca's messages.

"Should we finally let everyone know?" I ask with a smile and Charles glances towards me with his eyebrows raised like he doesn't believe what I'm actually asking. The idea of telling everyone makes me happy, and right now I want to be happy. Sure, everyone will probably be pissed we didn't tell them for so long but they'll get over it...eventually. Charles must be able to tell I want to tell him because he pulls me in for a seething kiss before answering me.

"If telling everyone makes you smile like you are now, then yes. Let's tell the whole f*cking world." He replies and I laugh easily, feeling myself release some of the heaviness from this morning.

"I don't know about the whole world, but our friends? I want to tell them." I say giddily and he laughs at me when I grab my phone to text Bianca back.

Me: Actually about that...
Bianca: What? Do you need my help planning?
Me: No. I mean yes, you can help but that's not what I was going to tell you.
Bianca: Okay...so what were you going to tell me?
Me: Charles and I are actually kinda, already married. Have been since November.
Me: SURPRISE?!!?
Bianca: WHHAAHATTT???!?!!???
Bianca: YOU DECIDE TO TELL ME THIS OVER TEXT?!
Bianca: WHO ELSE KNOWS?!
Bianca: HOLY sh*t! CONGRATULATIONS MR. & MRS. LECLERC!!
Me: Only Ezra, Arthur, Lorenzo, Charlotte and Pascale know. And now you.
Bianca: You did it in Vegas, didn't you?! You guys showed up to the after party late and you were wearing a white dress and he was in a suit! Holy sh*t! I can't believe you didn't tell anyone!
Me:We wanted to keep it secret.
Bianca: Well I hate to break it to you but you're going to have to start telling everyone because Lando heard me freaking out and ended up reading our texts. Sorry!
Me: sh*t, B! Don't let him out of your sight!
Bianca: Don't worry, I took his phone and now I'm going to distract him. 😉
Bianca: Congratulations again! I'm so happy for you guys. We're celebrating tonight!

Charles has been reading the messages over my shoulder and is laughing at Bianca's messages regarding Lando. I knew that once they knew, the whole group would know because Lando can't keep his mouth shut. Luckily, it's not truly that many people that need to know immediately.

"Should I call everyone or text them?" I ask.

"Do you want to hear Morgan yelling at you through the phone?" He asks as he laughs and I wrinkle my nose.

"Text it is!" I reply and then decide that a group text with everyone would be better too. Morgan might behave better in a group setting.

I decide that instead of telling them, I'm going to send a photo from the night we got married. It's my favorite photo of us. We're standing in front of the Welcome to Las Vegas sign and Charles is dipping me as we kiss. There's a small veil draping down my back and our rings are on full display. We look so happy and even though it was pretty spur of the moment, I love that we decided to go for it. It was the best decision I've made since deciding to keep Ezra.

Charles kisses my shoulder tenderly as he looks at the photo with me. Butterflies flow through me at his expression when he turns to look at me and leans forward to place a gentle kiss on my lips. I deepen the kiss, because this man is too hard to resist. I'm about to say to hell with the idea to not have sex, when my phone starts dinging with notifications.

Kelly: OMG I KNEW IT!
Kelly:I had a feeling you guys did it in Vegas, but you never said anything!
Morgan: YOU'RE KIDDING ME, RIGHT?!
Morgan:YOU'RE SUCH A whor* FOR NOT TELLING ANYONE!
Max:Simply lovely. Congratulations!
Ezra:Finally everyone knows, now I don't have to stress out about accidentally telling someone.
Arthur:Same, what a relief. I almost blabbed so many times.
Morgan:Wait, you two you knew?!!!?
Me:Of course they knew. They were there.
Morgan:Why were they there and not me?! I'm your best friend!
Me:Actually Kelly is my best friend. But that's besides the point.
Kelly:Yeah Morgan, stop trying to stealing my best friend from me. Also, I don't care I wasn't invited. I'm too happy for you guys to care! Plus, I totally get the secrecy!
Me:Love you Kell, thank you!
Morgan:Well I do care! Why did Ezra and Arthur get to go?!
Me:Because Ezra is my son and Arthur is Charles' brother?
Me:Lorenzo and Charlotte were also there. And Pascale knows as well.
Morgan:OHHHH I get it now. Only family was told about it...cool, cool.
Me:Stop being dramatic and tell us congratulations you bitch. 😂
Morgan:Congratulations 🖕🏻
Lando:Damn, everyone knows now?! I wanted to tell everyone that B and I knew first.
Me:Thanks for distracting him long enough for us, B.
Bianca:It was my pleasure. Emphasis on the pleasure. 😉
Jeremy:How many times do I have to beg you to not say that sort of sh*t when I can read it?
Bianca:and I keep telling you to block me, old man.
Kelly:We should have a party tonight to celebrate you guys!
Bianca:Already starting to plan something. I'll text you seperately so we can surprise the not so new, newlyweds!
Morgan:You better text me too, you slu*t.
Ezra:Can we be done with this conversation? I don't wany my phone to keep blowing up with notifications.
Bianca:Yes Ez, we can be done. I'll text everyone the details on tonight once we have a set plan!

I put my phone down with a laugh and Charles looks at me fondly as I cuddle into him. My mood has lifted significantly after that crazy conversation and I realize how great life truly is. Although we are having a hard time getting pregnant, it's not the end of the world. The more I stress about the situation the harder it will be so I need to remind myself that it's okay it's taking time. Everything happens for a reason and we just need to take it one day at a time. That's hard though when it's something I want so badly for us. I guess it wouldn't hurt to go to a specialist to get tests done and see if there's a bigger underlying issue, though. I'll have to bring the idea up to Charles after summer break. For now I just want to enjoy the rest of our free time together.

"I've changed my mind." I announce and Charles looks at me with confusion which makes me smile because he looks completely clueless.

"About what?" He asks but I don't respond. I just move off the couch and drop to my knees in front of him and silently start to take off his pants. Understanding comes over his face and his eyes darken as he stares down at me with a wicked smirk.

"I still can't believe you didn't tell anyone!" Morgan whines to me later that evening. We have just finished an amazing Italian dinner full of pasta, salads, and delicious bread. The girls truly outdid themselves with the short amount of time she had to plan. We're on tgr rooftop of a villa overlooking the Mediterranean sea. We ate under a giant pergola covered in climbing roses, jasmine and twinkle lights. It's been magical and I have loved every second of it.

Everyone is now drinking sangria and dancing to the music that Lando is playing since he's playing DJ tonight. Morgan and I are sitting at the table we all ate dinner at and I'm sipping on water. I see Morgan eyeing me speculatively and I know the wheels are turning in her head, but she's also drunk so maybe she's just confused.

"It was actually really short notice that we decided to do it and we wanted it to be just us and our families at first. We weren't trying to keep you guys in the dark, but we didn't want any information to get leaked and it was hard to find the best time to tell everyone." I explain and Morgan pouts prettily.

"I would have been there even if you told me 5 minutes before." She grumbles and I smile.

"I know and I love you for it. I'm sorry. You'll be there for the big wedding that's more imporant anyways..." I tell her as I notice Jeremy and Charles making their way over to us. Morgan rolls her eyes at my words and I feel bad that she actually seems truly upset.

"That wedding isn't the more important one..."She pouts and I don't disagree with her. The wedding we're having in November is for the media and for everyone who wasn't with us in Vegas.

"If it makes you feel better, you can get married to Jeremy without telling me. Tit for tat and all that." I joke as the boys come to stand next to us. Jeremy laughs at what I said but Morgans eyes bulge wide when she realizes Jeremy heard me.

"Don't worry baby. I'm not planning on proposing quite yet." He whispers to her as he helps her up from the chair and leads her to the makeshift dance floor they've created. Charles laughs at them as they walk past and he comes to sit next to me. He looks so handsome tonight, in a light colored linen matching set. His skin is so tan from being out in the sun and his hair is messy and sexy, and I am so obsessed with him.

"Tu es si belle ce soir mon soleil." He says darkly as he looks me up and down and I feel my face flush at his perusal. I know he's somewhat drunk because he reverts to French when he is since english becomes too hard.

"Merci mon amour. Tu as l'air bien toi-même." I reply and he smiles broadly and bites on his bottom lip as he stares at me devilishly.

"J'aime quand tu me parles français, c'est ma deuxième chose préférée que tu fais avec ta bouche." He says and I smack him lightly and feign shock by what he said but laugh because he's adorable when he's like this. He grabs my hand and pulls me towards him and sets me on his lap. The smile on my face is so big it's starting to hurt; he makes me so happy.

"Tu m'as torturé toute la nuit dans cette robe." He says darkly as he runs his fingertips along my exposed thigh where the slit is located on my dress. Goosebumps erupt all over my body from his touch and he smiles against my neck before placing a soft kiss on my collarbone which makes me squirm against him. I feel him harden beneath me and he makes a noise of satisfaction against my skin which makes me clench with need for him.

His fingers trail even higher on my thigh and he's getting so close to where I want him the most, but then I realize where we are and stop him by grabbing his hand to stop him from going any further up my thigh. He chuckles as he kisses my neck again and I hate, yet love this game he seems to be playing.

"Pensez-vous que nous leur manquerons si nous partons?" I whisper breathlessly as he continues his perusal of my neck. My body is on fire from his touch and I desperately want to leave so we can go continue this in private. Without a word, he lifts me gently to my feet and stands then grabs one of my hands and drags us out of the view of our friends and family and towards the exit of the villa.

Chapter 61: Real Love Baby

Chapter Text

Lydia's POV

"Okay, what's wrong mon soleil? Ever since you got back from London, you've been acting off." Charles asks me on the car ride to the hotel we're staying at in Azerbaijan. I glance toward him from where I was silently looking out the window at the scenery passing by and sigh as I look at his beautiful face.

Tears well in my eyes as I think about what's bothering me and I hate myself for it. I look between him and the driver, wondering if I should tell him we will talk about it later when we're alone, but the next thing I know, Charles pushes a button, and a divider pops up between us and the driver.

"Bianca is pregnant." I explain once it's as private as we're going to get for right now, and I watch as Charles' eyebrows furrow with confusion.

"Is Lando the father?" He asks curiously and I roll my eyes because who else would be the father? But I guess it's an understandable question due to all of the drama that has unfolded over the last month.

"Yes, of course he is." I respond with a small smile and a shake of my head.

"Well, that's great news!" He exclaims and tears well in my eyes as I watch his reaction. It is wonderful news, and I'm so happy for the two of them but I can't help but feel overwhelming sadness because Charles and I have had no luck. Yet, Bianca gets pregnant on accident while on birth control. It just doesn't seem fair. I know that's selfish of me, but I can't help it.

"It is." I choke out as happily as I can, but a single tear escapes my eye and I quickly look away from Charles, so he doesn't see it. I'm not lucky enough though, and a moment later he's leaning towards me and pulling my face towards him gently so we're looking at one another. The way he's looking at me with so much love and concern makes me break down into full sobs as he pulls me tightly into his arms.

"It's going to happen for us too, baby. I promise you." He whispers into my hair and gives me a sweet kiss. The comfort he's providing it absolutely wonderful, and I try my hardest to believe his words but it's just so hard to when I feel like the opposite is true.

"Something must be wrong with me though; it shouldn't take this long. Your mom really was right, I'm just too old." I sob, finally saying my biggest fear out loud after toeing around the subject for months. I feel it in my gut that I'm the reason it hasn't happened yet. Charles pulls away from me suddenly, his hands grabbing my face a bit forcefully as he makes me look at him. His expression is full of anger and sadness, and it makes me cry even harder. I don't want to cause him pain or stress but I'm doing exactly that.

"No, Lydia! Not a single thing is wrong with you; you're perfect and my maman was not right! Just because it hasn't happened yet doesn't even mean anything is wrong! It just means the timing hasn't been right yet." He practically growls at me, begging me to believe his words. I squeeze my eyes shut to hide from him, because as much as I want to believe him, I don't.

Charles groans in annoyance and I feel him rest his forehead against mine and sigh deeply. Guilt flows through me. I shouldn't be stressing him out like this, especially when he needs to be focusing on this weekend and the race. With a sigh of my own, I reach up and pull his hands from my face and give him a quick kiss.

"I'm sorry for stressing you out. Maybe I should go back to Monaco." I tell him when I pull away and I watch as his eyes flash open and another look of anger is aimed at me.

"If you think that I'd be less stressed if you left, you're insane. Do you not want to be here with me?" He asks brusquely and my heart clenches in my chest.

"Of course, I want to be here with you. I always want to be where you are." I tell him quickly, upset that he thinks I don't want to be.

"Then stop, mon soleil. Stop thinking that I don't want you here because you're causing me stress. I promise you; I know how to handle it." He explains and I think back on all the times he has raced through stressful and heartbreaking circ*mstances and I realize he's telling the truth.

"I promise I'll try to get out of this funk. Just hearing that Bianca is pregnant made me selfishly upset. I'm so happy for her and Lando but I'm also extremely jealous and sad that it's not happening for us." I explain and Charles grabs my hand and squeezes.

"I think those are normal things to feel." He replies and leans forward to give me a lingering kiss. It makes me feel better having his lips on mine.

"I just want to hear from the fertility doctor already. Once we meet with them, I think I'll feel better about all of this because we'll know more about what's going on and what we can do to fix this." I rant and Charles runs his hand through my hair in comfort as I rest my head against his shoulder.

"When we get to the hotel, I'll make some calls. See if I can get us in quicker." He replies and I want to argue that we can wait just like everyone else, but I know Charles is worried about me and just wants to make sure I'm okay. So I keep my mouth shut, instead choosing to kiss him gently on the neck as a silent thank you.

"Good news! We have an appointment on Tuesday." Charles tells me excitedly as I step out of the bathroom after taking a long, hot relaxing bath insisted by him. My eyes widen at his words, and I can't control the smile that comes over my face. Relief flows through me and I'm so happy that we'll hopefully be getting answers soon. I run to Charles and wrap my arms around him in a tight hug.

"Thank you. Thank you. Thank you!" I repeat as I kiss him all over his face which makes him laugh until I finally reach his mouth and kiss him passionately, showing him just how much I love him and everything he does for me. It's not long until things grow more intense, and my towel drops to the floor, leaving me standing naked before him. He pulls away from me and drags his eyes up and down my body possessively. It makes my stomach dip to see the desire in his eyes.

"How about we try to make a baby right now." He says as he drags a finger over my breasts, causing my nipples to harden and I moan at the sensations flowing through my body as he continues to touch me. I nod and bite my lip when he reaches my center and groans deeply when he finds me soaking wet for him.

"Tu vas être ma mort." he growls as he grabs me by my hips and pulls me against him and kisses me roughly. I moan into his mouth, wanting him desperately. Impatiently, I start undressing him and luckily he helps me when I get frustrated with his jeans. He laughs at me which makes me growl in annoyance but finally we're both naked. He wastes no time in pushing me down onto the bed and entering me slowly. It feels incredible, he feels incredible and just like every time we do this, I get lost within him. It doesn't take long until I'm coming beneath him and urging him to follow right after.

"I love you." I whisper as I wrap my body around his after we come down from the high. He wraps his arms around me and kisses the top of my head and I feel so at peace and hopeful for the first time in a long time.

"I love you too, mon soleil."

"So after the testing we did, it looks like your husband is healthy and no issues were detected." The fertility doctor says to me as I sit across from him in his office. It's a couple days after our appointment where they took both mine and Charles blood, among other things for testing. Charles is currently in Singapore while I'm in Monaco. I decided to skip Singapore because I wanted to be able to be here to have this specific meeting in person.

I'm relieved to hear that everything is good with Charles. I'm not surprised, as I was expecting him to be clear but that only means that I am actually the problem. I was expecting it, but it still makes me sad to know I'm the reason we are having issues. It feels like I'm a failure.

"So that must mean something is wrong with me..." I say, encouraging the doctor to continue. He looks at me sympathetically and I try to keep the moisture forming in my eyes from falling.

"The most common reason for infertility is an inbalance of hormones that cause problems during ovulation. It doesn't mean something is wrong with you, it just means you need to make some changes to try to regulate the hormones." He explains and I nod in understanding.

"Some things that could help regulate your hormones would be to change your diet; making sure you get plently of cruciferous vegetables, good fats, and high quality protein. I can get you a list of all the recommended foods. It's also recommended to consistantly excersize as well as manage stress as best as possible." The doctor explains and I think about how I can improve on all of those things. I'm pretty healthy as it is, but I can certainly do more to help my hormones regulate.

"So basically just lifestyle changes?" I ask, slightly annoyed since that's not that helpful as I've already made lots of changes in my lifestyle to try to conceive.

"I'm also going to prescribe you clomid, which is a medication that helps with infertility. It helps in stimulating an increase of hormones to help the growth and release of your eggs." He answers and I smile in relief that he's actually giving me something to help as well as the lifestyle changes.

"We will try the medication first, along with the lifestyle changes and see how it goes. If you still haven't conceived in 3 months, we will move onto the next option. But based on your test results, I believe that this will be the solution, Mrs. Leclerc." He finishes and I break out into a bright smile. He thinks we'll be pregnant within 3 months and that makes me so relieved and excited.

"Thank you!" I exclaim which makes him smile and chuckle lightly. I'm sure I seem insane, although he probably is used to it. We speak for a few more minutes before I'm heading out of the doctors office with my prescription tucked into my bag and a sh*t eating grin on my face. Even though I am the reason we haven't gotten pregnant yet, I feel so good about things now.

As I climb into Charles' Ferrari Purosangue so I can drive to the pharmacy to fill my prescription, I pull my phone out of my bag and pull up Charles' contact. He should be doing the press interview right now so I send him a text letting him know about the doctors appointment since I know he's anxious to know how it went.

Me: It's me, hi!
Me: I'm the problem, it's me.

I know he's not going to enjoy those messages, but it's too funny for me not to do it. He should be used to my love of Taylor at this point and quoting song lyrics all of the time. I'm about to write out a more detailed message when my phone starts to ring through the bluetooth of the car. Charles' name is displayed and I immediately answer.

"Hey, I thought you'd be in the press conference still." I answer and I hear lots of voices in the background.

"We just finished, I got your messages as we were walking out." He explains.

"How are you doing? Based on your messages, I can only imagine how you're feeling mon soleil." He adds, sounding worried and I smile at his concern.

"I'm actually really great!" I reply happily and I can almost imagine him scrunching his eyebrows together in confusion on why I sound so happy.

"I am the problem, but with some lifestyle changes and this medication the doctor prescribed me, he suspects that we'll be pregnant within 3 months!" Hearing those words outloud makes me giddy with excitement. I expect Charles to be just as happy and excited as me but his response makes me annoyed.

"What lifestyle changes?!" He growls in annoyance.

"Better diet, more excersize, less stress. You know, normal things." I explain and I can practically hear Charles' wheels turning in his head.

"You are already eating well, and exercising. I don't understand how you could improve on those more than you already have." He explains and I sigh.

"I don't know Charles, but I'm going to! Unless this is something you no longer want." I snap in frustration. It's upsetting that he isn't excited like I was only moments ago. Instead he's stressing about the lifestyle changes that won't even effect him! Silence follows my words, and I realize what I just accused him of, must be exactly why he's responding the way he is. He's changed his mind and that makes dread fill my body.

"I need to go, I'm meeting up with Kelly to do some wedding stuff. I'll talk to you later." I rush out, and hang up before I start to have a break down. A moment later my phone is ringing again but I decline his call and turn my phone on do not disturb. I'm probably over reacting but it's just all too much right now. Tears are threatening to fall and I'm breathing irratically. Telling myself I need to calm down, I focus on my breathing and finally I calm down enough to drive the car.

Deciding to not fill the prescription just yet, I instead head to Kelly and Max's place. I wasn't lying to Charles when I said I was meeting up with Kelly. It's just that I'm now meeting up with her sooner that we had planned. Before I could knock on their door, Kelly opens it. I look at her curiously, wondering if she's on her way out, but she's barefoot.

"Charles called me..." she says in explanation and I nod sadly as I walk into their house and take off my shoes. I shouldn't be surprised that he called her when I didn't answer his many calls throughout the car ride.

"What happened?" She asks as I walk into their living room where Penelope is playing and give her a hug and kiss on top of her head.

"I had my follow up appointment this morning." I start to explain. She knows what I'm talking about since I've been ranting to her the past month about my infertility struggles. She and Max are apparently also having some as well, but they aren't as eager to get pregnant yet so they haven't gone to any doctors yet.

"How did it go?" She asks and I explain everything to her that the doctor told me.

"Okay, so why is Charles calling me frantically trying to get ahold of you?" She asks when I finish.

"Because when I told him the news, he only asked why I need to make lifestyle changes. He didn't seem happy or excited. I think he changed his mind and doesn't want a baby anymore." I confess and she looks at me with an 'are you crazy?' look.

"Don't look at me like that." I scowl and she laughs.

"Whose the one who said they wanted to start a family first?" She asks me and I think back to when Charles won the championship last year and how he said he still had one more wish to fulfill, a family.

"He did..." I answer.

"And who did all of that research on different fertility doctors and found the best one?" She asks and I sigh.

"He did." I say hoarsely as I think back on only a few weeks ago when he surprised me by showing me all of the different doctors he researched and which ones he thought would be the best option for us.

"And who..." she begins but I stop her.

"I get it! He's consistently shown me that he wants a family like I do, but maybe now that it's becoming more of a reality, he doesn't actually want it anymore..." I say with doubt.

"Maybe the fact I haven't gotten pregnant yet is a sign that we shouldn't even have kids. Maybe I'm just trying to force something that's not supposed to happen." I raise my voice in frustrated sadness as I stare at P, playing quietly with a doll and my heart yearns yet again for another child.

"You can't actually believe that." Kelly replies sadly and I glance towards her.

"I don't know. I just know that this morning I was happy and now I'm questioning everything. Can we postpone the wedding planning? I just want to go home and take a nap." I ask and she looks at me like she wants to say no but eventually agrees. With a hug and kiss to both her and P, I leave their apartment with a promise to see them soon and head back to Charles' place.

When I step foot in the apartment and the door is locked firmly behind me I let the tears I've been holding back out and cry until I fall asleep. It's awhile later when I wake up and realize that I should probably check my phone. When I go to get it from my bag, I avoid the prescription paper as best as I can until I have my phone in my hand. I have multiple notifications. Some from Charles, even more from Morgan, a couple from Ezra, and one that came in only a few minutes ago from Jeremy. I ignore Charles and Morgan's for now and open Ezra and Jeremy's instead.

Ezra: Charles called me about what happened with you two this morning.
Ezra: You need to stop sabotaging things, Mama.
Ezra: I actually think Charles wants a baby more than you do, so stop being dumb.
Me: Thank you for your feedback, baby! I appreciate it!

I sigh as I reply to his messages. I'm not surprised that he is saying those things to me, and I'm not necessarily upset about it. He doesn't understand how I'm feeling and I don't expect him to but he still gets a sarcastic response from me because I'm not about to argue with him. I decide to check Jeremy's message and I'm intrigued.

Jeremy: Want to come to Austria?
Me:When?
Jeremy: Whenever you want.

I haven't spent much time in Austria since summer break because Jeremy had decided I could work remote for him since I wanted to travel with Charles. Partially so we could continue trying to have a baby, and partially because we missed each other too much to be apart for too long. But now might be a good time to get away. I should probably talk to Charles before I agree to it though.

Me: Let me think about it and I'll let you know.
Jeremy: Sounds good.

With that, I take a deep breath and pull up the messages from Charles, needing to know what he's been sending me. There are only 3 messages.

Charles: Please call me, mon soleil.
Charles: I'm sorry about how I reacted.
Charles: I love you.

The last one was only about 20 minutes ago and it makes me heart ache in my chest. I know I need to call him and let him explain his reaction but I still need time. So, I move onto the messages from Morgan.

Morgan: What happened with you and Charles?
Morgan: He's been a complete asshole today.
Morgan: Snapping at anyone and everyone.
Morgan: He won't tell me what happened, just that I need to check on you.
Morgan: Did something happen with the doctor?
Morgan: Did they tell you there's no chance you can get pregnant?
Morgan: That would explain why Charles is acting the way he is...

My mind goes a mile a minute when I read her messages and I hate that I am making Charles act like that. I'm causing him to be stressed and it's not good.

Me: Why would that explain it?
Morgan: Finally you answer!
Morgan: And it would explain it because he wants nothing more than to start a family with you...duh!

As I read her response I hear the doorbell ring to the apartment and I frown, wondering who it might be. Putting my phone down in the kitchen as I walk to the door, I pull it open to see the concierge holding a vase of the most beautiful pale pink and white peonies and ranunculus and a brown paper bag with the nameLa Tavernettawritten on it - my favorite restaurant in Monaco.

"Bonjour mademoiselle Lydia. Monsieur Leclerc a demandé qu'on vous les livre. Où voudriez-vous qu'ils aillent?" He asks with a polite smile.

"Dans la cuisine s'il vous plaît." I reply with a smile of my own and allow him to set the items down in the kitchen. As he leaves a few moments later I tell him thank you and he gives me a small bow. It's still so weird being treated like royalty just because of who Charles is. I'm still not used to it, and this is before they know that we are actually married. I can't even imagine what it will be like once we are publicly married.

When I walk back into the kitchen to look at the flowers and food Charles has sent, I notice there's a note in the flowers. I grab it and open the envelope to see what the note says.

Mon soliel, I can't wait to start this next chapter of our lives together. I love you.

My heart aches in my chest at his sweet words. I truly did overreact this morning and he's doing everything in his power to show me how much he wants the same thing I do. Moving to the bag of food, I see all of my favorite pastas, salads and dessert. There's enough food to last for days and it makes me want to cry and laugh at the same time. Charles sure knows how to apologize, and he doesn't even need to. I'm the one who freaked out over nothing just because he didn't react like I wanted him to. I'm such a bitch.

Reaching for my phone, I waste no time in finding Charles number and press dial. I get nervous when he doesn't answer on the first few rings but finally the call connects on the fifth ring.

"Thank god you finally called him back. He's been insufferable all afternoon." Morgan's voice says into the phone and guilt flies through me.

"Where is he?" I ask, avoiding her comment and wondering where he's at where she has to answer his phone for him.

"He's filming something for Ferrari's social media page. He should be done in like 5 minutes...or now..." she trails off with a laugh as a flurry of what sounds like angry Italian is going rapid fire and then I hear him.

"Is it Lydia?" I hear him ask and Morgan must nod since I don't hear her respond. A moment later, I hear him loud and clear in my ear.

"Baby, I'm so sorry. I know I didn't react well to the news earlier. I just hate thinking that you feel like you need to make all of these changes when you're already doing so much as it is. It just makes me so angry that you feel like it's your fault." He says desperately as the background noise turns quiet and I hear a door shut. I'm teary eyed hearing just how stressed he sounds.

"But it is my fault..." I whisper sadly and I hear him groan on the other side of the phone.

"I swear if I hear you say that one more time, I'm going to lose it! 80% of women have the same issues going on that you do. 80%, mon soleil! It doesn't mean it's your fault, it's normal for a woman to have to deal with this which is unfortunate but it's the norm. If it's your fault, then is it also the many other women that are also going through the same thing as you, fault? I don't think you believe that, so why do you believe that for our situation?" He rants and I realize I never really thought of it that way. I would never tell another woman that it was her fault she couldn't conceive so why am I doing it to myself?

"God, I was already feeling horrible for how I overreacted earlier and now I feel even worse." I say with a laugh.

"I didn't mean to make you feel bad mom soleil. I just wanted you to understand why my first thought was what it was." He says softly and I feel overwhelmed with how much I love him. He's been so concerned about me throughout this whole process of trying to get pregnant that and I should have realized that this morning before jumping to conclusions and thinking he wasn't excited or that he changed his mind.

"I understand now and I'm sorry for how I reacted this morning, it was a completely unwarranted reaction and I hate that I questioned you about if this is what you want. Especially after how much you've shown that this is exactly what you want."

"You don't have to apologize, after we got off the phone I realized I should have reacted differently at first and then brought up my concerns later once I was back in Monaco and could talk to you in person. I'm sorry." He replies and I sigh thinking about how far we've come with our communication, yet how we still have so much to work on.

"I think you made up for it with the flowers and the food. Thank you, LP." I say with a smile and I hear Charles sigh happily when he hears his nickname. Suddenly I hear a loud knock and a flurry of more Italian in my ear and Charles responding back before he's back on the line.

"I'm sorry baby, but I have to go finish filming this thing for TikTok. I left midway through because I wanted to talk to you. I will call you later?" He asks in a hurry and I let him know that's fine and that I love him. He says it back and then hangs up the phone. I put my phone down on the counter and get to work on eating some of this delicious food before I need to go fill that prescription and hopefully catch Kelly so we can indeed do some wedding planning since the wedding is quickly approaching.

Chapter 62: Pursuit of Happiness

Chapter Text

Lydia's POV

"Can you believe it's been a year already?" I ask Charles as we walk through the entrance of Zilker Park for Austin City Limits. We decided to attend again this year because even with all of the drama that went down last year with me getting assaulted, it was the weekend where everything changed and we reunited. It holds a special place in our hearts, and we couldn't miss it. Although, this time is a bit different since Charles wanted to vlog the whole weekend for his YouTube channel, so we have lots of cameras following us around.

"Best year of my life." Charles replies as he pulls me against his side and kisses me gently. A goofy smile comes over my face at his words and I relax into his side as we continue walking to the VIP area to meet up with Jeremy and Morgan. Ezra, Arthur, Max and Kelly decided to opt out of coming this year and stayed in Monaco until the Austin GP next weekend and Lando is in London with Bianca because they are keeping a low profile right now. So it's just the four of us and some of Charles' team.

"Hopefully it will just keep getting better and better." I say wistfully, as I think about how we'll hopefully have a baby by this time next year. Charles squeezes me tightly and kisses my temple sweetly and he confidently says 'It will.' and I know he's thinking the same things I am.

I've been on my fertility medicine for three weeks now, and it's been interesting to say the least. The first week I was taking it, I started my period so I assumed that all that I was feeling was just symptoms of my period, but the symptoms stayed even after my period was over. It took me a couple of days to realize I was experiencing side effects from the medication. I've been battling migraines and nausea, mood swings, hot flashes, dizziness and insomnia and it's been pretty brutal. Hopefully I'll be able to survive this weekend.

"There you guys are!" Morgan says excitedly when she spots us approaching. You'd think we hadn't seen each other in forever by how she reacts but it's only been a week. They flew to the states before we did because Jeremy wanted to go to San Diego first. He was being dodgy before they left when I asked him what his plans were for their time there, but I quickly realize why when I spot the giant pear shaped diamond ring on Morgan's very important ring finger. I immediately grab her hand so I can look at the beautiful ring.

"No f*cking way!!" I shout as I look between the ring, Morgan and then Jeremy. Tears prick my vision as I realize two of my favorite people are getting married.

"Are you going to cry?" Morgan asks with a shocked laugh and I clear my throat and wipe away some moisture from my eye.

"Shut up! Let me be happy for two of my best friends. Holy sh*t, you guys are getting married. YOU GUYS ARE GETTING MARRIED!" I shout and pull them into a group hug and I tell them congratulations over and over until they are laughing and pulling me off of them.

When I step back from them, Charles pulls me against him lovingly as he tells them congratulations in a much more dignified manner. Morgan and Jeremy look so happy and I'm so excited for them. This weekend is also special to them. Last year at this time I never would have expected them to be engaged but everything works out for a reason. Charles squeezes me tightly against him to get me attention and I realize I zoned out as I was thinking about everything that's happened for us all over the course of a year.

"Are you okay mon soleil?" Charles asks as I look over at him. I give him a bright smile and sigh happily.

"I'm perfect, LP. Just reminiscing in my mind." I reply and give him a kiss on his jaw before continuing.

"Are we ready to go exploring?!" I ask the group excitedly and they all happily agree and we make our way out of the VIP section and go explore ACL.

"Damn you for winning again this year!" I complain to Charles as we climb out of our karts. For his birthday, he wanted to go karting again like last year and who am I to say no. He looks so happy as he walks over to where I'm parked in 7th place. Morgan made me crash on the second to last lap so I fell far behind but I don't really care. Seeing the smile on Charles' face makes everything worth it.

"There's no stopping me baby." He laughs and I roll my eyes and take off my helmet to hand to the person working. Charles hands off his helmet as well and once the worker is walking towards the rest of our group Charles pulls me into his arms and kisses me fiercely. By the time he pulls away, I'm breathless.

"What was that for?" I ask with a heavy breath.

"For making my birthday special once again. More specifically for this morning, and what happened." He replies darkly as he bites his lip slightly and my body flushes as I think back on this morning. I woke him up with my mouth around his co*ck, but he made me stop so he could spend his time teasing me relentlessly until I begged him to let me to f*ck me. When he finally did, we both lost control. It was one of the most intense experiences we've had together.

"Want a repeat?" I ask suggestively and his eyes begin to smolder and his hands on my hips tighten. He's about to respond when Andrea interrupts.

"Vieni, ragazzino, andiamo a mangiare. Tutti stanno aspettando." Andrea tells Charles who playfully glares at his trainer but nods at whatever he said. I still don't know much Italian.

"Ci vediamo al ristorante." Charles replies and a moment later Andrea nods and goes to the rest of the group and tells them something. They all file out of the building but Charles doesn't go to move yet. He just holds me.

"Tonight mom soleil. I want a repeat tonight. Multiple repeats if you're up to it." He tells me darkly as he stares between my lips and my eyes. Tingles run though my body at the unmistakable insinuation of his words and I wish we could go back to the rental now and skip dinner. But we can't. Now when everyone is expecting us at the restaurant.

"I'm up to it." I reply breathily and Charles smiles wickedly before kissing me deeply, giving me a sneak peak of what he has planned for us later. This time I'm the one to away, much to Charles annoyance.

"We need to meet everyone at the restaurant." I tell him with a laugh and he groans as I grab his hand in mine and drag him to the door so we can go to the car we're driving while here.

"I'm sorry you didn't win this year baby, but P3 is so amazing and I'm so proud of you!" I tell Charles when he finds me in his drivers room after all of the celebrations and media he just had to complete. He wraps his arms around me and kisses me gently. He smells like champagne and sweat, it's intoxicating. I moan when he tugs me closer to his body and I swear I can feel him hard underneath all of his gear.

Slowly I help him undress as I continue to kiss him. My mouth travels down his body as I start removing all of this clothes so he can shower and get dressed so we can leave. Once all of his clothes are off, I can't help but stare. He's beautiful and so damn sexy, and his co*ck is getting harder by the second. He smirks at me when I realize he caught me staring but I don't care. My husband is mighty fine.

"Take off your clothes Lydia." He says darkly and I waste no time in obeying his orders because there's no way I'm going to miss out on enjoying his co*ck inside of me. Once I'm completely naked I assumed Charles would invite me into the shower but instead he just stares at me with heavy-lidded lust filled eyes.

"Stand against the door facing me." He demands and I clench my puss* in anticipation. I love when he's dominate like this and I'm so intrigued to know where this goes. When I get to the door, I stand against it. It's cold against my ass but it feels good on my hot body.

"Put your hands above your head and keep them there for me." He continues his demands and I feel myself growing wet by his words. I slowly raise my hands above my head which makes my breasts jut out toward him like two apples ready for his to pick.

Finally he makes his way towards me. I'm anticipating his hands on me, but instead they go to the lock beside me, where he turns the lock so no one can get in. He's only inches away from me but not touching me and it's torture. My breathing is picking up in anticipation of what's going to happen and I'm ready for him to do something, anything.

His fingers finally graze along my hip, up my ribs and towards my hard nipples. When I feel him pinch them I gasp so loudly at the sensation that I think the whole paddock could hear me but I don't care. Neither does Charles by the wicked gleam in his eye. He pinches both nipples now, enlisting another loud gasp of pleasure and I'm desperate for more.

"Charles, please." I beg, squirming against the door as he flicks my nipples causing me to clench my legs for some minor relief. He smiles and leans forward to place a feather light kiss against my lips and I desperately want more but he pulls away before I can deepen it. I groan in frustration when Charles steps away from me completely.

"Just f*ck me LP, please." I beg again and he looks me up and down before coming back towards me, grabbing one of my legs by the crook of my knee and pulling it around his hip. Then before I can comprehend what his plan is, he's guiding his co*ck inside of me and I'm moaning against his neck as he fills me so perfectly.

"Hold onto me baby, this is going to be a rough ride." He growls once he reaches the hilt and my hands immediately fall down to his shoulders where I grip on tight as he starts pounding into me. It is rough like he warned, but it's so toe curling good and exactly what he both needed, that we end up coming together only a few minutes later.

Nerves wrack through my body as I sit on the edge of the toilet seat in our bathroom back in Monaco. There are four pregnancy tests lined along the sink and I'm trying to tell myself that it's probably not going to be the results I want. I only just started the fertility medicine a few weeks ago. It's not a miracle worker that will make it happen immediately. But it's hard for myself not to get excited. I'm only two days late for my period and that could be from the medicine as well as from traveling and changing my routine.

Charles is currently at a workout with Andrea and has no idea I'm taking these tests right now. No one knows I'm taking them because I know everyone is over me crying over the results. Charles thinks it's better to not test at all. He thinks it just makes me depressed to which he's not wrong.

I'm a nervous wreck, my legs won't stop shaking and I'm so anxious I feel like I need to puke. The timer on my phone goes off and I jump up to my feet to turn it off and grab the first test. It's a blue line test and I don't know if it's wishful thinking or what but I swear I see a faint line. My heart immediately starts beating faster than it already was and I'm slack jawed. Immediately I start recording on my phone as I grab the next test from the counter, this one being a small test strip, which also has a possible faint line.

I try to tell myself to calm down so I can read the last two tests that are both digital tests. These will be the true determinations on whether or not I'm actually pregnant. With a deep breath I pull both of them out of their packets in one go to see the results.Pregnantis written, clear as day, on the results area of the tests and I immediately start sobbing from relief, excitement, and happiness. I'm pregnant, finally!

I'm in such shock that I'm at a loss for what to do. I end up sliding to the ground and laying down as I calm myself down, gently resting my hand on my stomach, cherishing the fact that I have a baby growing in there finally. I lay there for I don't know how long until I realize I need to get up before Charles finds me here and wonders what I'm doing. When I stand, I grab the pregnancy tests and hide them for now, not really sure how I want to tell Charles yet. I know I need to do it quickly since we're headed back to the states soon for our wedding and the Las Vegas GP, but I want to tell him in a cute way.

About thirty minutes later, I'm sitting in the living room on my phone when I hear the door to the apartment open and Charles' voice calling out for me.

"I'm in the living room, LP." I shout in reply and I glance up to see Charles looking mighty fine in his workout gear and a light twinge of sweat. He's so devastatingly handsome that I don't notice the small bag he is carrying in his hand until he's placing it in my lap and bending down to give me a kiss in greeting. When he pulls away I narrow my eyes at him playfully as I grab the small bag and start riffling through it.

"What is this?" I ask incredulously as I pull out a small square jewelry box. Charles just smiles down at me as I open the box and my mouth drops open on surprise. Inside is the most beautiful ring I've ever seen. It is a gold setting with one large square cushion cut center stone surrounded by smaller marquise stones, making it look like a sun. Below that ring is a second one which is much more simply but equally as beautiful. A gold band with small circle stones with lines etched around it to also look like suns My eyes grow wet with tears as I stare down at the rings.

"You never got an engagement ring and the rings we used to get married needed to be upgraded." He tells me when I don't say anything and I glance up at him as tears begin to fall. Concern is in his eyes and he's about to say something when I bounce up to my feet and practically tackle him onto the ground. We fall ungracefully and Charles laughs as I kiss him hard.

"I love you. So f*cking much. Thank you for the rings, they are breathtaking." I whisper in between more kisses.

"I'm sorry that you didn't get them sooner, but it took longer than expected to get the ring made. I wanted them to be perfect for you." He explains when I pull away to look back down at the ring box with blurred vision. I'm emotional, and it's hard for me to put into words how thankful I am. Not for the rings, I don't really care if I have a huge ring or not. I mean they are beautiful and I love them, but I'm just thankful to have this amazing, thoughtful man as my husband. And the fact that we're finally going to have a baby is just a lot to take in at the moment.

Charles hands tangle into my hair and he gently tugs so I'm looking up at him. He's looking at me curiously, staring deeply into my eyes like he's trying to figure out why I'm being so emotional. I'm not sure what he sees reflected back towards him because I see his brows furrow and a look of concern comes over his face.

"What's wrong?" He asks with a touch of worry and I tear up even more. Maybe I should just tell him I'm pregnant now, even though I want to make it special for him. But I don't want him to be worried about me. I sigh in resignation that I need to just tell him but before I can he pulls me tightly towards him and starts whispering sadly into my hair.

"You must have started your period...it's okay baby. It was only the first month of the medication, it doesn't mean it won't work for us this month." He sounds like he's holding back tears of his own and my heart clenches in my chest. This has all been difficult for him too, and I want to tell him that the medication did work but I'm desperate to make it memorable for him so I decide to wait. Instead I just hug him tightly as we comfort each other.

"Come on, LP. We're going to be late!!" I shout as I wait anxiously by the front door of the apartment. A moment later Charles is walking towards me, his phone up to his ear as he listens to someone on the other end. He holds up one finger to me indicating to give him a minute and I try not to get frustrated. We aren't really going to be late, but I'm anxious and excited.

I'm surprising Charles by taking us back to the aquarium. We haven't been since last year. He thinks we going out to dinner, and we are, but later. Right now, I want to surprise him with the news of the baby. And for some reason it feels right to do it at the aquarium. He talks in Italian into the phone and I sigh because I know it's not going to be a fast call. It's most likely someone from Maranello. They are making some updates on his car and have been calling him non stop about them.

When a minute has come and gone, I sigh. It gets Charles attention and I mouth to him that I'm going to be waiting for him down in the garage. Maybe that will make his conversation going quicker. He furrows his brows at me as I walk out of the apartment, and I know he thinks I'm upset with him. I'm not, not really. I just need to tell him our news, otherwise I'm going to explode. I'm desperate to tell him. And, it has to be today that I tell him because my first doctors appointment is tomorrow morning.

Five minutes later I finally see him coming towards the car in the rearview mirror. He looks confused when he sees me sitting in the drivers seat and I know he's going to complain about it the moment he gets in the car.

"Mon soleil, why are you driving?" He asks when he opens the door. He couldn't even wait to comment on it until he was in the car. I roll my eyes as he takes a seat and looks toward me with a grumpy face. It's pretty cute and I can't help but laugh.

"That's what you get for taking so long." I reply as I put the car into reverse and head out of the parking garage. Charles groans as he puts his seat belt on and I have to bite my lip to keep from laughing again. He smartly keeps his mouth shut as I navigate throught he streets of Monaco. When I start making my way towards the aquarium instead of the restaurant, he looks over at me with clear confusion in his eyes.

"Where are we going?" He finally asks and I glance over at him with a soft smile.

"You'll see, it's a surprise." I reply and he narrows his eyes but doesn't press any further.

A few minutes later, I'm pulling into the aquariums parking lot and parking Charles' car. We're the only ones here, since it's after hours. The only other car in the parking lot is of the security guard, who is graciously letting us come after hours. It's the same one from where Charles and I were last here. When he sees Charles and I walking toward him hand in hand he smiles brightly and greets us by name. We chat for a few minutes until we make our leave.

I'm pulling Charles forward with my hand in his, towards the jellyfish exhibit and I can tell that he's confused by this surprise. When we finally make it, I'm giddy. Partially becasue I am excited to finally tell Charles the good news, and partially because of how much I love jellyfish. Charles is silent as I lead him towards a specific tank with bright blue jellyfish.

"Do you remember the conversation we had the last time we were here?" I ask quietly as Charles wraps his arms around my waist and rests his chin on my shoulder.

"About why you love jellyfish so much?" He asks and I nod as I continue to stare at the beautiful floating creatures.

"They're so resilient and adaptable; I think that's why I've always related to them, because I've always had to be resilient and adaptable in my life. But the past year I've been able to finally put my guard down and not have to worry so much about adapting. You've given me stability and so much love that it overwhelms me so much sometimes." I confess and I feel Charles' arms around me tighten and he kisses my neck lightly.

"In ways I feel like you're the one who has been resilient and adaptable this year. You've had to deal with my crazy emotions, and the stress of my mental break downs as well as focusing on your career and everything else that life has thrown at you." I add and I rotate in his arms so I'm not facing him. He looks beautiful with a blue glow to his skin. His eyes are mesmorizing and glassy as he stares back at me. I lean forward and kiss him gently.

"I have something for you." I whisper when I pull back and I grab the small box that was hidden in my pocket and I hold it between us. He glances down at the box and swallows before taking it from my hand.

I watch silently as he opens the box, and my heart is beating a mile a minute when he pulls out the leather corded bracelet. At first glance it doesn't look like much and I know he's confused by the gift. He glances up to me with an awkward smile and I laugh before grabbing the bracelet and showing him the gold bead on it that's engraved. It's hard to read in here because it's so dark but there is just enough light to read the definitive script of the nameJules.

His eyes flash to mine in confusion. He hasn't quite gotten it yet, so I pull gently on the necklace that I've hidden under my shirt. It's a gold name plate necklace that also readsJulesin old english writing. Charles still looks confused and I shake my head with a chuckle. Of course he wouldn't understand even though we've been talking about naming our first born after Jules for the past year, no matter if it was a boy or girl. To hopefully make it obvious, I grab his hand and place it on my stomach. It's then that everything clicks, and his eyes widen comically and his jaw drops in shock.

"You're pregnant?!" He exclaims and I smile brightly as I nod. A moment later he's wrapped me into his arms and is spinning me in a circle which makes me laugh excitedly. When he sets me down on my feet, his hands immediately bring my face to his and he kisses me breathlessly. Butterflies fill my stomach and my heart is bursting out of my chest. He rests his forehead on mine and we're both breathing hard. A moment later I feel moisture on my cheek and I realize Charles is crying and my heart surges in my chest and my eyes begin to water.

"You're really pregnant?" He whispers with emotion and I wrap my hands into his hair as I respond.

"I am, LP. You're finally going to be a papa." I whisper as I start placing soft kisses on his cheeks, catching all of his tears. His body relaxes into mine and I can feel the relief radiating from him. I don't think I realized until this very moment how much this was weighing on him, just like it was on me. Of course I knew he wanted this, but I didn't realize how desperate he was until now.

I gasp when Charles suddenly drops down onto his knees in front of me and places his forehead on my stomach and wraps his arms tightly around me. My eyes fill with tears as he leans forward and places a soft kiss on my tummy and starts whispering in french.

"J'ai hâte de te rencontrer, petit. Je t'aime déjà tellement." My heart is so happy in this moment as I watch this wonderful, amazing man already love our child so much. I'm so lucky to have this life I've been given and all of the waiting we've done for this baby has been worth it for this very memory. Charles looks up at me then, his eyes are so full of happiness and relief and I smile down at him happily.

"Je t'aime, mon soleil." He tells me and I sigh happily.

"Je t'aime, LP."

Chapter 63: Somewhere Only We Know

Chapter Text

Lydia's POV

It's the night before the wedding and I'm stress eating a pint of mint chocolate chip icecream. I'm not sure if this is already a pregnancy craving but I couldn't stop thinking about it the moment I woke up this morning and stopped feeling nauseous. Charles went out and bought me the pint before he left for the night to stay at the airbnb Lando rented.

I'm not even sure what I'm stressed about. Charles and I are already married, it's not like I'm nervous to marry him. I've been there, done that; plus I have a bun in the oven. It's more that I'm nervous of all the cameras that are going to be on me, and the fact that I have to try to hide a pregnancy in front of 200+ people. Don't tell me who all those people are, because I couldn't tell you. If you ask Morgan and Bianca they could tell you, but me? I have no clue.

"Tell me again why there are going to be so many people here?" I ask a bit frantically as I try to ignore the anxiety ripping at my insides. Usually I'm fine with attention even if I don't necessarily like it, but it feels different this time. Maybe it's the fact that this is going to be published in multiple magazines and plastered all over the internet, but I am freaking out.

"I didn't want all of this!" I continue shrilly as I throw my hands up in the air and wave them around. Morgan stares at me like I have two heads and I have to turn away from her judgement or I'll start crying. I start pacing as I take another bite of icecream and try to calm myself down.It's only one day. I can do this. No one will suspect anything if I just chill out and relax.My internal dialogue does nothing to help and I groan in frustration.

"Babe, what the hell is your problem?" Morgan finally asks and I whip my head towards her and glower. Is she serious?

"My problem is the fact that I'm not going to know 90 percent of the people at my wedding. My problem is the fact that I will have to hide a new pregnancy in front of 200 people and pretend like I don't want to just f*cking sleep for the next 9 months because I'm so f*cking tired. My problem is that Charles isn't here right now because of some stupid tradition that doesn't even matter because we're already f*cking married!!!" I rant and when I'm done I slam another bite of icecream in my mouth and begin my pacing again.

Clearly I'm acting insane. I know that, and Morgan certainly knows that. But she doesn't say anything. She just silently grabs her phone from where it's resting beside her and begins texting someone. I ignore her and try again to calm myself down. It works kind of, at least for a little bit until I realize I'm out of ice cream and I feel myself starting to feel weepy and tears begin to fall from my eyes. f*cking pregnancy hormones.

"How are things going in he...." Kelly says excitedly as she steps into the room, but her voice trails off when she sees me standing there looking devastated, holding my empty ice cream carton. She immediately walks towards me and grabs my arms with concern.

"What's wrong?!" She asks with worry and I begin to cry even harder. Her eyes widen and she looks bewildered as she looks between me and Morgan.

"She's having a mental break down." Morgan replies like it's nothing new and not a big deal. And really it's not, I'm just having a moment. Kelly doesn't look any less concerned. If anything she looks more concerned now and she bends down so she can look into my eyes.

"Lyds, can you take a deep breath and try to tell me what's wrong." She says like I'm a child and I start laughing because this is absurd. My behavior is absurd. Kelly looks completely perplexed and it makes me laugh even harder.

"We need to do something Morgan!" Kelly shouts as I continue to laugh. Morgan holds up her phone like it's the solution and for a moment I wonder what she's implying.

"Reinforcements are on the way." She says like that clears up the confusion. Kelly furrows her brows but nods, then she's back to looking at me. I'm finally starting to come down from the laughter and I'm wiping the stray tears from my face with my hand that isn't holding the ice cream, which Kelly begins to take from my hands. I let her since I have no need for it anymore. She then leads me to the vanity that I grew up watching my grandmother use every summer. I stare through the mirror at Kelly as she picks up my brush and begins brushing my hair. It's soothing and I instantly begin to relax.

"I think part of why I'm freaking out is because of being in this house." I whisper a few minutes later and I watch Kelly and Morgan turn their gaze to mine through the mirror.

"It's made me realize how I literally don't have any family anymore, not that I have had any over the past 16 years...but still, out of 200+ guests, all the family I have is Ez. We're getting married on property that my family owns yet I have no body." I say thickly as large tears fall from my eyes. Sympathy reflects on their faces as I quickly wipe the tears, feeling silly for caring.

"Don't get me wrong, I love the family that I've found and Charles' family has welcomed me and Ezra with open arms, but there's just something about being in this house again that makes me deeply sad. And I feel guilty for being sad because I should be happy. I have everything I've ever wanted; the man of my dreams, the most wonderful son and another baby on the way. A home that truly feels like home for maybe the first time ever...but yet I'm still sad. I feel so stupid because I am so blessed!" I laugh humorlessly as more tears fall and I shake my head in annoyance with myself for acting like this.

"I feel the same way, baby." Charles voice suddenly says, and I quickly find him through the mirror, standing in the doorway of the bedroom. My heart clenches in my chest when I see him looking at me. I'm so happy he's here, but sad that he had to hear my say all of that. Morgan and Kelly are both start to leave the room when he walks further in. Telling me they'll see me tomorrow morning and giving Charles kisses on the cheek before closing the door behind them. Charles walks closer to me and when he stands right behind me, I turn to face him and he grabs my hands in his.

"I wish my papa and Jules were here. I wish that everyday, but especially during big moments in my life. It makes me extremely sad thinking about all that they have missed and will continue to miss, but it doesn't mean I'm not the happiest I've ever been. You can feel both things at once mon soleil." He tells me with unshed tears in his eyes and I instantly feel worse because I'm complaining about people who are still alive, while he has two of the most important people in his life, gone.

"You're situation is far worse than mine, Charles. It's understandable that you're sad. You lost your father and your godfather. My family is still very much alive, they just chose to not be in my life because they are horrible people. I have no reason to be sad. I shouldn't want them here or care!" I say angrily. Not with him, but with myself. He pulls me to my feet then, and moves his hands to my face, forcing me to look into his eyes. I try to keep my tears at bay but fail when I see the amount of love in his gaze.

"Stop minimizing your pain, baby. Just let it go, it's okay to feel sad. No one is judging you for it except yourself." He tells me before leaning forward and kissing me. The moment his lips are on mine I feel better. He makes me feel better. He makes me feel so good, and soon enough I'm deepening the kiss and desperate for him. These pregnancy hormones are insane and right now, all I can think about is how badly I want him. He looks at me questioningly when I start to unbutton his pants a bit frantically.

"I need you." I whisper as I move my lips along his neck and he sighs so sexily that it makes my puss* clench with need. It doesn't take him long to catch up to my speed and in a matter of seconds we're both naked and headed to the bed.

We ended up choosing to get married in Galveston, at the beach house and property my grandmother left for Ezra and me. The ceremony is set to take place on the beach with a follow up reception on the large lawn between the sand and the huge house where most of us are staying. Morgan, Bianca and Kelly did most of the planning for me while I just told them the basics of what I wanted and let them go free on whatever they wanted, trusting them completely. And thank god I did because everything is an absolute dream.

When I walk outside for the first time the next morning, everything is in full swing. There are people everywhere setting up tables and chairs, a dance floor and string lights. Flowers and linens are being draped and set up to perfection and tears prick my eyes at the beauty of it all. Charles is holding my hand tightly as we walk around and take everything in. He's leaving in a few minutes to go get ready back at Lando's airbnb while I'm staying here to get ready with the girls.

"I need to go mon soleil." He tells me as he pulls his phone out of his pocket, Arthur's name displayed on the screen.

"I'll see you in a few hours, LP. I can't wait to marry you...again." I tell him cheekily as I lean forward and kiss him sweetly. He shakes his head adorably as I pull away and bites his lip. Damn, he's perfect and I love him so much.

"I love you." He tells me as he looks behind me and I'm suddenly getting picked up in a bear hug from someone behind me and I yelp in shock. When the person sets me down, I see that it's Ezra and I immediately start getting misty eyed.

"Please don't tell me you're crying again." He groans in annoyance as he notices my eyes and I laugh as I wipe away the moisture.

"Get used to it, baby. I'm going to be like this for at least the next 10 months, if not longer." I tell him as I wrap my arms around him tightly. He must make a face or something because Charles chuckles.

"You should have seen her last night. She was a complete mess." He says innocently, but when I turn to look at him he gives me a knowing look and I know he's not talking about my breakdown earlier in the night. No, he's talking about when we were having sex and he made me come so hard that I cried. My cheeks flush at the memory, both in embarrassment but more with need for a night like last night to happen again.

"So what if I'm emotional. That's what happens when you're growing another human, so give me a break!" I chastise and they both look sheepish which makes me smile.

"I still can't believe I'm going to finally have a sibling. It's crazy." Ezra says with a huge smile and my heart soars in my chest at his excitement.

"Sorry it's taken so long for you to get one, baby." I reply and he shakes his head like I'm crazy.

"It's okay, you just had to wait for your happily ever after." He says as he looks over to Charles fondly and I feel like I want to cry all over again.

"Okay, you two need to leave or I will start bawling. I love you both and I'll see you in a few hours!" I tell them as I start pushing them away towards the car Arthur is currently waiting in. They both laugh at me but don't fight me on leaving. With I love you's, they leave my standing in the lawn and my heart fills with so much happiness as I watch them together. I see someone approach me in my peripherals and when I turn to see who it is, I see Pascale. She comes to stand beside me and wraps her arm with mine and grabs my hand to squeeze.

"You aren't going with them?" I ask as we watch Charles climb into the front seat next to Arthur. They both wave in our direction and we wave back.

"No, I'm right where I need to be." She says warmly as she turns to look at me and my heart surges in my chest over that fact. Without my mother or my grandmother here, I've felt weird about getting ready without having a maternal figure. It's so old fashioned but there's something about having someone like that with you while you get ready for your wedding. Emotion clogs my throat and I can't speak but Pascale doesn't seem to care.

"Come on, let's get you and my grand baby some breakfast and then I'll start your hair." She says as she starts walking us back towards the house.

A little while later, I'm ready to get married. My hair and makeup is done, my dress is on snuggly and I'm ready to go. When I glance out the second story window towards the beach I see hundreds of people sitting there waiting for this show to get on the road. I see Charles, Arthur, Lorenzo, Jeremy, Lando and Max standing around the front of the crowd near the altar. Charles looks nervous as he fidgets with the bracelet I gave him a few weeks ago.

"Are you ready, Mama?" Ezra asks and I turn to find him looking so handsome in a tan linen suit. He looks grown up and I try to keep my emotions at bay when I'm suddenly hit with the fact that he's no longer my baby. He's almost a man.

"Wow, Mama. You look beautiful." He tells me as he walks further into the room. I meet him half way and give him a tight hug.

"Thanks, baby. You look mighty handsome yourself." I tell him and he blushes slightly which makes me smile.

He links his arm with mine and we make our way downstairs where Kelly, Morgan, and Bianca are waiting for us. Kelly hands me my bouquet and we get the show on the road. When we get close to the beach, the music begins to change and the procession of my bridesmaids go slowly down the aisle as Ezra and I wait patiently. My eyes are already on Charles who is staring down at his feet since he can't see me yet.

The music changes again and I recognize it as one that Charles has been working on lately whenever we've been home. I didn't realize that he was writing it for this moment. Tears threaten to fall as Ezra and I make our way forward. I try not to freak out when every persons eyes are trained on me as I make my way down the aisle. Charles is now staring at me though, and the heated expression on his face makes the crowd disappear. Nothing else matters in this moment, except for him.

We finally reach the end of the aisle and Ezra places my hand into Charles' outstretched one, then places a soft kiss on my cheek and tells me he loves me. I hand him my bouquet which he takes and then moves to stand beside Kelly on my side of the alter.

"You look like a dream come true mon soleil." Charles whispers in appreciation as we hold each others hands in front of Jeremy who agreed to marry us. I smile as everyone sits down.

"Back at you, LP. I love the suit." I reply as I look him up and down. He's also wearing a tan linen suit. It fits him perfectly and his hair is tousled to perfection as well and he looks so good. He winks at me as Jeremy begins the ceremony.

"Today we gather together to celebrate the union of Lydia Kincaid and Charles Leclerc in marriage..." he begins and my stomach fills with butterflies as I realize that we're doing this...again. But this time in front of everyone that we love. Jeremy talks about our love story and how everyone that has gotten to witness it is so happy to finally be here today. By the time we are ready to say our vowels a few minutes later, I'm already a bit emotional. Jeremy indicates to me that I'm up first and I clear my throat before beginning.

"Charles, you came into my life when I least expected it. I never thought in a million years that I would run into you at a dive bar in the middle of nowhere Italy, but I thank god everyday that I did. Although, I did call you Henri, and ended up ditching you that night." I start and the whole crowd laughs and Charles narrow his eyes in annoyance which makes me smile.

"But fate had other plans and put us in the same place at the same time again. You scared the sh*t out of me though and I had so many walls up. But the more I got to know you and the more those walls came tumbling down, the more I realized I couldn't be without you. Although we went through some hard times, fate never let us forget that we truly belong together and I can't wait to start this next chapter of our story together. I vow to love you for eternity because anything less than that just won't be long enough." I finish and I see Charles wipe his eyes and I wipe my own tears as well.

"f*ck, mon soleil. You weren't supposed to make me cry." Charles jokes and makes everyone laugh, including myself. Then he grabs my hands back into his and squeezes as he begins his vows to me.

"Lydia...mon soleil. The moment I saw you the first time, I immediately knew I needed to get to know you. You were like sunshine after a rainy day. A breath of fresh air and so beautiful it almost hurt to look at you. Then once I actually got to talking to you, I found out you were a ball buster with a fiery attitude and I pretty much fell in love on the spot. You didn't make it easy on me, and for that I say thank you. Thank you for making me realize what I was missing in my life and how badly I truly needed you to come along. I was going through the motions of life before you, but now I'm enjoying life again. I wake up every morning with anticipation of what the day is going to bring because now I have someone special to share every moment with. You and Ezra both brought sunshine back into my life and have made me the happiest man. I will cherish your always and vow to never let you forget how much you've changed my life. I love you, mon soleil." He tells me and I'm officially balling my eyes out. Charles smiles sweetly at me as he pulls me closer so he can wipe my tears. I want to kiss him but before I can, Jeremy stops me.

"Not yet!" He shouts which makes everyone laugh but I growl in annoyance.

"Then let's finish, shall we?" I say impatiently and Charles chuckles.

"All we have left is the ring exchange, the I do's and then announcing you as married." Jeremy laughs as he pulls the rings out of his suit pocket and hands them to us. We repeat more vows to each other as we put each others rings on, then we say I do for the second time and finally it's time for our kiss.

"By the powers vested in me and the state of Texas, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride!" He shouts happily as the crowd begins to erupt in cheers and celebration. I don't see anyone other than Charles in this moment though and the second his lips meet mine, all thoughts leave my brain except for one.I love you.

The kiss is a bit dirty and a bit romantic, the perfect mixture that makes me lose my breath. By the time we pull apart cat calls are being made and more cheers erupt. It makes me laugh in delight as I stare at Charles with so much love.

"Let's give it up for the new Mr. & Mrs. Charles Leclerc everyone!!" Jeremy shouts to the crowd and madness ensues. Champagne bottles pop and begin to spray on us as we walk down the aisle as well as confetti. Luckily Charles blocks most of it from me so I don't get too wet from the champagne. When we make it to the end of the aisle, Charles pulls me toward him again and kisses me deeply and I swoon.

"How does it feel to be my wife for the second time?" He asks me when he pulls away with a smile.

"Even better than the first time." I tell him back and kiss him again, right as our wedding party envelopes us into a group hug and they tell us congratulations.

I'm exhausted. It's nearing the end of the night and I am thankful for it. But I also don't want the night to end. Today was been an absolute dream.

"Mon soleil, come dance with me one more time and then we'll leave." Charles tells me as he holds out his hand to me. I take it with a smile and he leads us to the dance floor. There are many other couples on the dance floor as well but I ignore them, my focus solely on my husband. The song transitions to a slow one,Wonderful Tonightby Eric Clapton. Charles wraps his arms around me and I lean my head on his shoulder as I hold him tight. My lips are close to his throat and I place a soft kiss there as we start to dance. He shivers and pulls me closer.

"Please stop mon soleil. I don't think you realize how badly I want you right now. How badly I've wanted you from the second I saw you this afternoon. I want to dance this last dance with you and then we can go have fun. Okay?" He says darkly and my puss* throbs at his words. It's nice to know that he's been aching for me like I have been for him.

"Fine, but the moment the song ends we are leaving so I can get your co*ck in my mouth." I whisper in his ear and Charles nearly chokes at my words which makes me smile. His grip on me tightens even more and I moan when I feel his hard on pressing against me.

Charles resolve must crumble because not even a moment later, he's dragging me off of the dance floor and dragging me towards the house where we are staying alone tonight. Everyone else is camping on the beach or going to another airbnb. Charles is in such a rush we don't even say goodbye to anyone. He just marches us into the house and proceeds to lock the door behind us so no one can get in. It makes me laugh but that's quickly gone when Charles pushes me against the door and kisses me fiercely.

"Get on your knees." He demands when he pulls away and I waste no time. I drop to my knees, not needed to be told twice. I'm sure I'm a sight to see on my knees in my wedding dress in front of Charles as he places his co*ck in my waiting mouth but I can't think of a better way to end my night.

For the rest of the night Charles keeps me busy, my exhausted far forgotten. By the time the sun is beginning to rise, I'm ready to pass out though. Which I do, laying across Charles in a heap of exhaustion. We end up sleeping most of the day away and even when we wake up we stick to just us two, not wanting anyone to burst our bubble.

Eventually we venture out of the bedroom though and end up finding a party happening outside on the lawn with our friends and family. Everyone cheers when they see us and give us knowing looks which makes me blush for some reason. We spend the rest of the night reminiscing about the day prior and we look at some of the photos the photographer sent us and decide to officially post to our social media pages, letting everyone know that we are officially hitched. Or at least officially in the public's eyes.

I've never been happier than I am in this moment of time and as I sit and stare at all of the people I love most in the world, I find myself thanking the universe for getting me to this point after so many hardships. I've finally found the place I'm meant to be.

Chapter 64: Love Me Like You Do

Chapter Text

Lydia's POV

"Mon Soleil?" Charles shouts into the apartment and I breath a sigh of relief that he's finally home. He was just in England for the weekend for the Great Britain GP. I stayed home since I'm 9 months pregnant and good thing I didn't go, because I am currently in labor. I haven't told Charles yet though.

"In our bedroom!" I shout in response as I continue bouncing on my medicine ball and breathing through another contraction that just started. They have been about 15 minutes apart and last for about a minute and they've been that way for about an hour so I'm not in any hurry to head to the hospital quite yet. Charles has a bright smile on his face when he enters the room but the moment he sees me breathing the way I am he looks panicked.

"Are you in labor?!" He shouts as he comes closer to me, dropping to his knees and grabbing my hands as if to support me and I laugh as the contraction ends. I keep bouncing though.

"Yes." I smile brightly with excitement, because this is exciting! Charles looks even more panicked now and I don't know why. We've been over the birth plan countless times and we have everything and anything imaginable for this baby for when we come home. Our hospital bags are packed and ready to go, our car seat is set up in the car and we are ready to bring this baby into the world.

"Why are you freaking out?" I ask curiously as I grab Charles hand and place it on my belly because Jules is kicking. He loves to feel the kicks so I'm hoping it will calm him down.

"We're going to find out if Jules is a boy or girl today." He says in complete awe and I melt at his expression.

"It feels like we've been waiting forever to meet them. It just strange to know that our dream is about to become a reality." He explains and tears prick my eyes. My emotions are much better now then they were at the beginning of my pregnancy but I still get misty eyed often and seeing how excited Charles is makes me emotional.

"Do we need to head to the hospital?" He asks and I shake my head no.

"No, the contractions aren't very close together yet and my waters are still intact. It's still going to be awhile." I tell him and he nods in understanding.

"Then I'm going to go take a shower if that's okay." He tells me as he stands back up onto his feet. I smile up at him as he leans down to give me a kiss. He pulls away too quick and I beckon him back for more kisses since we haven't seen each other in days.

"LP!!" I shout, but there is no response.

"CHARLES!!!" I shout, louder this time and I hear running coming towards me from the other room.

"What's wrong? Is it time to go?" He asks frantically, and I look pointedly at my pants that now sport a nice wet spot, making it look like I peed myself.

"I need a little help changing." I explain and he furrows his brows and doesn't move. I huff out a breath of annoyance.

"My water just broke. I need you to help me put on some new pants so we can finally go to the hospital." I explain like he's a toddler and it finally clicks that I didn't actually pee myself and that the moment we've been waiting all day for has finally arrived. I've been laboring at home all day long, it's about 11pm at night now and I was getting worried things were at a stand still until my water just decided to break.

Getting changed isn't the easiest, especially because the biggest contraction I've had so far starts right when I start putting my leg into the sweats Charles brought. I grip his hand tightly as I breath through the contraction and he whispers soothing words to me. When it's finally over we continue putting the pants on and make our way out the door, making sure we grab all of the items we need.

When we finally make it to the hospital, they immediately take us into a private room in the maternity ward. They have me change into the outfit I want to give birth in. Once I'm all dressed they strap on monitors to my belly to track my contractions which are now coming every 5 or so minutes and lasting longer. Eventually a nurse comes in and tells me I need to get a pelvic exam to see how far dilated I am. Charles distracts me as she does it and when her head pops up to look at us she tells us I'm already at 5cm.

About an hour and a half later, I'm ready to push. The contractions are coming more frequently now, almost one right after the other with no reprieve. I feel bad for Charles because of how hard I'm squeezing his hand, worried that I'll hurt him and he won't be able to drive due to injured hands but he keeps insisting he's fine.

Thirty minutes into pushing I'm dead tired and ready to give up. I don't remember having this much trouble with Ezra, but I guess that's the difference between a young girls body and a grown woman's body. I'm sweaty and miserable and tears are streaming down my face because I just want my baby out of me. Charles leans his head against mine so his mouth is right by my ear.

"Mon soleil, you can do this. You're almost there, just a few more pushes and we'll get to see our baby, you'll get to see Jules. Come on baby, push. You can do it." He whispers as another contraction starts and the doctor and nurses are all yelling at me to push. I put everything I have left into this push. I channel all the love I feel flowing from a Charles into this push. The scream I release is feral, but I don't care. It feels good to scream, so I keep doing it and with one final push I feel my babies head leave my body followed by the rest of them and I sigh in relief as I look at my baby.

"Félicitations, c'est un garçon." One of the nurses says as she hands Jules to me as she cleans him off a little bit. Tears immediately fill my eyes as I look at how big and beautiful he is. I turn to look at Charles and see tears of his own falling from his face as he stares in awe at Jules.

"You were amazing mon soleil. I love you so much." He says when he turns his gaze to me and leans forward to give me a kiss. I lean into his touch and sigh happily.

"I love you too, LP." I reply as I kiss him again. Jules cries in my arms then and we jerk apart and look down at him to see his trying to open his eyes.

"We have a son." Charles whispers in awe as I gently run a finger over Jules' dark hair and I feel Charles wrap his arms tighter around me and kiss my shoulder lovingly.

"Jules Hervé Charles Leclerc." I whisper in response. He's named after three very important men and it's perfect.

Both of us are silent as we continue to stare at him, admiring him until the nurses tell us we need to cut his umbilical cord, which Charles does, and take him to get weighed and measured. The doctor checks me out to make sure everything is okay and it turns out I need a few stitches so he does that as well.

By the time both me and Jules are both done being poked and prodded and everyone is out of the room except for me and Charles, I'm just ready to stare at Jules for as long as possible. I make room on my hospital bed so Charles can lay beside me and we hold Jules between us. We just sit and stare at him as we make predictions of the future and what we think he's going to be like, who he's going to look like and talk about how happy we are that he's finally here.

It takes us awhile to get used to this new way of life and by the time we leave the hospital two days later, we somewhat have the hang of it. Luckily Jules seems easy so far. He's a good eater and an okay sleeper so I'm not complaining.

"So I have to warn you. We have company." Charles tells me as we drive back to our place from the hospital. I'm sitting in the backseat with Jules as Charles drives so I glance up to see Charles looking at me through the rearview mirror. He looks worried about my reaction and I smile.

"I figure we would. When no one showed up at the hospital I knew they would be at our place." I say with a laugh.

"I told everyone to stay away from the hospital. I wanted that experience to be just us. If Ezra wasn't in Australia, I would have let him be there since he's apart of our family but everyone else could wait." He explains and my heart seizes in my chest. I love him.

"Thank you." I reply and his eyes find mine again in the rearview mirror and he winks.

"Everyone, I want you to meet Jules Hervé Charles Leclerc. He is 8 lbs 12oz and 53cm and he's absolutely perfect." I tell the large group of people who are sitting in our living room.

Pascale, Lorenzo, Charlotte, Max, Kelly, Penelope, Jeremy, Morgan, Lando, Bianca and their daughter they just had in April, Daphne have been anxiously waiting for us. Now that we're hear they immediately get up from their seats to get a better look at Jules. I'm about to hand Jules to Pascale to hold when I hear the door to the apartment open and a loud voice yell.

"Where's my baby brother?!" Ezra walks in then, followed by Arthur and I immediately start crying. How the hell did he get here so fast? I don't care, I'm just happy he's here.

I look at Pascale who gives me a soft smile and nod, indicating that it's okay that Ezra gets to hold Jules first since it's his sibling. When Ezra comes closer to me he bends down and gives me a kiss on top of the head.

"Hi Mama. Surprised to see me?" He asks as he then turns to look at Jules in my arms.

"I am surprised. How did you get here so fast?" I ask but he doesn't respond, too enrapture with his baby brother.

"Want to hold him?" I ask quietly and Ezra glances to me looking slightly panicked but nods in agreement. I help him at first with supporting Jules' head and getting the right position until he gets more comfortable and then I let him have a moment.

"You and me are going to be best friends." Ezra whispers to Jules and kisses his head softly. Tears fill my eyes as I watch them and I feel Charles come up behind me and wrap his arms around me gently as we both stare at them.

"You've made all my dreams come true, mon soleil." Charles whispers in my ear and I smile as I turn to face him. We stare at each other for a minute before I look back to Ezra and Jules.

"I'm not done yet. We need at least 2 more, if not three." I tell him and he chuckles against my neck.

"You're the one who said you wanted at least 4 kids." I remind him with a smile and he shuts me up by kissing me and I let him.